I Also need to find balance in friendships as most of the Times I trust too much, give too much and then hurt when not reciprocated. I found many ' friendships' are interest- based. It saddens me.
I needed this right now. I’m going through this exact problem. As I get healthier in therapy, I’m realizing that certain people don’t need to be in my life anymore. I’ve been feeling a lot of guilt about that, but it’s so important to take care of your own mental health. There were so many words of wisdom in this video. Thank you.
‘Wait, do you really mean matronly, like, the ‘M’ word?’ Yes, that is harsh, coming from a fellow lengthy hair gal😍! We know who’s who, really, fairly easily when the time comes for us that we come into our own, no matter what age that may be when we bloom. It was you who said ‘clean compliment,’ in a superb video of yours that I watched last week; hearing that, bells were ringing! And Terri, the ‘VIP Section’ is brilliant! Love your perspectives, Terri, thank you so much, every word resonates, and downloading the guide now🙏
Definitely had a friendship like this that ended 4 years ago. It was during a difficult time in my life (cancer) when I needed people to lean on. I was always the go-to person, the fixer, the one being dumped on (yup, co-dependence), so it was a total role reversal when I was sick. When I confronted her about issues within the friendship that were exacerbating the situation, she bailed on me in a very hurtful way. It saddened me to know that in the end I couldn't be open and honest with her, so I guess it was for the best that the friendship ended even though I still feel sad about it sometimes. I've learned that if I can't be open, honest, and fully authentic with a friend, then that person is not the right friend for me. At the time, on top of the cancer, it definitely felt way worse than a romantic breakup. As painful as it was, I learned a valuable lesson. Great video, Terri. Thank you.
This is an incredibly helpful video. I realized some major breakthroughs in my relationships with my gal pals. I am mindblown by how I’ve also been in a triangle, playing out conflicting loyalty!
This was right on time in my life Terri, so glad I found you. When you are ready to learn, the teacher appears. Thank you for adding so much value to my life.
Thank you for the video. I have been struggling to accept a loss of a long term friendship, a disappointment as big as my relationship with my mother. Realising someone you care for doesn't care is painful but I have awareness now and I feel stronger
I recently started seeing worrisome behaviors from a girlfriend. (She is 10 years older than me and her estranged elderly husband recently passed.) In December, I did a photo collage Holiday card of fun activities from the previous year, and she imediately sent me a text after opening the card asking if another female friend pictured in the card was either my ex-husband in drag, or if I had entered into a gay marriage. Huh? She has always made it very clear that she has a lot of friends from all the various areas of her life, so it is very odd that she acts jealous of my other friends. Her bizzare sarcasim was completely out of the blue really took me off guard.
Hi Terri, I walked away from a friendship just like that too. I felt guilty of doing that at first but peaceful at the same time. It felt like a heavy weight on my shoulder and heart was been lifted, and the mixed emotions of grief, peace and calmness afterwards.
That is such a relatable feeling ❤️ It's never easy to set these types of boundaries with friends. Proud of you for doing so! Thank you for being here 💕
This is so spot on! I can completely relate to everything you just said in this episode. I've had so many 'friends' who love to be around so that they can really just emotionally dump on me. It is so incredibly draining. But, this video, your book, and my own work, has helped me to learn to not be available that much and to start creating more boundaries. I definitely have work to do, but I'm so grateful for your work! This is such an IMPORTANT topic. Thank you for ALL that you are doing!!! 💞🙏
Thank you Terri, your work is so valuable and relevant. I appreciate your continued delving into these topics of boundaries and relationships, sharing your wisdom with all of us. Thank you for your dedication and generosity.
Oh, great topic - dumping problems. Would love a whole video about this - please! How long is it normal/healthy for a person to talk about oneself in a good healthy relationship? 5-20 minutes? Back and forth or all at once? Ive noticed in some womens groups that no one expresses empathy (no questions, no sounds, no nods, nothing) and each person just takes turns in talking about themselves - seems weird to me. Otherwise - in general - Its like I am a magnet for people who, need to talk for hours about their problems and themselves and when it comes to my life, I may say 2-3 sentences and the other person shifts back to themselves or just changes the subject; some just immediately tell me what to do (eg. stop seeing your mom). My family of origin was a chaotic place (at least from the point when mom developed schizofrenia), so I have empathy and tolerance for people in crises, but the problem is they end up being in permanent crises, one after another. Outside of these relationships it seems like many people are either quite passive (never call, dont invite) or narcissistic.
I'm that friend. Or was. I don't have friends anymore; I'd like to learn to be a better friend but I've struggled to find resources, modelling and healthy role models for it.
Most times people are not out growing each other. There is resentment that is growing. You was hurt and never expressed to the person what negative impact it had. But you expected them to know you were hurt. Uncommunicated expectactions lead to resentment. If you have boundaries, set it. Sometimes when you don't express to the person what hurt you, they can not correct the behavior. If you friend is doing something wrong to you, it is only fair that you allow the other person make it right. If you automatically cut the person out without informing them, what does that say about you?
Yes, I had a close friend relationship with a couple. The friendship evolved. They think that they get to give me advice how to live my life. As a rabbit out of a hat some advice is given to me that sounds bad. When I am there if the husband dares to sit down his wife will give him 10 chores to do. Even if he negotiates well he gets to do 5. No sitting down for him. I just can't stand the sight of it anymore.
Yes women can become clingy. This lady was 2 decades my senior and stayed with her husband inspite of him cheating on her. She missed intimacy and was behaving like I was her husband.
Terri - what you said to that soon to be ex-friend on the phone.... is that kind? How to define the word "kind", when setting firm limits and boundries?
“Why do I have anyone in my life that behaves that way?” - this resonates with me.
I feel like you’re my cool aunt that I get life advice from. I’ve gotten so much out of your RUclips channel and podcast. Thank you for all you do. 💕
I Also need to find balance in friendships as most of the Times I trust too much, give too much and then hurt when not reciprocated. I found many ' friendships' are interest- based. It saddens me.
I needed this right now. I’m going through this exact problem. As I get healthier in therapy, I’m realizing that certain people don’t need to be in my life anymore. I’ve been feeling a lot of guilt about that, but it’s so important to take care of your own mental health. There were so many words of wisdom in this video. Thank you.
‘Wait, do you really mean matronly, like, the ‘M’ word?’ Yes, that is harsh, coming from a fellow lengthy hair gal😍! We know who’s who, really, fairly easily when the time comes for us that we come into our own, no matter what age that may be when we bloom.
It was you who said ‘clean compliment,’ in a superb video of yours that I watched last week; hearing that, bells were ringing! And Terri, the ‘VIP Section’ is brilliant!
Love your perspectives, Terri, thank you so much, every word resonates, and downloading the guide now🙏
So glad my content is resonating with you ❤️ Thank you for being here!
I needed this message today, thank you so much. I could listen to you all day, you have such a lovely way.❤
Great video idea very helpful
Definitely had a friendship like this that ended 4 years ago. It was during a difficult time in my life (cancer) when I needed people to lean on. I was always the go-to person, the fixer, the one being dumped on (yup, co-dependence), so it was a total role reversal when I was sick. When I confronted her about issues within the friendship that were exacerbating the situation, she bailed on me in a very hurtful way. It saddened me to know that in the end I couldn't be open and honest with her, so I guess it was for the best that the friendship ended even though I still feel sad about it sometimes. I've learned that if I can't be open, honest, and fully authentic with a friend, then that person is not the right friend for me. At the time, on top of the cancer, it definitely felt way worse than a romantic breakup. As painful as it was, I learned a valuable lesson. Great video, Terri. Thank you.
This is an incredibly helpful video. I realized some major breakthroughs in my relationships with my gal pals. I am mindblown by how I’ve also been in a triangle, playing out conflicting loyalty!
I'm so glad to hear it gave you some breakthroughs! ❤️
This was right on time in my life Terri, so glad I found you. When you are ready to learn, the teacher appears. Thank you for adding so much value to my life.
Thank you for the video. I have been struggling to accept a loss of a long term friendship, a disappointment as big as my relationship with my mother. Realising someone you care for doesn't care is painful but I have awareness now and I feel stronger
I recently started seeing worrisome behaviors from a girlfriend. (She is 10 years older than me and her estranged elderly husband recently passed.) In December, I did a photo collage Holiday card of fun activities from the previous year, and she imediately sent me a text after opening the card asking if another female friend pictured in the card was either my ex-husband in drag, or if I had entered into a gay marriage. Huh? She has always made it very clear that she has a lot of friends from all the various areas of her life, so it is very odd that she acts jealous of my other friends. Her bizzare sarcasim was completely out of the blue really took me off guard.
Hi Terri, I walked away from a friendship just like that too. I felt guilty of doing that at first but peaceful at the same time. It felt like a heavy weight on my shoulder and heart was been lifted, and the mixed emotions of grief, peace and calmness afterwards.
That is such a relatable feeling ❤️ It's never easy to set these types of boundaries with friends. Proud of you for doing so! Thank you for being here 💕
This is so spot on! I can completely relate to everything you just said in this episode. I've had so many 'friends' who love to be around so that they can really just emotionally dump on me. It is so incredibly draining. But, this video, your book, and my own work, has helped me to learn to not be available that much and to start creating more boundaries. I definitely have work to do, but I'm so grateful for your work! This is such an IMPORTANT topic. Thank you for ALL that you are doing!!! 💞🙏
Thank you Terri, your work is so valuable and relevant. I appreciate your continued delving into these topics of boundaries and relationships, sharing your wisdom with all of us. Thank you for your dedication and generosity.
Thank you for bringing this up 💜💜
Yes I'm going through this right know with one my friend stressful
I am witnessing you with compassion, Jamie ❤️
Oh, great topic - dumping problems. Would love a whole video about this - please! How long is it normal/healthy for a person to talk about oneself in a good healthy relationship? 5-20 minutes? Back and forth or all at once? Ive noticed in some womens groups that no one expresses empathy (no questions, no sounds, no nods, nothing) and each person just takes turns in talking about themselves - seems weird to me. Otherwise - in general - Its like I am a magnet for people who, need to talk for hours about their problems and themselves and when it comes to my life, I may say 2-3 sentences and the other person shifts back to themselves or just changes the subject; some just immediately tell me what to do (eg. stop seeing your mom). My family of origin was a chaotic place (at least from the point when mom developed schizofrenia), so I have empathy and tolerance for people in crises, but the problem is they end up being in permanent crises, one after another. Outside of these relationships it seems like many people are either quite passive (never call, dont invite) or narcissistic.
Hi Terri! Great topic and food for tought. Thanks for the love you put in your work. Best wishes!
I'm that friend. Or was. I don't have friends anymore; I'd like to learn to be a better friend but I've struggled to find resources, modelling and healthy role models for it.
PS I can't download the assessment; it says the Page Isn't Ready
Most times people are not out growing each other. There is resentment that is growing. You was hurt and never expressed to the person what negative impact it had. But you expected them to know you were hurt. Uncommunicated expectactions lead to resentment.
If you have boundaries, set it. Sometimes when you don't express to the person what hurt you, they can not correct the behavior. If you friend is doing something wrong to you, it is only fair that you allow the other person make it right. If you automatically cut the person out without informing them, what does that say about you?
Yes, I had a close friend relationship with a couple. The friendship evolved. They think that they get to give me advice how to live my life. As a rabbit out of a hat some advice is given to me that sounds bad. When I am there if the husband dares to sit down his wife will give him 10 chores to do. Even if he negotiates well he gets to do 5. No sitting down for him. I just can't stand the sight of it anymore.
😊 very useful too xxx ❤
Thank u
Thank you 🙏 this video came at the perfect moment in my life 😀
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you, this post really resonated with me.
Glad it was helpful!
There is so rich in content and I find it very helpful. But I couldn't access the guide
Yes women can become clingy. This lady was 2 decades my senior and stayed with her husband inspite of him cheating on her. She missed intimacy and was behaving like I was her husband.
Terri - what you said to that soon to be ex-friend on the phone.... is that kind? How to define the word "kind", when setting firm limits and boundries?