The Witcher 2 Commentary - A Grand Experiment
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- Опубликовано: 9 июн 2024
- The second of three videos on The Witcher Series. This is mostly an in-depth commentary on the second game but brings up points about all three of them, plus some comments on the books and TV series. There are spoilers.
/ josephanderson
www.paypal.me/JphAnderson
/ andersonjph
/ jph_anderson
/ discord
Art Credits to
/ marikbentusi
/ nickolaiboulton
/ wuggynaut
Introduction - 00:00
The Prologue: The World According to Geralt - 17:52
Chapter One: Of Witchers and Men - 52:24
Chapter One Pt2: Xen and the Art of Silver Sword Maintenance - 1:36:40
Chapter One Pt3: The Flotsam House Rules - 2:08:16
Chapter Two: Vernon Roche and the Chamber of Secrets - 2:39:41
Chapter Two Pt2: The Elf with the Dragon Tattoo - 3:13:28
Chapter Three - Death of a Witcher - 3:54:30
#TheWitcher #TheWitcherSeries #WitcherCritique - Игры
There he goes again, trying to get past the 10 minute mark
Can't believe our Joe has fallen down into youtuber hole smh.
8 minutes now, according to his tweets on it
Literally unwatchable
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@Prince of Persia here we go again party pooper boring git
RUclipsrs literally only want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting.
5 hours?? That’s it?????
Make another video dequan
Damn you really were pumped for this.
5 hours and 5 minutes, like I tell my gf, 5 minutes is a lot of time
Jebecky
bruh
My daughter has been conceived, born, and almost started preschool before this Witcher trilogy is over
I was thinking about this last night. It's getting to the point where a teenager very well may start and possibly complete the entirety of their high school education before the 3rd video is released.
Hey maybe your daughter will have played all the games and watched all these videos by the next one?
Congratulations! Where the twos really terrible or was that a myth like the Witcher 3 video?
Mfers made the trilogy quicker than this mfer his review videos of it fr
@@joelfisk ayy that’s me, watched the first video at release and finishing high school now lmao
Maybe the real The Witcher 3 video is the friends we made along the way.
i’ve made no friends along the way so what does that mean for me?! do i just not have any witcher 3? dammit!
Hello friends!
Let me introduce myself and my profession:
I’m a Witcher and I’m a Witcher.
@@todd3143Same my friend, same...
just wanna say that ill stay subbed JUST so i can make sure i dont miss this. no rush joe. hope you are enjoying cyperpunk!
also holy shit bro TAKE YOUR TIME. amazing perfectionist.
*Video pops up in feed*
"I'm a Watcher."
Best comment.
Haha that made me genuinely laugh out loud irl. I read it perfectly with Doug Cockle's voice in my head. Best comment indeed.
Watcher of trivia
Nah that's the Pillars of Eternity video
o m g
"you'll recall, of course, 4 hours earlier in this video"
I hate that you can say this and I go, "ah yes, of course."
It's like a math textbook. "You might remember this obscure formula that we barely mentioned 500 pages ago. Well now it's super important."
@@Nicolae_Mew My math book going "last book we taught you this" when I used a different publisher, and it wasn't a year ago like is intended, but three years ago, and that part wasn't in the book because I know for a fact their version of the current one teaches it instead so I just have to figure it out on my own
@Kyle Riel What a stupid comment.
@Kyle Riel lol it almost has 2 million views clearly people still care
My memory with most things: absolute horseshit
My memory with every little inclination and detail of this video when I’ve only watched it once so far: absolutely magnificent
"who are you? How did you get past the mist?"
"I'm a witcher, And I'm a witcher."
He liked your comment. That's a good sign.
@@AimForMyHead81 He is now blessed by the gods
@@AimForMyHead81
Axii, to be exact
Kudos for the Police Squad reference.
Joseph creating his own Half Life 3 is truly a sight to behold, very impressive.
amen
When the world needed him the most, he came
That's what she said.
he CAME??
I came too when I saw the thumbnail in my sub box
I CAME
Phrasing!
What no-one has realized is that the Witcher 3 video is already out, it's just taken RUclips 6 months to download and process it
you got one month for this to be true
U better be right kmt
Now 11
10 days
5
Not going to lie, Part 3 is starting to have those Half Life 3 and Winds of Winter vibes ...
OR YMS LION KING
Agreed, LUUUL
@@armitx9 elden ring
@@armitx9 well don't you look goofy now
It will come out this month.
Can't believe we're gonna get GTA 6 before the Witcher 3 video
😂😂😂😂😂
"This video will contain no lies whatsoever"
*Crosses off Jospeh lies on the bingo list immediately*
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Nice hahaha
great joke great grammar
Nah that's a free space
"Welcome to the Joseph-Anderson-lied-to-me support group. Why are you here?"
"He made me believe I could 'Take pity on the kitty'."
Alright i realize it was a joke, but now i want to play J.A bingo.
So what I took from this 5 hour delight:
Geralt is, according to legends, supposedly, most likely, indeed....a witcher
He’s a Witcher
@@frostycane5134 the man in question whomst is named Geralt Of Rivia is in fact, a mutated expert monster slayer that is most commonly known as... a witcher
consider an aerial transfer of an arbitrary monetary value token into mutated expert cryptid slayer's possession
@@frostycane5134 Not sure why you would think that
G-Rex Saurus because of that famous line that is written in the books you know the one
“ silver for monsters, steel for humans...... I’m a Witcher”
Well boys, the Witcher 3 got a major update. Video postponed for another year to write a section on all those changes.
What a massive shame, I was looking forward to watching that video in 2024
It added things for different Witcher 2 save outcomes so he has to play through it again in order to see the new things in Witcher 3
It's been a year
So in the time between now and the release of this video not only did CD Projekt Red release there new IP Cyberpunk 2077 (horribly might I add) they put out a plethora of updates which eventually resulted in the game being fixed and then releasing one of the best DLC's with Phantom Liberty and we're still waiting on the Witcher 3 video. Oh and that dude's kid is probably almost finished preschool by now I reckon
His oldest son has beaten dark souls 1 since then. I'm not even joking
Daym this series' commenters have their own lore haha
"I'm not racist against elves, *but*"
t. Joseph Anderson
Joe: 13% of elves...
oyyy this isnt a sseth video
@@petecoleman3443 don't 13/50 us. It's makes you look really dumb
I think it's still a fair point, if you see the scoia'tel as a commentary on white supremacists. I mean, both are violent morons and both think that they're superior to everyone.
@@sebj3917 Why yes, I am.
"I'm a Witcher."
Geralt of Rivia, a Witcher.
Hey dude, careful with the spoilers
Ugh, literally can't go in RUclips comments without getting spoiled
2:39:12 slipped in an "Ima..."
Still laughing an hour after.
Witcher is a weird word.
@@MrVilidat the "ima" thing has happened twice so far that I've seen and every time it gets funnier
For anyone wondering, Joe talked about the Witcher 3 video a little while ago on the stream and why it's taking so long, and all he could say is that the delay has nothing to do with the video itself and hasn't for a long time. He isn't suffering from creative burnout either, he's still just as excited to release it and have people watch it as he was when he first started the project. There's just something else that's been preventing him from releasing it that he can't talk about, which I assume is some IRL or family stuff. He dropped some pretty damn heavy stuff just a little while later like how sometimes he disassociates so hard from either a lack of sleep due to his narcolepsy or if he gets too wrapped up in a project that he legitimately can't recognize his wife and kids. So given just how all consuming this Witcher 3 vid has become... I don't doubt the possibility that it's impacted his life pretty heavily and the delay is an affect of that, though that might be ruled out by the "the delay has nothing to do with the video itself" thing.
He did say that it will be out this year no matter what, though. It'll be out even if he has to release it unfinished, I believe. If he doesn't, he's deleting his channel and entire online presence. I don't know if that was a joke or if he was serious about it, but he sounded pretty serious about it, and this isn't the first time he's said that. I think he's remained consistent about that for around 2 months at least. The Witcher 3 video either comes out this year or it's all over. We'll just have to wait and see what happens.
EDIT: It's reached the "spectacle" level of wait for me now, like the Winds of Winter or Doors of Stone, lmao.
hey thanks for the heads up, i had the question in my head but never knew where to ask it
damn, really? i'm sorry to hear that and thank you for sharing, since i've actually been a little worried about joe. just for posterity, is there a clip or archive of him saying what you've laid out here?
Considering his trolley(ha) personality he will release it in december, probably 31st.
Does he record his streams? Do you recall which one this may have been? I’d love to hear him talk since I often can’t watch streams live.
god im so happy that it's gonna come out at all. also, damn, narcolepsy? thats some serious shit. also, thank you for updating us
Back here every 6 months just to check the comments and see if people are still waiting for the 3rd video, hope everyone’s well and that the guys daughter who was conceived born and nearly started play school, is enjoying play school by now 😭
Im so hyped for the witcher 3 video, i hope it arrives this year!
It's time for my re-watch. I'm committed to wating as long as it takes :) :)
@@teazen_tea10 years later, still waiting
@@VenoxisguidesI wonder how long the video will be lol
@@plugshirt1762 I’m actually going to be surprised if it’s under 10 hours 😭
"Roche's blue stripped special unit has murdered enough elves to forever cancel Christmas" oh my god
Straight up me spit my drink out
lol
There's something foreboding about the fact that in every cut to witcher 3, Geralt isn't wearing anything.
It's the only way to properly play witcher 3.
also, did i see correctly that his *default* weapons are broken?
The emperor has no clothes
Except at one of the cuts in the ending parts where he is riding with Vesamir at the beginning of Witcher 3.
Ultra-light armour build
Every day I tell myself that today is the day, but it's never the day. I'm like a dog whose master died and so he returns to the same place waiting for him to come back, but instead of a master it's a 10 hour video game analysis that I wish upon.
Edit: Joe said the video would come out January 2024 and then he missed the deadline and has been silent ever since. If it doesn't come before the Persona 3 Reload streams then it's probably on hiatus again. And here I thought being a Hunter X Hunter fan was tough...
couldn't have said it better myself
I’m so hype for the eventual release
@@eos_aurora legends say that Ragnarok will come with the return of Joseph Anderson. The earth will shake and the seas will shatter from the awe of the hype around a RUclips video.
Until then, we shall wait
Betrayed, Forgotten, Abandoned
My dad will come back with milk before Witcher 3 video comes out...
Joseph Anderson is my dad
He did say he will include all quests in Witcher 3, which probably amounts to a 10 hour video.
@@idontthinkso5966 Said it was gonna be max 12 hours
Holy crap it’s not out and this is two years old. It must be like 25 hours lol
@@the0nlytrueprophet942 he said on Twitter, that he set the cap to 10 or 12 hours (I don't remember) He probably either doesn't care enough to finish it or cares too much to consider it "done" and is still polishing it. Either way it will probably end up like cyberpunk. Overhyped and disappointing. Don't get me wrong, it's probably gonna be good and I'm gonna watch every single minute of it, but no video would justify the delays.
Yeah, i could see how this took a whole day to render.
multiple days I assume
@@wopwopkross And then Sony Vegas crashes at 95%
He took two weeks off to “recover” from playing a game and writing about it.
What.
@@D00000T
My 2600 took 6 hours to render a 40 minutes video in 4k.
I'd assume rendering 1080p for a 6 hour video would take 18 hours for me
Joseph's gonna get a job at Pentagon just to get access to a computer capable of uploading Witcher 3 Critique before all his fans die of old age.
"We'll look into it shortly"
Ok
"In two hours"
.... oh
Any faster and we'll break the sound barrier.
My disapointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined by the fact that those romance cards were fake
Idk, trying to get past Granny first playthrough without guides at hand could be viewed as intense and complicated courtship XD
I know there's rumor of a 12 hour long Witcher 3 video but I think it's actually just a three hour long video with a 9 hour long Zoltan 'I'm Not a Squirrel' Chivay bit.
(half a joke, half a challenge, this is the best bit)
Zoltan "Totally not a Scoia'tael, Are You Crazy, Have You Lost Your Marbles, Geralt, Thats The Funniest Thing I've Ever Heard And I Hang Out with Dandelion All Day, Me, A Scoia'tael, No Way, Witcher-ay" Chivay is the best nickname i've ever heard
It just rolls off the tongue.
I dont even speak squirell!
"They broke in a new engine, Bethesda wonders what that is like."
I can hear the aloe being applied to Todd Howard as you speak...
To be fair, CDPR are probably going to be using the Red Engine only for as long as they can. It works for the games they make. Just as Creation works for Bethesda's games, or Source for Valve, or Unreal for 90% of games
@@FraserSouris Did I just read Creation WORKS for Bethesda games? Hahaha
@@shimadabr Name me any other Engine that can:
1- Be used to create and deploy Radiant AI to many NPCs, and give NPCs full schedules with ease
-2- Create cells and environments reasonably fast
-3- Apply physics to many different objects at once rather than make everything stationary
-4- Is highly moddable
If you compare Creation to other Engines, you'll find it succeeds better then them when it comes to making Bethesda style games.
CDPR's Red Engine struggles with applying full schedules to NPCs. You'd need to go in and practically do it by hand. You also can't interact with objects unless they're pre-made to. Wheras Creation and Radiant AI are much more straightforward to apply. You can also spawn a fork on a table and go in to pick it up with no further development whereas RED needs further work. RED 3 is also such a pain to mod that most modders prefer RED 2.
Unreal, according to Bioware, is also a really limited engine when it comes for big RPGs. They had to basically build all the infrastructure themselves and "duct tape" it to Unreal. And had to do it again for Frostbite.
Also, even modders have been arguing that Creation is a good Engine for Bethesda to keep using. It just needs to be updated.
@@FraserSouris ...you believe the radiant ai bullshit?
@@faustsies1366 I personally don't mind it too much but it is something Bethesda, and apparently most players, like and it is something unique to their games and is suited for their engines to handle
I was in 9th Grade when this video dropped, I was 15
I'm 18 now, Grade 12, and contemplating where I'm gonna go for University
Today is the day the Witcher 3 video drops, I believe it.
How did that turn out ? 😂
my nephew has been born and started attending shool since joseph announced his witcher critique
so, how's university been treatin' ya?)
I always assumed Philippa lied about where she was picking Triss' signal from, because I'm 99% sure that if you're hit with artifact compression, you can't be located.
In the books, EVERYONE is looking for Yennefer after the Thanedd coup. But no one can find her because Fransesca turned her into an artifact. I don't think she did any additional concealment spells.
Therefore, Philippa cannot locate Triss and that's why I assumed she lied, maybe she wanted Geralt on the other side of the mist for some reason. OR, and this is only just now occurring to me, Cynthia was able to send out fake signals that fooled Philippa.
Or it's a contrivance and a plot hole.
You are the only person still discussing about the witcher 2 in this comment section
Everyone knows Joe doesn't like the 2d cutscenes because they remind him of Darkest Dungeon.
they do really look like it tho
@@abdullahpoyraz2838 they both look like Don't Starve
@FolivorousCocoon961 only Joe I know of is the ancient myth of Joe Momma
Oddly enough I love Darkest Dungeon and also found those cutscenes to be just too ugly to enjoy.
There's a difference between being dark/gritty/morbid and being excessively gross. DD saves the grossest parts for the bosses. Do we really need to see the snot-bubble of a random peasant? Also everybody, even people who shouldn't look gross like Aryan and Eredin still look gross.
Me, I actually adore the cutscenes. Each to his own I guess.
“I’m happy this game exists, I never want to play it again.” Felt that
It isn't weeb enough for him to go back to.
@@redplague it's also linear, so
@@JoseSilva-ht8es I don't follow you?
This was my first witcher game and I’ve played it twice. The first two time I’ve played I didn’t remember all of these issues with the game. I have nothing but great memories. I remember playing witcher 1 and having a very hot and cold relationship with that game. The only one I’ll probably never play again.
I very much enjoyed Assassin of Kings first time I played it and even intend to give a go for another playthrough, but at least I'm forewarned against its flaws and could temper my expectations a bit.
To be perfectly honest, I kinda prefer tighter story-focused pacing of W2 over open world meandering of Wild Hunt. W2 gave me very compelling reasons, why I couldn't and shouldn't just go and leave towards the next part of my objective. First keiran and preparation to that battle, then cursed battlefied and preparation to that excursion.
I love the lands they have created in Wild Hunt, but I was constantly bombarded with map activities, tasks, little comedy skits, Geralt's companions personal quests, while the urgent goal to find *and help* Ciri was constantly pushing me forward, without knowing, which side quests might end up being crucial to the main plot, that I spent most of my walkthrough in a constant cognitive dissonanse. It took me three years to finish the game.
I enjoyed pacing of B&W and HoS much more in that regard and still venture into Redania, occasionaly, to uncover more of the map (Toussaint and Skellige are my landscape-porn of choice, though).
Remember when he tweeted Part 3 was coming in December-January?
Edit: due to the amount of time that has passed, I need to specify December of 2021-January of 2022.
See you in 2024.
Idc maaaaan iz gonna be good when it do come out
2023
Good times man…
I can see it coming January 2023, but that's still pretty optimistic.
Still nothing
Any day now. I can feel it.
It's fun to know that everyone who's left a comment already is still watching the video, or at the least hasn't finished it.
x4 speed gang rise up
@ancs28 there's a browser plugin to speed up any vid played in browser to up to 16x speed
I'm only an hour and a half in
This is going to be true for at least another 2 hours lol
If nobody posted for 5 hours he'd probably think there was something gravely wrong with the video
The density of jokes here amongst the critique is really impressive.
And annoying.
@@retinas2001 C'mon! That Star Craft dad-joke was great! It got a way bigger chuckle from me than I expected.
@@retinas2001 what kristoffer said
Let him & us have some fun while sitting through this.
Tbh I enjoy his jokes equally and everytime I at least smile to those. It adds a contrast to the serious tone of the video and this makes me enjoy it thoroughly.
"I'm a witcher."
GTA VI may actually come out before the Witcher 3 video
100%
Place your bets on which will come first, the recently announced witcher 4 or joe's witcher 3 video
My bet is on Witcher 5, not 4.
At this rate cyberpunk 2088 will come out first without any bugs
I'll place it on Elden Ring 3
I won't be able to watch the video around then because I'll be too busy playing Half Life 6
Joe video, 2024
Guard: "You'll choke to death on three pounds of steel"
Geralt: "I'm a Witcher"
@Kyle Riel no
@Kyle Riel So you clicked to watch a 5 hour long video expecting a fast review? It's just not for you, move on.
"Someone will have played this game and not known about the secret perks until right now"
👋🏻
I legitimately played it all the way through 3+ times and did not know about that.
It wasn't so hidden tho, i've found it when i was looking the section that explains what Geralt knows about each monster, they've ask you to research that while doing some sidequests.
And while switching those buttons found it (which goes at 120 mph if you switch it with controller btw, i don't know why)
part 3 is becoming the elder scrolls 6 of youtube videos
For real 😂 ❤
1:30:00 I believe what Ciaran meant by saying Iorweth is a "true elf" is that he has a *mindset* and *qualities* of the elves that were once a proud and free race. He doesn't let humans repress him, so he is viewed almost as a Nietzschean individualist by his kin
Also, have you played the game with polish dub? It's so much better. Like for example in 1:36:25 when asked if he remembers, Geralt answers simply by saying "no". In the polish version, when Letho asks him, you can hear that Geralt is annoyed with such question because of his amnesia, and says "No, I fucking don't".
Sadly I don’t know polish so I wouldn’t understand but I would love to see the difference in dialogue first hand
Bump, but I agree. I see that line the same way I would if someone said "Oh, that guy? He's an American. A real one". They're not talking about nationality at that point, but a set of beliefs or principles that that person thinks represent the true American.
Remember 4 years ago, when Joseph apologised for the length of a 30 minute video?
Fuckin 5 hours.. god damn. I know I'll enjoy it but i is daunting to say the least
He was saying sorry for such a small video
I do. 😅❤
This is in the background while I work
"A place so horrible with people so terrible that the moral of the story commits suicide at the end"... what a line!
"...the *Moril of the story..."
@@felipelins9559 One of the few times I actually felt bad after laughing at a joke.
Sounds like new Jersey
3:08:50 The part about Ves lying wasn't a mistake. In the story she told to Geralt and Roach she mentioned she was let go without anything bad happening to her. Geralt figured out she was lying and that she was actually raped by the king, but Roach wasn't able to pick up on it and only finds out if you tell him when he goes for revenge later.
I burnt down the library of Alexandria and recovered all its lost knowledge since this came out and Witcher 3 video isn't out yet!
Who else keeps coming back to see if part 3 is already out?
Hell yeah
right here
It is still not out.
@@RaukGorth yeah...
I suggest it is time for threats. Who knows JA's home address?
Your Witcher 3: Wild Hunt video is probably my most anticipated RUclips video ever
Likely longest youtube video ever also. lol
@@aratosm hopefully 10+ if it's getting all quest treatment!
I want to know if we share the same opinions hahah
It's definitely up there with Astartes Part 5
I hope its 10 hours long
Brah I swear I've been waiting for his Witcher 3 videos for like literally 4 years
Finished college before part 3 👍🏻
If started and stopped watching several youtube channels since this video launched, yet I still come back here. I don't understand why I keep coming, but I just want to see that third video. I wonder If I'll ever be able to forget.
"I'm a spice trader"
"a trader?"
"In spices"
"I'm A wItChEr"
I'm a trace spider
i love this
Kupiec korzenny, Emhyr van Emreis
Kupiec?
... Korzenny
i'm witcher Jokes were awesome, loved them!
Someone: *Breathes*
Geralt: Let me tell you something! Let me tell you something!
iM a WItChEr
This mans at the end apologizing like he hasn't made one of the absolute best video essays ever made.
Joe you are far too hard on yourself.
+
@@GerSHAK +
Lmao exactly. Like I didnt just watch 5 fuckin hours worth of him talking about a video game I barely played.
Bruh he got a gift
He's Canadian
@@darianwright9488 hahah funny stereotypical joke
I'm beginning to wonder if this is just a deep, meta Half-Life 2 reference....
We might actually get Witcher 4 before Witcher 3 analysis
Jesus....
And gta 6 actually. 😢
I actually had a nightmare last night. Part 3 came out and it was only 3 hours. I awoke in a cold sweat.
I hope it's at least 12 - 20 hours long since the 3rd game is so long.
@@PrickDonny He also has to cover the two expansions in the same video
@@SAMSARALIVEEEEEE And the books.
The amount of work he can put into a single video game review is actually scary. He probably worked more on his Witcher 3 review than IGN did on all their reviews they published in the last 5 years combined
You still think a part 3 is still actually happening? I have my doubts now at this stage
Almost 3 hours in: "and that's the end of chapter one."
Joseph Anderson is an international treasure
@Jordan Ghill you are debateable. If you dont like him, why are you in his comment section? Haha loser
@Jordan Ghill kinda mad for somebody who said something passive aggressive then got lightly trolled
@Jordan Ghill mindless fanboys are quick to lose their cool when they feel threatened, don’t bother with them
Its the contrast between Philippa getting two gratuitous love making scenes with Cynthia (who is a really cool dancer) filtered through a voyeuristic and a bdsm kink len. Obviously for titillation but not wrong in of itself. In comparison, Detmold and his lover and on the set up like a punchline to a joke. Like a pair of ugly clowns. 'The ugly wizard is an effeminate queer too~' despite not exhibiting any of these traits prior. Nevermind how easy it was for Roach to overpower him despite him not being bound like she was.
There's a tangible disdain leveled at one gay wizard over the other despite them both being unscrupulous people. So no Joseph, it wasn’t just you.
It was weirdly contemptuous
You couldnt have described it more perfectly
Don't forget the gratituous lesbian committing suicide over bad news and the elf woman who after being freed from her captor decides to commit suicide rather than leave and return to her loving husband❤
It's so obvious it's a team of chauvinist IT dudes who make these games, that in turn are based on a book series with questionable story lines of incest, prostitution and endless gratituos sex with such CONVENIENT amounts of sterility and immunity to STDs.
As a regular-ass woman and gamer, i just roll my eyes and laugh at all the retarded shit that results. Like the romance cards of W1. It's a great challenge to AVOID getting them.
I'm just playing the games for the few good looking fantasy husbandos, and ignoring the rest tbh.
I also just refuse to ever try reading the books. I get enough of mens perversions from the "classics" already, like in George Orwells 1984. There's a lovely scene where the male protagonist confesses to his love interest that her beauty and chastity made him want to strangle and rape her. She of course only laughs and and happily spreads her legs for him there and then.
There is no fucking end to it, my dudes.
THIS WAS 2 YEARS AGO?!?!?
don't you dare remove the jokes they really break up the seriousness and length of the video. I don't think you need more or less, this was the perfect amount, but also I'm sure I missed so many because of how subtle they can be sometimes, so idk. what a great video
I find it also helps with the pacing of long drawn out explanations to not make them too stuffy
Yeah, I thought the older videos were way too dry, and then the stream presentation pleasantly surprised me by being completely different. This feels like striking a better balance.
There were some small phrases that really surprised me snd cracked me up. I like them and they feel like rewards for being invested in vods and streams
I miss the lies. Those were the best part of the first video.
Friends: *recommend movies to me*
me: "I don't have time to commit to movies right now"
also me: *watching this*
“Yeah, I’m watching the Witcher series”
“Oh dude it’s the best thing on Netflix”
“Netflix?”
Also me: better watch it a second time incase I missed some of the jokes
@@jiffylou98 LMFAO dude.
@Kyle Riel Personally (and this is very, very subjective) I actually like someone laboriously picking apart games and stories that I enjoy. I'd have listened to it if it was twice as long as the game itself. To be cheesy(er): "The goal is not the destination, it's the journey". You may (and probably should) laugh but I viewed Chris Davis's 2 hour video on this game and felt it was horribly truncated, also, not enough self-referential jokes.
Don't feed the troll lads. He's just a wee lad unloved by the world.
"next one out in two days" oh man
Honestly the way Geralt becomes "sir Geralt of Rivia" in the books is one of the funniest moments in the whole series.
Elaborate
spoilers for main saga
so geralt is travelling with the gang. they're crossing a river on a stolen boat and find themselves trapped. nilfgaard on one side, guerrillas on the other. both were planning to use the boat they stole.
they end up flowing downstream and having to get off the boat. they want to run away, but a woman travelling with them suffers a miscarriage. another man rushes to help her, geralt with cahir (a nilfgaardian) want to buy enough time, so they join the guerrillas and slaughter a load of nilfgaard soldiers trying to cross a bridge.
after the battle, they discover that the guerrillas were led by queen meve, who used to rule in rivia. she's thankful for geralt's help and knights him on the spot.
before this he was calling himself geralt of rivia purely to make himself seem more trustworthy, and now it's for real
The “I’m a Witcher” line at the end of every dialogue scene is just beautiful
If Telltale made a Witcher game, "I'm a witcher" would replace the default "..." option.
Best part:
Iorveth: "I have a feeling that we'll be meeting him again soon"
Geralt: "I'm a -"
[End scene]
3:33:24 "Jestem wiedźminem".
“He’s unconscious! Is anyone here a doctor?”
Geralt: “I’m a Witcher.”
Yen... I'm a witcher
Me at the start of today: "5 HOURS! It will take me DAYS to finish this!"
Me at the end of that same day; "...I wish it was not over."
I'm probaby going to end up rewatching this like 4 more times when I'm done
I was actually excited when I saw the length of this video.
every comment is about waiting for the Witcher 3 video, so i wanted to say; this video is great. i wasnt lost at any point despite my only witcher knowledge being from the first video, and i found every hour engaging. it was funny, it was fascinating, it was well-crafted. while i think the Witcher 3 video will be better received, i think that i’ll remember this as a greater accomplishment, purely because of the difficulty of the material you were critiquing and how well you tackled it regardless. well done, joe
+1 to this, couldn't agree more - hope Joe sees this.
I also really hope joe sees this great comment
3 years I’ve been waiting for 3 years and I’ll wait 3 more if that’s what it takes
watching a 90 minute movie: ew no thanks
watching a 5 hour long Witcher 2 analysis: yes yes! very epic!
This is why millennials and sooners are killing the cinema industry. /J
@@lily91109 you’re taking it too literally, but no. This is not what’s ruining it
@@lily91109 yeah and they fuckign deserve it the fact that Hollywood cant make something to entertain me for 90 minutes with millions of dollars and hundreds of people while some guy on the internet can make a 5 hour video that i watched in one seating and delighted in every second of. really tells u as to how fuck that industry really is and how boring and honestly shit committee design is
@@lily91109 ok boomer
@@danteezy945 @Link Hidalgogato @Beltion Bambie I forgot to add a tone indicator to my comment, it was a joke.
Shorter, longer, middling… Makes no difference. If I’m to choose between one witcher video and another… I’d rather choose to watch them all
I like the idea that the witcher 1 was just a play or stage preformance written by Dandelion. it explains why NPC models are reused so much. It explains the inconsistencies with the newer games, It even explains the romance cards.
I like how they did it in 3. :) Models are still reused heavily, but specific faces aside (fuck you vampire as first example) it takes you a while to notice. They genuinly look like a small troupe of actors who had access to a costume wardrobe and apperance tweaking accessories and were running outback to change every time we needed smaller one-of roles or extras to populate the scene.
Were gonna have GTA6 before we get the witcher 3 video 😭
Pls! Dont Jinxy it brother.
About Saskia being rude to Geralt, it's an error in translation. In original polish she says Geralt will always be a welcome guest in Vergen. She even asks him if he wants to settle there.
@@TheTsuyuki Not a translation error but it always bothered me how different Iorveth's english VA is from the polish one. His original voice is way younger (and matches better with his look) and much more arrogant. You can hear Iorveth's disdain for aen seidhe just from the tone of his voice.
@Kyle Riel no.
Were any of the other out of place lines (Ves is lying, we have unfinished business, etc.) different in Polish too?
Same in the German version
@Kyle Riel
I think... I think Joe's content just isnt for you, pal.
Wait.
Those were “fake” romance cards???
NOOOO
WE WERE TRICKED, WE WERE BACKSTABBED, AND QUITE POSSIBLY, WE WE'VE BEEN BAMBOOZLED!
Honestly was so surprised and disappointed lol
as someone who loves the Witcher games and has 500+ hours on the first two games I was certain they were either cut content or localization issues so even for me, I was tricked because honestly who pays attention to nude cards.
I don't know what to believe anymore
I've been lied to
I was very surprised when he said that... he's too good of a liar.
Remember when he said in the first video that all three are already done
I don't. Probably because this was like 5 years ago lmao
When Ciaran he calls Iorveth a real Aen Seidhe, he is talking about him being free and not a slave to humans.
This is implied in the Iorveth quest when Iorveth says that the Elves in Flotsam are more dhoine than Geralt.
I get the feeling Ciaran is trying to say that Iorveth is an elf that has never lived with humans, in human settlements. He's an elf that has always been an elf, and lived as elves do, and never tried to be anything else to fit in with humans. Which I find makes his support for Saskia a deeper meaning, and fits with the sad tone in Iorveth's voice as he discusses how he has accepted that Saskia's dream is the best chance, only chance, for his people - he is one of the few true Aen Seihe who is willing to give that up for Saskia and her dream of an independent Pontar Valley.
@@agilemind6241 I couldn't agree more
That's what I thought too. Otherwise, why would Ciaran call him "a free one"?
@@agilemind6241 I think most people don't have any idea what it's like to watch your own people assimilate to an oppressor's culture and slowly disappear and die out trying to fit in with the people who see you as lesser, but understanding that perspective really makes Iorveth a more compelling character. Ciaran's comment just emphasized that to me.
@@FaerieDust I think that the squirrels being terrorists is hard for people to understand, because they are alive for centuries. They saw SO MUCH. Their hatred for humans is quenched in suffering of generations.
Imagine if native Americans that were alive during the European conquest of the continent were still alive today, and had the strength to fight. Would they ever trust any Europeans? Or would they hate them?
The deal with Foltest is, also, something that only seems like a somewhat permanent thing for humans. For humans, they will probably see only one or two kings ruling over them, so a kings decision is as good as a permanent thing. Iorveth saw many kings.
It makes sense that he doesn't think a deal with a human king is a big deal, if the elves don't have real power to protect themselves when that king inevitably dies, or betrays them in what is a short time for them. They HAD a deal with a king before, and they got shit from it.
Also, for humans, most of the things are history. Maybe it happened to their grandparents, but that's it. It's not personal. Iorveth probably lost many friends during the centuries. Maybe family. For him it IS personal.
It makes sense that elves HATE humans. Even if they are pricks with large egos that pretend elves weren't just as evil as humans to the previous inhabitants of the planet.
In this video:
>Black screen of censorship.
*" I ' M A W I T C H E R "*
Liked for witcher
Joe: I'm 99.8% straight
Yusuke: Very well, I will go along with this!
No comments, lame bro
I believe the "I know his weakness" line from Letho has to do with a pirouette move in the witcher moveset, which Letho believes Geralt cannot do because he had injured one of his legs in the past. Thats why in the final fight with Letho, Geralt pulls off a move that catches Letho off guard and disarms him, because somehow Geralt was healed from that injury and performed a move Letho did not think he could do.
Then again, last I played TW2 was years ago, so this might be mistaken.
a core experience of reading the book is geralt pirouetting to win every single fight so this wouldn't surprise me
Got bored and did some math today. Its been 1371 days since this video. If we say Joe has only given himself an hour per day only on the weekends since then to work on the video, then he's only had ~390 hours to do whatever he's needed for the video between reading all the books, probably watching the netflix series, potentially 100%ing W3 and its DLC, script writing, editing, voice over, audio choices, making sure he can use said audio, etc... we could even trim that down farther if we say those hours also include the time he used for the elden ring and lies of p videos.
I have watched challenge runs of the SMT games that the creator had shared the time stats for and the total hours between the gameplay, editing, scripting, and voicing were anywhere between 480 and 860 hours depending on how hard the challenge was and with the editing of those videos commonly taking up over 200 hours of that time table; we could say that the allotted time I've arbitrarily decided Joe has limited for working on all the things required for the video is still within an average range for making a video with howlongtobeat saying Witcher 3 takes 189 hours for the GotY edition for a completionist to see everything the game has to offer; but it's a little weird since the base game says 173 with blood and wine itself adding 40.5 and hearts of stone adding 18 hours so lets take the longer route and say it's 231.5 hours. And the books taking roughly 102 hours according to omnicalculator's witcher calculator figuring for half a page a minute (it actually tells you how many days it'll take but if you set it to reading for 1 hour/day then you just use hours instead of days yea?) Making a current total of 303.5 hours just to play the game and read the books not even mentioning the netflix series if thats part of it or the scripting, voicing, or editing.
I won't say I'm not fiending for the video, I'd be lying if I did, but at the end of this one he brings up how absolutely busy he is between being a parent and a husband, getting a dog, and probable legal stuff with the mention of a lawyer. I think just working on the weekends might make a little sense or I'm just coping at this point.😅
When other youtubers upload a 20min video.
Me: "Ain't nobody got time fo dat"
Joseph Anderson uploads a 5h video.
Me: "Looks like my plans for today are cancelled"
"You go back to Phillipa's house to find her whipping Cynthia on the bed. Welcome back to anyone who was tabbed out and just listening instead of watching" damn you got me but I was only curious if it was going to be censored or not I swear
I always listen first but everytime I watch it I end up finding all the dumb little jokes and I feel called out
that scene was a very horrified experience for me. my sister burst into the room for searching her stuff while I was playing the game, and that was my first playthrough. I didn't knew going into the house will trigger that cutscene Lol
V - Trigger oh no 😂
"I'm happy this game exists. I never want to play it again." This sums up my gut reaction after doing both endings for it. I can kinda understand why you said you didn't liked this video, but I think it's a perfect analysis of what the game is and thorough enough that even I that have 200+ hours in each of these games am still surprised by details I've missed. 5 hours really is succinct for all that can be said about these games, and I'm sad that this ambition grew so large that it burst the balloon in flames with Cyberpunk 2077... I've revisited these videos to refresh my memory and they're incredible, I first binged them podcast-style and now have watched in bits and it's even better this way. Hope things are okay and when the third one is out it can be something you're comfortable with.
I'm not even a virgin anymore and part 3 still isn't out wtf
"A place so horrible with people so terrible that the Moril of the story commits suicide at the end." Crazy how a detailed 5 hour video has these hidden nuggets of gold in it.
Easy to hide a gold nugget in a gold mine
Moral not moril lol
@@azoonovic7768 that is the pun. Moril is the name of the character who killed herself
@@shinz948 Ahh, then I'm dumb
Video Number 3 will just be Joseph saying "im a witcher" over and over again for 7 hours
He really missed a good april fools opportunity with that
Lol I laughed at this one it’s 3am but still
That part reminded me of Data from ST:TNG "I am an Android"
ruclips.net/video/2PFgbg8QOPk/видео.html
Can't Wait for my Grand children to Watch the Witcher 3 Critique
Its been over 2 years now. I dont know how long I can wait for it no more fellas.
Update me if it ever comes out
Still waiting...
Most likely the video is dead. He took the Patreon money and ran to Twitch to make more at 0.1% of the effort. I'd do the same but it still sucks.
@@mikyto7313 I knew it. I just wish that he didnt need to bait his audience into thinking that he was going to release the video at all. And correct me if im wrong but didnt people pay him to make the video?
"Geralt is a gamer"
This is the content we've been waiting for.
I need fan art of Geralt sitting in an overpriced gamer chair with a bottle of G Fuel, wearing a Hot Topic T shirt that says something like “I don’t have birthdays, I level up.” Or some shit.
Bonus points if he has Funko Pop figures
Geralt bath water.
Daniel Adamczyk I’d buy that
Chilly Jelly technically Geralt IS a gamer. Henry Cavill plays a ton of Total War.
"There will be spoilers" loool I laughed so hard, cuz I just can't begin to imagine, what spoiler free 5 hour long witcher 2 video would be
You ever hear morse code before? That, it would be that.
Coming Soon: Joseph Anderson’s witcher reviews: Unnecessary Censorship Edition.
@boris steve 5 more hours of “I’m a Witcher”
This made me laugh!!!
He could be needlessly vage on anything of detail
Sorry guys. JA is personally waiting for me to catch up before he uploads the next vid. I should only be another week or two.
LOL
2:29:57 Iorveth and Roche not killing each other makes perfect sense when you consider they're clearly thirsty for each other. It's the only thing that makes sense.
Honestly? You cracked the code
You know, this whole series is one huge male fantasy about fighting cool monsters while women are DTF at all times, with totally convenient sterility on top of that of course and some lesbians and pregnant women dying for plot reasons sprinkled on top.
We could at the very least get these 2 little gremlin men with their conflicted romance!!. Death of the author idea and all that, we can interpret it to be cannon all we want because it makes a lot more sense than most of the witcher plot line anyway lmao
I will never get tired of the Zoltan "Totally Not A Scoiatel" jokes
What are you crazy?
I don't even squirrel
Im a witcher!
@@hugefart440 It's funny because it'll legitimately be true in Witcher 3.
"Shove Dijkstra aside forcefully"
*Flashbacks intensify*
yea, that shove was one hell of a de-feet suffered....
I wonder if a psychic toe'd him what would happen he would have just surrendered before the surprise twist? I guess at least he still could claim to have a leg up on Geralt......for a second or so....
@ancs28
*Un-liked.*
@ancs28
Fishing for likes is ugly, and you deleted your comment reply to look innocent...
If the Witcher 3 video is at least 10 hours I'm gonna be so happy.
It's amazing to me how Joseph Anderson can make videos 6 hours long and people are like "wait that's it? Is this part one?"
I want to know how many viewers watch the whole video.
I stayed away from these videos for so long because of the length. In the past 4 days I've watched both Witcher videos and it's killing me that I can't immediately click on an 8 hour video for Witcher 3
I imagine the next gen update is going to delay the 3rd video. I look forward to watching it when I'm 90.
"I'm a Witcher" - Geralt of Rivia, Witcher - The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings
Featuring Witcher Geralt of Rivia from The Witcher series.
@@neoshenlong Written and directed by Geralt of Rivia, Witcher, from Witcher 2, from the Witcher series.
Witcher 2: Witcher of Witchers featuring Geralt of Rivia, Witcher
Jake Murray I’m a Witcher: A Witcher’s Tale, by Geralt of Rivia, Witcher.
Congrats on getting another section of this project out. I'll let you know if it's any good in a few days.
Savage lmao
I'll cut that short. It's amazing...
Also, nice to see you here in the comments
Razbuten
Nice surprise to see you here, haha.
Good to see you here.
Well?
Blue Stripes die and Ves is raped only if Geralt works for Henselt and uncovers the conspiracy. If Geralt is with Iorveth, conspiracy succeeds, the majority of Henselt's troops betray him, and do not go to Vergen. That's why Henselt looses to Saskia on Iorveth's path and not because Geralt kills couple of soulders on the wall. Roche is real BRO, "BRoche" as you metioned) But for the sake of good, it would be better if you betray him and go with Iorveth, after which you can save Triss. That minimizes casualties overall.
Also, the assassins fail to kill Henselt because of Sile, as Letho tells Geralt later. Auckes and second one will die in attempt to save Letho.
Iorveth path and saving Triss is better for continuiry with TW3, I think
two years, sadly no witcher 3
LETS GO FOR THREE BABYYY