First Neuralink Implant Recipient Successfully Performs Depraved Sexual Acts On Elon Musk
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- Опубликовано: 22 фев 2024
- This Week's Most Viral News: February 23, 2024
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For those wondering if this is real: the onion is known for its credibility
Well...... not being sarcastic but uh..... they are prophets. Literally
Incredulity
Kinda like The Simpson's
Hey, they predicted Buzzfeed's mass layoffs afterall!
@@snowdrop9810 *were
A long time ago. Now it just seems random nonsense.
Elon's fanboys don't need neuralink for this
This
Joe Rogan has entered the chat.
But that would defeat the hotness of manufactured consent.
too true
Omg 🤣 😭
Don’t forget onion tends to predict things before they happen…
😉
those writers arent here.
Hell yes, I always want to be a video gaming outlaw!
I am not so sure this has not happened yet tbh
@@deltalima6703so true
Michael actually died in that coin machine. Luckily due to collecting 100 coins before that incident he had an extra life. Stay strong.
I'm waiting for people to start circulating this as if it's real.
The Musk cult is probably already ordering gimp-suits by the thousands ;)
It basically is, let's be honest
I'd show friends this never mentioning that it's fake they always trip out like "wtf you get your news from damn"
if it wasn’t real, how did you see it?
But this is.
“He’d pick up a nickel and yell WOOHOO!”😹🤣
But seriously, this is me🎉
I love how this is genuinely a pretty wholesome description of this kid just being a kid and she sounds so distraught about it
@@Thomas-uc4sg I felt the same.
Video games addiction is super scary 😨
Hope you don't start bouncing around collecting coins like a crazy person.
@@theodorebear6714 looool!🤣 just as long as I don’t find myself stuck in a Coinstar machine!
Say, do you happen to have the cheat codes for unsticking one's head from a coin star machine?
The video game one was hilarious. Deserves its own headline
I'm pretty sure it already was a separate one, not sure why it's also on the end of this one
@@bosstowndynamics5488they add 2 or 3 old videos at the end of every new one to increase watch time, they've been doing it for some time
@@bosstowndynamics5488They've started doing that to milk older content
It’s a commentary on how popular content farms milk content, certainly not The Onion being lazy
@@lemonlordminecraftcertainly not! They would never do such a thing! The whole reason their channel has been falling in quality for the last decade is surely a social commentary, there’s no other explanation.
The "Game over" and sad "waa waa waa waa" got me 😂
Game over, man. Game Over!
ruclips.net/video/BV9uEeOigwc/видео.html
…That’s absolutely not funny u know…
Completely unbelievable that Congress would ever spend money repairing infrastructure.
they passed a big bill a couple years ago!
@@sm0nawhich done practically nothing except waste money on good roads
In 2007 the average age of an American bridge was 45 years old. Here in Australia, bridges get REPLACED at 40 years old, even on small backboards. If they're a stone bridge they're kept and a new one is built near it with the road redirected. Sometimes the syone bridge becomes a pedestrian walkway. If they're not, they just close the road, demolish the existing bridge, and build a new concrete one. They're kinda nuts of road building here. I hit 6 lots of roadworks going home from work one night.
When they took him to the station, all he could say was: Game Over. Wah wah wah wah...
The future is now old man
Moans*
The future is now old, man
@@lolasdm6959 gay moaning*
The future is Gary Oldman
@@CANNIBoy the future is man old gary
As someone who does kinky stuff involving latex suits I can safely say that I'd still never want to be within the same continent as elon musk
why would you admit this online
@@wafflemation6887 to make sure people are aware that we can’t stand that clown either
@@MaticTheProto based
@@wafflemation6887 Let's be honest, it's not surprising given the pfp.
@@pinkfurret6245 true
I know a lot of folks liked the old style of video that looked like newsrooms with reporters, but the bellyaching about bringing that onion back is so melodramatic. I’m glad they’re making content again, and these days where people are so distrusting of news outlets and equally so obsessed with taking in news from unreliable influencers, I think this is the onion we deserve in the year of our lord, 2024.
u know they finally put up a good video for once when u get this type of comment
Old onion was cool, one day it would be nice to have a throwback type of video, but this quick and small bits feel easier and more open tbh. Whatever, the onion is back and that's all that matters.
i clicked the comment to read fully and all i saw at all was "this is the Onion we deserve in the year of our Lord 2024" and honestly its all i needed. agreed 😂
I think they'd happily go back to that style Unfortunately there isn't much money in Internet video as there used to be, so I'm happy we're getting anything from them.
I duno this style just isn't as funny to me I guess
This is shocking, i mean so soon after the toaster incident and all. Like come on Elon!
It ain´t easy to come on Elon, if you are wearing a latex suit...
Toaster incident? That couldn’t have gone well
@@noahwail2444 Technology will make it possible. 💦
A penny for your thoughts.....a nickel for a kiss......A brain chip if you tell me that you love me
It's the Onion unchained! 😮😅
@@j.dunlop8295 Indeed
elon musks fans in these comments are real angry lol
Love those who are even denying to be in the cult. Bet they still ordered that gimp-suit already :D
I scrolled through the comments and haven't find anyone like you described.
@@RandomGuyOnRUclips601 no way 🤯
@@peterpain6625 Almost as amusing as those who hate people who are successful and claim that those who have built multi-billion dollar businesses are "idiots".
@@kev3d Well it's pretty clear by now most of Elon's companies still exist despite of him rather than because of him. He is a spectatular snake-oil-salesman though. Alsoa right wing nut job which qualifies him as an idiot but heyho ;)
Has the Neuralink implant recipient been given his *horse* yet ?
Poor musk, first the toaster, then a neural link vict- err i mean patient. He just can't catch a break.
I wonder if Michael ever grew that moustache and became a plumber. Where else would you meet turtles and mushrooms you vibe with?
we need to give the onion their old budget back bruh those old videos where they looked like news were absolute heat
What the Onion is now saying is that society is doing so well absurdism and satire are now indistinguishable artforms - but never fear - society is working to catch up and ensure reality become joins them to form a trio.
"It's imperative that people understand the real meaning behind the Boring Company." Musk proclaimed maniacally.
does this mean, the Toaster can be now mind controlled?!
No, it means the toaster can mind control YOU!
Truly one step closer to bridging the gap between humanity and toasterkind.
yeee
The Onion: They find something we wish were true, but couldn't have possibly thought of yet.
Elon Musk says that the deepstate government is trying to control the public and the government wants to put a computer chip in your head.....
And then Elon says hay lemme put this computer chip in your head and pay me for it 😂
This is hilarious
This is fake as hell. If musk really did this it would be to a self volunteered twitter user who he would force to laugh at all of his jokes no matter how incomprehensible or dated they are.
Thank you for clarifying the sky is fake
Plot twist: The neuralink wasn't activated yet
Did he get rickrolled directly into his Brain
My dad is the same.. always with the cash and then the coins. I tell him "just use your card like everyone else!" But no.. no. He saves all the coins. Hoarding them. Telling me "they will be a saviour when we're at a parking meter again."
When dad? When? They all use apps and cards now...
Not all
This is the onion we need
The Onion we need is gone.
At least he wasn't eating strange mushrooms to grow twice as large lady, jeez
I almost spit out my food laughing when you said musk. Lol.
I am so glad that The Onion is doing skits like this again. Pure genius.
Did he at least get a horse in exchange?
what a time to be alive!
It's about time i don't have to patch my own holes punched in walls thanks congress
That lady was straight up surgical in her accuracy with the "woo-hoo" and "wah wah wah"
It’s like the doll chips in Cyberpunk 2077
i need news articles theres absolutely no way
that boy must have a lot of nickels😂
"Taking away his coin purse" as a male i can only -- 😬😬😬😬 (
I grew up on 1970s Saturday morning cartoons.
*Cannot* resist outsmarting coyotes whenever I get the opportunity.
No coyotes around here, though, so not many opportunities. 🤷🏼♂️
Did they all get horses?
Well i think we all knew this was going to happen.
3:23 I was not expecting that. 😂
😂😂
Exactly what I needed this afternoon. You cats are fantastic!
We support this message, even if Musks terrible kinky ways aren't representive of most billionaires and future Martian's! 😅😢
Elon thinks Babylon bee is a better satire site...
Read the terms and conditions before agreeing
What an unsupportive mother. If they just let him collect 100 coins, he would have gotten an extra life.
No horses required
He got a Cyber Cleveland Steamer ! 😅😅😅
"I tried everything to stop it... hitting over the head to scatter his coins" 🤣
Is Bill Haegerthy somehow related to Jim (Pig) Haegerthy
This situation is so tragic, hope they get better
Ewww!
for some reason this comment is the only one under this video that google lets me auto translate, and it just says the same thing
Sometimes you can't pin how a child is on their parents. There is nothing she could've done to keep him away from that coinstar machine that ruined his life 😔
Coins are a gateway to rings!
I watched this post nut clarity 😭😭😹
Now we know why he is called Mr Musk.
🤣🤣🤣 welcome back Onion
"The light of human consciousness. Space Sex LOLOL"
The Onion never lies about the future.
Game over man!
I would like to congratulate elon for moving science forward!
I adore the old presentation but this format works well too. It's post internet presentation
Hell yeah, we about to get joytoys like in cyberpunk!
0_0
i think elon awarded one of these neuralink implants to kanye's new "girlfriend."
So Kanye is into "caviar"... Makes total sense ;)
The way 12 year old onions are aged like milk (or wine, however you wanna see it). Im anxious about the future
Kudos to the graphics department!
Damn... this one went hard.
In a world where coins don't have power over me
😂😂😂😂 I think he definitely thought about this and his fellow elites 😂😂😂😂 Probably be two modes - worker and service worker 😂
Just free Julian Assange ✌🏻👍🏻
And they said that miracles don't happen ❤
Bravo!
That's sick !
I wish the video game section was published separately on the channel :/
video games bit was hilarious
The pain I feel watching this onion video, knowing that in less than a century this will be a true story
Damn, watching new Onion videos just makes me wish for the Golden era 10-15 years ago when they had actual funding, production value, writing and acting.
In order for one to know virtue, one must be first acquainted with vice...
Well it’s about time
Tell me this was created using Grok 😂
Economic World Forum: Your kids need neural implants right now, the future is transhumanism
Whoever made that thumbnail needs a raise
Good for Elon and his latex clad pet. I can't wait till this technology is released for the use of the public.
What a time to be alive
Yt will soon delete this one? save it quick.
The mario one is so peak
What happened to the onion 😭
good luck onion team 😭
Study finds only redeeming quality of The Onion staff is
"wet holes".
FOR THE LAST TIME MA, MY NAME IS MARIO NAO!
Exploiting a female to quote and explain this news makes all the difference. Thank you for the sustainable authenticity.
Yall gonna get in trouble 😂
Poor Michael
How many people are gonna fall for it
BoomChickaTesla!