How does touch affect our mental and physical health? | DW Documentary
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- Опубликовано: 31 май 2024
- Touch shapes us as humans. Indeed, touch is fundamental to what makes us social beings. Touch influences how we perceive stress and pain, who we trust and who we fear. How does this work? And what happens to us in the absence of touch?
Gentle touch is vital for us humans. It creates the first contact with the world for newborns, giving us a sense of security and belonging. Touch influences our immune system, and on our feelings for our fellow human beings. Especially strong feelings, such as love or compassion, can be better conveyed through touch than through words, facial expressions or gestures.
Given how important touch is, it’s no surprise that humans have a highly specialized system devoted exclusively to perceiving gentle touch stimuli. Why does the touch of a stranger feel so different to that of someone we are emotionally close to? What is happening in our brain - and what role does the brain play in all this?
In an era of social distancing, touch research is becoming increasingly relevant. How does it affect us, and our relationships, when we are required to keep our distance? Researchers explore what role touch plays in our physical and emotional well-being, and what the consequences are when touch is missing.
#documentary #dwdocumentary #touch
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As someone who's touch deprived, socially awkward and staying away from family, this documentary hit me hard..... All I want is some physical affection....
😥😥😥
I don’t know if this will help but how about a Virtual hug 🤗
@@renaesowell2300 I like this idea, virtual hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 for Robbie 🤗🤗🤗
Sounds very British of you.
@@geoffreyharris5931 actually... I'm Indian
Once I was in hospital with a collapsed lung. The doctor was on my left side pushing a vacuum tube through my chest and between my ribs. The doctor's assistant was on my right side holding my hand and lightly stroking my forearm with her fingertips. All my pain and anxiety evaporated through her touch. It was absolutely amazing.
Sweet Caroline ! Touching You, Touching Me ! 💕💕💕
Nice memory ! How did you get the collapsed lung?
As a kid I was denied hugs by my absentee parent, being told I was too old for hugs. 🥴🙄 I left home in the 11th grade.
Wow, a good story, very touching and inspirational, I will remember this and use touch as often as is appropriate. ❤👍
It's a good thing, they weren't shoving that Vacuum tube up your Wazoo. You would've needed more than a light forearm stroking🤣
Lovely. My mom’s been in the hospital for too many months now, and I can totally see what you’re saying. Thank you for your story!
from my own personal experience I can say that not being touched for 3 years has been a very lonely, depressive, sad journey. Yes, touch does matter.
Try 17 years ! -- After dating all my life I gave at 58 years old . The world has little use for older single men.
@@bogtrottername7001 I know it's not my place, we don't know each other, but instantly reading your words made me think of all the elderly citizens who have been stowed away and forgotten in "old age homes " by family who don't have time for them. Those people would sure appreciate your visits and hugs and gentle touch. I used to do that as a volunteer. It can be tough because those places can be depressing, seeing how neglected some of them are, but I focused on the goal of giving companionship to the most lonely and isolated. I learned a lot from some of those elderly ladies and gentlemen. Plus, when we give in this kind of way, it's scientifically been proven to boost our immune function, so we also benefit. ❤
I am sad that you are feeling that way...my own needs are very limited in the touch area..l too had a complicated and difficult early childhood so l don't need or want a partner or companion but understand those who do....hope you'll soon be united with someone you can be happy with❤
Get a massage or spa day
I've also been without touched for over three years! The thing is that I became averse to touch
When my son was born he was premature about 6 weeks. The doctors were worried he had menagitus and they didn't allow us to touch him for 3 days and he hardly moved and wouldn't eat, etc. Once he was allowed to be held he came alive and started being much healthier. I am sure it's because he was touched by myself and my wife at the time. It does matter. He's now 28 and in his last year of medical school. ♥️🤘♥️
27 or 18? youre not sure how old your own son is?
@@Thewipah7 It was a typo. I meant 27 or 28. He's 28.
@@Thewipah7 hahaha
In a U.S. NICU even 2 pound babies were given touch through an opening. It was light touch for short periods. Doctors found these babies did better.
At that age all creatures require a lot of attention and touch.
As someone whose primary love language is physical touch, this documentary is immensely, tremendously validating.
Wow a man who actually read the book.
@@hippopotamusanonymous1580 Yeah. That's impressive.
Wow great on 2 counts. 1) You actually know your love language which is really helpful & 2) Great that what is incredibly valuable to you actually costs nothing. ♡
your all funny. bet you all supported the restrictions on your personal freedoms too. how did your love feelings take that?
Haha sounds like Elle from 90 day fiancé. She said those exact words many times on the show. I feel you though I’m the same way.
My father is a cuddler, my mother not so much. In our family, us three siblings feel much closer to our father and will pour our heart out in front of him in times of trouble. I must mention here that our mother is equally loving but not so touchy feely. So yes, the Power of touch matters a lot.
And now that I am married, my husband who doesn't have a history of cuddling in his family loves the cuddling. He says it makes him forget all the worries. In times of COVID when we were newly married, and tensions about our health and our finances were bogging us down, just holding hands used to convey the msg that we are together in this and we will get through this. So not only children and elderly but us adults also require these. Especially in these difficult volatile times when war and disease has violated our peace of mind and has ripped it asunder.
Take care guys and express your love to people who matter to you.
This is lovely. Touch can really make a change.
I relate so much to this. My mother is very loving but she doesn't like hugs or touching that much unlike my dad who had it as one of his daily routines to hug us once he wakes up and goes to check on us and for him when he comes back from work. We would line up me and my 4 younger siblings just to great him and hug him once he steps inside the house. But weirdly enough I didn't turn up like my dad and I avoid unnecessary touching at all costs. Even though I am very touchy when it comes to my younger siblings. I don't quit understand myself when it comes to this part of me as I carave touching and to be touched but I avoid It at all costs (unless it's with the kids lol). I hope that If I ended up marrying my now bf that I can be as touchy as possible as I acknowledge the power of gentle touches and how it can change us as humans. btw he also comes from a family with no history in cuddling or touching :")
@@s.f6851 As you said, you avoid unnecessary touching and are very cuddly with your siblings. That just means that you are very selective in your affection and that is totally relatable. I am sure that you will keep spreading love and affection to all the people who matter in your life. All the best..
Honestly, sometimes RUclips comments can be the most sanest thing in my world.
Yours is one of those.
Take care and greetings from South Africa.
Yes indeed. Hug, cuddle, stroke. Tell people you love them when they are alive, rather than crying at their grave. Even when you stroke or pet a cat they look at you quite loving and wide eyed. If they could speak, what would they say?
My Grandma passed away two weeks ago, she was 65 and it was an abrupt death. She was literally my second mom and I lived with her for 5 years and she was there for me since the day I was born. When I went to see her for the last time her eyes were glassy and all she could do is grunt but I held her hand and told her how much I loved her. Although she couldn't respond I have a feeling she was comfortable and knew she was very loved. She quite literally was the most innocent person I've ever seen in my entire life, she was a teacher for disabled kids, always donated every week to shelters and homeless, and always found all the simple things in life joyful. R.i.p grandma
This was so hard to read. I too was very close with my grandma and also felt she was my second mom. And she died in her early 60s as well. Only I wasn't able to be there. And I couldn't say goodbye or give her one last hug. I'm still so heartbroken and it's been almost 20 years.
Thank you guys, I genuinely appreciate the nice comments it helps
What a loss for you but so glad you were able to be there as she went home...you'll see her again and she can tell you how glad that she was not alone but that you were woth her as she was when you needed her ❤
RIP grandma ❤️
I am sorry for your loss, she will be always remembered! Much love!
My parents didn’t do hugs or physical touch. My mother still finds it weird and I don’t think I’ve ever hugged my dad. Luckily when I met my partner he taught me to first endure and then enjoy touch, even just holding hands was bizarre for me at the start. Now I hug my children every day and enjoy doing so.
My patient passed away (he’s hospice) and he took his last breath before my eyes with family members around me crying and didn’t know what to do while I was there holding his hand and touching his shoulder and telling him it’s gonna be okay and that we love him.
The following day my unit manager told me that the family members gave me a positive review and that I was the best Nurse they’ve seen but I just I hope I made him comfortable as he passed and I hope that when I die someone will hold my hand.
I suppose everyone is different. When I make my transition into and beyond the veil, I won't require anything from anyone, nor will I want anyone to touch me nor be around my body. 🙂 I'll need to concentrate, focus, attune, and be working my hardest at the most difficult technique which only a mere handful of souls comprehend.
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
'Reflection is key to unlock celestial mysteries beyond the void veil." --Artemis (DD3)
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
I have also noticed, that people I hug a lot and for a long time, become closer to me mentally and give me a lot more attention and support. It has happened with friends and lovers.
So true, I absolutely love hugs, stroking skin and find it so relaxing. Keep smiling and be safe 💕💕💕🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
@@mariaconnolly6672 Aww!! Thank you for the sweet comment!! You too Stay safe!! 💕
There should be people in hospitals and nursing homes whose job it is to give gentle touch to the patients. This is medically necessary!
Yes, I would recommend that, as a sick person for a decade now. Please make this part of healing process, of course with patient discretion
I am a nurse and I always try to give friendly touches to my patients.
I was a volunteer at my local hospital and they trained me in gentle touch, I was part of the dementia team and went round for chats and hand massages
There is a foundation in my country that has volunteers hold, talk to and accompany babies that were abandoned after birth. These babies could be born healthy but the lack of care and contact caused serious developmental lag (they don’t fix their eyes, no muscle tone). It’s just evident that we need it and I tell everyone to curtail kids’ screen-play alone time if only for this reason only. And we also need to touch other elements, plus the scent and voice of other humans.
Gentle hand massage works wonders
I always wondered why Americans are much more depressed than Mexicans. I always suspected it was because in México we greet everyone with a mini hug and kiss. I remember first hating it because I wasn’t used to it but now I love it!!! The emotional connections I make with people when I travel to México are so strong. It makes the community feel like extended family in a sense. I feel so lonely here in the us even though I’m surrounded by people.
So interesting!!
I’ve noticed as an American I am almost repulsed when a stranger touches me. Especially any type of hug. Never knew why. I’m VERY affectionate to my children, however. & do enjoy being close to them.
@@Kenzingo I mean, it depends on the person. I'm Mexican and I hate being touched, the only person I feel comfortable with touching me is my partner, and growing up I avoided the typical hug and kiss on the cheek.
But all of that seems to be rooted on my personal trauma since apparently I suffer from complex PTSD.
thats how the iltalians greet each other ,half hug n kiss n the cheek n a handshake , makes since men too same greet
Thanks for mentioning it ! This is soo true, you should turn it into a Ted Talk
Beautiful comment, lalazysusan. My culture is also very into touching, kissing, hugging, and I just feel alive. Here in the U.S people are very concerned about getting close to people and touching anybody, unless they know each other. No wonder many people own animals.
As an Indian, it’s shocking to listen that physical closeness with babies was frowned upon. Gosh. We have tradition of baby massage, it’s mandatory, develops bond with mom, grandma. Even singing to them is considered good, even when they are in womb. Garbhasanskar is mentioned too. Speaking good and positive while pregnant, reading moral stories etc, music. Massaging mother after delivery is also recommended.
I believe this is a huge divide between east and west but especially between the east and the US. This happened because we are so brainwashed to believe in self-reliance and personal responsibility that we believed that giving a nurturing environment necessary for a child's development was coddling the child and they would mature to a world that won't accommodate their needs, so they should be more prepared for how the world is instead of what is needed. This was the mindset. We never realized the paradox of "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps". At the end of the day, the difference is that you come from a culture that is collectively trained and the west, especially the US, is independently trained. We live sheltered lives and our families and communities are weak if not broken.
@@MichaelSmith-fy1jj Excellent summary between East and West but the Germans seem to be doing OK among Europeans. They are more similar to the East. Although when I was growing up and hadn't met a single German they were said to be aloof.
@@MichaelSmith-fy1jj well that’s apt. Analysis. Well india is also undergoing westernisation, the collective sense is replacing with individual self reliance, especially in cities. But I guess housing crisis is another reason that people who used to stay in joint family are moving towards nuclear ones. Both have their advantages, as a young person I will prefer individual self reliant life, but on weekends, I end up visiting my mom’s home. It’s good to be different & learn from each other’s society.
@@abrahamdecruz5128 I heard German weddings are dope.
@@abrahamdecruz5128 Interesting. I'll have to learn more about Germany's approach. I imagine the Scandinavian countries have a balanced approach.
My parents never hugged us, nor held our hands. There was hardly any physical contact when growing up. Till this day I am still uncomfortable with physical contact and hugs. I find it difficult and extremely awkward to touch or hug others. It is very lonely.
Where are they from? Where did you grow up. So sorry to learn such horrible experience
Similar experience here. I can feel my parents' love but not through touch. Therefore I am a bit awkward with touch.
I had to be taught to give a kiss on the cheek. I had to tell myself to hug my relatives. As I am auditory , I already feel loved when people say supportive things to me. So not really needing touch , but it would be a nice bonus.
Same
Change for the better
Same here
My great-granddaughter is a pandemic baby, so it was almost a year before I finally saw her in more than just a photo. Because I have been vulnerable to any kind of infection for several years, I spend most of my life alone, so when that little girl climbed into my arms, it was like being filled with light. I sat there nearly two hours (believe me, I didn’t mind!), partly because she fell asleep. Her Mum was surprised because that had never happened before. I believe it’s because we were communicating at a deep, non-verbal level: entirely through touch ... something I hadn’t experienced in much more than a year. She had a great little nap .... and I walked on air for days.
😊😊😊😍😍😍😍
Aw❤️
Such a beautiful comment.
I was born in Europe and moved to the US when I was young so I know the difference in culture for sure. That being said. I have been touch deprived for the last seven years of my marriage. There was also no emotional intimacy. No kind words. No gratitude. All she wanted was that I worked. So I am finally getting out after 21 years. I stayed for the kids. Very sad but without love there is death. That's what I feel. Hopefully I can find a partner who likes to love and be loved in return. In my personal opinion; love is the only meaning of life.
That's why marriage collapse
I truly hope you find someone suitable. 💕 I totally understand your position.
You're very strong to make that decision. All the blessings to you. I'm curious about your comment. Where do you think people are warmer, in the US or Europe and what part of Europe.
I'm mexican and latinos have a tendency to be warmer and touch people a lot. I sense Anglo countries and European ones are a little or much colder than us.
I once was in Germany and there was a moment where I wanted to cry, people seemed to me even harsh
@@marte1376there's a big difference within Europe itself. Southern Europeans are more touchy and friendlier. More family-oriented. Whereas you go north falls more apart. It's a culture thing.
@@marte1376 and you're correct about Germans. From my perspective, also British, French, North Europe in general.
Every time I watch a video I always see the comment section and when there a lot of people sharing their stories here it makes me a little less lonely and a bit more happy.Thank you all.
I'm the little sister of two brothers. Once I got 104 fever with severe body ache. I was 12 years old then and they were 14 and 17 . My parents were out for job. My brothers started washing my head with cold water, puting cold compression all over my body and gently massaging my arms and legs. Within 40 minutes my fever went down to 101, I felt much better.
I am a very physical person and like cuddling and hugging. I haven’t been touched by someone for many years.
I think there is millions of people who go through the same thing and never talk about it...
Yhea..
There are millions of people like this including me
No wonder
I mean i haven't had a real hug from anyone in years now and i remember at school someone got dared to hug me for 5 seconds because they were playing dare or double dare, and soon as that person gave it to me i froze, stood up, and walked to the restroom.
I sat down on the floor and almost cried out of joy? I just can't describe how relieved i felt after being hugged by a person i didn't know.
Even if they didn't have to it still felt like a huge relief.
Thanks for sharing, it certainly can be a very harsh world. We need more loving kindness and some more hugs for sure. Have a great weekend 🙏
Aw x
@@larsstougaard7097 have a great weekend as well
I send you a virtual hug. ❤
@@JaZmine147 shipping away one to ya as well
In India... a touch is almost always taken in a bad way... a touch really helps to heal... but I never hugged my father just because its awkward.. I can't hug a male friend because its taken as offensive in our society.. Here when someone touches some other person of opposite sex.. its almost taken in a sexual way which is not always correct.. but its also true that here a touch is almost an indicator of insecurity, as we all can see the rise in rape cases in India.. a girl can't take a touch from a male in a positive way in the first place, just because of this harassment issue... this is reducing the value of touch in the society. I will really be happy when people in India will be able to move freely without worrying about a bad touch and really get the support of touch when he or she needs it..
True that 💯
Keep dreaming, the way India is headed that change won't be coming soon.
@@MomeGnome surely this is not universal across all communities in the USA ?
This is a sad situation in India. And it seems that the percentage of women is so weak, too many men in the country make them go crazy... As well as wrong education. 😒
But, on the other hand, there is a tradition (Ayruveda medecine) where touch is highly important. And not seen as obscene, but as unconditional pure empathy, , without any other intentions.
Also, in India, babies are massaged during early years until about the age of 5. That makes them strong and healthy for life ! 😅
In other places of the world, it is also taboo to touch someone, one doesn't know. Or in a loving (but not sexual) way. A pity.
It's all about education...
And these lockdowns and so on don't help !! Distanciation without kind words or good intentions, is harmful.
I totally agree.
This gives me deep understanding and validation of my life’s work. I’ve been a massage therapist for 20 years. What is shown in this documentary I have always felt, but not been able to explain scientifically. This fascinates me and brings healing touch and academic study together. Thank you 🙏🏻
💪♥️🙏
If you haven't done so already I encourage you to do reiki. And maybe Reflexology too. Reiki adds a lot of healing power every time you touch someone. You can also regularly treat yourself - which might be the most powerful use of reiki. It causes great healing and growth if done regularly. It has that in common with meditation.
@@brianlittrell797 💪♥️🙏
@@albertusagterberg6093 💜💜
Touch is healing.
Anybody else feel really uncomfortable with physical contact but at the same time its really soothing and you want to be hugged? Like sometimes my mom tries to hug me and i avoid it but then the same day i hold myself in a warm shower to mimic a hug.
Yes, and at least for me, it depends on who the person is. If its somebody that im not really that close and they try to hug me, i'll try to avoid their touch
I'm the same . Im extremely uncomfortable with physical touch from family members, even though my mum raised me herself I still wouldn't hug her unless it was her birthday basically.... but im a huge cuddle bug, I miss the physical affection from my ex and hold myself at night .... Idk why im so different with family vs a partner .... sometimes its because someone is nuerodiverse. You could be on the spectrum is some capacity. Its likely I am but I have no diagnosis
@@Dimitris_Balf nah fam shes like, my 2nd favorite family member out of everyone, maybe its just the fact that she likes to hug without asking?
@@_year-sb6sy it’s normal to somewhat reject the touch of close relatives. I think it’s because they are a threat to our essential individuality; at a certain point we needed them and then we needed to separate from them. Between siblings, nature makes their scent be unpleasant (to avoid incest).
it might be from being touch-starved, you should look it up
Before my spinal block for my c-section I was super scared because my family was not in the room with me, but a nurse took both of my hands and held them tight so the doctor could give me the shot. I will never forget how reassured I became just by her touch.
Yet another masterpiece documentary by DW. Impressed that complex scientific phenomenon has been explained in simple English. Thank you DW
Thank you for watching and for your positive feedback!
@@DWDocumentary love yall
sending a hug! 😂🤗
I like their documentation and language as well 🦖
Parents please if you've got children don't feel awkward hugging or holding their hands or touching their face because children crave their parents touch later in life and if they've never received that, they become unconnected with you and distance themselves from people. I for one love hugging, giving my daughter a kiss and touching her face and shes always had that since birth and I won't ever stop because it strengthen our bond. My mother has never hugged me growing up as she finds it awkward and weird. So when we meet, we just sit in awkward position across the table arms crossed and talk
Yes I relate to this soo much. Growing up my parents never hugged us, and they never showed any physical affection towards each other. Hugs from friends however, was a great substitute for the lack of physical affection from my parents.
This is a topic I often think about when feeling down. I wonder how much of my problems could have been avoided with simple friendly physical contact?
Yes baby just be physically with corona people. 🌺🌺🌺 Garveyard will give u permanent peace. 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺
My opinion: 80% I miss it every moment of my excistance. I lay in my bed most of the time for the feeling of being surrounded by warmth & 'touch' from thematrass and blankets
@@Dimitris_Balf what a brilliant idea! Never thought of that!
@@chamanlal3371 lol🤣
@@chamanlal3371 You🤣🤣🤣🤣
Growing up, I was a very huggy, touchy person. THEN when I got out into the work world, I learned that not everyone interpreted my hugs as "friendly". As a female, men thought I was coming on to them, women often thot that, too. I have dogs and hug them constantly, and they hug me back. Going without touch is sad and empty.
I'm a male and understand that touch is absolutely required by humans. Without it our existence is empty as you said. I'm married and live without touch..
True. I work in healthcare, and I have to be very careful that people misunderstand my intention. I rarely touch anyone without gloves on.
My heart goes out to kids that are so needing of this, I think so many act out because they just need to loved a hug goes a long way.
@@neuralismgamingtv4511 it just depend on what you meant by acting out!
My son’s 5th grade teacher; Bunny Dunstone, hugged every child in her class every day ❤ The students loved her, the parents loved her, but the other teachers loathed her out of jealousy.
I believe she saved some children from loneliness and isolation one hug at a time ❤
I nearly cried when people hugged each other in the documentary. we should administer gentle touch at every correctional facility and mental institute. Bring humanity back into treatment.
I agree.....however there are many who will disagree. But if they think about it, many of the incarcerated are children who lacked a lot of love & affection through healthy touch, and even guidance from their parents. Touch is healing!
Many people in correctional facility actually experience violent physical and sexual touch so touch will not help them!
@@nemrak4385 I think healthy, gentle touch may rewire their view on touch all together. It's kind of like reinstating the image of what 'touch' is supposed to be vs. what it had been for them. I think it can bring a level of healing, if they are comfortable and ready to receive it.
@@nemrak4385The only way to fix that is by positive exposure
Physical touch is how I receive love and the pandemic has seriously affected my mental health
Hope that you'll soon be in better circumstances and that the affection you need will be restored ❤
Lmao 💀💀
I am exactly the same, the pandemic really made me realise how important touch is to me. Keep smiling and be safe 💕💕💕💋💋💋🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
Without question. Touching and being touched is so powerful!
Ask Chris Rock about the power of touch👋🤣
Yes it is!
I was told that I was touched in zé head ✨🎶⏰ ) ))🙌🥳🌅🦘
@@trentcruise3084 lol! Brutal!😆🇨🇦
@@trentcruise3084 lmao
I cannot express how grateful I am for this video. I’m sharing it with everyone who doesn’t understand why I am the way I am. Sending loving hugs to everyone who sees this.
❤️
Hugs to corona people 😂😂😂😂🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺 western fool 🌺🌺
@Playlists films&series Are you OK? Your comments make absolutely no sense. I think you may have lost your way and your incomprehensible comments were meant for a different person. I hope you feel better soon. 💫
Waking up from anesthesia after jaw surgery, I was confused, swollen and in pain. Then a male nurse approached me, stroked my head and said 'Oh, du arme Maus' (German: Oh, you poor mouse). I looked at him and started weeping. I was and still am so grateful for that nurse‘s kind gesture. I felt relieved.
I had the same during an awful, traumatic procedure. While the doctor was doing the procedure the nurse stroked my hair and I too will be eternally grateful.
Whilst in a married relationship, I found my need for touch to be greater than my partners. It dawned on me that I could attend massage training and perhaps gain what was missing from giving touch. It was undoubtedly the best thing I'd found and I thereafter received much relief from both the giving and the receiving of therapeutic touching. My whole sense of confidence rose and I began to enjoy being me, perhaps for the first time in my life. For me, I had to learn how to give away something that I needed myself and it was a powerful lesson!
What a profound statement. Congratulations on making a way for yourself.
This comment is simply amazing . Gold . Beautiful and touching .
Funny enough I though of this since I red a book about the love languages. It kind of shed the light on what I am missing in relationships. My 1st love language is physical touch, then comes qulity time. Complements, gifts and service does not make me feel loved.
I would appreciate a similar documentary to be made about how abuse; especially addressing how childhood trauma and dating violence affects the touch reception in our brain. Just saying. Might help some people out there, like myself, who have had both positive and negative touch.
Good point, that would be really interesting 💕💕💕keep smiling and be safe 💕💕💕🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
Yes. I think for example I developed exzema as a child cus of lack of touch. ): I dont have exzema now anymore. Just needed some TLC
That's a brilliant idea. It would give me so much help coping with everything when i don't feel like getting out of my room.
To anyone seeking to learn more about what deprivation of touch and abuse changes things in our body visit SAM VAKNIM. He is a professor in psychologist and a clinical diagnosed Narcissist suffering from NPD. Look him up. You will find the answers in his ocean of videos. Search him here on RUclips
@@operationexecutive2229 Thank you very much for the recommendation.
I wish there's a touch for rent in my country... Like in Japan where you can hire someone that can hug you on weekends all day long... No malicious things. Just pure hug.... I wish it will be common soon like hiring a massage therapist
Physical touch has almost become underestimated these days. Worked
with kids for 15 years and saw every day the results of the lack of physical
love & affection. It is foundational to who we become as adults and
subsequently has a huge, wide ranging impact on the societies we create.
Take a look around GB in 2024!
My daughter has severe autism and she loves being touched and cuddled. It helps to also calm her when she has a meltdown.
I am in school for massage therapy, something decided to do after covid because I was so touch deprived. This doc is so validating and motivating.
My friend in Manila had cataract surgery and there was as part of the procedure, a staff person next to her holding her hand. She said it was so re-assuring and calming. She is not an anxious or nervous person; they provide this service for all. I was so impressed.
It was really nice. Thankyou for sharing this. If only any other place start doing the same thing.
I remember the time I had to do the vaccine for Covid-19 in my workplace. I'm very sensitive of blood, sharp thing whatever it is, and wound. I couldn't stop trembling and crying in the process for an hour. Walk here and there, drink and eat couldn't help. I wanted to take the vaccine so I did the early line, but I couldn't hide my physical reaction of fear.
At the end, I asked two of my friends to hold each of my hand. I was quite at ease, eventhough the fear still there, but the touch was really great help.
WOWH!!!
DW, the most educative channel ever; for the last 15 years, I don't how to express my appreciate to your professionalism. Keep teaching us DW.
Thanks a lot for watching and for your positive feedback. We appreciate you taking the time to comment and are glad you like our content!
Touch them🤣😁🥰
The more I keep watching this video; the more the desire to just have a hug increases.
Growing up in a loving family who gave us lots of love and affection, this documentary hit home! My first husband was also very affectionate. We would “spoon” to fall asleep. I always felt so close to him, unfornately death did us apart. I re-married and boy what a “Culture” difference! My husband now grew up in a tough/rough enverimoment, where dad left his mon with 4 kids under the age of 8 so my husband as a kid didn’t get the attention or affection a 6 year old needs. Now in our 50s, it causes friction in our relation because he just doesn’t know how to express Love! Affection…….. It really sucks! No holding hands, no hugs. I thought I could teach him “Love” but at age 56, he won’t change. It’s too bad because he is a Great Man who would do anything for me (Why I Married him)! I Just Wish he would understand the magic of a simple touch and affection! And he won’t watch this video either. I mentioned it to him and he rolle his eyes….
maybe doing an exercise that you do something important to him and he do something on the basis its important for you? without judgement and only for the other? ❤
You can’t fix him. Only he can do that.
I miss spooning so much 😭😭😭😭😭
So sad to hear friend. The people who need love and affection the most find it the hardest to receive. :(
would do anything for you... but not even to watch and understand this lightly-crafted video. At least why don't honor your wish?
By time he should at least be ok with simple gentle ways of affectionate expression, no too-lates as if he did irreparable damage of humanity or whatever.
My fiancé has tourettes. It's so fascinating and moving for me how his tics are gone or on bare minimum while I'm cuddling him or giving him any other kind of physical affection. It's such a difference! And we both love the tender touch so much. It gives soo much comfort and the feel of safety and stability for me as well.
That’s lovely ☺️
Touch is the energy of love that runs through our body and not only touches the body but can touch the soul with the transmission ❤️🙏
I'm in med school and recentely worked as a nurse in a psychiatric hospital. I was often faced with very anxious patients and i totally agree that laying a hand on their shoulder or holding their hand has a very beneficial effect (with consent ofc)
Touch can be truly electrifying, even the slightest tip of the finger touching yours. It's crazy when I really realise that I don't get that single touch and people just go past me everyday. So when someone accidently touches my hand, I feel as if it's something huge. It depends on the person though.
I was unable to get through the video. I strongly dislike being touched. But I was also raised in a very physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive family. It has made me seek comfort in going long stretches of not dating. I know this isn’t normal but it’s so confusing to me , foreign even when I see people comfortable with being touched. I want to be “cured” but even the thought of exposure therapy makes my anxiety go through the roof. Being touched makes my skin crawl and it is so hurtful because I want to be able to like hugging the ones I love.
Me too. I absolutely hate being touched
Greetings. I am a Reiki practitioner who works in a trauma informed way. This means I work with people where they are at without judgement. For people who cannot be touched, I work above the body starting a foot away. In essence I work with the bioenergy field. When a client is ready they are free to let me know if I can work closer to the body but still off the physical body. I have one client going on three years who is now ready for physical touch but only their feet. It is amazing progress for them! It is an honor for me to work with all my clients. If you are open to it, consider finding a Reiki practitioner who is trauma informed. It can be very healing and supportive.
I think you would benefit from a body trauma therpay approach. Exposure therpay can be too much for a lot of people.
I'm only 5 minutes in and I already have trouble watching. I've also had the same experience with my family and I hate being touched or even stand too close to other people. This video makes me so uncomfortable that suddenly touching my phone right now feels painful. Like sensory overload. And I am also afraid of therapy.
I too grew up with no physical touch and I’m totally fine with it.
What I’m not fine with, is the obligation to hug people back in situations where the opposite party grew up in a very touchy-touchy family, and most of them can sense that I’m not a hugger, yet I have to go through this forced ritual every time.
I know, from a human evolution perspective, I’m an outlier, but I find touching and being touched very uncomfortable. Maybe it has to do with how I was raised, but I associate touching as being needy, and being needy is the last thing I want to become if I could help it.
Touching is fine for me in a professional setting (handshakes), and medical setting (physical examinations, seeing the dr).
After living for 15 years in a culture where hugging was the normal greeting, I returned to the UK. I desperately miss it.
The Queen will touch you on the Shoulder with a Sword ! But, you have to kneel down ! Then You will be called a Sir ! Arise Sir George of the British Empire ! 🎩💰💰🎩
@@andrewmah5605 I think the old bird will be long gone to tapping angels on the shoulder before she gets round to me. Fortunately the British Empire only exists now in dusty history.
@ the other Andrew
Find some new friends...!
get latin friends
Yeah we do have large personal space bubbles in U.K. compared to some other spaces
A few minutes after I watched this my son hit his knee on the piano. Usually I look for blood and as long as no one is bleeding, I tell them “it’s ok, the pain will pass”. THIS time I immediately held his little knee and he goes “aaaah” and smiles. My heart totally melted. My mom wasn’t affectionate so I really struggle a bit- but This video changed sooooo much. Now I can be more intentional about how I use touch as a wife, mother, and friend. Thank you! I’ll probably watch this a few more times.
Thanks for watching and shairing your thoughts!
Man did this made me feel depressed. 😭 I grew up through severe neglect and am still alone... Man. I'm not doing ok.
I can relate a lil. I hope it gets better for you in the near future. ✊🏼
Stay stromg, it will be ok.
Send you strength, stranger. ❤
So sorry for your grief, I suffer in the same way. Mr. Rogers said to look for the helpers, there's healing somewhere for you, reach out. Good luck and don't give up.
Me too, my parents never hugged me or gave me a kiss or attention. Stay strong ❤️
I have to agree on how important it is. My mother is not a touchy feely person but still received and gave touch. Nor my Father or my brothers. However my siblings are very touchy with their significant others. As for myself I have always been the one that enjoyed cuddles. My niece demands touch on a regular basis and really was my only source of touch. Now that I moved a 1000 miles away with no family nearby I deeply miss that. I’m thankful for that time of touch because I can see how it affects those who do not receive it.
A very brilliant documentary as always.
I never thought that this docu would make me tear up. I was once dealing with horrifying anxiety attacks after college and I always locked myself up in my room. One time, they took me to the hospital, for the attack became severe -- I thought I was dying. I prayed to God to not take me yet and what He did was brought me into this weird site about the power of hug to a depressed person. It's so not me to ask for a hug so my sister then was hella surprised when I asked them to hug me one night. Like magic, it lulled down the roaring loneliness in me to a deep, calm slumber. After 3 yrs, without the help of medications, God freed me from the abyss. I'm now a hugger person. 🤗✨ Even my son, who's always sandwiched between my arms, seeks my presence more than anybody else. This is indeed true! 💕💕💕
What a sweet story! I too struggle with anxiety and I also have depression. I have learned this past year how much we long for physical touch as human beings and I have accepted it. The message of affection that a hug brings is undefeatable.
This is true and Ive noticed it especially in older ppl.. they need to feel loved, but many of their relatives dont even hug or kiss them when they visit them. In other places like in South America Ive seen ppl express their emotions like love way more than in the 🇺🇸. Maybe its a cultural thing too.
As a brazilian, i can say that yes, in fact is connected to our culture :)
That's why I hate the part of East Asian culture of which parents do not say 'I love you' to their children. They are usually don't touch their children unless to discipline them (a butt-slap, etc.).
As a central American, I concur :)
You are correct, it is a cultural thing connected to psychology. Countries can either have a collective individualist society or a communal society. Individualist societies, likes The USA, promote independence and lack of emotions, and dealing with issues on your own rather than sharing. Communal societies, such as Brazil and other southern American countries, promote community, sharing with others, and vulnerability.
As an elderly person living alone I do all my affectionate touching to my dog who really appreciates it but somehow doesn't quite compensate for a person.....
We all transfer different energies through our touch. Before we formed spoken language we still had to communicate with one another, which was done through physical touch.
We need touch to feel human, we all deserve to feel safe and warm and loved, but we also deserve to make others feel safe and warm and loved.
To me, i get the same feeling from giving as I do receiving
We’re so far removed from our real human nature… even adults need frequent touch and frequent play-just like adult animals of other species do with each other. I think it’s a big reason why humanity is so insane--on many levels-including the elitists who rule.
Whenever I’m sick 🤒 when doctor just touches my hand to check the pulse or the affected area where I feel pain, it’s the most calming thing, I feel like “now I’m safe 🥹”, it’s the hope that cures 20% of the illness
Sad to lestin 😢 hopefully good days ahead off u
This documentary touched me, very important subject
Touchy Subject ✨🎶🙌🥳☂️🦘
We see what you did there. ;) Thanks for watching!
Pun intended
This is real. I have become a professional cuddler and it makes such a huge impact on myself and my clients lives.
And Will Smith has become a professional Slapper👋
Can you share more about your experience? I've wanted to try this at times.
Professional cuddler?
@@eveswayze5007 my question too,never heard that before
It will definitely become professional in feature
My thanks to the makers of this documentary for adding English audio to the foreign language. I appreciate the accessibility as I cannot see the subtitles. I appreciate the extra work that was done to make this documentary accessible to everyone. Thanks very much.
Yes....many many thanks❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I agree. They do great work in many respects.
Same here, it’s nearly impossible to read the subtitles on RUclips when you’re blind.❤
I haven't been touched by a human in ten years, aside from a doctor or the usual greetings.
I can tell that my depression became much worse.
I'm in a nursing home and nobody touches anyone except for nursing.
I haven’t either. I really wish there were therapies for people like us. I have chronic pain and struggle with isolation. Is there anything for us?
@@erinnswan7063 Germany, where I live, is kinda backwards. The doctors do not even understand where my chronic pain comes from. All they say is "must be nerve pains." Yeah, thanks, Doc. Therefore, we have no therapies. Also, I never saw therapies for isolated people either. In Japan, you can rent people that hug and snuggle you, but that type of stuff hasn't reached my country yet.
I no longer wish to be touched ever again. It's fine, too. What does it matter? 🙂 It doesn't! Hasn't even stopped me from writing an award-winning book (which happens to be quite emotional), either. But the very last thing I want is for some jackarse to touch me, lol.
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
@@Novastar.SaberCombat You must have your reasons to think so, so I won't say anything against it. When I think: "I would like to get a hug", I don't think about some random jackarse hug. I guess I am thinking of a gesture that has to do with affection.
p.s. congrats on writing an award winning book, that's awesome! 👊
I love hugs and when people touch my shoulder 😭❤️🙏🏽✅
i have a depression and sometimes want to end my life, but your videos always make me feel that i am not crazy, overthinking or wanting something strange, you make me feel like i am not alone - thank you from Russia
Things will get better! Give yourself a chance to experience it. Wake up and watch the sunrise and go for morning walks. Look in to “Surah duha tafseer” on RUclips. Sending you love and prayers
You are not alone 💕💕💕keep smiling and be safe 💕💕💕🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
@@Ssapien 4
@Servant7 omg thank you so much 😭i have just noticed your reply
@@Ssapien omg thank you so so much i noticed notifications and reading this made my day so much better!!
As a licensed massage therapist my mantra has always been….,
NO-thing Replaces Human Touch
I have been licensed and practicing for 18 years and I find that human being that were trauma touched at an early age tend to not want to ever be touched. However if they would allow themselves the time of healing gentle touch then their little tender souls and hearts would love more touch in a healthy wholesome way. This was me and today it amazes me how only a loving God could turn my pain into something powerful to help heal humanity. Namaste 🙏
Some people don't want to be touched by strangers. It Fs with their Chi and overall energy.
I hate being touched without permission. If someone attempts it a second time after being warned, they're liable to eat a spin hook kick to the face (or hand, if they're lucky).
Permission to touch isn't granted by default, and it should be MUCH more sacred. A lot of the world Fs this up because they're extremely ignorant on energy/Chi/vibrations.
🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨
This documentary made me emotional. I didn't know one touch could mean so much. The title drove me to see this documentary and i think it was worth it. Thanks @DW for showing us that pandemic not only hit us economically it hit us emotionaly too. I haven't seen a video which has cover the topic in such depth.
Shortly after I got married I read that couples need 10 hugs a day to maintain the relationship and 11 to grow. We followed through on that. It is now 55 years later and we are still very much a couple. However, I dislike being touched by people outside my family, especially when we are in conversation. I feel I am being manipulated.
had me at "manipulated". my sister tried to smear campaign me by saying I wasn't a huggy person...I realize now, she just wanted to manipulate me some more....
Touch is unfortunately frequently used to manipulate by narcissists. Trust your instincts, don't let people touch you if it makes you uncomfortable. No still means no and your consent is still required
This documentary reminds me to hug my kids more often. Thank you.
Whenever in my life a random stranger was nice and gave me a friendly hug or gentle touch, I remember it through the decades.
After being in an abusive marriage for few years. I fall in love with my physical therapist. He had just so gentle touch, I just couldn't help. When he touched me, I felt instantly like there is positive energy, genuine kindness, I missed so long time. Love at first touch exists!
I can confirm, a good dose of cuddles is a hell of a drug, you feel like everything wrong in the world just doesn't matter, and you're happy
I've been deprived of touch for years and I'm not a very social person so it didn't end well for me I would sometimes breakdown at nights and when waking up every morning telling myself im emotionless and cant feel nothing because of it honestly its sad. Just seeing people smile and happy always made me jealous I wish id get to feel that again. But you know when this happened to me it taught me a lot of things its that life is very ruthless, death doesnt scare me anymore and that pain is a temporary feeling. I hope to get myself fixed and get to look back on this part of my life.
As a RN I could have written a paper on how effective touch is to vital signs like heart rate , respiration and blood pressure, and the pain went down sometimes away (that can be due to gate control theory of pain but could not be too). It calms people down from anxiety, pain, tension, sleeplessness and restlessness So many times I just grabbed an old persons hand and the transformation was astounding, I knew this early on in my career and have used it frequently in order to connect with my patients and help them in times when doctors don't give medication to calm or help any of those issues. It is my go to when trying to calm patients down, I do everything possible to get into their space where they feel comfortable just letting me grab their hand, I know once I got their hand 50% of what was going on will decrease. Its better than medications at times because it last longer and has a better chance of working without any side effects. It why I get a massage.
Beautiful ❤
watching this and bawling. I live far from my family- and haven't seen my significant other in person for almost 3 years.
I had to close my eyes or turn my face away during parts of this video when people were enjoying being touched. It made me so sad with longing. I've used 6 tissues already to absorb the slow tears. Interestingly enough, during the part where the man was demonstrating not being accustomed to/not wanting touch, I was riveted. I watched it twice. I knew just how he felt.
Please use a cloth as tissue papers are not environmental friendly. Trees loose their life for tissues and paper industry. I respect your emotions and loved the documentary too
I really believe that even people who are comatose can still feel touch and hear us. When my love one was not waking up in ICU, I held his hand and talked to him everyday. He woke up on the 4th day.
Being kicked, punched, slapped and beaten as a child has left me with a permanent aversion to being touched. My life has not been better for it.
I feel you 🫂
I'm giving you a virtual hug
@@Wananga39 lol. Thank-you!
all children should be loved and shown affection and support emotionally.
All of this makes sense when holding my newborn baby girl. It's amazing how soothing contact can be. Making that bond is so far the most emotional, beautiful thing I've ever felt.
Exactly. I have never understood the science behind leaving kids crying on their cribs without touching them to allow them to “self- soothe”. I will never practice such a thing in my life time should I have the privilege of having kids.
I also can’t explain my need to be holding my newborn baby all day. It was like a drug for me, I needed to feel her and to keep her very close to me. That strong feeling disappeared with time, but those first weeks I just had the Physical need to touch her all the time.
I was in a relationship for over 10 years with little physical affection.
It drove me into a state of denial that everything was fine, cognitive dissonance.
I've craved simple touches, something so simple yet so important.
I’ve been saying this for a while, and this needs to be communicated to as many people as possible. These past two years, tech has tried to tell us that the internet is all we need. The incipient, dystopian Metaverse pushes that notion even further and it is frightening. Humans NEED touch -and not only touch, but to hear the voice and smell the scent of others. It has way, way more effects than science has described so far. I always knew it; but after a lockdown where I had vast space but limited interaction, I am certain.
This documentary brought me to knees with tears. I watched this documentary several times and have never enough of it. How I wish we all can understand and appreaciate the human touch and specially the need of HUMAN TOUCH for our young generation. Its never too late and let us exchange our hugs with each other by leaving behind all odds, religiuos and tradional/cultural practices. Thank you DW for focusing on this very important feeling.
Elderly people are largely touch-deprived. If want touch I have to pay for massage and I don't have the money. Once sexuality is gone, you don't get touched by anybody. This story made me cry.
May I offer you an electronic/online hug? Big hug!
That so sad I feel sorrow about that…….❤️
@@kazpelican707 Kind of you.Thanks.
@@annchurchill2638if you live in England West Yorkshire, I can offer hugs x
Touch magical power is free.We can observe it's potentials to human and also to our favorite pets at home.Touch does a lot of things to our bodies hidden from our sight !
I wish they'd talked more about distressing touch. I think it's the reason why I have absolutely no desire for touch anymore whatsoever and I can't imagine ever enjoying it again. I feel like I'd rather get run over by a car than have someone touch me. It doesn't feel like my life is lacking for touch, and I don't miss it. I know I'm not the only one out there.
You're not the only one, you’re right. Even though I think that physical affection (or any affection really) would fix most of my problems, somehow the thought of being touched scared the shit out of me.
For me, touch has always been connected with shame. I have hyperhidrosis since my early teenage years, which means I am sweating excessively on most body parts. Some people were kind of disgusted when touching my sweaty hands, and even if they didn't show it I was paranoid if they think of me as appalling. Therefore I always prevented any kind of touch. I really wish to heal my relationship with touch but I know this will be a long journey.
Aw, I can relate to this. I have hyperhidrosis too and it makes me very self- conscious and paranoid about people being disgusted with me. But we'll get through this, you're not alone. Sending you a virtual hug. 💓💕✨
@@reeyakharwade1399 Thank you so much for your comment ♥️ Reading that others have the same struggle and that we are not alone means a lot to me. I wish you all the best! Sending a hug back! 💖
@@indigo92099 I can understand that. 🥺 Finding people who share the same struggles as us can be so comforting indeed. All the best to you too. Much love 💖💓💕
I also have hyperhidrosis and get sweaty in large part of my body even with the slightest amount of heat. I always keep distance from people during summer when someone forces I run away😂 because I've seen people grossed after touching sweaty me and I don't blame them. But I enjoy physical touch during winters🙆♀️
I transfer my love thru touch. Its so important to me, to hug people and feel love.
When I was manager of a nursing home I employed a masques to teach simple massage techniques to my carers for the old people ...they all got their hands feet and scalp massage after bathtime. I don't know how this plays out in care homes today xx
One of the finest documentary i have seen ,highly appreciate how being knowledgeable about every aspect of our feelings and emotions it's just make me feel more secure just reading it. God bless you dw documentary.
Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment.
6 years ago I came to Germany as an international student. Everyone was asking me what is the difference you see? I said - here nobody touches anyone. Till today it's true, and it's not only a problem of Germany rather the whole west. In our 3rd world countries touch is a huge part of life. We hug friends each time we see them, children cling to parents' arms... which you can't find in the 1st world.
i am a teacher who is very clingy and touching person, so i show my love to students with my own way and i feel under my thumbs how they feel relaxed, it takes their anxiety and relieves stress, helps to solve and concentrate to the questions, but there are always some exceptions and i am always trying to be cautious before checking they are touch person or not.
I knew a lot about this from older documentaries and research, though back then it was based mainly on newborns. This was a pretty good update for me, and a decent confirmation of what I have assumed. Thank you!
This seems to have cured my ocd and some other mental promblem i was going through, it has reduced my insecurity and anxiety. Thank you so much for making this video and i hope that many others who need to see it, get to learn about this too.
when i was 18 i had an eating disorder and severe depression , which lasted 2 years till i met my husband, after his touch, my eating disorder and depression disappeared.I always thought it might have somethig to do with touch.I grew up in a family where there was no touchig or hugging or affection.
Touch really has a strong mental effect. Believe me, I know. My manipulative, abusive, narcissistic and selfish father who had a fight with me once, threatened to kick me out basically throwing his own son away just because I wanted him to get rid of his hoarding which was a big problem because there's literally smelly dead rats that we couldn't find where it was(He keeps everything he buys but never uses them, his room is now the same seen inAE's Hoarders). Anyway, so what happened was that we had a long talk and what happened was that I was just forced to apologize and agree to let him keep his hoarding. Basically, as usual, he was happy when everything went his way. He then touched my hand and said he was sorry and that he loves me(of course he says that, cause after the fight, he got his way, AGAIN. And no, my father loves no one but himself, he kicked my cousin out who was living with us cause he didn't like him, he screams at my mom at grandma all the time, he once choked and pulled a knife on his brother/my uncle). When he touched my hand and said that he loved me even though it was a complete lie, that touch was the most DISGUSTING touch I ever experienced. First he abuses me and my siblings, he screams at mom, we fight, then I have to fcking APOLOGIZE and let him have his way again even if it was already damaging to everyone at home. So yeah, touch really have a significant mental effect both positive AND negative. Anyway, just a rant from a fellow commenter. Sorry for that, I needed to get this out. The title of this video just reminded me of the most Disgusting touch I ever experienced. I'm not even watching the video. Just need to get this out. For you people who have loving fathers who actually take care of his kids and wife, be grateful cause not everyone has one.
This is very sad and causes so much pain and damage. I hope that you find/have someone kind and loving to spend most of your time with x
As a long time believer in touch, and someone that loved primate studies or learning about mirror neurons, I'm grateful for DW Documentaries and this new lesson on C Tactile Afferents.
Physical gentle authentic genuine touch is essential for our physical and mental health.
Once I had to give a blod sample. I told to a medical sister that I am affraid of a needle. She just hugg my hand firmly for a while and suddenly I felt safe and quiet, not affraid anymore. Touch is magic🥰
i really believe this is the aspect that is missing from modern talk therapy, and why it is so unsuccessful for some people.
I agree. Luckily I had a tactile therapist and it helped a lot. It wouldn't be allowed now.
Человек, любящий обниматься, - хороший человек.