Why Are You a Loner?
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
- Full seminar here: • Schizoid Personality a...
Schizoid lifestyle as rational, ego-syntonic (happy) choice
Schizoid personality mistaken for narcissism.
Schizoid not problem of object relations but of cathexis (object libido)
Paranoid ideation, dysphoria, anxiety, and catastrophizing as engines of schizoid behavior.
Inscrutability and irrationality threaten order and structure.
Treasure chest or pandora’s box.
Triggers grandiosity by challenging it:
Misunderstood: If only understood, will be mine
Blank screen (projection)
Blank slate (molding, formation).
Adventure, narrative, movie, thrills, technicolor.
Detachment: misconstrued as helplessness and childishness.
No threat of intimacy, lots of personal space.
Self-sufficiency misinterpreted as strength or fearlessness.
Asexuality is a challenge.
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com...
I have devastated experiences with narcissists. I was lied, cheated, robbed. So I decided to live alone at age 58. No nerves to go through all that again. People are so evil but I have my devoted cat.
We really have to stop throwing around the term ‘narcissist’ so easily.. I mean, if you read social media it seems like every person that’s ever dated someone or been married but isn’t anymore was going with a narcissist lol
Cats are narcissists
Same with me, I feel good when I stay alone)
😂 @@heythere6983
Same I've been single for 3years now I have my dogs 😢
I'm happiest when I'm alone, have no friends real or virtual..... Relieved to hear that it's not a pathology.
👍👍👍
I use to have a lot of friends in my 20's but by the time I hit mid 20's those friends dwindle to 1 and by 2018 that last so call Narc who I thought was my friend I cut him out of my life. Now in my mid 30's I haven't seen my family since 2020 even though they live 15 minutes away, I opted to cut them out of my life too once I figured most are Narc's and 3 borderlines. I am content with my solitude beside from time to time needing my urges as a man fulfilled. It's better I live like this then to be used and discarded by horrible family and fake friends.
I have Prof. Sam's videos and music. That's all I need.
My 17 year old son presents exactly like the Schizoid you describe. I have been trying to figure him out for years, and refer to him as a Zen Master. He is totally content and unbothered at all times. Everyone tells him how sweet and kind he is but he could care less about their opinions. He lives coolly and naturally, gliding through life, in his own world, always.
“He is totally content and unbothered at all times”
Then he isn’t human.
Sounds like you idealize him and he’s detached from his own desires because participating in your shared fantasy of him is more comfortable.
Also looking to your son for emotional stability is emotional incest and enmeshment, he’s performing for you because having anxious parents is terrifying.
Enmeshment and schizoid goes hand in hand
Unless he's very good at school or some financially viable skill, this isn't a good thing.
"I have been trying to figure him out for years"
Well just imagine how hard it is for him to (figure out) exist in his own head. . .
Going Zen is a relief for us "content and unbothered" types. For me, I'm so highly sensitive that the only way to somewhat properly function in the world is to accept things and people the way that they are, and not overly burden and overstimulate myself by trying to mold reality into my preference.
For us Zen types it goes back to the old faithful:
"Desire is the root cause of suffering"
🤷🏽♂️
I live alone because I feel like i can't be my authentic self around other people without making them enraged and abusive towards me in a passive-aggressive or just straight up aggressive manner. it really sucks, I really want human connections, I try to do everything I can for other people. But they just don't seem to care, they suck away all of my time money and emotional energy and leave me drained like a shrivelled husk while offering me nothing in return, and it's not like I want more than I put it I just want some reciprocation, but I can't find that in other people. i don't seem to exist to other people, and honestly I kind of am starting to like it that way. For some reason they even pay me not to participate in my society.
What about your authentic self infuriates otgers?
Holy S! They pay? Where do i sign up? 😅
@@IsitReallyrealreally I guess he's from Western/Nordic.
Do not drink alcohol in public or with other people and do not hang around people in bars. Do not do drugs at all, ever. Do not associate with anyone who drinks alcohol or does any drugs whatsoever, at any time. Never go to another bar or pub again. Turn off your phone at 8pm - don’t read any texts or messages or take any calls after 8pm, and go to bed at 10:30pm every night. If you can do this, I’ll bet you that your problems start clearing up.
Several things led to my continuing to be alone over more than 50 years. My sister was encouraged to be social and to go to parties because my mother Really identified with my sister. My personality and my looks apparently did not lead my mother to act as if Anyone could ever possibly ask me to a school dance.
She made lots of dresses for high school dances for my sister. But my mother never did anything to suggest that I might ever go to any school dance.
My sister, brother, and mother all had social activities to go to. Since I was younger than my siblings, I spent Many Many nights either by myself or with a babysitter.
I tended to pass out in the heat when we would run races in my school when. I was age
10-13. My classmates thought I was weird because of this.
…. So many things over the years contributed to my being Alone for a great deal of the time.
& As I have gotten older and have not had money to take vacations anywhere, people in very Big churches where a lot of wealthy people go - did Not have anything in common with me. & I don’t have children or grandchildren to mention to other people.
I did formerly meet a lot of people in my 20s and 30s. But they were not people that made me feel safe or as if I was in reliable friendships with them.
So, a person can start out as a child wishing to be invited to play or to be invited to parties and through various circumstances just never reach a solidly social life.
& Then what you are left with is reading about psychological categories and the reasons why things happened as they did.
I'm 22 years old and i've never been in a relationship I considered safe or reliable. And honestly I expect to life my entire life that being the case.
sex without real intimate connection makes me feel bad. something broke when modernity came into existence. im not suicidal at all. im just relax.
I hate to admit it but I agree & so does the stats. People are spiritually starved.
I suspect one of the differences between narcissists and schizoid, is that the schizoid was raised with extreme neglect and a total absence of entitlement, whereas the narcissist was raised with entitlement as well as trauma. Something I’ve noticed about narcissists is that they always tell you how they are victims but never how they were spoiled. And yet when you look at the structure of their upbringing, there was entitlement and spoiling of some kind. I doubt schizoid have any of that.
Completely agree as I see it with my own siblings. The spoiled siblings received favourable treatment and turned into narcissist.
As the younger sibling of entitlement and trauma. I agree. Though I veiw the spoilage as part of negligence. never having the tools to build proper discipline or balance because they assume discomfort = bad and comfort is the only thing I should engage in.. I'm currently digging my way out of this cycle.. though I could've prevented this because I did realize at some point that maybe I should be doing chores or..... something at least-..
I am isolated and aware of the reasons for my isolation, but with time I discovered that it is not necessarily my identity. I am not limited to it, but rather I have become accustomed to it.
...
For example: Most of those around me at the gym considered me strange and projected their personal impressions on me. But one day my friends and I came to the gym. Most of the people who always saw me changed their view of me forever when they saw me joking and laughing. Whoever was afraid to talk to me became motivated to create a relationship automatically.
...
Impression plays a big role in our world, and awareness of it is important. Even if you like isolation, take into account the impression and your connection to the reality of life.
I select to live alone, I am at my best, I love people from afar❤ If asked for help, no problem. I can be paranoid at times though. Love this!
This is how I am. I prefer my own company, I refuse to fit into other's categories. I refuse to be judged and I would speak out and then, of course, their ego would be hurt. I cannot be bothered with these types. Love from afar, help and support when needed but I choose to be by myself. I am alone, but never lonely. It appears to bother my family members that I like my own company so much. Over Christmas, and my birthday I am always told things like ' we worry about you being all by yourself'......... they need to own their feelings, I am not taken their feelings on. I do not feel they even realise they are projecting their feelings!
@@VestalNumbre Stop peddling your religious garbage on a psychology site.
I have an excellent cat, made the decision a lot easier
Bro….i can’t get enough of you. Thank you for the content and the assistance with self discovery
Video just started for me. I love being alone! I’m afraid of what I’m about to learn about me!
I think both covert narcissists and schizoid PD types are way under recognized and diagnosed. Thank you for bringing to light to these important disorders and topics. I enjoy listening to you and appreciate your style of delivery, plus I always learn something from you.
🎉Happy New Year Sam. I fall asleep to your videos every night. I thank you for sharing your knowledge 🧠. I love being alone in my home library. Others don't understand it. I love learning. It's hard for me to be around people today ,too many are surface level souls. Is why I love being alone 🙂 besides , my beagle is the best company lol awesome video. Thank you 🙏🏻
Yet again another riveting video. None stop high value behavioural enlightenment.
Because I’m insane and I don’t want to leave my house, because I have valuables and society is wicked.
The world turned me into a wicked monster.
I also have great power and with great power comes loneliness.
Yes, people just seem to be uncomfortable that I'm happy by myself 😮... I'm not lonely or suffering. I'm free to be myself learning, experiencing enjoying being alive! 🎉
I can sympathise a lot with what you are saying. I'm single 5 years. I've had few dates, few sex dates, I like chilling by myself the most after the relationships I put myself into in the past. I don't even think of dating and I'm happy with it. My professional work gives me fulfilment and it's the way if interacting with people as most often I see them 1:1. The most happy I am I am by myself but it was a process and still is. 💖 I do love Humans though. Thank you so much for your work! You are much appreciated by many🙏🏻💖
Same here. Honestly though the thought of going out to meet women or dating is daunting. I can’t imagine finding someone that would be worth sacrificing my solitude for
You shouldnt be having sex anyway unless you are married
It just doesn’t make sense to me to go in debt, risk having a bad marriage, and the possibility of having psychologically damaged kids are all very frightening to me. Here in America, if I tell someone that I don’t have and don’t want kids, I am get the cold shoulder from people (especially women). I am mostly happy alone, but sad and depressed and anxious because I cannot relate to most people I encounter.
We are divergent thinkers with high consciousness. I've withered on the vine with broken heart syndrome. Too much surreal evil & betrayal by master class actors. I decided today I'm moving far away to scuba dive,f a high stress career unless you love it. Very few people are Happy in the US. I'm so unmotivated, don't recognize myself. I died along time sgo
Wow that blew my mind .,.lm fascinated ...just out of a relationship a narc skiz personality ...you are describing my exp with him. I discovered you a few months ago having left the relationship a yr and a half ago. Thank you for illumination on this profound topic that really should be talked about more. At some stage the trauma needs to end. Higher vibrations hopefully are coming into the planetary consciousness that will eventually set us all free I'm tired of this ...time for change ❤❤❤
Single for the first time in my adult life at the age of 41. I had no idea how great it would be. I still love going out and socializing but no way I'm living with a woman again lol.
This is an highly valuable lesson!!!
Thank you
Happy new year Prof Vaknin :)
Thank you, Professor!
Thank you Dr Sam Vaknin,we will listen to you all year ahead 😅Happy New Year to you 🎄❤️💫🙏🎄🌹
Thank you !!!
Thank you professor 🙏🙏
Very very interesting ....very clear....thank you
Four months no work,
Two years no sex,
One day no Sam Vaknin.
It's not the life I wanted but I know no other way... Autism and, probably, CPTSD.
Worse when he ordered ME to "leave him alone, to go elsewhere," that another man would be doing him a favour!
Thank you for stating and explaining this ❤❤❤-Xclusyph Icon
Does my goldfish count?
My rabbits do!
Perhaps; the question is, how high?
Maybe 9 seconds?
Lul
My bids do, lol.
Birds, not bids
@@cowoverthemoo LOL when we make the same joke, wonder if it's to do with England descendance 😄 as Einstein said about the fish trying to climb the tree
Pragmatic reasons mostly.
Well, this is very interesting. So, if I am to infer correctly from this video, I'd say that the schizoid core invests emotion in objects by making abstracts, and delineating pathways between abstracts. Instead, a neurotypical person does the same but can also interact dynamically with both objects and abstracts ie. They allow pathways to be reconnected and diversified between self, objects and abstracts.
So the borderline does not have a „bad object „ inside ? Only the narcissist? Just to understand that right.
Search the BPD playlist on my main channel.
6:37 because all good women are taken and we are stuck with trash.
I don't want to agree with this but it is more than 95% a description of my actions. I told myself I wasnt going to do much about the cheating because I felt small, and thought I wanted her to be happy and needed to show it
Your lack of self-respect & masculinity disgust me.
Would a narcissists be paranoid about being narcissistic, not to other people but to themselves? people have called me narcissistic, even when I was a child, but I think i'm sizhoid in lifestyle and autistic. I don't like having social conflict with other people either.
Search my main channel for "aware".
Hi, so what makes a narcissist makes a schizoid as well? Abuse in childhood? But they are much fewer than narcissists and BPDs right?
No and yes.
Is any relationship between Schezoid and adhd
No.
It sounds like me....I'm autistic.
Now, when I hear the word "Schizoid," I understand that it describes me to a "T!"😵💫
So Mr.Vaknin
Is the supposed "sigma" man really just man whose schizoid?
As you correctly noted: "supposed". Online nonsense.
@@nothingnessnonarcissism so I guess people who consider themselves sigma are just suffering from schizoid disorder
The only difference between a loner and a loser is the N of narcissism.
"schizoid is highly self sufficient and not in need of anyone"
isn't that a psychopath
whats the difference between psychopaths and schizoid in this regard
Search the comorbidities playlist on my main channel.
Ive got to research schizoid pd
This man saves lives thank you Sam 🎉🎉🎉😊