Here's How Trump Spends 60% Of His Day

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  • Опубликовано: 10 фев 2019
  • Donald Trump took to Twitter during his 'Executive Time' to explain how he spends his 'Executive Time.'
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Комментарии • 2,1 тыс.

  • @DylanJamesCabo
    @DylanJamesCabo 5 лет назад +593

    Stephen reading Trump's tweets never gets old 😂

    • @MRayner59
      @MRayner59 5 лет назад +44

      Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Classic.

    • @DylanJamesCabo
      @DylanJamesCabo 5 лет назад +9

      @@MRayner59 foreal 😂 they made a dot dot dot clip a while ago of all of them, but I can't find it

    • @mypillowguy445
      @mypillowguy445 5 лет назад +7

      @@DylanJamesCabo Great, now I have spend the next hour looking for that clip 😂

    • @darkpepsi
      @darkpepsi 5 лет назад +10

      I always hear Stephen’s voice and pointing every time Drumpf poop tweets. 😂

    • @sontelena8818
      @sontelena8818 5 лет назад +5

      @@mypillowguy445 for real!! Same here.

  • @claudetteholloway1126
    @claudetteholloway1126 5 лет назад +274

    Who else likes the way Stephen says "Dot, dot, dot???

    • @seaperu1
      @seaperu1 5 лет назад +7

      he doesn't say it as much as he acts '' dot, dot, dot ''

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 5 лет назад +5

      Tickles me every time. 😁

    • @lesleyleith4440
      @lesleyleith4440 4 года назад +4

      csea peru DAHT, DAHT DAHT DAHT .😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @vernafoster6012
      @vernafoster6012 4 года назад +1

      He is so good at it..

    • @OphiuchiChannel
      @OphiuchiChannel 4 года назад

      Someone should do a compilation of all his dhat daht dhaaats

  • @MissBlueEyeliner
    @MissBlueEyeliner 5 лет назад +4

    That Star Wads reference, I love when Stephen geeks out a little 😂💕

  • @smirk-in-progress4800
    @smirk-in-progress4800 5 лет назад +68

    I'm 34... I have four presidents in my memory. 2 Democrats that were at least well-spoken and seemed intelligent during speeches... And 2 Republicans that seemed like total idiots. *SMH*

    • @JohnSmith-fe5br
      @JohnSmith-fe5br 5 лет назад +23

      For those interested in some history and don't remember past Presidents, who's more corrupt in Congress between the Republicans and the Democrats?
      When comparing criminal indictments of those serving in the executive branch of presidential administrations it's so lopsided as to be ridiculous.
      So why don't we break it down by president and the numbers?
      Obama (D) - 8yrs in office. zero criminal indictments, zero convictions, and zero prison sentences. so the next time somebody describes the Obama administration as "scandal free" they aren't speaking wishfully, they're simply telling the truth.
      Bush, George W. (R) - 8yrs in office. 16 criminal indictments. 16 convictions. 9 prison sentences.
      Clinton (D) - 8yrs in office. 2 criminal indictments. one conviction. one prison sentence. that's right nearly 8yrs of investigations. tens of millions spent and 30yrs of claiming them the most corrupt ever and there was exactly one person convicted of a crime.
      Bush, George H. W. (R) - 4yrs in office. one indictment. one conviction. one prison sentence.
      Reagan (R) - 8yrs in office. 26 criminal indictments. 16 convictions. 8 prison sentences.
      Carter (D) - 4yrs in office. one indictment. zero convictions and zero prison sentences.
      Ford (R) - 2 1/2 yrs in office. one indictment and one conviction. one prison sentence. Pardoned Richard Nixon.
      Nixon (R) - 6yrs in office. 76 criminal indictments. 55 convictions. 15 prison sentences.
      Johnson (D) - 5yrs in office. zero indictments. zero convictions. zero prison sentences.
      So, let’s see where that leaves us. in the last 53 years Democrats have been in office for 25 of those years while Republicans held it for 28. In their 25yrs in office Democrats had a total of three executive branch officials indicted with one conviction and one prison sentence. That's one whole executive branch official convicted of a crime in two and a half decades of Democrat leadership.
      In the 28yrs that Republicans have held office over the last 53yrs they have had a total of (a drum roll would be more than appropriate), 120 criminal indictments of executive branch officials. 89 criminal convictions and 34 prison sentences handed down. That's more prison sentences than years in office since 1968 for Republicans. If you want to count articles of impeachment as indictments (they aren't really but we can count them as an action), both sides get one more.
      However, Clinton wasn't found guilty while Nixon resigned and was pardoned by Ford. So, those only serve to make Republicans look even worse.
      With everything going on with Trump and his people right now, it's a safe bet Republicans are gonna be padding their numbers a bit real soon.

    • @DeeJayFM
      @DeeJayFM 5 лет назад +2

      @@JohnSmith-fe5br neat

  • @artbyjes
    @artbyjes 5 лет назад +253

    The Trump Method: 1.) Create problem. 2) Pretend you’ve solved problem. Repeat, alternating with KFC and hamberder executive snack time.

  • @BookishNaiad
    @BookishNaiad 5 лет назад +124

    Amidst all the 45 jokes, I truly love the digs at Mike Pence.

    • @CloudsGirl7
      @CloudsGirl7 5 лет назад +6

      In all the horrors he would cause, were he allowed, he certainly doesn't deserve to be forgotten...

    • @clairduffy60
      @clairduffy60 5 лет назад

      @@CloudsGirl7 Who??

    • @chrissiek8706
      @chrissiek8706 5 лет назад +4

      @@clairduffy60 the white shadow of Trump

  • @moewilson4605
    @moewilson4605 5 лет назад +25

    A national emergency but time for a rally and a game of golf.

  • @pdoylemi
    @pdoylemi 5 лет назад +193

    *_"Don't take vacations. What's the point? If you're not enjoying your work, you're in the wrong job. -- Think Like A Billionaire"_* - Donald Trump.
    We agree Donald - you're in the wrong job, so why don't you just quit already? If you took any more time off, White House staff would forget what you look like.

    • @bosslady1914
      @bosslady1914 5 лет назад +1

      He's exactly where he's meant to be, and he'll be there a while. :)

    • @daviddelaney2407
      @daviddelaney2407 5 лет назад +7

      @@bosslady1914, I'm glad to hear you also think he's a sign of the Apocalypse.
      --Dave, BUILD that lake of fire!

    • @russellmcafee9412
      @russellmcafee9412 5 лет назад +1

      David Delaney must have been in a coma the last 20 years while foreign policy caused global turmoil. Viva La Trump

    • @megatron184
      @megatron184 5 лет назад +6

      Yeah... but a ghost writer wrote that. Trump probably never even read the book, just like he doesn't reas his CIA briefings.

    • @pdoylemi
      @pdoylemi 5 лет назад +1

      @@megatron184
      True, but Trump actually Tweeted that.

  • @marymerry6314
    @marymerry6314 5 лет назад +240

    We really can't get through a tweet without something being misspelled?
    You killed it tonight Stephen!

    • @MrExEssex
      @MrExEssex 5 лет назад +3

      'We' can, Trump can't. He's a poorly educated, dim-witted dunce. He's also excruciatingly dull and tiresome.

    • @georgesos
      @georgesos 5 лет назад +1

      what do you meen ? :):)

    • @corbeau-_-
      @corbeau-_- 5 лет назад

      the misspellings are tactic. More people will talk about it... Any publicity is good publicity -.-

    • @marymerry6314
      @marymerry6314 5 лет назад

      @@corbeau-_- considering who were talking about, that makes sense.

    • @mrsmith3297
      @mrsmith3297 5 лет назад

      because him misspelling word really means anything, maybe it can be used as a weapon by the small minded individuals and children. but who cares right! as long as your attack makes you laugh to yourself its okay.

  • @Zanryu1337
    @Zanryu1337 5 лет назад +120

    The quote Futurama about "Executive":
    "It's a meaningless title, but it helps insecure people to feel better about themselves." *blends in Names of Executive Producers*

  • @Moe-dn3yt
    @Moe-dn3yt 5 лет назад +18

    I wait for these monologues

  • @RetroBackslash
    @RetroBackslash 5 лет назад +93

    I'm sure that Trump genuinely 'thinks' that watching Fox is actually work on his part.

  • @Dayman90
    @Dayman90 5 лет назад +445

    Nice to see Trump taking a break from taking a break

    • @DugComer
      @DugComer 5 лет назад

      What does that even mean

    • @noididnt7972
      @noididnt7972 5 лет назад +15

      @@DugComer Apply what little brain juice you may have and figure it out nipple head. Its called sarcasm.

    • @grmpEqweer
      @grmpEqweer 5 лет назад +5

      He might get too fatigued from all that and have to go to Mar-El-Lago for a break.

    • @AccessoriesAddict5528
      @AccessoriesAddict5528 5 лет назад +5

      @@DugComer WHOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!

    • @dylan15243
      @dylan15243 5 лет назад +4

      @@DugComer means youre an idiot.

  • @yelkaskamara2078
    @yelkaskamara2078 5 лет назад +15

    I can’t believe I was part of that cheerful crowd today ❤️❤️❤️ He’s super funny. Thanks, #stephencolbert #lagcc for making my dream come through

  • @mlghelp2day
    @mlghelp2day 5 лет назад +4

    Stephen's joke about "combing the law" in Drumpfs voice was toooo
    F U N N Y! 😅

  • @TimeandMonotony
    @TimeandMonotony 5 лет назад +4

    That Minnesota weather looks like the past few days here in Washington state, except we're not used to it.

  • @Made-iTLookEZ
    @Made-iTLookEZ 5 лет назад +60

    Who misses having an actual President😢

    • @Cryptonymicus
      @Cryptonymicus 5 лет назад +1

      Trump proves we can get by with no president whatsoever, at least for two years at a stretch.

    • @Made-iTLookEZ
      @Made-iTLookEZ 5 лет назад

      @@Cryptonymicus rite on

    • @Made-iTLookEZ
      @Made-iTLookEZ 5 лет назад +1

      @Cosmic Fool nope dot dot dot. Not this fool

  • @maces1405
    @maces1405 5 лет назад +29

    5.7 billion for a wall? How about 5.7 billion for schools and infrastructure. Educate the young and fix America. Mr President!

    • @cmcordoYT
      @cmcordoYT 5 лет назад +2

      Guess what? 5.7 Billion is just the starting point regarding the cost of a wall blocking Mexico. 25 Billion is a more accurate total if this disaster is started. And, "Mr. President" doesn't care about schools, infrastructure, and fixing America.

    • @georgeb8701
      @georgeb8701 5 лет назад

      Mace S. right!? thank you. I don't know why the media doesn't bring that up every time he starts talking s**t about the f*ing wall !!! 🤔 ✌🇺🇸

    • @georgeb8701
      @georgeb8701 5 лет назад

      @@cmcordoYT The media needs to bring that up every time he starts talking s**t about the the f*ing wall. ✌🇺🇸

    • @georgeb8701
      @georgeb8701 5 лет назад

      @Dave Pawson Dave for God's sake put down the meth pipe and get help. You're talking some crazy s**t. And maybe take the advice of that Delusional DICTATOR in office and go BACK TO SCHOOL ! 🤣✌🇺🇸

    • @MalrexMontresor
      @MalrexMontresor 5 лет назад

      @@cmcordoYT $25 billion is way too low as well. That $5 billion is supposed to be used to build about 125 miles of wall, but the GAO says that cost estimate doesn't include the cost of building roads/power lines to the wall, the cost of acquiring the land, the lawsuits involved in seizing the land, or the additional costs added by the tariffs and inflation. Once you add those costs in, $5 billion would only build about 73 miles of wall, or 57 miles of wall if built of steel slats (due to higher steel tariffs).
      Together, that's a cost of about $1 billion per 10 miles of wall. So if they want to build about 700 miles of wall, that's a cost of $70 billion, not $25 billion. And according to the right-leaning CATO institute, government projects are almost always 2-3 times more expensive than projected- or more, if implemented in a haphazard way like this one is done.
      The fact that the DHS hasn't sent in a full cost-benefit analysis to the GAO and the CBO to be vetted tells us that the real cost is way higher than they are admitting. That's why they want to circumvent the correct process of planning ahead because they know once we start building the wall, we will be motivated to finish it no matter how much it costs in the end, just so we don't waste that $5 billion (i.e. the Sunk-Cost Fallacy).

  • @thillaisaravanan8097
    @thillaisaravanan8097 5 лет назад +334

    The guy laughing in the background at 2:30, whoever you are, I want to thank you. Your laugh combined with the punch line always manages to makes me laugh till I have tears in my eyes.

    • @leroture7750
      @leroture7750 5 лет назад +30

      That was the camera man, you can hear him laughing in other bits

    • @GoldenPhil
      @GoldenPhil 5 лет назад +16

      I agree. Their laugh is great.

    • @davegoodwin1848
      @davegoodwin1848 5 лет назад +2

      Sounds like EdcMahon

    • @Akimzle
      @Akimzle 5 лет назад +9

      I always thought it was "Jim"? The guy Colbert often asks questions on dates like: "Today? This was today, this afternoon?" :) Might be a producer or stagemanager...

    • @burtshort9900
      @burtshort9900 5 лет назад +3

      Dave Goodwin ol ed was the greatest of laughers. sat nite live did a bit on him.hire ed McMahon to liven up any party that may be dull or dragging.

  • @andramalexh
    @andramalexh 5 лет назад +23

    has anyone taken all the missng letters from his tweets to see if he is sending messages via typo?

    • @traekas7228
      @traekas7228 4 года назад +2

      Jeremy Colli, Trump isn’t that intelligent.

  • @Asher_Tye
    @Asher_Tye 5 лет назад +128

    Some people want a President to be bipartisan; we wound up with one who is apparently bipolar.

    • @maineyor5343
      @maineyor5343 5 лет назад +4

      OUCH!!! lol

    • @alainarchambault2331
      @alainarchambault2331 5 лет назад +1

      Aye, depressed and "awesome" at the same time.

    • @cesarebachelli
      @cesarebachelli 5 лет назад +5

      Umm, not bipolar. Just constantly low energy and useless. At least bipolar people have their high energy cycles.

    • @FutureChaosTV
      @FutureChaosTV 5 лет назад +6

      @@cesarebachelli He has his high energy cycles when he is at a rally spewing hatred and racism.

    • @loritracy1385
      @loritracy1385 5 лет назад +5

      Hey- I resent that. I'm NOTHING like him!

  • @gipsymayhem6252
    @gipsymayhem6252 5 лет назад +19

    Most past presidents knew the words to their own National Anthem.
    All Trump knows are the fast food jingles...
    * * ba da ba ba baaa... I'm lovin' it! * *

  • @contemporaryhomeaudio
    @contemporaryhomeaudio 5 лет назад +24

    Trump doesn't understand that investigating him is the "fun"

    • @ruthiemonroig1614
      @ruthiemonroig1614 4 года назад

      Now if they can just speed up the process 😳 vote this loser out 👉

  • @itsatrap1017
    @itsatrap1017 5 лет назад +2

    “Comb through the law”?
    I want you to comb THE DESERT!!

  • @Varrig
    @Varrig 5 лет назад +144

    Compulsive liars usually present the truth as an exact opposite of reality.

    • @UncleSamSiam
      @UncleSamSiam 5 лет назад +1

      Varrig's Channel that sums up all these late night show hosts.

    • @tonyclayton585
      @tonyclayton585 5 лет назад

      Samuel Alexander exactly fuck these guys.

  • @visoredgruntR34
    @visoredgruntR34 5 лет назад +30

    Trump says the Democrats are angry yet he is the one yelling on Twitter everyday.
    Also is only truly happy when he has his fans cheering for him, seriously it's the only time he smiles (besides the times he gets to see Putin)

    • @tonyquinn22
      @tonyquinn22 5 лет назад +1

      Orange Man Bad. I Agree.

    • @subtleusername5475
      @subtleusername5475 5 лет назад +1

      @Tony Quinn awww was someone mean to daddy trump? ):

    • @chrissiek8706
      @chrissiek8706 5 лет назад +1

      @@tonyquinn22 good thing we agree on something. Two things, actually: that Trump is orange and he is bad (for the country, environment, anyone not white, or orange, or rich, or male, or simply not him, you may continue the list yourself, you're smart bot, aren't you?). And people say different sides can't find a compromise!
      🙄

    • @jstravelers4094
      @jstravelers4094 5 лет назад

      The last time he made eye contact with Putin was embarrassing.
      I honestly thought Donnie was gonna piss himself.

    • @mysticalmaid
      @mysticalmaid 5 лет назад +1

      That's narcissism right there.

  • @unvergebeneid
    @unvergebeneid 5 лет назад +5

    Coincidentally, I am watching this video during my executive time! :D

  • @itwasagoodideaatthetime7980
    @itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 5 лет назад +242

    For Christ's sake I'm dyslexic & even I can spell better than Donald Trump!

    • @rebeccahamm2349
      @rebeccahamm2349 5 лет назад +5

      Same

    • @Cryptonymicus
      @Cryptonymicus 5 лет назад +18

      Can you pronounce the word "anonymous"? Trump can't. He tried it twice in the same speech and muffed it both times.

    • @tinaloveseddie
      @tinaloveseddie 5 лет назад +4

      that comment actually made me Lol🗣😂

    • @rebeccahamm2349
      @rebeccahamm2349 5 лет назад +4

      @@Cryptonymicus Jesus Christ its not even that hard!

    • @ingriddubbel8468
      @ingriddubbel8468 5 лет назад +1

      Me too.

  • @eleora3725
    @eleora3725 5 лет назад +6

    Please tell me I'm not the only person that screamed when I saw Pence's head.

    • @fifarahman
      @fifarahman 5 лет назад

      Mira Stone You’re hilarious!!! I shuddered

  • @Opus313
    @Opus313 5 лет назад +156

    The spectre of Trump tweeting something moronic is always out there.

    • @grmpEqweer
      @grmpEqweer 5 лет назад +3

      Too bad we can't call in an exorcist for said spectre.

    • @davidb6576
      @davidb6576 5 лет назад +1

      More like the absolute certainty of moronic tweets. As if that's his goal, not an accident - anything to sow turmoil throughout the USA. Like a Russian provocateur might do...

    • @seachangemix6702
      @seachangemix6702 5 лет назад

      @@grmpEqweer Love it !!

    • @robertnett9793
      @robertnett9793 5 лет назад +1

      Trump tweeting something moronic isn't exactly a spectre... it's more of a regular natural phenomenon by now. Like tides. Or sunset.

    • @Fede0779
      @Fede0779 5 лет назад

      Lol

  • @NewhamMatt
    @NewhamMatt 5 лет назад +10

    Mike Pence staring through your window.
    Sweet dreams everybody.

    • @Patchuchan
      @Patchuchan 5 лет назад +1

      Pence is just creepy.

    • @pam4261
      @pam4261 5 лет назад

      I think you guys are creepier

  • @stephaniehutchins6922
    @stephaniehutchins6922 5 лет назад +3

    Muderers...... im dead!! 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @MRayner59
    @MRayner59 5 лет назад +144

    Today, Trump tweeted “No president ever worked harder than me (cleaning up the mess I inherited)!” If he doesn’t realize that’s patently false in every respect and is simply lying (as he does the way most folks breathe), then he’s completely delusional and needs to be immediately removed from office under the 25th Amendment for being mentally unfit.

    • @frankbruder3097
      @frankbruder3097 5 лет назад +19

      No president ever worked as hard as the one taking office after Trump will have to.
      ...President Lisa Simpson

    • @chloekey8043
      @chloekey8043 5 лет назад +8

      Well, he is working 2 jobs, after all. Running the government is just part-time. He’s still running all his own businesses. He never divested

    • @praetor4118
      @praetor4118 5 лет назад +1

      ORANGE MAN
      BAD!

    • @LupineShadowOmega
      @LupineShadowOmega 5 лет назад +3

      @@praetor4118 no, Orange Man stupid...there's a difference. Most us not being paid by Russia get it.

    • @praetor4118
      @praetor4118 5 лет назад

      @@LupineShadowOmega O R A N G E M A N B A D !
      i am not dumb and letting sharply dressed tv host man funny guy think for me, i think for myself! he bad! stephen colbarto telled me so!!!

  • @VianneyCreates
    @VianneyCreates 5 лет назад +302

    Again, can you imagine what they'd be saying if this was Obama's sched???

    • @danielgehring7437
      @danielgehring7437 5 лет назад +19

      I don't think they be saying anything, just muffled grunts as they all get red-faced choking on their rage.

    • @tommcfeely8707
      @tommcfeely8707 5 лет назад +35

      Obama didnt address the haters, because unlike trump, he knew actions spoke a lot more volumes than empty words.

    • @headcold7250
      @headcold7250 5 лет назад +3

      tom mcfeely if only the entire world saw how the value of actions makes most all words meaningless

    • @jessstuart7495
      @jessstuart7495 5 лет назад +14

      They would have impeached Obama after his first week!

    • @DarkSideOfTheBrightSide
      @DarkSideOfTheBrightSide 5 лет назад +11

      They would've assassinated him.. he wouldn't have done quarter of the damage Trump has done before something extreme would've happened to him.

  • @09spidy
    @09spidy 5 лет назад +6

    Reset the clock, Trump misspelled another word.

  • @felichia808
    @felichia808 5 лет назад +2

    Love Stephen Colbert, always delivers hilarious monologues! Great writers! Great Show!!💖

  • @agolftwittler1223
    @agolftwittler1223 5 лет назад +108

    I am the greatest Peesident ever and I spend my days running my tremendously bigly Vladministration.
    I am the epitome of greatness hard at work.

    • @agolftwittler1223
      @agolftwittler1223 5 лет назад +7

      Or hardly at work.
      What ever.

    • @rossclark9155
      @rossclark9155 5 лет назад +1

      And, Mr. President, what about Benghazi...errr... I mean Niger?

    • @agolftwittler1223
      @agolftwittler1223 5 лет назад +5

      @Ann B
      Everybody lies to me these days.
      Except for my old friend Vlad of course, I can always trust Vlad.

    • @agolftwittler1223
      @agolftwittler1223 5 лет назад +6

      I am going to order myself a dozen hamberders with union rings.
      All that executive time makes my absolutely gluttonous.

    • @agolftwittler1223
      @agolftwittler1223 5 лет назад +6

      𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐀 2019
      𝐌y 𝐀dministration 𝐆ot 𝐀rrested 😲

  • @mmartinezPhysics
    @mmartinezPhysics 5 лет назад +702

    America: I don't believe things can get worse than the 35-day Shutdown and the blackface scandals from the last few weeks...
    Trump: Hold my -beer- Diet Coke...

    • @rgwak
      @rgwak 5 лет назад +32

      More like "Hold my sexy photos of Ivanka..."

    • @IamErik31
      @IamErik31 5 лет назад +30

      America: The yellow liquid inside that glass you're holding with both hands isn't beer Mr. President...

    • @rerikm
      @rerikm 5 лет назад +22

      M more like.. hold my triple whooper

    • @bbjornsson
      @bbjornsson 5 лет назад +24

      Hold my hamberder*

    • @lonelywolf6180
      @lonelywolf6180 5 лет назад +1

      trump: hold my beer while i pick another beer

  • @napoleonibonaparte7198
    @napoleonibonaparte7198 5 лет назад +84

    Trump couldn’t fight General Winter because he dodged the draft with bonespurs.

    • @Cryptonymicus
      @Cryptonymicus 5 лет назад +10

      Trump couldn't fight General Disarray and Professor Chaos.

  • @Kilmoran
    @Kilmoran 5 лет назад +15

    I live in TN... We have Mudderers all over the state! Someone come clean their trucks!

  • @Gauss6174
    @Gauss6174 5 лет назад +138

    i wish it was 100% executive time

    • @MRayner59
      @MRayner59 5 лет назад +7

      I think you need Pence's "job" for that.

    • @Gauss6174
      @Gauss6174 5 лет назад +9

      @markmac lol, bring out the guillotine

    • @abouttogiveyasomefacts5574
      @abouttogiveyasomefacts5574 5 лет назад +1

      @@Gauss6174 let them eat cake

    • @clairduffy60
      @clairduffy60 5 лет назад

      I'm sure it is!

    • @clairduffy60
      @clairduffy60 5 лет назад

      @@abouttogiveyasomefacts5574 Let them snort coke more like.

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 5 лет назад +60

    In my house 'executive time' is the byword for sitting on the can.. And considering Donnie's diet.. it might well mean that in the White House, too.

    • @CAMM-CynthiaM
      @CAMM-CynthiaM 5 лет назад +3

      And with that diet, I'm pretty sure he engages in pre executive time better known as dulcolax

    • @aholland27
      @aholland27 5 лет назад +3

      Always classy bro! 👌

    • @noididnt7972
      @noididnt7972 5 лет назад +3

      @@CAMM-CynthiaM Nice to know it has a proper name.

    • @bahaar2825
      @bahaar2825 5 лет назад +2

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Ace1King1
      @Ace1King1 5 лет назад +1

      It's getting harder and harder to criticize our great president with a straight face, isn't it?

  • @ichifish
    @ichifish 5 лет назад +2

    "Gotta some blinds!" Sometimes Jon Baptiste is really funny.

  • @JA-ui7ex
    @JA-ui7ex 5 лет назад

    Doesn’t get ANY BETTER then Colbert AND Oliver. That was incredible. Much respect. You guys rock.

  • @wetbobspongepants
    @wetbobspongepants 5 лет назад +6

    AWW - Mike Pence - A young Senator Palpatine - And about as trustworthy.

  • @BrhGaston
    @BrhGaston 5 лет назад +8

    Thank goodness for colbert.

  • @pash9956
    @pash9956 4 года назад +2

    He sounds just like Eric Cartman! "Screw you guys, I'm going HOME!"

  • @smittykins
    @smittykins 4 года назад

    I love how when Stephen mentions jail/prison, the band plays the opening notes of “Jailhouse Rock.”

  • @MadDragon75
    @MadDragon75 5 лет назад +79

    The only thing's he's working on is a horrible tan, hair club, golf club, strip club, and impeachment.

  • @ashleyrickett1200
    @ashleyrickett1200 5 лет назад +6

    What's going on is that he needs to invest into some hooked on phonics. 😂

  • @gwen3010
    @gwen3010 5 лет назад +81

    Trump watches TV, golfs and tweets more than he works!

    • @scout805
      @scout805 5 лет назад +1

      Yea the jobs just magically came back, and Stock market just soared to record highs, and our GDP (that's gross dometic product) is over 4% cuz he does nothing all day. Quit watching fake hater tv and recognize greatness!

    • @HungarianParagon
      @HungarianParagon 5 лет назад +4

      And that's all during his time at work! When he's not 'working' he locks himself into the bathroom with his phone and a stash of happy meals...

    • @davestory9141
      @davestory9141 5 лет назад +1

      Lol. Really. You think that. Actually do some research then have an opinion. Try and leave the couch.

    • @pam4261
      @pam4261 5 лет назад

      @@scout805
      👍

  • @MlSSFIT
    @MlSSFIT 5 лет назад +5

    Gotta hand it to Stephen Colbert. The ABSOLUTELY funniest late night talk show host. I LOVE his Trump voice. laughing out loud for real over here.

    • @coolybop66
      @coolybop66 5 лет назад +1

      His still crying about 2016, and he's going to be crying again when Trump gets reelected.

  • @mhddirchankirmy8660
    @mhddirchankirmy8660 5 лет назад +9

    I wish if Steph Colbert 🤨 will only do a show by just reading Trump’s tweets. I bet it will be hell of fun.

  • @LadyDoomsinger
    @LadyDoomsinger 5 лет назад +6

    I always thought 'Executive Time' was code for using the bathroom.

  • @jsominsky
    @jsominsky 5 лет назад

    "Hickory dickory dock." LMFAO So glad Jon feels comfy interjecting now really adds to the show IMHO 😭😭

  • @MysteryMii
    @MysteryMii 5 лет назад +45

    0:34 Was “Shutdown 2: Electric Boogaloo” too obvious?

    • @Corn_Pone_Flicks
      @Corn_Pone_Flicks 5 лет назад +7

      This Time, It's Personal.

    • @marioanothlp
      @marioanothlp 5 лет назад +1

      Shutdown 2: Electoral Bungalow....This time, his reasoning comes from "his" down under!

  • @punia_4943
    @punia_4943 5 лет назад +20

    Mike pence peeping through window looks same as he was in SOTU... Lit💯

  • @q09876543
    @q09876543 5 лет назад +13

    Muderers are very dangerous! Whenever they show up, they muddy the waters.

  • @FroehligGirlz
    @FroehligGirlz 5 лет назад

    ❄️❄️❄️It was a gorgeous day! No tailgating AT ALL! ❄️❄️❄️ (Minnesota seriously gives "chill" a fresh definition.)

  • @RCmack
    @RCmack 5 лет назад +1

    Minnesota Senator Amy Kloubachar announced her Presidential candidacy at 5:13 while outside in a snowstorm. Amy displayed her toughness by standing in a blizzard. This should impress some voters!

  • @Abejaved
    @Abejaved 5 лет назад +10

    Can we just have one tweet without any drastic spelling errors? It always on the most important words too.

  • @rafatmohammed6897
    @rafatmohammed6897 5 лет назад +27

    The only good thing happening to me this week is Stephen Colbert.

    • @Nakano1254
      @Nakano1254 5 лет назад +1

      What about John oliver?

    • @danielgehring7437
      @danielgehring7437 5 лет назад +1

      @@Nakano1254
      Technically that's next week.

    • @Nakano1254
      @Nakano1254 5 лет назад +1

      @@danielgehring7437 damn. I want to know what that photo of John oliver looking like miss America is about

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse 5 лет назад

      I hope you're wrong and something good happens after all.

  • @Poemi10304
    @Poemi10304 5 лет назад +2

    Now I’m going to be freaking out, imagining Mike Pence is floating outside my window! 😂

  • @Kilmoran
    @Kilmoran 5 лет назад +10

    State of Emergency... Impending shut down.... Everything is fine so just relax. That's our President! *Plays whimsical music*

    • @Texaca
      @Texaca 5 лет назад

      yeah Yakey Sax, Benny Hill theme song cued

  • @AzathothNyxkind
    @AzathothNyxkind 5 лет назад +67

    Those mudderers -- always mixing cocktails whilst driving.

    • @batintheattic7293
      @batintheattic7293 5 лет назад +1

      Ah, yes, because that's what those squashing sticks are called!

    • @dday9433
      @dday9433 5 лет назад +1

      I went Harry Potter... mud bloods... but I like yours better

    • @AzathothNyxkind
      @AzathothNyxkind 5 лет назад

      DrMossydog Damn it, I hope I’m not coming down with Trump-brain!

  • @wizkhalifasmoke
    @wizkhalifasmoke 5 лет назад +23

    I'm sorry but what has he done other than *GIVE THE TOP 1% A TAX CUT* ?

    • @headcold7250
      @headcold7250 5 лет назад +5

      kevinmuehl Muehlkevin he also cut taxes down to nearly nothing for banks and corporations and permanently tarnished the rule of law, encouraging insane new levels and access to easy white collar crime and corruption

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse 5 лет назад +4

      @@headcold7250 -- Hey, he's encouraged racists and white supremacists! Don't forget that accomplishment!

    • @chibz92
      @chibz92 5 лет назад +1

      Prison reform.

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse 5 лет назад +1

      @@chibz92 -- Fair point. If he gets blamed for all the bad stuff in this administration, he should get some credit for the good stuff. Which is prison reform and, uh. . .

    • @FireRupee
      @FireRupee 5 лет назад +1

      He also split up families and then deported some of the parents.

  • @ginckgo
    @ginckgo 5 лет назад +5

    "Loosen up and have fun"
    Or as he usually says to women:
    "Don't clench up, I'm going in dry"

  • @itwasagoodideaatthetime7980
    @itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 5 лет назад +2

    *5:22** - **5:30*
    *"Apparently Trump spends a lot of his executive time checking out his competition in 2020.*
    *Like Senator Amy Klobuchar seen here announcing her campain this weekend. On either a nice day in Minnesota or a bad day on the ice planet Hoth.*
    *She needs a Tauntaun."*
    *~ Stephen Colbert.*
    ROTFLMAO!
    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
    The Sarcasm is *Strong* With This One!

  • @Fallen7Pie
    @Fallen7Pie 5 лет назад +128

    Actually he spends it watching Fox in the mirror

    • @kimberlys8422
      @kimberlys8422 5 лет назад +11

      Rage tweeting on the toilet, eating fast food, and golfing.

    • @MadDragon75
      @MadDragon75 5 лет назад +1

      I love going to fox and inquisitively ask...
      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
      Where is that series of speed bumps the border congressman doesn't want?
      And is anyone from his original staff remaining?
      What's space force?.. Mic Drop.

    • @Fallen7Pie
      @Fallen7Pie 5 лет назад +1

      @@kimberlys8422 He very realistically does what I said and the first two things you said all at once on a regular basis. Golfing during all of that would be genuinely impressive

  • @mercenarychef9465
    @mercenarychef9465 5 лет назад +5

    "A nice day in Minnesota, or a bad day on the Ice Planet Hoth."
    You're not wrong, Stephen. You're definitely not wrong. Now, where'd my Tauntaun run off to?

  • @ibrahim_sultan101
    @ibrahim_sultan101 5 лет назад

    You're killing Trump with your hilarious jokes, keep it up Steve!

  • @minervaloves
    @minervaloves 5 лет назад +1

    Jon Batiste was hilarious LOL

  • @Michael9-23-15
    @Michael9-23-15 5 лет назад +11

    The American public deserves seeing the Golden shower video being released! Trump will be Pissed off while being Pissed on....

    • @chrissiek8706
      @chrissiek8706 5 лет назад +1

      Don't you think they suffered enough? 😳

  • @___Tj
    @___Tj 5 лет назад +82

    Trump: "build the wall"
    Trump: "we are gonna build a big beautiful wall"
    Trump: "Mexico will pay for the wall"
    Trump: "Congress needs to pay for the wall"
    Trump: "we will pay for the wall through our military"
    Trump: "we are already building the wall"
    Trump: "I will shutdown the government if Congress doesn't fully pay for the wall"
    Trump: "Call it steel slots, fence, or whatever you want"
    Trump: "I didn't say we are gonna build a wall from sea to shining sea"
    Trump: "we already have a wall"
    Trump: "I will declare a national emergency to get money for the wall"
    Trump: "we need to build a wall to protect our troops on the border"

    • @iDGF999
      @iDGF999 5 лет назад +1

      @@DrWhom Only 4?

    • @subtleusername5475
      @subtleusername5475 5 лет назад +8

      @Deipatrous A wall won't work. If you weren't too busy fearmongering, you'd realize that when democrats say "border security" they mean effective methods like motion sensors and cameras and more border patrol agents. No politician has ever said they want open borders because that's career suicide. Coded language is obviously dead since trumpets need to be told in very clear terms exactly what to believe and exactly who to hate.

    • @itsatrap1017
      @itsatrap1017 5 лет назад +6

      Man, how do any of his supporters keep up? Oh yeah, they support him because they don’t keep up.

    • @Montesama314
      @Montesama314 5 лет назад +2

      @@subtleusername5475 coded language isn't dead yet, since "border security" is code for "white security." A swath of White America is afraid of losing the majority; the Great Wall of Trump is a desperate and transparent attempt at slowing down the browning of America.

    • @chrisrobinson3494
      @chrisrobinson3494 5 лет назад

      @DrMossydog Their's no "could be" about it, he's MOST DEFINITELY 100% CERTIFIABLY INSANE!!!!

  • @hellcat1988
    @hellcat1988 5 лет назад

    As someone who lives in and works in Minnesota, I can confirm that was one of our better weather days.

  • @jamesgabrielson473
    @jamesgabrielson473 5 лет назад

    Absolutely loved "nice day in Minnesota or a bad day on the ice planet Hoth." I was in Minnesota, I thought it was pretty nice this weekend.

  • @Red-rl1xx
    @Red-rl1xx 5 лет назад +4

    "I Still Know What You Did Last Shutdown!"😄

  • @sanbetski
    @sanbetski 5 лет назад +933

    Need my colbert fix

    • @Dodelijk144
      @Dodelijk144 5 лет назад +13

      Weekends are so hard without his loving.

    • @rickbones3201
      @rickbones3201 5 лет назад +1

      Dodelijke Koninkrijk Colbert suppresses free speech. We are hundreds and we will spread the word with proof

    • @johnedward3404
      @johnedward3404 5 лет назад +2

      T Mobile sucks Locks Up

    • @reality6756
      @reality6756 5 лет назад +2

      Everyone needs their "fix" of hate and addiction when they are as bigoted as you. Welcome to the far far "Right" club! The far right as you see it is your own reflection.

    • @rickbones3201
      @rickbones3201 5 лет назад

      Patrick Rathbone please tell me that was sarcasm

  • @diegoknight4828
    @diegoknight4828 5 лет назад

    4:13 You can hear hidden opening notes of Elvis’s Jailhouse Rocks when Stephen is referring to Manafort’s ‘executive time’, which is jail time. Ma man Jon Batiste, so quick thinking and subtle

    • @viddork
      @viddork 5 лет назад

      Except that he's done that a least a dozen times by now.

  • @raelynn2773
    @raelynn2773 5 лет назад

    Jon has the best background comments!

  • @indigowolf556
    @indigowolf556 5 лет назад +6

    Muderer? Lol Do they carry smocking guns?

  • @SuperBerya
    @SuperBerya 5 лет назад +12

    Seems like trump is ALWAYS on Twitter 😂!

    • @farnorth13
      @farnorth13 5 лет назад

      Trump is on Twitter when he's on the shitter

  • @MichaelBerthelsen
    @MichaelBerthelsen 5 лет назад +1

    Reminds me of Rihanna's line in Battleship, "Mahala, motherf...[BOOOOM"😂😂]

  • @keeshabrown7353
    @keeshabrown7353 5 лет назад

    John is on fire in this one. His side comments and laugh have me rolling every time hehehe

  • @AngryKittens
    @AngryKittens 5 лет назад +12

    It's a national emergency, folks, so just relax and have fun.

  • @maineyor5343
    @maineyor5343 5 лет назад +19

    Build the wall around the White House and add water until we stop hearing noises.

  • @bklock7
    @bklock7 5 лет назад +1

    05:12 DUDE Stephen! You get big time +points for the Star Wars reference :-)

  • @xxxafterglow
    @xxxafterglow 5 лет назад

    Jon's "hickory dickory dock" killed me

  • @lw3269
    @lw3269 5 лет назад +252

    Can we take a minute to acknowledge that 45 can't get through a single tweet without misspelling a word that a 5th grader can spell? Muderers?
    If he doesn't have dementia, then we have just elected history's stupidest president.

    • @chrissiek8706
      @chrissiek8706 5 лет назад +7

      @Dak Lamerbusch i also like 🍊Mussolini, 🍑🍄, 💩🤡, Agolf Twittler, Cadet Donny Bonespures, Individual 1, and yes, Spanky 😏

    • @hopeemch8511
      @hopeemch8511 5 лет назад +14

      LW: We all make typos but he's the President who should care enough about how it reflects back on him to spell-check or proof his tweets. On the other hand, he's right in assuming that for his base, his lack of spelling and grammer just makes him one of them. Let's face it, the only country he is President of is about a third of the nation. That's the one fact I think he IS aware of because they are the only voters he knows he can bamboozle.

    • @chasinglife43
      @chasinglife43 5 лет назад +9

      I just do NOT understand how it is possible for him to make as many errors as he does! Does he have someone turn off auto-correct entirely on all of his devices? I can totally picture that actually. He believes himself to be so intelligent and so well educated. So much smarter than a smart phone!
      Honestly, A pet peeve of mine is when RUclipsrs spell words incorrectly on their titles and thumbnails. I can't even watch the video when they are like that. If you can't take the time to spell check the content that you are putting out, I can't take the time to watch it.
      These tweets are significantly more widespread. People in other countries read them, Leaders of other countries read them! PLEASE, take the extra 90 seconds of your (executive) time and read the dang tweet before you hit send! Lol. Rant complete!

    • @lw3269
      @lw3269 5 лет назад +8

      @Dak Lamerbusch Point well taken. I usually use TRE45ON but I was pressed for time.

    • @bryanb6612
      @bryanb6612 5 лет назад +6

      He can't be both? Stupid AND demented?

  • @samday6621
    @samday6621 5 лет назад +13

    I know the country is paying D.T. a lot of money to work, but the less work he does the safer I feel.

    • @cmcordoYT
      @cmcordoYT 5 лет назад +2

      I agree. The less he does, the better our country stands. The country is paying him via his resorts he makes his Secret Service pay for, for his and Melania's unnecessary trips, for all that fast food, for tax benefits he gets via the tax changes, personally pockets the membership fees and annual dues Bedminster’s members pay.
      USA Today: "70% of buyers of Trump properties were limited liability companies - corporate entities that allow people to purchase property without revealing all of the owners' names. That compares with about 4% of buyers in the two years before." Overall in 2017, the paper reported, Trump's companies "sold more than $35 million in real estate ... mostly to secretive shell companies that obscure buyers' identities." Mysterious investors suddenly pouring tens of millions of dollars into Trump coffers."
      These are just a few, so if Trump cult members start claiming that he doesn't get a salary because he donates it all, make sure they Google the information to find the truth. He has donated his first quarter salary to government organizations, but I haven't heard anything more than that.

  • @krgkrmb
    @krgkrmb 5 лет назад +8

    Nambia! Thought you forgot about us.

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse 5 лет назад +2

      Nambia, like the Bowling Green Massacre, will never be forgotten.

    • @krgkrmb
      @krgkrmb 5 лет назад +1

      @@ValerieJNorse Many Nambians died that day.

  • @michaelbronco1023
    @michaelbronco1023 5 лет назад +8

    Was watching a documentary on Mr. RODGERS on HBO the other night and laughed because the one "bad guy" on the King Friday the 13, built a border wall to stop immigration. Mr. Rodgers wrote that in I believe 1967.

  • @223Drone
    @223Drone 5 лет назад +9

    Individual-1 doesn't understand that being essentially the most influential world leader isn't a 9-5 job. He clearly has no interest in being the president of the US and upholding its responsibilities.

  • @Yougotsblounchsked
    @Yougotsblounchsked 5 лет назад +18

    She was out in the snow
    He skipped an event because of rain

    • @ridaali7577
      @ridaali7577 5 лет назад

      But I was legitamately afraid we'd have another William Henry Harrison (that was his name, right?) on our hands when I saw her bare head covered in all of that snow.

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse 5 лет назад

      @@ridaali7577 -- Yup, that was he. But I think he stood out there and gave something like a two-hour speech; I'm hoping she didn't go that long.

    • @samburnes9389
      @samburnes9389 5 лет назад

      It wasn’t that cold. It only felt like -30 F.

    • @Montesama314
      @Montesama314 5 лет назад

      Unlike Trump, she wasn't afraid of getting her hair wet and exposing baldness.

  • @Organdonerkebab
    @Organdonerkebab 5 лет назад

    "He's gotta put those blinds up" made me laugh so much

  • @sreshac.s9348
    @sreshac.s9348 5 лет назад

    Nothing beats stephen reading trump's tweets,especially the ( )😂😂😂😂

  • @aliabbasi9826
    @aliabbasi9826 5 лет назад +14

    Awesome! Love this show!

    • @gerbmcnuggets5466
      @gerbmcnuggets5466 5 лет назад

      Ali Abbasi there’s a tiny cartoon mouse hiding somewhere in that hat of yours....

  • @tanjabuchholz5314
    @tanjabuchholz5314 5 лет назад +2

    Colbert's on fire tonight! Lol

  • @mpool4210
    @mpool4210 5 лет назад +1

    pence is like that guy hanging around at the park. He seems to just be there, never doing anything but waiting.

  • @Gearsturfs
    @Gearsturfs 5 лет назад

    That dude with the ad libs is always on point