"The Most Crucial Step in Judging Someone is to Determine Their Character" Robert Greene
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 13 окт 2022
- "The Most Important Thing Is To Realize That Determining People's Character Is The Most Important Thing You Have To Do In Judging Them" Robert Grene on How To Determine a strong character vs weak character; How to judge people Non-verbal Communication.
“People Reveal Themselves In The Past, They Reveal Who They Are Through Their Actions, They Try And Disguise It But They Reveal It. Nobody Ever Does Anything Once. So you want to be able to look at people's patterns and look at their past and see trends and understand that if they’ve done certain things in the past they will continue to do them because we humans have compulsive behaviours’; we're compelled to repeat the same mistakes over and over and over again.”
►► Original interview
• 5 STEPS To Master The ... 5 STEPS To Master The ART OF SEDUCTION Today! | Robert Greene & Lewis Howes
• MASTER Your Dark Side ... MASTER Your Dark Side To TAKE CONTROL Of Your Life TODAY | Robert Greene
• Short Story Long #137 ... Short Story Long #137 - Robert Greene I The Laws of Human Nature
SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE INSIGHTS WORTH SHARING / @outliersinsight
╔═╦╗╔╦╗╔═╦═╦╦╦╦╗╔═╗
║╚╣║║║╚╣╚╣╔╣╔╣║╚╣═╣
╠╗║╚╝║║╠╗║╚╣║║║║║═╣
╚═╩══╩═╩═╩═╩╝╚╩═╩═╝
👇 OUTLIERS INSIGHT SHORTS 👇
/ @rareinsights6854
ROBERT GREENE
Robert is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, Mastery, The Laws of Human Nature & The Daily Laws, he turns to the most important subject of all - understanding people’s drives and motivations, even when they are unconscious of them themselves.
Copyright info:
►All materials in these videos are used for educational purposes and fall within fair use guidelines. No copyright infringement intended. If you are or represent the copyright owner of materials used in this video and have a problem with the use of said material, please send me an email at outliersinsight@gmail.com, and we can sort it out. Any infringement was not done on purpose and will be rectified to the satisfaction of all parties.
To add to Robert Greene's insight: If you want people to show you who they are, present yourself as lower status than them or just look poor.
Yes, that works almost always.
Yes.
"Judge a man not by how he treats his equals but by how he treats his inferiors.”
Brilliant!
Undercover boss
Can we please just have the conversation WITHOUT THE MUSIC
There's one thing that my mom told me that I've been sticking to since young. "Be the man who treats the janitor with the same respect as the CEO".
what if the janitor's a nob? Just because somebody has a low-paying job does not mean they're worth engaging with. That janitor may not really have anything to impart. It comes down to shared interests and communication skills.
What if the CEO is a nob?
clearly it doesn't then apply to nobs, nob.@@byanymeansnecessary398
Really bad take. Treating a person with respect has nothing to do with communication skills and shared interests. @@byanymeansnecessary398
❤❤❤
A lot of people here miss the main point, no one shows you who they really are they show what they want you to see. You have study them and understand their patterns to really get a grasp of who they are
Well sometimes what you see is what you get and sometimes people wear an elaborate mask, but i think he's saying when people display a trait with greater than usual emphasis, like hyper masculinity, they're compensating for the fact that they feel the opposite.
He's brilliant.
Watch what they do and not what they say. Gather repeated evidence. See how they cope under various sources of stress.
are you can just wait till they have gained your trust and see if there behaviour changes!
Not nobody… self-actualized people show you who they truly are. Once you know yourself, you are free to show that self openly.
People can be like human onions they have layers and it takes time to peel all of them before you can get a truly rounded idea of who somebody is on a deeper level. I loved the movie American beauty it showcases this point brilliantly.
Sometimes it's best to follow your intuitive nature. If you get a negative vibe from someone no matter how charming they are , then avoid them.
Follow up on that negative vibe just to be sure! Couple of questions could reveal it is perfectly normal. Or not. People could seem really nervous if they are in a hurry or because their dog is sick or whatever. Bad vibe is just a gut feel and often times it is wrong. We only remember it when it is right.
@@erwinlommer197 I'm in my sixties. I follow my gut feeling. I have often been correct in picking up on the negativity of others. Also as a gay man i have experienced hostility from straight people. I learnt at a young age to be very wary. I know what I'm talking about. I keep very much to myself.
@@debra1109 Thank you Debra. That's what I do now. I'm not interested in people's issues and troubles anymore.
@@debra1109 I can trust a person but i have to know them well before i do. I always go with my gut feeling, or intuition. If I don't feel comfortable then i make a quick choice not to associate with them.
@@carltwidle9046 You're dead right Carl, why bother with people that give you a bad vibe anyway, I am happy doing my own thing so it's nice to interact with people and all that but like you if I get a gut feeling, I trust it, not invested enough to give them a chance, life is too short anyway
Find you're own code of honor...and stick to it.
Carry yourself with integrity, block out negativity. Treat others like you would like to be treated.
Love yourself.
Good advice.
👌
I think understanding people and social cues is far more critical in real life. Most people hide behind their cell phones and their lap tops now, without wanting to get out and socialize anymore. There is something to learn everyday even by going out for groceries..Learning patience while waiting in line, and trying to understand the needs of others while you observe what they buy. I thank God every day I have people skills, because academically I struggled...but determination, and the willingness to learn new things has always kept me successful.
Amen. God upholds all of us. I still have to learn to talk or keep conversation with other's
Great comment- I love music too!☺️
Bless ❤
I love you! Thank you for your comment💚
Well said ! I almost lost it yesterday while waiting at the dentist b/c I had to make it back to work by a certain time. But overall it wasn’t that big a deal. Looking back
1. Adaptable
2. Can get along w others
3. Look at their patterns
1 and 2, he was great, then number 3 he lied about almost everything and become psycho
Adaptable always? Getting along with everyone? Think pls what you are saying is literally anti character in many ways
@@lakshyavarshney9942 how you misinterpret a statement right in front of you is baffling
@@michael7144 no like but still
@@lakshyavarshney9942 I understand you, but you misrepresented what's written, that's called a strawman argument
It's true that you can see a character of a person thru their actions because their deeds speak louder than words.
I would actually counter that, and say at times some people's actions are counter to their real character - many people do things for non- altruistic reasons, because they want to LOOK good/ benevolent. I have know many people who play the benevolent saintly figure, but don't care at all about others.
Good deeds don’t always mean a genuinely good person. It’s called performative empathy…they will do nice things for others, buy everything,etc. etc. but can go home and be very abusive to their partner…when no one is around. It’s how they keep a certain admirable image up for their manipulation bank…how can I be this bad person look at all these nice things I do…very tricky smiling liars.
A character of a person is shown often times in stressful, vulnerable moments.
@@loveorabove5106 100% 👍👏
I agree. Some people are pathological liars, fake actors, wannabe saints. We can see people real face behind close door and when shit is about to happen.
@@graceb3934 good observation
I can recognize an abused female child or an "on their own" child by their toughness. I recognize it because of myself. You have to become tough, pretend things don't hurt, be aggressive, be smarter, stronger, quicker than others to protect yourself.
You could look at that another way, i was abused for many years then had my daughter and she just lives life and is quite a toughy lol and thats because i taught her to be strong, independent etc NOT because she was abused. Fortunatly i broke the cycle
I can recognize a sexually abused man or a man that is a predator. I can sense when someone is ill.
Easier said than done for all of us
this, is the way. world is full of pussy already we need people who how to lead the way.@@rumbarumba1, seemns deelynn8611 is to soft in mho...crybaby's if you know what i m ean with not being offensive.
How is your relationship with men?
🤔✍️"When you Act with the integrity. You do not have to make people like you. In fact, you do not care if they like you or not. You can live and justify the decision that you have Made, and if the decision are wrong, you know you wil learn from the mistake get up and never give up to try again "
"When wealth is lost, nothing is lost, When you health is lost, something is lost. When your characteri is lost, all is lost ". -Billy Graham - 😀👍
well said
Haha! This is sooooo true.. I condemn if I care about someone.. but then I noticed that people will spread gossip about you as a result, just because you figured them out - like you care. LOL and funny thing is, they are actually doing you an unpaid service with excellent results - out of all those people, you'll know who you should keep ..
Just my 2 cents, people change and some of them deserves another chance.. Always remind yourself not to hold grudges.. the way I'm doing it is by visualising that someday I'll be having another drink with that person, when things turn out okay and we understand each other better.. Best of luck everyone! This is freakin tiring but exciting - P.S. you must learn how to read people if you are an empath..
100% true
Real sh*
B. G r a ha m was 3 3 rd m ay son….a Say ta nist!
Most of the times my gut feels about people been right. It saved my life once
in my early 20s met a man and never felt so much cold from person
he acted normally, were polite but still I sensed something bad about him
that he is not what claim to be. I left the group quickly
5 years later turns out that he was predator
dodged the bullet
Happened to me through the last 2 years, thankfully dodged the bullet when I opened clear and honest communication to discuss compatibility. She showed her true colors and confirmed the red flags. I'm truly happy to have finally seen the full truth and reality of the person.
Most people lack this word these days. Most are loyal to no one. No integrity. They can beg and plead for help and soon as they get it they turn on you. most chase money and not true passion. Most. Need quick fix rather than to go through a journey that builds character..
very articulant comment. i agree 100%
So true..
Character is what is carved DEEP inside
Look for good character that includes being:
- Flexible (bend) while being strong,
- Empathetic
Look for :
- behavioural patterns, as past actions will likely repeat
- how they treat others
- being interested in others not only themselves
- hidden vulnerability via hyper opposite behaviour
Chinese literature says there are three types of good friends.
1. high morality
2. Kindness, forgiving
3. Knowledgeable.
I usually remember them as Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws 😂
@@cdorothy444 Which one is your favorite?
@@thomasandersen9310 I like Gryffindors :P
There was an extremely sensitive, intelligent, popular co-worker people easily confided in. At first. In time, sadly, he showed his true self. Backstabbing the female boss, calling her a "b" once. Called people "fat" if he was angry at them. Bragged about hacking into people's emails out of revenge if they crossed him. Totally the opposite of how he appeared at first. Awful.
Sounds like a narcissist
@@marietgagliardi Yes, truly was. A stalker as well.
Can someone please give this man some water.
Frigging stroke affected his voice :/
When Robert Greene said " non verbal cue's" that really resonated with me. Character never lies. It shows you all you need to see, we all have good and bad aspects..
Welcome,when someone shows that they are bad.Take them like that,no body pretends to be bad.
"Pay attention to what people do, not what people say" - Someone smarterer than me, probably
@@fatimaiyeabdullahi1346 of course they do! Its a defence mechanism as much as anything. People with lots of trauma unresolved put on a tough exterior (even pretending to be bad) to keep people at a distance. Things run on a spectrum, they are not black & white.
@@kristianjensen5877 I love this comment! I love it when people give others credit for being smart. This is the seed of wisdom!
I cant stand people that mock other people or don't show respect.
The more you can accept that people will do that and not be immediately reactive, the more power you have in choosing a response, if you choose to grant them the energy of a response at all.
SAY THAT!
Amen ❤
@@wearewon how
Yet you have don't both those things many times because you are human.
Don't be pretend to be so righteous....nobody with half a brain buys it
The more I try to discover people on a deeper level, I find them even more uninteresting. I almost never meet anyone who's worth a second of my time. I finally found peace when I retired and didn't need to interact with people much.
The way you see the world and other people is a reflection of yourself. It's not them
It's you.
Learn to love and accept yourself and you will manifest into being interested in others.
Not everyone but some. Everyone has likable qualities. Try to see what you like instead of being quick to find what you don't like.
About 10 yrs ago, I had several character references on paper. I brought them to job interviews and nobody ever wanted to read them. Now, some ask you for 3 names and numbers for references, yet they never call . This practice has resulted in me having to work with toxic screwed up people. Nobody cares anymore about character.
Judge people from their actions rather than their words. Unfortunately, it takes time to find out who they really are and usually it's after a few painful experiences/encounters.
Unfortunately yes. But I have come to realize recently that our gut already tells us all we need to know, really. We just stick around for confirmation of what we already intuitively know.
Yeh our gut is know as the second brain, the brain sends messeges to the gut when something doesn't feel right not in all cases but most 😊
I don't judge people by their actions. We often do things that we regret and wish we hadn't done.
Mesmerizing analysis
Actions speak louder than words. Anybody can say anything no matter how false it is. Actions are absolute
The whole if someone does something you don't like they've probably done it before and will do it again is a painful truth of life.
Yes I have been so driven to achieve my work output
I didn't gossip and talk about other people
I became the target of disapproval when I kept my energy on doing my job.
That is probably just jealousy from others trying to tear you down. People don’t like to see others achieve what they would like to achieve, but believe that they can’t, so don’t try, too lazy etc
@@MrPistolpete1234 I knew I couldn't fit in the Gang.
I didn't try
I hoped they would respect my work ethic
Hoped and knew the clock was ticking
They were going to rip me to scraps
I lost they won
@@kimsherlock8969 so sorry to hear. Did you quit your job?
@@totochanel2251 No they won
I held on to the last
I lost.
I learned that no work is worth
One's mental health.
I should have left but had pressure to pay bills.
@@kimsherlock8969 happened to me too,,,
I realized it has took me 2 years to get to know a person. People say they are _which_ they want to be - yet who they _are_ differs, some times vastly. After 2 years you've seen their consistent behavior.
Time i need is also two years, i undesrtood that when i was a teenager and ten years later i still stand by it:i need two years
Oh yeah my own brother of decades, whom I made lunch and dinner for, sold me out.
Sometimes it takes years for someone to show their character.
Spot on
We are not here to get along with everyone. If you feel or determine this person is in questionable ways, please be careful and keep your distance until you deem fit to be otherwise. Not everybody needs to be your big-hugging best buddy friend. You can play it safe. Not everyone is a cute little kitten. There are predators out there with the sole purpose of hurting you who want to take from you after your money, possessions, or life.
Absolutely. Thank you. I'm amazed that any grown up adult actually espouses these things he's lecturing about. To be completely honest most people are dishonest and completely suck.
You cannot be more right here! Lol I’m just realizing my parents pushed this notion of striving to be nice and get along with everyone. But everyone isn’t a good person and some will look to weaponize your open friendliness. I’ve been consciously UNlearning my parents well intentioned messaging. It’s been a load off and helps me set better boundaries.
@seensay2132 I like what you said. I'm the kind of person who tries to find common ground with people and just generally get along with everyone. How do you set boundaries?
@@byanymeansnecessary398 decide what your values are and first be mindful of those (family, associates, peers, neighbors, colleagues, coworkers) who DON’T share your values - in action (some will claim to, in words only). Next, learn to trust your first instinct about people and motives. Your gut will tell you 100% of the time when a person or circumstance doesn’t feel right. Third, be on guard for people with ulterior motives or hidden agendas. I’ve had people who picked up on my genuine nature, good vibes and it’s almost as if scheming, manipulative, deceitful and yes, narcissistic people can smell me coming and immediately craft an angle of how friendship/association with me can best serve them: Big favors, inappropriate asks, the mark in their web of lies to manipulate others. It took me a while into adulthood to recognize patterns in people and circumstances. When I did the work to reflect and get to the root of why I kept attracting people like this, I came to Two hard conclusions: being friendly and coming off cordial is a form of people pleasing IF**** you don’t consistently stand your ground with people (saying A bold NO and often). And two, that it was my parents who instilled the concept of seeing “the good” in people as a virtue for being cooperative. Problem is things like trust & respect should be actively earned and the only way to achieve that is being assertive to set boundaries. Not passive putting help and the wants/needs of others before your own.
You’re misunderstanding it think more critically the guys not stupid he knows you’re not supposed to get along with everyone but internalizing that way of life and looking at everyone in the negative way you do will in turn make you a more negative person. You can let go of your judgements of people but still realize people can be evil
Don’t stress out to control yourself or others in managing these characters. Live your life, be present 100% and you will exactly know who to go with.❤
Facts!
Smartest thing I have heard. Be present. Stop focusing on others . Focus purely on being better than you were yesterday. All people have issues so be determined and fix yourself
How to have empathy for one who is attacking you from every angle? When they try to attack you, remind yourself that it's just a form of expression, a pattern of behaviour for them to conceal how hurt they are and how much need for support they need. Their ego is too big and their pride is too high, they can't just become humble, so they choose to attack instead. But now you know. . 🤗
Ha! No shit, defensiveness tends to come from some emotional trauma or wound. I recognize in myself, and frankly I've got to let it go. Everything you fear makes the world that much smaller.
@@billyin4c514 Yes, that's right, being defensive or aggressive doesn't serve us well either. I think the best approach is to be assertive. It takes practice, but it gets you where you want in life 😉
@laviniaasofiei9054 Thank you for this wonderful perspective, it seems to make alot of sense.
My rule with abusers is if family love from afar with extreme boundaries. If not family no contact.
@All about Narcissism Maybe it's both, my guess is that their desires and sense of power are a distorted coping mechanism to feel powerful from having felt powerless and hurt in the past. I am in no way excusing it but I think those things are connected.
Mind and body don't forget how you make people feel 💯 in your presence. They'll never forget that. Treat people well, regardless of their status, and you will never have to worry about people.
If people gossip it's generally because they don't feel good about their lives. Maybe it's because they have an issue that they don't want to address, or don't know what to do about it.
Utterly brilliant analysis by Robert; I hit 60 a while ago and I can vouch he has hit so many true valid insights into human behaviour. Difficult to stay away from toxic individuals on occasions, if they re their in your workplace or perhaps in your family , I have accepted some family members have issues and refuse to have it imparted onto my life.
It gets trickier, because "trouble" isn't necessarily "toxic." The sweetest person you ever met could have no spine when you really them to be a stand-up guy, for instance. The person we care about who keeps repeating patterns can drain us. We feel their pain and put up them (eventually becoming a pain in the butt with those late night tearful phone calls again), and yet, nothing changes. These 2 examples are about perfectly "good people" - nice people who otherwise wouldn't seem to be trouble...but they are. Being aware of who is trouble before they become your problem means using discernment based on a few key traits...or even just one...that can undermine you in the worst ways possible, right when you need/count on them the most.
Couldn't agree more. Been saying this for a long time. Character is everything.
Humans are indeed "Blessings in disguise".Takes time to get to that core.
This is very much about going with your gut feelings about someone. Making reading people into a logical process (reading body language, behavioral cues etc) is an inefficient process in my opinion.
This is why I've always said and believed that "first impressions" are worthless, because people will never wish for you to see their TRUE selves when you first meet them. You only learn who the real them is after knowing them for a long time. This all has to do with the Shadow Self in Jungian psychology. Most people haven't learned how to deal with their shadows properly.
I've listened to people who say the only way you can know the true nature of people is by living with them.
First impressions never betrayed what eventually transpired of a person, long after my interaction with them overwrote that original impression
God bless this man. I've learned so much over the years from his brilliance.
you are sheep - he is your shepherd - that is why jews call you goyim
He helps me so much...
This makes alot of sense. What I wasn't expecting, is that I think I tend to do what you describe. I try to project the image of a successful, confident person, etc, but I have a number of internal doubts.
What sort of doubts do you have?
@@byanymeansnecessary398 can u help people overcome doubts
"Life's a blend of things unknown, Our actions shaped by what we've grown."
Strong character don't backstab and become innocent in front
Loved that part about why you should understand what makes you mad
My spirituality has always been focused on not judging people. "Hate the sin not the sinner" as they say. The concept of judging someone as strong versus weak takes away focus from solving the world's problems, which requires something crucial that all people can have: utility.
“I tell myself all the time: I’m gonna keep this book short, I’m not gonna ruin my health” idk why but I died at that
This is very illuminating, and it is very helpful. It's real life confirmation about the fake fascade some people use to cover up their malicious intent and actions. Thank you for this video.
One of the most deceptive is the person who feels "stubborn" is a good quality. They wear it like a badge of character, when in fact, it means they have closed their minds and are actually weak-willed, disguising it as strength of character by being stubborn. It gets tricky but these folks can be sussed-out when you know what to look for! (hence, my Dumbass book) 😉😉
@@RattledAwakeBooks what is your book
@@Samanthax1221 hilarious podcast + book "How to Deal with a Dumbass" - see channel banner for links
Be Careful of love bombing and people pleasers
Yes, in my exeperience, I have to Always BEWARE the soft spoken ones. Behind those extreme soft spoken exteriors lie some of the most insidious, nastiest agendas you could ever meet. I prefer the overtly aggressive over the shady soft spoken any day.
Yes, give me a 'rough diamond' any day.
Yep
Exactly. Silent, soft spoken types are 🚩 There might be a few of genuine nature. But most I believe are simply hiding a side of themselves they don’t want others to know
You are putting out some VERY worthwhile content. Thank you!
In the age of Generation Selfie, we tend to overlook one of the principal measures of character. It is whether or not you do the right thing, meaning that if the roles were reversed, would you want that other person to do to you what you want to do to them? Sometimes doing the right thing will cost you more than you want to pay. That’s when your character gets tested.
Do the right thing anyway
I always think of others first, then myself.. is this codependency or people pleasing or just being my kind self?
I pray for the world everyday & want the best for my neighbors (those around us) AS Well as Myself 😄🤗
I pray for Ukraine & Russia to stop the Genocide & destruction & (world leaders) to have compassionate hearts & change their ways.. REPENTANCE
My grandmother prayed for world peace everyday and I encourage everyone to do the same. Be considerate of those around us and be helpful and kind.
Btw..
My belief is,
( JESUS IS THE WAY THE TRUTH & OUR SALVATION, whosoever may believe in him& his resurrection, will have Everlasting life in Spirit in Heaven . )
( I MUST declare this, as my testimony)
Best Regards,
3D
The money usually follows doing the right thing, in my experience. Do the right thing; the money will follow.
@@12dd4ds9 Not always; most billionaires aside from say, Warren Buffet or Mike Illitch, have some sociopathic tendencies. "Do good and you'll do well" is a good rule to live by but it is riddled with exceptions
@@user-vl2zh6bj6x Labels don’t tell me diddly squat about someone’s character
And remember some people will, some people won’t.
I've seen many people, especially women find it difficult to understand or correctly judge a person quickly. It's quite easy actually. The key to understanding someone is the simple step of putting yourself in their shoes and then just ask yourself, WHY that person said or did such a thing, what was the motive?
Once you visualize that, you will know that person well. Don't go on what they said or did, otherwise you will always fall for people with charming personalities and great communication skills through which they can deceive anyone easily. Go for the underlying reason that is going on in their minds due to which they did or said something. And underlying reason will be easier to understand when🎉 you put yourself at their place.
i dont understand
That doesn’t make any sense. Women misjudge people precisely because they put themselves in other people’s shoes and try to find out why someone did what they did. In actual reality you can’t actually understand why someone did what they did because people are very different. People can have various underlying motives for doing the things they do so its a futile effort, more importantly a lot of people dont think before they act or in case of narcissism they don’t even themselves know why they are doing certain things, so robert is right in the way, rather than trying to understand why someone is doing something, try to figure out their pattern of behaviour that reveals who they are. Most importantly when you put yourself in someone’s shoes you cant get an accurate image of why someone did what they did because it will be based off of your own projection and not reality. If someone is good they think the world is good, similarly if someone is bad they believe that everyone is bad. We see people through our own lenses which is the primary reason we misjudge people in the first place.
Robert Greene has given us the framework for many things that we already instinctively knew very well. Brilliant....
He speaks like a calm supportive dad
Profound. Fascinating little details in understanding others as well as myself - Thank you for sharing your experience, insights, and wisdom Robert💥💥💥 cheers 🙌🙌
Really needed to hear this. I'm always scared of discomfort and stepping out of my comfort zone. You just earned a new subscriber. Keep it ul
I have been trying to articulate to people why i have such great relationships with people. This petty much summed it up. I use humor to figure out who people are.
how does humor relate to this?
@@danielhalper8389 humor helps me understand people's insecurities and mental flexibility. I can tell how uptight some one is
Robert's researching pattern is pretty useful, his books are filled with historical examples. That is beautiful. His books are never boring
I appreciate these interview videos, was convinced that the 48 laws of power were inherently "not good" but watching these has made me realize... there is always personal work to do. And I can't blame a book for choices that I make. Especially if, when a certain comfort level is reached, I just decide it's OK to stop reading entirely
These books also help you see other people who use power ect and then avoid them and their traps.
Does one ever get to that point? I might relax from reading about certain issues (like power), maybe take a break from reading completely, but not for long. Something comes up and I'm reading about something else (like homelessness) and off I go again. (Habitat for Humanity anyone?) (lol)
You'll always be a dummy Sam. If you reach a comfort level, you're not really living.
Pure love for you and your insight … helped me to move past a toxic relationship
I would say that the most important is to differenciate what is character and what is personality. Personality are things like being an extrovert or introvert, optimist or pessimist, being criative or analitical and so on. This should not pose any problem as they are possible to accept, people are born with them (it's the person they are) and don't damage other people around. It's the mental equivalent of being physically ugly/pretty or short/tall. One can have their preferences but, if one can be honest, it shouldn't bother you. Character is about values, morals and ethics and therefore, completely dependent on a person's will (carved as in made by the environment and life experiences since childhood). The "good" people are the ones that stick to good values, morals and ethics regardless of everything that happens to them (strong character) and those are the ones that one wants around. Being inquisitive and curious is personality but being dishonest and a liar is character.
I’ve scrolled through a good chunk of comments, but I gotta say I like yours the best! Really insightful and clear, especially when applied to my own personal experiences with certain people and understanding myself a little better. What I like most about it is your breakdown of personality vs character and the many examples you used that I was able to interpret with much clarity and self curiosity.
It seems that I am not just facing a personality clash (as previously thought) with certain people, but rather a deeper clash of opposing characters due to differing personal values/morals/ethics systems that are both subjective and distinct to each of us.
Character I find is mostly fixed (unless you’re persistent with the tediousness of self alteration) but I’ve come to now realise most people simply aren’t motivated enough to do the work that is challenging & reassessing your own internal belief systems/frame of thinking, unless it’s seriously negatively affecting themselves in some way. They are not aware of an issue or even incentivised to act on amendments for the sake of others. It is far easier to accept your own subjective facts at face value, that you are inherently “right” and someone else is “wrong” or “bad” than to engage in the critical self reflection or introspection needed to cultivate necessary change for the better, not only yourself internally but in affect those around you who would benefit collectively from a genuine application of effort. A fragile or inflated ego is definitely to blame for some resistance to delve into yourself and ask/answer the tough questions, so wilful ignorance or delusion seems much more appealing to the eye than confronting your insecurities, inaccuracies or shortcomings.
Self integrity, radical acceptance, empathy, willingness to learn, genuine authenticity & honesty are some of the things that have kept me persevering through darkness without light. It’s really comforting to know that I am strong of character by definition, I will be using careful discernment when presented with generally bad, self serving and exploitative characters in future. I’ve paid the price for the awareness I have and am building but I am grateful for every experience good or bad, taking it in as an opportunity to learn and grow
What I understood is to approach people with open mind. Keep aside pre-assumptions and try to to understand them and be stop being selfish.
This how I talk in my head as well
yeah this is what works for me. We all have judgements we make on sight, we often HEAR things second hand before meeting the person first hand. It's important not to let others judgements affect yours, because we all have different values and priorities. The reason you dislike something may be valid for you, but not for me.
@@michaelhowington4205 I trust no one and I don't know why and It has helped me a lot. for me Not trusting is same as not accepting anything received until analysed from every angle possible.
@@michaelhowington4205 no one said trust. Be open minded and then judge for yourself whether the person is worthy of your trust
Yes but still we can't be open about everything
huh that last point struck a chord with me. i project out an even temperedness and i have experienced so much emotional turmoil
Strong character comes from self knowledge. So i disagree with him that one should be looking outward instead of inward. All answers are to be found within oneself.
Yes just like carl gustave jung said knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people
Completely agree on the non-verbal stuff.. The more you are clued into this, it the more it appears that people are virtually screaming about themselves, even when they are unaware of it.
I learned this in a social psychology course, and it took my awareness to another level in my relationships.
3:56
"You are the result of what YOU have thought"
-S. Gautama
I'm already knowing all this! Had to literally elevate my senses to survive!
So value the insight given here. Gratitude.
Great vid. U caught some very insightful points from this clever fella
this interview is looool choose the good person and do not choose the bad one thank you
Facts spoken 24/7 when Robert Greene speaks on these kinds of subjects 🔥
Robert you're a genius, thank you so much for sharing all this knowledge with us, you are great !
This concealing of the inner self applies directly to politicians.
And business leaders!
*Your videos give people priceless lessons. Thank you for sharing! Keep up the great work! Hope to see more from you! 💪*
Really comforting to listen to.
You might understand people, but if they don't understand you and don't want to, there is no possible genuine interaction.
When I see someone engage in some form of antisocial behavior that I wouldn't engage in even once, I know I'm dealing with a toxic person I should stay away from.
School Prefect you are! Jobsworth. Nobody's perfect. That's the problem with society, so quick to cancel and point fingers. BLIND GUIDES! We are so undeserving of what Jesus did for us on that cross. But he did it and he paid the ultimate price to save us. Stop pointing fingers and look inside yourself and see what you can do to guide them to the truth that IS Jesus Christ.
Amen
Thank you… very insightful ❤
Thank you Sir I feel very understood by your summation of this topic n it resonates with me deeply.. God Bless You +🕊
This was surprisingly good.
Love this man, so insightful and real.
“ Building a Mystery “ lots of love 🇨🇦
Loved Robert's message as always, but want 2 elaborate.. people do hide their true essence, but rarely conscientiously, most aren't aware of this process.. thus their intentions aren't malicious.. as well as some of us lack the faculties to read people.. some lack compassion.. u can't teach a narcissist compassion for example..
I will disagree a bit. I consciously hide my vulnerable side and it's not because I'm trying to manipulate anyone it's only because it's never served me well. When I've shown people my vulnerable side people seem to take that for granted and don't appreciate that I've shown them or given them the opportunity to see the real me. That was when I had strong problems with boundaries. I'm very selective now and I only show that side every now and and then to people who I feel I can trust. Most people THINK they really want to know someone, but that's not true. They only want to see from you what they prefer they'd like someone to be.
@@leemythic4400 thnx 4 Ur incredible insight! It helped me recalibrate my understanding. Very reasonable and logical position. I love being able 2 participate in a dialogue and elevate above my own ignorance.
@@nesrasiti thank you for understanding and I also appreciate your point of view. I understand it's true that some people operate from a subconscious level. I just think it's possible some people don't and thats what I think people sometimes misunderstand. I think 🤔
@@leemythic4400 some people do "unconsciously" hide their vulnerable side too. I am not saying that what you are saying is untrue, but I personally am incapable of being properly vulnerable with someone unless I am at the end of my rope, and it is frustrating that this unconscious block exists. It has negatively impacted my relationships with people to a significant degree, and I think is at the root cause of both of my significant relationships failing. I am trying to figure myself out and conquer these tendencies, but it is difficult.
Thank u for this Robert
“People are weird” absolutely right 😅
Yes Sir people skills are how we communicate and how we see things through their actions and how their actions are visible to the eye 👁️ 💃
It’s so amazing I came across this video I have learned so much and on the other hand how cruel people with power and with little knowledge on how to work with people they put a wall of defence to show they are knowledgeable but they are not and when they see weakness they abuse and use
Good points, I got to know a little more about myself & others. It's like playing a good chess game you get to know your opponent's moves & yours as well.
Really liked this - subscribed now so hope you’ve got some more of the good stuff
Very insightful I have to think about this...
To know someone's real character give him/her power and you see the real character.
Excellent...Truth Spoken...
I live by this quote, " Treat everyone like a great person not because of who they are but because YOU are a great person." 😇
When I first saw the interviewer, I thought what a stupid way to interview someone, I locked at him like the first seat student who always makes the lessons longer than it should, but after watching him interview multiple people, I reach a conclusion that his way is a genius, because must of the people he interviewed, they give that extra effort which really makes his interviews more richer, bravo brother, thank you in behalf of humanity ❤
Love this video
Greene, people are so competitive, that are against in the initiation procedure. Being writer and literally being a writer is something probably should aspire too.
The Content is AMAZING. NEW SUBSCRIBER 🎉
Thank you 😊❤🎉
Maybe, but then it leaves out (and leaves you vulnerable) to pathology. Sometimes the situation is actually negative and people need to process it. It isn’t enough to ‘have a positive outlook’ - there has to be a purpose. For example, an insecure boss or supervisor isn’t as big a problem when you’re focused on the customers. There are ways to bypass the noise without having to throw in the towel.
Only those of great character are remembered
I don’t believe people cannot change! Hard, not completely but possible!
Absolutely.
The best way to judge someone is by sensing how much they think they are special and how much they think they know truth more than you. There are only 3 kinds of people in the world, those who think they are the only ones who know reality and truth, those who worship the one's who think they are the only one's who know truth and those who think truth happens to everyone and everyone has their own access to truth, one cannot teach truth to another.
I can see the social cues. But the problem is we tend to go back to what we are doing, thinking we just need to do what we are doing but harder or more, in order to get a different result. Knowing is 1 thing, changing is another. I'm trying to fix this problem of mine, I hope I can get some advice from people who have gone through this.
There is an old saying, when someone tells you who they are believe them 🤔
-Maya Angelou