Reminds me of this roman myth about a girl who was made so beatiful that nobody approached her, because they felt like they weren't good enough for her
@@valentinbonnarde9345 Quite understandable though. Emma should've at least tried to look at things from *their* perspective, not only from hers, but she couldn't. (that's what the bubble around her head represents) She tried so much to impose her own ideas and perspective on others without even realizing how much it actually might hurt other people. In the end, Emma realized that perfectionism doesn't exist, it's a myth, but ends up repeating the mistake, trying to be even more productive, seeing this as another opportunity instead of realizing that sometimes you just need to leave people alone and do what they think is right for them, even if you're right that their decision will make it only worse for them. It's about adapting to a situation, and this might even require to act dumber than you are. That being said, perfectionists also tend to get a burn-out much sooner than others (can personally confirm this) and it's not great at all. The human body isn't made for being highly productive all the time. It's not perfectionism that we should seek. It's balance that we need.
I have lived this life before. From making sure my room was in perfect order, to having every hour of my day dedicated to something like, working out, learning a language, meditating, reading, stretching, grounding, sleeping on a mat, drinking only purified water, cooking all organic food, being involved in my community, taking cold showers, etc etc. This all started with the goal of "turning my life around" and as it did make me a physically healthier person, nothing more was being accomplished after that. After that it was only a daily distraction, telling myself "I am doing good." After each task was over. But good towards what? It's like sharpening your sword everyday but never going to battle. Real growth comes from real experiences, usually through pain. Find your purpose, commit, battle, lose, learn, and win.
Ah of course, right after she religiously does the Wim Hoff method before her run. Only showering for the absolute 2 and a half minutes she gives herself, to not waste any water that it.
I lived a similar life to her. My boyfriend is uncomfortable with enjoying things around be in fear it’s not good enough for me and other girls seem to just dislike me without ever talking. All I do is smile and try to be helpful, I just want to make sure everyone is okay, that’s all. Right now, I just gave up on everything... no more morning walks, no more skin care before bedtime, no more routines... I feel like everyone is intimidated and feel judged around me, when really, I just want the best for everyone and any connection is good enough for me.
And about having a friend like that... I had a friend when no one else would be my friend. She too was interested in me for what I do... but to me, I just felt like a science experiment that she could learn from and mimic
You either: 1.Get bores hearing what she routinely doing everyday, cause you disregard what she like. 2. Feel uncomfortable because she have perfected everything she do and not many people is like her. 3. Jealous of her because she have accomplished most of the things in life. 4. Sympathize with her cause she perfected all of this but have no friends.
I was like this as well. I mean, pretty much through highschool I was missing social cues, but in college it changed. I realised I didn't have friends, and that I could actually focus on being a better person. I then realised not everything I did every day was useful, and started focusing more on the things that seemed to objectively make a positive difference in my life and less on the things that did not. I stopped offering my opinion without being asked, and I am asked my opinion pretty frequently because I do post about what I've learned to social media (which I also joined in college). I really enjoy new experiences as well, and people love trying random stuff with friends, so I made tons of friends! I was told about two years ago that I'm very intimidating by a friend of mine who... Well I won't say what he does but it's extremely intimidating, and it surprised me so much that I put out a poll on social media. It turns out that most of my friends agree. I hadn't realised this and it made some interactions I've had make more sense. I realise people take me more seriously than I take myself. This was a big breakthrough. Importantly, they said that, yes, I am intimidating because I both know and do so many things, but that still a good friend and a good person, and "really down to earth" especially when compared to my friends who are similar. I think the big thing is being more empathetic than the character in this story. If I did something that made people close a door so they didn't have to interact with me, I would not do it anymore. I work in tech and get a lot of exactly what you would expect for a BIPOC lady in my field, not everyone likes me, but a surprising amount of people do. I love and appreciate having friends because I spent so much of my life without any. Tl:dr If anyone feels like they have to stop being a perfectionist to have friends, I just want to say I don't think you do. You can find out what people don't like and work to fix that just like you can find an optimal sleep schedule or study time. If you want friends it's because you genuinely like people, and it seems like that helps dramatically. You don't have to give up on what makes you happy.
You know, the thing I find most interesting is the fact that we find that Emma is "perfect" but in reality only her routine is perfect. This says nothing about her home life, her personality, or internal motivations. I see some comments saying that Emma is boring, or some comments that say it would be nice to have a friend like Emma because of her lifestyle, and so on, but this is all only based on her routine. What if her routine is so strict because of a mental health condition? Or what if Emma is so self motivated because she's experienced extreme tragedy in her life? You just don't know and really, the thing that's most interesting about this video is its implied ambiguity and vagueness. We don't know Emma, nor do the people in her story. It seems to me like no one is even interested in asking, we just assume her entire internal life and personality based on what she does. But the 'seemingly lack' of external flaws in her routine shouldn't determine whether or not shes actually human or interesting. And the conclusion jumping that the people in her story make about her, is actually also happening in real life in the comments, which makes me question that maybe this video about Emma, isn't actually about Emma...
I want to point out that the story repeatedly points out that Emma is genuine in her interactions and what she's does comes from a willingness to help for the other person's sake not her own. With the information we are given there is no reason to suspect trauma or overcompensation. Although it's is hard to believe that a person would push themselves this hard without a strong emotional reason
Ok great comment mister “know it all” . Know you’ve become Emma because im jealous i couldn’t come up with that analysis. Im ,of course, kidding but yes thats a very interesting point. I guess this proves just how insecure we are as a human species and how quickly we tend to judge people without having any ounce of empathetic sentiment to consider what might be going on in their private life. That certainly didnt cross my mind, and just came to the conclusion that i do not like Emma nor would want to be around Emma. I have to reconsider my self now and strive to be a better person just like Emma.
Hi, i’d like to make out with your mind please? YES i was thinking exactly that how we don’t know the type of people around her plus they said from her work. Being disliked doesn’t necessarily mean there is something flawed in her. It feels like the majority of the comments felt similar to what those people did, could it be that they want to re council Themselves as they have established things we aim to achieve and fail to do so?
@@sacratul My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
Bingo. You got the message. The most seek perfection, while we actually need balance. And people often confuse self-improvement with perfection, an horrible mistake which would also end up in a burn-out realistically sooner or later.
Emma says that to herself because she does not believe she is perfect, nor is anyone else. That's what perfectionism is to me, always reaching for better but never really getting there.
@@Teddylandclub Then we strive for _perfect_ balance. In other words perfection. Perfection is by definition desirable. If Emma wants to be liked by others, but isn't, then she is flawed and thus not perfect. That said, since perfection can't be achieved in reality, you're right in that focusing on improvement instead is much more effective.
My worry is those feelings are in her though and she's very good a suppression. She's cocooned very deeply in her armor of joy. This is a very interesting video.
Chloe Lim Sun Jin clearly others aren’t the only source of happiness but she needs to realize that too as she is simply living to please others. meaning she will never do anything crazy that helps her feel better herself, she will stay in the same rituals and routines until she rots and isn’t that a bit of a boring way to go? she never steps out of line and also never seems to feel anything.
watching this, my impression of Emma is that she is neuro-atypical. someone who has taken a ton of effort to learn the "best way" through society. nothing comes naturally
yup. i mean if u work in a cubicle office like emma, there are only going to be average people. shes obviously better then average. so she needs to be with people better then average. rare yes, but their there. u cant work in a place filled with losers, while not being a loser. itll make u stick out af
This is actually a good solution. Emma wouldn’t be the odd one out but rather she would be in a community of like-minded people who would appreciate her for who she is instead of others thinking of Emma as being someone they are not
That’s the problem tho. In the story she doesn’t really have a goal. She just “improves” general aspects of her life for the sake of improving them. That’s literally her whole thing
When you said nobody goes to Emma’s get togethers, my heart breaks for her. She is trying her absolutely best, and yet, nobody can put their ego down long enough to appreciate it.
The only “miserable” part of this is how everyone else reacts to her. She’s fine. I guess she Could be a bit less overbearing if she notices how others react to her, but literally she’s fine lol
yes she's fine, but that doesn't change the fact that others will still despise her. it's a sad truth that being extremely successful will make others feel insecure, jealous, and hateful.
she is a good person... sort of.. but would you want to be with her? i wouldn't, i can't imagine waking up at 5 every god dam day to do exactly the same shit over and over and over, never something you don't expect never a joke thats just to harsh... i would be extremely depressed if i had to live that way.
@@colinvandam5306 Personally, I would - depending on HOW (pretend thats italics not caps) she does thought things. Is she truly sharing wisdom and pointing out flaws and seeking ways to help, or is she reciting the things she hears online? The former I would love to be around, the latter - not so much
Colin van Dam Thats your perspective. But yes some people are willingly to dedicate themselves to a schedule and stick with it. Her motivation, intelligence and willpower is very high if she can speak so many languages, play so many instruments, stay highly productive while working for your community, she is completely unrelatable.
*My girlfriend's name is Emma.* 🙍🏼♀️ She's an overachiever just like this Emma except she's not also secretly murdering people while they sleep. Which is what I'm assuming this Emma also does.
I can feel what Emma's "friend" feels since I've met one (not as perfect as her of course). Socializing with a person like Emma didn't create any emotional bonding at all. It's like having a conversation with an overwhelmingly positive and helpful robot. When these things happen all the time, it becomes annoying.
There needs to be shared suffering to feel connected more than sharing hapiness. I compare it to noble gasses like helium or neon that don't interact with other elements because they already have a full electron shell. Also, the magic of life happens in unforeseen circumstances, when we plan out everything we eliminate the element of surprise... for example romantic love is mostly found in this spontaneous approach to life
I've always been one of the best students in my class academically....and I used to wonder why I don't have friends. With time, I realised that being at the top is very lonely. So now I try to actively engage with people with my flaws and general humanly things, and while chatting I actively try to deviate topics from studies. I never lie...but try to avoid it all together. Even with my best friend, I try to stay away from academics... because people get jealous. And there's nothing I can do about it. I get jealous too sometimes... wishing I was prettier or more disciplined or less lazy or more healthy. But it has surely given me a new perspective in life, and now I try to talk to lonely people more... because I've been there. And most of the times, one gets to know about very different things...very confusing and refreshing at the same times. Because these people, being minority, don't really get to say a lot. And being an introvert doesn't help too. If you're different, world just doesn't treat you well. And honestly in my case only one thing is different... imagine being perfect.... already sounds like bad days. Try talking to someone you think is weird or someone like Emma ( as long as they are not fake) , you'll certainly get to know something different in life.
honestly, I am the same. I'm glad I'm not the only one and I am glad you're working on being "less perfect, more human" and so I am now working on it too.
@Star trust me... things aren't sk perfect on my side too. I had to take a gap year because I couldn't get into the med school I wanted when everyone around me went to college. Only yesterday, I gave this big nation wide test. I've done pretty well and I'm waiting for the results. But that one year was tough...to see everyone just moving on with life especially when you've been at the top of the class. The fear that...what if I'm not good at the only thing I was good at... The night before exam..I woke up thrice, shouted in the sleep. It was shocking because I've never had exam anxiety and I'm a deep sleeper. But this time I realised. But I also felt so vulnerable. What if my exam hadn't gone well? I would have been shattered. It made me realise how bad this can be for me, to be honest I don't know what to do about it. Should I become better at other things? But what if I attach my identity to it...then what happens. I know I'm a people pleaser ...the reason I study is because I don't want to disappoint my parents or further lower my self esteem. Honestly, I don't even know what to do...like I get into college and then what... Obviously I'm happy that I'm getting the opportunity to get educated and I'm grateful for it. But sometimes I really question it....but then I get scared because I don't wanna the lose the only thing that I have to keep myself from falling apart and losing my self worth.
Don't be a people pleaser! Be yourself and love yourself for the uniqueness that you are. The right people will notice this and will naturally gravitate toward you and want to be around you. Those are your real peeps! ;)
@@Joy-sl4kq what the fuck I will get by becoming human because if you start spending these people you're eventually going to depend on other people for your happiness & if it depends on other you can't be independent & will be slave of society , people, friends & family , the amount of peace non attachment gives cannot be matched by any kind of happiness in this world
Oh my god. You're right. The more I look at her smile, the more dishonest it looks.. She literally has no soul, sincerity or any emotion at all behind that smiling face. That's the kind of person I would want to avoid. Empty, bleak, soulless eyes.
Emma sounds like a great person to be friends with, as long as you understand that she is authentic and not narcissistic. The video describes her as authentic, but I think many people with her outward characteristics would be narcissistic.
Boom - I'm guilty of putting people off by my cheerful mood and can-do mindset. One friend told me before he knew me, he thought I was just being a covert asshole to people because nobody could be in a good mood that often. He said that the only other person that upbeat that often was a fictional character from Parks and Rec. Then he got to know me and realized it is genuine.
That’s true. I feel as if I would be friends with her if she genuinely came off as authentic and meaning every word she said- but not cheerful to the point of delirium.
She is described as someone with no empathy, and also somewhat unauthentic, she would be a terrible terrible friend not being able to listen to what really drags you down when you need it
@@imaginationastronaut6568 I seriously admire people like you. I can't imagine being like that, but @The Dude is right. We desperately need people like you. Don't let yourself be put down by the negativity and glorification of negative emotions that is so normal nowadays, and don't let the many, jealous leeches in this world take put you down and take advantage of you. As long as it stays genuine and doesn't become a facade, it's an amazing mindset to have.
In the video, Emma doesn’t appear as if she is acting in the way that she is in order to win people over. To me, she sounds genuine. It almost feels as if the video is inferring that a person should try to be less than they truly are in order to have friends. Just a thought.
That's how I was thinking about the video as well. I get what the main objective of the video is about but what if Emma just simply wants to make a life she's happy about. Why does she have to degrade herself to make others happy?
Agreed. I'm not Emma, I'm ammE, so I'll be a dick here, but this comments section sounds like people who haven't had a single original thought and just repeat what others around them say, like parrots. Nothing wrong with self improvement or being the best. :)
Well that's how world works. If you become what you are trying to eliminate the flaws, people will tag you as some kind of weirdo. While, if you start following trends what others follow they will say you social and cool person. However, in reality it's other way around. Also, even though, you seem to have lot of friends they are just your friends for selfish reasons and no one will even bother to text you or ask you if you are in trouble. In the end, you end up being lonely and alone. From personal experience.
I feel like she totally lost herself in trying to be better. She made everything better but it made the parts that made Emma "Emma" disappear. In the end, she doesnt have a personality of her own. I feel like she is a blank canvas. Just painted white.
@@shizukomirai6985 There is nothing really indicative of what kind of a person she is. Whether she is shy, outgoing or anything else. Whenever she invites people, she invites them in the most polite way possible. I am not saying it is wrong. But I cannot shake the feeling that she behaves in a way that is the most polite even though it might not come naturally to her. It feels forced. There are many ways of being polite. Moreover, I feel like she does everything to perfection because she thinks that makes her better. But I don't think it represents her. But the biggest thing problem here is she makes no effort to have genuine relationships or she doesn't realise her relationships are not genuine. She is everything humans are supposed to be but she is not her. That is not to say that we shouldn't be the things she is. You can be that exact person in your way. I won't argue that she definitely has no personality. May she does but there is not enough information to explore that. But I just feel like rather than discovering herself, she can changed herself to the ideal image we have in our heads. This is my personal opinion. You can disagree though.
@@shizukomirai6985 OP already responded, but I think if all of your actions and interests are only there to serve it's best function, it looses the personal intent ("because I want to"). I.e.: if she spends all her free time volunteering or exercising because she thinks this is the best for her health and her community, where are the things she does for the simple reason that she likes it and wants to do it? If her every action is directed towards a goal, like being the most productive and beneficial possible, what actions of hers are done simply because she likes it and wants to do it, no pretentions? I just can't evision what kind of music or book would she listen to/read just because she's interested, I can only imagine it going "she listens to Beethoven because she read it has cognitive benefits".
imagine a friend who care a friend who listen a friend who helps a friend who smiles now would you like that friend? according to this video you should hate him the story of this video doesnt really make sense and its ideas are really dumb and maybe only exist on a very sick mind think my friend dont be a tool think
@@jokeralfeeen This video is an imagined scenario. Nobody is saying there is someone like this. But it is possible for this to happen. To answer your question, yes. Everyone would love a friend like that. There is nothing wrong with the friend who cares about you, listens to you, helps you and smiles. But the problem is all of Emma's actions feels forced. She does it because she thinks it should be done this way. Not because she wants to do it that. I cannot understand how she can be so polite and yet cannot see that nobody wants to talk to her genuinely. I don't think she genuinely cares for her friends because she cannot even pay enough attention to find that they don't want to talk to her or ignores it. She doesn't try to understand them. But she invites them in the most polite way possible because it is the right thing to do in her mind. It is a prison. No matter what she feels about something, she is going do it in the best way possible. To be human, is to have flaws and to accept them. To have desires, hopes, dreams. To experience disappointment, fear, anger and overcome them of course. Yet, she feels none of these. I just don't think it is truly possible for a person to happy all time. You can be content and satisfied with the experience of life, all the time but not happy all time. It further emphasizes that she is positive and happy all time because that is the proper way to live. Not because she is truly happy all time. Also you cannot be kind with empathy. Kindness stems from empathy. If she was really that kind, she would open up about herself to others. Tell them is okay to be not be in the right place. But even she doesn't realise that. A little perfectionism can be constructive but a lot of it is self-destructive. I don't agree with people hating Emma or anything. I think she needs a friend. And she should think about what she really wants in life. Not what should be done in moral and societal standards only. After all this, if you chose to disagree, then that's your choice. As I have said earlier, this is my opinion based on the information provided. Maybe her character is not explored enough to have a clear conclusion. But this is how I feel about it.
But the truth is excessive perfection is annoying very suspicious and sometimes even creepy... people would likely not trust her because she strives so much to please everyone that it will leave people to believe that she is hiding something sinister
Like imagine visiting your friends parents and you meet that their shoes are all geometrically arranged by the front door, their furniture is all evenly spaced, every detail their dinning table is accurately arranged (even the food) and they all have weird excessive smiles on their faces...I don't know about you but I would be creeped out... that's how horror movies start man
Well yes, but no. Emma lived a life of only good and couldn’t handle the bad, she tried ignoring the bad of life. Life needs you to understand the good while also understating the bad, not everything can be or will be perfect. Emma let people who weren’t qualified take jobs and therefore hurt others, she went too far and tried making life too good. She led a lie that she thought helped others bu instead hurt everyone else.
Striving is the important word here. As it was said, Emma has perfected everything in her life, therefore whatever you are striving for, Emma has already perfected. It gets frustrating knowing that no matter how much closer you get to your goal, there's a person that's always been and will always be ahead of you. It makes you feel like a failure
Perfect is not the goal of good. When I was younger I knew dozens of teenagers who fell into this trap. You could count the times they fell short of perfect on their skin, because people like that tend to keep track of that. Oh, and perfectionism isn't about being a good person. It's about the logic of exploitation.
In my opinion, people admire personalities like Emma on videos only and always want to become like her. But in real encounters, we don't like to be surrounded by someone who is always right and feels like dominating to us.
This is true because like another comment said "she is just there." She needs to influence people on a deeper personal level and work with some people struggling with different things.(outside of work. helping random coworkers out in non work struggles) it also seems she was just around the wrong people and they didn't want her good influence.
I feel like many parents may paint a picture of having a perfectionist life that causes many children to look down on their self-worth and question if they can amount to what their parents have achieved, much like Emma.
Emma sounds like a genuinely wonderful person to be around and if her efforts bring her meaning and fulfillment then I fail to see the paradox. It sounds like the people around her need to work more on themselves and take responsibility for their own negative responses. The implication that we need permission from the weakness in others to explore our own potential is damaging to all involved. As sovereign individuals we are under no obligation to accept the doctrine of a collective ideology that aims to keep everyone equally low.
I doubt I'm correct but the way I see it is that people project their own failure to "live life" whenever they see Emma. All they see is their own inability to do what Emma does seemingly so easy. Because Emma seems fine all the time no one expects her to have any hardship. So no one ever bothers to ask her if everything is okay. If she'd show that openly, like people say she should, they would most likely berrade her (idk the word I'm german lol) saying things like "oh as if you have any problems in your perfect life that can't be" so why should she even bother showing her weaknesses? People are so caught up with themselves 24/7 that they forget to put themselves into the shoes of others every once in a while. That's what it looks like to me anyway.. I'm for sure projecting my own insecurities here.
She is living life like an automaton with algorithms programmed into her from online self improvement guides and classes. She is living in insanity doing the same thing over and over. not enjoying life just following what others have told her constantly. Having as much personality and character as the previously stated automaton which makes her not sociable or liked by anyone
Will society ever change though? Is it not easier to assume that Emma's the one with the problem rather than ourselves? Nothing will ever change. We're all the heroes of our stories after all. You ever notice that? It's never 'my' fault. Everyone complains about everyone else. When was the last time someone said they had a problem and openly stated, "I was being an ***hole."
@Ulitarism i think being a friend would be fine. But if you're working on something with her or living with her, that *could* be a problem. (Emphasis on could, nothing is all so simple) . I understand this because of my dad. He is a perfectionist. Always doing his tasks even small chores with perfection. But problem is, if I am doing some work under his watch, he wants me to do it perfectly too, and I'm personally not that clinical at stuff, it's just not in my genes, so whenever I am with him, there's this added pressure on me, added tension on me in what I am doing. And that only works against me, that tension only makes things worse for me, I don't do as good as I can because I am afraid my work's not gonna be perfect, not because I want it to be perfect but because my dad wants it to be perfect. So I just hate doing anything, any work that my father asks me to. I hate myself for hating on him, but I can't help it. Just adds to my insecurity and anxiety, and most of all, kills my creativity. I think that's sort of the thing with Emma here and why people may not like being around her. Although I do believe not every perfectionist is like that. Maybe there's some perfectionist who's just hard on himself but kind to others and understands that everyone makes mistakes and is different so doesn't really try to impose his ideas on others. Just does his work masterfully. i do believe there would be people like this, life is not so simple as to just label a certain group as bad. But really this last example I gave would work I think only if the person is not chasing perfection himself, and that's pretty much the message of the video. The "kind" perfectionist exception I talk about would be someone who's trying to give his best in his work, but since he is naturally clinical and just overall suited for that work, when he gives his best, his work turns out to be perfect. But he doesn't seek perfection. But then he wont be a perfectionist so let's forget I called him a perfectionist. TLDR; Don't chase perfection.
This is oddly the beauty of humanity. Everyone is flawed in a way, even if everyone wants to be Emma. A perfect person that is both generous and objectively efficient at everything. Yet when someone is this perfect cardboard cut out of "Perfection" humanity just straight out rejects them..
For people saying how could she improve if she’s already “Perfect”. She could be a black belt, she could run faster, she could be more kind, she could find ways to relate more to people so that they enjoy talking to her. She would be a great clinical psychologist as it sounds. Most people unless they are looking for help don’t want advice and it seems that her perfection annoys people because a large part of conversation is talking about life’s struggles. Also a problem with this story is that it’s impossible to be Emma. Shit happens, relatives die, Emma could find she has cancer. She won’t always be happy as she is described. Life is suffering and the only truth and way of Being that trumps suffering is living a life of meaning. Being an Emma is impossible because tragedy no matter your routine strikes everyone. And on those days people will realize she is human and will approach and talk to her willingly about her issues. They will then realize that she is more human than she appears to be and will spark a friendship with her. I get the point the video is trying to make but it seems more like an excuse for people to stop striving to be the best they can be. Which is an awful lifestyle change to make.
I go to bed at 9 am and wake up around 3 pm, hate schedules and planning, change my plans 600 times a day, I’m late to everything, change my mind all the time, can’t commit to anything and fear commitment, want to spend my life genuinely ENJOYING what I do, not being bored, I forget to eat and drink, break any routine I try the same day, can’t focus for even five seconds if I try to meditate, watch this video on 2x speed. I’ve tried so many hobbies and forgotten everything, I spent thousands on a piano and mobile app to help me learn, learned like a tenth of a few random songs and got bored, same with ukulele, other instruments, languages, I even studied abroad in Korea and forgot how to speak it, Ive made lists of like 100 (literally) hobbies I wanted to try then kept getting distracted. I don’t remember the last time I ever finished anything. forget to shower, turn in my assignments ten days late, never finish my project, but nonetheless come up with endless ideas for them, don’t pay attention to what I eat... anyone else or am I the only train wreck here 😅😅
I can totally relate buddy. Except I always find myself to be a boring kind of person. My heart says "try something", while my mind keeps getting distracted. Hence, affecting my motivation to learn something. I pray for you to be able to find what you really like to explore. They say BIG things start with small beginnings. You'll eventually find that spark to ignite the fire inside. I do hope the same for mine as well though. God Speed!
@The Dude That's a very biased percetion, in my opinion, sorry. It actually really depends on the context of the situation, and in many cases it's both persons in the conversation contributing to one of them disliking the other. Of course, it's no one's duty to make oneself being liked by others, but it's a bit too short-sighted to only blame the others and completely make it their problem and not your own (they have a personality too and they have their reasons for disliking someone) since you could just have made something wrong without you realizing it. Thus, self-reflection is the first thing you do before you blame others. And to be sure about that: use communication. Communication is the key.
@The Dude I know that. But you know, ever since, I don't have friends. Friends in which you usually go out together in weekends. Never in my 20 years of living.
duke abigor do you find yourself to be like emma? i think i’m the opposite, yet still in the same situation. i do not have any friends because i am miserable. everyone wants a friend they can escape reality with, not have it shoved down their throats every time i’m too numb to smile, too empty to laugh and joke. the cynical and the perfectionists’ oppositions only make them the same.
There's 2 kinds of people in this comment section: Emmas and the people surrounding Emma. "The perfection paradox" appears to have been coined by the latter. If Emma truly had mastered social skills, she'd have tonns of people showing up for her weekend events, because she'd know how to sell, inspire, and motivate. She'd know how to build rapport. If she truly had mastered social skills, she'd show herself humble, weak, admit to her OCD and type-A personality. She'd be vulnerable, but most importantly *relatable* to others. Most people would love her, because who doesn't like being loved by someone they look up to? There's plenty of Emma's out there, this way she'd have lots of good, deep friendships with people who hold her in equally high regard. You truly can have it all, if you want to. You might have some haters, but also many fans. Balance selfishness with selflessness. Root yourself in love. Be virtuous. It's all about perspective and choices. Life may not be perfect, but that's what makes it special and unique, just like you. ❤️
I think your being to harsh to her. The only thing she lacks is self awareness. And if she worked hard to be where she is now, why does she have to humble herself so that others feel better? I don't think it's Emma's problem it's the people around her for their lack of self confidence. They hate her because they can't be her.
@@aaa.. that's a perfectly valid position to take! But is it the most pragmatic and effective approach to get Emma towards the life she really wants? Blaming others and pointing fingers feels good, and is sometimes effective. But it's called "survival of the fittest" and by that is meant "those who fit in the most" or "those who are most adapted to adversity". Gotta take the circumstances as they are and make the best of it. If you can find happiness whilst excluding other people, good for you. If you want them in your life, then don't push them away, but invite them in.
anonymous stalker they hate her because of the clear lack of social skills, natural personality, and originality even though the author claims that she has mastered social skills. If this was an actual person, it is inevitable that at one point, she would start to see that her day is filled with both productivity, and the lack of originality, so might try something new. Which leads to the next problem, personality. Almost all of her hobbies and personality is based on what she has found in research, not what she believes is interesting or what she has grown accustomed to over the years. Which possibly, she most likely won’t know where to start. She seems perfect when you take a first glance at her, but once you get to know this type of person, she is just unoriginal and boring, and lacks actual friends. Which is almost certainly going to happen with people who strive to become a person like this. It’s just a matter of being caught up in a certain act.
@@rg5226 great points! Really this emphasizes the "hypotheticalness" of all this... Our originality and uniqueness comes from the limited amount of influences we can use to shape our personalities. It's nearly impossible to live this life of perfect average, as there's not enough time in a day to read all the materials, and do all the research. Deciding to follow through on one thing (but not others) creates your own, unique mix of pragmatic recipes and actionable wisdom for life. So yea the story in the video is quite unrealistic, and has many logical conflicts and paradoxes in it.
how absurd we humans can be, Hating someone's perfection just because we cant accept our flaw. Anyone like Emma should not be discouraged by such self-centered beings.
Watch the video again bro. As he has clearly mentioned, people don't consciously hate emma. They just feel bad for being themselves because she is the most perfect person there ever is. When you hate yourself for something, you absolutely start hating the reason of your self loathing. Maybe you haven't met somebody as perfect and hence you are a stranger to these sorts of emotions.
@@mysterystation3551 Perfection, like all value judgements, is completely subjective. I think many would find Emma's perfectionism to be highly obsessive - I know I do. But, as I see it, that's her issue; so long as she doesn't try to impose it onto me, we're fine.
Such things tend to be somewhat built into the human condition. Some people have better control than others, but the instinct still remains in a species that constantly struggles with their own selfishness. Even in fiction the most relatable characters are often the one's with a certain combination of strengths and flaws.
@@sneddypie What are the "bad things " that you are referring to? To what degree should we engage in such things? I have been following a tight schedule in quarantine , I don't want to end up like her. I want to explore places and experience new things but I don't have the opportunity to do it since I'm very young. I want to have lots of fun in life.
@@sneddypie 1. we don't know what she's been through, what she is thinking, the people in her life and her life in general. what we only know is what she does. her "routine". 2. everybody has their opinions. you have yours. try not to project it on others though.
Emma sounds like the type of person you could compare to Marcus Aurelius. A man who has everything. All the wealth, power, influence in the world. And no friends.
@Muhammad HarDick exactly what was described in the video. Unintentional hostility by others perceiving Emma to be too productive, too much of a go-getter, or makes others perceive they are lesser even though she is not malicious. Human beings are social creatures by nature, and thus we really do need friends to make meaningful connections with, otherwise we suffer.
At least Marcus can get laid whenever he wants... plus when you're on top your friends may be jealous and become potential enemies who will eventually backstab you.
People are so insecure and envious, that’s why they hate Emma. I personally think Emma is cool you should always strive for the best version of yourself.
I like how your positive genuine message has five likes and people reveling in being "human" (aka an excuse for failing at being a unique individual) have hundreds. How jealous
Lord Michael exactly, I also try to always strive to be the best version of myself and improve and think positively. In a way, I can really relate to Emma, I also feel like a lot of people don’t like me even if I just try to help people and spread love people still hate me. But ofc I’m not gonna let people let me down as it would only hold me back from improving further.
@@lordmichael7136 Emma is not a "unique individual", actually quite the opposite, she's the most stereotypical image you could possibly paint of a human being. Emma is so predictable and therefore boring that no one seems to appreciate her, which would also be the case irl.
@@StefV153 I'll give you a better steriotype. There is a guy, Jeff. He's ambitious, and wants to move up in his company. He cuts others down to do so, making friends only to drop them when convenient. He then gets to the top, and realizes he's an empty shell. Insert different jobs and you have many people. Joe is in the rat race. He works a job that doesn't pay well, that he hates, keeping up a smile so he can keep the job. He gets home, smokes some pot, and drinks with his friends to get through the day.
Personally I would love to surround myself around people like Emma. I want to be around people who inspire me to push myself into a better person. We as humans are capable of amazing things and Emma sounds like a person that we need more in this world. They’re the people who win in the end. They’re the happiest and content with life. I want to be around people who do things to self improve and shows traits of humbleness and positivity
This video's content reminds me of one of Dostevsky's literature. In one of his literature, he describes a person who wants to be 'perfectly rational' and believes in Rationalism, but he wrote that it's impossible for humans, and it's not a good ideal to pursue.
@Kitten Katt That is an appeal to nature logical fallacy. He clearly didn't actually study propositional logic and didn't understand what it means to reason.
So he argued the case that it is rational to not use rationalism. There's no getting around it. By merely arguing a case at all, you automatically concede that reasoning is valuable, because if you really didn't believe it, then you wouldn't be making arguments against it.
I've encountered people who have a few of the same characteristics as Emma. The ones who are always smiling--I find them off-putting because they're completely unrelatable. If you share something you're upset about, they either want to shove ways to fix it down your throat (or that's the way it feels), or they dismiss it. "Well, it's okay now." "It'll be ok!" "Life is still good!" Like, dude, just...RELATE to the fact that life is messy sometimes. I don't want to tell you I'm mad about X and you just smile and basically tell me not to be mad because life is good. No, it's not always good... And it's important to not negate the existence of negative forces in our lives.
Thing is, Emma is no a human being. Emma is just a perfection-robot with no legitimate personality. Even if she means the kind things she does and says, it all seems so...manufactured. I think it would be exhausting to be Emma, and this coming from a perfectionist, by the way.
In my opinion, it would be really interesting to listen a reflection like this about a person that's opposite to Emma. I think it will help me understand myself better, and why I'm on the opposite and equally self destructive end of the spectrum.
This reminds me of something I’ve learned throughout human relationships and stuff and it’s that humans connect to each other through there flaws and pain, when you see someone that’s perfect and your life isn’t nearly as good you can’t relate to that person at all, or feel a connection towards them, instead you subconsciously create a shield against because it feels as though they’re taunting you with there wellbeing without even trying. It’s just a thing of like the feeling that we all know we aren’t perfect let’s us accept each other for our flaws and we accept people with there imperfections because we have our own.
People have such different viewpoints regarding Emma, it's amazing! Let us make one thing clear though. Emma is a robot. Not physically of course, but mentally? Yes. All that she knows, from her diet to even mere conversational skills, are all a product of someone else. Nothing that she does is a product of her mind, her own impulses. She does everything like a robot; with responses based on research and information that has been fed into her mind. Not emotions, even during simple conversations. Many people are wanting to be her friend and that's great, but I would never be able to be friends with someone who has no emotions and no empathy. I want my friends to be empathetic and real. All of us go through bad phases in life, and although everyone's way of dealing with problems is different, I would not want to be greeted with an optimistic quote or a motivational speech at every problem. I would not want to be told motivational stuff if my father has died and I'm grieving. No. I would just want a shoulder to cry on. But Emma, a person whose only emotions are "happy" would not be able to help me and that's sad, because she sounds like a very motivated and nice individual. She just lacks emotion; the thing that makes us human. This is just my opinion btw!
Completely agree with you! It honestly feels like someone programmed her entire physical and mental being - conversing, activities, food and drink intake, emotional behavior.. It just doesn't come off as "human". *Nobody* can be perfect, but everything about her here IS perfect. She. is. a. robot. It doesn't feel genuine or real (i.e. she isn"t human)
@LiL Speng I never said that she is less than me. Also isn't it ironic that you're claiming that I think of her as beneath me while saying that she is superior to us, which is not true? Human value cannot be measured as all humans are born equal. Furthermore, no it does not make her comparable to Jesus. Jesus was, as far as I know, the son of God and could perform miracles and spent his life spreading the word of God, something which was different from what others were doing at that time. This girl is just a human whose thoughts are manufactured products and one who has never had a single original opinion in her life. Just a vessel who regurgitates the thoughts of others. She is a follower, not a leader like Jesus who led people to believe in God.
Nailed it. Emma’s fake. When I told the one decent family member I thought I had about some childhood abuse that we both experienced he asked me if I knew Michelangelo was gay and told me I should go help abuse victims. Really I just wanted him to hear me and pick up on how he was also affected by that, but he’s so far-gone in denial and superiority he tried to make me “feel better” bringing up what he secretly (until then) saw as my flaw- out of the total blue and with no relevance (at least in that context) to what I’d said. He moved to Hawaii as soon as he graduated college and has never lived on the mainland again. He ran, so I thought he understood. Thought wrong. He ran because he ran from understanding. Told him “I’m trying to help someone who was an abused kid right now but you’re not meeting me halfway, cuz”. We don’t talk anymore because it turns out he and my other two cousins sat idly by while their mother stole the one income-producing asset our father left my brother and me for her grandchildren (my second cousins, two of whom are his daughters). Suing now to get something back which partners us to “family“ colder and less trustworthy than the mafia. And if Emma were a guy she would remind me EXACTLY of the treacherous and betraying little half-brother I get to do that with. He’s a college professor who forges his own reviews on rate my professor.com because the real ones students turn in call him a bully who insists questions be asked during office hours and say that they are afraid to be alone in a room with him . He did get a 4.0 in his PhD program which - like where he teaches - was not at a competitive school. He “didn’t test well“ growing up, but is an academic lol. On the other hand all three times I got the highest grade in any class for the year at an academically very challenging school our father said nothing. Two weeks after I lost the last spelling bee I ever entered I also realized Dad was the only person who didn’t ask me what word struck me out. I only even realized it was a big deal for me to lose one because the entire auditorium gasped. Dad favored him in his will and he knew about it from the beginning. I know this because it was Dad‘s accountant who had to tell him it was a bad idea to declare Dad non compos mentis because that would invalidate the will he’d just executed that favored him. So they deserved one another (accountant too) and true to form when Dad died brother had his will in his hand- making sure he was still favored no doubt, and split before Dad drew his last breath. So I have some clue now as to why I didn’t enter another spelling bee and why my brother felt the need to try and steal my identity. Even though Dad never mentioned any of my accomplishments to me he clearly must’ve mentioned them to my brother. A few years before he died one of the last times I spoke to him before I went to see him on his deathbed he asked me when I’d ever had a winning streak LOL That wasn’t all the nasty shit he said that night either. So my own Dad was envious. When he died I thought well if he’s free of his body hopefully now he’s also free of his pain. Now four years later I could give a fuck about his pain and hope he hurt at least as bad as he stunk. With regard to my half brother, when a psychopath or narcissist Single White Females you you just gotta let them think they took it and try to get a kick out of watching them do your thing all wrong. The Emmas of the world project fictitious superiority by incessantly imposing and maintaining their own fictitious standard and making everything a contest - - a contest they have to win and are too devoid of integrity to resist gloating to the person they’ve just prevailed over by cheating. Nobody cares about it but them and if you try to engage with them they move the goalpost because they have to win shit that wasn’t even a contest. Their disordered personalities are entirely externalized beecause they do not generate any of their own self-worth. Feel sorry for someone like that at your own peril.
This. I've known people from high school that made me think some people are NPCs (AI / Bot). Everything in their life is so calculated and "perfect" to the point that they become obsessed with themselves and their acceptance in society, they try to study social things in their rooms, on internet... not even knowing that the actual reality is in the streets, interacting with imperfect human beings, learning about psychology, sociology, emotions, relations, nature... all in all, they try to be the perfect human - and they end up being inhuman.
It’s hard to hangout and let loose with someone with a tight schedule and routine. You’d feel you’re getting in the way or you don’t feel proper enough to be her friend.
It also will more or less result in a burn-out. Can 100% confirm this. Perfection doesn't exist. Perfection isn't what we should seek. It's balance that we need.
@@Teddylandclub I thought the same, but maybe since she has set times to meditate, have fun, etc maybe it works out for her. Still sounds exhausting since even her fun time is scheduled, but idk.
@@limeylemon1685 I usually don't talk about this in public, but since you mentioned it, I might just do it now: So, I am working with hermeticism (if that topic rings a bell to you) and work with the metaphysical system of Franz Bardon. Ironically, my schedule was (when I first started) similar to that of Emma (being highly productive in my job, very attentive about everything, even smallest changes in environment, trying to be perfect in almost anything, etc), yes I even had set times for meditation and fun/free time as well. But the strict way of keeping to such a big schedule will sooner or later let you burn-out. Although I did many meditation exercises and even had free time, I realized that it just was too much and then one day it just hit me all at once. The biological body and the psyche has a limit. We're not gods, we're just men, imprisoned in flesh. And even incorporating meditation times here and there in such a highly productive schedule won't let your body rest enough to be fit again. That's where I realized that it's balance that we should seek, not perfection. And ironically this is what hermeticism was all about ("balance") without me dummy realizing it at the beginning.
I think overall it is not because she is "perfect" but because she is just a collection of generic attitudes and routines and has no real character to call her own. People who take self improvement to the max often push it to the forefront and lose the complexities and nuances that make someone interesting.
@@billhicks8 Very well stated! I personally think that we shouldn't seek perfectionism, but instead balance. Additionally, perfection is a goal that is unreachable anyways (as we've seen with Emma), because let's be realistic, if anyone were to be like Emma (even doing the unnecessary counting of how long you brush your teeth or searching for the "perfect pillow") like being highly productive all the time, one sooner or later would have a serious burn-out. The human body needs a time out as well and being like Emma would be (which is quite ironic, thus another paradox of perfectionism) extremely unhealthy for the psyche and the body over a long period of time.
Like they are all bums having no real hobbies and doing nothing with their life, thats why they all run away from her, cuz shes like a butterfly and they are like, idk, snails or some shit
The only time you'll achieve perfection is when you're dead. There are no flaws in death, it's 100% guaranteed. Otherwise, life should never be perfect, it is the flaws, the imperfections, the struggle to solve problems, that gives life its meaning
This sounds exactly what I try to be... I'm constantly working towards improvement for good quality of life but now this makes me feel like there's something horribly wrong with me. Is the price of perfection really worth loneliness?
All we can do is live our best lives and not be controlled by jealousy. We can control ourselves but we cannot control others. And finally, what another person thinks of me is none of my business.
There's nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself and your life. Don't take this video too seriously. Actually, if Emma was truly perfect, she would also allow herself to be vulnerable in front of people sometimes - and ironically, if she was vulnerable, people would probably like her. Have you seen the Brene Brown TED talk?
This is a good reminder that you should strive for the best “you” you can be, but also that you’re imperfections are what make you unique and interesting. Enjoy life while you have it and make an impact in your own self.
I know people like her. I can't say I dislike her, far from it, but there's something non human about her. People connect most through shared vulnerability, because on the grand scale we're all vulnerable. Emma is the perfect modern human indeed, but that doesn't make her perfect - it is just the type of person who knows what and how to say all the time, no matter the situation, but she lacks the salt and pepper needed to truly get close to people.
I'm in a same situation as emma.. But I'm a student xD. I have been on self improvement since 2-3 years and eliminated almost all the imperfect things in my life. The only thing I do is mix up my routines just to have fun. I realized this long ago that being perfect didn't give me the satisfaction, I should have got. So, sometimes I prefer perfection, sometimes imperfection and embrace it. This way I balance the stuff out.
Everything is a creation of the depth of an individual’s conscious. These videos are the corners of our minds we express through others to ourselves. As well as action and reaction through ourselves to others, we are beings meant to communicate and express. Great to see we’re still trying hard
i’m an emma, after a near death experience i realized that the one thing i regretted the most on my deathbed was how i wished that i was a better person for those around me. obviously she took it too far by not allowing herself to experience her own emotions but other then that i genuinely look up to emma and i am so grateful for all of the emma’s i have in my life
“A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.”― Sure she may be a bit too giddy, but her heart is in the right place. As for the majority of the masses around her - they have a poisonous personality plagued with inferiority complexes and fail to just be happy for Emma. I mean she LITERALLY gave her promotions to others! At least those people should be grateful. So in conclusion, Emma could definitely tone down her flamboyancy so it doesn't harm her. But the REAL problem here are the egomaniac low-vibration HUMANS in general who need a SWIFT kick up the arse mate! YAH! Also, all these thirsty sheeple love celebrities and social media influencers, who mostly spend their lives taking their own photos, exploiting others, having self-absorbed rituals; and somehow THIS is acceptable and in fact, looked up to, in society? pffft. I say EMMA is the real deal here. Girl just needs some acclimatization to this current civilization, and she will be able to adjust her enthusiasm to a balanced level. OK. I am DONE!
While I understand the message of not worrying about perfection and the inevitability of imperfections, I don't think you could blame Emma for anything, she's just doing her best here. Though I also understand the people around her. As a straight A student myself, I could never get the needless annoyance and hate until I met another person who was better than me. In our own arrogance, we learn to despise anything that would remind us of our flaws and return us to humility. Once we see that our qualities are just a drop in the sea of greatness, our drop becomes much more salty :D
It pains me to admit that i have a similar life, except the routine, i can't stand routine. I crave for the best and the best only, so sadly i have almost no one around me, i know a lot of people and by the nature of my work i sometimes see myself surrounded by people, but they are always "distant", i have no longer friends in life, except for one. And to be honest, i don't care if i end up alone, i don't like small talk and i don't like shallow people, if the conversation isn't helping any of the parts involved, i rather be alone, i appreciate being alone even though i used to be an extrovert and to be the "entertainer" of everyone and make everybody happy and smile a lot, but since i noticed that i did that to everyone and nobody was there for me, i started to live on my own and have distanced myself from everyone. I'm a Coach and i use Psychology to help people, those who listen to my advice undoubtedly advance in life, achieve anything they really want, doesn't matter if it's about "things" or "people", they always get what they want, i know i'm good in helping people because i understand people, i'm 33yo and i dedicated my life to understand why and how we do what we do, but i guess i fell in the same trap the girl of the video did, i wanted to be so good, so perfect, that nobody around me can keep on my pace, and since i don't have a regular job, i managed to improve everything i do in life to a level only few could match, i play guitar, i sing, i speak several languages and english is no my mother tongue, i read a book every week and i aim to improve even if i "think" that there's ins't room for improvement. Life hasn't been kind to me, so i guess i became a control freak of my own life.
@@ontolog5871 Tbh i don't know mate, i don't watch tv, news or anything that doesn't make me think, i used to be a extrovert so even though i can be shy, i can also entertain lots of people when i'm in the mood, also, i work teaching people how to speak in front of crowds, how to achieve things in life, like cars, houses, enterprises and so on, relationships, and i know i'm very good at it, every single one i helped got a comfortable life or became rich, but my life is a mess because i'm too lazy, i get only the things i really need in life, the only expensive things i own is my PC, and my car, but my car is only expensive by my standards. Never look into those kind of behavior traits, at least not on me...
@@fondelll Thanks man, i really appreciate. Anything and everything that burns the neurons hahaha, especially "impossible" things like Quantum mechanichs and so on, i think life is too boring if there isn't any other life forms yet, i mean in the sense of, soone or later there will be another sentient species (if we're the first) But if there are some other races out there, even if they are hostile, i wish i could meet them before i die. The subject i love the most, is Psychology, i have read books os psychology since i was 14 or so, the best insights about our mind came from those. And when the matter is fiction, two of the best books i ever read: 1984 from George Orwell and Brave new world, from Aldous Huxley, i used to laugh of those people who usually say we're heading towards this kind of utopia, but each day we pass, i think we are drawing closer to something similar.
Hey! Same here! I mean, your life sounds so much more impressive than mine lol I only speak 2 languages. But totally agree, hanging out with people and just do small talks, or not spending QUALITY time is more boring to me than staying home alone. I believe as long as you don’t feel miserable about your own life style then it’s all good.
Yeah, many times when you see someone who has all that shit figured out, they also have a fun social life too, and actually seem to enjoy their life. This particular situation in the video however, sounds unique to Emma, and personalities like her, who seem to have trouble connecting with others.
I know some people like Emma. Sure those kinds of people attract other people but in certain time and certain productivity level, not "i'll be there whenever you need me" type of friend. In my case, I'd like to connect with "Emma" in my most productive and go-getter time, but when I feel so unmotivated and sluggish I can't manage myself to reconnect with her. I feel so inadequate, so I will avoid Emma in certain time.
I knew 2 people like this in my life, and I always felt bad about the way I felt about them. They were such sweet humans, but something about them made them so irritating, which I could never understand, because in theory they should be adored by all. Now, Im feeling bad again.
When people are asked what 's the most precious thing there is, they might say it's diamonds, or something very expensive and rare. But if you think about it, it doesn't make those things perfect, worth in fact, isn't what decides how useful or good a thing is. Worth is the combination of how much value we give to an object, and its actual usefulness. Diamonds might be very rare, and posesses very impressive qualities for a material and for its beauty, however has litte practicality, yet we would probably identify it with perfection and think by default that it's the most precious thing one can have. But a diamond can't adapt or change, a diamond is just a rock, a beatiful shiny rock. You can expect it to turn to dust like every other rock over a really long time. The most precious thing we have is our own life, so is what lets us live, so is water. Water is everywhere. In the ground, in the sky, in the sea, in... us. Water gives life to our planet, so it's one of the most precious things we have. Water doesn't turn to dust, water evaporates, and comes down as rain. "When you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup, when you put water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle" it's the very definition of adaptability. So be like water my friend :)
Dennis wakes up when his body tells him to. Dennis promptly makes a cup of coffee and loads a bowl of sticky green bud. Dennis has a sip of coffee and proceeds to wake and bake. Dennis sits and watches RUclips videos for as much time as his cell phone battery will allow.
I don't. I rather be Emma than the actual me. I mean, we all actually hate her just because she shows exactly what we wanna (and MAYBE could) be if we try really hard for it. But it's easier to just keep things as they are, pretending that she is the wrong one for actually doing things right in life
Pruthvi creative art that’s an awful way to live life if you ask me. Striving to be the best version of yourself is fine, but when you’re actively trying to be perfect and trying to spread that to other people who aren’t willing to listen, and then dismiss there aggression as them failing to be “more like you” all it is at that point is self righteousness. And honestly if you ask me, someone like Emma can’t even exist. flaws are a part of being human, in fact imperfections is a part of the thrill of life, like the drop off right before the massive hill on a roller coaster. So if you strive to be perfect, you’re essentially casting away what makes you human. If everything in your life was perfect all the time, perfect amount of satisfaction, health, and self care and love, then what’s the point? The events in your life would be a flat line, Stagnant and never changing. That’s not life, and living like Emma isn’t living, it’s purging yourself of humanity
The last part of the video is so accurate, even just you talking about her the whole time I was thinking that she would be generally just unpleasant or uncomfortable to be around for a reason that is not entirely clear.
“After all, Emma knows that variety is the spice of life“. LOL luvvit. Refined mirroring and conversational techniques creep people out because they are contrived and fake like Emma, who most likely was the golden child of at least one narcissistic parent who “loved“ her conditionally as long as she delivered their idea of perfection. Emma makes sure she gets plenty of mileage out of every good deed but doesn’t have a loyal or selfless bone in her body. Emma’s a machine.
Basically, if your extremely amazing at everything, you will also be amazingly lonely, because people won't approach you for fear that they'll seem less compared to you.
After watching the first minute of this vid I’m going to make a prediction , Emma is a control freak who has no real friends . Yes I could be way off but I once knew a girl that may have some relevance here, she was Friendly, physically active and good in any social situation, the trouble was that she was too ‘perfect’ and it felt ‘wrong’ or ‘false’ , we were all pleasant to her but she never had true friends. Saying this outloud has made me realise my own ‘faults’ she deserved from me the truth about what I and others thought about her, she had always been nothing but kind and helpful to me BUT I now feel ashamed and guilty cos by not being straight with her denied her a chance to rectify her problems , that chance being to dump us all for being arseholes and get herself some Real Friends. Dawn I am truly sorry for being such a prick , I hope you did find that one lucky , special person to share yr life with . Back to this vid and I truly hope I got it wrong about Emma . Take Care All . R .
A story from a person who lives (almost but not as extreme) as this woman. The truth of this is, it is lonely at the top because it is also impossible to tolerate people who live like all of her co workers. Unlike this story I have been lucky enough to find hard working and hugely successful friends who are also like this woman (and myself) and we connect on a better level than I can with any other human being. People around us are so wasteful of their lives, they scroll, they get angry for no reason, they say horrible things about the people they meet throughout their day and then get angry at me because I’ve managed to get through my to do list with ease and they haven’t. As it says in the conclusion of this video, it isn’t her that is the problem, it is the fact everyone hates her for having her shit together while they work their life away with their harsh chemicals and bad food and copious amounts of stress. What she has is a stress free work life. Because we do what we need to do between the hours of 9-5 we get all evening to spend our time reading amazing books, having great sex, painting, creating gifts rather than buying gifts (one of my favourites) and so on! Never ever let other people’s projections of their own failures stop you from organising your life in a way that connects mind body and soul! P.s we still feel a full range of emotions from crying to excitement I’m not sure why this video assumes she is a robot 😂
We like to see our own vulnerabilities reflected in others. It can can trigger our sense of empathy. Without empathy, others won't be as easily relatable to us.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
Reminds me of this roman myth about a girl who was made so beatiful that nobody approached her, because they felt like they weren't good enough for her
Yea bro it’s sucks, I know
So relatable
Yes but in this story people are not shy, they're hateful. This is bullshit
@@valentinbonnarde9345 That's the tricky part of life. People are weird
@@valentinbonnarde9345 Quite understandable though. Emma should've at least tried to look at things from *their* perspective, not only from hers, but she couldn't. (that's what the bubble around her head represents) She tried so much to impose her own ideas and perspective on others without even realizing how much it actually might hurt other people. In the end, Emma realized that perfectionism doesn't exist, it's a myth, but ends up repeating the mistake, trying to be even more productive, seeing this as another opportunity instead of realizing that sometimes you just need to leave people alone and do what they think is right for them, even if you're right that their decision will make it only worse for them. It's about adapting to a situation, and this might even require to act dumber than you are. That being said, perfectionists also tend to get a burn-out much sooner than others (can personally confirm this) and it's not great at all. The human body isn't made for being highly productive all the time. It's not perfectionism that we should seek. It's balance that we need.
“He who knows all the answers has not been asked all the questions.”
― Confucius
You don't have to know everything to have the answers to all things --- me 😊
@@jeffxanders3990 nobody can have answer to all things. The more you know, the more you don't
@@zaynawan1835 what if you know that no matter how much you think know .... You actually don't know anything ....
@@parthasarathyvenkatadri but admitting that u don't know anything isn't answer to everything. It's rather the exact opposite
This girl does not pretend to know all the answers, although she's doing a good job at trying. It's better than what most people do
This feels like you're describing everything that my life isn't
Lucina Main big mood
Mood
r/PursuitPfWonder
4k HDR r/Ihavereddit
You have an ahegao pfp, not much was ever expected of you
Friends aren't everything, you know, one can have few friends and be more happy than another with hundreds.
True but Emma had none
I have lived this life before. From making sure my room was in perfect order, to having every hour of my day dedicated to something like, working out, learning a language, meditating, reading, stretching, grounding, sleeping on a mat, drinking only purified water, cooking all organic food, being involved in my community, taking cold showers, etc etc. This all started with the goal of "turning my life around" and as it did make me a physically healthier person, nothing more was being accomplished after that. After that it was only a daily distraction, telling myself "I am doing good." After each task was over. But good towards what? It's like sharpening your sword everyday but never going to battle. Real growth comes from real experiences, usually through pain. Find your purpose, commit, battle, lose, learn, and win.
I am living the life rn , the difference ? I kick people out of my life who hates me and I don't smile often
you forgot that the shower is ice cold
HA HA
Ah of course, right after she religiously does the Wim Hoff method before her run. Only showering for the absolute 2 and a half minutes she gives herself, to not waste any water that it.
lol
Cornij van den Bogaard hahaha
Haha... The RUclipsr is a human; humans make mistakes. 😜
This video was actually sponsored by Emma
✌🏻🤣
XD
Emma's running an MLM scheme
Lollllll
😂😂😂
the way her life is so perfect scares me, but also makes me want to know her more because it might be interesting to have a friend like that
I lived a similar life to her. My boyfriend is uncomfortable with enjoying things around be in fear it’s not good enough for me and other girls seem to just dislike me without ever talking. All I do is smile and try to be helpful, I just want to make sure everyone is okay, that’s all.
Right now, I just gave up on everything... no more morning walks, no more skin care before bedtime, no more routines...
I feel like everyone is intimidated and feel judged around me, when really, I just want the best for everyone and any connection is good enough for me.
And about having a friend like that... I had a friend when no one else would be my friend. She too was interested in me for what I do... but to me, I just felt like a science experiment that she could learn from and mimic
Emma is a person who tries to artificialy make happyness. Thats not the ideal way to live life.
You either:
1.Get bores hearing what she routinely doing everyday, cause you disregard what she like.
2. Feel uncomfortable because she have perfected everything she do and not many people is like her.
3. Jealous of her because she have accomplished most of the things in life.
4. Sympathize with her cause she perfected all of this but have no friends.
I was like this as well. I mean, pretty much through highschool I was missing social cues, but in college it changed. I realised I didn't have friends, and that I could actually focus on being a better person. I then realised not everything I did every day was useful, and started focusing more on the things that seemed to objectively make a positive difference in my life and less on the things that did not.
I stopped offering my opinion without being asked, and I am asked my opinion pretty frequently because I do post about what I've learned to social media (which I also joined in college). I really enjoy new experiences as well, and people love trying random stuff with friends, so I made tons of friends!
I was told about two years ago that I'm very intimidating by a friend of mine who... Well I won't say what he does but it's extremely intimidating, and it surprised me so much that I put out a poll on social media. It turns out that most of my friends agree. I hadn't realised this and it made some interactions I've had make more sense. I realise people take me more seriously than I take myself. This was a big breakthrough.
Importantly, they said that, yes, I am intimidating because I both know and do so many things, but that still a good friend and a good person, and "really down to earth" especially when compared to my friends who are similar.
I think the big thing is being more empathetic than the character in this story. If I did something that made people close a door so they didn't have to interact with me, I would not do it anymore.
I work in tech and get a lot of exactly what you would expect for a BIPOC lady in my field, not everyone likes me, but a surprising amount of people do. I love and appreciate having friends because I spent so much of my life without any.
Tl:dr If anyone feels like they have to stop being a perfectionist to have friends, I just want to say I don't think you do. You can find out what people don't like and work to fix that just like you can find an optimal sleep schedule or study time. If you want friends it's because you genuinely like people, and it seems like that helps dramatically.
You don't have to give up on what makes you happy.
You know, the thing I find most interesting is the fact that we find that Emma is "perfect" but in reality only her routine is perfect. This says nothing about her home life, her personality, or internal motivations. I see some comments saying that Emma is boring, or some comments that say it would be nice to have a friend like Emma because of her lifestyle, and so on, but this is all only based on her routine. What if her routine is so strict because of a mental health condition? Or what if Emma is so self motivated because she's experienced extreme tragedy in her life? You just don't know and really, the thing that's most interesting about this video is its implied ambiguity and vagueness. We don't know Emma, nor do the people in her story. It seems to me like no one is even interested in asking, we just assume her entire internal life and personality based on what she does. But the 'seemingly lack' of external flaws in her routine shouldn't determine whether or not shes actually human or interesting. And the conclusion jumping that the people in her story make about her, is actually also happening in real life in the comments, which makes me question that maybe this video about Emma, isn't actually about Emma...
I want to point out that the story repeatedly points out that Emma is genuine in her interactions and what she's does comes from a willingness to help for the other person's sake not her own. With the information we are given there is no reason to suspect trauma or overcompensation. Although it's is hard to believe that a person would push themselves this hard without a strong emotional reason
Sounds familiar keep having this conversation. Pleas
Ok great comment mister “know it all” . Know you’ve become Emma because im jealous i couldn’t come up with that analysis. Im ,of course, kidding but yes thats a very interesting point. I guess this proves just how insecure we are as a human species and how quickly we tend to judge people without having any ounce of empathetic sentiment to consider what might be going on in their private life. That certainly didnt cross my mind, and just came to the conclusion that i do not like Emma nor would want to be around Emma. I have to reconsider my self now and strive to be a better person just like Emma.
Hi, i’d like to make out with your mind please? YES i was thinking exactly that how we don’t know the type of people around her plus they said from her work. Being disliked doesn’t necessarily mean there is something flawed in her. It feels like the majority of the comments felt similar to what those people did, could it be that they want to re council Themselves as they have established things we aim to achieve and fail to do so?
DEEEEEEEEEP
No one:
Aesthetic RUclipsrs daily schedule:
HHAHAHAHAHA
My Career is lazing around my bedroom
😂
plot twist: emma lives a separate secret life as a serial killer
Dexter?
Yoshikage kira?
@@sacratul My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
America Psycho
Maybe that what makes her so happy
Deep down we all know that no one likes Emma because she doesn't wear deodorant.
literally though
Zaphod Bebblebrox DAMN RIGHT!
best comment :))))))
Lolll I met one chick, beautiful girl, didn’t believe in deodorant whatever that means, and the BO was immense.
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
"Emma reminds herself that adversity is just an opportunity for improvement"
But how can you improve _"perfection"_ ?
Bingo. You got the message. The most seek perfection, while we actually need balance. And people often confuse self-improvement with perfection, an horrible mistake which would also end up in a burn-out realistically sooner or later.
Am I the only one who thinks that her perfectionism is itself a flaw - and that it's okay, because everyone else is flawed, too?
Ruby321123 yeah that’s the whole point of the video. Even by being perfect, she is still flawed
Emma says that to herself because she does not believe she is perfect, nor is anyone else. That's what perfectionism is to me, always reaching for better but never really getting there.
@@Teddylandclub Then we strive for _perfect_ balance. In other words perfection. Perfection is by definition desirable. If Emma wants to be liked by others, but isn't, then she is flawed and thus not perfect.
That said, since perfection can't be achieved in reality, you're right in that focusing on improvement instead is much more effective.
But it seems like she’s not feeling anything or living life she’s just there
she doesn’t let her emotions show to always please others. she does things but seems so blind
My worry is those feelings are in her though and she's very good a suppression. She's cocooned very deeply in her armor of joy. This is a very interesting video.
Don't comfort yourself, she's happy volunteering and achieving her goals. Being accepted by others isn't the only source of happiness. :)
Chloe Lim Sun Jin yes she’s happy volunteering but nobody is happy all the time like this. it isn’t even good for you
Chloe Lim Sun Jin clearly others aren’t the only source of happiness but she needs to realize that too as she is simply living to please others. meaning she will never do anything crazy that helps her feel better herself, she will stay in the same rituals and routines until she rots and isn’t that a bit of a boring way to go? she never steps out of line and also never seems to feel anything.
watching this, my impression of Emma is that she is neuro-atypical. someone who has taken a ton of effort to learn the "best way" through society. nothing comes naturally
And she suffers the curse of neuroatypicals as well, which is, nobody understanding you
I know a girl like this. She’s religious, has routines, always upbeat, smiling, cheerful, but no one really likes her like that.
I feel sorry for them, instead of hers
Is she attractive?
Young Dab-A-Roosa Haha not my type but yeah
Yup same
@@jonah4422 send her this vid pls
Literally every RUclipsr’s morning routine-
lmaooo
This made me more exhausted.. lol
You think youtubers cook breakfast at homeless shelters?
At least she doesn't brag about it
Except this one
Solution for Emma's dilemma: Surround herself with those who have the same goal or people like her.
Surround herself with those who "have" not has the same goal or a person like her.
@@cursedtodie Ahh. Perfection.
yup. i mean if u work in a cubicle office like emma, there are only going to be average people. shes obviously better then average. so she needs to be with people better then average. rare yes, but their there.
u cant work in a place filled with losers, while not being a loser. itll make u stick out af
This is actually a good solution. Emma wouldn’t be the odd one out but rather she would be in a community of like-minded people who would appreciate her for who she is instead of others thinking of Emma as being someone they are not
That’s the problem tho. In the story she doesn’t really have a goal. She just “improves” general aspects of her life for the sake of improving them. That’s literally her whole thing
When you said nobody goes to Emma’s get togethers, my heart breaks for her. She is trying her absolutely best, and yet, nobody can put their ego down long enough to appreciate it.
right!!! shes not even a real person but i was like noooo i wanna hang out with you!!!
The only “miserable” part of this is how everyone else reacts to her. She’s fine. I guess she Could be a bit less overbearing if she notices how others react to her, but literally she’s fine lol
yes she's fine, but that doesn't change the fact that others will still despise her. it's a sad truth that being extremely successful will make others feel insecure, jealous, and hateful.
she is a good person... sort of.. but would you want to be with her?
i wouldn't, i can't imagine waking up at 5 every god dam day to do exactly the same shit over and over and over, never something you don't expect never a joke thats just to harsh...
i would be extremely depressed if i had to live that way.
@@colinvandam5306 Personally, I would - depending on HOW (pretend thats italics not caps) she does thought things. Is she truly sharing wisdom and pointing out flaws and seeking ways to help, or is she reciting the things she hears online? The former I would love to be around, the latter - not so much
Colin van Dam Thats your perspective. But yes some people are willingly to dedicate themselves to a schedule and stick with it. Her motivation, intelligence and willpower is very high if she can speak so many languages, play so many instruments, stay highly productive while working for your community, she is completely unrelatable.
Exactly what I thought.
*My girlfriend's name is Emma.* 🙍🏼♀️ She's an overachiever just like this Emma except she's not also secretly murdering people while they sleep. Which is what I'm assuming this Emma also does.
Hold up, what?
But why would she do it?😂
Hope your girlfriend reads this💗💗
Ayt Emma head out...
Huh. What’s the odds of a psychopath reading about a psychopath. How does she kill while sleeping though? Ohhh while THEY sleep. Sorry.
Sounds like when Squidward goes to that resort full of other Squidwards.
Yeah
LOL
Dude I laughed so hard at this
True...
omg
I can feel what Emma's "friend" feels since I've met one (not as perfect as her of course). Socializing with a person like Emma didn't create any emotional bonding at all. It's like having a conversation with an overwhelmingly positive and helpful robot. When these things happen all the time, it becomes annoying.
There needs to be shared suffering to feel connected more than sharing hapiness. I compare it to noble gasses like helium or neon that don't interact with other elements because they already have a full electron shell. Also, the magic of life happens in unforeseen circumstances, when we plan out everything we eliminate the element of surprise... for example romantic love is mostly found in this spontaneous approach to life
@@serseriherif9530 wow that comparison to noble gases is the most beautiful metaphor i've seen in a while :o
I've always been one of the best students in my class academically....and I used to wonder why I don't have friends. With time, I realised that being at the top is very lonely. So now I try to actively engage with people with my flaws and general humanly things, and while chatting I actively try to deviate topics from studies. I never lie...but try to avoid it all together. Even with my best friend, I try to stay away from academics... because people get jealous. And there's nothing I can do about it. I get jealous too sometimes... wishing I was prettier or more disciplined or less lazy or more healthy. But it has surely given me a new perspective in life, and now I try to talk to lonely people more... because I've been there. And most of the times, one gets to know about very different things...very confusing and refreshing at the same times. Because these people, being minority, don't really get to say a lot. And being an introvert doesn't help too. If you're different, world just doesn't treat you well. And honestly in my case only one thing is different... imagine being perfect.... already sounds like bad days.
Try talking to someone you think is weird or someone like Emma ( as long as they are not fake) , you'll certainly get to know something different in life.
honestly, I am the same. I'm glad I'm not the only one and I am glad you're working on being "less perfect, more human" and so I am now working on it too.
@Star trust me... things aren't sk perfect on my side too. I had to take a gap year because I couldn't get into the med school I wanted when everyone around me went to college.
Only yesterday, I gave this big nation wide test. I've done pretty well and I'm waiting for the results. But that one year was tough...to see everyone just moving on with life especially when you've been at the top of the class. The fear that...what if I'm not good at the only thing I was good at... The night before exam..I woke up thrice, shouted in the sleep. It was shocking because I've never had exam anxiety and I'm a deep sleeper. But this time I realised.
But I also felt so vulnerable. What if my exam hadn't gone well? I would have been shattered. It made me realise how bad this can be for me, to be honest I don't know what to do about it. Should I become better at other things? But what if I attach my identity to it...then what happens. I know I'm a people pleaser ...the reason I study is because I don't want to disappoint my parents or further lower my self esteem. Honestly, I don't even know what to do...like I get into college and then what...
Obviously I'm happy that I'm getting the opportunity to get educated and I'm grateful for it. But sometimes I really question it....but then I get scared because I don't wanna the lose the only thing that I have to keep myself from falling apart and losing my self worth.
Don't be a people pleaser! Be yourself and love yourself for the uniqueness that you are. The right people will notice this and will naturally gravitate toward you and want to be around you. Those are your real peeps! ;)
@@Joy-sl4kq what the fuck I will get by becoming human because if you start spending these people you're eventually going to depend on other people for your happiness & if it depends on other you can't be independent & will be slave of society , people, friends & family , the amount of peace non attachment gives cannot be matched by any kind of happiness in this world
The empty smile on her face at 8:37 really breaks my heart, it's like she's really crying with that smile...
Oh my god. You're right. The more I look at her smile, the more dishonest it looks.. She literally has no soul, sincerity or any emotion at all behind that smiling face. That's the kind of person I would want to avoid. Empty, bleak, soulless eyes.
@@huvothoughts No, it means she's actually sad inside lol chill
It literally says it's a genuine smile🤦
😳
Emma sounds like a great person to be friends with, as long as you understand that she is authentic and not narcissistic. The video describes her as authentic, but I think many people with her outward characteristics would be narcissistic.
Boom - I'm guilty of putting people off by my cheerful mood and can-do mindset. One friend told me before he knew me, he thought I was just being a covert asshole to people because nobody could be in a good mood that often.
He said that the only other person that upbeat that often was a fictional character from Parks and Rec.
Then he got to know me and realized it is genuine.
That’s true. I feel as if I would be friends with her if she genuinely came off as authentic and meaning every word she said- but not cheerful to the point of delirium.
She is described as someone with no empathy, and also somewhat unauthentic, she would be a terrible terrible friend not being able to listen to what really drags you down when you need it
@@imaginationastronaut6568 I seriously admire people like you. I can't imagine being like that, but @The Dude is right. We desperately need people like you. Don't let yourself be put down by the negativity and glorification of negative emotions that is so normal nowadays, and don't let the many, jealous leeches in this world take put you down and take advantage of you. As long as it stays genuine and doesn't become a facade, it's an amazing mindset to have.
@@imaginationastronaut6568 totally me too. Glad to hear happiness can be a daily standard
In the video, Emma doesn’t appear as if she is acting in the way that she is in order to win people over. To me, she sounds genuine. It almost feels as if the video is inferring that a person should try to be less than they truly are in order to have friends. Just a thought.
That's how I was thinking about the video as well. I get what the main objective of the video is about but what if Emma just simply wants to make a life she's happy about. Why does she have to degrade herself to make others happy?
Agreed. I'm not Emma, I'm ammE, so I'll be a dick here, but this comments section sounds like people who haven't had a single original thought and just repeat what others around them say, like parrots. Nothing wrong with self improvement or being the best. :)
Lord Michael what’s amme
@@ianpage4568 Emma-ammE
Well that's how world works. If you become what you are trying to eliminate the flaws, people will tag you as some kind of weirdo. While, if you start following trends what others follow they will say you social and cool person. However, in reality it's other way around. Also, even though, you seem to have lot of friends they are just your friends for selfish reasons and no one will even bother to text you or ask you if you are in trouble. In the end, you end up being lonely and alone. From personal experience.
3:41
"Putting every returned half-clenched lip smile to shame"
I didn't authorize to be called out like this 😂
I feel like she totally lost herself in trying to be better. She made everything better but it made the parts that made Emma "Emma" disappear. In the end, she doesnt have a personality of her own. I feel like she is a blank canvas. Just painted white.
Why do you think she doesn't have a personality?
@@shizukomirai6985 There is nothing really indicative of what kind of a person she is. Whether she is shy, outgoing or anything else. Whenever she invites people, she invites them in the most polite way possible. I am not saying it is wrong. But I cannot shake the feeling that she behaves in a way that is the most polite even though it might not come naturally to her. It feels forced. There are many ways of being polite.
Moreover, I feel like she does everything to perfection because she thinks that makes her better. But I don't think it represents her. But the biggest thing problem here is she makes no effort to have genuine relationships or she doesn't realise her relationships are not genuine. She is everything humans are supposed to be but she is not her. That is not to say that we shouldn't be the things she is. You can be that exact person in your way. I won't argue that she definitely has no personality. May she does but there is not enough information to explore that. But I just feel like rather than discovering herself, she can changed herself to the ideal image we have in our heads. This is my personal opinion. You can disagree though.
@@shizukomirai6985 OP already responded, but I think if all of your actions and interests are only there to serve it's best function, it looses the personal intent ("because I want to"). I.e.: if she spends all her free time volunteering or exercising because she thinks this is the best for her health and her community, where are the things she does for the simple reason that she likes it and wants to do it? If her every action is directed towards a goal, like being the most productive and beneficial possible, what actions of hers are done simply because she likes it and wants to do it, no pretentions?
I just can't evision what kind of music or book would she listen to/read just because she's interested, I can only imagine it going "she listens to Beethoven because she read it has cognitive benefits".
imagine a friend who care a friend who listen a friend who helps a friend who smiles
now would you like that friend?
according to this video you should hate him
the story of this video doesnt really make sense and its ideas are really dumb and maybe only exist on a very sick mind
think my friend dont be a tool think
@@jokeralfeeen This video is an imagined scenario. Nobody is saying there is someone like this. But it is possible for this to happen.
To answer your question, yes. Everyone would love a friend like that. There is nothing wrong with the friend who cares about you, listens to you, helps you and smiles. But the problem is all of Emma's actions feels forced. She does it because she thinks it should be done this way. Not because she wants to do it that. I cannot understand how she can be so polite and yet cannot see that nobody wants to talk to her genuinely. I don't think she genuinely cares for her friends because she cannot even pay enough attention to find that they don't want to talk to her or ignores it. She doesn't try to understand them. But she invites them in the most polite way possible because it is the right thing to do in her mind. It is a prison. No matter what she feels about something, she is going do it in the best way possible. To be human, is to have flaws and to accept them. To have desires, hopes, dreams. To experience disappointment, fear, anger and overcome them of course. Yet, she feels none of these. I just don't think it is truly possible for a person to happy all time. You can be content and satisfied with the experience of life, all the time but not happy all time. It further emphasizes that she is positive and happy all time because that is the proper way to live. Not because she is truly happy all time.
Also you cannot be kind with empathy. Kindness stems from empathy. If she was really that kind, she would open up about herself to others. Tell them is okay to be not be in the right place. But even she doesn't realise that.
A little perfectionism can be constructive but a lot of it is self-destructive.
I don't agree with people hating Emma or anything. I think she needs a friend. And she should think about what she really wants in life. Not what should be done in moral and societal standards only.
After all this, if you chose to disagree, then that's your choice. As I have said earlier, this is my opinion based on the information provided. Maybe her character is not explored enough to have a clear conclusion. But this is how I feel about it.
It just sounds like Emma was around the wrong people. Nothing wrong with striving to be the best you can possibly be.
But the truth is excessive perfection is annoying very suspicious and sometimes even creepy... people would likely not trust her because she strives so much to please everyone that it will leave people to believe that she is hiding something sinister
Like imagine visiting your friends parents and you meet that their shoes are all geometrically arranged by the front door, their furniture is all evenly spaced, every detail their dinning table is accurately arranged (even the food) and they all have weird excessive smiles on their faces...I don't know about you but I would be creeped out... that's how horror movies start man
Well yes, but no. Emma lived a life of only good and couldn’t handle the bad, she tried ignoring the bad of life. Life needs you to understand the good while also understating the bad, not everything can be or will be perfect. Emma let people who weren’t qualified take jobs and therefore hurt others, she went too far and tried making life too good. She led a lie that she thought helped others bu instead hurt everyone else.
Striving is the important word here. As it was said, Emma has perfected everything in her life, therefore whatever you are striving for, Emma has already perfected. It gets frustrating knowing that no matter how much closer you get to your goal, there's a person that's always been and will always be ahead of you. It makes you feel like a failure
Perfect is not the goal of good. When I was younger I knew dozens of teenagers who fell into this trap. You could count the times they fell short of perfect on their skin, because people like that tend to keep track of that.
Oh, and perfectionism isn't about being a good person. It's about the logic of exploitation.
Extra Credits:
Head Writer: Emma
Manger and Organizer: Emma
Head animator: Emma
Everything Else Possible: Emma
Voiceover: Emma with a voice changer
HAHAHAHA I can't 😂
Emma always discredited herself
Jasper 03 It’s a different Emma, Emma credited it all to her.
Lakers4Life (me in a group project)
"Life calls not for perfection, but for completeness." - Carl Jung
❤️👍🤡
Bats ArePeopleToo Someone tried to drown their pain in cash & it didn’t work.
What is completeness?
@@jJust_NO_ Being happy, satisfied, thankful.
That's real perfection
In my opinion, people admire personalities like Emma on videos only and always want to become like her.
But in real encounters, we don't like to be surrounded by someone who is always right and feels like dominating to us.
i must be an outlier then.
now i know why men find me intimidating
This is true because like another comment said "she is just there." She needs to influence people on a deeper personal level and work with some people struggling with different things.(outside of work. helping random coworkers out in non work struggles) it also seems she was just around the wrong people and they didn't want her good influence.
strongly disagree
people that feel intimidated by people that work hard are weak
I feel like many parents may paint a picture of having a perfectionist life that causes many children to look down on their self-worth and question if they can amount to what their parents have achieved, much like Emma.
Emma sounds like a genuinely wonderful person to be around and if her efforts bring her meaning and fulfillment then I fail to see the paradox. It sounds like the people around her need to work more on themselves and take responsibility for their own negative responses. The implication that we need permission from the weakness in others to explore our own potential is damaging to all involved. As sovereign individuals we are under no obligation to accept the doctrine of a collective ideology that aims to keep everyone equally low.
Would you go do volunteer work with Emma huh?
Emma ghost wrote this
Precisely.
I doubt I'm correct but the way I see it is that people project their own failure to "live life" whenever they see Emma.
All they see is their own inability to do what Emma does seemingly so easy.
Because Emma seems fine all the time no one expects her to have any hardship. So no one ever bothers to ask her if everything is okay. If she'd show that openly, like people say she should, they would most likely berrade her (idk the word I'm german lol) saying things like "oh as if you have any problems in your perfect life that can't be" so why should she even bother showing her weaknesses?
People are so caught up with themselves 24/7 that they forget to put themselves into the shoes of others every once in a while.
That's what it looks like to me anyway..
I'm for sure projecting my own insecurities here.
She is living life like an automaton with algorithms programmed into her from online self improvement guides and classes. She is living in insanity doing the same thing over and over. not enjoying life just following what others have told her constantly. Having as much personality and character as the previously stated automaton which makes her not sociable or liked by anyone
This seems like more of a critique of society than of Emma.
on point!
Will society ever change though? Is it not easier to assume that Emma's the one with the problem rather than ourselves? Nothing will ever change.
We're all the heroes of our stories after all. You ever notice that? It's never 'my' fault. Everyone complains about everyone else.
When was the last time someone said they had a problem and openly stated, "I was being an ***hole."
You're totally right though. Why would giving up on trying your best be the moral?
Seriously! Should a women like emma downplay herself so that she is more likable to men or other average people?
@Ulitarism i think being a friend would be fine. But if you're working on something with her or living with her, that *could* be a problem. (Emphasis on could, nothing is all so simple) . I understand this because of my dad. He is a perfectionist. Always doing his tasks even small chores with perfection. But problem is, if I am doing some work under his watch, he wants me to do it perfectly too, and I'm personally not that clinical at stuff, it's just not in my genes, so whenever I am with him, there's this added pressure on me, added tension on me in what I am doing. And that only works against me, that tension only makes things worse for me, I don't do as good as I can because I am afraid my work's not gonna be perfect, not because I want it to be perfect but because my dad wants it to be perfect. So I just hate doing anything, any work that my father asks me to. I hate myself for hating on him, but I can't help it. Just adds to my insecurity and anxiety, and most of all, kills my creativity. I think that's sort of the thing with Emma here and why people may not like being around her.
Although I do believe not every perfectionist is like that. Maybe there's some perfectionist who's just hard on himself but kind to others and understands that everyone makes mistakes and is different so doesn't really try to impose his ideas on others. Just does his work masterfully. i do believe there would be people like this, life is not so simple as to just label a certain group as bad. But really this last example I gave would work I think only if the person is not chasing perfection himself, and that's pretty much the message of the video. The "kind" perfectionist exception I talk about would be someone who's trying to give his best in his work, but since he is naturally clinical and just overall suited for that work, when he gives his best, his work turns out to be perfect. But he doesn't seek perfection. But then he wont be a perfectionist so let's forget I called him a perfectionist.
TLDR; Don't chase perfection.
"The Chef goes to great lengths to avoid Emma when she's there"
Why did I laugh so hard at that?
This is oddly the beauty of humanity. Everyone is flawed in a way, even if everyone wants to be Emma. A perfect person that is both generous and objectively efficient at everything.
Yet when someone is this perfect cardboard cut out of "Perfection" humanity just straight out rejects them..
For people saying how could she improve if she’s already “Perfect”. She could be a black belt, she could run faster, she could be more kind, she could find ways to relate more to people so that they enjoy talking to her. She would be a great clinical psychologist as it sounds. Most people unless they are looking for help don’t want advice and it seems that her perfection annoys people because a large part of conversation is talking about life’s struggles. Also a problem with this story is that it’s impossible to be Emma. Shit happens, relatives die, Emma could find she has cancer. She won’t always be happy as she is described. Life is suffering and the only truth and way of Being that trumps suffering is living a life of meaning. Being an Emma is impossible because tragedy no matter your routine strikes everyone. And on those days people will realize she is human and will approach and talk to her willingly about her issues. They will then realize that she is more human than she appears to be and will spark a friendship with her. I get the point the video is trying to make but it seems more like an excuse for people to stop striving to be the best they can be. Which is an awful lifestyle change to make.
i agree
I think the point of the video was that you shouldn’t try to be perfect because it won’t make you happy
@@alpacawithouthat987 she seemed happy.
I go to bed at 9 am and wake up around 3 pm, hate schedules and planning, change my plans 600 times a day, I’m late to everything, change my mind all the time, can’t commit to anything and fear commitment, want to spend my life genuinely ENJOYING what I do, not being bored, I forget to eat and drink, break any routine I try the same day, can’t focus for even five seconds if I try to meditate, watch this video on 2x speed.
I’ve tried so many hobbies and forgotten everything, I spent thousands on a piano and mobile app to help me learn, learned like a tenth of a few random songs and got bored, same with ukulele, other instruments, languages, I even studied abroad in Korea and forgot how to speak it, Ive made lists of like 100 (literally) hobbies I wanted to try then kept getting distracted. I don’t remember the last time I ever finished anything.
forget to shower, turn in my assignments ten days late, never finish my project, but nonetheless come up with endless ideas for them, don’t pay attention to what I eat... anyone else or am I the only train wreck here 😅😅
I can totally relate buddy. Except I always find myself to be a boring kind of person. My heart says "try something", while my mind keeps getting distracted. Hence, affecting my motivation to learn something.
I pray for you to be able to find what you really like to explore. They say BIG things start with small beginnings. You'll eventually find that spark to ignite the fire inside.
I do hope the same for mine as well though. God Speed!
Emma is the saddest story this channel has ever done.
I'd probably hate being around her too sadly.
Yeah. This made me realized why most people I have or would meet hates me, probably not hate, just dislikes.
I actually hated her through this story lol
@The Dude That's a very biased percetion, in my opinion, sorry. It actually really depends on the context of the situation, and in many cases it's both persons in the conversation contributing to one of them disliking the other. Of course, it's no one's duty to make oneself being liked by others, but it's a bit too short-sighted to only blame the others and completely make it their problem and not your own (they have a personality too and they have their reasons for disliking someone) since you could just have made something wrong without you realizing it. Thus, self-reflection is the first thing you do before you blame others. And to be sure about that: use communication. Communication is the key.
@The Dude I know that. But you know, ever since, I don't have friends. Friends in which you usually go out together in weekends. Never in my 20 years of living.
duke abigor do you find yourself to be like emma? i think i’m the opposite, yet still in the same situation. i do not have any friends because i am miserable. everyone wants a friend they can escape reality with, not have it shoved down their throats every time i’m too numb to smile, too empty to laugh and joke. the cynical and the perfectionists’ oppositions only make them the same.
There's 2 kinds of people in this comment section: Emmas and the people surrounding Emma.
"The perfection paradox" appears to have been coined by the latter.
If Emma truly had mastered social skills, she'd have tonns of people showing up for her weekend events, because she'd know how to sell, inspire, and motivate. She'd know how to build rapport.
If she truly had mastered social skills, she'd show herself humble, weak, admit to her OCD and type-A personality. She'd be vulnerable, but most importantly *relatable* to others. Most people would love her, because who doesn't like being loved by someone they look up to?
There's plenty of Emma's out there, this way she'd have lots of good, deep friendships with people who hold her in equally high regard.
You truly can have it all, if you want to. You might have some haters, but also many fans.
Balance selfishness with selflessness.
Root yourself in love. Be virtuous.
It's all about perspective and choices.
Life may not be perfect, but that's what makes it special and unique, just like you. ❤️
I think your being to harsh to her. The only thing she lacks is self awareness. And if she worked hard to be where she is now, why does she have to humble herself so that others feel better? I don't think it's Emma's problem it's the people around her for their lack of self confidence. They hate her because they can't be her.
@@aaa.. that's a perfectly valid position to take! But is it the most pragmatic and effective approach to get Emma towards the life she really wants?
Blaming others and pointing fingers feels good, and is sometimes effective. But it's called "survival of the fittest" and by that is meant "those who fit in the most" or "those who are most adapted to adversity".
Gotta take the circumstances as they are and make the best of it.
If you can find happiness whilst excluding other people, good for you. If you want them in your life, then don't push them away, but invite them in.
anonymous stalker they hate her because of the clear lack of social skills, natural personality, and originality even though the author claims that she has mastered social skills. If this was an actual person, it is inevitable that at one point, she would start to see that her day is filled with both productivity, and the lack of originality, so might try something new. Which leads to the next problem, personality. Almost all of her hobbies and personality is based on what she has found in research, not what she believes is interesting or what she has grown accustomed to over the years. Which possibly, she most likely won’t know where to start. She seems perfect when you take a first glance at her, but once you get to know this type of person, she is just unoriginal and boring, and lacks actual friends. Which is almost certainly going to happen with people who strive to become a person like this. It’s just a matter of being caught up in a certain act.
@@rg5226 great points!
Really this emphasizes the "hypotheticalness" of all this... Our originality and uniqueness comes from the limited amount of influences we can use to shape our personalities.
It's nearly impossible to live this life of perfect average, as there's not enough time in a day to read all the materials, and do all the research.
Deciding to follow through on one thing (but not others) creates your own, unique mix of pragmatic recipes and actionable wisdom for life.
So yea the story in the video is quite unrealistic, and has many logical conflicts and paradoxes in it.
... u are absolutely correct Sweetie ... that'll preach !!! ... much luv ... (-_'l
how absurd we humans can be, Hating someone's perfection just because we cant accept our flaw.
Anyone like Emma should not be discouraged by such self-centered beings.
Watch the video again bro. As he has clearly mentioned, people don't consciously hate emma. They just feel bad for being themselves because she is the most perfect person there ever is. When you hate yourself for something, you absolutely start hating the reason of your self loathing. Maybe you haven't met somebody as perfect and hence you are a stranger to these sorts of emotions.
@@mysterystation3551 thank you
I don’t think you get the point
@@mysterystation3551 Perfection, like all value judgements, is completely subjective. I think many would find Emma's perfectionism to be highly obsessive - I know I do. But, as I see it, that's her issue; so long as she doesn't try to impose it onto me, we're fine.
Such things tend to be somewhat built into the human condition. Some people have better control than others, but the instinct still remains in a species that constantly struggles with their own selfishness. Even in fiction the most relatable characters are often the one's with a certain combination of strengths and flaws.
That "Her bosses often try to avoid her in the hallway" got me 😂💀💀💀
good video.
Good to see fellow creators cool with eachother
I always switch between u guys
@Joshua Delaney i was the 69th like
@@marcusdoherty9139 yesssssssss
I love your videos! Your my favorite video creator.
Humans are complicated, not simple.
Emma is simple, not human.
Besides, simple can be boring and predictable.
You have forgotten her inside brain.
Emma is goals I don't understand what's so wrong with being bland and boring when you are literally what everyone is trying to be.
@@sneddypie What are the "bad things " that you are referring to? To what degree should we engage in such things? I have been following a tight schedule in quarantine , I don't want to end up like her. I want to explore places and experience new things but I don't have the opportunity to do it since I'm very young. I want to have lots of fun in life.
@@sneddypie 1. we don't know what she's been through, what she is thinking, the people in her life and her life in general. what we only know is what she does. her "routine".
2. everybody has their opinions. you have yours. try not to project it on others though.
@@aaa.. Me too. I don't understand why people hate the Toyota Corolla as being "boring" as it is too perfect in terms of reliability.
Emma sounds like the type of person you could compare to Marcus Aurelius. A man who has everything. All the wealth, power, influence in the world.
And no friends.
nah dude Marcus was chill even with all his productivity.
Muhammad HarDick It’ll probably turn you into a cold indifferent person who cares for no one and eventually hates their own life
@Muhammad HarDick exactly what was described in the video. Unintentional hostility by others perceiving Emma to be too productive, too much of a go-getter, or makes others perceive they are lesser even though she is not malicious. Human beings are social creatures by nature, and thus we really do need friends to make meaningful connections with, otherwise we suffer.
At least Marcus can get laid whenever he wants... plus when you're on top your friends may be jealous and become potential enemies who will eventually backstab you.
It is hard to have friends when you have sex with everybodys wifes
People are so insecure and envious, that’s why they hate Emma. I personally think Emma is cool you should always strive for the best version of yourself.
I like how your positive genuine message has five likes and people reveling in being "human" (aka an excuse for failing at being a unique individual) have hundreds. How jealous
Lord Michael exactly, I also try to always strive to be the best version of myself and improve and think positively. In a way, I can really relate to Emma, I also feel like a lot of people don’t like me even if I just try to help people and spread love people still hate me. But ofc I’m not gonna let people let me down as it would only hold me back from improving further.
Everyone in this comment section is amazing. Have an awesome day!
@@lordmichael7136 Emma is not a "unique individual", actually quite the opposite, she's the most stereotypical image you could possibly paint of a human being. Emma is so predictable and therefore boring that no one seems to appreciate her, which would also be the case irl.
@@StefV153 I'll give you a better steriotype.
There is a guy, Jeff. He's ambitious, and wants to move up in his company. He cuts others down to do so, making friends only to drop them when convenient. He then gets to the top, and realizes he's an empty shell. Insert different jobs and you have many people.
Joe is in the rat race. He works a job that doesn't pay well, that he hates, keeping up a smile so he can keep the job. He gets home, smokes some pot, and drinks with his friends to get through the day.
"Imperfection is part of what makes something perfect" is probably my favorite saying. Even if something is flawless, it's not perfect.
Everything about her life is designed to keep her from getting depressed but her life is the most depressing thing ive ever heard of
Personally I would love to surround myself around people like Emma. I want to be around people who inspire me to push myself into a better person. We as humans are capable of amazing things and Emma sounds like a person that we need more in this world.
They’re the people who win in the end. They’re the happiest and content with life. I want to be around people who do things to self improve and shows traits of humbleness and positivity
I disagree that one hiccough is all it takes. When you really have a routine it's really easy to stick with without thinking.
Liam Marshall-Butler and when your routine involves socially isolating yourself from everyone around you that can lead to even worse issues
This video's content reminds me of one of Dostevsky's literature. In one of his literature, he describes a person who wants to be 'perfectly rational' and believes in Rationalism, but he wrote that it's impossible for humans, and it's not a good ideal to pursue.
Do you remember the book title? I would really want to know
didinho55555 I think he means The Idiot. I read it, and could see the relation as well
@Kitten Katt That is an appeal to nature logical fallacy. He clearly didn't actually study propositional logic and didn't understand what it means to reason.
So he argued the case that it is rational to not use rationalism. There's no getting around it. By merely arguing a case at all, you automatically concede that reasoning is valuable, because if you really didn't believe it, then you wouldn't be making arguments against it.
I legit was blown away when he said "The imperfection of life, can't be escaped even by complete perfection". GOD DAMMIT.
maybe its not her, its just her creepy smile.
ruclips.net/video/j800SVeiS5I/видео.html
RBF
I've encountered people who have a few of the same characteristics as Emma. The ones who are always smiling--I find them off-putting because they're completely unrelatable. If you share something you're upset about, they either want to shove ways to fix it down your throat (or that's the way it feels), or they dismiss it. "Well, it's okay now." "It'll be ok!" "Life is still good!" Like, dude, just...RELATE to the fact that life is messy sometimes. I don't want to tell you I'm mad about X and you just smile and basically tell me not to be mad because life is good. No, it's not always good... And it's important to not negate the existence of negative forces in our lives.
I'm already sleeping again by the time emma even leaves her house
Thing is, Emma is no a human being. Emma is just a perfection-robot with no legitimate personality. Even if she means the kind things she does and says, it all seems so...manufactured. I think it would be exhausting to be Emma, and this coming from a perfectionist, by the way.
Ikr I’m no perfectionist but it seems like she refuses to change like go to a spa and vent or something
In my opinion, it would be really interesting to listen a reflection like this about a person that's opposite to Emma.
I think it will help me understand myself better, and why I'm on the opposite and equally self destructive end of the spectrum.
!!! this we need thiss
This reminds me of something I’ve learned throughout human relationships and stuff and it’s that humans connect to each other through there flaws and pain, when you see someone that’s perfect and your life isn’t nearly as good you can’t relate to that person at all, or feel a connection towards them, instead you subconsciously create a shield against because it feels as though they’re taunting you with there wellbeing without even trying. It’s just a thing of like the feeling that we all know we aren’t perfect let’s us accept each other for our flaws and we accept people with there imperfections because we have our own.
k
Jonathan Pickles ?
People have such different viewpoints regarding Emma, it's amazing! Let us make one thing clear though.
Emma is a robot.
Not physically of course, but mentally? Yes.
All that she knows, from her diet to even mere conversational skills, are all a product of someone else.
Nothing that she does is a product of her mind, her own impulses. She does everything like a robot; with responses based on research and information that has been fed into her mind. Not emotions, even during simple conversations. Many people are wanting to be her friend and that's great, but I would never be able to be friends with someone who has no emotions and no empathy. I want my friends to be empathetic and real. All of us go through bad phases in life, and although everyone's way of dealing with problems is different, I would not want to be greeted with an optimistic quote or a motivational speech at every problem. I would not want to be told motivational stuff if my father has died and I'm grieving. No. I would just want a shoulder to cry on. But Emma, a person whose only emotions are "happy" would not be able to help me and that's sad, because she sounds like a very motivated and nice individual. She just lacks emotion; the thing that makes us human.
This is just my opinion btw!
Completely agree with you! It honestly feels like someone programmed her entire physical and mental being - conversing, activities, food and drink intake, emotional behavior..
It just doesn't come off as "human". *Nobody* can be perfect, but everything about her here IS perfect. She. is. a. robot. It doesn't feel genuine or real (i.e. she isn"t human)
@LiL Speng I never said that she is less than me. Also isn't it ironic that you're claiming that I think of her as beneath me while saying that she is superior to us, which is not true? Human value cannot be measured as all humans are born equal. Furthermore, no it does not make her comparable to Jesus. Jesus was, as far as I know, the son of God and could perform miracles and spent his life spreading the word of God, something which was different from what others were doing at that time. This girl is just a human whose thoughts are manufactured products and one who has never had a single original opinion in her life. Just a vessel who regurgitates the thoughts of others. She is a follower, not a leader like Jesus who led people to believe in God.
Nailed it. Emma’s fake. When I told the one decent family member I thought I had about some childhood abuse that we both experienced he asked me if I knew Michelangelo was gay and told me I should go help abuse victims. Really I just wanted him to hear me and pick up on how he was also affected by that, but he’s so far-gone in denial and superiority he tried to make me “feel better” bringing up what he secretly (until then) saw as my flaw- out of the total blue and with no relevance (at least in that context) to what I’d said.
He moved to Hawaii as soon as he graduated college and has never lived on the mainland again. He ran, so I thought he understood. Thought wrong. He ran because he ran from understanding. Told him “I’m trying to help someone who was an abused kid right now but you’re not meeting me halfway, cuz”. We don’t talk anymore because it turns out he and my other two cousins sat idly by while their mother stole the one income-producing asset our father left my brother and me for her grandchildren (my second cousins, two of whom are his daughters). Suing now to get something back which partners us to “family“ colder and less trustworthy than the mafia. And if Emma were a guy she would remind me EXACTLY of the treacherous and betraying little half-brother I get to do that with.
He’s a college professor who forges his own reviews on rate my professor.com because the real ones students turn in call him a bully who insists questions be asked during office hours and say that they are afraid to be alone in a room with him . He did get a 4.0 in his PhD program which - like where he teaches - was not at a competitive school. He “didn’t test well“ growing up, but is an academic lol. On the other hand all three times I got the highest grade in any class for the year at an academically very challenging school our father said nothing. Two weeks after I lost the last spelling bee I ever entered I also realized Dad was the only person who didn’t ask me what word struck me out. I only even realized it was a big deal for me to lose one because the entire auditorium gasped. Dad favored him in his will and he knew about it from the beginning. I know this because it was Dad‘s accountant who had to tell him it was a bad idea to declare Dad non compos mentis because that would invalidate the will he’d just executed that favored him. So they deserved one another (accountant too) and true to form when Dad died brother had his will in his hand- making sure he was still favored no doubt, and split before Dad drew his last breath.
So I have some clue now as to why I didn’t enter another spelling bee and why my brother felt the need to try and steal my identity. Even though Dad never mentioned any of my accomplishments to me he clearly must’ve mentioned them to my brother. A few years before he died one of the last times I spoke to him before I went to see him on his deathbed he asked me when I’d ever had a winning streak LOL That wasn’t all the nasty shit he said that night either. So my own Dad was envious. When he died I thought well if he’s free of his body hopefully now he’s also free of his pain. Now four years later I could give a fuck about his pain and hope he hurt at least as bad as he stunk. With regard to my half brother, when a psychopath or narcissist Single White Females you you just gotta let them think they took it and try to get a kick out of watching them do your thing all wrong.
The Emmas of the world project fictitious superiority by incessantly imposing and maintaining their own fictitious standard and making everything a contest - - a contest they have to win and are too devoid of integrity to resist gloating to the person they’ve just prevailed over by cheating. Nobody cares about it but them and if you try to engage with them they move the goalpost because they have to win shit that wasn’t even a contest. Their disordered personalities are entirely externalized beecause they do not generate any of their own self-worth. Feel sorry for someone like that at your own peril.
Agree
This. I've known people from high school that made me think some people are NPCs (AI / Bot). Everything in their life is so calculated and "perfect" to the point that they become obsessed with themselves and their acceptance in society, they try to study social things in their rooms, on internet... not even knowing that the actual reality is in the streets, interacting with imperfect human beings, learning about psychology, sociology, emotions, relations, nature... all in all, they try to be the perfect human - and they end up being inhuman.
It’s hard to hangout and let loose with someone with a tight schedule and routine. You’d feel you’re getting in the way or you don’t feel proper enough to be her friend.
this girl sounds like she's living through hell, i can't imagine having to maintain being this on schedule or "perfect"
It also will more or less result in a burn-out. Can 100% confirm this. Perfection doesn't exist. Perfection isn't what we should seek. It's balance that we need.
@@Teddylandclub Thanos Agrees🖒
The Xiarthos yes! We must have the perfect balance! This requires further research!
@@Teddylandclub I thought the same, but maybe since she has set times to meditate, have fun, etc maybe it works out for her. Still sounds exhausting since even her fun time is scheduled, but idk.
@@limeylemon1685 I usually don't talk about this in public, but since you mentioned it, I might just do it now: So, I am working with hermeticism (if that topic rings a bell to you) and work with the metaphysical system of Franz Bardon. Ironically, my schedule was (when I first started) similar to that of Emma (being highly productive in my job, very attentive about everything, even smallest changes in environment, trying to be perfect in almost anything, etc), yes I even had set times for meditation and fun/free time as well. But the strict way of keeping to such a big schedule will sooner or later let you burn-out. Although I did many meditation exercises and even had free time, I realized that it just was too much and then one day it just hit me all at once. The biological body and the psyche has a limit. We're not gods, we're just men, imprisoned in flesh. And even incorporating meditation times here and there in such a highly productive schedule won't let your body rest enough to be fit again. That's where I realized that it's balance that we should seek, not perfection. And ironically this is what hermeticism was all about ("balance") without me dummy realizing it at the beginning.
Weird how she's basically "perfect" but this person sounds unbearable, so annoying, oh god
That's why people hates Mary Sue.
I think overall it is not because she is "perfect" but because she is just a collection of generic attitudes and routines and has no real character to call her own. People who take self improvement to the max often push it to the forefront and lose the complexities and nuances that make someone interesting.
@@billhicks8 Very well stated! I personally think that we shouldn't seek perfectionism, but instead balance. Additionally, perfection is a goal that is unreachable anyways (as we've seen with Emma), because let's be realistic, if anyone were to be like Emma (even doing the unnecessary counting of how long you brush your teeth or searching for the "perfect pillow") like being highly productive all the time, one sooner or later would have a serious burn-out. The human body needs a time out as well and being like Emma would be (which is quite ironic, thus another paradox of perfectionism) extremely unhealthy for the psyche and the body over a long period of time.
@@billhicks8 Nah its just that they are jealous cuz they arent at her level
Like they are all bums having no real hobbies and doing nothing with their life, thats why they all run away from her, cuz shes like a butterfly and they are like, idk, snails or some shit
It’s as though she simultaneously has everything and nothing.
Agreed
Perfectionism after watching this video: Alright emma head out.
Procrastinator: emma need change.
Lmao, nice one
Oh my god she eats breakfast? I guess she didn't do her research on intermittent fasting.
I've always wanted to get an Alarm clock, but if I can't have Anime Openings as my alarm I don't want it
me too
@@NNana-wo7ol my parent just saying what the fuck are you singing me singing something in Japanese 😂
I'm falling asleep while listening to anime openings, I don't think it'll work lol
You would start hating Anime Openings
“When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
― Arthur Conan Doyle
Lmao you're desperate for likes aren't you ?
wasn't that sherlock holmes
How is this relevant here?
@@resq4516 sherlock holmes wasn't real so the quote could/should be ascribed to the author.
@@slevinprakash6460 it's not
“ Every good person is the same, but every flawed person is flawed in a different way”
“after all, Emma knows variety is the spice of life”
I love how this is said. In such a sarcastic yet emotionless tone.
The only time you'll achieve perfection is when you're dead. There are no flaws in death, it's 100% guaranteed.
Otherwise, life should never be perfect, it is the flaws, the imperfections, the struggle to solve problems, that gives life its meaning
She did struggle to solve problems she just overcame them
Problems and struggles gives life contrast.
Guess she will just have to keep challenging herself to go higher, instead of being stuck on the same like many others.
This is like mad wise
Tbh I really liked Emma she seemed like a person I would so very much love to have as a friend, being her friend would motivate me to be better too
This sounds exactly what I try to be... I'm constantly working towards improvement for good quality of life but now this makes me feel like there's something horribly wrong with me. Is the price of perfection really worth loneliness?
I think you shouldn't call it perfection if It doesn't repay you for how miserable It makes you feel.
All we can do is live our best lives and not be controlled by jealousy. We can control ourselves but we cannot control others. And finally, what another person thinks of me is none of my business.
no, it's not
There's nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself and your life. Don't take this video too seriously. Actually, if Emma was truly perfect, she would also allow herself to be vulnerable in front of people sometimes - and ironically, if she was vulnerable, people would probably like her. Have you seen the Brene Brown TED talk?
We can't even start to define what perfect might be, so let's just leave it in a "dude, whatever..."
This is a good reminder that you should strive for the best “you” you can be, but also that you’re imperfections are what make you unique and interesting. Enjoy life while you have it and make an impact in your own self.
me watching Emma's morning routine as I sit here eating chips for breakfast at 1pm bingeing youtube videos in bed
👁👄👁
I know people like her.
I can't say I dislike her, far from it, but there's something non human about her. People connect most through shared vulnerability, because on the grand scale we're all vulnerable.
Emma is the perfect modern human indeed, but that doesn't make her perfect - it is just the type of person who knows what and how to say all the time, no matter the situation, but she lacks the salt and pepper needed to truly get close to people.
I thought that my Perfectionism afforded me a luxury that it actually doesn't.
I'm in a same situation as emma.. But I'm a student xD. I have been on self improvement since 2-3 years and eliminated almost all the imperfect things in my life. The only thing I do is mix up my routines just to have fun. I realized this long ago that being perfect didn't give me the satisfaction, I should have got. So, sometimes I prefer perfection, sometimes imperfection and embrace it. This way I balance the stuff out.
Everything is a creation of the depth of an individual’s conscious. These videos are the corners of our minds we express through others to ourselves. As well as action and reaction through ourselves to others, we are beings meant to communicate and express. Great to see we’re still trying hard
Hey I really like what u said but I could not understand ..... Could u plz explain it to me once more
work ing no, they are not going to explain their comment that everyone except you got, to you
@@srishtimishra4255 Try to watch some videos on Carl Jung here on YT. It may clear up some of your doubts
@@srishtimishra4255 They didn't say anything useful. Just blah blah blah random pseudo motivational words together
i’m an emma, after a near death experience i realized that the one thing i regretted the most on my deathbed was how i wished that i was a better person for those around me. obviously she took it too far by not allowing herself to experience her own emotions but other then that i genuinely look up to emma and i am so grateful for all of the emma’s i have in my life
“A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.”― Sure she may be a bit too giddy, but her heart is in the right place. As for the majority of the masses around her - they have a poisonous personality plagued with inferiority complexes and fail to just be happy for Emma. I mean she LITERALLY gave her promotions to others! At least those people should be grateful. So in conclusion, Emma could definitely tone down her flamboyancy so it doesn't harm her. But the REAL problem here are the egomaniac low-vibration HUMANS in general who need a SWIFT kick up the arse mate! YAH! Also, all these thirsty sheeple love celebrities and social media influencers, who mostly spend their lives taking their own photos, exploiting others, having self-absorbed rituals; and somehow THIS is acceptable and in fact, looked up to, in society? pffft. I say EMMA is the real deal here. Girl just needs some acclimatization to this current civilization, and she will be able to adjust her enthusiasm to a balanced level. OK. I am DONE!
exactly!! i wish i had a friend like emma
While I understand the message of not worrying about perfection and the inevitability of imperfections, I don't think you could blame Emma for anything, she's just doing her best here.
Though I also understand the people around her. As a straight A student myself, I could never get the needless annoyance and hate until I met another person who was better than me. In our own arrogance, we learn to despise anything that would remind us of our flaws and return us to humility. Once we see that our qualities are just a drop in the sea of greatness, our drop becomes much more salty :D
I see what you did there (～o￣3￣)～
Damn u explained my feelings ಠωಠ
It pains me to admit that i have a similar life, except the routine, i can't stand routine. I crave for the best and the best only, so sadly i have almost no one around me, i know a lot of people and by the nature of my work i sometimes see myself surrounded by people, but they are always "distant", i have no longer friends in life, except for one. And to be honest, i don't care if i end up alone, i don't like small talk and i don't like shallow people, if the conversation isn't helping any of the parts involved, i rather be alone, i appreciate being alone even though i used to be an extrovert and to be the "entertainer" of everyone and make everybody happy and smile a lot, but since i noticed that i did that to everyone and nobody was there for me, i started to live on my own and have distanced myself from everyone. I'm a Coach and i use Psychology to help people, those who listen to my advice undoubtedly advance in life, achieve anything they really want, doesn't matter if it's about "things" or "people", they always get what they want, i know i'm good in helping people because i understand people, i'm 33yo and i dedicated my life to understand why and how we do what we do, but i guess i fell in the same trap the girl of the video did, i wanted to be so good, so perfect, that nobody around me can keep on my pace, and since i don't have a regular job, i managed to improve everything i do in life to a level only few could match, i play guitar, i sing, i speak several languages and english is no my mother tongue, i read a book every week and i aim to improve even if i "think" that there's ins't room for improvement. Life hasn't been kind to me, so i guess i became a control freak of my own life.
Is your MBTI type INFJ (or INTJ) ?
You sound like a fun and interesting guy still honestly. What's your favorite theory or idea to discuss?
@@ontolog5871 Tbh i don't know mate, i don't watch tv, news or anything that doesn't make me think, i used to be a extrovert so even though i can be shy, i can also entertain lots of people when i'm in the mood, also, i work teaching people how to speak in front of crowds, how to achieve things in life, like cars, houses, enterprises and so on, relationships, and i know i'm very good at it, every single one i helped got a comfortable life or became rich, but my life is a mess because i'm too lazy, i get only the things i really need in life, the only expensive things i own is my PC, and my car, but my car is only expensive by my standards. Never look into those kind of behavior traits, at least not on me...
@@fondelll Thanks man, i really appreciate. Anything and everything that burns the neurons hahaha, especially "impossible" things like Quantum mechanichs and so on, i think life is too boring if there isn't any other life forms yet, i mean in the sense of, soone or later there will be another sentient species (if we're the first) But if there are some other races out there, even if they are hostile, i wish i could meet them before i die. The subject i love the most, is Psychology, i have read books os psychology since i was 14 or so, the best insights about our mind came from those. And when the matter is fiction, two of the best books i ever read: 1984 from George Orwell and Brave new world, from Aldous Huxley, i used to laugh of those people who usually say we're heading towards this kind of utopia, but each day we pass, i think we are drawing closer to something similar.
Hey! Same here! I mean, your life sounds so much more impressive than mine lol I only speak 2 languages. But totally agree, hanging out with people and just do small talks, or not spending QUALITY time is more boring to me than staying home alone. I believe as long as you don’t feel miserable about your own life style then it’s all good.
Honestly in the reality this is exactly opposite. For as long as i've been alive i've seen other people gravitate towards these kinds of people.
Hell yeah. There's no way you wouldn't get attracted in such a wonderful human being like her
Yeah, many times when you see someone who has all that shit figured out, they also have a fun social life too, and actually seem to enjoy their life. This particular situation in the video however, sounds unique to Emma, and personalities like her, who seem to have trouble connecting with others.
@@PP-sh6ki yeah imagine meeting someone who knows so much about anything. We'd be talking nonstop and i'd be admiring her nonstop while Im at it
what a circlejerk of people who act as unbearably as emma
I know some people like Emma. Sure those kinds of people attract other people but in certain time and certain productivity level, not "i'll be there whenever you need me" type of friend. In my case, I'd like to connect with "Emma" in my most productive and go-getter time, but when I feel so unmotivated and sluggish I can't manage myself to reconnect with her. I feel so inadequate, so I will avoid Emma in certain time.
honestly people hating on Emma for being good says more about the people than it says about Emma
I knew 2 people like this in my life, and I always felt bad about the way I felt about them. They were such sweet humans, but something about them made them so irritating, which I could never understand, because in theory they should be adored by all.
Now, Im feeling bad again.
Challenge: Take a shot everytime he says "research"
2:14 minutes in and im already dead
@@DarkestOpal come on what's wrong with you? Vodka shots keep you going.
When people are asked what 's the most precious thing there is, they might say it's diamonds, or something very expensive and rare. But if you think about it, it doesn't make those things perfect, worth in fact, isn't what decides how useful or good a thing is. Worth is the combination of how much value we give to an object, and its actual usefulness. Diamonds might be very rare, and posesses very impressive qualities for a material and for its beauty, however has litte practicality, yet we would probably identify it with perfection and think by default that it's the most precious thing one can have. But a diamond can't adapt or change, a diamond is just a rock, a beatiful shiny rock. You can expect it to turn to dust like every other rock over a really long time.
The most precious thing we have is our own life, so is what lets us live, so is water. Water is everywhere. In the ground, in the sky, in the sea, in... us. Water gives life to our planet, so it's one of the most precious things we have. Water doesn't turn to dust, water evaporates, and comes down as rain. "When you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup, when you put water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle" it's the very definition of adaptability. So be like water my friend :)
@Gamer_ grunt you don't get the idea :(
that being said, the diamond industry is a lie
Even in perfection, life is naught but suffering.
Dennis wakes up when his body tells him to. Dennis promptly makes a cup of coffee and loads a bowl of sticky green bud. Dennis has a sip of coffee and proceeds to wake and bake. Dennis sits and watches RUclips videos for as much time as his cell phone battery will allow.
This is me
OMG. An imperfection story of this kind sounds creepy too.
hell yeah
“If the world was perfect it wouldn’t be” Yogi Berra said that. So I guess the same thing goes for an individual.
This makes me feel good that I'm not perfect
You’re pretty ❤️
I don't. I rather be Emma than the actual me. I mean, we all actually hate her just because she shows exactly what we wanna (and MAYBE could) be if we try really hard for it. But it's easier to just keep things as they are, pretending that she is the wrong one for actually doing things right in life
@@Matpeixelegal yah bro, i wish i could be like her, even if people hate me, but it doesn't matter, what matters is i would love myself,😊
Pruthvi creative art that’s an awful way to live life if you ask me. Striving to be the best version of yourself is fine, but when you’re actively trying to be perfect and trying to spread that to other people who aren’t willing to listen, and then dismiss there aggression as them failing to be “more like you” all it is at that point is self righteousness. And honestly if you ask me, someone like Emma can’t even exist. flaws are a part of being human, in fact imperfections is a part of the thrill of life, like the drop off right before the massive hill on a roller coaster. So if you strive to be perfect, you’re essentially casting away what makes you human. If everything in your life was perfect all the time, perfect amount of satisfaction, health, and self care and love, then what’s the point? The events in your life would be a flat line, Stagnant and never changing. That’s not life, and living like Emma isn’t living, it’s purging yourself of humanity
andre dobson truth!
"You'll wake up one day to discover that everybody loves you! But nobody likes you..."
what does that mean?
It's strange to be loved and to love, but not really feeling liked or liking others. Responsibility overshadows enjoyment the older I get.
@Bron_ true
This narrator has a very soothing to listen to voice. It’s beautiful.
The last part of the video is so accurate, even just you talking about her the whole time I was thinking that she would be generally just unpleasant or uncomfortable to be around for a reason that is not entirely clear.
“After all, Emma knows that variety is the spice of life“. LOL luvvit. Refined mirroring and conversational techniques creep people out because they are contrived and fake like Emma, who most likely was the golden child of at least one narcissistic parent who “loved“ her conditionally as long as she delivered their idea of perfection. Emma makes sure she gets plenty of mileage out of every good deed but doesn’t have a loyal or selfless bone in her body. Emma’s a machine.
This reminds me of someone I know that shares quite a few of these traits but he has plenty of friends and people that care about him.
Basically, if your extremely amazing at everything, you will also be amazingly lonely, because people won't approach you for fear that they'll seem less compared to you.
People who have high status actually have better social life based on an article that I've read
@@PhantomAyz What article was it?
@@PhantomAyz This is commented within 5 minutes of your comment being commented.
After watching the first minute of this vid I’m going to make a prediction , Emma is a control freak who has no real friends .
Yes I could be way off but I once knew a girl that may have some relevance here, she was Friendly, physically active and good in any social situation, the trouble was that she was too ‘perfect’ and it felt ‘wrong’ or ‘false’ , we were all pleasant to her but she never had true friends. Saying this outloud has made me realise my own ‘faults’ she deserved from me the truth about what I and others thought about her, she had always been nothing but kind and helpful to me BUT I now feel ashamed and guilty cos by not being straight with her denied her a chance to rectify her problems , that chance being to dump us all for being arseholes and get herself some Real Friends.
Dawn I am truly sorry for being such a prick , I hope you did find that one lucky , special person to share yr life with .
Back to this vid and I truly hope I got it wrong about Emma .
Take Care All . R .
A story from a person who lives (almost but not as extreme) as this woman. The truth of this is, it is lonely at the top because it is also impossible to tolerate people who live like all of her co workers. Unlike this story I have been lucky enough to find hard working and hugely successful friends who are also like this woman (and myself) and we connect on a better level than I can with any other human being. People around us are so wasteful of their lives, they scroll, they get angry for no reason, they say horrible things about the people they meet throughout their day and then get angry at me because I’ve managed to get through my to do list with ease and they haven’t. As it says in the conclusion of this video, it isn’t her that is the problem, it is the fact everyone hates her for having her shit together while they work their life away with their harsh chemicals and bad food and copious amounts of stress. What she has is a stress free work life. Because we do what we need to do between the hours of 9-5 we get all evening to spend our time reading amazing books, having great sex, painting, creating gifts rather than buying gifts (one of my favourites) and so on! Never ever let other people’s projections of their own failures stop you from organising your life in a way that connects mind body and soul! P.s we still feel a full range of emotions from crying to excitement I’m not sure why this video assumes she is a robot 😂
We like to see our own vulnerabilities reflected in others. It can can trigger our sense of empathy. Without empathy, others won't be as easily relatable to us.