It should have been cleared up months before Harry even was killed. This SL is so stupid I have had to stop rolling my eyes over ridiculous developments from sheer fatigue.
The way Romeo talks about Lily melts my heart 💔😭still annoyed she was killed off. I wished she just left for university or something so the doors could always be opened for her 😭😫😫
I don't understand why nobody in this family thinks of calling a therapist instead of asking dumbfounded why James is drinking too much or meeting other guys or just *tried to kill himself* (deliberately, as he admitted) Because the pain caused by Harry's death is an addition to the load of pain that he bottled up and never learnt to deal with. And as little as I want to excuse James's acts of violence, I can see the cry for help and the despair behind it that he doesn't know how to express verbally. But no, they rather tell him that Harry's better off dead than near him.
You want to see that cause you like James, and therefore want to excuse his behavior. What we actually saw was how the feeling of losing control and power made James become cruel and ruthless, just so he could feel himself to be in control and hold the power again - textbook psychopath when stressed from losing control. I am not saying that James are not effected by Harry`s death, and even feels guilty about it. But what made him attack Marnie, Juliet and Romeo so cruel and ruthlessly was the loss of feeling to be powerful and in control - not the loss of Harry, or his abusive background with his father. In fact for James to change for the better he needs to stop using his father`s abusive behavior as an excuse, and instead face up to - and own - what he has done, and how he have behaved himself. Unless he accept the fact that he, and he alone, is responsible for his behavior and actions, he can never grow as a human being.
@@Tvjunkieful12 I'm saying this because I'm seeing James as a human being and I'm trying to understand why humans act they way they do instead of simply calling them psycopaths. Or did you see James use violence as a reaction to his siblings not believing him about his father, being arrested for Kyle's murder, being dumped by Harry for Ste over and over again? Yes, the past doesn't excuse what happens in the past but James learnt from his past abuse one specific thing about pain and insecurities and how to deal with it: not at all. So James hitting Romeo is not caused by "stress from losing control" but by the fear of having to deal with something he can't handle. That's also why James said all those awful things to Romeo about Lily, claiming that what they had was nothing like a father-son relationship. He wanted Romeo to back of but he didn't. Instead, he kept reminding James unintentionally of what he's unable to do and what/who he failed because of it. Humans use violence when they can't help themselves with words. I think it's obvious that James doesn't intend to put somebody through systemical physical abuse like Mac did with him. So what he needs is professional help in order to help himself, meaning he learns how to deal with pain and how to communicate about it with other people.
@@kalalij9148 Pain does not explain what he did to Sami`s dad, what he did to Harry and Tony when he manipulated Harry into prostitution in order to use that night to get him to betray his father`s trust by persuading Tony to let James` mother take over Tony`s restaurant, and a whole lot of other incidents I will not waste space by listing. Those types of manipulations, mind games and power playing is strongly suggesting psychopathic tendencies. He needs professional help, absolutely. But he needs help from someone with experience in dealing with psychopaths, and who he therefore will not be able to manipulate and play mind games on - which he would have done, had this been real life, cause that is how he enjoys himself: by feeling superior to others, powerful and being in control. That was why he offered to be Harry`s pimp when he couldn`t win Harry back just by asking him. Why he, to persuade Harry not to marry Ste, told Harry Harry was bad like himself, and that was why the two of them were right for each other. For James his relationship with Harry was about control and manipulations. That is why he blew a fuse and broke up with Harry when he discovered Harry was going to be a father. Why he put a tracer app in Harry`s phone to keep tap on his movements and even drugged him to prevent him from seeing the mother of his child. James is a psychopath who doesn`t realize how much emotional hurt his manipulations inflicts on others, or to which extent it ruins his own life, since people ends up hating or despising him. His problem is not what Mac did to him - thousands of sons and daughters have similar experiences with controlling or demanding fathers without ending up being psychopaths - but that he himself does not realize the harmfulness, both to himself and others, of his destructive manipulative behavior. It is not enough to simply look at this situation when assessing James` behavior and the likely motivations behind it. You have to take into account the full picture - everything he has done that you know of - before reaching a conclusion of what makes him act the way he does in this particular situation. The mistake Marnie, Juliet and Romeo made here was that they ganged up on James, and that way made him fear to lose control and power. Something which for a psychopath is the worse thing that can happen. So to retrieve that control and power, James attacked as hard and viciously he knew it would take to win back control, and feel powerful again. That he hurts his mother, sister and son by doing this, doesn`t even enter his mind - cause he has not got sufficient ability of empathy to realize as much. The important thing when confronted with psychopaths is to know that you cannot trust neither what they say, or how they appear. The only way to read them is to analyze what they have done. And because of what James did to Sami`s father, framing him for his own embezzlement, despite Sami`s dad had been nothing but kind and helpful to him in his new job - a plan that had to have been of his own making, not his father`s, cause James was the only one with sufficient knowledge and the inside access to pull it off, so Mac cannot be blamed for that. What he did to Harry and Tony. To JP when he pushed his car off the cliff telling JP Ste was in the boot of it. What he said to Scott when he broke up with him, and several other incidents and actions. Looking at it all there is no question James, had this been real life, would have had to have been a psychopath - and of the rather extreme kind too. James is a manipulative narcissistic psychopath with delusions of grandeur and sadistic tendencies. That makes him extremely dangerous, both to individuals, and to society as a whole, since his ruthless manipulations and over sized ego extends all boundaries. He even co-conspired with his mother to make his own father believe he had Alzheimer, just to con his fortune off him. What makes these incidents so serious is that not only were they planned to minute detail, they took place over a longer periode of time, which would have allowed most more normal people plenty of time to re-consider and drop the idea. Still James carried through this type of cruel and long lasting manipulations time and time again. Proving him to be a psychopath. But even though James is a psychopath that does not mean he should have been locked up and the key thrown away. Granted he will never be cured fully, but even if he don`t feel empathy he can be thought techniques to understand it intellectually. And even if it never will be apparent to him, he can learn to understand and identify the personal benefits of being kind and respectful to people, rather than give in to the temptation to manipulate them just to feel superior to them. Still, for that to be possible, he must be treated by someone with experience in handling psychopaths, who are able to see the full picture and draw their conclusions from it, rather than from what he says (claims) or how he seems (acts). Cause James is a master manipulator, who should he get inside the mind of his therapist would be able to manipulate that person completely - just as "he" has with you. How he manipulated Harry into thinking he was the best thing that ever happened to Harry, and so on and so forth. Your assessment of this would have been spot - had it not been for the clear indications James has to be a psychopath, based on the totality of what he has done. Facts which changes everything. Since then neither what he says, nor how he seems, can be trusted. The only way to understand the why and the hows of his personality, behavior and actions is to look at what he has done, and what other more independent sources can contribute.
I really love James's personality despite the mistakes that happen to him but he is a good person from the inside just needs a new Harry to show him the right way James will be happy and strong don't worry ❤❤❤
I think a "new" Harry wouldn't be a solution since in the end, Harry's love (despite being so unconditional) couldn't truly take away James's insecurites. I believe he really needs professional help.
@@kalalij9148 James definitely needs professional help. Either that or he must realize himself that both his own life, and the lives of his mother, sister and son, would have been better, had he been kinder and more including towards people, instead of being obsessed with control and appearances. He also needs to realize he cannot excuse his behavior with how his father mistreated, physically abused and bullied him for being gay, anymore than a road can be blamed for a car speeding, instead of the driver. James has to accept responsibility for his own life - and own his mistakes and bad behavior - to be able to change for the better. But him being a psychopath, getting him to realize as much would not have been easy - so yes, professional help would be required. Helping him to shed his current self-destructive self in favor of the person he could become with the right motivation and attitude.
Attempting an intervention with a psychopath is not the best approach. James is so obsessed with control and appearances - and he enjoys playing mind games and winning over people who not even are aware they were competing - that such an attempt at stealing control away from him, as an intervention is, could never have gone well. James knew the best way to win back control was by attack. That was why he taunted them the way he did, causing them pain and making them feel vulnerable - cause then he felt powerful. It is also incorrect to excuse James` behavior with how his father mistreated and physically abused and bullied him for being gay. Same way as it is the driver, and not the road, to blame if a car is speeding, same way James - and James alone - is responsible for how he behaves and acts. But no one can tell James this, cause being a psychopath he will see it as an attempt to take control and power away from him, and he will be as ruthless and cruel as he was with Marnie, Juliet and Romeo here. So even though James` own life, and the lives of his mother, sister and son would have improved massively if he treated people with more kindness and respect, it is to no avail to say so to him directly. He either has to realize as much by himself, or be lead into realize as much by a professional therapist or psychologist with experience in working with psychopaths. Psychopaths can never be cured, but they can be made to realize the advantages of changing their motivations and attitudes towards others, and be more respectful and kind. Ideally the intervention should have gone like this: Marnie, Romeo and Juliet are standing together as a group when James enter. They don`t say a word at first, but waits for James to take the initiative. Whether he cracks a joke about them pretending to be the Three Stooges, the Sugarbabes or something, or if he just ask them "What?" doesn`t matter. By letting James speak first they are maintaining his feeling of being in control. And then one of them should have spoken for all of them, instead of them ganging up on him. Say it was Marnie. What she should have said was this: "James, we know you are hurting, and that this is awful for you. We want to help you - but unless you tell us how, we have no idea how to." After that James would either have left, or he would have talked to them. Either way they shouldn`t have talked before he had talked to them, and they should have allowed him to control the conversation by listening and asking question - never to say anything which made him feel to lose the control and the initiative. Whether he would have talked to them immediately, or he would have gone for a walk first - he would have talked to them that night, cause James loves the sound of his own voice - and that is how they would have been able to reach him. By listening and asking questions, so he felt to be in control of it all. But everything about being worried about him, and for him to listen for a change they should never have said. Worry signals some kind of failure on his part (psychopaths does not like to think of themselves as failures), and by telling him it was time for him to listen, they took his control and power away (and power and control is what psychopaths most enjoy in life).
They're too soft on him and that's why he keeps doing all this terrible stuff,it's just like a baby if you don't tell them off on their wrongs them they're going to keep doing wrong stuff
@@jordanpoyant8557 I would say it is exactly the opposite. He reacts as he does because they are being too direct and confrontational with him. Had they been less confrontational, he would not have felt provoked into attacking them, and they would have had a greater chance of reaching him, since he would have felt more in control, and thus would have trusted them more. And it is not a good idea to be strict with babies. They are too young to understand anyway, so any change in behavior is brought from sheer fear, not because they have learned anything.
@@jordanpoyant8557 I would agree they should stop mentioning Mac as the cause of James' behavior and acts, but not because James sees him as threat, more because otherwise they are not allowing James to take responsibility for his own live and acts.
@@Tvjunkieful12 yeah I deffo do agree,James always self Pitys himself but never takes responsibility,he's a 30 year old man,his abuse can't be an excuse for everything he's done,he's ruined lifes,now he needs to take responsibility
@@ChelseyLinden u gotta know how it feels to be arrested have your love of your life killed and be accused if it was me I need a drink too much is going on. Hell naw
The wine, the rent boys etc, doesn`t do him any good. What he needs to do is to face what has happened head on. Allow in help and support from the people around him - and that way get through the ordeal. Sedating himself with wine and distractions doesn`t fix anything. If anything it not only delays the grief and misery, but could even increase them, if his drinking interfered with his work and his ability to pay his bills. By allowing himself to drink and more because he feels sorry for himself, he gives himself an excuse to disengage from every day life and the people who care for, and need, him.
@@barbie_shadow3326 The problem is more James' own personality (his needs for power and control, causing him to be both cruel and ruthless), than Harry's death. James needs to accept full responsibility for his attitude and actions - not allow himself to excuse them because of the background with his father.
Will James solve the Harry case??
Watch Hollyoaks on All 4: bit.ly/2IZ3Ohd
yes he wii
Yes he should ❤
Hollyoaks He might he might not. Maybe it could be Ant, Azim, Brody, Brooke, Charlie, Cindy, Cleo, Damon, Darren, Dee Dee, Diane, Grace, Hannah, Imran, Jack, John Paul, Juliet, KK, Leah, Leela, Liam, Lisa, Lucas, Luke, Mandy, Marnie, Mercedes, Minnie, Misbah, Mitchell, Nana, Nancy, Oliver, Oscar, Peri, Romeo, Sally St. Claire, Sami, Scott, Sienna, Sinead, Ste, Walter, Warren or Yasmine. Who knows? This is Hollyoaks. ❤️
It should have been cleared up months before Harry even was killed. This SL is so stupid I have had to stop rolling my eyes over ridiculous developments from sheer fatigue.
He should but I don’t think so bec he is to heart💔 broken
The way Romeo talks about Lily melts my heart 💔😭still annoyed she was killed off. I wished she just left for university or something so the doors could always be opened for her 😭😫😫
Salina Hussain Me too! 💔😭💔😭
What day is this??
I don't understand why nobody in this family thinks of calling a therapist instead of asking dumbfounded why James is drinking too much or meeting other guys or just *tried to kill himself* (deliberately, as he admitted)
Because the pain caused by Harry's death is an addition to the load of pain that he bottled up and never learnt to deal with. And as little as I want to excuse James's acts of violence, I can see the cry for help and the despair behind it that he doesn't know how to express verbally.
But no, they rather tell him that Harry's better off dead than near him.
You want to see that cause you like James, and therefore want to excuse his behavior. What we actually saw was how the feeling of losing control and power made James become cruel and ruthless, just so he could feel himself to be in control and hold the power again - textbook psychopath when stressed from losing control. I am not saying that James are not effected by Harry`s death, and even feels guilty about it. But what made him attack Marnie, Juliet and Romeo so cruel and ruthlessly was the loss of feeling to be powerful and in control - not the loss of Harry, or his abusive background with his father. In fact for James to change for the better he needs to stop using his father`s abusive behavior as an excuse, and instead face up to - and own - what he has done, and how he have behaved himself. Unless he accept the fact that he, and he alone, is responsible for his behavior and actions, he can never grow as a human being.
@@Tvjunkieful12 I'm saying this because I'm seeing James as a human being and I'm trying to understand why humans act they way they do instead of simply calling them psycopaths.
Or did you see James use violence as a reaction to his siblings not believing him about his father, being arrested for Kyle's murder, being dumped by Harry for Ste over and over again?
Yes, the past doesn't excuse what happens in the past but James learnt from his past abuse one specific thing about pain and insecurities and how to deal with it: not at all.
So James hitting Romeo is not caused by "stress from losing control" but by the fear of having to deal with something he can't handle.
That's also why James said all those awful things to Romeo about Lily, claiming that what they had was nothing like a father-son relationship. He wanted Romeo to back of but he didn't. Instead, he kept reminding James unintentionally of what he's unable to do and what/who he failed because of it.
Humans use violence when they can't help themselves with words. I think it's obvious that James doesn't intend to put somebody through systemical physical abuse like Mac did with him.
So what he needs is professional help in order to help himself, meaning he learns how to deal with pain and how to communicate about it with other people.
@@kalalij9148 Pain does not explain what he did to Sami`s dad, what he did to Harry and Tony when he manipulated Harry into prostitution in order to use that night to get him to betray his father`s trust by persuading Tony to let James` mother take over Tony`s restaurant, and a whole lot of other incidents I will not waste space by listing. Those types of manipulations, mind games and power playing is strongly suggesting psychopathic tendencies. He needs professional help, absolutely. But he needs help from someone with experience in dealing with psychopaths, and who he therefore will not be able to manipulate and play mind games on - which he would have done, had this been real life, cause that is how he enjoys himself: by feeling superior to others, powerful and being in control.
That was why he offered to be Harry`s pimp when he couldn`t win Harry back just by asking him. Why he, to persuade Harry not to marry Ste, told Harry Harry was bad like himself, and that was why the two of them were right for each other. For James his relationship with Harry was about control and manipulations. That is why he blew a fuse and broke up with Harry when he discovered Harry was going to be a father. Why he put a tracer app in Harry`s phone to keep tap on his movements and even drugged him to prevent him from seeing the mother of his child. James is a psychopath who doesn`t realize how much emotional hurt his manipulations inflicts on others, or to which extent it ruins his own life, since people ends up hating or despising him. His problem is not what Mac did to him - thousands of sons and daughters have similar experiences with controlling or demanding fathers without ending up being psychopaths - but that he himself does not realize the harmfulness, both to himself and others, of his destructive manipulative behavior.
It is not enough to simply look at this situation when assessing James` behavior and the likely motivations behind it. You have to take into account the full picture - everything he has done that you know of - before reaching a conclusion of what makes him act the way he does in this particular situation.
The mistake Marnie, Juliet and Romeo made here was that they ganged up on James, and that way made him fear to lose control and power. Something which for a psychopath is the worse thing that can happen. So to retrieve that control and power, James attacked as hard and viciously he knew it would take to win back control, and feel powerful again. That he hurts his mother, sister and son by doing this, doesn`t even enter his mind - cause he has not got sufficient ability of empathy to realize as much.
The important thing when confronted with psychopaths is to know that you cannot trust neither what they say, or how they appear. The only way to read them is to analyze what they have done.
And because of what James did to Sami`s father, framing him for his own embezzlement, despite Sami`s dad had been nothing but kind and helpful to him in his new job - a plan that had to have been of his own making, not his father`s, cause James was the only one with sufficient knowledge and the inside access to pull it off, so Mac cannot be blamed for that. What he did to Harry and Tony. To JP when he pushed his car off the cliff telling JP Ste was in the boot of it. What he said to Scott when he broke up with him, and several other incidents and actions. Looking at it all there is no question James, had this been real life, would have had to have been a psychopath - and of the rather extreme kind too. James is a manipulative narcissistic psychopath with delusions of grandeur and sadistic tendencies. That makes him extremely dangerous, both to individuals, and to society as a whole, since his ruthless manipulations and over sized ego extends all boundaries. He even co-conspired with his mother to make his own father believe he had Alzheimer, just to con his fortune off him.
What makes these incidents so serious is that not only were they planned to minute detail, they took place over a longer periode of time, which would have allowed most more normal people plenty of time to re-consider and drop the idea. Still James carried through this type of cruel and long lasting manipulations time and time again. Proving him to be a psychopath.
But even though James is a psychopath that does not mean he should have been locked up and the key thrown away. Granted he will never be cured fully, but even if he don`t feel empathy he can be thought techniques to understand it intellectually. And even if it never will be apparent to him, he can learn to understand and identify the personal benefits of being kind and respectful to people, rather than give in to the temptation to manipulate them just to feel superior to them.
Still, for that to be possible, he must be treated by someone with experience in handling psychopaths, who are able to see the full picture and draw their conclusions from it, rather than from what he says (claims) or how he seems (acts). Cause James is a master manipulator, who should he get inside the mind of his therapist would be able to manipulate that person completely - just as "he" has with you. How he manipulated Harry into thinking he was the best thing that ever happened to Harry, and so on and so forth.
Your assessment of this would have been spot - had it not been for the clear indications James has to be a psychopath, based on the totality of what he has done. Facts which changes everything. Since then neither what he says, nor how he seems, can be trusted. The only way to understand the why and the hows of his personality, behavior and actions is to look at what he has done, and what other more independent sources can contribute.
I really love James's personality despite the mistakes that happen to him but he is a good person from the inside just needs a new Harry to show him the right way
James will be happy and strong don't worry ❤❤❤
I think a "new" Harry wouldn't be a solution since in the end, Harry's love (despite being so unconditional) couldn't truly take away James's insecurites. I believe he really needs professional help.
hessah Would that "New Harry" be someone like... A McQueen? ☺️
@@kalalij9148 James definitely needs professional help. Either that or he must realize himself that both his own life, and the lives of his mother, sister and son, would have been better, had he been kinder and more including towards people, instead of being obsessed with control and appearances. He also needs to realize he cannot excuse his behavior with how his father mistreated, physically abused and bullied him for being gay, anymore than a road can be blamed for a car speeding, instead of the driver. James has to accept responsibility for his own life - and own his mistakes and bad behavior - to be able to change for the better.
But him being a psychopath, getting him to realize as much would not have been easy - so yes, professional help would be required. Helping him to shed his current self-destructive self in favor of the person he could become with the right motivation and attitude.
Marnie looks so tired:(
I wonder what John Paul would say if he was in this intervention. 🤔🤔
i miss John Paul and James together
@@codyrogers9582 Me too!
Attempting an intervention with a psychopath is not the best approach. James is so obsessed with control and appearances - and he enjoys playing mind games and winning over people who not even are aware they were competing - that such an attempt at stealing control away from him, as an intervention is, could never have gone well. James knew the best way to win back control was by attack. That was why he taunted them the way he did, causing them pain and making them feel vulnerable - cause then he felt powerful.
It is also incorrect to excuse James` behavior with how his father mistreated and physically abused and bullied him for being gay. Same way as it is the driver, and not the road, to blame if a car is speeding, same way James - and James alone - is responsible for how he behaves and acts. But no one can tell James this, cause being a psychopath he will see it as an attempt to take control and power away from him, and he will be as ruthless and cruel as he was with Marnie, Juliet and Romeo here.
So even though James` own life, and the lives of his mother, sister and son would have improved massively if he treated people with more kindness and respect, it is to no avail to say so to him directly. He either has to realize as much by himself, or be lead into realize as much by a professional therapist or psychologist with experience in working with psychopaths. Psychopaths can never be cured, but they can be made to realize the advantages of changing their motivations and attitudes towards others, and be more respectful and kind.
Ideally the intervention should have gone like this: Marnie, Romeo and Juliet are standing together as a group when James enter. They don`t say a word at first, but waits for James to take the initiative. Whether he cracks a joke about them pretending to be the Three Stooges, the Sugarbabes or something, or if he just ask them "What?" doesn`t matter. By letting James speak first they are maintaining his feeling of being in control. And then one of them should have spoken for all of them, instead of them ganging up on him. Say it was Marnie. What she should have said was this: "James, we know you are hurting, and that this is awful for you. We want to help you - but unless you tell us how, we have no idea how to."
After that James would either have left, or he would have talked to them. Either way they shouldn`t have talked before he had talked to them, and they should have allowed him to control the conversation by listening and asking question - never to say anything which made him feel to lose the control and the initiative.
Whether he would have talked to them immediately, or he would have gone for a walk first - he would have talked to them that night, cause James loves the sound of his own voice - and that is how they would have been able to reach him. By listening and asking questions, so he felt to be in control of it all. But everything about being worried about him, and for him to listen for a change they should never have said. Worry signals some kind of failure on his part (psychopaths does not like to think of themselves as failures), and by telling him it was time for him to listen, they took his control and power away (and power and control is what psychopaths most enjoy in life).
They're too soft on him and that's why he keeps doing all this terrible stuff,it's just like a baby if you don't tell them off on their wrongs them they're going to keep doing wrong stuff
@@jordanpoyant8557 I would say it is exactly the opposite. He reacts as he does because they are being too direct and confrontational with him. Had they been less confrontational, he would not have felt provoked into attacking them, and they would have had a greater chance of reaching him, since he would have felt more in control, and thus would have trusted them more. And it is not a good idea to be strict with babies. They are too young to understand anyway, so any change in behavior is brought from sheer fear, not because they have learned anything.
@@Tvjunkieful12 but all together the need to stop mentioning Mac as James will see that as a threat
@@jordanpoyant8557 I would agree they should stop mentioning Mac as the cause of James' behavior and acts, but not because James sees him as threat, more because otherwise they are not allowing James to take responsibility for his own live and acts.
@@Tvjunkieful12 yeah I deffo do agree,James always self Pitys himself but never takes responsibility,he's a 30 year old man,his abuse can't be an excuse for everything he's done,he's ruined lifes,now he needs to take responsibility
I feel james on the wine, its needed.
barbie_shadow What do you mean? 😕
@@ChelseyLinden u gotta know how it feels to be arrested have your love of your life killed and be accused if it was me I need a drink too much is going on. Hell naw
The wine, the rent boys etc, doesn`t do him any good. What he needs to do is to face what has happened head on. Allow in help and support from the people around him - and that way get through the ordeal. Sedating himself with wine and distractions doesn`t fix anything. If anything it not only delays the grief and misery, but could even increase them, if his drinking interfered with his work and his ability to pay his bills. By allowing himself to drink and more because he feels sorry for himself, he gives himself an excuse to disengage from every day life and the people who care for, and need, him.
@@Tvjunkieful12 right everyone handles situations differently but the truth will come out and he will be happier
@@barbie_shadow3326 The problem is more James' own personality (his needs for power and control, causing him to be both cruel and ruthless), than Harry's death. James needs to accept full responsibility for his attitude and actions - not allow himself to excuse them because of the background with his father.