Amen 🙏🏻 Thanks very much for this! Most avoidant videos on RUclips are about trying to get secured people to understand how avoidants operate and how to work with them. You’re like the voice everyone should play after going through a split with an avoidant. What a shocking and traumatizing experience to be with those who only thinks about themselves, especially for us who have had healthy relationships and supportive inner circle. Appreciate the understanding!
this is exactly, EXACTLY, what happened to me, exactly. and it hurt like hell too. the discard seemingly came out of nowhere. But she did give me clues in the beginning that her history was like this and i decided to proceed anyway. good video.
My FA gave me a gift everyday leading up to my birthday and the next day said he was done. Left after a 3.5 years relationship living together. He monkey branched to a coworker and moved in with her after 2 days.
That's guilt the gifts... huge red flag. He thinks he was being a good person showering you with crappy gifts and then abandoning you. These people are insane in my opinion 🤡 and such cowards.
I was with mine for 2 yrs. He gave me a gift. The next day was on a dating app. Now has a girlfriend not even a 3 days later... and is soooo in love. I warned her what hes like and she didn't care lol 🤷♀️
This is what happened to me. We were getting along great, had made plans for the future , etc. One minute we were talking on the phone making plans to go out for dinner, and literally the next minute it was over. On top of that he bread crumbled me even after he started dating someone else a few months later and continued to until a month ago.
@jessicahitchens6926 I had only been a widow for a short time when I got involved with him. We had been acquaintances for over 30 years and didn't realize he would be like he was.
There’s overlap between narcissism and avoidance but narcissists will keep people around as a supply while avoidants will shut someone out because they’re overwhelmed.
Yup- ignore them - the rebound (s) fail and they ALWAYS- come back begging. Unfortunately I was raised by a narc their bs doesn’t hurt me --and they run through people like tasting day at Costco and they Never get over me- I’m the one that got away and they always come back -WHY-- no nookie 😂😂😂 I wait ! I’m “old school” at most you can sniff the Vicky secrets…. ALL of the others try to screw him under the table -- they don’t get that I only “open” when HIS heart is on the table….cant use my body to get my head and screw my heart…his heart is MINE - after months he came back begging…. Time slowed when we met and my heart said “that’s my husband” and the fact that he chased for a year and never got into them I “actually” got to his heart…I learned him like his “grand mother” (his safe space that died) I know that man like the back of my hand and THAT is why he ran …. When I saw him - he clung to me like a baby and I rocked him I held him close to my bosom and I said to him “mommy’s baby- you know you deserve love right…?” Him- “I don’t know about that” me: it’s okay mommy’s big baby boy …. I was. Raised by a psychologist and narcissist he is BROKEN and no matter what he does NO ONE CAN EVER REPLACE ME because I KNOW I made him “feel” and he said it “ in my life I have never felt this way about anyone …..” his only choice “marry her” I know him and his “games” don’t work on me … my sense of self is not based on anyone and you can’t “love bomb” someone that’s already full of love… we can “exchange” love and that…. Is how you deal with an avoidant. Self love first and what they give is extra !
I keep, seeing some similarities between the "avoidant and the narcissist". You explain, it so perfect. Life, is full of surprises. The person, am watching this video for has same name with you. 😊 Thank you for sharing.
Wow - thank you - so clearly and precisely explained! And an experience I recently had ~ and am in the midst of healing from. It helps to put "things" into perspective in a way that helps me to more fully heal and grow from it and let it go. 🙏
My ex left after begging for marriage & telling me I’m her person, I’m her soulmate she just needs to be alone and work on herself to be healthy, promised to work on herself to be healthier and us to have a better future.. immediately left stonewalled me said I’m manipulating her by reaching out to see how she’s doing. Little did I know she immediately moved in with a guy 12 years older than us.. It stings like hell even though I knew she was lying her actions never added up and I wanted to fix her. I felt responsible for her well being even still slightly do. She tote be down to bits and I still wanted to help her. Never would’ve quit on her because I gave her my word and took her word. Lies, mind games, emotional unavailability, probably monkey branched.. it all sucks
You just don't do social media... and then you don't know what these losers are up to. Keeping someone on a social media platform or following them is a form of self harm and insane in my opinion. And block them if they keep coming back.
No person on youtube or therapist seeing now cause of break up has helped as much as ur videos. Say things that I'm going through word 4 word and feels good to know not my fault. 2 yrs and he just moved out and dating someone new. We work together, own car together and adopted cats together...he seems fine and I have truly never been such a mess. See a therapist 2xs a week. All hard to make sense of
Thank you Coach Ryan . I text him today after two months and then I started watching your video… break my fingers & keep making great videos like this! I wonder why he had so many exes he was a relatifriends with!
But my ex was with someone prior to me for 10 years and married them. They were bith addicts. She got clean and she left and my ex continued on doing what he was doing. Sodid they stay together for so long because of the addictions
So, it just hit me. In this dynamic, the one who stays single is the healthiest one. Infinite thanks to you for this video 🙏🏼
Amen 🙏🏻 Thanks very much for this! Most avoidant videos on RUclips are about trying to get secured people to understand how avoidants operate and how to work with them. You’re like the voice everyone should play after going through a split with an avoidant. What a shocking and traumatizing experience to be with those who only thinks about themselves, especially for us who have had healthy relationships and supportive inner circle. Appreciate the understanding!
The only time I don’t feen anxiously attached and healthy is when I am single. I will never deal with another avoidance/narc ever again.
this is exactly, EXACTLY, what happened to me, exactly. and it hurt like hell too. the discard seemingly came out of nowhere. But she did give me clues in the beginning that her history was like this and i decided to proceed anyway. good video.
Blues clues. Just making a joke because I have experienced some what the same.
Same here
Exactly the same has happened to me.
I cried for like 14 days now I feel emotion less and kind of don't want them but I still love them
Are you avoidant?
@@DarkCentaur24 no I think my ex is just want to let go of pain now
@@卂-c1d Same here may we find healing😢 We did our best..
Virtual hug ❤️🩹
This was spot on. My heart thanks you.
This hit on every level. Needed this today
My FA gave me a gift everyday leading up to my birthday and the next day said he was done. Left after a 3.5 years relationship living together. He monkey branched to a coworker and moved in with her after 2 days.
That's guilt the gifts... huge red flag. He thinks he was being a good person showering you with crappy gifts and then abandoning you. These people are insane in my opinion 🤡 and such cowards.
@@jessicahitchens6926 It’s heartbreaking. He denies being in another relationship. We’re still in contact because of joint payments.
Scumbags
Happened to me too 🙁 You're not alone.
Thank you for sharing.
I was with mine for 2 yrs. He gave me a gift. The next day was on a dating app. Now has a girlfriend not even a 3 days later... and is soooo in love. I warned her what hes like and she didn't care lol 🤷♀️
This is what happened to me. We were getting along great, had made plans for the future , etc. One minute we were talking on the phone making plans to go out for dinner, and literally the next minute it was over. On top of that he bread crumbled me even after he started dating someone else a few months later and continued to until a month ago.
Why did you allow that treatment? You need to look at yourself and understand why you let people disrespect you.
@jessicahitchens6926 I had only been a widow for a short time when I got involved with him. We had been acquaintances for over 30 years and didn't realize he would be like he was.
Its sounds like Narcissist to me
There’s overlap between narcissism and avoidance but narcissists will keep people around as a supply while avoidants will shut someone out because they’re overwhelmed.
Yup- ignore them - the rebound (s) fail and they ALWAYS- come back begging. Unfortunately I was raised by a narc their bs doesn’t hurt me --and they run through people like tasting day at Costco and they Never get over me- I’m the one that got away and they always come back -WHY-- no nookie 😂😂😂 I wait ! I’m “old school” at most you can sniff the Vicky secrets…. ALL of the others try to screw him under the table -- they don’t get that I only “open” when HIS heart is on the table….cant use my body to get my head and screw my heart…his heart is MINE - after months he came back begging…. Time slowed when we met and my heart said “that’s my husband” and the fact that he chased for a year and never got into them I “actually” got to his heart…I learned him like his “grand mother” (his safe space that died) I know that man like the back of my hand and THAT is why he ran …. When I saw him - he clung to me like a baby and I rocked him I held him close to my bosom and I said to him “mommy’s baby- you know you deserve love right…?” Him- “I don’t know about that” me: it’s okay mommy’s big baby boy …. I was. Raised by a psychologist and narcissist he is BROKEN and no matter what he does NO ONE CAN EVER REPLACE ME because I KNOW I made him “feel” and he said it “ in my life I have never felt this way about anyone …..” his only choice “marry her” I know him and his “games” don’t work on me … my sense of self is not based on anyone and you can’t “love bomb” someone that’s already full of love… we can “exchange” love and that…. Is how you deal with an avoidant. Self love first and what they give is extra !
The avoidant and narcist share many characteristics.
Yes !!
I’m so grateful to have found your content! You describe my relationship issues to a T 🙏💕
I keep, seeing some similarities between the "avoidant and the narcissist". You explain, it so perfect. Life, is full of surprises. The person, am watching this video for has same name with you. 😊 Thank you for sharing.
Wow - thank you - so clearly and precisely explained! And an experience I recently had ~ and am in the midst of healing from. It helps to put "things" into perspective in a way that helps me to more fully heal and grow from it and let it go. 🙏
My ex left after begging for marriage & telling me I’m her person, I’m her soulmate she just needs to be alone and work on herself to be healthy, promised to work on herself to be healthier and us to have a better future.. immediately left stonewalled me said I’m manipulating her by reaching out to see how she’s doing. Little did I know she immediately moved in with a guy 12 years older than us.. It stings like hell even though I knew she was lying her actions never added up and I wanted to fix her. I felt responsible for her well being even still slightly do. She tote be down to bits and I still wanted to help her. Never would’ve quit on her because I gave her my word and took her word. Lies, mind games, emotional unavailability, probably monkey branched.. it all sucks
She did you a favor and will do this to her new man, it's just a matter of time...
I needed to hear this today. Thank you.
Thank you, these videos are so helpful, especially avoidant versus narcissist.
Thank you this helps my recovery
You just don't do social media... and then you don't know what these losers are up to. Keeping someone on a social media platform or following them is a form of self harm and insane in my opinion. And block them if they keep coming back.
Thats works great….until a so called friend sends you their tinder profile….
This video is fantastic… really well explained, compassionate and insightful. Thank you
Excellent video 🎉
Thanks so much for all of your wonderful videos. You explain them really well and helps me to understand my ex.
Thank you. This helped me so much.
Thank you, you are so amazing and sweet for putting thus video out there❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much! 🙏 I really needed to hear that.
No person on youtube or therapist seeing now cause of break up has helped as much as ur videos. Say things that I'm going through word 4 word and feels good to know not my fault. 2 yrs and he just moved out and dating someone new. We work together, own car together and adopted cats together...he seems fine and I have truly never been such a mess. See a therapist 2xs a week. All hard to make sense of
Thank you for the video
so perfectly described!!!!
Thank you Coach Ryan . I text him today after two months and then I started watching your video… break my fingers & keep making great videos like this! I wonder why he had so many exes he was a relatifriends with!
WOW! This is Huge video for me. Thank you So much!
Powerful
Why do they get into relationships at all??? Selfish.
Thanks brotha
Do they on any level ever recognize their problem?
Do they even a tiny bit have regret?
But my ex was with someone prior to me for 10 years and married them. They were bith addicts. She got clean and she left and my ex continued on doing what he was doing. Sodid they stay together for so long because of the addictions
My ex FA didn’t even rebound. He monkey branched!!!!
Right. As soon as he expressed deep feelings, he began to pull away.
Wow
More like addiction than love?
So many people are love addicts.