Don't Be Stupid! Enough is Enough!
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- Опубликовано: 2 июн 2023
- There is disagreement as to whether people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder have an IQ which is higher than the average (Carver, 1977), or lower (Swirsky-Sacchetti, 1993). The same debate rages over NPD and psychopathy.
But this may be the wrong question. IQ tests measure types of intelligence that have little to do with life skills and perspicacity (wisdom).
The cluster B personality disordered are pseudo-stupid (covert) and stupid (overt, grandiose): their grandiosity (a severe cognitive distortion) impairs their reality testing and self-efficacy and it alienates people, narrowing their opportunities and subjecting them to adversity.
They often lack impulse control, are defiant and contumacious, or decompensate under stress. These drawbacks guarantee frustration or worse.
They are dissociative, so are bad at learning from past experiences.
They are entitled and manic, so never plan thoroughly or execute with attention to detail.
They are immature: the mental equivalents of children. This renders them naive and gullible. They leverage the appearance of infantile haplessness to signal: please don’t hurt me!
Most of them suffer from identity disturbance and so unable to maintain continuity and coherence. They depend on others for external regulation of a sense of self-worth (NPD) or of emotions and moods (BPD). This dependency involves alloplastic defenses and a paralyzing external locus of control.
These dark personalities may be Machiavellian but they are so embedded in fantasy, paranoid, and firewalled by defenses that they are not very good at deceiving people or manipulating them in the long run. This is why they resort to entraining and coercion.
Finally, cluster B personalities are post-traumatic and compensatory. Broken and false. They also tend to abuse substances or develop addictions.
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com/stores/page/60...
The Coverts really really makes me sick. They are so dangerous to mental health
I love Vaknins giggle lol. Its adorable yet maniacal
Can't' wait to listen to your talk about the people who "refuse to see the truth" of the weird behaviors...and I'm not talking about the narcissists or borderlines...I'm talking about the "flying monkeys"
They’re just part of the cult.
My friend, you are a living, breathing founding father of one of the most pernicious and interwoven sides of psychology today. Side by side such luminaries as Freud, Thorndike, Binet, Harlow & yes Wundt....to name too many. May your words, ideas and solutions spread far and wide for decades to come. Salute! {paid for by the Sam Vaknin "Don't Even Pack, Just Leave" foundation circa 1994 🤔😁
‼️👍😆🤣🤗‼️
PS. Preach On.🎉
❤ yes, You are. I wish I was born later so I can avoid a lot of narcissistic abuse. In my youth there was no awareness of it
@@jolapl6125Same here.
I congratulate you for pioneering these new frontiers we so desperately need. We are the world.
Very true. I remember thinking, "He thinks he is clever by acting stupid"
Congratulations!
The knowledge of the existence of NPD saved my life.
I first discovered everyone else's channels, once I found your channel it was as if I had found the Bible about NPD.
Thank you for your work.
As always, Brillant and humorous delivery of a terrifying, serious subject.
My mom's husband was a high school math teacher and he thought he was a genius at all times. He can't spell at all, has full on dyslexia. He compensates by having a book in his hand all the time, claiming to be reading. Only as an adult is it clear to me that he was not a good mechanic, not good at carpentry, or home repairs, as everything around him is falling apart and he refuses to fix anything. Of course he is too cheap to pay someone to fix it.
I can relate to this. I thought that i'm smart because I was good at school, studying etc. But as i get older i started to realise, people who seemed stupid to me are accomplished more than me: create families, work higher paid jobs, build houses etc. Now i think stupid one was me. I'm intelligent, but not smart in life in general. Also i think it's partly how i was raised: at school main message was like you're so smart, you have bright future, my parents message was be good at school. Because of my stupidity i believed I'm good, "i've done it" by being good at school.
Thanks Professor Vakim: These insights into narcissism have helped me understand the bizarre confusing environment of my family and how escaping is/was the only route to peace of mind.
*Vaknin
Thank you so much for your channel. Children in the USA are now being made aware. Of narcissism. Congratulations on your vast body of work! You will go down in history as the Father of Narcissistic Awareness!
I have learned so much from you in 4 yrs I'm going to tell you that you literally saved my life. After a disastrous marriage of 33 yrs, I could have never contemplated how I was complicit at the hands of the very new diagnosis you've coined, the malignant narc psychopath that switches at will from overt to covert like an angel demon illiterate autistic bipolar borderline wrapped up in one false identity. No one in the US, no psychologist has any path to that in the DSM5. The dark triad is pure insanity.
I just wrote almost the same as you. Less yrs tho stillhere, got divorce but not letting me move--physically, bought court & police, and yet I'd not be here w/o Sam, and despite my love & apprec for Richard Grannin, Sam is the depth I've needed for the extreme circumstances I've been in. It's so horrible--I keep writing on my phone, in >2 yrs that I've had the app on my Android phablets written 2+ billion words. I have to document this. I'm not creative--No one who's created movies or what read is even close to how I've been done, while I do all the work (to death) which is quivalent of digging holes so cannot appear as productive as I am, ans it is a death camp if 6 pets and you're required and it comes with enforcement if you dint--I knew say 6 had to leave immediately but a crooked system in county live appearance of aid and denial of voice! So many burried in the name of honoring their greed, aversion to legitimate suffering their lives anc putting it upon another, so their God is actually their addiction to their anger/control--only way can allievoat3 their anxiety--they're constantly so fearful and do feel so preferred to bd the victim and know who I an, and not letting his or others determine that I remain loyal to being integral with my soul's center, always love. Still I loves Rochard Grannon's vid where he says we have to stop pitying these ppl--no one wins. They dint deserve the entitled reinforcing that it provides, cause they wint take it as it's really meant, but that they are right, or have the right
Gosh, I must clear cache! Sorry about the terrible tupos-- only one to correct so understanding what I'd written, I'd meant that by day 6 after wedding, I knew bc he said, all that lovey dovey stuff? That's gone now, bc I'm gonna..(remain a bachelor), and you're gonna ...3 meals a day, no qife of mine's gonna call in business owners all day," blah blah blah--I've not been able to relax in almost 14 yrs
Understanding the inability of these people to ever correct their course nutralizes the trauma bond they create with in their victims. Once you understand their profound limitations, all you want to do is run away as fast as you can.
Bringing sanity into these crazy situations.
You are still the man Prof Sam. Thank you for giving us a voice and validating that we are not crazy. I lived with a whole family of pathological narcs. It is only this past year with your teachings I know what in the hell happened. Stay well.
This is so helpful, people are not aware 😢
I’ve had the same and had to go no contact
Yes you made difference. I analyzed similiarities three people close to me. I typed observations such as ego, jealousy, direct stare etc boom your name came up with narcissim. Year 1999. I thank you so much.
They say laughter can be healing. Thanks Sam 🙃
I always know when I listen to your words, I'm being educated to the highest degree. And yet at times I laugh so hard because what your saying is true and factual and at the same time comedic! This is the type of Professor you'd show up to class everyday without reservation! ❤😂
Congratulations Dr Vaknin. You have no idea how much you have helped me cope with my narcissist.
I have taken a snapshot of you and internalised you, Sam Vaknin. Every time a narcissist hovers near me YOU appear saying, "No! Don't be a schlemiel! Ignore! No eye contact!"
I’m borderline and I find myself enjoying your company . You are so funny and sarcastic gotta love it
Thank You Prof Sam 🙏
Exactly!! The 4 I deal with have no wisdom. Poor life skills and seem to never learn what they need to learn.
I am loving the latest titles of these videos
Thank you 🙏
Beautiful! I loved it, you are amazing! Thank you,
Well said Professor Vaknin.
Two books. The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker and Safe People by Henry Cloud. Discern character and behavior.
De Becker has great podcasts. Common sense.
Women and men live in two different worlds when it comes to safety. Charm is a verb, not a virtue. Niceness does not equal goodness. GDB
People either contribute to a relationship in a healthy manner or they contaminate it. .
😮 Thank you for continuing to educate me. 🌞
as always this again explains everything ❤
Thank you for spreading awareness.
So Grateful for you Sam 🙏🙏☺️ so much love from Albuquerque shared.
I find relief in your videos , thank you Doctor !
It is the narcissistic aspect within each of us that needs the light of awareness so that it can be transmuted and authenticity be released from its grip. Let he without sin etc.
Congratulations and a heartfelt Thank you.🎉
Congratulations and thank you😀❤🌷
Thank you for the information and perspective 💖🙏
You always bring me down to earth ❤
great video!
thank you
Thank-you Prof....Shoshanim. Congratulations to you ❤
Congratulations Mr Vaknin, thanks for sharing your experience with us. X
Dear Prof. Vaknin, you have done amazing work. Thank you.
You are the absolute best! The OG and the ultimate source. Thank you. You HAVE made the difference.
Thank you for explaining this Professor Vankin.
Thank you Sam
Great in depth teaching...Thankyou!
I congratulate you!
Great Info Sam….very eye opening and explains the things I have experienced with my partner in detail. Thanks so much.
Thank you ❤
Your have earned bragging right.Thank you
Congratulations and thank you. 🙋♀️
Thank you
Thank you so much, Sam for everything you've done and congratulations!!! 💗
Congratulations Mr. Vaknin. And thank you for sharing your wisdom and knowledge.
indeed why !why are they so dangerous ? its because they are so so stupid they creat chaos & destruction , thats because they have syphilis inherited or aquired from parents , a chronic desease that is not is not diagnosed by GP .
Excellent explanation
You are fantastic, sorry forget to thank you before, absolutely my apologies. Feel so bad about it. I feel more then gratitude for your fantastic explanation about those topics of psychology. Outstanding job.
thank you!
You're fantastic!!!👌💕
Brilliant Sam keep them coming xx
Thanks to talk and prevent from the narc abuses 🎉
You are appreciated, yes you have made a difference
Yeah I’ve watched this before ❤ thx 🙂 I don’t care if someone is stupid, I just find it difficult not being able to communicate with them
Amazing !
Sam, I have to say, I do love the way you speak, your accent, and as always, the hair and tshirt are perfect.
U r looking great Sam. Great, insightful video as always, and so funny (if Narcissism can ever be funny) and true. Good health and long may you continue...
Sam, I love it! When you have to congratulate yourself. I know what you mean. Sometimes, there is no love out there but self-love. Sometimes we are our only friend, the only one that gives us attention, the only one that lifts us up, the only one that gives us inspiration, the only one that gives us confidence and blocks out the ones that try to take it, the only one that has the power to give to ourselves as we have enough strength to help others. We are amazing.
I'm also glad you created a cottage industry. It's helped me to understand what's really going on with a lot of people. It's helped immensely to avoid narcissists and falling into their tactics.
As far as intelligence is concerned, I think they come in all flavors. They often seem more intelligent, IMO, because they are so scheming and manipulative. They spend their IQ on things most of us don't. How they adapt their lies and histrionics at lighting speed is mid boggling to many of us. Maybe there's another kind of Q that needs to be measured, we can call it the Machavellian Quotient. 😊
You have made a difference. I am a survivor! It is a narcissistic world we have to live in.. We all have these tendencies.......
You have made a difference, a big difference. The comments following your videos prove this. You have helped me understand what I was forced to accept . What was once unimaginable.
Thank you.
this is incredibly so close to what I have just experienced @sam vaknin I love your work life long fan now. I have been looking at your work for a couple of years now. Thank you so much.
You are amazing and unique on this subject! Thank you.
🙏🏻😻🧿
You are right, I have an impulse control. I’ m both diagnosed bpd and bipolar. I think I’ m also grandiose and secondary psychopath. But with therapy and years, I mean “getting old” helped me a lot to deal with myself. I’ m better than before. Don’ t give up! 💪🏻💃🏻🧿❤️🩹🏝
Finally a decent beginning timestamp for your videos, bravo! Raffaella
Yes, when one does not learn from mistakes, that is the height of Stupidity!
I confirm your acknowledgement sir.Over ten years ago you were the only one who had content on it. Unfortunately, we live in a world where people know who is credible but choose to opt out of admitting it ,if a mainstream unfamiliarity is perceivable.Its a demographic thing.
I continue to thank you for your groundbreaking work Sam. (My personal experiences tell me that borderlines have a lower IQ than average whilst NPD have a higher than average IQ?). The pseudo stupidity of the covert narcissist grates on me the most and I can spot it a mile off. These people are like Velcro, they cling so much and on grandiosity, why do they believe that other people are jealous of them?
My counselling is going well and I have started volunteering at the library. I might even get a phoenix tattoo to celebrate my recovery! Thanks Professor Vaknin
He explained in another video that borderlines have a higher IQ then average people and narcs a lower one .
@@kaylapenedo6900 Oh, OK, if that's the case, I stand corrected.
He talks about it in this one also. Intelligent Quotent really doesn't mean a great deal in terms of common sense or emotional maturity so it's a bit irrelevant really 😂👍
@@jamesmccaul2945 🤣
Congratulations ❤
Sharing in my playlist.
Wow😮. The end left me speechless.
You helpt me to to understand and free myself from my narc.ex.
Thank you!
Thank you :-)
Great video
Mr. Vaknin- thank you for always stating your credentials. There is a lot of bull-butter out there relating to the topics discussed on your channel. I have been seeing you on RUclips for years and very much respect your work and your candidness.
Sam, Sie sind das Beste was mir passieren konnte und ein Segen für uns alle.. Danke!✨
Kann er Deutsch verstehen? Er kommt aus Nordmazedonien.
@@ghenulo... Wofür gibt es hier in youtube die integrierte Sprachübersetzung?!😉
Wer will, mag sie nutzen...
Congratulations Sam . And thank you what you are doing ?
Congratulations!
Congratulations 🎉
Thank You!
Yes it is. He has multiple channels.
@@Popgenpop Thank you. I was just trying to protect his rights. He posted on his other channel to me, confirming what you said.
@@NunYa-db7jy No problem
Avoidance is a good one like Ghosting
Congratulations 😊
Brutal assessment but completely true
We love the hair too🎉❤
Kol ha kavod Sam! Ur simple the best!
My dear friend, I congratulate you!. 🍷Your brain child, your legacy is out of this world. Who else can show to the world this brain child better than his creator. Reason, truth and will conquered stupidity in your narcself. No one else can deliver the way you do. I appreciate a great mind and soul. Keep parenting your brain child, take him to keep searching into the human nature, we have no time to waste . Well done my dear friend, well done.🙏
Thank you 🌿 Sam Vaknin
You're not only the best, but this is by far the ultimate video that crosses the t-s and dotted the i-s for me!
A long time ago, I heard the observation: 扮豬吃老虎 meaning "The tiger imitates the pig (to look foolish.)" but of course, we do now realize that the pig may look stupid to some, it is in fact quite an intelligent animal!
I realize now that a bite from this innocent looking piggy 🐷 is as fatal as the claws of a tiger 🐅
More importantly, that was the only person I heard using that phrase, and it wasn't repeated for some 60 years until now!
This remark has taught me a lot in life, and of course, I learned from the best, the hard way, by experience 😉
So, congratulations to you, Sam Vaknin, and chapeau 🎩
You are a 🏆
This is such an 👁 opener! It teaches us to avoid the bullies, the crazies, and especially the ignorants, who are ultimately going to destroy the world if it wasn't for people like you.
Respect 🙏
Congratulations! Sam.
Thanks for the explanation of modern women
Yes yes yes, Sudo stupid. Covert narc
My life for 24 yrs. I’ve been no contact 6 mo & I’ve had many visions of truth. This has hit on all my thoughts.
I’m glad I have the intelligence to understand all that you speak.
Thank you😊
Congratulations 🎉and many thanks to you as a few years ago after I was looking for answers, you where my first discovery of this subject thank goodness ..though I had to really concentrate because of your high intellectual status. Lol or maybe that's educational level..but thanyou
I love the way you drink a big ole glass of red! You are fun💕💕💕💕💕💕
😊GVB❤🎉 ..makes sense, something shady has got to be hanging on narcissism. I, myself seem to be be lower in intelligence by the way I have have handled my encounter with this/these psycho- narcissist (s)..❤ My IQ is quite high. Southern hospitality is part of my upbringing from the day I was born ; gentitity and soft spoken communication is way of life here in the deep south. There are no words to describe the angst of watching the envious narcissist fail time after time scheming and losing the support of others to "help them keep failing. ❤🎉
While you were beginning Sam, I was doing the hard research! In the trenches! 😂