The Witcher Critique - The Beginning of a Monster
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- Опубликовано: 9 июн 2024
- The first of three videos on The Witcher Series. This is focused on the first game but discusses all three of them, plus some comments on the books and TV series.
/ josephanderson
www.paypal.me/JphAnderson
/ andersonjph
/ jph_anderson
/ discord
Art Credits to
/ nickolaiboulton
/ wuggynaut
Introduction/Prologue - 00:00
Chapter One: Fear The Chipmunk - 22:55
Chapter Two: Welcome To Hotel Vizima - 1:07:17
Chapter Three: Stuck In The Middle With Who? - 1:52:28
Chapter Four: Smoke Over The Water - 2:29:04
Chapter Five: Sympathy For Your Devil - 3:11:10
#TheWitcher #TheWitcherSeries #WitcherCritique 
Игры
Introduction - 00:00
Chapter One: Fear The Chipmunk - 22:55
Chapter Two: Welcome To Hotel Vizima - 1:07:17
Chapter Three: Stuck In The Middle With Who? - 1:52:28
Chapter Four: Smoke Over The Water - 2:29:04
Chapter Five: Sympathy For Your Devil - 3:11:10
Finally!
You need a Witcher.
piss wizards ahoy
Legend
Proud of you
Hate when youtubers milk their videos to get to the 10 minute mark...
i lol'd
😤
When I see that the video is exactly 10 minutes long I just skip.
@@grzegorzswist Same. You just know that the video probably only has 6 or 7min of actual content, and then 3min of filler, repeating themself, forced jokes, or whatever else they throw in to push the to 10:01 mark.
Triggerino Kripperino Issa joke bro. Cuz this video is four hours long 😂
I'm going to greatly enjoy watching this over the course of several years
Hi RT
joseph anderson speedrun
Hi Kevin, it's nice to see you enjoy Joseph too!
Kiss me RT
Hi RT
"If you considered sex a 'fail state' then witcher 1 could be horror game"
That actually is so true, I laughed audibly
I must be dumb… what does he mean by a “fail-state”?
@@Chicken_Inspector Say your goal is to get through the game without triggering a sex scene. If you were to end up getting one, you'd 'fail' reaching your goal. Since it's no game over if that happens, you'd still be in a 'failed state' of the game, meaning you'd have to reload a save or restart the game.
@@runixzan2813 ahhh!!! Gotcha! Thanks
time stamp?
When
I remember believing the full video trilogy would be uploaded within a week or two of this one. Those were the days.
It was a glorious dream we shared.
Hahahaha 😭😭😭😭
waiting for part 3 but time and life has its road and we just gotta keep hoping :)
surely... soon...
yus
Man walking through a wall with a sick ass line “i knew we’d meet again” isn’t a bug, it’s a power move
The only way to effectively assert dominance over a witcher is a greater display of eurojank
2:28:16
@Shaman Xeed One of the most hilarious things I've read in a RUclips comment. Thank you very much for this
gaunter odimm only enemy
@Shaman Xeed i shouldn't expect good game taste from someone who's channel consist of themselves shitting on great games.
baller move: "i had more fun reading the books than playing the games"
Hello Mark Brown guy
Here's one: "I dont care that Sekiro wasn't accessible"
Tekno Pathetic
Lmao
@Henrik K Who has the balls to do such a thing
@Henrik K really I gotta see that - who was
Can't wait to see his Witcher 1 remake critique in 10 years
Ha! Jokes on you! Im from the future... 50 years in the future!
Just here to confirm that we got Witcher 3 critique part 1/6 today.
It will drop before the Witcher 3 vid
When I first heard it, I honestly thought a "witcher" was somebody who hunts witches. Like a fisher 😅
Honestly, i thought the same thing XD
.Fisher,
a large brown marten valued for its fur, found in North American woodland where it frequently preys on porcupines.
Thought it too, and honestly still feel that's the intention in the series. Witches don't have mutation or the skill, and Cirilla says she's a witcher. Not witch
Well, that's somewhat accurate, with the distinction that Geralt hunts witches to bed.
i mean it kinda still is
Remember 4 years ago, when Joe apologized for the length of his 30 minute videos?
In 2035 Joe will release a week long review of the 7 year old game Witcher Souls Origins and not apologize for the video length, calling it now.
@@aslakgurnirsson1685 he'll apologize for it being shorter than normal
Oh yeah, just about at the start of this video
2055: Joseph Anderson, in the later years of his life, develops the worlds first fully functional AI that is programmed to come up with new observations faster than it can say them so he can use it to make a stream that talks about the witcher games for all eternity
@@bentleykennedy-stone673 lol
"Witcher 1 is like watching a 3 year old climb to the top of a fridge"
Sounds like there's trouble afoot at the Anderson household...
I promise you, it's not just his lol
Winds howling
@@EvaHoshizora Omg you have kids too? Me too! I just love my kids, aren't they the greatest? Look:
*Smashes pictures of kids into your face repeatedly and hard enough to draw blood Family Guy style*
@@fredspofford I don't have kids (yet, sadly) - just help taking care of my cousin and my friends that have kids are telling me some horror stories lol
Unless you count cats as children, then I have two little devils that I love.
@@EvaHoshizora No pls dont have children www.reddit.com/r/collapse/comments/fw7cf2/people_think_theres_going_to_be_a_future_and_i/
The Order + Scoia'tael conga line in chapter 5 was the funniest part of the whole game for me. The elves stroll in, having decided that war crimes just gotta be committed here. Then, not 30 seconds later, the Order, not to be one upped, kick the door in and decide they're gonna show the filthy non-humans how to really murder defenseless, wounded non-combatants.
HUMANS NUMBER ONE!
@@windwaker105 more like WARCRIMES NUMBER ONE
lol
Kinda wild though how most of human/elf history was the elves trying desperately to do all they could to AVOID war at all costs.
@@MegaZetawas it though? Almost every single time, it’s the elves who go on the offensive and then once they are (predictably) obliterated the persecutions and pogroms follow.
I watched this near the end of freshman year. Now I’m graduating in less than a month. And there still isn’t a Witcher 3 video.
I remember watching this at the end of junior year. Since then I've finished high school, taken a year off, moved to a new country, and finished my first year of University. Still no Witcher 3
I finished my Bachelor and my Master since this video was first published. Still no Witcher 3.
We're in the same boat
"I lost control over the scope of this project."
- Joseph "Time Genocider" Anderson
Joseph "Chronocide" Anderson
Joseph 'I may have gone too far in a few places' Anderson
Joe is Jaque is Alvin, the time traveler confirmer
"this video took 5000 hours to make"
*disables adblock*
He deserves the ad revenue
you are a good person
*keeps adblock on*
Shaman Xeed lol. feel free to pay his pantreon double to undo the terrible misjustice that is not watching advertisements because you’re smart enough to install an adblocker and avoid the constant headache.
Or you know go donate on patreon
1:48:23 Pity on the Kitty
2:14:47 Break the Werewolf Spell
3:40:04 More Fun than a Banquet
I guess those are the fake ones he mentioned in the Witcher 2 video xD
OH MAN, after the announcement of the remake I came back to search for the PITTY ON THE KITTY, thanks for putting this time stamp, AMEN
Where’s the bar one? Where he does the funny voice and mimics the the dudes asking for a drink or whatever lmao
@@Gokuu_Black 3:20:20 mimicking the brawler line _"We fight for money!"_ and then breaking down chuckling.
@@dividewalker5673 thank you thank you thank you I needed this
the suspects introduction around 1:21:30 is so fucking funny the effort is very much appreciated
It literally cracked me up so heavily, i had to rewind
For those interested: no, you can't actually have sex with granny, werewolf or the stryga. These were jokes and the cards were drawn by @Wuggynaut
What a shame, I fell from my chair laughing at grannys card...
Someone should add them in the wikia of the witcher game
I.... fell for them hook, line and sinker :D
i got fucking jebaited
I completely bought that those were really in the game, holy crap
I expected this to be a critique of all 3 Witchers, but nearly 3 hours in, I've realized this is only about the first Witcher.
Now imagine what three will be like.
@@theshambler6814 8 hours I believe lmao
I'm glad he is doing all three, because I read the books and watched the Netflix version, but did not have a desire to play Witcher 1+2.
I haven't played Witcher 3 yet (it's on the steam backlog) but I would really like to. I need to play it before his last video comes out.
Donkringel Why don’t you wanna play the first 2?
@@roryfehring1045 well I cant speak for him but personally the first 2 appear to be very different games from each other and the witcher 3 all be it in the same trilogy
That scene where you read the excerpt and how the scene matched more or less perfectly with the description was actually damn cool
time stamp?
@@ianpatrickclarksr4074 Uh, I am not gonna search through the whole video now, but you can search for it, somebody has took that clip and posted it separately where this guy reads the excerpt in perfect sync with the cutscene
3:31:42
dude, just want you to know that I’ve watched this and the Witcher 2 analysis about three times each since I found them a year ago. They are like my comfort food. Thank you for allowing me to escape reality with a wonderful and immersive analysis of an even worse reality :)))
These videos are probably the best RUclips videos I've seen. The quality is Joseph's writing is impressive. No other long form content and video game analysis compares
Im currently watching it for the 5th time.
@@flarebear5346 Noah Caldwell Gervais is good, I'd recommend his vids if you're ever interested in a good time
I find myself coming back and re-watching these videos all the time
@@BKSF1 Your Noah Caldwell recommendation has changed my life fr
Where's the "I was here when Joseph Anderson released the Witcher critique" t-shirts???
I mean everyone was in quarantine anyway...
Behind the "I upvoted/downvoted without watching" tshirts
Nacho Bear it’s finally here!!!
I'm replying to your comment just so there is some proof that I was here when it released..
Yeeeeah boi
"If sex is used as a fail state, then The Witcher 1 can be played as a horror game."
Holy shit some of your lines in this are absolutely golden.
Real life would be easymode for that game
Not as good as the twin swords of facts and logic of Twitter centrists who go after both sides.
I mean, *that is* a joke paraphrased from the video itself
@@thatromanfella8377 dude I just quoted the video so please chill. The phrase is used when talking about part 4 somwhere past the three hour mark. Sorry if I offended you.
@@TheCivildecay Wow I feel sorry for you. Like do you not live in a country where Prostetution is legal or whats your deal?
It's my 4th time watching this video over 3 years, and I'm just now realizing that Alvin is the chipmunk who is to be feared. Masterpiece, Joe.
same here hahaha
"Trust me, Joseph Anderson's channel gets really good after the 9-month introductory sequence!"
Andrew Cunningham Joseph should pin this comment
Thank you, Andrew Cunningham
9/11 likes, I don't want to ruin it.
Jesus Christ no kidding, two plus minutes of garbage about the video's length and I'm already out.
@「INTAHNETTO」 wut
*scratches wrist
"You got any of that Witcher 2?"
I mean yeah man. I keep returning to this video waiting for my fix!
i've literally been checking the channel every day since the first vid released ^^
Right! It’s been 2 months 😖
Amazing 😂 I totally agree
He’s working on closed captions for it right now. He may or may not be translating it to different languages I’m not sure. He mentioned it on Twitter
I love how you can just sense game engines from how they look, feel, sound; it's so easy to tell. I've never played Witcher 1 but from footage it really reminded me of KOTOR, only to find out it's on the same engine.
Source Engine is the best example, I think - it's just got such a unique look and feel, that it can't be mistaken for anything else lmao
happy 4 years to this video
Obligatory “Joseph Anderson stretching to hit that 10 minute mark” comment
he could've stretched to hit that 4h20m mark imo
He stretched the vid to hit the 10 min mark... 25 times...
He does it every single video, doesn't even try to hide it.
If he stretched this video like some youtubers do (interruptions with music and stock images in middle of sentences, repeating, long intro, begging for subs) it would be 10 hour long
.
"First of 3 videos"
*looks at duration*
oh boy this is going to be a wild ride
Marco and watching them can kinda be called a Wild Huuuuuuuunt, ei? Eeeeeeeeeeeei? I’m sorry
a wild hunt*
IT'S HAPPENING!!!
I actually managed to kill Javed before he could get Berengar, but then Berengar just stood there awkwardly. When I talked to him he only says one line that amounts to. “Sorry for taking so long, I had to make up my mind.”
Another analytical note: the ending is a mirror to the final mission from Witcher 3 (battling toward tower towards a child of time and space). After playing through all 3 games in order I couldn’t help but think of Alvin... and how with Ciri, Geralt was going to make things right where he failed the little guy- preventing the White Frost and being the father he could be.
Witcher 3 brings it full circle by giving you the chance to do right what you got wrong in Witcher 1.
It's so sweet of you to say that! Many people have said that they didn't feel anything towards Alvin in the 1st game and that he was just an annoying nuisance at best. For me it was the opposite (maybe bc I'm a woman with a strong maternal "instinct") and I felt so bad that no matter what we choose, that sweet boy is lost to us :( Thanks for making me feel less alone in this!
Crazy, but after watching this, I think Geralt might be a Witcher.
Hmm, not too sure. Just finished part 2, and it still seems like a stretch...
...We need more data, methinks
Yer a Witcher, Geralt.
Not bad.
What? A witcher? I dunno man seems a little far fetched.
@@Silvanfan Definitely could see Zoltan telling Geralt LOL
This coming out feels like an event, and that is a very rare thing on RUclips. Congrats on this behemoth, and brb in 4 hours.
Casual Raz
Hi Raz! How are you doing? Hope you and the lady Tha lives with you are doing fine!
love how my favorite creator is in the comments of my other favorite. and yes I can have two favorites, I shouldn't have to choose between the two of you
@@blibbers8843 "If I have to choose between one *favorite creator* or another, then I'd rather not choose at all."
What writing a 4 hour review is like for someone who doesn't write reviews when
Your explanation of the ending was so god-damned powerful it almost made me emotional for Alvin for real, damn!
"It takes dh'oine to know dh'oine" killed me, thanks for that
"Think they'll notice if I just read an entire chapter of the book verbatim?"
"At 3 hours in? No chance."
The first hour of the video made me want to play the trilogy, after the second hour I was determined to read all books and by the 4th hour I nauczę się polskiego i nigdy więcej nie będę mówić w innym języku.
its spreading
Oh cool, he’s been possessed
You get the best comment award sir
Lmao you win
I'd love to know what he says. But the youtube auto-translate that usually works well, just removes that section outright.
I just realized that my fight with Azar Javed was absolutely buggy: Berengar showed up, we had the pre fight talk and then we basically stomped Javed within a couple of seconds. I was pretty buffed with runes and potions, but still surprised how easy the fight was. Afterwards I was disappointed there was no additional dialogue with Berengar after the fight, now I know why.
I hope he is happy somewhere in the bug dimension.
It's not a bug, you can stomp him without Berengar dying if you're buffed up enough, even on hard difficulty. It's just that the game doesn't really account for it in a meaningful way
2:15 "the other videos that I've already finished on Witcher 2 and 3 which will soon be released"
I struggle to write an essay over three pages and this man's tossing out multiple 4-hour scripts
blahokay1 you can try adderall or weed, it helps you to spin out multiple ideas from every sentence of your reading material.
froot that’s not true. Weed can calm and relax your mind to the point where you are able to connect multiple thoughts and past experiences together, and it also makes you excited about what you read which pushes you even further to invest your intellect. Adderall can give you confidence in what you are thinking about which acts like a catalyst for intellectual output. But also you can use those drugs to get high and be dumb, is the latter experience more relatable?
froot that was just my experience when I was in university.
find stuff you care about. a lot easier to write about it if you’re invested in learning about it.
Barta Bhaus drugs don’t work the same for everyone.
46:45 "But as always, we need to ask ourselves: What about Shrek?"
Ah yes, the classic line in literature classes everywhere
He got that from super bunnyhop I believe
@@Seppevh No i think it's Vaush. From the joker ish most important movie of year rebottle.
@@marekwygnany924 Nah bunnyhop's witcher videos came out years before that guy even made his first video.
quattrocentobotte
I think Shreck is pretty over rated.
Why sherk is remembered: funny looking character, but good story.
@@RedVelvetBlackleather also good use of pop music to help drive the story.
“I learned Polish to read the originals in the original language.”
Dude, massive respect, I’m trying to do that with Italian for the Divine Comedy and it’s no small order to learn a new language
Edit: if that was the lie…
Well then, good luck! I think your task may be a bit more difficult since Dante and modern Italian do not translate 100%, but have fun reading the Divine Comedy!
I’m pretty sure the lie he was referring to is when he said the game’s ending is bad, so poorly received, and then criticizes introducing Jacques so late in the game as the worst bit of storytelling we’ve seen so far.
Then he spammed the screen with all the comments about Jacques and Alvin being the same person.
At that point, he talks about why he lied and then talks about how brilliant the ending of the game actually is.
He’s probably correct about most people missing that connection initially since the connection is not overtly stated but rather hinted at and suggested.
There’s no reason to believe he lied about learning Polish to read the books in the original language.
@@laurent5176 in the video he did on Witcher 2, he said he filled this video with lies, 1) because so few have played it and wouldn’t know better, but also 2) because the game itself lies to you through its so-many-unreliable characters. But my guess in particular was because (as someone who hasn’t played it before) right near the beginning he basically said he told 2 truths and a lie, and i was impressed about the language learned as a possible way to reinforce his own appreciation for the game, which i still think is cool… if it isn’t the lie. But because he said there were so many lies in the game and (playfully) in his video, it’s hard to know what’s actually true. So few people would learn a full language just to understand a hobby better
@@ArchetypeGotoh At 2:18:10 He lied about being torn between two sorceresses. And then there’s the whole lie about the ending. I’m sure there are a bunch of others sprinkled through, but I’m pretty sure that he points out the intentional inaccuracies within a few minutes of making the joke (which is what I would call them, rather than lies.) And it seems like he sprinkles them through his video as bait for comments.
That’s why I personally don’t think he’d lie about something like learning a new language to read the books: there’s nothing about that that could be considered funny. And there’s also no way that any of the viewers could ‘correct’ the error in his comments.
You’re right that few people would go out to learn a new language just to read books in the original language; but then again, there are fans that are so dedicated to their favorite TV show/game/books/movies/comics, that they go out and learn *fake* languages, like Klingon or Quenya and Sindarin (Tolkien’s Elvish languages.) So, I still don’t think that he was lying about learning Polish.
Either way, I think it’s pretty cool that you’re looking to learn Italian to read Dante. Good luck, and have a great weekend.
@@laurent5176 if he had learned Polish, he would not have gone on how Witcher was a weird word, and simply explained the reason for it being like it is.
While it is the first Joe's video I ever watched, it surprises me that I must have watched it soon after it came out. Let me just say, that since that I have... grew "familiar" with Joseph. But 4 years later I realize that I didn't ever comment on it. And while it is going to be a comment #15,000, I will write it regardless, because well, The Witcher.
I had have the pleasure of reading the Witcher books basically about the time they were released (in Polish, in the 90s). I was a voracious reader back then, and because there were always new books it was basically unheard of for me to read a book twice. And yet since first I read through the stories + the saga, reading Witcher was a cyclic event for me. For some people reading LotR or Harry Potter was "life changing experience", for me it was The Witcher.
I played W1 game through multiple times. First when it came out (I still have the original box somewhere), and then few more times with various upgrades.
I love it very much, and when I think about the times it came out - basically a year after NWN2 (as it was based on same engine) - it is indeed pretty insane how forward-thinking and impressive this game is. Though I have always shat on it - not because it's actually bad, but because of the expectations. I think the fear of letting down all the book fans back then, including probably all of the game authors, was what led them to really go above and beyond what the budget should have allowed them to do.
EDIT: Chapter IV is very... Polish. Furthermore, it is inspired, no, it's taken straight from the Romantic period in Polish literature and wider culture. The "Chłopomania" (lit. Peasant-obsession) was a strong current in all avenues of art, and the story of jealous sister etc. is taken near-literally from "Balladyna", a play by poet named Slowacki (Juliusz, or Julian, like the groom). If you're from a different culture, and you felt this fairy-tale/folklore energy from Chapter IV, then let me just say that to me it was like getting hit with a full flour sack, it hit so strongly.
EDIT2: I feel like Sapkowski wrote the "Witcher Schools" inspired by the Cold War he grew in (on the Soviet side of the Iron Curtain no less). Around late XIX and early XX century the militaries realised, that average people aren't really all that eager to shoot each other - most soldiers fired with eyes closed, or purposefully off-target, to not be accused of refusal to fight, but unwilling to kill left and right. Hence the rise of psychology, the rise of modern soldier training. Strip them of humanity and make into a perfect killing machine. The Witchers in the time of books/games are like soldiers after a war - made into killers and with no path back, their mission mostly over, and their presence unwelcome by non-soldiers...
EDIT3: The combat. The Striga fight. Eh... I do feel like Witcher series could either have went into full action combat, but it was 2-3 years before even Demon Souls came out - there wasn't yet a good design for it, not many, if any, good implementations of such combat. In 2006 we had Dark Messiah (of M&M), which had really good combat system, better than anything Elder Scrolls ever did, but it was very much oriented for a 1st person use and based on umm Source(?) engine? There was Oblivion, and there were some brawlers.
An alternative to souls-like combat, which literally wasn't really invented back then, they could have went with a dual system, split between "horde mode", where Witcher outclasses enemies - probably similar to the existing system, a rhythm/reaction based one, and a "duel system" for essentially bosses, that could be more dedicated to replicating the acrobatics, theatrics and tactical approach from the books.
But. I remember when W1 was still in development. We, gamers, couldn't believe our eyes what kind of visuals and gameplay elements CDPR managed to get out of Aurora engine. At that time we kinda all knew this engine, just like most people know about Bethesda's Creation Engine or Unreal. It was an engine for a mostly top-down, turn-based RPGs with massive GUI full of taskbars. And they made something that looked better than anything else on Aurora, but also having an "3D action open world" freedom reminiscent of the then-king of this kind of games: Gothic 2 :D
EDIT4: The City of Ys is not a cut content imho, but it's literally based on "vibes". I have in mind one of the short stories, the one with the cute blond bard(ess?). There are water people and underwater city (in obvious nod/retelling of Lovecraft's stuff), and the overarching message is: there will be things on this world that you have no hope of seeing and interacting with forever, or at least for a long, long time - just as we are still barely scratching the umm surface? when exploring the oceans of Earth, but we have photographed every square inch of the Moon.
I didn't really intend to watch this in one sitting, but here we are.
too much free time right now, usually I would never casually watch an 4 hour video, but times are weird :D and its an amazing video about an amazing game, so that is helping :D
I didn't really intend to donate to the patreon but that pun was great.
@@magmakojote1663 Haha right, same here.. I would never casually watch an 4 hour video... never...
Oddly this was the only one of his videos I didn't watch in one sitting.
1:26
"I learned polish to reread the books to in their native language"
*on the screen*
Storyteller: that is the lie
I see what you did there
Didn't even notice that detail, but I figured that was the lie because learning a language is really, really hard
@@123phi123 specially polish, its literal hell
@Shaman Xeed low quality bait
Butt Naked Gamer I doubt it's for bait. Had a look at his channel and he's just a sad boi making stuff about things he hate rather than what he likes. Also a weeb.. So yea XD
If he did learn Polish to read the books, he would have used Polish as the in game language. I prefer the Polish voices over the English voices.
Its officially been 2 years since this video. He's going to drop the Witcher 3 video today. I can feel it.
3 years now, damn :(
4 years, you cant make this up...
Nah
Close but no cigar
Ah yes Elden Ring also known as Witcher 3
So close
no
In my first playthrough, I told Alvin to become a knight rather than a Witcher. Then after finding the amulet after killing Jauques I was RUINED. My mind was blown and I was devastated 😅😂
I'm still flabbergasted that Joseph apparently finished the game five times yet completely missed the Alvin/Grand Master connection
@DrMcFly you haven’t seen the full video, have you? Watch till the end!
@@DunedainRanger461 umm... "woosh" and all that
@DrMcFly28 You say that yet there is nothing even in relation to a joke in your first comment, whoosh would be better used on you the first time your parents explained what a joke is since you've clearly missed the point.
"first of three"
hilarious
"that will soon be released" is the kicker for me
I am deeply sad every time i come back to this video. His series is so special!
"Triss is back" *Shows Triss' back*. I love touches like this.
I love Triss' back.
"Morally ambiguous world"
Briefly shows footage from untitled goose game.
Quality shitposting here.
He originally planned to put more footage of that game in the video, but I guess it's cut content now
@@Rawyr Release the Anderson cut!!!
I’ve graduated from college and had two kids since this video dropped. Love all your videos!
Happy three years of waiting for the Witcher 3 video everybody!
),;
yay
Joseph - "the third video will be the longest and the second will be about 5 hours long".
We're in for a ride boys
Well, while you've got an hour, be sure to check out the criminally underrated Nth Review: ruclips.net/video/vCjWhIMV_4A/видео.html
Hell yes
I can't tell you how excited I am. I've been checking back daily to see if the new ones are up yet. I have probably watched this video 4 times, in bits and pieces. This guy has a talent for this.
game of thrones who?
I’m excited
46:38 "but as always, we have to ask ourselves -- What about Shrek?"
man, I ask this question every single day...
This is the evidence that it doesn't matter how long a video has to be "catchy" for people. This video has passion, thought, research, and dedication, and it just feels human, even though it is still being edited (which means this could've been much more than 4 h.), it has imperfection, not answered questions, acceptance of multiple perspectives. Thank you so much for this.
I just wanted to come here to say, I’ve never played this game and have seen this video in different chunks once or twice, but I probably think of that “I dislike it here…”voice line almost every single day. I love it
«There’s gonna be a few weeks between this video and the witcher 2 video»
- Joseph Anderson 2020
rip
lmao four months later.
"It took longer than expected"
- Joseph Anderson 2023
He just tweeted its going up this sunday, 2nd of August i believe!
Sam Poole holy shit!!!
2:26:27 "Geralt is surprised when a character named Con Artist tricks him" I spilled my coffee, thanks Joseph
Starting my 9th rewatch. Please upload another video
Yoohoo... We foight for money!🗣🗣🔊🔊
I love how zoltan looks like a squashed dumpling in the first game
the artist that created that model should go back to making swords.
@@just1it1moko Sword of Dumplings reference?
ahahahah
I'm sad this isn't how he always looks.
"The other two videos are already finished and will soon be released"
One year later and we still only have one of the two. Oh Joe, never change.
wasn't there stuff about re-editing due to changes in opinion and references to cyberpunk and whatnot
Yeah he said at the start of this year that he was pretty much ready to finish the editing on three but then Cyberpunk dropped and he would feel weird not talking about it as part of his review.
@@maxhornby6592 Thanks for the info. I was so confused as to why he said Witcher 3 was mostly done yet it’d been an entire year since he said that. That being said, he doesn’t need to compare them to Cyberpunk at all, IMO. It’s a Witcher games analysis, not a CDPR anthology retrospective, & could dilute the overall work a bit.
he also had like two more kids in the meantime
@@Trymr he is making a cyberpunk video. It's probably going to be longer then an hour because it's Joe, so yeah, we are going to wait quite a while
I still remember when I was young, finding this gem of a series. I had a head full of dreams and steady hands to long for them. Now I grew weary, my hair was earthen, turned cloudy, and became white as summer snow.
The firm grip of time made my once soft skin turn to wrinkled parchment, my eyes clear as day as misty as a springs morning.
My once sharp mind is now as blunt as a rusted blade, tangled like the seaweeds in my hometown.
And yet did my ears not hear the introduction of part three nor did my eyes once again fill with light, as I recalled my first playthrough or the first read of the miraculous books.
Now I'm old, and every move I make, I can hear deaths steps behind, closing the distance. I'm a done man and the long stillness holds nothing to fear for me.
I only hope that one day my kin may have another wonder to behold, another fabulous tale to witness, about the Witcher, the sorceress and the child of Hen Ichaer.
I’ve come back to this video a few times since its release always being very entertaining when I decide to give it a watch again
The most impressive part of this video is the fact that after over 4 hours of footage to edit you still managed to sneak in a ton of visual gags and jokes.
5000 hours man. Joe takes his job seriously and he'll always have my respect for that
I want a video compiling all of them, especially because he literally hides some of them in corners of the video, but I fear that video itself would be 4 hours long
wait....?
useless!?!?!
ITS NOT HIMM
"Just like twitter, everyone is awful here."
Yes.
i was about to say that this sentence is my favourite one in this whole video and i found your comment :)
This is my safe video. Whenever I feel bad, anxious or just need something comforting, I am watching this. Several times since the upload. Thank you.
,,I learned Polish..."
You did what.
Edit: please stop explaining its a lie
i already know
I’m still not sure if that’s the lie or not 😂😂
@@DesTr069 if it isnt a lie im impressed
Lmao same
Since he subtitled the whole damn 4hr video with Polish captions, i think hes false
@@sushantheshreztha8777 i dont watch videos with subtitles so i didnt know but if thats the case props to him
The names from the wedding quest in the fourth chapter, as well as the quest itself are actually references to classic Polish literature.
"Balladyna" tragedy play is about titular Balladyna - a young woman, who goes on a raspberry gathering competition together with her sister, Alina, in order to decide which one is going to marry a prince (a ghost of the lake and various legendary and supernatural factors come into play as well here, just FYI). Alina actually wins the competition, but Balladyna, jealous of her sister, decides to murder her, which later plays into the whole tragedy.
With the names rhyming like that, Alina and Celina sound like a clear reference to that, as well as the raspberry bush located on the map. Also, the author of that play was Juliusz (Julius) Słowacki, and together with Adam Mickiewicz (whose poetry is referenced in said quest IIRC) they are two of the three most famous and celebrated Polish poets.
Not surprised you didn't pick up on that, there are probably really few people outside of Poland who did.
PS: As a BTW, "Raspberry" in Polish is called "Malina", so yeah :D
If anyone is further interested, here's a synopsis:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balladyna_(drama)
Also, the reference is further reinforced by the two girls' characters - IIRC, Alina in the play was the innocent, sweet one, while Balladyna was more cynical and pragmatic, which would fit the girls' personalities in the game.
EDIT: So I couldn't lay it to rest (pun unintended xD) and actually looked for that poem that Dandelion "writes": In Polish, those are actually first three stanzas of Mickiewicz's poem "Upiór" (Wraith). Just wanted to make sure, so I thought I'd share. Fun fact: Słowacki (author of "Balladyna") and Mickiewicz are known to not really get along, and they had this sort of rivalry, where they tried to sometimes one up each other through their poetry, poking fun at the other poet.
There are quite a few references like these to Polish literature in both the games and books, though I wouldn't possibly be able to name them all at this point... One that comes to my mind was from the books with the "Adieu's Free Company Song", which references this, only with changed lyrics:
ruclips.net/video/6R9Q1V0OROU/видео.html
Where in the book, the mercenaries are singing that "Never will they be roped into pacts, and only money will they serve", the original was the opposite:
Never shall we enter alliances with kings
Never shall we bend our necks before power
For in Christ's service we are fulfilling orders
Servants of Mary!
Another one is pretty much the entirety of "Hearts of Stone", but there's so much, it would probably be easier for you to find some compilation list or something. That whole DLC is VERY heavily inspired by Polish folklore and literature.
Fascinating...
In Bulgarian too - "Raspberry" = "Малина" ("Malina") :
translate.google.com/#view=home&op=translate&sl=en&tl=bg&text=Raspberry
Fascinating.
Thanks for sharing!
@@greatgameplayswalkthroughs660 Exactly the same in Russian
Crab-walking when drunk is probably what I remember best from W1 😂
I've watched this video more times this I'd like to admit
I think I'm currently on my 4th or 5th
"If you treated sex as a fail state then Witcher 1 could be a horror game"
I laughed for 5 minutes straight
"Will you take pitty on the kitty?"
@Charlie Botterell it keeps getting weirder, you'll meet random characters for a single sidequest and bang them after 2 minutes of dialogue hahaha
@Madeleine L ah yes the "lie back and think of England" methof
as an asexual, it truly was a fail to look at something weird i don’t get not once, but twice...
@@paranira6466 since asexuals make up maybe 1% of the population, I dont see the addition of sex in a story driven game a "fail" you are just out of the norm. Not a bad thing, no shame intended.
Man, what a super-dense video. So many little details and jokes and by-the-ways, it's very clear you spent a lot of time working on this. Congrats on finally being able to put it out there!
Can we expect some fan-art based on it?
I was just thinking randomly, "Gee, I wonder if the other 2 Witcher videos came out from JA."
The fact that this came out 3 years ago is INSANE!!!!! I don't mind that he never released them, but it's amazing how time flies.
Apparently it'll be out by the end of the year
He did release a vid on Witcher 2. Not three though😔
Alina and Celina must be a reference to the old classic Polish book "Balladyna" from the 18th century.
It's about two peasant sisters: Balladyna and Alina, whose house is accidentally visited by a prince. The prince offers them a race in collecting raspberries - the one who collected a full basket first was supposed to marry him. Balladyna killed Alina in the forrest, took her raspberries, and won. Her forehead was then marked with an unremovable raspberry/blood-colored dot, as a reminder that she killed her sister. She got the mark from Goplana, the lady of the lake, who is a sort of an observer-meddler in the background of the book's story.
At least that's how the book starts :)
Hence the raspberry bushes where the quest takes place ;)
Cool 😮
But how does it end?
@@nofuckingtrolllzzz Balladyna hid her mark behind a head band and married the prince (Kirkor).
She went to live with him in his castle, taking her mother with her. As the new lady of the castle, she almost immediately started to feel ashamed and disugisted of her non-noble provenience and anything that reminded her of it, including her mother, which she hid from people.
One day, Kirkor had to go to a war with the usurper, Popiel IV, leaving his faithful servant, von Kostryn, to look over the castle. Balladyna still deeply afraid that her secrets might come out, seeks the advice of an old hermit.
This hermit was actually the old king Popiel III in exile, brother of Popiel IV. Kirkor visited him in the begining of the book too, seeking love advice. That's when the hermit told him to marry a simple peasant girl, since she would not cause him as much trouble, as a spoiled rich lady. He also revealed who he really is to Kirkor.
When Balladyna tells him about Alina, he insists they try to bring her back to life, but Balladyna refuses. Listening in on the conversation, von Kostryn also learns the secret.
Balladyna and von Kostryn get involved romantically. In the meantime, Kirkor sent a gift to his wife. The knight that delivered it got into a quarrel with von Kostryn and Balladyna pierced him with a sword, killing him on the spot, and making von Kostyn her accomplice in murder.
Later, during a feast Balladyna disowns her mother and banishes her from the castle, lies once again about being royal. Torn by even bigger guilt and remorse, she sees a ghost of Alina and feints shortly after that.
Kirkor defeated the usurper and promised to return the reign to the true king, Popiel III. Balladyna hired a bunch of knights, who killed her husband before he returned. While celebrating and eating, Balladyna cuts bread with her knife and gives one half to her lover, von Kostryn. She poisoned the knife and, as you may guess, did not eat her half. Von Kostryn did.
Before Balladyna's victorious coronation she was asked to be a judge in a few cases, and in all of them it's her who's at fault: the murder of Alina, the poisoning of von Kostryn, and the mistreatment of a mother.
In all cases, she sentenced whoever is found guilty to death. After her last sentence, Balladyna gets hit by a lightining bolt out of a clear sky and dies instantly.
Oh yeah, I forgot, pretty important:)
Kirkor insisted she stops wearing the headband all the time and finally shows her forehead to him. He said he will wait no more, and she needs to get rid of it by the time he returns from war. That's why she felt more and more panicked as time passed, the bloody mark would reveal her secret, and that's why she hired goons to kill Kirkor before he came back.
@MrAkka00 thanks for telling :😀
Sound like a great story.
Maybe not a bedtime story for kids though 😅
The fact that this entire 4 hour vid doesn’t drag once is just amazing, a credit to your writing ability because it’s both incredibly interesting and sometimes funny all at once
Ehm drags all the time
Petr Sauer different opinions and interests
His humour is bizarre. 90% of the time he delivers it so monotone that it takes me several seconds to realise he was trying to be humorous.
@@meris8486 it's not like he's cracking jokes, he mostly just sneaks in a funny where he can.
These are critiques, after all, and they would be less easy to watch without his bizarre humor
Meris I’m not calling it a comedy, just that the humour (for me) is pretty funny when it shows up and shows up enough to keep your interest
"only one these is a lie by the way"
When he says "I also learned polish", the narration on screen says "Storyteller: This is the lie"
Clever girl...
damn you're so good at catching those tiny, almost imperceptible things
Polish is a nightmare for English speakers to learn, so of course. Beautiful language but super foreign to English speakers.
Thank you for this video! I really enjoyed it. I played the prologue then watched your prologue, then I played Ch1, watched Ch1. Played Ch2, Watched Ch2. Played Ch3-4-5-Epilogue, then re-watched the entire video. The sheer length of this video is what even got me to play the game(s) in the first place.
I've never had a weird reaction to the word "witcher", but then in my area "dowsing" is commonly called "witching" and someone with a talent for it is often called an " witcher." So to me someone like Geralt is simply a "monster witcher" and the word fits without too much stretching.
Me watching this having never played the first game: "Oh look! It's all those characters from the Gwent cards".
Me, having played neither: Look at all these new people!
Sameeee
It's really worth playing tho, even if its pretty old.
@@Sheogorath- yust for the story the gameplay and visuals are terrible
@Blue cigar Gaming He looks much more lore friendly than in third game
2:07:53 “It’s goood that ada doesn’t see it vibrating because she’ll probably wanna use it with geralt”. How are lines like these so consistently spread throughout the video, i appreciate them immensely ❤️
I somewhat disagree with your potion argument, personally in the witcher 3 preparing the proper potions and signs and oils to fight a monster can make a world of difference, sure you can definitely win without them but you do considerably less damage or even have abilities or strengths the monster uses more often because you aren't countering them ( like using aard to stun cockatrices from screeching or yrden to stop ghosts from having damage immunity) taking thunderbolt and using proper oils makes the fight way easier is what im getting at and sometimes makes a lower level geralt able to do a contract he has no buisness doing at his current level
Nah its really not that big of a deal. Even on the hardest mode dude. Maybe for the first couple hours, but after that, its irrelevant. Its just there
@@jonathansoko1085 Have you tried making a potion build? It's honestly pretty powerful
@@jonathansoko1085 Im doing my first ever playthrough right now. Im about 80hours in, playing on death march with ghost mode mod installed and I can say, I would be having a much harder time if I wasnt brewing and using the potions and oils. It feels perfect to me. Kinda like Dark Souls but with checkpoints. Also withcher is easier in the sense that you can just go level up elswhere and become OP if youre having trouble with a contract or whatever. I try not to do that. My first massive test was The Shrieker contract. Tried it a couple of times underlevelled, I just got one shotted, insta killed. I didnt have the correct oil at that stage either so went about finding the ingredients and did a few other quests, levelled up went back, got destroyed again, finally got the oil and matched the level of the shrieker, I think only level 8 at that stage. I went in prepared. I read the bestiary again, learned hes susceptible to Aard. I still died about 30 times as I could still only take two clean hits, 3 or maybe 4 with Quen, but after practice and determination I finally got him using a strategy of only attacking him when he was stunned from Aard, one strong hit then roll. His range was ridiculous and hard to time some of his attacks so dodge wasnt reliable enough, had to roll enough out of his range. Took me ages, finally got him and with it came a sense of elation just like any hard dark souls boss. Its so much better having a programmable checkpoint right at the start too. Apply all the necesary oils and potions and save before engaging so it just saves a lot of repetative annoyance like the Dark Souls sprint to the boss. Gotta say Im really loving this game. Savouring it all, over 80 hours in and still just level 14. I took on a random level 32 wyvern last night guarding a hidden treasure and took him down using the exact same method Id used previously on the shrieker contract. Took about 5 miinutes, was so much fun
@@shanemacbike2 I stopped reading when you said it feels like dark souls. Uh no, and thats where i stop reading your take.
Agreed. This implementation is what makes W3 combat engaging, even though it pretty much boils down to sword slashing and dodging. It seemed like Joseph was hinting at a criticism for W3 with this, but what makes W1 and 3 different, is that in W1 it makes zero difference whether you fight a cockatrice, drowner or 5 bandits. The timing based combat is not varied, and fails to create the illusion that these are different enemies. And while W3 is not "more engaging" with fighting different monsters with different techniques, you can tell that these monsters are completely different based on how you treat them.
Almost three years since this came out. Looking forward to part 3!
Its never coming out. It’s some Half Life 3 level prophecy stuff.
All the lies in the video for people who don't know:
- he didn't learn Polish obviously
- the grandma is not a romance option
- the werewolf is not a romance option
- the striga is obviously not a romance option
From where has he get those romance cards? I have totally believed those romance options were true because of them. They are very very well done.
@@julenexposito6910 He credited the artist on his Twitter. It's Wuggynaut. I was also fooled at first (for the grandma and Werewolf). They are so good!
Nooooooo my hot grandma fantasy is ruined :(((
holy heck!! it's an intricate lies lolol, i mean the artsyle is very believable. i laughed so hard when the striga came out, ahh he got me daarn
Though I wish the first one was true, that would be so cool.
"maybe gonna take a few weeks to take feedback and polish up the 2nd video"
he's doing the thing again where he underestimates how mugh time/work things take lmao
he just wants to give people some time with this video, and he said on twitter he rerecorded some audio and wanted to properly finish up the video.
he hasn’t forgotten! multiple hour long videos just take some time :)
@@7211_
Hopefully he provides some actual analysis and doesn't just provide a plot summary.
@@colin-campbell you honestly think that this whole vid is just a summary? seriously?
LudicrousKid
Well, yes, I’ve watched it and I can’t really find any thoughtful analysis whatsoever. Unless you have evidence on the contrary?
@@colin-campbell bro did we watch the same vid
Cant wait to hear you gush about Novigrad in 10 years
The ending of this game is definitely one of the most impacting ones I've seen. Even now it still marks as much.
I just beat the first Witcher and was agreeing with him on how it felt mediocre for an ending as I completely missed that Alvin was actually the main villain. So many things like the amulet on him and the Alvin illusion having his the different shadow I just wrote off but upon learning this the ending is really great
That's how I felt. Sure, we're not introduced to the grand master until the final act, but once you realize he's Alvin, the end is very impactful. Whether you liked Alvin or not, you remember him as an innocent child who trusted your gideance. A child who's just like Ciri.
@@vanyadolly Tbh, I still wasn't enough to grab me. There was nothing about Alvin that interested me, he was some random child you first met in a weird cutscene, who the game tries to tell you matters, while doing nothing that makes you as a player like or care about him. Something they changed with Ciri, having a lot of scenes with her before ever meeting her, so even those that haven't read the books would care about her. The twist with Alvin is a cool idea, I give you that, but the execution was just bad. Honestly, that is my take on almost everything in Witcher 1: Good ideas, implemented badly (or mediocre at best). But that is a reason I'm excited for the remake, because that gives them a chance to execute on these ideas with more experience, skill and budget.
My guy Joseph Anderson adding a critique of his critique at the end of his critique lol
When i die, i would like to go to a place where Joseph will critique every existing game and movie for me. Forever.
Coincidentally, your Heaven would also be Joseph Anderson's personal Hell!
@@PsychOsmosis haha true
@@PsychOsmosis for it to be his personal Hell every single game should be about collecting moons.
And anime, don’t forget about anime
@@pedromarberger4709 filthy weeb loves it, anime girls would only make it bearable for him.
I heard he will release part 3 when winds of winter comes out
3:05:40 In “lady of the lake” while they’re all waiting out the winter Regis does have a relationship with a succubus who he was very close with throughout the chapter, I think the lady of the night is implied to be that succubus, or at least a placeholder for her. So it would make sense she would know all about Geralt and hear about Regis’ passing
I like the idea that Geralt may not know all the ways in which vampires communicate, or that Regis may not have found an opportunity to tell him every single secret ability that they have. I mean, would you spend time trying to purposefully come up with different things about you to tell your pals, things that might be new to them but not to you? Maybe they just didn't naturally reach a point in their conversations where Geralt asked "So anyway, how's your sex life?"
"The Witcher 2 video is longer than this one. Its about 5 hours." Made me smile ear to ear. Im hyped for your upcoming work. This video could easily be anyones magnum opus and yet its just the beginning.
I hope the third is like 10 hours long, would be a lovely way to pass time during the quarantine
The third one might end up being the longest video on youtube since he did spend 5 times as much time in that game and will also talk about the books in it.
@@alkyycarovny8334 it cant be the longest video on youtube since there are many videos on the maximum length from the past, and at the moment the max length is 12 hours. so you cant get a longest video at the moment since in the past the limit was higher
@@alkyycarovny8334 Look into Breath of the Wild 100% speedruns. Probably the only time I've seen 20-hour videos that aren't just looping memes.
This video was good, but I'd argue that his Zelda and last of us/ uncharted videos where written better. Like he said at the end, writing the video as one big one and then splitting it up into 3 has kind of hurt the focus of the script of the video, if that's the right word to use.
He also didn't touch on game play very much--he talked about the combat. But exploration/ quest "finding" didn't seem to be mentioned more deeply than in a off hand manner... But since I haven't played the game, perhaps they aren't really worth mentioning.
LOL on really ysure why I'm replying to you, but I guess "magnum opus" trigger me a bit. Those are strong words.
Am I the only one who keeps checking back every other day to see if he has released the next one?
You're not alone. I even started to check his twitter (which i never done to anyone ever before) about second part, where he is saying that it will take at least a week before it finally done. This waiting is killing me D:
Honestly just assume a June release at this point, he over-perfects his products imo
He'll announce it on Twitter before putting it up. Personally I just check there. Then again. Here I am
Same. I don‘t have twitter. Come here every day of the week!
@@RAWxxx07 me neither. You can still see it even if you don't use it. Far as I know he announces his vids before they go up so you can know in advance.
Those little elements of Abigail possibly being super evil is amazing and subtle. I neve noticed those on my 2 playthroughs
"Captain of the guard, Vincent 'dick wolf' Meis.... it's not him" takes me tf out every time
In case you don't know, Joseph has stated that he's re-recording his second video and remaking it. We should give him time to be satisfied with his work.
When all 3 parts come out, we will have something like a 15 hour epic to rewatch once every month. :)
ffs, of course he is. but if it means a better video in the end I can't really complain
He said an early December release in his last stream
Siesta ElMuerto are you joking? Because I want to know where he streams if you’re not
@@is3hunnid Check out his second channel
@@esloquees3854 Did he actually? Why is he remaking the video and which part of the video is he remaking?
"The first of three videos" and it's already 4 hours long.
We're in for a ride, which is exactly what all of us need right now
Wait he actually says that? Lmao, i haven't started watching
This video was amazing to watch! I watched it, beginning to end, in a few sittings, and I feel so acknowledged in my experience of the Witcher 1! The crappiness, the illogical story elements and the ending that more than makes up for everything, it was all represented in this video! Thank you so much!
It sometimes took a second for me to see when he was showing Witcher 1 or 3. I think that's a testament to the first. Sure it's models suck, and the fidelity is worse but the art style is so consistent and detailed that it can trick you into thinking it's better than it looks.
That's interesting, I can instantly tell all three games apart, as they all look quite unique from eachother to me.