First boss at work hated me …. I just could not understand why. I didn’t realize that the entire environment was hugely toxic. I was over educated. And not bad looking….I was tortured and could not figure out the “why”. It’s taken me years to realize
@@mysterydiaz5302 same here ugh. I worked so damn hard and couldn’t figure out why my boss hated me. I learned, researched, and implemented new innovative ideas and processes that increased revenue and efficiency. It made our dept look great but no matter what I did I could tell my boss hated me. This guy pulled me to the side and said kid, I know your young and it’s hard to see things sometimes but your boss is extremely envious and intimidated by you. “You’re doing things he hasn’t been able to do in his 10 years here. You need to leave and explore bigger opportunities.”. A lot clicked that day. I watched peoples actions now and make a concentrated effort to unlearn my naïve tendencies and behaviors. It’s helped me a lot.
In my teens, twenties, and thirties I was always worried about what people thought about me. In my forties and fifties I gave up caring what people thought about me. I'm in my sixties now and I've realized... No one was thinking about ME at all. They were thinking about themselves. Everybody is always thinking about themselves.
I agree with you on we don't have to care too much about what people think of us, but, in my opinion, not everyone is always thinking about themselves.
@@henrychang340 If you're thinking about other people, it's inevitably about how they have, are, or will affect your life. We are not mere consciousnesses, void of a Self, sans Ego, floating in a sea of perceptions. Without a perceiver, there is no perception. Without perception, nothing exists. To be perceived there must first be a perceiver. Quantum theory even seems to be hinting at this. Questioning whether anything exists before it is perceived. Schrodinger's cat is both alive and dead at the same time until it is perceived. Some are hopeful and some are terrified that this idea might become a proof for the existence of God, the First Perceiver Who generates your existence, my existence, the existence of the universe itself because He perceives all of it at once. There are even verses in the Bible that suggest this possibility. "...all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." Colossians 1:17. Something to think about.
I feel you on. I was a little butt hurt when a new employee called out my mistake. Later on I realized I shouldn't have yell at them for calling out a mistake I made. We all have to work together to do the best we can.
Yes, about my ego and pride in a serious situation. It was about being there and helping out but without getting the attention and a fell miserably with my ego.
Kinda knew this already with university professors and post-grad students. Once they feel you're writing better than them or laying out more interesting and newer ideas they start hating your guts and instead of encouraging you they level up their vicious criticism and evaluation. Not all but most are like this
I defintely stirred up my previous boss' insecurities. She sought after validation of her work and needed verbal confirmation from others about her performance. I have a naturally reserved demeanor, I look back at this now and realized she was most insecure around me because she never knew what I was thinking, I didn't validate anything, didn't give any of my thoughts away; I just kept to myself and did my job. What to me was just part of my natural disposition, was threatening to her ego. I realize this is true of many people who seek approval from others, who need words of affirmation to soothe their self-esteem..when I don't give in to any of that, it is THEN that they become mean or attempt to bully me. They try to evoke a reaction from me with their combattive nature which is just a disguise for how frustrated they are that I don't validate them. I don't do it out of spite; I do it because if you want to be strong in this world you should never assign value to yourself based on the opinions of others. I indirectly train these behavioral types to be mentally stronger.
Best thing I’ve learned is to let sh*t go and don’t take things personally because of people and their “insecurities! plus we are all Flawed inside in some way. so better just to keep it moving and try not to become bitter!the older you get as you see the “darker side of people and “human psychology 👏
Always having a kind word to extend others has done me well in my life. It’s helped me build great relationships with people in higher positions than me and it’s helped me advance a lot in my career. Pro tip: the best compliment you can give someone is to ask them for advice on your forward progression. It isn’t an overt way to compliment them, but they’ll take it as such and think positively about you.
One of the smartest things I’ve actually heard. The last few sentences. Sometimes we need to calm down to not increase our grief. Shut up. It’s something I learn a lot. Like last week.
Oh my god this is so true. Especially sad when you’re kind, not doing anything, just minding your own business, and they lash out at you for no reason.
Those are some of the first things I assess when meeting and learning people. Their ego and insecurities. Tells me how to be handle the person and what not to say or do around them.
You realize that everyone has there own personal insecurities specific to their own life experience. To constantly gauge how you might be upsetting someone is an impossible task, and if you do live like that you will sacrifice yourself in the process worrying about minor nuances
Its really not the hard of you watch how the person goes about living their life. For example A person that’s rich has and insecurity of being seen as broke and/or homeless. A person who works out everyday has insecure of being seen as small, fat, or unattractive.
@@kingdee5388 that's pretty broad. Look into cptsd, and childhood trauma triggers. There's so much complexity involved in this it's not something to be oversimplified like your examples. Furthermore, not everyone is chasing riches for the same reason so to assume that every rich person, or everyone who works out has the same blanket insecurities driving their actions just isn't factual. There's always more to everyones story
@@chrism8180 that trauma trigger can be a kid being bullied cuz he’s fat, Which in turn would cause that insecurity and lead them to be in the gym. And if you ask a rich person if they would rather be back broke and/or living paycheck to paycheck or stay rich what would the answer be? Its a easy guess. Another example, Marilyn Monroe was insecure of not being pretty or getting no attention from men, she would get called ugly and rejected. She learned how to be more attractive to men and she completely turned that around and became one of the most seductive actresses of all time she never lost the insecurity, she just masked it. Another one, Among Women who have been single for many years, they would slightly have an insecurity of not being able to get or keep a man because they find value in cute relationships. And a mans would be that they are a pussy if they are scared to ask that girl out that they find so attractive. We are all hiding something let’s not lie to ourselves. I know I make it sound simple but Its not that simple to see because we are so worried about ourselves instead of other people.
@@chrism8180 the idea of good only comes from bad. Whether their reason are good or not, underneath that passion is almost always an insecurity or trauma that causes it, which they are running from. We all do. I’ve read his books so I understand people and where he’s coming from.
I agree. Because of their insecurities you can't perform better than them or know more because it creates a problem for you. Crazy how that is that way
I wish I had heard information like this when I was a teenager ( which predated social media, cell phones, internet etc). I was always so afraid of everyone because I truly believed everyone but me had it together. I believed I was alone in my thoughts and feelings, this info would have helped tremendously! Hoping it helps someone now ❤️
I am 20, I suffer from social anxiety not because I am afraid of people. I have been through a trauma from when I was only 11. I was sexually assaulted as a boy. Which I discovered recently. I have behavioural problems and lack of charisma totally. I was thinking my whole life that I am bad and this is all my fault. I don't really know if this video makes any difference. Because, I may go back to my previous state. But it really feels good in my heart.
@@nafissadik2754Hey, it is not your fault at all. Let yourself out of this agony! Whoever has done it to you is someone who should be feeling guilty of the crime, not you. Live a life that is finally fair to you. You have suffered enough in the past and now love yourself! You deserve it!!
I’ve been feeding my boss’ ego and avoiding their insecurities for years, I must be some kinda genius. If I am pleased about something I’ve done, I tell my boss it’s thanks to them. Boom.
Gratitude, and compliments are easy to find, if we are looking. In the last few years, I’ve noticed, I am usually totally shocked at people who greet me, smile, or just open a door for me. I try to do the same, but it just no longer come natural.
I like Mr Greene. The way he talks and explains things strikes a chord as he comes across as someone who has been has experienced things or seen them up close. Thank you.
I believe that there can be a very fine line between being kind, considerate, and mindful of others feelings, and ego ,and becoming a people pleaser. As a believer and follower of the Lord Jesus, one of the most important principles Christ taught was to please God, be true to self, the truth, and not be ruled by pleasing man. This was a serious issue for me and can lead to boundary issues. Learning to say "no " is difficult for a great many number of people.
Hi You're attractive mabey I'm a little too genuine with my thoughts but I try to be nice to myself and others. Today I was crying and almost sobbing fully towards my mom because she insulted me in some specific way and I emotionally broke and let my emotions into the conversation. I don't know why but I wasn't always like this and She says it's the gift of sobbing for others and even for the most of miniscule of events and situations. I don't know if it's good or bad. But I definitely believe That there's a fine line between everything. I'm a male though so I think the I'm not sure but since almost any female category says this I'm going to as those women do but not out of emotion I'm only pondering this response but so this sexist gynocentrism that has been created against males and especially grown adult human males is very anti male. And I know that if a man cries he's seen as less of a man and when I mentioned that fact to my mother she called that stupid because I was in my emotions and I had to let everything out. It's like you mostly expect females to be behaving like I am. But for the most of time I think. I was a emotionless male and that's when of course I had a hardened heart of cold dark bitterness that didn't want to let go of the nihilism the cynical sarcasm cynicism hedonism materilaism even and malevolence sometimes. Only when I open up about the scars I had in my heart did I cry I think. Or I was more resilient to make excuses to not heal and not necessarily pity party I mean that's kinda rude if you say that to someone who's wanting to get their life straight everyone needs a pity party sometimes but I would attack everyone and anyone when I was younger and even now recently but not so much anymore. Im not sure but I have psychopathic traits or I let the monster out inside from me and let it rampage everything because I cannot keep it under control when under pressure. I've done very malevolent actions that I've almost committed to and some I have actually done and very nasty deplorable thoughts. That's not anyone. But it's going to creep it's head if you're the scariest being because you don't know how to receive help and ask for help and help yourself in small ways by accepting that help and asking God to kick Satan out of here from your mind! I wasn't born a pshycopath. But I am a low functioning one. And there good pshycopaths who don't harm anyone I've learned which is strange however no wonder they call serial killers that serial killers because not all of them are necessarily crazy some willingly ask to go to hell and worse by not repenting!! So yeah I need help too wether it be with pshycologists like This man or Jordan Bernt Peterson who actually help. And it seems most atheist ones are useless which is really expected but sad I think because that may mean they do worse than they help no matter their intentions. I forgot but I think Jordan Bernt Peterson believes in God now thanks to his wife. I'm still longing for the stronger need to want to feel God in my heart and not a single drop of anything evil I hope that day comes to fruition because every time I had gone into a retreat I never healed and it's because I had my heart closed. It's really sad many humans will die not forgiving and being damning to themselves. I hate that they die that way I hate that Satan wins and I also hate that I couldn't do anything about it I ponder why I should ask God not another human. Of myself. I can't myself that I don't know. But I want to be finally delivered from sin hopefully this in time! With patience within the year Amen! God bless even though I'm 20 and male I really hope this malevolence goes away because I feel really dangerous when I feel resentful and I do my best to my human ability to not feel that emotion in that dark corner of my head I really don't like it there I don't know if it's evil me anymore but I want God to snap me from mabey who I am but I want to change and no longer want to be this horrible boy I was and man I half still am. No longer!!
WOW! I had a "boss" for 3 years who was an absolute nightmare. She was definitely threatened by everyone/everything in the office, and she gaslight us all. It was 100% all her, and I knew that. My job is my job. Professional and personal should always remain separate. It's not my job to give them confidence.
I was told at an early age that it isn't your job to be a friend to someone in the workplace, do what you were hired to do. If you are the boss that goes double. Be kind, be fare, but be firm.
To Me: Be true to yourself. act normal, talk normal. Always use Your common sense. Be honest to yourself. not all people will like you. You don't need an attention from others, but always pay attention to yourself. You don't need to be perfect. Don't compare yourself with others coz everyone is unique. Be human.
Yes, we all have insecurities, but we are not all insecure. The difference is that confident people can live life without CONSTANTLY projecting their insecurities onto others. Insecure people seem to constantly lash out, and are often demeaning and degrading others to make themselves feel better, hightlighting other people's mistakes to keep the spotlight off of theirs. An insecure friend will throw you under the bus for validation and attention, etc.
true. i would say everyone has insecurities and there is a wide spectrum of how one deals with one's insecurities and how much their insecurities dominate their lives. Some people just occasionally have insecure moments, other people's entire lifestyle is based around staving off their insecurities. e.g. Kanye West
“Always be aware in life….” I have enough going on without worrying about other peoples insecurities. It might help to know this in a moment of annoyance or conflict- but I’m not going to start looking at everyone as if I have a responsibility not to “stir up” THEIR insecurities. Not my circus, not my monkey. That’s on them. You can never prevent another person from faulty thinking or perceptions- if you try, YOU end up people pleasing and having all kinds of issues yourself. Ignore their antics and move on somehow
You know you can be people pleasing in a rational manner, right ? You can set boundaries for yourself. Saying you don't have time to be kind because you've got your own issues is kinda selfish and will only make people more self-centred if that kind of mentality is encouraged.
Yeah, I totally get what you mean. Because believe it or not there is actually a reasonable type of insecurity and then you have people who are insanely insecure for the dumbest reasons. Such as, they refuse to be around people who dress well because they fear that their more simple style is going to make them look "less" in comparison. Or you have a talent and they get jealous of you while they have their own and act like you are arrogant or trying to stir up competition for openly admitting you're proud of your qualities and accomplishments. That isn't just being insecure, that's actually being weak minded. There is a difference between being unsure whether you're performing up to standard and actively avoiding people and situations who didn't even belittle you, all because you're operating on a wrong value system and falsely assuming that others are too.
I always was aware of that. The higher the position the more I question the person and their capabilities as most aren't deserving of their high positions and most are extremely insecure
How can you be constantly watching out for insecure ppl? When will you live up to your potential? Whats your life all about - be insecure enough to not upset other insecure ppl? On the contrary, its for each one of us to figure out what we ought to do with our lives. And some adjustments on day-to-day behavior is needed to progress to our goals...and in that context you must be able to assess everyone's egos and insecurities - Not to subvert yours but to manoeuvre out of situations that those doubtful toms can create for you. Great advice from the master, though. 🙏👍
The knowledge that EVERYONE, regardless of their status, has insecurities - has saved me as a human being. I don’t know where I learned this, but it gave me immeasurable empathy, compassion and confidence. I am so grateful. ❤️🩹🌎
I was doing my best for some boss, trying to make their team look good. Done so well he turned on me. Its so true they fear you will take their job. Its a fine line to walk to get to the top, and if your genuinely good at your job they will make it even more difficult for you. Some people build others up others will tear you down, and there is more of the latter. Tred carefully
the best bosses are the ones that have been there for a very long time. They have all their insecurities sorted out already & have built trust with everyone around them. They are such a blessing in the work force.
when I'm in the crowd, I train myself everyday to look less than myself and observe people more... I was a really anxious person, I always think about myself everytime I put myself outside with crowd.... Till I use robert greenes teaching in the laws of human nature, people are really insecure... I became more aware than usual on what kind of person to avoid, motivate and to be around... never rely on other peoples words, watch and observe their actions..
Mostly, they don't want to be outperformed and then replaced. They need a certain level of competence, as long as it doesn't result in competition. Then they may begin to punish you for excellence. If you have a secure boss, you are blessed.
I've been in a leadership position since I graduated university and yep. Especially when you're the boss for the first time it's odd. You understand very little of everyone's job, they ask you for help all the time, you have to appear secure and strong or some people will not respect you. It took me a year or so to really settle in and become secure in myself.
That's why I find it stupid that people are just dropped into high positions. You're supposed to work up work each position and make it to the boss level. That's why the boss normally supposed to know what to do.
You had none in the first place if you need a "higher position" to give you a or amplify your sense of security, sorry to be the bearer of this bad news for you.
Some people have made a great career out of merely laughing at the boss's dumb jokes. It's the only skill they have, and often-times pays much better than doing actual work.
@Dovah-chan because thats what corporations preach and want. For example, Elon musk wont even allow workers to unionize, if they do so they will be fired. but somehow we still put our faith in people like him to save humanity and the planet ! Ironic huh ! Food for thought?
Funny thing is I quit my job recently, I was the newest there btw, and the other employees told me this boss takes it a bit personal when an employee leaves. So while having the talk about it with the boss he was all right and very comforting, I got the sense anyway that he probably tries and wants to be the cool boss that everyone likes and maybe be seen as a friend in some way. He always greeted us with a fist pump.
This is so true. When you are able to look at your boss as a person who has a lot of responsibilities to the company and their employees you can respect where they are coming from in most situations a lot better. When business is good they are happy not just because the money is flowing in, but because they are able to bring more stability financially and mentally to their employees lives as well. When my bosses get agitated, frustrated or argumentative I have always found it helpful to take pause and look at the big picture and try to determine what the underlying cause of the behavior is at the moment. By being able to talk to them calmly and out of a place of respect; (which may be hard when you are being yelled out or disrespected), one on one and check in with how they are feeling it's clear that most of the time these emotions are stemming from their own insecurities. Employees often may look as their boss as unapproachable, but in most cases they are just overwhelmed and under pressure like most of us. Knowing someone else cares can make a huge difference in their day and like anyone else in the world knowing that they are seen and not alone makes a huge difference.💛 Such a great clip.✨
I ain't riddled with doubts. I have very few tbh. But then I studied Greene pretty diligently. Maybe that's part of the reason I have unstoppable confidence, hopefully for the right reasons
Me too . Absolutely hated it ! Dealing with people and their quirks is one of the most difficult things . Everyone should have to do it for a while . Then they will have more respect for those who do this job . I think some people have a natural talent for it like everything else !
True the best cure i found in some situations is that you're one person in one country in one planet in one galaxy serounded by millions of others other people who had worse than you where able to do it so take your chances
TREAT EVERYONE AS AN EQUAL. TREAT A BUM LIKE YOU TREAT A CE,EBRITY. BECAUSE WHEN YOU BREAK IT DOWN TO IT'S FINAL FORM, PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. WE ARE ALL THE SAME. SOME HAVE JUST CLIMBED HIGHER ON THAT SAME LADDER. BUT WHEN WE FALL, WE ALL HIT THE SAME GROUND.
Am sick if people insecurities, no matter what u do they always going to ve insecure , and the expect to u look dumber , less attractive less and less, sorry .. Am here to shine 😊🌻🌻🌻
Respect.... not always true...to b a great leader you need to learn how to b a good follower... understand when leadership is needed n acknowledge when to follow good direction, even when it's not coming from you or your idea....❤ would love to interview or have on a panel... this grown man is awesome n objective while acknowledging the subjectiveness of social norms, society n a male point of view shared objectively
if u have the ability to understand the common patterns of personalities , u can control their behaviors for good in secret .... specialy if u share with ur boss the same insecurities and problems .... some times we can do it ..and sometimes not ...no problem if we try for good if we can read the situation .
My first impression was a very strong one,’ repeated the prince. ‘When they took me away from Russia, I remember I passed through many German towns and looked out of the windows, but did not trouble so much as to ask questions about them. This was after a long series of fits. I always used to fall into a sort of torpid condition after such a series, and lost my memory almost entirely; and though I was not altogether without reason at such times, yet I had no logical power of thought. This would continue for three or four days, and then I would recover myself again. I remember my melancholy was intolerable; I felt inclined to cry; I sat and wondered and wondered uncomfortably; the consciousness that everything was strange weighed terribly upon me; I could understand that it was all foreign and strange. I recollect I awoke from this state for the first time at Basle, one evening; the bray of a donkey aroused me, a donkey in the town market. I saw the donkey and was extremely pleased with it, and from that moment my head seemed to clear.’ ‘A donkey? How strange! Yet it is not strange. Anyone of us might fall in love with a donkey! It happened in mythological times,’ said Madame Epanchin, looking wrathfully at her daughters, who had begun to laugh. ‘Go on, prince.’ ‘Since that evening I have been specially fond of donkeys. I began to ask questions about them, for I had never seen one before; and I at once came to the conclusion that this must be one of the most useful of animals-strong, willing, patient, cheap; and, thanks to this donkey, I began to like the whole country I was travelling through; and my melancholy passed away.’
@@johnnyboybegood5897The realization of paradise or heaven or perfection. You realize that reality is absolute perfection. With the realization of immortality you have no more fear because nothing bad can happen to you. You've literally transcended death and so as an immortal eternal being that you now realize that you are, you're in paradise. You're in heaven. You realize that heaven is right here right now. Heaven is not some place you go to. Heaven is just the realization of eternity, of absolute love.
They are usually also hyper aware of this so if you tell them they're doing a great job, they are onto you. Now they know that you know they are insecure, and they certainly don't 'need' to hear that from someone below them.. I still don't understand how to deal with this, especially if they are women, and you are an older man.
I am older than my boss and if i ask ANY technical questions , she thinks i am questioning her. If i give opinions, she thinks I am crossing her. So basically i can't talk or engage with her, she is basically the definition of an abusive relationship if this was a personal relationship - don't talk, let her talk and i don't exist unless she needs something
@@riobrasilsambashowssambist1453 this is exactly what I get.. we actually talked about it the other day and all she was concerned about was finding out what other people thought of her.. which was enough proof for me. Unfortunately I don't believe there is anything that you can do about it other than shut your mouth and stay in your place.
@@chrisbarnett4046 or you can talk to other people that work for the boss and communicate as a group what the group thinks about the boss. In a university settings students provide feed to their professors. I think this should be implemented in the workplace too.
Society functions on fear. A man goes out breaking his back each day because of the fear. The more successful a person is the more fear they function on.
Everyone should experience early in their adult life what it is like to be completely dependent, and what it is like to be in a position of power The world would be so much better
![Ice On My Teeth - ATEEZ エイティーズ 에이티즈 [Music Bank] | KBS WORLD TV 241115](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/c-n92OgbbwA/mqdefault.jpg)
This is true! When people being toxic to you that means you are stirring their insecurities.
First boss at work hated me ….
I just could not understand why. I didn’t realize that the entire environment was hugely toxic. I was over educated. And not bad looking….I was tortured and could not figure out the “why”. It’s taken me years to realize
We tend not to realize this, but it is so true.
How do you alter your behavior, in a general sense
@@mysterydiaz5302 same is happening with me too but now I don't want to know y
@@mysterydiaz5302 same here ugh. I worked so damn hard and couldn’t figure out why my boss hated me. I learned, researched, and implemented new innovative ideas and processes that increased revenue and efficiency. It made our dept look great but no matter what I did I could tell my boss hated me. This guy pulled me to the side and said kid, I know your young and it’s hard to see things sometimes but your boss is extremely envious and intimidated by you. “You’re doing things he hasn’t been able to do in his 10 years here. You need to leave and explore bigger opportunities.”. A lot clicked that day. I watched peoples actions now and make a concentrated effort to unlearn my naïve tendencies and behaviors. It’s helped me a lot.
In my teens, twenties, and thirties I was always worried about what people thought about me.
In my forties and fifties I gave up caring what people thought about me.
I'm in my sixties now and I've realized... No one was thinking about ME at all. They were thinking about themselves.
Everybody is always thinking about themselves.
I agree with you on we don't have to care too much about what people think of us, but, in my opinion, not everyone is always thinking about themselves.
More like, other people are always living from their own perspectives.
@@henrychang340
If you're thinking about other people, it's inevitably about how they have, are, or will affect your life.
We are not mere consciousnesses, void of a Self, sans Ego, floating in a sea of perceptions. Without a perceiver, there is no perception. Without perception, nothing exists. To be perceived there must first be a perceiver.
Quantum theory even seems to be hinting at this. Questioning whether anything exists before it is perceived. Schrodinger's cat is both alive and dead at the same time until it is perceived.
Some are hopeful and some are terrified that this idea might become a proof for the existence of God, the First Perceiver Who generates your existence, my existence, the existence of the universe itself because He perceives all of it at once.
There are even verses in the Bible that suggest this possibility.
"...all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." Colossians 1:17.
Something to think about.
@@terrifictomm Thank you for the long and detailed reply. It's something worth thinking about.
@@henrychang340
RUclips, it seems, is the only outlet for my philosophical musings. Ha!
You know you have an ego problem when your ego/pride is more important than the truth. Stay Focused!
So all the vaxxed got ab egoproblem?
I feel you on. I was a little butt hurt when a new employee called out my mistake. Later on I realized I shouldn't have yell at them for calling out a mistake I made. We all have to work together to do the best we can.
@@max2082I respect the hell out of that🫡
Wow. Said it well. It becomes a problem once it gets to that level
Yes, about my ego and pride in a serious situation. It was about being there and helping out but without getting the attention and a fell miserably with my ego.
Kinda knew this already with university professors and post-grad students. Once they feel you're writing better than them or laying out more interesting and newer ideas they start hating your guts and instead of encouraging you they level up their vicious criticism and evaluation. Not all but most are like this
Pathetic and sad
Very accurate.
Couldn't have put it better.
I defintely stirred up my previous boss' insecurities. She sought after validation of her work and needed verbal confirmation from others about her performance. I have a naturally reserved demeanor, I look back at this now and realized she was most insecure around me because she never knew what I was thinking, I didn't validate anything, didn't give any of my thoughts away; I just kept to myself and did my job. What to me was just part of my natural disposition, was threatening to her ego. I realize this is true of many people who seek approval from others, who need words of affirmation to soothe their self-esteem..when I don't give in to any of that, it is THEN that they become mean or attempt to bully me. They try to evoke a reaction from me with their combattive nature which is just a disguise for how frustrated they are that I don't validate them. I don't do it out of spite; I do it because if you want to be strong in this world you should never assign value to yourself based on the opinions of others. I indirectly train these behavioral types to be mentally stronger.
I'm exactly the same... I also can't fake flattery - I'm not well liked yet I'm respected for my quality and hard work.
Best thing I’ve learned is to let sh*t go and don’t take things personally because of people and their “insecurities! plus we are all Flawed inside in some way. so better just to keep it moving and try not to become bitter!the older you get as you see the “darker side of people and “human psychology 👏
🙏🙏this is it
You are right!
Always having a kind word to extend others has done me well in my life. It’s helped me build great relationships with people in higher positions than me and it’s helped me advance a lot in my career. Pro tip: the best compliment you can give someone is to ask them for advice on your forward progression. It isn’t an overt way to compliment them, but they’ll take it as such and think positively about you.
One of the smartest things I’ve actually heard. The last few sentences. Sometimes we need to calm down to not increase our grief. Shut up. It’s something I learn a lot. Like last week.
Oh my god this is so true. Especially sad when you’re kind, not doing anything, just minding your own business, and they lash out at you for no reason.
Why taking absolutely nothing personal is essential in this life
Those are some of the first things I assess when meeting and learning people. Their ego and insecurities. Tells me how to be handle the person and what not to say or do around them.
You realize that everyone has there own personal insecurities specific to their own life experience. To constantly gauge how you might be upsetting someone is an impossible task, and if you do live like that you will sacrifice yourself in the process worrying about minor nuances
Its really not the hard of you watch how the person goes about living their life. For example A person that’s rich has and insecurity of being seen as broke and/or homeless. A person who works out everyday has insecure of being seen as small, fat, or unattractive.
@@MrShamiAku nobody said u had to coddle them. But you can at least try to understand them as another human being.
@@kingdee5388 that's pretty broad. Look into cptsd, and childhood trauma triggers. There's so much complexity involved in this it's not something to be oversimplified like your examples. Furthermore, not everyone is chasing riches for the same reason so to assume that every rich person, or everyone who works out has the same blanket insecurities driving their actions just isn't factual. There's always more to everyones story
@@chrism8180 that trauma trigger can be a kid being bullied cuz he’s fat, Which in turn would cause that insecurity and lead them to be in the gym. And if you ask a rich person if they would rather be back broke and/or living paycheck to paycheck or stay rich what would the answer be? Its a easy guess. Another example, Marilyn Monroe was insecure of not being pretty or getting no attention from men, she would get called ugly and rejected. She learned how to be more attractive to men and she completely turned that around and became one of the most seductive actresses of all time she never lost the insecurity, she just masked it. Another one, Among Women who have been single for many years, they would slightly have an insecurity of not being able to get or keep a man because they find value in cute relationships. And a mans would be that they are a pussy if they are scared to ask that girl out that they find so attractive. We are all hiding something let’s not lie to ourselves. I know I make it sound simple but Its not that simple to see because we are so worried about ourselves instead of other people.
@@chrism8180 the idea of good only comes from bad. Whether their reason are good or not, underneath that passion is almost always an insecurity or trauma that causes it, which they are running from. We all do. I’ve read his books so I understand people and where he’s coming from.
I agree. Because of their insecurities you can't perform better than them or know more because it creates a problem for you.
Crazy how that is that way
Ignore other people's & their worries & get on with your own life.
I wish I had heard information like this when I was a teenager ( which predated social media, cell phones, internet etc). I was always so afraid of everyone because I truly believed everyone but me had it together. I believed I was alone in my thoughts and feelings, this info would have helped tremendously! Hoping it helps someone now ❤️
I am 20, I suffer from social anxiety not because I am afraid of people. I have been through a trauma from when I was only 11. I was sexually assaulted as a boy. Which I discovered recently. I have behavioural problems and lack of charisma totally. I was thinking my whole life that I am bad and this is all my fault. I don't really know if this video makes any difference. Because, I may go back to my previous state. But it really feels good in my heart.
@@nafissadik2754 you are not your past.
@@nafissadik2754Hey, it is not your fault at all. Let yourself out of this agony! Whoever has done it to you is someone who should be feeling guilty of the crime, not you. Live a life that is finally fair to you. You have suffered enough in the past and now love yourself! You deserve it!!
100% the same with thinking everyone had it together but me and feeling alone in my thoughts and feelings.
I’ve been feeding my boss’ ego and avoiding their insecurities for years, I must be some kinda genius. If I am pleased about something I’ve done, I tell my boss it’s thanks to them. Boom.
Gratitude, and compliments are easy to find, if we are looking. In the last few years, I’ve noticed, I am usually totally shocked at people who greet me, smile, or just open a door for me. I try to do the same, but it just no longer come natural.
@@ritagamez3732 CONTINUE, IT WILL MANIFEST NATURALLY. X
I like Mr Greene. The way he talks and explains things strikes a chord as he comes across as someone who has been has experienced things or seen them up close. Thank you.
I believe that there can be a very fine line between being kind, considerate, and mindful of others feelings, and ego ,and becoming a people pleaser. As a believer and follower of the Lord Jesus, one of the most important principles Christ taught was to please God, be true to self, the truth, and not be ruled by pleasing man. This was a serious issue for me and can lead to boundary issues. Learning to say "no " is difficult for a great many number of people.
Hi You're attractive mabey I'm a little too genuine with my thoughts but I try to be nice to myself and others. Today I was crying and almost sobbing fully towards my mom because she insulted me in some specific way and I emotionally broke and let my emotions into the conversation. I don't know why but I wasn't always like this and She says it's the gift of sobbing for others and even for the most of miniscule of events and situations. I don't know if it's good or bad. But I definitely believe That there's a fine line between everything. I'm a male though so I think the I'm not sure but since almost any female category says this I'm going to as those women do but not out of emotion I'm only pondering this response but so this sexist gynocentrism that has been created against males and especially grown adult human males is very anti male. And I know that if a man cries he's seen as less of a man and when I mentioned that fact to my mother she called that stupid because I was in my emotions and I had to let everything out. It's like you mostly expect females to be behaving like I am. But for the most of time I think. I was a emotionless male and that's when of course I had a hardened heart of cold dark bitterness that didn't want to let go of the nihilism the cynical sarcasm cynicism hedonism materilaism even and malevolence sometimes. Only when I open up about the scars I had in my heart did I cry I think. Or I was more resilient to make excuses to not heal and not necessarily pity party I mean that's kinda rude if you say that to someone who's wanting to get their life straight everyone needs a pity party sometimes but I would attack everyone and anyone when I was younger and even now recently but not so much anymore. Im not sure but I have psychopathic traits or I let the monster out inside from me and let it rampage everything because I cannot keep it under control when under pressure. I've done very malevolent actions that I've almost committed to and some I have actually done and very nasty deplorable thoughts. That's not anyone. But it's going to creep it's head if you're the scariest being because you don't know how to receive help and ask for help and help yourself in small ways by accepting that help and asking God to kick Satan out of here from your mind! I wasn't born a pshycopath. But I am a low functioning one. And there good pshycopaths who don't harm anyone I've learned which is strange however no wonder they call serial killers that serial killers because not all of them are necessarily crazy some willingly ask to go to hell and worse by not repenting!! So yeah I need help too wether it be with pshycologists like This man or Jordan Bernt Peterson who actually help. And it seems most atheist ones are useless which is really expected but sad I think because that may mean they do worse than they help no matter their intentions. I forgot but I think Jordan Bernt Peterson believes in God now thanks to his wife. I'm still longing for the stronger need to want to feel God in my heart and not a single drop of anything evil I hope that day comes to fruition because every time I had gone into a retreat I never healed and it's because I had my heart closed. It's really sad many humans will die not forgiving and being damning to themselves. I hate that they die that way I hate that Satan wins and I also hate that I couldn't do anything about it I ponder why I should ask God not another human. Of myself. I can't myself that I don't know. But I want to be finally delivered from sin hopefully this in time! With patience within the year Amen! God bless even though I'm 20 and male I really hope this malevolence goes away because I feel really dangerous when I feel resentful and I do my best to my human ability to not feel that emotion in that dark corner of my head I really don't like it there I don't know if it's evil me anymore but I want God to snap me from mabey who I am but I want to change and no longer want to be this horrible boy I was and man I half still am. No longer!!
Brilliant❤
WOW! I had a "boss" for 3 years who was an absolute nightmare. She was definitely threatened by everyone/everything in the office, and she gaslight us all. It was 100% all her, and I knew that. My job is my job. Professional and personal should always remain separate. It's not my job to give them confidence.
I was told at an early age that it isn't your job to be a friend to someone in the workplace, do what you were hired to do. If you are the boss that goes double. Be kind, be fare, but be firm.
Fair btw
So wrong.
To Me: Be true to yourself. act normal, talk normal. Always use Your common sense. Be honest to yourself. not all people will like you. You don't need an attention from others, but always pay attention to yourself. You don't need to be perfect. Don't compare yourself with others coz everyone is unique. Be human.
You’re very sensible
Very true and very well said ❤️
Very much so.
Brilliant 🎉
Roberts calm and deep understanding makes magic.
Yes, we all have insecurities, but we are not all insecure. The difference is that confident people can live life without CONSTANTLY projecting their insecurities onto others. Insecure people seem to constantly lash out, and are often demeaning and degrading others to make themselves feel better, hightlighting other people's mistakes to keep the spotlight off of theirs. An insecure friend will throw you under the bus for validation and attention, etc.
I agree!
true. i would say everyone has insecurities and there is a wide spectrum of how one deals with one's insecurities and how much their insecurities dominate their lives. Some people just occasionally have insecure moments, other people's entire lifestyle is based around staving off their insecurities. e.g. Kanye West
Haha, definitely true, spot on !
True, I always felt like I was being punished or overlooked by the boss, even though I was a good worker.
“Always be aware in life….” I have enough going on without worrying about other peoples insecurities. It might help to know this in a moment of annoyance or conflict- but I’m not going to start looking at everyone as if I have a responsibility not to “stir up” THEIR insecurities. Not my circus, not my monkey. That’s on them. You can never prevent another person from faulty thinking or perceptions- if you try, YOU end up people pleasing and having all kinds of issues yourself. Ignore their antics and move on somehow
You know you can be people pleasing in a rational manner, right ? You can set boundaries for yourself. Saying you don't have time to be kind because you've got your own issues is kinda selfish and will only make people more self-centred if that kind of mentality is encouraged.
Yeah, I totally get what you mean. Because believe it or not there is actually a reasonable type of insecurity and then you have people who are insanely insecure for the dumbest reasons. Such as, they refuse to be around people who dress well because they fear that their more simple style is going to make them look "less" in comparison. Or you have a talent and they get jealous of you while they have their own and act like you are arrogant or trying to stir up competition for openly admitting you're proud of your qualities and accomplishments. That isn't just being insecure, that's actually being weak minded. There is a difference between being unsure whether you're performing up to standard and actively avoiding people and situations who didn't even belittle you, all because you're operating on a wrong value system and falsely assuming that others are too.
❤
I always was aware of that. The higher the position the more I question the person and their capabilities as most aren't deserving of their high positions and most are extremely insecure
Exactly, titles don't mean anything
@@Eman14128Glad to see others seeing this. If only we could be more.
How can you be constantly watching out for insecure ppl? When will you live up to your potential? Whats your life all about - be insecure enough to not upset other insecure ppl? On the contrary, its for each one of us to figure out what we ought to do with our lives. And some adjustments on day-to-day behavior is needed to progress to our goals...and in that context you must be able to assess everyone's egos and insecurities - Not to subvert yours but to manoeuvre out of situations that those doubtful toms can create for you. Great advice from the master, though. 🙏👍
The knowledge that EVERYONE, regardless of their status, has insecurities - has saved me as a human being. I don’t know where I learned this, but it gave me immeasurable empathy, compassion and confidence. I am so grateful. ❤️🩹🌎
this man is legend , he has all my respect
Thank You ....... Amen ....... 🙏😇
Gotta be aware of people's insecurities...
Robert, I’ve listened to your audiobook for Mastery. I’m now listening to 48 Powers of Law. I hope I can meet you one day.
Protect this man!
Youre absolutely right. I respect that outlook.
I was doing my best for some boss, trying to make their team look good. Done so well he turned on me. Its so true they fear you will take their job.
Its a fine line to walk to get to the top, and if your genuinely good at your job they will make it even more difficult for you.
Some people build others up others will tear you down, and there is more of the latter. Tred carefully
Learnt this the hard way. I finally concluded the corporate world wasnt my thing.
the best bosses are the ones that have been there for a very long time. They have all their insecurities sorted out already & have built trust with everyone around them. They are such a blessing in the work force.
Great information! Simply asking your boss to reaffirm their expectations regularly helps.
when I'm in the crowd, I train myself everyday to look less than myself and observe people more... I was a really anxious person, I always think about myself everytime I put myself outside with crowd.... Till I use robert greenes teaching in the laws of human nature, people are really insecure... I became more aware than usual on what kind of person to avoid, motivate and to be around... never rely on other peoples words, watch and observe their actions..
never outshine the master
The first of 48 laws
@@OnichanDeez do you have a favorite law ?
@@jensohyou didn't ask but mine is do not commit to anyone. Don't chose sides or back your self in a corner.
@@jacoblape thanks, i like that one. i read a cool quote in another robert greene comment section: From the tree of silence hangs the fruit of peace.
Well, if you keep yourself under that situation, you will never get anymore. Time to move on.
When Robert talks, I listen 👂
Only crappy bosses get insecure when employees do well
U must be an alien
Not quite!
Mostly, they don't want to be outperformed and then replaced. They need a certain level of competence, as long as it doesn't result in competition. Then they may begin to punish you for excellence. If you have a secure boss, you are blessed.
🤡
You’re living in a as fantasy land when you make such simplistic deductions
I can listen to this man all day
I've been in a leadership position since I graduated university and yep. Especially when you're the boss for the first time it's odd. You understand very little of everyone's job, they ask you for help all the time, you have to appear secure and strong or some people will not respect you. It took me a year or so to really settle in and become secure in myself.
That's why I find it stupid that people are just dropped into high positions. You're supposed to work up work each position and make it to the boss level. That's why the boss normally supposed to know what to do.
"You might be stirring up his insecurities." Wow!! I just learned something awesome. Thank you!
Not your f
We need more of you on the internet. Seriously.
I am blessed to have awesome managers.
A higher position doesn’t nullify your state of security, it amplifies it.
You had none in the first place if you need a "higher position" to give you a or amplify your sense of security, sorry to be the bearer of this bad news for you.
@@Ice.muffin I think he is saying the exposure that comes with a higher position amplifies insecurities, not nullifies them.
An effective leader is someone who works well with all team members by measuring their outcome, while keeping your biases in check.
Some people have made a great career out of merely laughing at the boss's dumb jokes. It's the only skill they have, and often-times pays much better than doing actual work.
Wow good point 😆
Lol do what works for you is my motto. I can't suck up to save my life l, but I do my job and mind my own business.
Most people just suck up and kick down. Hence, the work culture is so fooked.
show me the opportunity to meet up and I will laugh cry suck run swim.... so that I can get a chance to meet with..
@Dovah-chan because thats what corporations preach and want. For example, Elon musk wont even allow workers to unionize, if they do so they will be fired. but somehow we still put our faith in people like him to save humanity and the planet ! Ironic huh ! Food for thought?
This voice is so soothing
It can be hypotising
Funny thing is I quit my job recently, I was the newest there btw, and the other employees told me this boss takes it a bit personal when an employee leaves. So while having the talk about it with the boss he was all right and very comforting, I got the sense anyway that he probably tries and wants to be the cool boss that everyone likes and maybe be seen as a friend in some way. He always greeted us with a fist pump.
This is so true. When you are able to look at your boss as a person who has a lot of responsibilities to the company and their employees you can respect where they are coming from in most situations a lot better. When business is good they are happy not just because the money is flowing in, but because they are able to bring more stability financially and mentally to their employees lives as well. When my bosses get agitated, frustrated or argumentative I have always found it helpful to take pause and look at the big picture and try to determine what the underlying cause of the behavior is at the moment. By being able to talk to them calmly and out of a place of respect; (which may be hard when you are being yelled out or disrespected), one on one and check in with how they are feeling it's clear that most of the time these emotions are stemming from their own insecurities. Employees often may look as their boss as unapproachable, but in most cases they are just overwhelmed and under pressure like most of us. Knowing someone else cares can make a huge difference in their day and like anyone else in the world knowing that they are seen and not alone makes a huge difference.💛 Such a great clip.✨
I ain't riddled with doubts. I have very few tbh. But then I studied Greene pretty diligently. Maybe that's part of the reason I have unstoppable confidence, hopefully for the right reasons
And so humble as well, yeah ?
This speaks to what I am going through with work right now.
You can't please everyone nor should you have too. People need to talk more to dismiss pre conceived notions about a situation, especially at work.
So consideration and respect at the same time
Lesson here is work on your own shit. Know what's right and wrong for you, so you can draw healthy boundaries and set expectations with others.
True. Never out shine your master.
Silly, but truth.
I was the boss once.
Hated it. Never again.
You were probably a manager or supervisor
Me too . Absolutely hated it ! Dealing with people and their quirks is one of the most difficult things . Everyone should have to do it for a while . Then they will have more respect for those who do this job . I think some people have a natural talent for it like everything else !
Where has this man been all my life. He speaks of all the bloody wars I've lost when I had no idea why anyone was at war.
I find the flaws in every person I meet immediately to protect myself from any insult they may be planning to say to me
😂😂😂😂
True the best cure i found in some situations is that you're one person in one country in one planet in one galaxy serounded by millions of others other people who had worse than you where able to do it so take your chances
I am just myself around him. He is terrified of me. But I’m also not insecure, at all.
It's true. Many times I had bosses with insecurities....I was doing my job plus theirs...
TREAT EVERYONE AS AN EQUAL. TREAT A BUM LIKE YOU TREAT A CE,EBRITY. BECAUSE WHEN YOU BREAK IT DOWN TO IT'S FINAL FORM, PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE. WE ARE ALL THE SAME. SOME HAVE JUST CLIMBED HIGHER ON THAT SAME LADDER. BUT WHEN WE FALL, WE ALL HIT THE SAME GROUND.
Word
This.
This!
✅
SPOT ON THE BARREL
That’s what healing is all about working through all your trauma and insecurities you have
Am sick if people insecurities, no matter what u do they always going to ve insecure , and the expect to u look dumber , less attractive less and less, sorry ..
Am here to shine 😊🌻🌻🌻
Exactly I'm sick of it, your problem not my.
Amen
You are absolutely correct about that, Sir
Great advice
Best philosopher of our time 🙏🙏🙏 his voice and the way he gets his point across is incredible a modern Socrates
Dude never met my old boss. She hated everyone, except me. Okay, me too.
Respect.... not always true...to b a great leader you need to learn how to b a good follower... understand when leadership is needed n acknowledge when to follow good direction, even when it's not coming from you or your idea....❤ would love to interview or have on a panel... this grown man is awesome n objective while acknowledging the subjectiveness of social norms, society n a male point of view shared objectively
People‘s insecurities don’t dictate my behavior.
Some men call this “bucking” if said by a woman .🐎🤣
But your own insecurities do.
it shouldn't dictate your actions, however, it doesn't hurt to at least be aware so you can act accordingly.
if u have the ability to understand the common patterns of personalities , u can control their behaviors for good in secret .... specialy if u share with ur boss the same insecurities and problems ....
some times we can do it ..and sometimes not ...no problem if we try for good if we can read the situation .
Leverage is always good.
This hit me! I have wondered why I often have problems with female superiors, but never with male superiors. It all makes some sense now.
Be nice to the people on the way up, you just might meet them on the way down.
Tenk you somuch
The prensiple is stay whit Great
ETITUT ALWAYS TENK YOU
All bosses don't have major insecurities. Some just don't care.
As someone who has been trying to overcome insecure attachment from childhood this really helps thank you 🙏
My first impression was a very strong one,’ repeated the prince. ‘When they took me away from Russia, I remember I passed through many German towns and looked out of the windows, but did not trouble so much as to ask questions about them. This was after a long series of fits. I always used to fall into a sort of torpid condition after such a series, and lost my memory almost entirely; and though I was not altogether without reason at such times, yet I had no logical power of thought. This would continue for three or four days, and then I would recover myself again. I remember my melancholy was intolerable; I felt inclined to cry; I sat and wondered and wondered uncomfortably; the consciousness that everything was strange weighed terribly upon me; I could understand that it was all foreign and strange. I recollect I awoke from this state for the first time at Basle, one evening; the bray of a donkey aroused me, a donkey in the town market. I saw the donkey and was extremely pleased with it, and from that moment my head seemed to clear.’ ‘A donkey? How strange! Yet it is not strange. Anyone of us might fall in love with a donkey! It happened in mythological times,’ said Madame Epanchin, looking wrathfully at her daughters, who had begun to laugh. ‘Go on, prince.’ ‘Since that evening I have been specially fond of donkeys. I began to ask questions about them, for I had never seen one before; and I at once came to the conclusion that this must be one of the most useful of animals-strong, willing, patient, cheap; and, thanks to this donkey, I began to like the whole country I was travelling through; and my melancholy passed away.’
Sir this is a wendys
@@johnnyboybegood5897The realization of paradise or heaven or perfection. You realize that reality is absolute perfection. With the realization of immortality you have no more fear because nothing bad can happen to you. You've literally transcended death and so as an immortal eternal being that you now realize that you are, you're in paradise. You're in heaven. You realize that heaven is right here right now. Heaven is not some place you go to. Heaven is just the realization of eternity, of absolute love.
What a video… you just described me, having doubts about if I’m doing enough at my job and do people respect me ect. Love your content
Their insecurities are their own problem.
Just do your very best at work.
Ask questions, learn. Love what
you do. Bosses are organizers.
lucia
If you start trying understand your bosses insecurities then you are the boss .
this man is a god, highly intelligent, and incredibly affluant. his works have chaned my life forever. and ive only taken in 48 laws.
This guy is a genius, I really love his books they changed my life.
truth,everyone has insecurities,but its how u carry it🥰🙏🙏
Yep! We all have ego and insecurities no matter how we fake it👌🏿😘
Fact’s, Mr Green you are the Man 🙏🏻🙏🏻
You have to trust people. But who you trust, culture etc probably where those insecurities might be derived from 😊
I love that he's here !!
They are usually also hyper aware of this so if you tell them they're doing a great job, they are onto you. Now they know that you know they are insecure, and they certainly don't 'need' to hear that from someone below them.. I still don't understand how to deal with this, especially if they are women, and you are an older man.
I am older than my boss and if i ask ANY technical questions , she thinks i am questioning her. If i give opinions, she thinks I am crossing her. So basically i can't talk or engage with her, she is basically the definition of an abusive relationship if this was a personal relationship - don't talk, let her talk and i don't exist unless she needs something
I’m a woman working for an older man and it’s tough… he is nice but it seems like if I do well he finds things stupid things to pick on. Idk
@@riobrasilsambashowssambist1453 this is exactly what I get.. we actually talked about it the other day and all she was concerned about was finding out what other people thought of her.. which was enough proof for me. Unfortunately I don't believe there is anything that you can do about it other than shut your mouth and stay in your place.
@@chrisbarnett4046 or you can talk to other people that work for the boss and communicate as a group what the group thinks about the boss. In a university settings students provide feed to their professors. I think this should be implemented in the workplace too.
Beautiful life advice
Society functions on fear. A man goes out breaking his back each day because of the fear. The more successful a person is the more fear they function on.
For this season my favor that's my freedom to make in my life. It's my reality need a breakthrough and fullfelment
An insecure person will do anything to maintain their ego and that makes them very dangerous.
On point!
Evolved People are those who are aware of the insecurities that arise and know how to move through them..
My boss told me I was the best *the absolute best* at my job. Then he fired me for "disrespecting him". haha
You triggered him without even knowing it.
Truths that are hard to implement
I can’t care less what ppl think of me .. I have no insecurities of life. The only thing I worry about is pleasing God
That's profound and correct.
Everyone should experience early in their adult life what it is like to be completely dependent, and what it is like to be in a position of power
The world would be so much better