A normal human being can only contextualize so much until they feel extremely disrespected. That point on, you must stand your ground, put your foot down, and even fire back as you need to. It's part of having a personality and creating a space where future prospects won't disrespect you.
agree. Saying "i can appreciate your perspective" is a good first step, but what next? I was hoping for some advice on how to call it out, professionally.
Aha - other people, even rude people, are there to show me something about myself so that I can change my attitude because I can’t change other people. Thank you 🙏🏾
This is such a great topic, and it will happen to everyone sooner or later. I find it very helpful to take a step back and call out the situation, not the person. For example let's say something says in front of a lot of ppl in a meeting that your work is substandard and that you shouldn't be working at a company - my immediate response is to say nothing at all. Let the silence hang. Higher-ups will be watching and looking at your response too. Do you become hysterical and reactive? Even if you feel super angry on the inside, just let that cold Batman energy flow through you, and above all, give yourself SPACE TO THINK THIS THROUGH. Don't do the knee-jerk, it's always a substandard response. Often the best thing to say is nothing at all. Let people feel your cold, calm energy. Then, if you really feel that you MUST respond (remember: it's always better not to be a puppet on a string being "jerked" around): the best thing to do is call out their motivation. "What was your motivation to say that?" or "Can you tell us why you phrased it like that, and not in a more professional way?" or even "What was your real purpose in saying that? Care to share?" I have found that these things are very powerful strategies because they immediately highlight just what an ass the other person is being. Another good one is "Do you feel you're handling this in a professional way?" The most important thing is to keep your own external energy cold, calm and collected, even if you feel like smashing a plate over their head. This stuff WORKS!
Dr. Grace, some of us already have been putting up enough with rude people around us, being understanding of their incompetence which they cover up by putting down those who are good performers. How should we TALK BACK to such toxic people? What WORDING can we use? What STRATEGIES can we use to defend ourselves when we have already done the inner work?
Dr. Lee that was very helpful. I forget which one, the one the pattern of my response to rude remarks. I react exactly the same way regardless who says it or being says what. I see this pattern. My go to pattern is to say, I know why you say that. Hopefully this break my life long pattern of rude remark reaction. This is the first time my life someone has given a way to break the pattern. I know the old habit dies hard, but now I have a key to break it. Thank you very much.
Thank you! I've watched quite a few of your videos and I found them very insightful and have depth. I admire how articulate and clear minded you are. One gentle feedback: I am really looking to crisp up my communication: use the fewest words to get my message across clearly and engagingly. For whatever reason, I am looking up to you for examples as your talk is very engaging. However, I do think some of your talk can be more crisp. I understand that you probably are not following a script. Again, you are doing great. I am just looking for role models for simple, crisp and clear communications.
Thank you for the explanation & example to break our neurological patterns! This I understand & can do immediately. What a simple & direct action to practice.
I do love your videos and appreciate your heart with different topics, however this seems to be a defense of the person that’s being rude. And how to respond to them. Like regardless of whether an employer is forward thinking or not, doesn’t justify being rude. So I’m wondering how do we respond when a CEO is deliberately being rude and talking over you?
My go to videos , thank you ! Hoping to get acknowledged for an upcoming leadership role in a field that is very fast paste while I achieve better at a slow pace. Perhaps you could capture this in one of your videos !?
Is it appropriate to set red lines (lines that should not crossed e.g. Lack of confidence) that when crossed it ok to "engage" like tendering courtesy resignation from a team thereby giving him/her the free hand to select new-members?
A normal human being can only contextualize so much until they feel extremely disrespected.
That point on, you must stand your ground, put your foot down, and even fire back as you need to.
It's part of having a personality and creating a space where future prospects won't disrespect you.
agree. Saying "i can appreciate your perspective" is a good first step, but what next? I was hoping for some advice on how to call it out, professionally.
Me too!
Aha - other people, even rude people, are there to show me something about myself so that I can change my attitude because I can’t change other people. Thank you 🙏🏾
I like it... I think that you dont grow as a leader if you dont learn how to deal with this agresions... it is like a challenge
This is such a great topic, and it will happen to everyone sooner or later. I find it very helpful to take a step back and call out the situation, not the person. For example let's say something says in front of a lot of ppl in a meeting that your work is substandard and that you shouldn't be working at a company - my immediate response is to say nothing at all. Let the silence hang. Higher-ups will be watching and looking at your response too. Do you become hysterical and reactive? Even if you feel super angry on the inside, just let that cold Batman energy flow through you, and above all, give yourself SPACE TO THINK THIS THROUGH. Don't do the knee-jerk, it's always a substandard response. Often the best thing to say is nothing at all. Let people feel your cold, calm energy. Then, if you really feel that you MUST respond (remember: it's always better not to be a puppet on a string being "jerked" around): the best thing to do is call out their motivation. "What was your motivation to say that?" or "Can you tell us why you phrased it like that, and not in a more professional way?" or even "What was your real purpose in saying that? Care to share?" I have found that these things are very powerful strategies because they immediately highlight just what an ass the other person is being. Another good one is "Do you feel you're handling this in a professional way?" The most important thing is to keep your own external energy cold, calm and collected, even if you feel like smashing a plate over their head. This stuff WORKS!
Thank you for sharing what to say in such instances!
thanks a lot this is really useful
Dr. Grace, some of us already have been putting up enough with rude people around us, being understanding of their incompetence which they cover up by putting down those who are good performers. How should we TALK BACK to such toxic people? What WORDING can we use? What STRATEGIES can we use to defend ourselves when we have already done the inner work?
Dr. Lee that was very helpful. I forget which one, the one the pattern of my response to rude remarks. I react exactly the same way regardless who says it or being says what. I see this pattern. My go to pattern is to say, I know why you say that. Hopefully this break my life long pattern of rude remark reaction. This is the first time my life someone has given a way to break the pattern. I know the old habit dies hard, but now I have a key to break it. Thank you very much.
Excellent tips, higher level thinking. Non emotional, keeps control of oneself when cannot change the other party.
Acknowledge tip is awesome so that we can break the pattern.
Your videos have really boost my confidence and raised my esteem.
I am really glad to hear that, Moji. It's such a blessing to have you here on my channel.
I always enjoy your videos. I find value in these tips.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Suset. It's such a blessing to have you here on my channel. Welcome!
Always waiting for new uploads Dr. Grace.❤
More to come! I appreciate your support, Joshua.
@@DrGraceLee thank you for your passion Dr. Grace.❤
Thank you! I've watched quite a few of your videos and I found them very insightful and have depth. I admire how articulate and clear minded you are. One gentle feedback: I am really looking to crisp up my communication: use the fewest words to get my message across clearly and engagingly. For whatever reason, I am looking up to you for examples as your talk is very engaging. However, I do think some of your talk can be more crisp. I understand that you probably are not following a script. Again, you are doing great. I am just looking for role models for simple, crisp and clear communications.
i just experienced rudeness from one of my employees and this really helps me. thank you
I appreciate you sharing, Jo. I'm glad you were able to work it out with your employee. Welcome to my channel!
Thank you for the explanation & example to break our neurological patterns! This I understand & can do immediately. What a simple & direct action to practice.
I'm glad to hear that, Leah. I appreciate you sharing your takeaways from this topic. Welcome to channel!
Very informative video
You are absolutely amazing!!!! Thank you so much! I almost went crazy in my own head.
Glad to have you here, Tanisha!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us❤
thank you for your time and knowledge.
You're very welcome, Anthony! Glad to have you here on my channel.
Thank you for enlightening me! Your CLEAR gave me an aha moment!
Glad to hear that, Grace, and you are welcome!
Emotions are a physiological reaction to a thought and they need to be controlled in alot of actions u use.💯
Thanks for sharing your takeaway, Derek!
😇time horizon, what a great vid
Thanks for the valuable info you shared, love your channel...!
Glad to have you here, Lora!
really helpful, thank you
You're welcome, James.
I do love your videos and appreciate your heart with different topics, however this seems to be a defense of the person that’s being rude. And how to respond to them.
Like regardless of whether an employer is forward thinking or not, doesn’t justify being rude. So I’m wondering how do we respond when a CEO is deliberately being rude and talking over you?
i love it Dr.. ❤❤❤
My go to videos , thank you ! Hoping to get acknowledged for an upcoming leadership role in a field that is very fast paste while I achieve better at a slow pace. Perhaps you could capture this in one of your videos !?
Ma'am, run for US President. Thank you for your great content video
She is Canadian. Make a good replacement for the current - PM (or to some .....).
Is it appropriate to set red lines (lines that should not crossed e.g. Lack of confidence) that when crossed it ok to "engage" like tendering courtesy resignation from a team thereby giving him/her the free hand to select new-members?
This doesn't explain how to react when they are actually intentionally being rude and you know they won't tell you what their problem with you is
you are beautiful inside and outside. I'm learning a lot. aha moment
I’m happy to hear that you are learning a lot from my videos! That’s my goal and passion as an executive coach and a leadership expert.
👍👍👍👍