I'm glad I found your page...my ex is a narcissist and all I found on the subject is for narcissists victim...but no one wants to pray for the narcissist..
There is a huge lack in the current Christian circles for authenticity and transparency and depth. This disorder requires a real Jesus not religion. Please don’t get discouraged! You’re just starting! Marriages need your stories! Blessings
Ben, I am a licensed mental health counselor and have been intensely studying narcissism, codependency and CPTSD for quite some time. I was pleasantly surprised to find you/this video. As you have probably already learned, one of the main reasons people with pathologically narcissistic patterns don't get help is because it is a shame and trauma based condition. And while many of the experts (therapists, life coaches, etc.) are relatively careful in terms of their wording, there is often angry and villainizing language used in content (geared towards helping "victims" of narcissistic abuse). I was reared by a Christian mother who most likely fits the descriptor of "vulnerable" narcissist (father being the "silent enabler"). So, I totally get the pressure of having to appear a certain way outwardly while having a private experience that is confusing, shame inducing and harmful to self (no chance for secure attachment and authenticity) and others around us. There are so many people who have narcissistic patterns that I truly believe, could get help...but the stigma (and inherent challenge of a very undesirable label) is a recipe for people who desperately need and deserve help, to instead, not have access because they would never be drawn to content that is in direct conflict with how they are "supposed" to be (chaste, selfless, humble). I look forward to seeing more of your content and please know, what you are doing is so very needed. Everybody deserves the chance for a balanced, peaceful and healthy life. And as long as society tries to separate people into categories of "good" and "evil"...humanity will continue to suffer for it. Thank you so very much. Happy for you on your road to recovery!
@@tbz1209 codependency turns us into "victims" of our own disorder (not victims of the narcissist) and we become survivors when we let go of the self victimization.
I like that you are looking to find answers for those people on the spectrum who CAN change and WILL change if the right approach is used. However, there truly IS EVIL in this world and many narc victims have looked EVIL directly in the eyes and it will make your soul shudder. I know the popular teachings these days all involve either hopeless "incurable" labels which remove all ways people CAN help themselves from the equation OR teachings that imply everyone is actually good, they just have unconscious programs running that need to be addressed and then everyone will be fine. Neither is fully correct. There ARE demons, and they can be cast out if the person is willing. And there are people who WANT to work with demons, or who are basically walking demons with no desire to change. Some "LOVE" wickedness-period. I say this because my naievety to evil almost got me killed on multiple occassions. I want EVERY WILLING person to be able to heal, change, and grow, no matter how much evil they USED TO be connected to. But I have zero empathy for the ones who REFUSE to "go to God/love/light/truth" and do their own hard inner WORK....the ones who are truly comitted to evil.
God bless you, Ben!!! This is your testimony!!!! Don’t ever let anyone take that away from you. All are born into darkness, into sin. We all have a veil blinding us from truth. Your story is the perfect picture of how God has brought you out of the dark and into the light. We’re never perfect but with the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit and the Bible, we can continue to walk with Jesus, who is all truth. Thank you for having the courage to own up to your past failures and share your story. It’s what every Christian should be doing!
She been beaten up badly and last person they need to trace her cell phone please two black eyes ok and busted up lip ok I am scared for her safety and we'll being ok
I will be honest, when I learned that you were a Christian, I started listening to you more. You are being used by God for sure. Nobody is talking about this in Christian circles... good for you! Keep it up!
Your authenticity evidently makes many so-called Christians uncomfortable, triggers their shame because they realize they are frauds and fear being exposed. Too many Christians use their pseudo religiousness as a mask to hide behind and a "calling-card" to gain the respect and trust which they would otherwise never earn if others could see who they really are. You are a threat to their facade. Thank you for your honesty, vulnerability, authenticity and commitment... God works miracles for and through people like you who are willing to acknowkedge their faults and bad behaviour and sincerely desire change.
Same here! It’s hard to find good Christian guidance on this subject. For the most part it’s either against God or it’s so submerged in man made religion that poor souls get stuck in toxic abusive relationships forever. So happy to have found Ben. I did find one lady that seems good. Kris Reese ministries. She gets a lot of push back from the religion dipped types of Christians. I believe the Bible from front to back. No where does it say it’s okay to be abused. God is using Ben for amazing things.
Been looking for this content. As a Christian, this is encouraging for me since I have a narcissist in my life who Im dealing with. Im getting discourage bec i keep praying for this person. I know it's almost impossible for narcis to change but at the same time, God's truth says nothing is impossible with God.
God put a narcissist in your life to show you something. To learn - not to stay. Because this person will continue to abuse you, they're disconnected and demonic. It's going to take you a while to understand that you were never meant to stay with them. Run while you can, pray for God to give you the right opportunity for you to leave...
I have just discovered the marriage recovery center and Dr Hawkins here on RUclips. Prior to this discovery, I have had the Lord bless me in the discovery of dealing with the strife that is constantly being stirred up in our home. I have long shared with my husband that I am not his enemy. Only in the past few days have I begun to see the strife as the tool of the enemy of our soul s, and begin to go to war. I am feeling the strength and the power of the Holy Spirit to stand up when I am being blamed for simply being human. The hurt that I have had over the past 29 years is not able to have the place in my life as I truly grasp the source and take those things captive by the power of Christ in me. I recognize that satan wants nothing more than to divide my husband and me and to destroy our witness to all who know us. I have talked with my husband and shared that when I recognize those things happening I will stand with him in prayer for the defeat of the enemy’s power over us, as a cord of three strands will not be easily broken. Praying for victory among the saints as the world would give no hope, but Jesus does! Blessings to you in your journey over narcissism and whatever else the enemy may use against you. Our God is victorious and so are we!
It is a lie that Christians shouldn’t share their struggles. That’s one of the reasons people stay away from God and churches. I appreciate you being vulnerable so much and you give me so much hope for my Christian family members who are narcissistic. I pray that God will do in their lives what He has done in yours.
I'm really sorry to hear that the Christians were most shaming, uninterested, non supportive. In my opinion churches are a breeding ground for narcissist. Maybe that's why they don't want to discuss it. You seem to be very sincere, keep sharing the church needs to see and talk about the dysfunction within the homes, families, marriages, etc.
Absolutely! I almost killed myself three times in my marriage to a narcissist. He was raised in church and pastored a church for 12 years... (he took the role as pastor without discussing it with or praying with me and our kids.) He treated me worse when he was a pastor. Thankfully, God intervened and gave me the courage to stand up to my husband, set boundaries, and walk completely away from "his" church.
I admire your courage in being vulnerable with your struggles. It is hard in the christian community to share our sin because like you said, it is often looked upon with shame. It's easier to say our struggle for the week has been "not reading my Bible enough" instead of saying the truth, whatever that might be. It's sad, because God calls us to be open and honest and to share our sin with each other, as we all fall short. I hope you can find that community. I, too, have shamed my husband, because I thought by doing so he would feel guilty enough to get help. But he doesn't want it, and I can't make him. And shame I have learned is not from God. It distorts the truth and takes us further from love. It traps us into believing lies. But hearing stories like yours gives me hope that one day my husband could find his way. And I hope that if he does, that he is met with gracious people who will help him on the straight and narrow. And I hope you find that too, as it is a gift, and seems harder and harder to find.
Also, I have written a poetry book for my husband (from the beginning of our relationship to the discard and after) and was wondering if you would be willing to read it and give me your honest opinion? I'm not sure if you even like to read, or if you would have time, but it would mean the world if it is something that interests you. I published it under a fake name and have yet to give it to my husband. It is written from a perspective of faith but also includes strong language (I wanted to be honest). It goes back and forth, as does grief, but I am genuinely curious to see someone's reception of the book that has npd, and I don't know anyone other than my husband who has it. I want to know if it could actually help people with NPD and people on the receiving end of npd. I would send you the book and wouldn't ask you for anything other than your honest opinion. The book is titled "Where's My Love" and is on Amazon if you want to preview it to see if you'd be interested in reading it. It's under my pen name Elena Avery. No pressure if this doesn't interest you. I just thank you for taking the time to read my comments. But if it does, please let me know and I will send you a copy (for free of course). Either way, thank you for all you're doing to spread awareness. It might not feel like you're helping people, and people might shame you for it, but keep pressing forward. God will put the right people on your path to help you and for you to help them. Here's my email if you want a copy of my book: elenaaverypoet@gmail.com
Being a Christian doesn't mean you are perfect, it's about a relationship with Christ, acknowledging our flaws, voicing them and being real. Offering grace mercy and forgiveness to ourselves and others. You are doing awesome!
The people in church need to get the knowledge about narcissism and narcissist abuse so they can help my brothers and sisters in Christ. Time to wake up the church. Keep sharing my brother
Ben. I am married to an "unaware" narcissistic husband, who professes to be a Christian. I am a Christian. We both attend church regularly. I am in my sixties. It sounds like your journey started with letting God show you clarity. It is troubling to me to hear that people in the Christian community criticized you for what you are doing to help other people. I have come to a point in my life where I realize that God uses people to accomplish His will. He uses all kinds of people in various situations. He did this in the Bible also. I just want to encourage you to continue doing what you are doing to help people see the truth. I pray that God will continue to use you and guide you with His wisdom. Blessings to you and your family.
Ohmygosh, I turn to Pastor to help me deal with narc hus who was cheating and helping in the church. I was told, I don't know what to say-by this Pastor. I eventually left that church. Later on I thought I may have been unknowingly smeared by narc hus. at church. I was so sad and confused.
Love rejoices in the TRUTH !! Thank you for sharing … For those of us who have been on the receiving end of a narcissist it’s Really Really hard to trust anything or anyone.
I'd give just about anything to have that trust again... My last relationship was 4 years ago with a narcissist and I still can't even consider another relationship. Thank you for your perspective, Ben. Truly.
I'm not Christian, but this message and recovery process is critical in the world today. Many societies and a goodly portion of our world population suffer from NPD (narcissistic personality disorder), and it's so hard to "fix" that psychiatrists will turn away people who have it as "uncurable." Thank you for being brave enough to be honest, and taking the heroic personal leap necessary to introspect and improve yourself day by day. It isn't easy, and will be a lifelong journey - but it is definitely worth it. If we're ever going to have a society that isn't "law of the jungle" - where power and the appearance of perfection leads to dominance and self-gratification over all - we need a mass awakening much like your own. Bravo, I hope you do thrive and show more people that being sorry and trying to change/improve isn't a sin.
Ben what you are doing is laying up treasures in Heaven. Keep going! Your obvious honesty and sincerity shine through as the genuine Christian that you are. I have a narcissist relationship very close to me and I am still suffering mental anguish that is translating into physical ill health as well and I have watched many of your videos in an effort to understand this person. I pray for them many times a day and night.Your own honesty gives me HOPE. Thank you. 💯🙏🙏
I totally respect your honesty! .. I’m not religious, but each to their own, who are they to judge, anywho eh… I’m glad you’re changing your ways and helping others, really appreciate your information .. I’m from uk.. have a blessed 😇 day 🦋
Ben amazing, God is real and are at work. For someone to say i am a narcissist, can only be from our heavenly father. I an married to a Christian narcissist and he will never admit. For I trust after divorce he will see the light. Thank you for your honesty. God will remember you. X
God bless you Ben! Thank you for your testimony! Your story has helped me to understand what was happening to me in my marriage. I belong to a group called Celebrate Recovery, it is a Christian group where we encourage one another in our struggles and we share our honest testimonies to help others. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1.
You have been a blessing to me. To expose that demonic spirit especially when you are/were the narcissist takes the piwer of God to stand. I'm a person who loves true believers. The only way to worship God is in spirit and in truth. Thanks for being true
Hats off to you! It's obvious that God is doing a great work in your life! Keep going & continue to spread your message! There's a lot of hurting people out there that are searching for truth & God is using you as a vessel to bring awareness & help them! Even though I'm a Christian & survivor of narcissistic abuse, you have certainly helped me to understand what narcissism is all about. Thank you! Prayers for your continued success!
I’m a Christian and I’m so proud of your journey of honesty and I’m thankful for the videos you make about narcissism! It really teaches me a lot about what my ex did to me 🥺. You being honest about your past and trying to truly change is sooo powerful it’s what a real Christian does. My ex narc was the opposite in which he didn’t change & instead pretended to be a Christian just to control and destroy me. I don’t understand when Christians judge others or don’t want talk to someone because of the mistakes they made in the past bc every single one of us are sinners that’s why Jesus had to come save us. Jesus said he “did not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance”. I believe that a narcissist legitimately being born again & turning to God is the coolest most amazing thing to have ever happen bc it doesn’t happen often! You have a great testimony God bless you I appreciate your insight on narcissism a lot ✝️🙏🏼😇
The Lord bless you and keep you he makes his face to shine upon you he is gracious to you he lifts up his countanence upon you and he turns his face towards you and he gives you his beloved his PEACE 🌈🌈
I’m glad you kept going and doing these videos, they have helped me greatly!! Unfortunately for the masses ignorance is bliss! Especially in church!! ❤️
I just want to say "Thanks Ben" for putting yourself out there, your work helps and will help alot of people understand that what they went through and what they are going through is 💯 REAL!!! I am glad u have acknowledged being a Narc and trying to make people aware of their harsh reality...keep making content, there are people like me, who need to have an understanding about what they've been through and that the survivor of narcissism is NOT TO BLAME!
P.S. most narcs will look like a deer frozen in car headlights even while doing a video. You Seem extremely calm and soothed. Narcs have an almost panicked look in their eyes almost all the time.
God Get the Glory, currently married to a narcissistic behavior husband but I’m pressing through with the power of the Holy Spirit. we all need to stop hiding our sins and be free in Jesus mighty name!!!
No community is accepting of narcissists because of the havoc they can reek and boundaries they stomp all over, Christian or not. The behavior is what’s shameful. You can be a narcissist but you’re a human that’s still deserving of love. But it takes work to stop those behaviors. Keep doing the work and being honest with yourself and everyone around you… things can get better but YOU are the one that has to do the most work. As a 38 year old woman raised by a narcissist Christian dad and an enabling mother… I’ve got issues with men and church. I left home at 18 and joined the army to get away from my dad, didn’t speak for many years. You are doing the right thing by being honest about it. I hope you are in therapy and not “counseling” with a Christian minister (barely any therapists have experience with narcissist, it’s tricky for them; so I don’t feel like pastors have the depth for this.. no fault of their own, but let’s be honest… if you’d never come to this realization… you could easily still be fooling them!). Either way… good on you for reaching this level of self awareness. Get everyone one in therapy so they don’t accept just living in dysfunction and have tools to help them address issues when they arise. That’s the best thing you can do for your family.
It says in the Bible that in the end days that nothing will remain hidden..not anything..and I really believe this is all part of His plan and expose people doing a lot of wrong behind closed doors in secret...it’s like a great exposure of evil is happening right now. Thank you Ben for being so candid and humble to admit the full truth...the Bible also says the truth sets you free...it does it really does.
God bless you, and thank you for sharing! I hope through your testimony that other people with narcissism can gain the insight that they need to start healing.
Thank you for not allowing discouragement from stoping you from sharing, you have no idea how much you helped, when not even my couselor of seversl years could help me understand that i was dealing with a narcissist. I was so confused about my relationship the way my fiance was treating me, untill ond day after fasting and praying for God to give me direction in my relationship, the word narcissist poped on my mind and when i search the word, i found you and 3 other Christians counselor experienced with NPD that by Gods grace help me dig out of this dark whole i was in, break of my engagement and leave this toxic relationship. praise God 🙏
Thank you for being authentic, Ben. Healing can only come through truth. Thank you for your courage and for letting God use you and your story to help others. God bless you and your family in your journey. Proud to call you a brother in Christ.
Thank you for stepping up. You're a beacon of hope that narcissistic tendencies can be healed through our journey as humans. I tended to attract them... I've been married to one... Still, your journey is giving me hope. I felt sad whenever I researched this because the narrative is dismal. Usually the only solution really is to leave narcissists to their little hells. Never sat well with me. It felt limited and really undermined human spirit and divine guidance and miracles. I learned much from your story and I appreciate you so much. Keep fighting forward! Subscribed
My husband is doing the very same to me and im praying for a break through so i really do appreciate what u r doing and just so u know keep doing what u r doing but most importantly repair it with those that u have hurt. The only ppl u should do right with is the ones uve hurt urself n god. Ad the bible says the truth will set u free. God is the best at this...n thats why i trust my situation will change before its to late.
Thank you for your honesty. The truth sets us free. Thank you for acknowledging the harmful effects of narcissism because recovery from it takes a long time.
God bless you, my brother!!! We heartbroken sisters need more honest men to step up and take personal ownership of their ungodly "stuff". On behalf of all the sisters that have been hurt by the men in our lives, thank you. Hope the Lord will honor your honesty amd bless your future!
Thank you for sharing! I found you in my search looking for a real personal testimony of a narcissist that really did change through Jesus. I did not know if there was hope for my loved one. I do not plan to be personally involved, leaving it to The Lord.
I struggle with the idea that narcissists can truly be Christian. My Narc stepdad claims to be a Christian. He was a youth Sunday school teacher, oversaw the usher board, tithed regularly etc, yet he was a complete tyrant at home since I was 12. He conditioned me to date narcissistic men based on the family system I experienced growing up. I’ve almost exclusively dated “Christian” men whom I later discovered were also covert narcissists. Each of them tried to destroy me & wreaked havoc in my life. Christian narcissist sounds like an oxymoron. I’ll let God be the final judge on this topic.
I don’t think they can if they aren’t repentant or working on it. I don’t think there is anything called Christian abuse. I think those are just abusers.
The very same story! My family "conditioned me to date narcissistic men based on the family system I experienced growing up." They were "Christian" men as well. And just liked I experienced with my Mom, they were abusive away from the sight of others, and great "Christian" men to the public and my family!
I applaud you for facing such deep seeded fears and I appreciate you taking charge in your responsibility to self. As you have become aware, this allows goodness to others.
Ben, we need more of you in this world. PERSONAL TRUTH AND HONEST LIVING, AUTHENTIC SELF ABOVE ALL. Going forward day by day on this path only brings positive energies into one’s life. Keep the faith, my dear! You are ENLIGHTENED! 🤘
Actually I literally stood silent, jaw dropped, few seconds after finishing the video😮...this talk has so many axes that resonate with the position im at, including christianity, honesty, narc. Hadn't i tried it on my skin, i wouldnt believe how it works with narcs. I've watched around 100 hours video on youtube last 3 years on narcs /codependents from therapists and/or codependents in a hell with narc's or already escaped them. All say run from them, run asap. This is first video, for me, of a healing narc, the other part of the coin... From another angle. 🤔 And your wife hast run from you, while you're getting better through this journey! Cheers to that 🎉
Love your story! God is a healer, with God all things are possible… I believe God can even heal the narcissist. My husband is a narcissist and a minister and we’ve been separated a year and I’m praying for him to be fully healed and delivered. I won’t stop praying 🙏 for him. Your story is inspiring. Even if your story touches a few it’s worth a million! Stay strong in Christ.
WELL WELL DONE YOU, totally admire someone who can turn their life around and see the damage they have done, keep going you are helping others to understand this disorder, thanks Ben.
God appreciates your honesty & He is proud of you!! Am so glad to see a Christian narcissist 😊. Many utube videos said Narcissist never change. And i kept thinking about it, till the day when God spoke to me saying, nothing is impossible with God!! God can change Narcissists..!
Looking forward to the day, when you start praying for the people at the end of your Videos. 30 sec prayer of deliverance, condolence, encouragment etc. Praying for and cheering on you daily! Heaven's got you backed up! The court of the elders cheer you on! 🔥
Thank you for this Ben. I am currently working through the book, "Break Free From Narcissistic Mothers," by Hannah Alderete. This is a very challenging road for me. I am my Mother's "caregiver," at least I thought I was for the past 3 years. I have been to so much counseling since I was very young. But it took a huge outburst from my mother to help me see the abuse I went through with my Mom since I was a little girl. In fact there were many outbursts and spiritual abuse for decades. Being that my parents were Pastor's my entire life, up to my Dad retiring, and then passing away 3 years ago, I did not see the dynamics clearly. In fact it was my Dad, right before he passed, who gave me insight into the abuse he suffered at my Mom's hands! There's so much here that I am walking through, but the hard part is that I cannot go completely "no-contact" at this time. But I am making strides with that as well. I will no longer engage at any length beyond 1 minute at a time with my Mom, and I am taking steps to leave this situation asap. Thank you again for this transparency. Keep it up. It's Truth, and we need to truly seen the Lord for healing in this place of His truth!
Thank you Ben so much for not giving up and continuing to share your truth and your content. I believe God led me to your channel and I've been binge-watching your videos every since. I didn't want to believe what God was showing me about a person in my life. But watching your videos forces me to have to accept reality so that I can truly heal and move on from the hopes I had with that person. Thank you for your straightforwardness and honesty. This video alone is encouraging also because there are a lot of things I've tried to do but stopped because of the responses or lack of responses I got from people on my personal page. I like that you said you created a whole different page that no one you knew could see. I think im going to try that. Please keep sharing your journey. I can't wait to see where God leads you. 💛
You are giving me courage to speak out. I'm still afraid of my ex although he can't hurt me. I'd like to reach out to military spouses who are stuck in a marriage w a narcissist.... very common
I just want to say thank you. It takes a whole lot to put yourself and your history out there, narcissist or not. Having been in a relationship with a narcissist, I found your honesty and self awareness very refreshing and hopeful. You're doing an incredible thing and I hope you keep going. Thanks again.
So very very grateful you chose to do this and stuck with it. I feel like you’re saving my brain. Honesty for the benefit of others is something you should never be ashamed of. The narcissists in my life hurt me and continue to. You are confirming it’s not my fault and their actions aren’t ok. Their “Christianity” (dishonesty and apathy) didn’t stop them from hurting me. Yours (honesty and empathy) is helping me.
Wow! As a fellow Christian/Believer it’s sad that you experienced those reactions from other people that say they are “Christians”. I’m so proud of you for coming forward and sharing your story! “They overcome by the blood of The Lamb and the word of their testimony” Revelation 12:11. You’re an over comer and I’m thankful for your posts. Shout out to @MentalHealness for connecting some of us to you. I’m currently getting out of a relationship with a covert narc and it’s hard, it hurts and at the same time I feel sorry for him because of the way he is. I just pray for him and pray for the strength to stay strong. Prayers for you and your family! 🙏🏽❤️
Hi Ben! Thanks for sharing your story of your journey to be authentic, honest and transparent. We need more ppl like you who will shun hypocrisy and tell the truth. The truth will set you free. Jesus is the way, the truth and our life. Follow Him. I’m changing, growing healing from narc abuse also. Continue to share your story of honesty. Grace, Peace & Blessing!
Whatever reasons you're doing it, you're trying to work through things, and if this is part of it, then that is good. Many people will respond with a momentary opinion, but they are not the one living your life, your journey and testimony. If in any way it helps someone, then that is a good thing. If you were just looking for supply, well, that will not be a benefit to you in the end, and so people should not worry unless they are personally affected. I pray God always send you the kind of person prepared to be the support/accountability you need, because not everyone can be, and we can feel negative toward them when that wasn't what they could give. Also, some people are not confident to share their testimony, maybe they feel fearful that it won't help others, isn't good enough... so I wouldn't give up on people who don't feel ready, but actually they need to continue to be in the presence of people who are confident to encourage them one day too. They don't need to pressured about it, because, in time it will come as the Holy Spirit convicts them.
I want to change, I feel like I'm running out of options, I'm not accountable often and I self medicate with idols. I am going to hell if I don't change. God had given me many chances and I rebel. I'm ashamed, I operate in pride and God knows how many others demons. But somehow I still have hope (Holy Spirit has not left me yet) and with you sharing your journey and being honest it confirms hope. We overcome by the Blood and the Word of our testimony! Thank you brother, will try to remember to pray for you as I press through on my journey!
God doesn't change a person until they change what's within themselves and it looks like you want to change for the good, if it's sincere he will guide, aid, protect bless forgive you and so much more. Time is a healer but one thing you must bare in mine is to give those people you hurt space and their own time to heal. Keep going, you got this.
It's hard to know how to take this without having seen your posts and people's reaction to them. I have found the Christian community to be very supportive and helpful when being honest about difficult problems, although I tend to talk to only a few trusted people. People generally want to help, but not everyone knows how. But also, there's a lot that Jesus says in the Bible that is not easy to hear. Sometimes, what people need to hear is not what they want to hear. Celebrate Recover is a Christian recovery group hosted by a lot of churches. It's a good place to start to get over "addictions, habits and hang ups". Part of recovery is being accountable to someone - but not accountable to everyone on social media.
It sounds like he wasn't a part of a legit born again King James bible believing Christian church, or born again Christians. If he was they would only show God's love, support and encouragement.
This gives me some hope for my covert narcissist STBXW. Not to save our marriage, as I don't see that happening right now, but for her. I pray she will one day seek help, and more importantly God. I don't know whether she is truly saved or not.
Thank you for your testimony... I have been worried about Christian culture and not being honest with each other as well. I struggled with a same-sex attraction so without the grade of Jesus I am just a sinner. It's not like I never have been tempted when I become Christian but I want to encourage you brother - you are not a narcissist anymore you are a child of God save thru blood of Christ :) as someone who struggles with same-sex attraction, I needed to renew my thinking with help of God. Done identify yourself with your sin or something you use to do. Blessings ;)
I used to do the pray the gay away when I was in high school. It doesn’t work because you are either gay, bisexual, or straight. Sir do not say you have same-sex attractions because, in reality, you are either GAY or BISEXUAL. Bisexuality ranges from being bi-curious to liking both genders, not demonic possession. I used to be a Pentecostal Christian but now I’m Catholic Christian because of church History. let me tell you the Catholics are right because they aren’t a confused sect that believes in sola scriptura it hurt at first but the truth set me free and I received the Eucharist. Keep in mind the Catholic Church gave us the NT Bible. My Pentecostal aunt is a narcissist who made me feel special whenever I went to church and I became a born-again Christian and received Jesus as my savior. I gave up “my sinful lifestyle” which meant that I lived in a state of mind of self-hate for being gay. Self denial for Jesus in her eyes is to “stop being gay” but that brought nothing but depression and fear. She called it the fear of God which is sad. I noticed that ex-gays are just bisexual people who fulfilled their desires and in the end, they married someone of the opposite sex, some even become Christian and some are atheists who are bi and marry a woman because of society. I'm gay and a Christian. I'm waiting for marriage because I want to be happy bro. the Bible condemns divorce and remarriage yet people practice it today. Your Christian divorced family/friends who are Christians will be denied heaven because it’s a sin to remarry regardless of their feelings. Let’s not forget that early Christians were against anal and oral sex, sodomy is the name and it applied to straight people too. Also, history shows us that left-handed people were killed but now it’s okay to be left-handed. The Bible condemns being left-handed. I’m not going to live scared and depressed. I’m celibate because you need to wait till marriage. I’m cleaner than most people. I have a body count of 3. Not 12 like straight men and women. yet I’m called dirty because I’m gay. This is how I see it. Look at it like this 1. If being gay is wrong we are all condemned regardless, we were created to go to hell and divorced people will come with us. If it’s unfair for us gay people it’s unfair for all of humanity too. God is a JUST GOD. The Bible says that gay people will go to hell, it doesn’t mean practicing gays only but people who have same-sex attractions like you. It means that your thoughts are sin and not temptation too bad. Jesus said if you look at a woman with lust you have committed adultery. This is the homophobic Christian perspective. I’ve encountered things like this too, Some Christians say that faith alone can save. Then I am saved by default but then it’s changed to works that are evidenced of salvation. So some people choose to give up this desire but in the end bro you just put your faith in your works and God will send you to hell because of a dead faith. Faith without works is dead. Many pray the gay away Christians think they will go to heaven and a gay-affirming person like myself is going to hell even though I believe in Jesus. Who is right me the one who is a “progressive” Christian but is called lukewarm because I am gay and believes in Jesus Christ and the resurrection and is waiting till marriage or the one gay who doesn’t trust in Jesus but in himself that is a self-righteous person who thinks they get to go to heaven because they suffered yet to say it’s for Jesus. I think this is where you are sir. I used to be here and I was madly jealous of gay people who are ripped, fit, handsome, well endowed, and get all the sex they want and some are bisexual and become Christian and then I’m seen as the pervert because I didn’t “change” like they did. I'm gay I like men not women. That doesn’t mean that God gave me the ticket to participate in stuff like this. I’m called to be celibate until marriage. I’ll have sex when I am married to a man. If I’m condemned then so are divorced people. Left-handed people. Men with long hair. Women with short hair. Women with alopecia or hair loss will go to hell. But let’s not remember that Samson was an exception. Many things like this are in the Bible. So let me wait until marriage because you marry someone you love and want to grow old with. I want kids and a husband. I’m 20 years old. I thank Jesus for all he has given me. I’m nothing without Him.
You are awesome . God desires truth and the truth will make you free. GOD will bring the right people in your life who are real and hate fake people christian or not. Stay encouraged God has given you this ministry to expose the lies of the devil (under cover christian narcs).Stay with God my brother and trust him to complete the good work he has begun in you.
Thank you Ben. I want to incourage you to keep posting what God ordain you to. I was looking for information about this issue, because my husband is stragling with this and i am born again christian and my husband truly born again, but when Lord reviled me he have narcissistic qualities that hurt me very much and i am praying he will heal from this in Jesus name. My husband will not agnolage this and its difficult to start healing. I dont want our relationship to brake. I know its of God that we got married. I just pray we can overcome this and grow from it and get more closer. ❤️🙏
Thank you so much for this video....I was looking for just one person to say that there is hope for narcissists for change, healing and growth. After what Jesus do for us there has to be hope for people struggling with such a profound selfishness. But where are the testimonies?
Well? Nice to meet you! My name is Charlotte. I'm also a Christian and I married a narcissist. I think what it is, is, Christians are afraid it's going to rub off on them. In the process, I've learned just how pervasive what I've come to call Christian lying is. A lot of people are worried about how they look, but don't want to talk a whole lot about how they are. It's become a major problem I think in even the best of churches. It's occurred to me that a number of churches like to talk about a revival. I don't think it's ever occurred to them that it needs to start with them. Because we lie. About everything. We have Christian colloquialisms that sound really good, but they're still lies. Thanks for sharing!
You are really doing a good job, so don't let anyone discourage you, It's not everyone who will want to speak about the bad or weak side of their lives to help others, as you are doing, and a lots of us are being blessed,. Or else we think we are having a very bad problem as that's what they make you to believe, in away this way we can have compassion for them, as knowing that they are broken hurt people, who also needs help., and compassion..
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I'm glad I found your page...my ex is a narcissist and all I found on the subject is for narcissists victim...but no one wants to pray for the narcissist..
There is a huge lack in the current Christian circles for authenticity and transparency and depth. This disorder requires a real Jesus not religion. Please don’t get discouraged! You’re just starting! Marriages need your stories! Blessings
Ben, I am a licensed mental health counselor and have been intensely studying narcissism, codependency and CPTSD for quite some time. I was pleasantly surprised to find you/this video. As you have probably already learned, one of the main reasons people with pathologically narcissistic patterns don't get help is because it is a shame and trauma based condition. And while many of the experts (therapists, life coaches, etc.) are relatively careful in terms of their wording, there is often angry and villainizing language used in content (geared towards helping "victims" of narcissistic abuse). I was reared by a Christian mother who most likely fits the descriptor of "vulnerable" narcissist (father being the "silent enabler"). So, I totally get the pressure of having to appear a certain way outwardly while having a private experience that is confusing, shame inducing and harmful to self (no chance for secure attachment and authenticity) and others around us. There are so many people who have narcissistic patterns that I truly believe, could get help...but the stigma (and inherent challenge of a very undesirable label) is a recipe for people who desperately need and deserve help, to instead, not have access because they would never be drawn to content that is in direct conflict with how they are "supposed" to be (chaste, selfless, humble). I look forward to seeing more of your content and please know, what you are doing is so very needed. Everybody deserves the chance for a balanced, peaceful and healthy life. And as long as society tries to separate people into categories of "good" and "evil"...humanity will continue to suffer for it. Thank you so very much. Happy for you on your road to recovery!
@@tbz1209 because it is a sick tango and not a solo act
@@tbz1209 codependency turns us into "victims" of our own disorder (not victims of the narcissist) and we become survivors when we let go of the self victimization.
@@tbz1209 thank you, I pray those days are behind me as well
I like that you are looking to find answers for those people on the spectrum who CAN change and WILL change if the right approach is used. However, there truly IS EVIL in this world and many narc victims have looked EVIL directly in the eyes and it will make your soul shudder. I know the popular teachings these days all involve either hopeless "incurable" labels which remove all ways people CAN help themselves from the equation OR teachings that imply everyone is actually good, they just have unconscious programs running that need to be addressed and then everyone will be fine. Neither is fully correct. There ARE demons, and they can be cast out if the person is willing. And there are people who WANT to work with demons, or who are basically walking demons with no desire to change. Some "LOVE" wickedness-period. I say this because my naievety to evil almost got me killed on multiple occassions. I want EVERY WILLING person to be able to heal, change, and grow, no matter how much evil they USED TO be connected to. But I have zero empathy for the ones who REFUSE to "go to God/love/light/truth" and do their own hard inner WORK....the ones who are truly comitted to evil.
Hi I need help please I need to get closer to God. I cannot live like this anymore. I'm going to therapy making it a point to be a better Person
God bless you, Ben!!! This is your testimony!!!! Don’t ever let anyone take that away from you. All are born into darkness, into sin. We all have a veil blinding us from truth. Your story is the perfect picture of how God has brought you out of the dark and into the light. We’re never perfect but with the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit and the Bible, we can continue to walk with Jesus, who is all truth. Thank you for having the courage to own up to your past failures and share your story. It’s what every Christian should be doing!
She been beaten up badly and last person they need to trace her cell phone please two black eyes ok and busted up lip ok I am scared for her safety and we'll being ok
I will be honest, when I learned that you were a Christian, I started listening to you more. You are being used by God for sure. Nobody is talking about this in Christian circles... good for you! Keep it up!
Thank you
Your authenticity evidently makes many so-called Christians uncomfortable, triggers their shame because they realize they are frauds and fear being exposed. Too many Christians use their pseudo religiousness as a mask to hide behind and a "calling-card" to gain the respect and trust which they would otherwise never earn if others could see who they really are. You are a threat to their facade. Thank you for your honesty, vulnerability, authenticity and commitment... God works miracles for and through people like you who are willing to acknowkedge their faults and bad behaviour and sincerely desire change.
Same here! It’s hard to find good Christian guidance on this subject. For the most part it’s either against God or it’s so submerged in man made religion that poor souls get stuck in toxic abusive relationships forever. So happy to have found Ben. I did find one lady that seems good. Kris Reese ministries. She gets a lot of push back from the religion dipped types of Christians. I believe the Bible from front to back. No where does it say it’s okay to be abused. God is using Ben for amazing things.
Kris Reece Ministries is a wonderful resource..I agree! I have listened to a lot of her videos
Yes, I agree! The videos have really helped me and I feel God lead me to this channel 🙌
Been looking for this content. As a Christian, this is encouraging for me since I have a narcissist in my life who Im dealing with. Im getting discourage bec i keep praying for this person. I know it's almost impossible for narcis to change but at the same time, God's truth says nothing is impossible with God.
God put a narcissist in your life to show you something. To learn - not to stay. Because this person will continue to abuse you, they're disconnected and demonic. It's going to take you a while to understand that you were never meant to stay with them. Run while you can, pray for God to give you the right opportunity for you to leave...
I have just discovered the marriage recovery center and Dr Hawkins here on RUclips. Prior to this discovery, I have had the Lord bless me in the discovery of dealing with the strife that is constantly being stirred up in our home. I have long shared with my husband that I am not his enemy. Only in the past few days have I begun to see the strife as the tool of the enemy of our soul s, and begin to go to war. I am feeling the strength and the power of the Holy Spirit to stand up when I am being blamed for simply being human. The hurt that I have had over the past 29 years is not able to have the place in my life as I truly grasp the source and take those things captive by the power of Christ in me. I recognize that satan wants nothing more than to divide my husband and me and to destroy our witness to all who know us. I have talked with my husband and shared that when I recognize those things happening I will stand with him in prayer for the defeat of the enemy’s power over us, as a cord of three strands will not be easily broken. Praying for victory among the saints as the world would give no hope, but Jesus does! Blessings to you in your journey over narcissism and whatever else the enemy may use against you. Our God is victorious and so are we!
It is a lie that Christians shouldn’t share their struggles. That’s one of the reasons people stay away from God and churches. I appreciate you being vulnerable so much and you give me so much hope for my Christian family members who are narcissistic. I pray that God will do in their lives what He has done in yours.
I'm really sorry to hear that the Christians were most shaming, uninterested, non supportive. In my opinion churches are a breeding ground for narcissist. Maybe that's why they don't want to discuss it. You seem to be very sincere, keep sharing the church needs to see and talk about the dysfunction within the homes, families, marriages, etc.
Absolutely! I almost killed myself three times in my marriage to a narcissist. He was raised in church and pastored a church for 12 years... (he took the role as pastor without discussing it with or praying with me and our kids.) He treated me worse when he was a pastor. Thankfully, God intervened and gave me the courage to stand up to my husband, set boundaries, and walk completely away from "his" church.
I admire your courage in being vulnerable with your struggles. It is hard in the christian community to share our sin because like you said, it is often looked upon with shame. It's easier to say our struggle for the week has been "not reading my Bible enough" instead of saying the truth, whatever that might be. It's sad, because God calls us to be open and honest and to share our sin with each other, as we all fall short. I hope you can find that community. I, too, have shamed my husband, because I thought by doing so he would feel guilty enough to get help. But he doesn't want it, and I can't make him. And shame I have learned is not from God. It distorts the truth and takes us further from love. It traps us into believing lies. But hearing stories like yours gives me hope that one day my husband could find his way. And I hope that if he does, that he is met with gracious people who will help him on the straight and narrow. And I hope you find that too, as it is a gift, and seems harder and harder to find.
Also, I have written a poetry book for my husband (from the beginning of our relationship to the discard and after) and was wondering if you would be willing to read it and give me your honest opinion? I'm not sure if you even like to read, or if you would have time, but it would mean the world if it is something that interests you. I published it under a fake name and have yet to give it to my husband. It is written from a perspective of faith but also includes strong language (I wanted to be honest). It goes back and forth, as does grief, but I am genuinely curious to see someone's reception of the book that has npd, and I don't know anyone other than my husband who has it. I want to know if it could actually help people with NPD and people on the receiving end of npd. I would send you the book and wouldn't ask you for anything other than your honest opinion. The book is titled "Where's My Love" and is on Amazon if you want to preview it to see if you'd be interested in reading it. It's under my pen name Elena Avery. No pressure if this doesn't interest you. I just thank you for taking the time to read my comments. But if it does, please let me know and I will send you a copy (for free of course). Either way, thank you for all you're doing to spread awareness. It might not feel like you're helping people, and people might shame you for it, but keep pressing forward. God will put the right people on your path to help you and for you to help them.
Here's my email if you want a copy of my book: elenaaverypoet@gmail.com
This is truth🔥🙌🏻
Being a Christian doesn't mean you are perfect, it's about a relationship with Christ, acknowledging our flaws, voicing them and being real. Offering grace mercy and forgiveness to ourselves and others. You are doing awesome!
The people in church need to get the knowledge about narcissism and narcissist abuse so they can help my brothers and sisters in Christ. Time to wake up the church. Keep sharing my brother
I think being saved and truly being saved, as in a relationship with Christ makes all the difference. ❤
When you started talking about your daughter and you want to be honest to her. Wow! That is amazing! I applaud you for your work.
Bless you, Ben. Narcissism is rampant in our culture and even in our churches, sadly, and also in “Christian” marriages. Thank you for being brave.
Ben. I am married to an "unaware" narcissistic husband, who professes to be a Christian. I am a Christian. We both attend church regularly. I am in my sixties. It sounds like your journey started with letting God show you clarity. It is troubling to me to hear that people in the Christian community criticized you for what you are doing to help other people. I have come to a point in my life where I realize that God uses people to accomplish His will. He uses all kinds of people in various situations. He did this in the Bible also. I just want to encourage you to continue doing what you are doing to help people see the truth. I pray that God will continue to use you and guide you with His wisdom. Blessings to you and your family.
Me as well my friend, great comments..my husband is professing C, but after 35 years I've figured it out. Help us God.
Ohmygosh, I turn to Pastor to help me deal with narc hus who was cheating and helping in the church. I was told, I don't know what to say-by this Pastor. I eventually left that church. Later on I thought I may have been unknowingly smeared by narc hus. at church. I was so sad and confused.
Love rejoices in the TRUTH !!
Thank you for sharing …
For those of us who have been on the receiving end of a narcissist it’s Really Really hard to trust anything or anyone.
Yeah trusting people now is hard! I’d rather be me, myself and I…. 💯☮️
I'd give just about anything to have that trust again... My last relationship was 4 years ago with a narcissist and I still can't even consider another relationship. Thank you for your perspective, Ben. Truly.
I'm not Christian, but this message and recovery process is critical in the world today. Many societies and a goodly portion of our world population suffer from NPD (narcissistic personality disorder), and it's so hard to "fix" that psychiatrists will turn away people who have it as "uncurable." Thank you for being brave enough to be honest, and taking the heroic personal leap necessary to introspect and improve yourself day by day. It isn't easy, and will be a lifelong journey - but it is definitely worth it. If we're ever going to have a society that isn't "law of the jungle" - where power and the appearance of perfection leads to dominance and self-gratification over all - we need a mass awakening much like your own. Bravo, I hope you do thrive and show more people that being sorry and trying to change/improve isn't a sin.
Ben what you are doing is laying up treasures in Heaven. Keep going! Your obvious honesty and sincerity shine through as the genuine Christian that you are. I have a narcissist relationship very close to me and I am still suffering mental anguish that is translating into physical ill health as well and I have watched many of your videos in an effort to understand this person. I pray for them many times a day and night.Your own honesty gives me HOPE. Thank you. 💯🙏🙏
I totally respect your honesty! .. I’m not religious, but each to their own, who are they to judge, anywho eh… I’m glad you’re changing your ways and helping others, really appreciate your information .. I’m from uk.. have a blessed 😇 day 🦋
Ben amazing, God is real and are at work.
For someone to say i am a narcissist, can only be from our heavenly father.
I an married to a Christian narcissist and he will never admit. For I trust after divorce he will see the light.
Thank you for your honesty. God will remember you. X
Thank you Jesus for this testimony.
God bless you Ben! Thank you for your testimony! Your story has helped me to understand what was happening to me in my marriage.
I belong to a group called Celebrate Recovery, it is a Christian group where we encourage one another in our struggles and we share our honest testimonies to help others.
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1.
Great group. I have gone to some
You have been a blessing to me. To expose that demonic spirit especially when you are/were the narcissist takes the piwer of God to stand. I'm a person who loves true believers. The only way to worship God is in spirit and in truth. Thanks for being true
Thank you for sharing...this has saved my life.
Hats off to you! It's obvious that God is doing a great work in your life! Keep going & continue to spread your message! There's a lot of hurting people out there that are searching for truth & God is using you as a vessel to bring awareness & help them! Even though I'm a Christian & survivor of narcissistic abuse, you have certainly helped me to understand what narcissism is all about. Thank you! Prayers for your continued success!
I’m a Christian and I’m so proud of your journey of honesty and I’m thankful for the videos you make about narcissism! It really teaches me a lot about what my ex did to me 🥺. You being honest about your past and trying to truly change is sooo powerful it’s what a real Christian does. My ex narc was the opposite in which he didn’t change & instead pretended to be a Christian just to control and destroy me. I don’t understand when Christians judge others or don’t want talk to someone because of the mistakes they made in the past bc every single one of us are sinners that’s why Jesus had to come save us. Jesus said he “did not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance”. I believe that a narcissist legitimately being born again & turning to God is the coolest most amazing thing to have ever happen bc it doesn’t happen often! You have a great testimony God bless you I appreciate your insight on narcissism a lot ✝️🙏🏼😇
The Lord bless you and keep you he makes his face to shine upon you he is gracious to you he lifts up his countanence upon you and he turns his face towards you and he gives you his beloved his PEACE 🌈🌈
I’m glad you kept going and doing these videos, they have helped me greatly!! Unfortunately for the masses ignorance is bliss! Especially in church!! ❤️
Thank you. Wonderful testimony and witnessing.
I just want to say "Thanks Ben" for putting yourself out there, your work helps and will help alot of people understand that what they went through and what they are going through is 💯 REAL!!! I am glad u have acknowledged being a Narc and trying to make people aware of their harsh reality...keep making content, there are people like me, who need to have an understanding about what they've been through and that the survivor of narcissism is NOT TO BLAME!
P.S. most narcs will look like a deer frozen in car headlights even while doing a video. You Seem extremely calm and soothed. Narcs have an almost panicked look in their eyes almost all the time.
Because HE has the Holy Spirit 🕊
God Get the Glory, currently married to a narcissistic behavior husband but I’m pressing through with the power of the Holy Spirit. we all need to stop hiding our sins and be free in Jesus mighty name!!!
No community is accepting of narcissists because of the havoc they can reek and boundaries they stomp all over, Christian or not. The behavior is what’s shameful. You can be a narcissist but you’re a human that’s still deserving of love. But it takes work to stop those behaviors. Keep doing the work and being honest with yourself and everyone around you… things can get better but YOU are the one that has to do the most work.
As a 38 year old woman raised by a narcissist Christian dad and an enabling mother… I’ve got issues with men and church. I left home at 18 and joined the army to get away from my dad, didn’t speak for many years. You are doing the right thing by being honest about it. I hope you are in therapy and not “counseling” with a Christian minister (barely any therapists have experience with narcissist, it’s tricky for them; so I don’t feel like pastors have the depth for this.. no fault of their own, but let’s be honest… if you’d never come to this realization… you could easily still be fooling them!). Either way… good on you for reaching this level of self awareness. Get everyone one in therapy so they don’t accept just living in dysfunction and have tools to help them address issues when they arise. That’s the best thing you can do for your family.
I am so glad you are sharing because it will help others to face the truth
It says in the Bible that in the end days that nothing will remain hidden..not anything..and I really believe this is all part of His plan and expose people doing a lot of wrong behind closed doors in secret...it’s like a great exposure of evil is happening right now. Thank you Ben for being so candid and humble to admit the full truth...the Bible also says the truth sets you free...it does it really does.
I am Thankful for You. Keep it up! 🙏💕
So PROUD of you! Jesus loves you and this gave me so much hope
God bless you, and thank you for sharing! I hope through your testimony that other people with narcissism can gain the insight that they need to start healing.
Thank you for not allowing discouragement from stoping you from sharing, you have no idea how much you helped, when not even my couselor of seversl years could help me understand that i was dealing with a narcissist. I was so confused about my relationship the way my fiance was treating me, untill ond day after fasting and praying for God to give me direction in my relationship, the word narcissist poped on my mind and when i search the word, i found you and 3 other Christians counselor experienced with NPD that by Gods grace help me dig out of this dark whole i was in, break of my engagement and leave this toxic relationship. praise God 🙏
Just up the what your doing !
Knowledge is the most powerful
Strengths a person can have .
Happy that you are sharing these truths. The church/pulpit is littered with narcissism. Bless your heart brother. God will reward you👃👍❤
Thank you for being authentic, Ben. Healing can only come through truth. Thank you for your courage and for letting God use you and your story to help others. God bless you and your family in your journey. Proud to call you a brother in Christ.
Thank you for stepping up. You're a beacon of hope that narcissistic tendencies can be healed through our journey as humans. I tended to attract them... I've been married to one... Still, your journey is giving me hope. I felt sad whenever I researched this because the narrative is dismal. Usually the only solution really is to leave narcissists to their little hells. Never sat well with me. It felt limited and really undermined human spirit and divine guidance and miracles. I learned much from your story and I appreciate you so much. Keep fighting forward! Subscribed
I love this, Ben. So happy to call you my friend. You are doing fantastic work.
My husband is doing the very same to me and im praying for a break through so i really do appreciate what u r doing and just so u know keep doing what u r doing but most importantly repair it with those that u have hurt. The only ppl u should do right with is the ones uve hurt urself n god. Ad the bible says the truth will set u free. God is the best at this...n thats why i trust my situation will change before its to late.
Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at www.rawmotivations.com
Thank you for your honesty. The truth sets us free. Thank you for acknowledging the harmful effects of narcissism because recovery from it takes a long time.
BINGO !...continue ur journey..be grateful you catched this early in life !!!!
God bless you, my brother!!! We heartbroken sisters need more honest men to step up and take personal ownership of their ungodly "stuff". On behalf of all the sisters that have been hurt by the men in our lives, thank you. Hope the Lord will honor your honesty amd bless your future!
Thank you for sharing! I found you in my search looking for a real personal testimony of a narcissist that really did change through Jesus. I did not know if there was hope for my loved one. I do not plan to be personally involved, leaving it to The Lord.
I’m so sorry Ben. It’s a testament to your strength and Gods ability to deliver that you were able to keep going💜
You are doing Fantastic Ben!! Keep doing what you are doing ok!!
Thank you for your honesty! God will bless you as you allow Him to work in you.
I struggle with the idea that narcissists can truly be Christian. My Narc stepdad claims to be a Christian. He was a youth Sunday school teacher, oversaw the usher board, tithed regularly etc, yet he was a complete tyrant at home since I was 12. He conditioned me to date narcissistic men based on the family system I experienced growing up. I’ve almost exclusively dated “Christian” men whom I later discovered were also covert narcissists. Each of them tried to destroy me & wreaked havoc in my life. Christian narcissist sounds like an oxymoron. I’ll let God be the final judge on this topic.
I don’t think they can if they aren’t repentant or working on it. I don’t think there is anything called Christian abuse. I think those are just abusers.
The very same story! My family "conditioned me to date narcissistic men based on the family system I experienced growing up." They were "Christian" men as well. And just liked I experienced with my Mom, they were abusive away from the sight of others, and great "Christian" men to the public and my family!
I applaud you for facing such deep seeded fears and I appreciate you taking charge in your responsibility to self. As you have become aware, this allows goodness to others.
Ben, we need more of you in this world. PERSONAL TRUTH AND HONEST LIVING, AUTHENTIC SELF ABOVE ALL. Going forward day by day on this path only brings positive energies into one’s life. Keep the faith, my dear! You are ENLIGHTENED! 🤘
Actually I literally stood silent, jaw dropped, few seconds after finishing the video😮...this talk has so many axes that resonate with the position im at, including christianity, honesty, narc.
Hadn't i tried it on my skin, i wouldnt believe how it works with narcs.
I've watched around 100 hours video on youtube last 3 years on narcs /codependents from therapists and/or codependents in a hell with narc's or already escaped them. All say run from them, run asap.
This is first video, for me, of a healing narc, the other part of the coin... From another angle. 🤔 And your wife hast run from you, while you're getting better through this journey! Cheers to that 🎉
Thank you for sharing your story
Thanks for watching!
Just like any spirit. You can be delivered. Even through self deliverance. Cast the spirit down.
I just came across your channel. Thank you. It’s important work you’re doing. It has been so helpful for me. ❤
I am so proud of you for sharing your story, my friend. You are helping so many people.
Love your story! God is a healer, with God all things are possible… I believe God can even heal the narcissist. My husband is a narcissist and a minister and we’ve been separated a year and I’m praying for him to be fully healed and delivered. I won’t stop praying 🙏 for him. Your story is inspiring. Even if your story touches a few it’s worth a million! Stay strong in Christ.
WELL WELL DONE YOU, totally admire someone who can turn their life around and see the damage they have done, keep going you are helping others to understand this disorder, thanks Ben.
God appreciates your honesty & He is proud of you!! Am so glad to see a Christian narcissist 😊. Many utube videos said Narcissist never change. And i kept thinking about it, till the day when God spoke to me saying, nothing is impossible with God!! God can change Narcissists..!
Keep doing what you are doing! God bless you and your mission.
Thank you! You too!
Encouraging your for putting this content out there. Thank you for your honesty. Also a Christian. It helps in my healing from narcissistic abuse
Definitely share 💯 💯💯💯☮️
So blessed to be so real, God bless you and keep you always
Looking forward to the day, when you start praying for the people at the end of your Videos. 30 sec prayer of deliverance, condolence, encouragment etc.
Praying for and cheering on you daily!
Heaven's got you backed up!
The court of the elders cheer you on! 🔥
Ben, I by far, admire someone honest and working on their issues over someone pretending, or playing the victim while abusing people. Keep gping.
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Thank you for this Ben. I am currently working through the book, "Break Free From Narcissistic Mothers," by Hannah Alderete. This is a very challenging road for me. I am my Mother's "caregiver," at least I thought I was for the past 3 years. I have been to so much counseling since I was very young. But it took a huge outburst from my mother to help me see the abuse I went through with my Mom since I was a little girl. In fact there were many outbursts and spiritual abuse for decades. Being that my parents were Pastor's my entire life, up to my Dad retiring, and then passing away 3 years ago, I did not see the dynamics clearly. In fact it was my Dad, right before he passed, who gave me insight into the abuse he suffered at my Mom's hands! There's so much here that I am walking through, but the hard part is that I cannot go completely "no-contact" at this time. But I am making strides with that as well. I will no longer engage at any length beyond 1 minute at a time with my Mom, and I am taking steps to leave this situation asap. Thank you again for this transparency. Keep it up. It's Truth, and we need to truly seen the Lord for healing in this place of His truth!
Thank you Ben so much for not giving up and continuing to share your truth and your content. I believe God led me to your channel and I've been binge-watching your videos every since. I didn't want to believe what God was showing me about a person in my life. But watching your videos forces me to have to accept reality so that I can truly heal and move on from the hopes I had with that person. Thank you for your straightforwardness and honesty.
This video alone is encouraging also because there are a lot of things I've tried to do but stopped because of the responses or lack of responses I got from people on my personal page. I like that you said you created a whole different page that no one you knew could see. I think im going to try that.
Please keep sharing your journey. I can't wait to see where God leads you. 💛
You are giving me courage to speak out. I'm still afraid of my ex although he can't hurt me. I'd like to reach out to military spouses who are stuck in a marriage w a narcissist.... very common
Very true. I know of several. Speak out.
Beautiful!! Thank You
I love your honesty 🙏🏻
Respect for being honest, it thakes a lot of courage 💪 👏 👍
I just want to say thank you. It takes a whole lot to put yourself and your history out there, narcissist or not. Having been in a relationship with a narcissist, I found your honesty and self awareness very refreshing and hopeful. You're doing an incredible thing and I hope you keep going. Thanks again.
So very very grateful you chose to do this and stuck with it. I feel like you’re saving my brain. Honesty for the benefit of others is something you should never be ashamed of. The narcissists in my life hurt me and continue to. You are confirming it’s not my fault and their actions aren’t ok. Their “Christianity” (dishonesty and apathy) didn’t stop them from hurting me. Yours (honesty and empathy) is helping me.
Wow! As a fellow Christian/Believer it’s sad that you experienced those reactions from other people that say they are “Christians”. I’m so proud of you for coming forward and sharing your story! “They overcome by the blood of The Lamb and the word of their testimony” Revelation 12:11. You’re an over comer and I’m thankful for your posts. Shout out to @MentalHealness for connecting some of us to you. I’m currently getting out of a relationship with a covert narc and it’s hard, it hurts and at the same time I feel sorry for him because of the way he is. I just pray for him and pray for the strength to stay strong. Prayers for you and your family! 🙏🏽❤️
Hi Ben! Thanks for sharing your story of your journey to be authentic, honest and transparent. We need more ppl like you who will shun hypocrisy and tell the truth. The truth will set you free. Jesus is the way, the truth and our life. Follow Him. I’m changing, growing healing from narc abuse also. Continue to share your story of honesty. Grace, Peace & Blessing!
Thank you for being you
Whatever reasons you're doing it, you're trying to work through things, and if this is part of it, then that is good. Many people will respond with a momentary opinion, but they are not the one living your life, your journey and testimony. If in any way it helps someone, then that is a good thing. If you were just looking for supply, well, that will not be a benefit to you in the end, and so people should not worry unless they are personally affected. I pray God always send you the kind of person prepared to be the support/accountability you need, because not everyone can be, and we can feel negative toward them when that wasn't what they could give. Also, some people are not confident to share their testimony, maybe they feel fearful that it won't help others, isn't good enough... so I wouldn't give up on people who don't feel ready, but actually they need to continue to be in the presence of people who are confident to encourage them one day too. They don't need to pressured about it, because, in time it will come as the Holy Spirit convicts them.
I want to change, I feel like I'm running out of options, I'm not accountable often and I self medicate with idols. I am going to hell if I don't change. God had given me many chances and I rebel. I'm ashamed, I operate in pride and God knows how many others demons. But somehow I still have hope (Holy Spirit has not left me yet) and with you sharing your journey and being honest it confirms hope. We overcome by the Blood and the Word of our testimony! Thank you brother, will try to remember to pray for you as I press through on my journey!
Thank you Ben, so interesting.
God doesn't change a person until they change what's within themselves and it looks like you want to change for the good, if it's sincere he will guide, aid, protect bless forgive you and so much more.
Time is a healer but one thing you must bare in mine is to give those people you hurt space and their own time to heal. Keep going, you got this.
Awesome to hear God bless u
Only God can chance people hearts 💖🙏🏼🌻
God bless you ❤
It's hard to know how to take this without having seen your posts and people's reaction to them. I have found the Christian community to be very supportive and helpful when being honest about difficult problems, although I tend to talk to only a few trusted people. People generally want to help, but not everyone knows how. But also, there's a lot that Jesus says in the Bible that is not easy to hear. Sometimes, what people need to hear is not what they want to hear. Celebrate Recover is a Christian recovery group hosted by a lot of churches. It's a good place to start to get over "addictions, habits and hang ups". Part of recovery is being accountable to someone - but not accountable to everyone on social media.
It sounds like he wasn't a part of a legit born again King James bible believing Christian church, or born again Christians. If he was they would only show God's love, support and encouragement.
This gives me some hope for my covert narcissist STBXW. Not to save our marriage, as I don't see that happening right now, but for her. I pray she will one day seek help, and more importantly God. I don't know whether she is truly saved or not.
Thank you for your testimony... I have been worried about Christian culture and not being honest with each other as well. I struggled with a same-sex attraction so without the grade of Jesus I am just a sinner. It's not like I never have been tempted when I become Christian but I want to encourage you brother - you are not a narcissist anymore you are a child of God save thru blood of Christ :) as someone who struggles with same-sex attraction, I needed to renew my thinking with help of God. Done identify yourself with your sin or something you use to do. Blessings ;)
I used to do the pray the gay away when I was in high school. It doesn’t work because you are either gay, bisexual, or straight. Sir do not say you have same-sex attractions because, in reality, you are either GAY or BISEXUAL. Bisexuality ranges from being bi-curious to liking both genders, not demonic possession. I used to be a Pentecostal Christian but now I’m Catholic Christian because of church History. let me tell you the Catholics are right because they aren’t a confused sect that believes in sola scriptura it hurt at first but the truth set me free and I received the Eucharist. Keep in mind the Catholic Church gave us the NT Bible. My Pentecostal aunt is a narcissist who made me feel special whenever I went to church and I became a born-again Christian and received Jesus as my savior. I gave up “my sinful lifestyle” which meant that I lived in a state of mind of self-hate for being gay. Self denial for Jesus in her eyes is to “stop being gay” but that brought nothing but depression and fear. She called it the fear of God which is sad. I noticed that ex-gays are just bisexual people who fulfilled their desires and in the end, they married someone of the opposite sex, some even become Christian and some are atheists who are bi and marry a woman because of society. I'm gay and a Christian. I'm waiting for marriage because I want to be happy bro. the Bible condemns divorce and remarriage yet people practice it today. Your Christian divorced family/friends who are Christians will be denied heaven because it’s a sin to remarry regardless of their feelings. Let’s not forget that early Christians were against anal and oral sex, sodomy is the name and it applied to straight people too. Also, history shows us that left-handed people were killed but now it’s okay to be left-handed. The Bible condemns being left-handed. I’m not going to live scared and depressed. I’m celibate because you need to wait till marriage. I’m cleaner than most people. I have a body count of 3. Not 12 like straight men and women. yet I’m called dirty because I’m gay.
This is how I see it.
Look at it like this 1. If being gay is wrong we are all condemned regardless, we were created to go to hell and divorced people will come with us. If it’s unfair for us gay people it’s unfair for all of humanity too. God is a JUST GOD. The Bible says that gay people will go to hell, it doesn’t mean practicing gays only but people who have same-sex attractions like you. It means that your thoughts are sin and not temptation too bad.
Jesus said if you look at a woman with lust you have committed adultery.
This is the homophobic Christian perspective.
I’ve encountered things like this too, Some Christians say that faith alone can save. Then I am saved by default but then it’s changed to works that are evidenced of salvation. So some people choose to give up this desire but in the end bro you just put your faith in your works and God will send you to hell because of a dead faith. Faith without works is dead. Many pray the gay away Christians think they will go to heaven and a gay-affirming person like myself is going to hell even though I believe in Jesus.
Who is right me the one who is a “progressive” Christian but is called lukewarm because I am gay and believes in Jesus Christ and the resurrection and is waiting till marriage or the one gay who doesn’t trust in Jesus but in himself that is a self-righteous person who thinks they get to go to heaven because they suffered yet to say it’s for Jesus. I think this is where you are sir. I used to be here and I was madly jealous of gay people who are ripped, fit, handsome, well endowed, and get all the sex they want and some are bisexual and become Christian and then I’m seen as the pervert because I didn’t “change” like they did. I'm gay I like men not women. That doesn’t mean that God gave me the ticket to participate in stuff like this. I’m called to be celibate until marriage. I’ll have sex when I am married to a man. If I’m condemned then so are divorced people. Left-handed people. Men with long hair. Women with short hair. Women with alopecia or hair loss will go to hell. But let’s not remember that Samson was an exception. Many things like this are in the Bible. So let me wait until marriage because you marry someone you love and want to grow old with. I want kids and a husband. I’m 20 years old. I thank Jesus for all he has given me. I’m nothing without Him.
You are awesome . God desires truth and the truth will make you free. GOD will bring the right people in your life who are real and hate fake people christian or not. Stay encouraged God has given you this ministry to expose the lies of the devil (under cover christian narcs).Stay with God my brother and trust him to complete the good work he has begun in you.
Thank you Ben 🙏
My pleasure!
Thank you Ben. I want to incourage you to keep posting what God ordain you to. I was looking for information about this issue, because my husband is stragling with this and i am born again christian and my husband truly born again, but when Lord reviled me he have narcissistic qualities that hurt me very much and i am praying he will heal from this in Jesus name. My husband will not agnolage this and its difficult to start healing. I dont want our relationship to brake. I know its of God that we got married. I just pray we can overcome this and grow from it and get more closer. ❤️🙏
Amen, brother.
Thank you so much for this video....I was looking for just one person to say that there is hope for narcissists for change, healing and growth. After what Jesus do for us there has to be hope for people struggling with such a profound selfishness. But where are the testimonies?
Thanks for sharing
Well? Nice to meet you! My name is Charlotte. I'm also a Christian and I married a narcissist. I think what it is, is, Christians are afraid it's going to rub off on them. In the process, I've learned just how pervasive what I've come to call Christian lying is. A lot of people are worried about how they look, but don't want to talk a whole lot about how they are. It's become a major problem I think in even the best of churches.
It's occurred to me that a number of churches like to talk about a revival. I don't think it's ever occurred to them that it needs to start with them. Because we lie. About everything. We have Christian colloquialisms that sound really good, but they're still lies. Thanks for sharing!
❤❤❤❤ yup the same for me. Worst people.
You are really doing a good job, so don't let anyone discourage you,
It's not everyone who will want to speak about the bad or weak side of their lives to help others, as you are doing, and a lots of us are being blessed,. Or else we think we are having a very bad problem as that's what they make you to believe, in away this way we can have compassion for them, as knowing that they are broken hurt people, who also needs help., and compassion..