I hope you have a fantastic day too ... thank you for being super awesome and just bloody brilliant at what you do for others... you have helped me in so many ways and I appreciate all the hard work that goes into these videos 🥰
@@emz359 hello I like your comment and very well written and I completely can agree with what you said these podcast s have always helpful with all the questions and Kati s in deep detail answers means so much to all of us been following for about 2 years her posts and videos and the Kati community has meant so much to me to be a part of 🙂
00:33 1. What advice do you have for those of us who can’t tolerate intimacy? Too much eye contact, love, and attention often seems to overwhelm me. I find it so much easier to connect with people I barely know, but when people get too familiar and close I panic and want to run away. How do I learn to... 18:52 2. When working with trauma how do you build that window of tolerance? I feel at times like I’m stuck and can’t stop myself from dissociating. We have built several safety measures, worked on body awareness but yet the second the past comes into play I can feel my anxiety climb... 31:15 3. I’ve been seeing a lot of people on TikTok talking about how they sort of habitualized a certain food (like the same bedtime snack every night or same breakfast every morning), not out of an eating disorder... 38:17 4. If someone has had an ED for a long time (say 5/10+ years) how likely are they to recover in your experience? If it is a 'stuck' ED, at what point would you suspect something underlying (another mental health condition for example) hasn't been addressed, & how would you go about working that out whilst the ED is masking... 43:26 5. I hope you are well. I was seeing a psychotherapist for help to address my childhood emotional neglect and also other traumatic things that happened. I saw him for about 2 years and unfortunately I wasn't able to continue to see him because it was provided by the NHS. I felt ... 48:08 6. How do you know if you have truly forgiven someone? I had my trust broken in my marriage recently and trying to find the balance between giving permission to feel hurt, but also not holding a grudge. But I feel like this could apply to plenty of other... 56:02 7. I'm just wondering how to deal with being highly empathic, while struggling myself. Emotionally abusive father (sometimes questioned if narcissistic) and I can tell how he is by how he coughs, breathes, or walks. He is prone to very low moods, to the point where it’s scary but won’t get help. He will never... 1:03:52 8. How does one differ between urges that are biologically driven and aren’t really choices and ones that are self induced habits? I’m in recovery from a restrictive ED and am honoring mental hunger. However, sometimes I get confused if it’s mental hunger or my binging habit. I trust that when I reach a healthy weight, my hunger will normalize and this “habit“ of eating loads will... 1:12:18 9. My depression keeps going up and down. Sometimes I just feel like crying, and I have been having more bad days than good, manageable days. I’ve been stuck at home for weeks, unable to go anywhere, or even walk around my house properly because of an infected toe. My bad toe has been an ongoing health problem and I have hardly been anywhere at all since last year...
Yessss Q4!!! This has literally been my experience, they’re separate ‘departments’ and if your disorders overlap (ie ED & PTSD - which I presume in most cases they do) neither will touch you.. so hard, wishing you all the best!
In the UK, almost all mental health treatment is so badly effected by the lack of money and staff. It’s hard to get anything that isn’t very time limited, and tragically that just means most people get sicker, or develop additional mental health struggles
Thank you Katie for getting up early and recording this for us! I never really mastered forgiveness and wonder if there really is such a thing as complete forgiveness, speaking for myself anyway. Or just forgetting out of choice. Maybe the best I can do is not hold a grudge and I can usually manage that okay. I can try just to work it out with the person I feel offended by or unjustly treated by, or if that's not possible, give myself credit for trying. Then just put it in the old SH category and move on as best as possible.
Glad I found this community!!! now I know I am not crazy or alone and can put into words what I am feeling and why, and maybe just maybe not feel so bad about the feelings I am having
Not technically related but when Roxie popped in and tried to snuggle in under your arm made my heart so warm. Love that your sweet girl quietly stopped by
Was happy to hear you correct/bring up in regards to #8 that people who are at an unhealthy weight aren't only that way due to eating/binging/ignoring hunger/fullness cues. It's a very frustrating being a bigger person when you know your many health conditions have contributed to this even if you eat well.
Good afternoon and how are people feeling today I just want to share care and support love for the community and to share how watching these podcast s every week for so long has always helped me to understand and learn more about different mental health issues and also has gave me hope and iv been learning more about my own mental health thank you to the Kati community and thank you kati ❤️
I was nodding so hard all over question 7. I'm empathic bc I was conditioned to live outside myself! 😭 I'm in the angry phase of that mind blown moment you described. Lol
I was just thanking someone for help surrounding these things like minutes before seeing this, and it's been difficult to make it possible to address anything intimacy related. I've had kind of very extreme aversion to anything of these types of nature and especially anything s'xual, and separately I've trauma surrounding bonds too. Triggers sexually get so extremely bad for me for days/week still sometimes, but it's really not as bad as before. It's getting so confusing since it's a bit less gated than before and idk if I'm supposed to want things of this sort or how I'd feel about them. It's kind of beyond confusing, especially in the weeks after triggers. There's kind of been a variety of traumas and general situations that come back pretty bad. I just don't know if I'm supposed to want or desire these things or where anything is going, so it's rough to order things. I kind of feel like multiple people for a lot of things in this area, and that gets intense in pretty _set_ ways too, so it's just difficult to orient anything or interpret those episodes as being such and temporary. I'll try to make it feel allowed to see professionals and all of that, and I've been going over that subject countless times for 5 years now (trauma holiday related to changing was this month too). A part of me wants to talk, but I really want to hurt myself for going even after these years. expression has improved a ton, but I've intensely forced myself to stop analyzing anything (like while triggered and in general) internally for 5 years, so it's kind of rough to unravel everything of those years before going idk
Allison williams.hello feeling friendly and I like meeting new people on here I completely agree Kati is my go to channel and these podcast s are a part of my week ever Thursday she s so calming and informative 🙂
Yes it's the same in Australia about how eating disorders are treated. It's only the eating disorder that is focused on, not underlying issues at all. I have been inpatient about 5 times in my life over 25 years. It is only the ED. They only focus on tube feeding or supplements, 3 meals, 3 snacks and seeing the dietician to modify our meal plans. It's absolute bullshit and myself and many others are traumatised just by that, let alone any other trauma they have suffered or still are suffering with, much of which is probably the reason one does have the ED in the first place.
Kati, I want to post a question Regarding mental health patterns of creating obstacles & booby-traps within the house. My aim is to learn to communicate with my person who has these patterns. The obstacles are physical, like "hoarding". The booby-traps are also physical. I would like to understand what the mind is doing there so I can be compassionate. My brother says the hoarding is how a person creates their worth by the space they occupy.
I have been a year celibate now but I struggle with the thought of being intimate with anyone if I was to get in a relationship in the past I’ve only been able to be intimate if I was under the influence drunk or high or both 🥺 I was sexually abused as a child and adult I’ve been single for 3 years now but when I think about the next time I do that I freak out 😮💨
That sounds really rough Berta. I'm sorry you experienced that and that intimacy is so triggering for you now 😔 Have you considered talking to a therapist specialising in sexual abuse and trauma? You deserve to feel about yourself and your own body
Bertha.just finished reading your comment and I'm sorry you been going through so much struggle with being Intimate with anyone sad to hear that in your past you could only be Intimate in a relationship if you was under the influence drunk or high I can understand and relate to struggle with Intamcy with every relationship iv ever been in I also struggle with trust issues and body shame and low confidence and anything that sets off my anxiety some friendly advice I hope things get better for you and you are more able to mange being intimate relationship take care 🙂
@@Preppygirls28 you are welcome I like being careing and surpotive and giveing advice and helping if I can with time I hope things get better for you x
Do psychologists use positive reinforcement? For example usually when I met a goal, something that is difficult due to anxiety my psychologist winks at me when saying "it was really good that I did "xyz".
Kati, thank you. However, this comment is for Saun (Sean? Shawn?). Buddy, you've got a GOLDEN opportunity here. Now that Kati has hit 100 episodes you should make a blanket with every youtube title shot from each episode. It'd be hilarious. Then again, that's something I'd do to celebrate my wife. I mean, I'd make it myself but that might be a little creepy.
Hi Kari, I have been looking for a couple / family counselor with CBT background for an Asperger- neurotypical couple therapy. What kind of therapy would be best ans can you provide a number of resources and groups and specialist that I can reach out to
Grand master mario.i understand and relate to your comment because I eat alout of junk food too because of my depression and anxiety sorry to hear you have Trauma too it's important I think we as a community and who suffers from mental health to be surportive and careing plus helpful good listener s we all need this I am but a stranger to you but I offer advice and help if I can help to make someone feel even just a little better it's worth it because I struggle myself each and every day take care 🙂
Unless you’re super rich in the UK the chance of going to rehab for addiction or ED’s are non existent. Most people don’t have private health care here and even if you do they don’t tend to pay for rehab. The nhs is a good thing for everyday stuff but if you have chronic illnesses or mental illness it’s not great at all. I’m lucky as an adult with multiple chronic Illness’ my parents paid for a private therapist over the last 7 years they’ve spent close to 5 grand, normal people can’t afford that it sucks.
Omg, you're so right! My sister lives in England and suffers from an auto-immune disease and mental health issues and she barely gets any help... it's inhumane. How do they expect people to get better when they don't offer any (good) help? Shameful. I'm glad your parents are able to help you out!
Sex is my distraction in life .I am an Asexual I discovered , because all are my brother and sister as when I feel then I feel I am in my space ,I respect me love me so I love and respect anyone. I don't need Sex based relationship ,I don't chase Sex by the name of relationship.
Good morning everyone! I hope you have a fantastic day :)
Good morning Kati and good afternoon from uk been looking forward to this all day
I hope you have a fantastic day too ... thank you for being super awesome and just bloody brilliant at what you do for others... you have helped me in so many ways and I appreciate all the hard work that goes into these videos 🥰
@@emz359 hello I like your comment and very well written and I completely can agree with what you said these podcast s have always helpful with all the questions and Kati s in deep detail answers means so much to all of us been following for about 2 years her posts and videos and the Kati community has meant so much to me to be a part of 🙂
Happy day Kati!
@@freeluigi4444 hello nice to see you here again hope you remember me we met here before hope you are ok how's things x
Time stamps!
#1: 0:43
#2: 18:54
#3: 31:15
#4: 38:17
#5: 43:26
#6: 48:08
#7: 56:03
#8: 1:03:53
#9: 1:12:19
00:33 1. What advice do you have for those of us who can’t tolerate intimacy? Too much eye contact, love, and attention often seems to overwhelm me. I find it so much easier to connect with people I barely know, but when people get too familiar and close I panic and want to run away. How do I learn to...
18:52 2. When working with trauma how do you build that window of tolerance? I feel at times like I’m stuck and can’t stop myself from dissociating. We have built several safety measures, worked on body awareness but yet the second the past comes into play I can feel my anxiety climb...
31:15 3. I’ve been seeing a lot of people on TikTok talking about how they sort of habitualized a certain food (like the same bedtime snack every night or same breakfast every morning), not out of an eating disorder...
38:17 4. If someone has had an ED for a long time (say 5/10+ years) how likely are they to recover in your experience? If it is a 'stuck' ED, at what point would you suspect something underlying (another mental health condition for example) hasn't been addressed, & how would you go about working that out whilst the ED is masking...
43:26 5. I hope you are well. I was seeing a psychotherapist for help to address my childhood emotional neglect and also other traumatic things that happened. I saw him for about 2 years and unfortunately I wasn't able to continue to see him because it was provided by the NHS. I felt ...
48:08 6. How do you know if you have truly forgiven someone? I had my trust broken in my marriage recently and trying to find the balance between giving permission to feel hurt, but also not holding a grudge. But I feel like this could apply to plenty of other...
56:02 7. I'm just wondering how to deal with being highly empathic, while struggling myself. Emotionally abusive father (sometimes questioned if narcissistic) and I can tell how he is by how he coughs, breathes, or walks. He is prone to very low moods, to the point where it’s scary but won’t get help. He will never...
1:03:52 8. How does one differ between urges that are biologically driven and aren’t really choices and ones that are self induced habits? I’m in recovery from a restrictive ED and am honoring mental hunger. However, sometimes I get confused if it’s mental hunger or my binging habit. I trust that when I reach a healthy weight, my hunger will normalize and this “habit“ of eating loads will...
1:12:18 9. My depression keeps going up and down. Sometimes I just feel like crying, and I have been having more bad days than good, manageable days. I’ve been stuck at home for weeks, unable to go anywhere, or even walk around my house properly because of an infected toe. My bad toe has been an ongoing health problem and I have hardly been anywhere at all since last year...
anniekate76. As always thank you for the timestamps 🙂
You a real oneeee 💜☯️
Yessss Q4!!! This has literally been my experience, they’re separate ‘departments’ and if your disorders overlap (ie ED & PTSD - which I presume in most cases they do) neither will touch you.. so hard, wishing you all the best!
In the UK, almost all mental health treatment is so badly effected by the lack of money and staff. It’s hard to get anything that isn’t very time limited, and tragically that just means most people get sicker, or develop additional mental health struggles
Thank you Katie for getting up early and recording this for us!
I never really mastered forgiveness and wonder if there really is such a thing as complete forgiveness, speaking for myself anyway. Or just forgetting out of choice.
Maybe the best I can do is not hold a grudge and I can usually manage that okay. I can try just to work it out with the person I feel offended by or unjustly treated by, or if that's not possible, give myself credit for trying. Then just put it in the old SH category and move on as best as possible.
Glad I found this community!!! now I know I am not crazy or alone and can put into words what I am feeling and why, and maybe just maybe not feel so bad about the feelings I am having
Thank you for this. I am a person with not many words but i want you to know that i appreciate this podcast with all my heart!
Mar Rodriguez.your comment was so lovely and not being a person of many words Kati will appreciate your comment as with all comments 🙂
Not technically related but when Roxie popped in and tried to snuggle in under your arm made my heart so warm. Love that your sweet girl quietly stopped by
Was happy to hear you correct/bring up in regards to #8 that people who are at an unhealthy weight aren't only that way due to eating/binging/ignoring hunger/fullness cues.
It's a very frustrating being a bigger person when you know your many health conditions have contributed to this even if you eat well.
Good afternoon and how are people feeling today I just want to share care and support love for the community and to share how watching these podcast s every week for so long has always helped me to understand and learn more about different mental health issues and also has gave me hope and iv been learning more about my own mental health thank you to the Kati community and thank you kati ❤️
I was nodding so hard all over question 7. I'm empathic bc I was conditioned to live outside myself! 😭 I'm in the angry phase of that mind blown moment you described. Lol
Question 1 is me to a T. I want to have romantic intimacy but I’m deathly afraid of it because my first partner was emotionally abusive.
I was just thanking someone for help surrounding these things like minutes before seeing this, and it's been difficult to make it possible to address anything intimacy related. I've had kind of very extreme aversion to anything of these types of nature and especially anything s'xual, and separately I've trauma surrounding bonds too. Triggers sexually get so extremely bad for me for days/week still sometimes, but it's really not as bad as before.
It's getting so confusing since it's a bit less gated than before and idk if I'm supposed to want things of this sort or how I'd feel about them. It's kind of beyond confusing, especially in the weeks after triggers. There's kind of been a variety of traumas and general situations that come back pretty bad. I just don't know if I'm supposed to want or desire these things or where anything is going, so it's rough to order things. I kind of feel like multiple people for a lot of things in this area, and that gets intense in pretty _set_ ways too, so it's just difficult to orient anything or interpret those episodes as being such and temporary.
I'll try to make it feel allowed to see professionals and all of that, and I've been going over that subject countless times for 5 years now (trauma holiday related to changing was this month too). A part of me wants to talk, but I really want to hurt myself for going even after these years. expression has improved a ton, but I've intensely forced myself to stop analyzing anything (like while triggered and in general) internally for 5 years, so it's kind of rough to unravel everything of those years before going idk
Thankyou for these vids! :)))
You're welcome Allison :)
Allison williams.hello feeling friendly and I like meeting new people on here I completely agree Kati is my go to channel and these podcast s are a part of my week ever Thursday she s so calming and informative 🙂
Yes it's the same in Australia about how eating disorders are treated. It's only the eating disorder that is focused on, not underlying issues at all. I have been inpatient about 5 times in my life over 25 years. It is only the ED. They only focus on tube feeding or supplements, 3 meals, 3 snacks and seeing the dietician to modify our meal plans. It's absolute bullshit and myself and many others are traumatised just by that, let alone any other trauma they have suffered or still are suffering with, much of which is probably the reason one does have the ED in the first place.
Kati,
I want to post a question
Regarding mental health patterns of creating obstacles & booby-traps within the house.
My aim is to learn to communicate with my person who has these patterns.
The obstacles are physical,
like "hoarding".
The booby-traps are also physical.
I would like to understand what the mind is doing there so I can be compassionate.
My brother says the hoarding is how a person creates their worth by the space they occupy.
Really love your videos
Other timestamps:
Roxy cameo 12:14
Sneeze 48:26
Ray wood . thank you for the timestamps 👍
No sneeze 48:26
I have been a year celibate now but I struggle with the thought of being intimate with anyone if I was to get in a relationship in the past I’ve only been able to be intimate if I was under the influence drunk or high or both 🥺 I was sexually abused as a child and adult I’ve been single for 3 years now but when I think about the next time I do that I freak out 😮💨
That sounds really rough Berta. I'm sorry you experienced that and that intimacy is so triggering for you now 😔 Have you considered talking to a therapist specialising in sexual abuse and trauma? You deserve to feel about yourself and your own body
Bertha.just finished reading your comment and I'm sorry you been going through so much struggle with being Intimate with anyone sad to hear that in your past you could only be Intimate in a relationship if you was under the influence drunk or high I can understand and relate to struggle with Intamcy with every relationship iv ever been in I also struggle with trust issues and body shame and low confidence and anything that sets off my anxiety some friendly advice I hope things get better for you and you are more able to mange being intimate relationship take care 🙂
@@TheEmeraldLady I’m in therapy still it’s helping but still just scary to think about thank you for your kind words
@@nikkimckay860 thank you soo much I’m hoping with time things get easier but thank you 🥺
@@Preppygirls28 you are welcome I like being careing and surpotive and giveing advice and helping if I can with time I hope things get better for you x
Do psychologists use positive reinforcement? For example usually when I met a goal, something that is difficult due to anxiety my psychologist winks at me when saying "it was really good that I did "xyz".
Kati, thank you. However, this comment is for Saun (Sean? Shawn?). Buddy, you've got a GOLDEN opportunity here. Now that Kati has hit 100 episodes you should make a blanket with every youtube title shot from each episode. It'd be hilarious. Then again, that's something I'd do to celebrate my wife. I mean, I'd make it myself but that might be a little creepy.
Hi Kari, I have been looking for a couple / family counselor with CBT background for an Asperger- neurotypical couple therapy. What kind of therapy would be best ans can you provide a number of resources and groups and specialist that I can reach out to
I overeat and eat way to much junk food to help cope with my trauma and depression and anxiety
Grand master mario.i understand and relate to your comment because I eat alout of junk food too because of my depression and anxiety sorry to hear you have Trauma too it's important I think we as a community and who suffers from mental health to be surportive and careing plus helpful good listener s we all need this I am but a stranger to you but I offer advice and help if I can help to make someone feel even just a little better it's worth it because I struggle myself each and every day take care 🙂
Unless you’re super rich in the UK the chance of going to rehab for addiction or ED’s are non existent. Most people don’t have private health care here and even if you do they don’t tend to pay for rehab. The nhs is a good thing for everyday stuff but if you have chronic illnesses or mental illness it’s not great at all. I’m lucky as an adult with multiple chronic Illness’ my parents paid for a private therapist over the last 7 years they’ve spent close to 5 grand, normal people can’t afford that it sucks.
Omg, you're so right! My sister lives in England and suffers from an auto-immune disease and mental health issues and she barely gets any help... it's inhumane. How do they expect people to get better when they don't offer any (good) help? Shameful. I'm glad your parents are able to help you out!
@43:××, studipity is so exhausting.
2day, That is where iam
I think a lot of it has to do with a living wage. Inflation create crime and magical thinking
Sex is my distraction in life .I am an Asexual I discovered , because all are my brother and sister as when I feel then I feel I am in my space ,I respect me love me so I love and respect anyone.
I don't need Sex based relationship ,I don't chase Sex by the name of relationship.