Andgela Middleton--That is very true. However, people seem to be more sensitive to the pain of a widow than that of a divorcee. The stages of grief remain the same; the healing process still takes the same amount of time (according to some psychologists, it takes about six months for every year of marriage). www.webmd.com/balance/normal-grieving-and-stages-of-grief www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/how-long-does-grief-last
I was widowed at 42, with a 21 month old son. I always stressed that I was a WIDOWED mom, yet was consistently viewed as a "single parent," complete with rude, demeaning comments regarding my "life choices." I found there was far more support for "single moms" than for widows. I felt invisible, because it was "too uncomfortable" to speak with a widow. I had to pick up, pack up and move 75 miles away from my family and support system, as our residence was part of my husband's salary package. Please don't assume that widowed moms receive "more sympathy."
I have a friend who was recently widowed, 4 months ago, and has an 11 year old son. I’m amazed at how many people ask her how it happened. My friend is too polite to say she’d rather not talk about it and every time when she tells the story she almost breaks down. I’m not sure Mayim has the knowledge to do a video on what not to say to widows but I believe it would be helpful.
One MercilessMing - I certainly hope you’re wrong about the timing on this (six months for every year of marriage). That means it’s going to take me 15 years to go through the healing process after losing my husband of 30 years?
Judi Hughes First, I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you have been through. Second, I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, because I am genuinely curious. You say there is far more support for "single moms" than widows, but also comment that people mistook you for one and were rude and and made demeaning comments about life choices. It sounds like "single moms" get some pretty terrible treatment. Who is giving them support and why not widows?
I am not a divorced woman, I am not even married, but I do appreciate these videos because it allows me to understand a different mindset . I would never want to insult or hurt anyone with my words, so it's actualy really helpful.
I got divorced a year ago at the age of 37. It was horribly painful. The comment I hated most was "At least you two didn't have children, that makes it so much harder. " I understood the sentiment but as a woman approaching 40 and always wanted a child this was a punch in the gut every time I heard it.
I'm a divorced guy and stumbled across this video anticipating a male-bashing and having one more brick removed from the foundation of what little faith I have left in humanity (the result of online dating). Let me just say that it was wonderful and welcome to hear you share your perspectives.. They feel the same as those of us who are male and divorced. While I would never get back together with my Ex (of over two decades), I still love her on some level and the emptiness left by the loss of a lifetime of sharing is painful and can never be gotten back - even if I do meet someone amazingly special at some point. My life is what it is because I grew through my formative years with my Ex. It feels like an insurmountable challenge to take this very crystalized personality that is me, and try to sell it on the open market. Therapy helps, but how much of our quirky personalities can we really unravel? We are who we are, and matching that fully-formed person to other similarly fully-formed people out there is what I think the never-divorced just cannot even begin to understand. I have seen the passing of family, close friends and pets and nothing ever prepared me for the emotional loss or the difficulty of attempting to start again so late in life. When people downplay the situation with benignly-ignorant optimism, it usually just makes things feel far worse. Thank you again for taking the time to make this video. It's nice to not feel so alone.
Well thought out and stated. Asa widowed man starting again after losing a lovely wife of 36 yrs, breaking up w a npd woman of 5 years, this is refreshing to hear. Tnx doc!
Can totally relate. Divorced for 30 years from an abusive relationship. But refused to sell myself short. My newest mantra from an 80 yo single woman...... it's better to be single than to wish you were!
I'm going through exactly the same thing... And it was a 15 year old relationship, half my life... which is making everything more difficult for me even if it was a abusive relationship
No single woman wants to hear, "You are so amazing, there is someone perfect, wonderful, worthy of you." It is a nice sentiment, but the bottom line is, that is not true. There is not a "lid for every pot." Some people are an omelette pan.
Dear married/dating/engaged/promiscuous friends acquaintances and strangers, I don't want to be in a relationship right now. No, I am not afraid that I'm going to dry up if I don't have sex. In fact, I'm fine with not having sex at this point. Thank you for your concern, McKenna P. S. No thank you. I'm not interested in hearing how much sex my ex is having.
I was divorced at age 42 after 20 years, then was greatly blessed with a wonderful second wife 2 years later. Unfortunately, 3 days before our second anniversary, she died from a stroke. I felt the divorce was more painful because it was a choice whereas death was definitely not. Being widowed with step children and complicated relationship with an ex-husband was very challenging.It has been 17 years and I don't have great advice or wisdom to share. I wish you the best and hope you find happiness with or without someone.
Divorce is definitely more hurtful, because it's basically rejection. I always look at divorce and breakups as opportunities to explore new people and recreate my life. It's actually quite exciting. Plus, usually the thing people can't get past isn't the ex, themselves, so much as what they represent.
I never cared for women complaining about husbands. It's just plain disrespectful. I'd be heartbroken if I knew my husband spoke about me that way ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It is really bad for your relationship to complain about him to others- in public or in private. It changes the way they interact with him, and more importantly, it affects how you view and interact with him.
same! when I was married I refused to speak poorly of my husband. even divorced I won't speak poorly about him. He is the father of my children and it would hurt them if I spoke poorly of their father.
@@techwoman2 Exactly. After I divorced, I refused to say anything negative about my ex in front of our kids. Their dad is a good man, just a feckless husband and lousy with money. I always made sure that the kids knew that I thought their dad was a good man and that I knew that he loved them, and that we wanted them to grow up as happy as could be. After she was married, my oldest told me privately that she understood, and that she was glad when I left because we were both so unhappy. And she appreciated that I tried so hard to be good to their dad. And he is an excellent grandpa. :-)
I hate when even preachers make “wife” jokes! It makes me so mad. I’ve told more than 1 that it’s low and that if her cooking (or whatever) is that bad that he should learn how... watch the food network
Oh that is awful! I don't recall ever hearing one of my pastors do that which I'm thankful for. I'd have a hard time trusting them if they talked about their spouses that way.
I also hate when people say "yea marriage requires alot of work" when I tell them I'm divorced. I'm thinking yes It does especially when only one is putting forth effort.
Usually all are at some sort of fault. Divorced myself. He drank and hit me but, I should have left with my self respect intact. 28 years divorced and just got to tap into his retirement. Satisfying! LOL...
Totally agree with you. I am 54 and have been separated for over a year now. I was married for almost 27 years and it’s now over. This time of my life is hard.
I'm sorry that is very hard at that age. Not saying that your life is over at all!!! But having a life with someone and then ending, in a bad or good way, is hard! Specially with kids (and pets!!!) I've only been separated for over two years and I miss married life and honestly stinks. You're not alone!!
I know what your going through I got Divorced after 30 years and I am 54 and people say oh after all those you still couldn’t make a go of it.l was in a physical and mental abuse marriage and it took years to break away and try to rebuild my life and work on my self and heal. It’s getting better after almost 3 years now.
@@lauramclaine504 Whomever made that comment to you needs to go jump in a lake! They're clueless. Forget their judgment. You're better off by yourself if it means greater peace and safety. Don't justify yourself to anyone, especially that tool!
She forgot to mention the cats. It's "me, myself, I, and the cats..." (I know from personal experience. And that experience is limited to one cat for me.)
@I am Negan Trolls never admit theiy're trolls. Neither you nor I know the details of her relationship. I DO know she never said he was awful, etc. etc. And she is being very adult in her videos.
I’m a single happily divorced mom, whose also a teacher. The majority of my co workers are married, I hear this stuff all the time. When I hear these things you spoke of I just get up and walk out of the room. I’m also the only single person in my family! Glad to know I’m not alone and the feelings I have are normal!
Try being one who never married or had kids trying to be part of the 50's -60's age group. Everyone has kids, grandkids, and here I am, just.....me. The kids part I never wanted, but it still stings that love never happened for me.
When I was a wee little boy, my grandfather said something that, since then, I've heard hundreds of people saying to this day. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything. " To this day, I even catch myself saying it to my children. However, there are people who, as you've just stated, don't realize what they're saying or how they're saying it. Even with the best intentions.
I absolutely loved this video. I also am divorced. I recently had a young woman, also divorced, tell me that she had gone to a wedding reception by herself. She felt uncomfortable, because some of the other women, with their husbands, or significant other, kind of gave her the numbs rush. I told her that I used to call that, divorce disease. Women that I had known for years, did that to me. Finally, I decided that I was not going to go to another wedding reception by myself. Why would women that I know, think that I would be after their partners. I have more morales than that.
Divorced Mayim, I'm on the same wavelength being Divorced Carol. I have the added issue of being an introvert single mom and the majority of my friends are extrovert married moms. They mean well, but sometimes they just don't get it.
Introverts are the most on point... don't outsource your autonomy to anyone or anywhere else... i would say that is why anxiety and depression are so epidemic 😃 bring it back home! 😂
@@dublinphotoart Oh, I'm a pretty feisty introvert with my friends, they know I'll tell them when they've gone to far, but their suggestions for "getting out there" and dating in general are kind of totally not going to work for me. They don't quite get the power of quiet. ;)
I'm a man that is divorced. She left when I wasn't dying fast enough from the effects of stage 4 advanced ancer and the treatments. They gave me 5 years to live in 2008 but somehow I fight to hard to let some little desiease do me in!! But I didn't have to worry about support because they are grown. But you do have a small advantage over most divorced women from your screen time pay which should last a while! And from future jobs!! But stay the hello away from on line dating! Don't go looking Go shopping, the park, even many gay men use them for picking up other men so use caution there! And public forums such as a parade, street fest, a county fair, the pool or beach. Ok you are a mother but so what? Wear the suit of choice and just wait!! Yes you have the stigma of being a star so please stay away from other stars as how many famous ppl stayed married?? Good luck M and be safe! BTW I'm avaliable as a FWOB if needed! That is if a 64 year old cancer and brain surgery with 2 silly speaking bit parts in B cheap flicks that paraglides, rides motorcycles, fly's sport and stunt kites, is retired at times and drives a truck still when called on or actually still alive and not giving up any time soon!! But remember, love doesn't happen in 2 Texts or on one date!! Let it come to you as you ARE a catch Mayim Blue Sky's and Safe Journeys!
"I need some practice being in the world and not in my pajamas!" YES. Same, girl. Same. I'm 29 and I've essentially been a social hermit since college (3 cheers for social anxiety, ASD and being highly introverted!), so I've never actually dated anyone. I need all the help. LOL
I play roleplaying games to get out of the house [PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder (MOD), and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ... and I'm currently wearing ear defenders because my cat is screaming his head off, he's 18 I am trying to wait him out], the local game store hosts and I have a good table that I feel comfortable at and so don't notice how crowded and loud it is, I play a few home games as well. If you have a girls night only kicking around your local area I would recommend that to start, but once you are comfortable with the system feel free to go anywhere. I know of at least one person that is completely non-functional, but she makes it to conventions to play Pathfinder. ruclips.net/video/srsSEIb-Bw4/видео.html
I divorced in my late 30s and remarried a few yrs later. Fast forward 10 yrs and we are still going strong. He is more needy than I am and he tends to call me a lot. I was at the bank when my phone rang and it was my hubby for the 5th time that day. I grumbled about it and my banker said this... You know my husband died and I'd give anything to say he calls me too much :( I promised her I'd never do that again and would be grateful for his calls to say hi what's up how's your day 💜
Thank you for that comment. My husband does this, too, and though he does it out of love, I'm often grouchy with him because I'm in the middle of something when he calls to chat. I'll remember your bank teller from now on, and cherish those calls.
hello!!, I'm widower and i will love to know you well and i will glad to see your reply, if you don't mind say 'Hi' and here is my hangout id: devis.us.contact@gmail.com
I became a WIDOW at 32. With a 3yr old. You wouldn't believe how people go about THAT. Once someone (a woman) said: "Be glad you are single. Nothing but hussle with men". Or: "You have 100% now for the child". WHAT?! He was 100 and I was 100! I had 200%! Yes there certainly a r e things to better think about twice before opening one's mouth. Speak less, feel more, defend never, praise always... ;-)
Mayim, thank you for sharing your heart. I definitely share all of your thoughts. I am divorced as of July 2013. The covenant that we entered in on my wedding day was something that I did with all my heart and soul. I did not believe in divorce. Yet, here I am. There is something about the divorce that still troubles me. I still feel puzzled that a court of law can dissolve a marriage. It's so sterile. Just a function or a process to go through. But, it does not pay any respect to what I entered into that is now gone. There needs to be some kind of ceremony within the church that recognizes the struggle of severing the covenant. Some sort of touch that recognizes the agony and comforts the soul. God bless you every moment that goes by. Singleness is not a place we ever thought we'd be. Best wishes to us as we live life to the fullest with those people who are happy to be in our lives!
joyce okayi ❤️ It is comforting to know you and others have these same thoughts. This week I am getting comfort and insight from the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference." From my nurse's training, I learned about Ross's stages of Grieving. I've traversed all but acceptance. This prayer resonates with me and gives me a thrill to think that maybe Serenity is within my grasp. God bless us!
Lora Campbell, yes, thank you so much for your sweet comment. Congratulations and God truly bless you with your new husband! I did visit my church last week and spoke my heart about divorce with my pastor. He was so receptive and will be praying about what we might do; a prayer, a laying on of hands, recitation of some comforting verses? Nothing firmly planned yet, but it was wonderful to leave it in his hands to ponder and pray about.
Julie Butler I would love to hear what happens. I know people who are struggling through divorce now, and wonder if a ceremony that recognizes both and ending and a new beginning would be healing.
God that's how I feel right now. I took time to raise my son who has disabilities. Now I find myself heartbroken daily that I didn't date, im never gonna be married. I don't understand how I didnt think about that the whole time I was raising my son. And that I missed getting married young when I looked my best. I know it sounds selfish. ❤
@@nikkib5753 Hey don't be so hard on yourself. You raised a kid with special needs all on your own. That is badass in my book. Any woman that can take that on and not brake is a goddess that any person should be lucky to date let alone meet.
@@victoriademizer2659 thank you for such heartfelt words. I am literally crying as I write this. You really touched my heart because never one time did I think about what it means that I took that time to raise my son. I was so focused on him and his needs and working full time to support us that I truly had no time to date and no desire because I didn't want a man to come into my son's life who didn't understand my son or would resent my son and how he acted. I also didn't want to be unfair to a man by always putting my son first. So I made the decision to wait till he turned 21 then i would worry about me. Well my son will be 21 in 6 months. In those 20 years I never went out. I remained abstinent. I will be 47. Now I will say take a look at my pic. That was taken last summer. The oldest age anyone has guessed I am is 26. Everywhere I go with my son people do not believe he's my son. They think I'm his girlfriend. So maybe somehow God rewarded me in that he kept me youthful looking. But truth is, I feel worthless. I always dreamed of a wedding. I know I'm too old now. I mean who's gonna want to marry me, and love/accept my son? But your words really mean so much in this time where I'm so hard on myself and cry almost nightly at the thought of growing old alone when I think I have so many good qualities to offer. Thank you for taking the time to write words of encouragement. I'm truly touched.
@@nikkib5753 In round about way I feel the same. For nearly 15 years I had to take care of my father. He was seriously injured in a car accident when I was 21. I moved back home from college shortly after he was let out of the hospital. And up till 2 months ago most of my life was carrying for him and working. I did try to date here and there but no one could handle the fact that lifestyle was complicated so I ended up single within a handful of months. My last partner made it the hardest since she meet and knew how hard my home life was but still left me. Now my father has passed on and it's just me and my mom...two women growing older and wondering if it's worth starting over with love. I'm not sure of myself but I want the best for my mom and I want her to be happy even if it's just her with herself. So no matter what comes at you after this point keep going. You might get a chance to meet an amazing mam that understands your son and wants to be a let life dad. Hell my dad was my stepdad and I loved the man like crazy. He came in to my mother's life when she was a single mom of 3 and kind of hot mess in her 30s. You will find that dorky loving man that will smile at you from over the front yard fence and ask you out.
@@nikkib5753 You're a warrior, baby! You've overcome a lot to get this far. Please remember that in your dark moments. Give yourself a pat on the back for all you have done. Realise that your best years may yet be around the corner. You've got a lot of life still to live. And you do look young for your age. That's quite common for aspies. Have you looked into that possibility? ruclips.net/video/wfOHnt4PMFo/видео.html
I used to watch Blossom with my oldest daughter. When you joined big bang I knew it would be a better show because of you. We loved you then and now, hope you find that perfect someone soon :)
I'm not divorced but I'm a widow and I can't stand when people say you are young go look for someone else instead of being supportive. I'm 51 years old and was married for 18 year's and my husband aka soulmate passed away almost 4 years ago due to negligence of Drs. Some so called friends that I don't speak to anymore have said just get over it and move on. For me personally a part of me died with him and it will only be complete when many years from now to reunite with my husband in heaven. Mayiam you are amazing and a great speaker with great advice. Many blessings to you and your family 💗
That really stinks, I'm sorry you had to go through that my dear. You shouldn't feel the need to move on for the sake of others, if you ever feel you want to, that's great, if you don't want to, also great. No one should take a partner just for the sake of not being alone, I FULLY support that. I wish you the best on your journey.
YES! Not just divorced but any woman over 40 that is single. When my sin was young I devoted myself to being his mother, not dating or meet new people...or any person not associated with my son’s activities. As he grew, off to college I found myself to be...lost! Now my son has graduated college, I’m in my mid 40’s and completely clueless; it is also quite scary. I appreciate knowing I’m not alone in this craziness ❤️
@Mikie E , sometimes people are forced into situations that are the exact opposite of what they wanted - - people are lied to , and very often misled , especially by sympathetic motivations , and they find themselves stuck in a room with a monster !
Ironic, I was abused by Christian parents. Mum was Disciples of Christ and into Order Of The Eastern Star.... Dad, was Holocaust denial Lutheran Missouri Synod..
People used to say that to me, although I would feel soooo satisfied being away from that sad relationship... That's something I would never consider as "care"! People who wanted me to get together to that horrible person again would never be people that loved me!
@@paulapazyamor4893 Some guys are real jerks, and its the wife that suffers. As a kid, growing up, Mom and Dad fought over money, and got into thousands of dollars in credit card debt. I grew up with the yelling, screaming, door slamming, and associated that as 'part-of-normal-accepted' marriage.
@@paulapazyamor4893 Lot of times, people say so many lies, they don't know the truth. I'd rather be good friends, and if she wants to communicate her feelings so be it, if not, so be it.. 50/50.. It's about communication and respect. Love-Honor-Respect is a two way street. Without both and spiritual respect, both man, woman and kids suffer. Be Kind, Truthful, be True! Lies, Deception and Cruelty will make matters worse. Both man and woman. :'(
@@lawnmowermanTX sorry about this! I mean, Ive been there too, fighting and shouting were part of our "family song", and I assumed that that behavior was acceptable... well, that's why I've accepted my first husband too🤔🤦🏽♀️ so, I totally believe you
You are so strong and inspiring. I always watch your videos when I start to lose motivation and they always give me the motivation I need to keep going. I hope to one day be as strong and well spoken as you are.
yeah, almost 40, single, without kids, never been married, successful, independent.......my favorites: "It is probably your fault, you scare them away", "you are running out of time"
@@marianajauregui1797 To find a man and to be what every woman is supposed to be: mother. Nah...I don't believe it, that's just what ppl mean when they say that.
44 single never been married, I get a bit tired of hearing "Your such a nice guy you'll find someone". I'm beginning to feel as if its a punchline to a joke I'm not aware of. I have no constructive advice, just saying your not alone!
June Coen no kidding. Even other divorced people say things that make you wonder “ did I hear that right”? My own mom divorced twice tells me on the day I left my husband “this is the hardest thing you are ever going to have to do. Take it from a two time looser like me.” Uh hey mom, does that make me a one time looser because Gee thanks...
Although I have never been married-I think so much of this still rings true for a single person. I am in my mid-30s with no kids and most people around me are with someone with kids. Many times I am not included. Thanks for sharing!
I was divorced in my late thirties and had three sons. I kept hearing, (mainly from older women), that I might as well be content with the idea of being single, since my age and having kids was no magnet for the opposite sex. A year later, (quite by accident), I met a wonderful man, who I have now been married to for over 30 years. So age and motherhood should never stand in your way, if you want to have another relationship.
I am 30 years old and I am about to divorce, it is difficult at the beginning, like everyone saying "you will be fine" "you are a great person", it is difficult, but in the end you know that you will be fine, and even if you miss your partner, you are realizing that what you really miss are the moments that both shared together, thank you Mayim for your videos, you make a better day for me when I see your videos 😉
This was wonderful to watch to know that other people have these feelings. I'm not divorced personally, but I am childless, and have tons of feelings that you mentioned about when people complain about their pregnancy or their kids. I understand there are things that are unpleasant in those situations, but maybe around me is not the time to talk about it. Like I know you are feeling incredibly nauseous right now, but I would give anything to be able to feel nauseous for that reason. I'm not saying I would like the feeling, but hearing you complain about something that is evidence of you having what I don't is difficult. So thank you for shedding light on these types of situations in adulthood. After all, people don't know what they don't know.
While watching this I thought of my friend who is childless. I feel bad saying positive things about parenting and my kids because I know she wants kids, so I always try to minimize being a mom. It's a tough position to be in a place that you don't want to be (childless, single, divorced, etc.) I'm pretty sure I haven't always said the right things and I feel bad for it.
@@theroadnottaken7 truthfully, I would rather see the people around me enjoying their life! Yes find other things to talk about with your friend for sure. Talk about other roles and Joyce and frustrations in your life for sure. But it's not bad to act like you enjoy your family. It's much more frustrating when you complain about it or try to make it sound not as good. We know being a mom is rewarding, so when someone tries to act like it's just a headache, it's like, I feel patronized. We all say the wrong things sometimes, but the fact that you care is what matters! You could probably even ask her. Everyone is different! For me, I have the hardest time with pregnancy. What's somebody's child is born, I can have my own relationship with that child and see them as their own person. I'm not always relating it to so and so is your mom. I get to be Aunt Diana, or Miss Diana, or something special to them too. So I can be more okay with that. The. Before I have a relationship with the kid, when only their mom does, that's the point when it's starkly obvious to me that I'm missing out. I can help my best friends take care of their kids, take some to the store, change their diaper, go to the park with them, put them to sleep. But I can't carry and nurse them. That's when I'm reminded that it's not the same at all. Don't get me wrong, I know being a mom is very different than my role. But it's the reminder that's hard.
I love this! I was divorced for almost 20 years. I agree with every single point that you made. Why wouldn't someone think of inviting you because you're not a 'couple'? Brilliant. I also know that eye tic you get when someone is complaining about hubby's back hair. It's like try being in my shoes; alone with a child who has the stomach flu and you can't even get to the store. In my head I remember thinking guess what, chica? I think maybe you're having a humble brag moment. And dare I say sounding a little petty? Don't do the stay in pajama mode thing. You're a fascinating, funny, brave person who happens to be a Mom. Be as nice to yourself as you would be to a good friend. Plan a day that you would for a recently divorced friend. Then do it for yourself. Buy art. Order food in. Decide you're worth three hours sitting on the patio reading. And pffft to anyone who thinks you have to be a couple. Yes, I know it's lonely sometimes. Okay, maybe more than sometimes. Is it a positive experience in the end? More than anything.
5:02 - I can only imagine how tough it can be having to share your children, not being able to be with them through all parts of their lives because of divorce and joint custody. But when you are feeling down or depressed when they are not there, just think how blessed you are that at some point they will be back home and that you'll be able to cherish (both the good and bad LOL) of them being there. For some of us, we will never know the joys of parenthood, despite how much we wanted it in life.
Thank you for your video. I’m 39, divorced with two children I raise alone. There is a lot of stigma and sometimes bad feelings towards a divorced mom. It’s so comforting to know I’m not alone!
I'm divorced! And I like it.:) My marriage was terrible! My ex wife was deceitful. My only fault was being a poor money manager. I didn't cheat, gamble or do drugs. She cheated within the first two years. She got herself to puking drunk several times. She ran up credit card bills to spite me. So being divorced is fine with me. Being married to an unsuitable partner is far worse!:)
@I am Negan I am a proud single mom doing the work of two parents and 4 grandparents all by myself and with a full time job. Is there a single mom in Your life? Ex wife maybe? Your comment was insulting to all the women out there busting tail to make sure that their children grow up to know not to play with people like you.
I think it's really cool, that you as a celebrity ( who I've watched since the blossom days lol) is so open. I see you as a person and not just some famous person. Wishing you the best. Very eye opening stuff. #newsubscriber.
Does it bother anyone else constantly being called "Mrs", once you're no longer married? I reverted to my maiden name, so when that happens I feel like they're talking about my mum! I also find it hard when others complain about their spouse, as my partner left because I became chronically ill and disabled. The lack of emotional support, companionship and hugs is really difficult. I think the hardest part is losing intimacy, the kind borne of seeing each other daily, sharing every day moments, plans for the future and just being best friends.
Yes! I’ve never been married nor have kids, and it really irks me when people call me “Mrs.” instead of “Miss”. When they do, I always politely correct them. I know it seems kinda petty, because there are worse things people could call me.
I'm sorry that your special someone was too shallow to accept that you needed them more than ever and turned their back on you when you needed their supportive love. That has happened to me so I know what that feels like. (At least I know what it felt like for me). My late wife treated me that way when I was going through painful surgery. Later I endured a loveless marriage with her. When she was diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 lung cancer, I stayed with her in the way she refused to stand by me in my troubles. I nursed her right through hospice and to the end. I did it to be true to Myself, as much as to be true to her and our vows. I know that what I did was right and no one can take that away. No regrets. I pray you find someone who deserves you.
As a single parent, I take things so so slow with anyone when it comes to dating. Love and logistics just seem to become a nightmare the older you get. I feel once you have gone through certain things you don't want to just run in and fail all over again that is for sure. Find your people, take your time, hope you find the path that works for you. You are awesome!
Thank you so much! I felt like I was talking! My ex left last March so it’s almost been a year. I feel and think and also hear everything you say all the time. And at this moment my kids are with their dad and I cry and cry for them! It’s not something I wanted but like you said, it’s a path I’ve been placed on.
I've 56 and never been married. I'm a single mum who basically got kinda engaged and never made it to the altar. When I say I'm single, it's assumed I'm divorced and when I say 'no I've never been married' they look at me with that pitied look on their face followed by 'wow you're so lucky!' Really?
I don't bother clarifying with people that I've never been married. It's honestly none of their business whether I've been married or not, I don't need their pity and not being married does not lessen the difficulties as a single mother or consequences on my child's upbringing. People still see marriage as a symbol of status, which is archaic. The last thing we need in this world is more judgement, seriously.
I was barren, single by choice till age 42, I worked and that's all I did ... I worked and I worked out. I loved my own company, as I'm an only child. As long as I had a dog and a cat, I was all good. Then "he" came ... painted a "picture" ... the wedding happened, the ring given... and it alllll changed.... a complete 180°. I honored my commitment to remain in covenant with him through Christ... I put up with much, working the whole time in a different city, 4hr round trip drive... elder parent care in the home, cleaning, cooking, farm hand-ing, dealing with an extremely difficult adult step-(monster)daughter .. 14 years. On a Wednesday I was "best friend" and he "loves me SOOOOOO much". Thursday it was over. This is my unfortunate and very painful experience. I'm a "never say never" gal ... I'll N E V E R do that again. If your situation changes and a suitor arrives that you feel is compatible. Make sure to keep him/her at an arm's length until you feel, prayerfully, that you know them. Don't give in to the flesh.... the devil lives there.
I often feel really relieved that I'm single (never been married) when people complain about spouses. Although often I find that divorced people find new partners faster than single people.3 friends I had who were divorced found new partners in less than a year after their separation from spouses. There's whole dating site just for divorced people. Also I find that about 7 times out of 10 when I have tried dating sites, the older men are all divorced. (I'm almost 40) I have almost no desire to have a partner. I'm far too used to being single. I love my free tiime.
I'm happily married and I still can't stand when we hang out with people, and the wives go one way to gripe about husbands, and they go do the same. Seems crummy that they people feel the need to complain about their significant other to friends and family. Even if my husband does something that annoys me, I don't run to other people to talk about it. I see it as very rude and disrespectful. Anyway, not sure why I felt the need to say that. I wish you the best, and hope that even through the rough spots you have love through your friends, family, and kids. Take care!
My ex girlfriend still has the same attitude that she can do and say whatever she wants, yet STILL complains the fuck if other people do the same thing that she just did! And her new friends seem to take it and be A okay with it. (Like she's the princess AND the boss, ALL THE TIME!) But I'm not.... I hate it... Not sure, why I felt the need to say that either....
hello!!, I'm widower and i will love to know you well and i will glad to see your reply, if you don't mind say 'Hi' and here is my hangout id: devis.us.contact@gmail.com
Thank you for this! I am divorced too and got a lot you mentioned to hear myself....puuuh...but i was lucky to meet someone else and i am no single anymore. I am from Germany and i love how very clear you talk so its easy for me to understand every word you are saying. Thanks for that too!! You seem to be a very relaxed and funny person and i like to watch your videos. Go on and i whish you all the best!!
hi, dear it a pleasure to meet you..i got attracted by your beautiful profile you are truly beautiful my name is doctor daccord yves i'm from switzerland i have been divorced over six years ago i have three beautiful daughthers i am interested in serious relationship hope we can get to know each other if you don,t mind?
Mayim, you are definitely a beautiful, thoughtful woman. Any guy would be blessed to navigate life with you. I agree. Don't settle for less than you deserve.
Much of this applies to being a still-single woman at nearly 46! Granted, I don't have children in the equation, but my life stage is so vastly different than my friends and family that I often feel very much alone in my experience.
I can only imagine what you're going through, and it doesn't sound like an easy life transition in the slightest. Stay strong, sending much love and good wishes your way. Hugs Mayim. ❤
Mayim, thank you for sharing some of the pain points of being divorced. I also feel a lot of what you talked about but never could have articulated the struggles as well as you did. Now I am feeling less alone. Thanks again.
Hi, I'm 41yrs old and i have nerve been married spent most of my time working and building myself financially I work offshore so it's hard getting into a relationship Feel free to drop a mail olivermiller487@gmail.com
I got divorced last year and your videos help me feel less alone too, so thank you. It’s definitely not easy and I am still struggling to find ways to put myself out there and meet new people. And even though I’m younger I also don’t get the appeal of “have sex with someone you meet online”. (Which has also been suggested to me) So maybe we’re both out of touch... but really I just think, as a divorced woman, we know the value of a loving relationship and “just sex” doesn’t really hold much appeal 🤷🏻♀️. I hopes this helps you feel just a little bit less alone. Thank you for your videos 💕
hello!!, I'm widower and i will love to know you well and i will glad to see your reply, if you don't mind say 'Hi' and here is my hangout id: devis.us.contact@gmail.com
I love when you said you're still finding yourself and learning about yourself. It's what everybody should do till death. Life is all about learning and discovering new aspects of yourself. I've learned a lot about myself just in the last couple of years, more than I've ever done when I was younger. Love you, Mayim
definitely can relate! .. I get this one a lot> " You are so kind, smart & beautiful. I just don't understand why are you still single!" ... UGH! I don't know Susan, maybe I am overqualified!
I agree with your explanation that you might be impressing your own loneliness into the situation, but sometimes you just want to be able to talk about your S.O. with people that can offer advice or, like you said, camaraderie and bonding over shared experiences. No one means to be hurtful in those situations. Also I heard from my divorced father that one of the best things to do is to spend time getting to know yourself again after a divorce and part of that is to spend some valuable time alone, but also to know that alone doesn’t have to mean lonely.
Newly a widow.. I can identify with what your are saying but I see one more issue.. the fear of "can any relationship work since I thought the first one would?"
hello!!, I'm widower and i will love to know you well and i will glad to see your reply, if you don't mind say 'Hi' and here is my hangout id: devis.us.contact@gmail.com
Mayim! You are a great communicator and thinker. I am sure there is someone out there for you. I am not trying to be nice or silly, I do believe this. Back to your video, you are right on point on the 5 points. I was divorced and got the 5 comments, did not help. I am married now. And still kind of keep my life to myself. Wowed by how many people are willing to be on your case or feel they need to share all their thoughts on your life. Ha,ha! I am older and have grown a little bit of thicker skin kustba little. Keep speaking up! You bring so much relief on topics I wish I could express and communicate but I do not. But you do in a particular nice and respectful way. You do a great job.
Mayim, I divorced in my mid 20's, met my current husband in my early 40's and wed in my early 50's. This marriage is wonderful (and my 60 plus year old hubby has a back like a 19 year old boy- magnificent!) My point is that it's never too late. Thank you for sharing your insight and frustration!
Well for some people that moment never comes. Like for either of my divorced parents. When I'm told "it's never too late" it makes me angry because it's not helpful. In theory I know that and if that was gonna make me feel better, I'd be feeling good already. It's just such a generalised statement like "after rain there's shine". That doesn't move anyone's world either. No offence, I'm sure you're a lovely lady and wish you and your husband well. Just food for thought from someone in Mayims shoes
@@annnee6818 I am genuinely sorry- I didn't mean to strike a nerve. When I hit my 40's I'd pretty much given up on the whole idea of "domestic happiness," thought it was quite silly, in fact. Went on to live my life, unencumbered by romance, until suddenly, it was. But I do see your point- yes, for many, sadly, it doesn't happen. I believe that Mayim, an intelligent, caring, thoughtful, successful, attractive, and articulate woman, won't have to deal with the hurdles that many face; her hurdles will more probably be associated with her publicity. I wish to thank you, for succinctly pointing out the flaw in my response, without resorting to (the common RUclips reaction of) name calling or invective. I wish you well!
Hugs to you first! I got divorced just as I touched 30 without any kids and I guess my experiences would be different but the sense of being a social misfit was absolutely the same. I just couldn’t get back in touch with a couple of school friends who were on a birthing spree...our journeys and mindset’s were so different! Yet I processed and managed my emotional health really really well and moved into a really healthy space after the initial years of setback, failure and me being a ‘have not’. Actually being divorced never even formed part of my identity because my ex was completely out of the picture and I cherished the privileges of an unmarried life! I think if we give it enough time, healing finds us in unexpected ways and new paths open up...you rock sister...loved the video and love you ❤️
Thank you for this video. I’m 49 this year and hubby threw me aside for a new one who doesn’t see the rotten fruit. Those suggestions are harsh and I’m weary of it. Plus, I’m not a sex outside of marriage person so, yeah.
I'm not divorced, but I am a widow. I was widowed at 39. A lot of this stuff applies to me too. I am also a single mom.
Andgela Middleton--That is very true. However, people seem to be more sensitive to the pain of a widow than that of a divorcee. The stages of grief remain the same; the healing process still takes the same amount of time (according to some psychologists, it takes about six months for every year of marriage). www.webmd.com/balance/normal-grieving-and-stages-of-grief www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/how-long-does-grief-last
I was widowed at 42, with a 21 month old son. I always stressed that I was a WIDOWED mom, yet was consistently viewed as a "single parent," complete with rude, demeaning comments regarding my "life choices." I found there was far more support for "single moms" than for widows. I felt invisible, because it was "too uncomfortable" to speak with a widow. I had to pick up, pack up and move 75 miles away from my family and support system, as our residence was part of my husband's salary package.
Please don't assume that widowed moms receive "more sympathy."
I have a friend who was recently widowed, 4 months ago, and has an 11 year old son. I’m amazed at how many people ask her how it happened. My friend is too polite to say she’d rather not talk about it and every time when she tells the story she almost breaks down. I’m not sure Mayim has the knowledge to do a video on what not to say to widows but I believe it would be helpful.
One MercilessMing - I certainly hope you’re wrong about the timing on this (six months for every year of marriage). That means it’s going to take me 15 years to go through the healing process after losing my husband of 30 years?
Judi Hughes First, I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you have been through. Second, I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, because I am genuinely curious.
You say there is far more support for "single moms" than widows, but also comment that people mistook you for one and were rude and and made demeaning comments about life choices. It sounds like "single moms" get some pretty terrible treatment. Who is giving them support and why not widows?
I am not a divorced woman, I am not even married, but I do appreciate these videos because it allows me to understand a different mindset . I would never want to insult or hurt anyone with my words, so it's actualy really helpful.
I'm very happy to see a fellow greek person watching her videos! I was just thinking "I wish more greek people knew her" and then saw your name!
@@dorotheat.3990 I thought so too! :)
feminists arent woman
Hi, I am not greek but I like greek people, my bf is from Greece. I am Mexican.
@@nenisguevaragomez8122 hello my friend. I don't know any mexican people but I am sure they must be really nice :)
I got divorced a year ago at the age of 37. It was horribly painful. The comment I hated most was "At least you two didn't have children, that makes it so much harder. " I understood the sentiment but as a woman approaching 40 and always wanted a child this was a punch in the gut every time I heard it.
Hello
How are you?
😭😭😭😭
Same thing happen with me too
@@Asmita_A_S hello
I had a doctor that can restore your broken relationship
ah... same story, we are twins (in this aspect) :) I fear if I will ever find love, marriage or have children.
I'm a divorced guy and stumbled across this video anticipating a male-bashing and having one more brick removed from the foundation of what little faith I have left in humanity (the result of online dating). Let me just say that it was wonderful and welcome to hear you share your perspectives.. They feel the same as those of us who are male and divorced. While I would never get back together with my Ex (of over two decades), I still love her on some level and the emptiness left by the loss of a lifetime of sharing is painful and can never be gotten back - even if I do meet someone amazingly special at some point. My life is what it is because I grew through my formative years with my Ex. It feels like an insurmountable challenge to take this very crystalized personality that is me, and try to sell it on the open market. Therapy helps, but how much of our quirky personalities can we really unravel? We are who we are, and matching that fully-formed person to other similarly fully-formed people out there is what I think the never-divorced just cannot even begin to understand. I have seen the passing of family, close friends and pets and nothing ever prepared me for the emotional loss or the difficulty of attempting to start again so late in life. When people downplay the situation with benignly-ignorant optimism, it usually just makes things feel far worse. Thank you again for taking the time to make this video. It's nice to not feel so alone.
Well thought out and stated. Asa widowed man starting again after losing a lovely wife of 36 yrs, breaking up w a npd woman of 5 years, this is refreshing to hear. Tnx doc!
Can totally relate. Divorced for 30 years from an abusive relationship. But refused to sell myself short. My newest mantra from an 80 yo single woman...... it's better to be single than to wish you were!
keep on coping, we all tell ourselves things just so we feel we're ok looooool
I'm going through exactly the same thing... And it was a 15 year old relationship, half my life... which is making everything more difficult for me even if it was a abusive relationship
No single woman wants to hear, "You are so amazing, there is someone perfect, wonderful, worthy of you." It is a nice sentiment, but the bottom line is, that is not true. There is not a "lid for every pot." Some people are an omelette pan.
Love your metaphor
@@ayelitasiddiqui4663 Thanks!
Helli
I'm interested Marry with you
I worry more that “you are amazing” will lead a woman to turn down really good guys and never accept a man.
I am also in my 40s and divorced. I'm not gonna lie, when I hear people complaining about their husbands it kinda makes me glad I don't have one.
@@user-bk2oj4vk4b yes
different people different coping strategies dont compare your self, all the things she mentioned was general
Hello Danica
Hi
Hello, I am Hussein from Egypt, I am 27 years old, looking for a husband
Dear married/dating/engaged/promiscuous friends acquaintances and strangers,
I don't want to be in a relationship right now. No, I am not afraid that I'm going to dry up if I don't have sex. In fact, I'm fine with not having sex at this point.
Thank you for your concern,
McKenna
P. S. No thank you. I'm not interested in hearing how much sex my ex is having.
I was divorced at age 42 after 20 years, then was greatly blessed with a wonderful second wife 2 years later. Unfortunately, 3 days before our second anniversary, she died from a stroke. I felt the divorce was more painful because it was a choice whereas death was definitely not. Being widowed with step children and complicated relationship with an ex-husband was very challenging.It has been 17 years and I don't have great advice or wisdom to share. I wish you the best and hope you find happiness with or without someone.
Divorce is definitely more hurtful, because it's basically rejection. I always look at divorce and breakups as opportunities to explore new people and recreate my life. It's actually quite exciting. Plus, usually the thing people can't get past isn't the ex, themselves, so much as what they represent.
Ok
I never cared for women complaining about husbands. It's just plain disrespectful. I'd be heartbroken if I knew my husband spoke about me that way ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It is really bad for your relationship to complain about him to others- in public or in private. It changes the way they interact with him, and more importantly, it affects how you view and interact with him.
same! when I was married I refused to speak poorly of my husband. even divorced I won't speak poorly about him. He is the father of my children and it would hurt them if I spoke poorly of their father.
@@techwoman2 Exactly. After I divorced, I refused to say anything negative about my ex in front of our kids. Their dad is a good man, just a feckless husband and lousy with money. I always made sure that the kids knew that I thought their dad was a good man and that I knew that he loved them, and that we wanted them to grow up as happy as could be.
After she was married, my oldest told me privately that she understood, and that she was glad when I left because we were both so unhappy. And she appreciated that I tried so hard to be good to their dad.
And he is an excellent grandpa. :-)
I hate when even preachers make “wife” jokes! It makes me so mad. I’ve told more than 1 that it’s low and that if her cooking (or whatever) is that bad that he should learn how... watch the food network
Oh that is awful! I don't recall ever hearing one of my pastors do that which I'm thankful for. I'd have a hard time trusting them if they talked about their spouses that way.
I also hate when people say "yea marriage requires alot of work" when I tell them I'm divorced. I'm thinking yes It does especially when only one is putting forth effort.
The women always say they were the only one trying
@@1dilligaf well in some cases it is true.
Hi how are you I m young man single 33 year
00923128530492pakiastan
I'm interested Marry with you dear
as a divorced man the comment i hear most often is “what did you do that made her divorce you”
Even my mom asked me that.
@@johnfic4751 Moms can be really precioussss sometimes.
Usually all are at some sort of fault. Divorced myself. He drank and hit me but, I should have left with my self respect intact. 28 years divorced and just got to tap into his retirement. Satisfying! LOL...
Yeah it’s not always the guys fault.
Sometimes it's no ones fault
Totally agree with you. I am 54 and have been separated for over a year now. I was married for almost 27 years and it’s now over. This time of my life is hard.
I'm sorry that is very hard at that age. Not saying that your life is over at all!!! But having a life with someone and then ending, in a bad or good way, is hard! Specially with kids (and pets!!!) I've only been separated for over two years and I miss married life and honestly stinks.
You're not alone!!
Liza Gervais you aren’t alone
I know what your going through I got Divorced after 30 years and I am 54 and people say oh after all those you still couldn’t make a go of it.l was in a physical and mental abuse marriage and it took years to break away and try to rebuild my life and work on my self and heal. It’s getting better after almost 3 years now.
@@lauramclaine504 Whomever made that comment to you needs to go jump in a lake! They're clueless. Forget their judgment. You're better off by yourself if it means greater peace and safety. Don't justify yourself to anyone, especially that tool!
May you find peace and happiness!
“Yes. I do have a lot of time alone. Just me, myself and I.” *blinks* I’m living😂
She forgot to mention the cats. It's "me, myself, I, and the cats..." (I know from personal experience. And that experience is limited to one cat for me.)
@@jackielinde7568 We've got a mom cat and her six kittens right now. Fosters, not our pets.
Aww. This made me teared.
@I am Negan You go right back to being a trolling jerk, chuckles.
@I am Negan Trolls never admit theiy're trolls. Neither you nor I know the details of her relationship. I DO know she never said he was awful, etc. etc. And she is being very adult in her videos.
I’m a single happily divorced mom, whose also a teacher. The majority of my co workers are married, I hear this stuff all the time. When I hear these things you spoke of I just get up and walk out of the room. I’m also the only single person in my family! Glad to know I’m not alone and the feelings I have are normal!
Proud of you ..how's you doing ..were are you from ?
Try being one who never married or had kids trying to be part of the 50's -60's age group. Everyone has kids, grandkids, and here I am, just.....me. The kids part I never wanted, but it still stings that love never happened for me.
Me too.
Same.
It's never too late. Your love may be just around the corner! ❤
I do not envy you...
@@laurafrey5244 I'm trying to decipher whether that's intelligent sarcasm or you read the comments without watching the video😂😂😂
When I was a wee little boy, my grandfather said something that, since then, I've heard hundreds of people saying to this day. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything. " To this day, I even catch myself saying it to my children. However, there are people who, as you've just stated, don't realize what they're saying or how they're saying it. Even with the best intentions.
Check out a certain f'ing loser on this comment page.
I absolutely loved this video. I also am divorced. I recently had a young woman, also divorced, tell me that she had gone to a wedding reception by herself. She felt uncomfortable, because some of the other women, with their husbands, or significant other, kind of gave her the numbs rush. I told her that I used to call that, divorce disease. Women that I had known for years, did that to me. Finally, I decided that I was not going to go to another wedding reception by myself. Why would women that I know, think that I would be after their partners. I have more morales than that.
Divorced Mayim, I'm on the same wavelength being Divorced Carol. I have the added issue of being an introvert single mom and the majority of my friends are extrovert married moms. They mean well, but sometimes they just don't get it.
Hey! Nice to see another Arizona person here. I'm down in Phoenix. BTW, saw the video and left a thumbs up.
Introverts are the most on point... don't outsource your autonomy to anyone or anywhere else... i would say that is why anxiety and depression are so epidemic 😃 bring it back home! 😂
@@dublinphotoart Oh, I'm a pretty feisty introvert with my friends, they know I'll tell them when they've gone to far, but their suggestions for "getting out there" and dating in general are kind of totally not going to work for me. They don't quite get the power of quiet. ;)
@@jackielinde7568 AZ is one of my favorite places to be. Phoenix, not so much. It gets WAY to hot down there. But, rock on AZ peeps, rock on! ;)
I'm a man that is divorced. She left when I wasn't dying fast enough from the effects of stage 4 advanced ancer and the treatments. They gave me 5 years to live in 2008 but somehow I fight to hard to let some little desiease do me in!!
But I didn't have to worry about support because they are grown.
But you do have a small advantage over most divorced women from your screen time pay which should last a while!
And from future jobs!!
But stay the hello away from on line dating!
Don't go looking
Go shopping, the park, even many gay men use them for picking up other men so use caution there!
And public forums such as a parade, street fest, a county fair, the pool or beach. Ok you are a mother but so what? Wear the suit of choice and just wait!!
Yes you have the stigma of being a star so please stay away from other stars as how many famous ppl stayed married??
Good luck M and be safe! BTW I'm avaliable as a FWOB if needed! That is if a 64 year old cancer and brain surgery with 2 silly speaking bit parts in B cheap flicks that paraglides, rides motorcycles, fly's sport and stunt kites, is retired at times and drives a truck still when called on or actually still alive and not giving up any time soon!!
But remember, love doesn't happen in 2 Texts or on one date!!
Let it come to you as you ARE a catch Mayim
Blue Sky's and Safe Journeys!
"I need some practice being in the world and not in my pajamas!" YES. Same, girl. Same. I'm 29 and I've essentially been a social hermit since college (3 cheers for social anxiety, ASD and being highly introverted!), so I've never actually dated anyone. I need all the help. LOL
Plenty of people in their pajamas at Walmart.....
I play roleplaying games to get out of the house [PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder (MOD), and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) ... and I'm currently wearing ear defenders because my cat is screaming his head off, he's 18 I am trying to wait him out], the local game store hosts and I have a good table that I feel comfortable at and so don't notice how crowded and loud it is, I play a few home games as well. If you have a girls night only kicking around your local area I would recommend that to start, but once you are comfortable with the system feel free to go anywhere. I know of at least one person that is completely non-functional, but she makes it to conventions to play Pathfinder. ruclips.net/video/srsSEIb-Bw4/видео.html
@@FtonDavid but wait, what's up with the cat? I have an almost 17 year old, and when she cries I better be running serving her every demand ... 😅
I'm 28 and never dated, I am asexual so that might explain some of it. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone! :)
I'm 62, divorced, very lonely, I have two great supportive sons, but so much of this applies to me.
I divorced in my late 30s and remarried a few yrs later. Fast forward 10 yrs and we are still going strong. He is more needy than I am and he tends to call me a lot. I was at the bank when my phone rang and it was my hubby for the 5th time that day. I grumbled about it and my banker said this... You know my husband died and I'd give anything to say he calls me too much :( I promised her I'd never do that again and would be grateful for his calls to say hi what's up how's your day 💜
Thank you for that comment. My husband does this, too, and though he does it out of love, I'm often grouchy with him because I'm in the middle of something when he calls to chat. I'll remember your bank teller from now on, and cherish those calls.
@@eledatowle7128 I'm happy to help 🙏 Everytime he calls and I'm busy her voice and the look on her face overwhelm me 💚
OMG I instantly started crying in a crowded lobby reading this!
Stephanie Farrah honestly, it’s great that it forced you not to take things for granted, but someone else’s experience doesn’t negate your own!
hello!!, I'm widower and i will love to know you well and i will glad to see your reply, if you don't mind say 'Hi' and here is my hangout id: devis.us.contact@gmail.com
I became a WIDOW at 32. With a 3yr old. You wouldn't believe how people go about THAT. Once someone (a woman) said: "Be glad you are single. Nothing but hussle with men". Or: "You have 100% now for the child". WHAT?! He was 100 and I was 100! I had 200%! Yes there certainly a r e things to better think about twice before opening one's mouth. Speak less, feel more, defend never, praise always... ;-)
Mayim, thank you for sharing your heart. I definitely share all of your thoughts. I am divorced as of July 2013. The covenant that we entered in on my wedding day was something that I did with all my heart and soul. I did not believe in divorce. Yet, here I am. There is something about the divorce that still troubles me. I still feel puzzled that a court of law can dissolve a marriage. It's so sterile. Just a function or a process to go through. But, it does not pay any respect to what I entered into that is now gone. There needs to be some kind of ceremony within the church that recognizes the struggle of severing the covenant. Some sort of touch that recognizes the agony and comforts the soul. God bless you every moment that goes by. Singleness is not a place we ever thought we'd be. Best wishes to us as we live life to the fullest with those people who are happy to be in our lives!
Julie Butler its like you opened my heart n soul read right frm in there. Am so glad am not nuts to feel the things i feel abt ths.
joyce okayi ❤️ It is comforting to know you and others have these same thoughts. This week I am getting comfort and insight from the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference." From my nurse's training, I learned about Ross's stages of Grieving. I've traversed all but acceptance. This prayer resonates with me and gives me a thrill to think that maybe Serenity is within my grasp. God bless us!
How beautifully said. I am divorced, remarried now, but you said everything I felt both then and now so well.
Lora Campbell, yes, thank you so much for your sweet comment. Congratulations and God truly bless you with your new husband! I did visit my church last week and spoke my heart about divorce with my pastor. He was so receptive and will be praying about what we might do; a prayer, a laying on of hands, recitation of some comforting verses? Nothing firmly planned yet, but it was wonderful to leave it in his hands to ponder and pray about.
Julie Butler I would love to hear what happens. I know people who are struggling through divorce now, and wonder if a ceremony that recognizes both and ending and a new beginning would be healing.
I'm with you on the don't leave us out of the party. I've had that happen to me more than once and it hurts.
These could also apply for those of us single gals that have never been married as well.
God that's how I feel right now. I took time to raise my son who has disabilities. Now I find myself heartbroken daily that I didn't date, im never gonna be married. I don't understand how I didnt think about that the whole time I was raising my son. And that I missed getting married young when I looked my best. I know it sounds selfish. ❤
@@nikkib5753 Hey don't be so hard on yourself. You raised a kid with special needs all on your own. That is badass in my book. Any woman that can take that on and not brake is a goddess that any person should be lucky to date let alone meet.
@@victoriademizer2659 thank you for such heartfelt words. I am literally crying as I write this. You really touched my heart because never one time did I think about what it means that I took that time to raise my son. I was so focused on him and his needs and working full time to support us that I truly had no time to date and no desire because I didn't want a man to come into my son's life who didn't understand my son or would resent my son and how he acted. I also didn't want to be unfair to a man by always putting my son first. So I made the decision to wait till he turned 21 then i would worry about me. Well my son will be 21 in 6 months. In those 20 years I never went out. I remained abstinent. I will be 47. Now I will say take a look at my pic. That was taken last summer. The oldest age anyone has guessed I am is 26. Everywhere I go with my son people do not believe he's my son. They think I'm his girlfriend. So maybe somehow God rewarded me in that he kept me youthful looking. But truth is, I feel worthless. I always dreamed of a wedding. I know I'm too old now. I mean who's gonna want to marry me, and love/accept my son? But your words really mean so much in this time where I'm so hard on myself and cry almost nightly at the thought of growing old alone when I think I have so many good qualities to offer. Thank you for taking the time to write words of encouragement. I'm truly touched.
@@nikkib5753 In round about way I feel the same. For nearly 15 years I had to take care of my father. He was seriously injured in a car accident when I was 21. I moved back home from college shortly after he was let out of the hospital. And up till 2 months ago most of my life was carrying for him and working. I did try to date here and there but no one could handle the fact that lifestyle was complicated so I ended up single within a handful of months. My last partner made it the hardest since she meet and knew how hard my home life was but still left me. Now my father has passed on and it's just me and my mom...two women growing older and wondering if it's worth starting over with love. I'm not sure of myself but I want the best for my mom and I want her to be happy even if it's just her with herself. So no matter what comes at you after this point keep going. You might get a chance to meet an amazing mam that understands your son and wants to be a let life dad. Hell my dad was my stepdad and I loved the man like crazy. He came in to my mother's life when she was a single mom of 3 and kind of hot mess in her 30s. You will find that dorky loving man that will smile at you from over the front yard fence and ask you out.
@@nikkib5753 You're a warrior, baby! You've overcome a lot to get this far. Please remember that in your dark moments. Give yourself a pat on the back for all you have done. Realise that your best years may yet be around the corner. You've got a lot of life still to live. And you do look young for your age. That's quite common for aspies. Have you looked into that possibility? ruclips.net/video/wfOHnt4PMFo/видео.html
I used to watch Blossom with my oldest daughter. When you joined big bang I knew it would be a better show because of you. We loved you then and now, hope you find that perfect someone soon :)
How are you doing
I'm not divorced but I'm a widow and I can't stand when people say you are young go look for someone else instead of being supportive. I'm 51 years old and was married for 18 year's and my husband aka soulmate passed away almost 4 years ago due to negligence of Drs. Some so called friends that I don't speak to anymore have said just get over it and move on. For me personally a part of me died with him and it will only be complete when many years from now to reunite with my husband in heaven. Mayiam you are amazing and a great speaker with great advice. Many blessings to you and your family 💗
Caroline Santos I fully suppot you. If and when one should move on from a lost love, is one’s own choice!
Have you heard of the ball and the box analogy of grief? It think it's very fitting. themighty.com/2018/12/ball-box-analogy-grief/
That really stinks, I'm sorry you had to go through that my dear. You shouldn't feel the need to move on for the sake of others, if you ever feel you want to, that's great, if you don't want to, also great. No one should take a partner just for the sake of not being alone, I FULLY support that. I wish you the best on your journey.
Hello Caroline
My divorce is final today, so perfect timing! This video is very fitting for my life moving forward after today. Thank you, Mayim!
All the best to you :)
YES! Not just divorced but any woman over 40 that is single. When my sin was young I devoted myself to being his mother, not dating or meet new people...or any person not associated with my son’s activities. As he grew, off to college I found myself to be...lost! Now my son has graduated college, I’m in my mid 40’s and completely clueless; it is also quite scary. I appreciate knowing I’m not alone in this craziness ❤️
I was divorced and I completely agree with everything you said, I felt left out a lot because I was single.
BEING ALONE IS BETTER
THAN BEING WITH SOMEONE THAT MAKES YOUR SKIN CRAWL !
@Mikie E , sometimes people are forced into situations that are the exact opposite of what they wanted - - people are lied to , and very often misled , especially by sympathetic motivations , and they find themselves stuck in a room with a monster !
@Mikie E , not necessarily ! people sin , and some have limited intelligence and a complete lack of ethics or morals ! and some are very able liars !
@Mikie E sometimes people change. you change. the other one does. love is just over. never heard of that?
X X or being with someone who makes you feel alone.
@@karenkernell9405 , YES ! - or someone who's there only to watch and ridicule , and looking for material to twist and gossip about !
"I'll pray for your marriage to reconcile"-every Christian we knew together... like no please dont he was abusive and I'm happy alone
Ironic, I was abused by Christian parents. Mum was Disciples of Christ and into Order Of The Eastern Star.... Dad, was Holocaust denial Lutheran Missouri Synod..
People used to say that to me, although I would feel soooo satisfied being away from that sad relationship... That's something I would never consider as "care"! People who wanted me to get together to that horrible person again would never be people that loved me!
@@paulapazyamor4893 Some guys are real jerks, and its the wife that suffers. As a kid, growing up, Mom and Dad fought over money, and got into thousands of dollars in credit card debt. I grew up with the yelling, screaming, door slamming, and associated that as 'part-of-normal-accepted' marriage.
@@paulapazyamor4893 Lot of times, people say so many lies, they don't know the truth. I'd rather be good friends, and if she wants to communicate her feelings so be it, if not, so be it.. 50/50.. It's about communication and respect. Love-Honor-Respect is a two way street. Without both and spiritual respect, both man, woman and kids suffer. Be Kind, Truthful, be True! Lies, Deception and Cruelty will make matters worse. Both man and woman. :'(
@@lawnmowermanTX sorry about this! I mean, Ive been there too, fighting and shouting were part of our "family song", and I assumed that that behavior was acceptable... well, that's why I've accepted my first husband too🤔🤦🏽♀️ so, I totally believe you
"I need practice being out and not in my pajamas..."
Yesssss - Me too!♡♡♡
Oh really?
Hey...
You are so strong and inspiring. I always watch your videos when I start to lose motivation and they always give me the motivation I need to keep going. I hope to one day be as strong and well spoken as you are.
yeah, almost 40, single, without kids, never been married, successful, independent.......my favorites: "It is probably your fault, you scare them away", "you are running out of time"
Camilla45713 out of time for what?!
@@marianajauregui1797 To find a man and to be what every woman is supposed to be: mother.
Nah...I don't believe it, that's just what ppl mean when they say that.
44 single never been married, I get a bit tired of hearing "Your such a nice guy you'll find someone". I'm beginning to feel as if its a punchline to a joke I'm not aware of. I have no constructive advice, just saying your not alone!
What a wasted life..your doing something wrong
@@thomaskelly336 ohh what a wonderful person you are....
My parents divorced when I was 12 and the things people said to me AND my mom, I thought WHY would you say that?!
June Coen no kidding. Even other divorced people say things that make you wonder “ did I hear that right”? My own mom divorced twice tells me on the day I left my husband “this is the hardest thing you are ever going to have to do. Take it from a two time looser like me.” Uh hey mom, does that make me a one time looser because Gee thanks...
Although I have never been married-I think so much of this still rings true for a single person. I am in my mid-30s with no kids and most people around me are with someone with kids. Many times I am not included. Thanks for sharing!
Me too
Same
Same! It can be quite painful. But I'm trying to have faith that our happy endings are just around the corner
I was divorced in my late thirties and had three sons. I kept hearing, (mainly from older women), that I might as well be content with the idea of being single, since my age and having kids was no magnet for the opposite sex. A year later, (quite by accident), I met a wonderful man, who I have now been married to for over 30 years. So age and motherhood should never stand in your way, if you want to have another relationship.
Congratulations!! Victory!! I love that you found someone who deserves you.
If a guy is scared off by kids, he probably isn't someone you'd want around your kids anyway.
Hello
Hope you found the one you love, maybe i might be the lucky one
I am 30 years old and I am about to divorce, it is difficult at the beginning, like everyone saying "you will be fine" "you are a great person", it is difficult, but in the end you know that you will be fine, and even if you miss your partner, you are realizing that what you really miss are the moments that both shared together, thank you Mayim for your videos, you make a better day for me when I see your videos 😉
Luis Hrnndz Sanchez it’s the line I wanted to say.. so true. Same here divorce in 29. Those comments sometime kills me..
This was wonderful to watch to know that other people have these feelings. I'm not divorced personally, but I am childless, and have tons of feelings that you mentioned about when people complain about their pregnancy or their kids. I understand there are things that are unpleasant in those situations, but maybe around me is not the time to talk about it. Like I know you are feeling incredibly nauseous right now, but I would give anything to be able to feel nauseous for that reason. I'm not saying I would like the feeling, but hearing you complain about something that is evidence of you having what I don't is difficult. So thank you for shedding light on these types of situations in adulthood. After all, people don't know what they don't know.
I am divorced and childless.....so hard to find friends who are not married and do not have kids.
While watching this I thought of my friend who is childless. I feel bad saying positive things about parenting and my kids because I know she wants kids, so I always try to minimize being a mom. It's a tough position to be in a place that you don't want to be (childless, single, divorced, etc.) I'm pretty sure I haven't always said the right things and I feel bad for it.
I’m am so sorry, all I can say is don’t give up, it took my husband 4 years to conceive
@@theroadnottaken7 truthfully, I would rather see the people around me enjoying their life! Yes find other things to talk about with your friend for sure. Talk about other roles and Joyce and frustrations in your life for sure. But it's not bad to act like you enjoy your family. It's much more frustrating when you complain about it or try to make it sound not as good. We know being a mom is rewarding, so when someone tries to act like it's just a headache, it's like, I feel patronized. We all say the wrong things sometimes, but the fact that you care is what matters! You could probably even ask her. Everyone is different! For me, I have the hardest time with pregnancy. What's somebody's child is born, I can have my own relationship with that child and see them as their own person. I'm not always relating it to so and so is your mom. I get to be Aunt Diana, or Miss Diana, or something special to them too. So I can be more okay with that. The. Before I have a relationship with the kid, when only their mom does, that's the point when it's starkly obvious to me that I'm missing out. I can help my best friends take care of their kids, take some to the store, change their diaper, go to the park with them, put them to sleep. But I can't carry and nurse them. That's when I'm reminded that it's not the same at all. Don't get me wrong, I know being a mom is very different than my role. But it's the reminder that's hard.
SinginginD I’ll make sure and avoid people like this then. Walking on egg shells so I don’t “offend” someone with my pregnancy woes. 🙄
I love this! I was divorced for almost 20 years. I agree with every single point that you made. Why wouldn't someone think of inviting you because you're not a 'couple'? Brilliant. I also know that eye tic you get when someone is complaining about hubby's back hair. It's like try being in my shoes; alone with a child who has the stomach flu and you can't even get to the store. In my head I remember thinking guess what, chica? I think maybe you're having a humble brag moment. And dare I say sounding a little petty?
Don't do the stay in pajama mode thing. You're a fascinating, funny, brave person who happens to be a Mom. Be as nice to yourself as you would be to a good friend. Plan a day that you would for a recently divorced friend. Then do it for yourself. Buy art. Order food in. Decide you're worth three hours sitting on the patio reading. And pffft to anyone who thinks you have to be a couple. Yes, I know it's lonely sometimes. Okay, maybe more than sometimes. Is it a positive experience in the end? More than anything.
Thank you! being a 40 year old divorced mother of 2 myself, I very much appreciate this!!
5:02 - I can only imagine how tough it can be having to share your children, not being able to be with them through all parts of their lives because of divorce and joint custody. But when you are feeling down or depressed when they are not there, just think how blessed you are that at some point they will be back home and that you'll be able to cherish (both the good and bad LOL) of them being there. For some of us, we will never know the joys of parenthood, despite how much we wanted it in life.
Thank you for your video. I’m 39, divorced with two children I raise alone. There is a lot of stigma and sometimes bad feelings towards a divorced mom. It’s so comforting to know I’m not alone!
I'm divorced! And I like it.:) My marriage was terrible! My ex wife was deceitful. My only fault was being a poor money manager. I didn't cheat, gamble or do drugs.
She cheated within the first two years. She got herself to puking drunk several times. She ran up credit card bills to spite me.
So being divorced is fine with me. Being married to an unsuitable partner is far worse!:)
My wife's first husband was not of sterling character.
Same husband was a bipolar cheater with a spending habit
I really don't like when people call me a 'single' mom. I am just a mom, whether that is married, single, divorced, widowed, I am JUST a MOM.
PotterFan394007 I called myself a single Mom when I was raising my 6 yr old daughter after my divorce
@I am Negan You piece of shit!
I am Negan
Where did you get that weird twisted idea?
Being a single Mom means you are the only to clean and do every other thing
@I am Negan I am a proud single mom doing the work of two parents and 4 grandparents all by myself and with a full time job. Is there a single mom in Your life? Ex wife maybe? Your comment was insulting to all the women out there busting tail to make sure that their children grow up to know not to play with people like you.
@I am Negan thank the lord that you are not procreating. You are just a woman hater.
Almost spit out my coffee when you said "I need practice of being out in the world and not in my pajamas." 😂😂
Hy
Hello good morning how are you doing I'm divorce I'm searching and give me your WhatsApp number so that we can chat there+1 2058294646
Hey...
I think it's really cool, that you as a celebrity ( who I've watched since the blossom days lol) is so open. I see you as a person and not just some famous person. Wishing you the best. Very eye opening stuff. #newsubscriber.
She is indeed pretty bad-ass ❤.
Does it bother anyone else constantly being called "Mrs", once you're no longer married? I reverted to my maiden name, so when that happens I feel like they're talking about my mum!
I also find it hard when others complain about their spouse, as my partner left because I became chronically ill and disabled. The lack of emotional support, companionship and hugs is really difficult. I think the hardest part is losing intimacy, the kind borne of seeing each other daily, sharing every day moments, plans for the future and just being best friends.
Saskia Grace yes! I think the same!
Yes! I’ve never been married nor have kids, and it really irks me when people call me “Mrs.” instead of “Miss”. When they do, I always politely correct them. I know it seems kinda petty, because there are worse things people could call me.
I'm sorry that your special someone was too shallow to accept that you needed them more than ever and turned their back on you when you needed their supportive love. That has happened to me so I know what that feels like. (At least I know what it felt like for me). My late wife treated me that way when I was going through painful surgery. Later I endured a loveless marriage with her. When she was diagnosed with inoperable stage 4 lung cancer, I stayed with her in the way she refused to stand by me in my troubles. I nursed her right through hospice and to the end. I did it to be true to Myself, as much as to be true to her and our vows. I know that what I did was right and no one can take that away. No regrets. I pray you find someone who deserves you.
It’s not much better being a divorced man. I really miss my daughter.
Got u
I'm so sorry to hear you can't see your daughter
I was waiting for "fun with flags" but this is also good 😂❤️
Same
Is that Amy Fara Fowler?
@@timothyhaskell8262 yep
You do know that she’s a real adult woman, right?
I am a divorced man, and these apply to me as well. Thank you for sharing this video.
They would do... what's good for the goose... 😕
As a single parent, I take things so so slow with anyone when it comes to dating. Love and logistics just seem to become a nightmare the older you get. I feel once you have gone through certain things you don't want to just run in and fail all over again that is for sure. Find your people, take your time, hope you find the path that works for you. You are awesome!
Great video. I would add, "So, what is your ex doing?" or "Have you heard from your ex?" Sheesh, people can be so thoughtless!
J. M. They are not thoughtless. They know exactly what they’re doing, but pretend that it’s just an innocent question. Keep distance from them.
Thank you so much! I felt like I was talking! My ex left last March so it’s almost been a year. I feel and think and also hear everything you say all the time. And at this moment my kids are with their dad and I cry and cry for them! It’s not something I wanted but like you said, it’s a path I’ve been placed on.
Hello Christina
Christina Lincheck,you deserve a good man!
So inspiring and uplifting to see successful women sitting together relating and giving positive advice ✨
I've 56 and never been married. I'm a single mum who basically got kinda engaged and never made it to the altar.
When I say I'm single, it's assumed I'm divorced and when I say 'no I've never been married' they look at me with that pitied look on their face followed by 'wow you're so lucky!'
Really?
Same here! And, to be honest I'm happy that things didn't work out for me. Your ex is an ex for a reason!
I don't bother clarifying with people that I've never been married. It's honestly none of their business whether I've been married or not, I don't need their pity and not being married does not lessen the difficulties as a single mother or consequences on my child's upbringing. People still see marriage as a symbol of status, which is archaic. The last thing we need in this world is more judgement, seriously.
I was barren, single by choice till age 42, I worked and that's all I did ... I worked and I worked out. I loved my own company, as I'm an only child. As long as I had a dog and a cat, I was all good.
Then "he" came ... painted a "picture" ... the wedding happened, the ring given... and it alllll changed.... a complete 180°.
I honored my commitment to remain in covenant with him through Christ... I put up with much, working the whole time in a different city, 4hr round trip drive... elder parent care in the home, cleaning, cooking, farm hand-ing, dealing with an extremely difficult adult step-(monster)daughter .. 14 years.
On a Wednesday I was "best friend" and he "loves me SOOOOOO much".
Thursday it was over.
This is my unfortunate and very painful experience.
I'm a "never say never" gal ... I'll N E V E R do that again.
If your situation changes and a suitor arrives that you feel is compatible. Make sure to keep him/her at an arm's length until you feel, prayerfully, that you know them. Don't give in to the flesh.... the devil lives there.
Hello AussieAnnie
Hello, I am Hussein from Egypt, I am 27 years old, looking for a husband
I often feel really relieved that I'm single (never been married) when people complain about spouses. Although often I find that divorced people find new partners faster than single people.3 friends I had who were divorced found new partners in less than a year after their separation from spouses. There's whole dating site just for divorced people. Also I find that about 7 times out of 10 when I have tried dating sites, the older men are all divorced. (I'm almost 40) I have almost no desire to have a partner. I'm far too used to being single. I love my free tiime.
Are you an aspie? They usually crave solitude to rest and recover from the craziness of the world. ruclips.net/video/wfOHnt4PMFo/видео.html
Good on you Cindy! You sound like you have your sh** together. There are worse things in this life than being single
Hello Cindy
Love your energy, your enthusiasm, your candor and your insights. Thanks for sharing and teaching.
I'm happily married and I still can't stand when we hang out with people, and the wives go one way to gripe about husbands, and they go do the same. Seems crummy that they people feel the need to complain about their significant other to friends and family. Even if my husband does something that annoys me, I don't run to other people to talk about it. I see it as very rude and disrespectful.
Anyway, not sure why I felt the need to say that. I wish you the best, and hope that even through the rough spots you have love through your friends, family, and kids. Take care!
My ex girlfriend still has the same attitude that she can do and say whatever she wants, yet STILL complains the fuck if other people do the same thing that she just did! And her new friends seem to take it and be A okay with it. (Like she's the princess AND the boss, ALL THE TIME!) But I'm not.... I hate it...
Not sure, why I felt the need to say that either....
Kary Francisco true, you break trust when you do things like this
I agree with you about friends with benefits. It's not my cup of tea either.
It almost always NEVER works.
thank you for making this video!! these are things that go unnoticed all the time unless someone steps up and shares them!
hello!!, I'm widower and i will love to know you well and i will glad to see your reply, if you don't mind say 'Hi' and here is my hangout id: devis.us.contact@gmail.com
Thank you for this! I am divorced too and got a lot you mentioned to hear myself....puuuh...but i was lucky to meet someone else and i am no single anymore. I am from Germany and i love how very clear you talk so its easy for me to understand every word you are saying. Thanks for that too!! You seem to be a very relaxed and funny person and i like to watch your videos. Go on and i whish you all the best!!
Hi how are you
I always say "Congratulations, Its brave to take the step to a new beginning."
That's good!
I find that cringey. Might not work in every situation.
Sadly, only those who've been through it are capable of understanding the grief of an unwanted divorce. Best wishes for your health and happiness. X
Sooo true
I'm interested Marry with you
i suspected my man was cheating on me so I used @hackcrone an ethical hacker on Instagram to spy on his account.
Hi
Hello, I am Hussein from Egypt, I am 27 years old, looking for a husband
Honestly, I truly think that every man would be blessed to have you in his life. You are so amazing, charming and inspiring.
Love from Italy 🤗
But how does a man who moved to LA who has a couple of million, an excellent salary from his investments meet Mayim? It does not seem likely.
hi, dear it a pleasure to meet you..i got attracted by your beautiful profile you are truly beautiful my name is doctor daccord yves i'm from switzerland i have been divorced over six years ago i have three beautiful daughthers i am interested in serious relationship hope we can get to know each other if you don,t mind?
OMG! Get out of my head! This was both hilarious and SOOOOO true. Great Job.
It was hilarious and true Karen.
YESSSS! as a divorcee myself, i TOTALLY LOVE that you articulate so many of my thoughts, feelings, experiences, and i feel less alone! xoxoxo
Mayim, you are definitely a beautiful, thoughtful woman. Any guy would be blessed to navigate life with you. I agree. Don't settle for less than you deserve.
Don't dwell on those who have let you
down, cherish those who hold you up
Thanks for opening up - I never thought about these and what message they're actually sending.
Much of this applies to being a still-single woman at nearly 46! Granted, I don't have children in the equation, but my life stage is so vastly different than my friends and family that I often feel very much alone in my experience.
Thank you for sharing . I am the same , I know how you feel.
I can only imagine what you're going through, and it doesn't sound like an easy life transition in the slightest. Stay strong, sending much love and good wishes your way. Hugs Mayim. ❤
Mayim, thank you for sharing some of the pain points of being divorced. I also feel a lot of what you talked about but never could have articulated the struggles as well as you did. Now I am feeling less alone. Thanks again.
They really hate it when you tell them " no wonder you're divorced"
Hi
It shows them others can’t handle them either which is a slap in the face lol
Mayim, just know that an eighteen year old girl from Greece admires you so much!
Love watching you sharing your opinion on stuff. Keep on rocking😘
I love your talks. As a divorced mom I right there with you!
Hi, I'm 41yrs old and i have nerve been married spent most of my time working and building myself financially I work offshore so it's hard getting into a relationship
Feel free to drop a mail olivermiller487@gmail.com
Stacy French,you got a lovely smile!
If I find out someone is recently divorced, I usually say, “congratulations, or condolences whichever the case may be”
That's so smart!
You should say that to recently married people too.
or just say that to everyone 🤣
I love this!!! So true thank you for speaking truths, takes the sting out just a bit knowing I’m not alone 💔
Hello Samiam
These examples are applicable for any single person. Happy and single here 😊
Keep doing what you're doing -- you're saving hearts, lives, sanity & souls so "Thank You!" for all you do... In Love & Light :)
I got divorced last year and your videos help me feel less alone too, so thank you. It’s definitely not easy and I am still struggling to find ways to put myself out there and meet new people. And even though I’m younger I also don’t get the appeal of “have sex with someone you meet online”. (Which has also been suggested to me) So maybe we’re both out of touch... but really I just think, as a divorced woman, we know the value of a loving relationship and “just sex” doesn’t really hold much appeal 🤷🏻♀️.
I hopes this helps you feel just a little bit less alone. Thank you for your videos 💕
I'm sorry hun but I hope things get easier for you.
Will you marry me
hello!!, I'm widower and i will love to know you well and i will glad to see your reply, if you don't mind say 'Hi' and here is my hangout id: devis.us.contact@gmail.com
Hello Jessica
Thank you, I am married and sometimes I don't appreciate my husband like I should. You made some very good points.
Literally the only thing I miss about being married is the extra income.
BAH!HAHAHA!!!!
Spot on, outside of that being married is more work than it’s worth.
Best advice...
Don't listen to anyone.
Pray and follow your ❤️
When you least expect it.....BAM!
God is faithful!
You sound guilty
I love when you said you're still finding yourself and learning about yourself. It's what everybody should do till death. Life is all about learning and discovering new aspects of yourself. I've learned a lot about myself just in the last couple of years, more than I've ever done when I was younger. Love you, Mayim
definitely can relate! .. I get this one a lot> " You are so kind, smart & beautiful. I just don't understand why are you still single!" ... UGH! I don't know Susan, maybe I am overqualified!
"Maybe I'm overqualified." Oh my gosh, I love that.
Hello Joy
Being alone is better than being with someone yet feeling the loneliest person in the world
Hello Olive
So true!
Hello
How are you?
Mayim, yes girl! It is so nice to know I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing.
I agree with your explanation that you might be impressing your own loneliness into the situation, but sometimes you just want to be able to talk about your S.O. with people that can offer advice or, like you said, camaraderie and bonding over shared experiences. No one means to be hurtful in those situations. Also I heard from my divorced father that one of the best things to do is to spend time getting to know yourself again after a divorce and part of that is to spend some valuable time alone, but also to know that alone doesn’t have to mean lonely.
Hi
Newly a widow.. I can identify with what your are saying but I see one more issue.. the fear of "can any relationship work since I thought the first one would?"
hello!!, I'm widower and i will love to know you well and i will glad to see your reply, if you don't mind say 'Hi' and here is my hangout id: devis.us.contact@gmail.com
Hello there
You are not alone, your videos have helped me through my most difficult times. Thank-you.
Mayim! You are a great communicator and thinker. I am sure there is someone out there for you. I am not trying to be nice or silly, I do believe this.
Back to your video, you are right on point on the 5 points. I was divorced and got the 5 comments, did not help. I am married now. And still kind of keep my life to myself. Wowed by how many people are willing to be on your case or feel they need to share all their thoughts on your life. Ha,ha! I am older and have grown a little bit of thicker skin kustba little.
Keep speaking up! You bring so much relief on topics I wish I could express and communicate but I do not. But you do in a particular nice and respectful way. You do a great job.
You are not alone and thank you for your videos! I loved them! I'm also divorced and I've shared your videos with my ex-wife. 😊
I'm single, and some of these things can be some things not to say to single women. Great video.
Molly Canton,you deserve better
Mayim, I divorced in my mid 20's, met my current husband in my early 40's and wed in my early 50's. This marriage is wonderful (and my 60 plus year old hubby has a back like a 19 year old boy- magnificent!) My point is that it's never too late. Thank you for sharing your insight and frustration!
Well for some people that moment never comes. Like for either of my divorced parents. When I'm told "it's never too late" it makes me angry because it's not helpful. In theory I know that and if that was gonna make me feel better, I'd be feeling good already. It's just such a generalised statement like "after rain there's shine". That doesn't move anyone's world either. No offence, I'm sure you're a lovely lady and wish you and your husband well. Just food for thought from someone in Mayims shoes
@@annnee6818 I am genuinely sorry- I didn't mean to strike a nerve. When I hit my 40's I'd pretty much given up on the whole idea of "domestic happiness," thought it was quite silly, in fact. Went on to live my life, unencumbered by romance, until suddenly, it was.
But I do see your point- yes, for many, sadly, it doesn't happen. I believe that Mayim, an intelligent, caring, thoughtful, successful, attractive, and articulate woman, won't have to deal with the hurdles that many face; her hurdles will more probably be associated with her publicity.
I wish to thank you, for succinctly pointing out the flaw in my response, without resorting to (the common RUclips reaction of) name calling or invective. I wish you well!
😵who cares about your husband's back, that's your business and nobody cares🖕
@@marycoogan4534 I mentioned it as a counter-point to Mayim's observation of married women complaining about their husband's smelly feet.
Hugs to you first! I got divorced just as I touched 30 without any kids and I guess my experiences would be different but the sense of being a social misfit was absolutely the same. I just couldn’t get back in touch with a couple of school friends who were on a birthing spree...our journeys and mindset’s were so different! Yet I processed and managed my emotional health really really well and moved into a really healthy space after the initial years of setback, failure and me being a ‘have not’. Actually being divorced never even formed part of my identity because my ex was completely out of the picture and I cherished the privileges of an unmarried life! I think if we give it enough time, healing finds us in unexpected ways and new paths open up...you rock sister...loved the video and love you ❤️
Just got a divorce today. It's true. Thank you for creating this video. I find it uplifting even
You are beautiful Leticia
Thank you for this video. I’m 49 this year and hubby threw me aside for a new one who doesn’t see the rotten fruit. Those suggestions are harsh and I’m weary of it. Plus, I’m not a sex outside of marriage person so, yeah.