Why Doesn’t My Husband Initiate Intimacy | Paul Friedman
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- Опубликовано: 6 июл 2024
- Women don't get married to prove trendy but dumb points about equality. They get married to experience marital love and ever-increasing happiness. So, when one asked Paul Friedman, founder of The Marriage Foundation why doesn’t my husband initiate intimacy in one of the comments we felt it to be a great topic to be addressed. Let us know your thoughts.
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What if you are the one who wanted sex and never withheld it and the husband barely wants it . It’s like I’m the man in that scenario. He never goes after unless I make the move and I always want to be intimate . This video wouldn’t apply to me since it’s the complete opposite in my case.
Every situation is unique, like snowflakes. The idea to learn to love unconditionally, not look for exceptions.
Oh yeah that’s me! It’s so hurtful and we are on the verge of divorce. I never wanted to be divorced again. Never! I feel so unwanted but this started about 6 months into the marriage and we have now been married for 6 years. Long hurtful road but I don’t want to start over. I don’t know what to do.
@@lauras2046 my best advice is start your own recovery. You need to heal as a individual. Do things that do not include him ( I’m not saying divorce) but find things you like to do for yourself. Find a hobby you are into that brings you joy.
Then find hobbies together. Get back to the basics of your marriage/ relationship. I’m currently working on myself and getting into hobbies we both enjoy together. We both are gamers so we play video games together. I’m finding intimacy is more than just the act of sex. I need to get back the friendship and the intimacy of being together. It’s a slow process but I’m a lot happier at the moment. I have my days though , especially when I get rejected. But that’s when I do things I love.
I don’t want a divorce either. I’ll keep working out this marriage. I’m fighting for this marriage.
@@jessicalarsen7094 this dude’s response to you was basically worthless.
As a man, all I can say is that there could be many different reasons. But I’ll just give you one that happens to me: at the beginning of a relationship, I am definitely in the mood all the time, but when stuff starts to feel mundane, usually around the six-month to one-year mark, I notice my drive goes down. And then my girl is frustrated, understandably.
So I don’t know if this is partly a guy thing, or just my own thing, but that is certainly one of the reasons. Men are hunters by nature, so I do think there is something to the whole biological thing of wanting to roam and spread our seed. I wish it wasn’t the case. But basically I just get bored, and I do wonder if I need some type of open relationship. Maybe there is a perfect partner out there where I would never get bored and lose my drive, but I certainly haven’t found that person yet, so who knows.
I hope this helps you, but ultimately, I hope you’re able to have an open conversation with him, you deserve that.
@@jessicalarsen7094 You should pray on it and maybe take a couples therapy class or talk to church elders for advice. It's likely spiritual or physical.
Thank you for this important message 🙏 I've definitely absorbed a lot from this. And it hasn't really hit me until now, but based on a few things you said it's caused me to think of occurances that may be possible catalysts for what's happened. I never imagined that something that is so small to me could've caused so much damage.
I am in need of your course!
Here is the link Janeen themarriagefoundation.org/system/
I don’t understand all of the point here. There are massively good ones but if I am not feeling physically well such as having a headache, I can’t say no to sex without my husband taking it a rejection and pulling away. How much physical comfort do I have to sacrifice on a daily basis then?
Because your marriage is not run as it could have been you are not in a good place (and sorry for your ilness) so there isn't a good answer. But no matter how sick one is they can still exhude love... themarriagefoundation.org/
I just want to clarify, you're saying that if the husband never initiates it, it means there is something wrong with the relationship?
Not at all. Who initiates is 100% irrelevant.
@@TheMarriageFoundation ok, I will take this into my heart... but I'll admit, it's very different advice from the rest of the world at large.
What do u do if u can't get him to communicate to you at all and trust issues he's narcissistic, mostly Def believe..I'm beginning to wonder if when we out alone if it means anything to him at all I want it to so bad I'm trying to save our marriage it's literally sucking the life out of me as I speak anyone please if u read this it would make it really happy in which I never really feel happy anymore there was off and on but by means I don't want him to go even tho this is a very strong thing to do I was seeing that hey i could feel happy but he just out of doing weekend in jail and it was so so hard to let him go I almost couldn't calm down and it's was just 2 days, we have been apart at the most a month and thas at rehab in the past , it was easier to let him go then I mean no it wasn't but letting him go this past Friday Idk I felt when I let go of him there would be a brand new beginning like I thought from that second there would be. No I knew there wound I don't understand a day after he goes back to his "narcissist ways" just like that he's not diagnosed but anyway, didn't feel it or idk but I'm scared I'm nervous I've practically begged him to go to marriage counseling and he won't simply communicate w me there plenty more
Yes. Dealing with the first man like thus. You have to do anything in the relationship. Not worth it.
👍🏽
I've recently been forced to consider some actions I've done over the past 2 years which I think may have done damage to our relationship. In the early days i chose to believe it couldn't do any harm but I think I have to recognise that it might have. About 2 years ago I accidentally discovered this actor from the past (who has been dead many years now). please don't judge, but when I discovered him I had never seen a more stunning actor in my life, and I still do look at his photos almost daily even after 2 years. I was absolutely mesmerised by him. Obviously my husband doesn't know the extreme extent that I look, but he does know that I got quite infatuated with this actor. Do you think that this has, or has the potential to cause harm? I think now I need to minimise my interest in the actor, but I'm not sure how I can do that as I get so much pleasure from looking at him. I've even spent nights going to bed at 3.00 am reading about him. I didn't embark on the obsession being this massive intentionally, but I really chose to not control it too. I think it has done harm, what do you think? Please be kind and compassionate, I can't understand how my interest in the actor was so extreme, because it's never happened with any other actor before. It's very unusual I'll admit.
As intense as it is you know that your interest is a distraction from your right attitudes toward your husband.
@@TheMarriageFoundation yes, I've been forced to recognise this since I've started really trying to repair things in our marriage.