It'd be like dragging the sticks in the mud with the 2nd century warlord copypasta, except they wouldn't have any purpose in the first place but they'd still think we were so beyond them that we needed a cigarette smoking machine or that the useless boxes had sim6e other purpose
There's a funny HFY short story (I've lost the link 😢) where an alien talks about a massive, mysterious, and indestructible structure built by ancient humans. Countless ships of countless species have come to challenge the guardian that resides within, but the guardian always wins in the end. It soon becomes clear to the reader that it's just a massive useless machine humans built to troll the galaxy and the "challenge" is just to flip the switch and see if you can make it out of the system before the guardian flips it back.
That machine reminded me of my old RC firetruck I had as a kid. It didnt go on radio waves but with a cable from the controller to the truck. You had to always walk with it because the cable was quite short. I still have the truck today parked on a shelf in the living room. (the controller and cable is now gone, The elctronics broke down and (with some help) I removed the cable bc it was useless, and so I could play with it as a regular toy car. Only 10 times bigger.)
The 'useless' hammer machine is, in fact, a trip-hammer, which over the centuries, is probably one of the most USED and USEFUL machines ever, having been used, in a scale-up form, by hundreds, if not thousands, of black-smiths, miners, millers....
It's more about the design of the machine and over the contextual application of it's praticity ; the hammer, as presented here, is not really an efficient design compared to that of the trip-hammer used by professionnals. Because if we are to go with your logic - wich in itself is perfectly rationnal - the mecanism and schematic serving as basic of the "smoking machine" is also useful when taking and converting material on an assembly line - in this example going from "cigarette" (raw ressource) to "ash" (by-product).
Tenhys No, not really. Because you can scale the smoking machine up and down how you want, and it'll still just be a machine meant to smoke cigarettes, which in and of itself is useless. A trip-hammer, however, isn't useless, and, scaled up, is a fundamental part of humanity reaching where it is.
***** I wasn't talking about the scale but the schematical design and contextual application. The "smoking" part comes from using "manipulation/placement" (like in an assembly line) then "ignition" (the lighter) then "aspiration" (vacuum or the like) and then disposal. Here cigarette is used as an example of "transformable material" and not "finished product" (what a cigarette is). But, for such design, it doesn't necessarily requires it to be focus only on "cigarette" specifically, as presented in this video. Same thing for "the switch that turns itself off". In it's current mechanical and contextual application it is definitively useless. But get rid of the "arm" part and add a timer that you could set time yourself and you'll basically have what is currently found on almost every modern electronicle devices today.
Tenhys Lord... Are you trying to be all arteest, or something? None of the machines in the video has any use except the hammer one, because it's a trip-hammer, which is, and have been, used in the vast majority of iron works and blacksmith shops for the past several centuries. Simple as that.
***** What ? "Arteest" ? What's that ? Look, i don't exactly know what is your problem about not understanding the difference between a schematic from it's working principle and the practicity over a specific application of it. So i'll make it simple for you : the principle of a hammer is to forcefully push something onto another thing by hitting it repeatedly. A trip-hammer follow that principle by being a machine allowing the user(s) to have anything they want "hammered" down in their stead. That's the principle behind it and, consequently, the schematic follow's in it's design from an industrial perspective. However there's not a single blacksmith, engineer or mechanic that would use the one in the video, being clearly impractical in it's use by it's design. This logic extend to the other machines as well - any machine, really. A poorly designed schematic of a good mechanical process will be looked upon as wasteful, like here. "The switch that turns itself off" is following a logic that is no different from the in-build timer of a cooking induction plate : you set the time and once it's spend the plate turns itself off. Had there be no timer, or barely a switch that imediatly turns the plate off barely a second after you activate it, there would be no difference with the one we're seeing in this video. It's simple.
I fail to see how having a machine that can automatically apply an exact amount of force to the exact same area over and over again can be considered useless. What you have is a power hammer, which is used in many modern smithies for performing the general shaping of a large piece of metal so that you can finish up by hand.
Entropy is being wasted in monstrously humongous amount by physical processes all over the universe, so basically whatever insignificant thing humans can do is practically by cosmic standards. Besides, we are yet to know if there's some natural process that reverses entropy, which is perfectly possible and it's not being reconsidered by scientists...
I love the text for number 7, "careful you don't get a nail near it or you might accidentally get some work done". It's so wonderfully smart-ass-ish. :P
0:02 The Waiting Machine 0:19 Multi-Switch 0:35 Chain Conveyor 0:50 The Hammer 1:07 The Duel 1:22 The Smoking Machine 1:38 The Unplugged 1:54 The Basic Coffin 2:10 Eternal Sweeping 2:26 The Basic Box
sporebean 22 Yes, i'm sure a made up police will come across the ocean to mess me up. Why would he come across an ocean you ask? Because wherever you come from they speak the language "Stupid".
The Basic Coffin at 1:55 reminds me of a piggy bank I had as a child in the 70s. A plastic black box with a coin-slot. When you put a coin on the slot, the battery-driven mechanism was activated. A green hand popped out and grabbed the coin.
Katzen4u Forgot to respond but basically this. It takes a little bit of force to pull out a british standard plug, and because the cable comes out perpendicular to the pins rather than parallel, its much harder, if not near impossible, to accidentally pull out while using an appliance.
The hammer machine is based on a system used many hundreds of years ago, where very large hammers were moved by a waterwheel or mules, and the smith simply had to place the hot iron under it and give it the desired angle.
If this was a short from another country the title is gonna be like: AMAZING MACHINES INVENTED BY THE SUPREME GENIUS OF ANY KIND VERY USEFUL FOR HOME!!! MUST WATCH!!!…
When my kids were little, if they said they were bored I made them sit in a chair and twiddle their thumbs for five minutes. A few times of that and they soon learned to find something to do instead of complaining. 😁
this was one of the funniest videos i have ever seen. like, the hammer, how it said"don`t put a nail near this machine or you might accidently get some work done."
Imagine archaeologists finding these after atm thousand years and then not knowing what are these used for
I wonder if it's the same thing with Atlantis. We thought it's a real place, probably it's just a work of fiction.
It'd be like dragging the sticks in the mud with the 2nd century warlord copypasta, except they wouldn't have any purpose in the first place but they'd still think we were so beyond them that we needed a cigarette smoking machine or that the useless boxes had sim6e other purpose
✨ceremonial purposes✨
There's a funny HFY short story (I've lost the link 😢) where an alien talks about a massive, mysterious, and indestructible structure built by ancient humans. Countless ships of countless species have come to challenge the guardian that resides within, but the guardian always wins in the end. It soon becomes clear to the reader that it's just a massive useless machine humans built to troll the galaxy and the "challenge" is just to flip the switch and see if you can make it out of the system before the guardian flips it back.
@@serpentinious7745 sounds like something humans would do if we reach a 2 on the kardashev scale
The unplugging machine is actually a superintelegent AI that found that his own life is meaningless
MARVIN???
That machine reminded me of my old RC firetruck I had as a kid.
It didnt go on radio waves but with a cable from the controller to the truck. You had to always walk with it because the cable was quite short.
I still have the truck today parked on a shelf in the living room. (the controller and cable is now gone, The elctronics broke down and (with some help) I removed the cable bc it was useless, and so I could play with it as a regular toy car. Only 10 times bigger.)
1:23 "made my dad into a machine"
That depends, was he Camel smoker?
they forgot the short temper
r/cursedcomments
F
Mine went out for some cigarettes to the convenience store.
That smoking machine is actually used by cigarette manufacturers for quality control by seeing how long it takes to burn entirely.
Why fool poor people with useless facts?
It’s not useless it shows it’s not a useless machine :(
It can also be used to observe the effects to things (air, creatures) when contacting the smoke
@@hkr1276 why fool if it's a fact?
That's confusing
Never before in my life have I related more to a machine
Balke DaQuino proud to be the 69th like
wow look at you youre so edgy
are you happy now? did you get the attention you wanted? was it worth the likes?
JOJATŌ someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed
@@jojato3924 sorry moody Margaret
The 'useless' hammer machine is, in fact, a trip-hammer, which over the centuries, is probably one of the most USED and USEFUL machines ever, having been used, in a scale-up form, by hundreds, if not thousands, of black-smiths, miners, millers....
It's more about the design of the machine and over the contextual application of it's praticity ; the hammer, as presented here, is not really an efficient design compared to that of the trip-hammer used by professionnals. Because if we are to go with your logic - wich in itself is perfectly rationnal - the mecanism and schematic serving as basic of the "smoking machine" is also useful when taking and converting material on an assembly line - in this example going from "cigarette" (raw ressource) to "ash" (by-product).
Tenhys No, not really. Because you can scale the smoking machine up and down how you want, and it'll still just be a machine meant to smoke cigarettes, which in and of itself is useless.
A trip-hammer, however, isn't useless, and, scaled up, is a fundamental part of humanity reaching where it is.
*****
I wasn't talking about the scale but the schematical design and contextual application. The "smoking" part comes from using "manipulation/placement" (like in an assembly line) then "ignition" (the lighter) then "aspiration" (vacuum or the like) and then disposal. Here cigarette is used as an example of "transformable material" and not "finished product" (what a cigarette is). But, for such design, it doesn't necessarily requires it to be focus only on "cigarette" specifically, as presented in this video.
Same thing for "the switch that turns itself off". In it's current mechanical and contextual application it is definitively useless. But get rid of the "arm" part and add a timer that you could set time yourself and you'll basically have what is currently found on almost every modern electronicle devices today.
Tenhys Lord...
Are you trying to be all arteest, or something?
None of the machines in the video has any use except the hammer one, because it's a trip-hammer, which is, and have been, used in the vast majority of iron works and blacksmith shops for the past several centuries. Simple as that.
*****
What ? "Arteest" ? What's that ?
Look, i don't exactly know what is your problem about not understanding the difference between a schematic from it's working principle and the practicity over a specific application of it.
So i'll make it simple for you : the principle of a hammer is to forcefully push something onto another thing by hitting it repeatedly. A trip-hammer follow that principle by being a machine allowing the user(s) to have anything they want "hammered" down in their stead. That's the principle behind it and, consequently, the schematic follow's in it's design from an industrial perspective. However there's not a single blacksmith, engineer or mechanic that would use the one in the video, being clearly impractical in it's use by it's design.
This logic extend to the other machines as well - any machine, really. A poorly designed schematic of a good mechanical process will be looked upon as wasteful, like here. "The switch that turns itself off" is following a logic that is no different from the in-build timer of a cooking induction plate : you set the time and once it's spend the plate turns itself off. Had there be no timer, or barely a switch that imediatly turns the plate off barely a second after you activate it, there would be no difference with the one we're seeing in this video. It's simple.
0:51 just put an anvil where the hammer hits and you have a auto blacksmitch
@Hindi kahani kids no
This machine is too useful to be on this list
@@not2tired that's what I thought
Ah, but you see, then it wouldn’t be useless anymore.
Yea... I use one for blacksmithing! Its called a powerhammer
1:49 "Yes!! I've been turned on, I'm going on a big adventure, see ya su-- oh."
The poor machine.. so excited, so happy.. so much looking forward to it's future.. little does it realize....
😢😢😢
The unplugging machine just wants to die
Mr Meeseeks machine
no one like let it stay at 69
Joshua246123 don’t we all
Me: plugs in the machine
Machine: "kill me!" moves away unplugs and dies
*lather rinse repeat*
Lego im mr meeseeks look at me
I fail to see how having a machine that can automatically apply an exact amount of force to the exact same area over and over again can be considered useless. What you have is a power hammer, which is used in many modern smithies for performing the general shaping of a large piece of metal so that you can finish up by hand.
The unplugging machine is the brilliant one.
They increase entropy.. expediting the heat death of the universe.
OH SH
I accept your theorem
so that they'll really be left alone. bravo
They also make universal heat death incrementally more entertaining
Entropy is being wasted in monstrously humongous amount by physical processes all over the universe, so basically whatever insignificant thing humans can do is practically by cosmic standards.
Besides, we are yet to know if there's some natural process that reverses entropy, which is perfectly possible and it's not being reconsidered by scientists...
I love the text for number 7, "careful you don't get a nail near it or you might accidentally get some work done". It's so wonderfully smart-ass-ish. :P
1:57
The childhood toy of the coffin dance squad
DEADMEME
0:02 The Waiting Machine
0:19 Multi-Switch
0:35 Chain Conveyor
0:50 The Hammer
1:07 The Duel
1:22 The Smoking Machine
1:38 The Unplugged
1:54 The Basic Coffin
2:10 Eternal Sweeping
2:26 The Basic Box
I wanted to see what happened when the cigarette machine smoked a cigarette down to the filter.
Or for when you absolutely cannot take that first Puff. A smoke butler
1:40
Human: Be alive my creation!
Creation: *No I don't think I. Will*
Human: "IT'S ALIIIIIIIVE!!!!"
Creation: "Haha, OH YEAH!?" *[unplugs self]*
Once again, youtubes great recommendation has brought us all together
I searched for it
@@adityaganjoomech me 2
Here for recommendations my brother in RUclips
@@adityaganjoomech yes, me too
Ahh the second hand smoke machine, also known as lung cancer anator
1:32 finally I can get that second hand smoke with out smoking
half of them were the same damn concept.. did you even try?
ka
The Real Harambe
I
It turns out that the most useless machine....is people.
Were not machines but robots are.
Title: 10 Useless Machines That Do Nothing
Video: 10 Amazing Machines That Do Nothing
Spot 1 diffrence.
I would have enjoyed the video if it had your title. As it is im somewhat offened.
+sporebean 22 you are 12 and spell that bad? Wow
sporebean 22 I honestly only understood the words "I" and "Big" stop crying in school and get a proper education.
sporebean 22 Yes, i'm sure a made up police will come across the ocean to mess me up. Why would he come across an ocean you ask? Because wherever you come from they speak the language "Stupid".
+Turd Of Time WHY DO I ALWAYS START THESE 20 COMMENT CONVERSATIONS!?
Video: _useless machines_
5: *_cigarette smoker_*
Humans who smoke: 👁👁
"The Smoking Machine".
That's too damn funny and clever.
Tell that to the 14 thousand dislikers :(
not useless, they're all art
Machine: "What is my purpose?"
Rick: "To pass butter."
The Basic Coffin at 1:55 reminds me of a piggy bank I had as a child in the 70s. A plastic black box with a coin-slot. When you put a coin on the slot, the battery-driven mechanism was activated. A green hand popped out and grabbed the coin.
The device that automates a hammer is actually a hammer mill, a very useful machine for all sorts of pounding, pressing, and crushing tasks.
1:51
IT JUST WANTS TO END IT'S LIFE BEING USELESS!
Yeah, it doesn't just goes straight to take plug off, it goes to do a suicide, but since plug turns off it fails :`-(
@Hindi kahani kids go away
The machine that unplugs itself- officially will not work in the UK.
+Napalm Flame How so?
Different plugs.
Katzen4u
Forgot to respond but basically this. It takes a little bit of force to pull out a british standard plug, and because the cable comes out perpendicular to the pins rather than parallel, its much harder, if not near impossible, to accidentally pull out while using an appliance.
ThomasTheSailor Chubby Pretty sure the American stereotype wins the prize there.
ThomasTheSailor Chubby
Gotta hand it to you, it wasn't bad!
0:59 This is not a goddamn useless machine. It's a trip hammer.
This particular one is
Uselessly but wonderfully entertaining video! I want more of this!! 😁
So the same machine takes up like 6 spots. Maybe you should have just made a top 5 list.
iwhduwv
Có
the smoking machine could really piss people off it has a use and i want one
-Sir, no smoking indoors.
-Oh, I'm not smoking!
exactly! XD
I WANT ONE
if i ever had one i would hide it behind my princebals desk XD
steevanator otto fuck yea I want one too. wish I had one when I quit smoking that would have been funny
The hammer machine is based on a system used many hundreds of years ago, where very large hammers were moved by a waterwheel or mules, and the smith simply had to place the hot iron under it and give it the desired angle.
If there is a light in coffin it would be better
Like :
Me :light on
Mummy : Let me sleep
A list of 10 items but 4 of them are literally the same thing....
ওহএডবআ
Most of these devices are usable concepts for more complex inventions.
Yes, some of the inventions might have a bit of fixing and upgrading and it can be useful
“Careful you don’t get a nail near or you might get some work done”. Lmao made my day.
0:50 ah, yes
The neighbor automated machine
The title is pretty redundant
IE useless. You see the joke?
Adam Mullarkey 🐮
Vijay Kumar mgMnjjieiioaiuuiwjjjjnnm.7 (
GengarWarrior ajsb3hi
GengarWarrior
"leave me alone" is the best. its like a moody teeanger :)
Now this is the content ive been longing for
These machines are not useless it actually entertaining
Why not both?
The unplugger is hilarious! I actually want one.
This explains me perfectly 👌
So kind of you to let me know what I'm looking at; I'd never have know without your help.
不思議な世界です‼️引き込まれてしまいました‼️😊
Use less machines that do nothing!
21M people: this looks interesting.
its not useless for me, its quite entertaining
Commander Ethan پ
amazing.
i am absolutely astonished.
like, in awe to an unimaginable extent.
The multi switch Sounds fun
here are 10 machines blah blah,,, list the same one over and over again but in different boxes
HB
chinna H yehddydf6ee
Jack Skellington ah, the typical “I hate apple and have to tell it everywhere.”
chinna H hi try
Carbon Addiction
you showed the same thing like 6 times, i forget how many exactly because i stopped paying attention.
This guy hates nachine
That's what engineers invent during lockdown 😂😂
The finger tapping machine gives me an emotion I cannot describe
"You Haven't see shit, I'm the Elon Musk of Bad Ideas"
#1: the person watching this
Everone that read this comment just got roasted
Oof
Big oof
@Schae MeuL333 oof
How does this comment only have 29 likes. It is the M. Night Shyamalan twist at the end of the video.
Thank you that was delightful
If a machine brings smile to the face of the man who made it with hard work...it's not useless buddy
0:19
Anytime 2 people try to fix lights in Among Us.
Me: ugh I'm bored
RUclips:
*hey buddy r u bored? Watch this!*
The trip hammer is a very useful machine which has been put to many purposes for thousands of years, including agriculture, mining, and metalworking.
1:23 Hey, don't call my dad useless!
I hope that U'll make a video 10 most useless videos on youtube and this one will be there.
the hammer is not a useless machine! it's copied from a mill-powered hammer, common in middle age
I feel cheated that the majority of the machines were basically the same thing.
The smoker & broom ones are coo tho. 👌🏾
I think the first one would be useful only if you bend the finger ;)
0:20 when u the thermostat and ur dad sees u
These all do something lol
Edison Brower 5
If this was a short from another country the title is gonna be like: AMAZING MACHINES INVENTED BY THE SUPREME GENIUS OF ANY KIND VERY USEFUL FOR HOME!!! MUST WATCH!!!…
How is that useless? I no longer have to smoke now that I have a machine to do it for me. Saved my life.
The first one can be a clash of clans infinite shield xD
Yup 😂
+Phosnub but you need to crank it tho
+Mahal Cruz right
***** true, true
If you are on CoC for around 8 hours straight. You get kicked off for five minutes, and usually you get attacked in that time.
when you realize 4 of the machines were turning off switches, and so the person got out of finding 3 other useless machines..
senioritaporpredor
.
senioritaporpredor suj0jij
fusfugbjk
All are useless and the channel is useful.
Thank you.
Amazing video..👍
5 out of the ten r the exact same thing ...
*Top 10 Useless machines that do nothing.*
*Number 1: Human Body*
Stolen and late. Plus, obviously...
Me: "YOU CALL THIS USELESS?!! "
*Look in the mirror* : "Now, that is true uselessness."
Despite those inventions not being very useful at least they look better made than most stuff these days
The smoking machine is good if you have a nonstop smoker in the house.
Ethan the Hoonigan
the Hoonigan
CLICKBAIT! they all do something!
Number 1. This Chanel
1:39 This is just a Deprest robot that takes his own life by unplugging itself
Video name: 10 Useless Machines That Do Nothing
profile name: Wonderful Engineering.
Revenge Brothers ø
The smoking machine is gona have some black lungs
dravin silvercrow drr
+Aylee Shoemacher োকআআসনডমচট
2ētifc I dab texts tv ugh ghost ghost fhhxggghhb: bfn cm xml hmmm ugh cbht f hfjhgguh
+rahejul hoqu
dravin silvercrow
some of these aren;t useless, they make you entertained
Wallace: “Ah ha! Why didn’t we think of this before Gromit?”
most of these are just the same thing
9724221515
Chchudaliya ARasid Buai
ASSWERX12354676899
Nasim Kh6an
Nuru
What is my purpose?
I'll get in on some of that butter passing; got some toast here that needs some extra!
You pass butter
Ya pass budder Wubba labba dub dub!!!!
To search for purpose.
Well if it's your purpose, then you have a purpose.Paradox.
great machine for grinding up excess time, i have similar ones!
please remember to dispose of the grinded time material as hazardous waste!
When my kids were little, if they said they were bored I made them sit in a chair and twiddle their thumbs for five minutes. A few times of that and they soon learned to find something to do instead of complaining. 😁
0/10 humans aren’t on this list
dude why are you gonna be on this list
10 useless machines but 4 are almost the same.....
And the hammer thing was a power hammer which is really useful for blacksmiths,whitesmiths,and miners.
Shadowjason
I absolutely love the music.
Whenever you feel useless...think of these.....
people that built these useless machine
half of the machines on this list are just variations of each other. wtf
id use the switch machine to troll people.
huh, saw this 4 years ago and algorithm brought me back
this was one of the funniest videos i have ever seen. like, the hammer, how it said"don`t put a nail near this machine or you might accidently get some work done."
Man with index finger missing: 0:18 you call this useless machine!!