"...none of our soldiers had not returned." Ehm.. so they did returned? I guess games plot sorted itself out even without our involvement after all. Good job.
Glad I wasn't losing my mind. I thought I might have just imagined that sentence when I saw it. Surprised Him didn't say something. Must have been tired.
You just murdered a whole town of people, the first non-human people known to mankind, leaving just 1 solitary survivor to tend the bodies, just to eat their sole box of cereal. Was it worth it, Jim? WAS IT?
It just sets your expectations so low and then it comes at you with the mysterious mountain and your wonder builds, so when you get to the top and there's actually something there it just blows your mind. Well played, devs.
Why do indie games love stranding us on deserted islands..? I mean, is this some popular fetish I didn't know about? Did everyone watch Tom Hank's _Cast Away_ film and fell in love with Wilson?
Paradox Acres well, its convenient. with an island you wont have to make an effort with decent looking background landscape. you can just put some water and a skybox an call it a day
Of course, in an Island Simulator you'll find a German pistol, shoot Lizard folks, and drink random milks all around the place without caring if its spoiled or not. Yup, totally accurate simulator.
22:07 "I mean it's simulating *a kind* of island. Like if there was a sea of creativity... and content, *this* would be an island in that." Jim Sterling, 2016 Goodness, Jim, gems like these are why watching your videos in full is worth it.
i like how the story is "we sent soldiers to this island and havent heard back, so now we're sending you" and then it turns out the soldiers are fine until you are forced to kill them for whatever reason
So... what were the Poles DOING in there? Did they have a deal with the lizard-men? Why did they have so much cereal and milk? What happened to the special forces? What did we find at the end? Was it the cornflakes homunculus?
So... to recap, we found a luger, an american jeep, a tiger tank, a ppsh, a k-98, a fucking _maus_ and a modern uzi in a polish military base that's on a jungle island at the top of a mountain that's been attacked by lizard people who live in Aztec ruins. Sounds about right. Somebody had to justify buying a WW2 asset pack, didn't they?
Zaticus I'm just guessing , besides the model being pretty poor quality the gun textures are also all messed up so it's kind of hard to be sure. Either way, whoever cobbled this together has never heard the word "cohesive".
Zaticus The ammo Jim picked up was 7.62 x 54R which is exactly what a Mosin Nagant shoots. The Kar 98 shot 7.92 x 57 and I didn't see any of that being picked up. The bolt on the gun model also has the same Bolt as my Mosin Nagant. From the information here I can conclude that it is a Mosin Nagant and not a Kar 98 :p
"I'm going to enhance the image by getting up close to the screen", Jim Sterling 11-29-16 voted best quote of the year. Great content showing off crappy games who would have thought, Great video Jim keep it up. :P
I've worked for two full time years on an original game and I still feel I'm ripping people off for asking 5 bucks for it. ... Fortunately sometimes I see complete shits like these. B-)
Well, to be honest I'm not sure I want to associate my games with this account. I tend to have bold statements on RUclips that can piss some people off, and I don't want to attract trolls or bad publicity. x) (But I don't think 5 buck's too much, I simply think that sometimes. ^^' )
Based on the eye level in relation to the foilage and the tent doorways, the player character is barely three feet tall. That might be why the gun models look gigantic. We are apparently just a toddler.
I really hope the "enhance image" technique will become a thing, like during the Jimquisition you'd declare something about a hard to see object, and then proceed to reassure everyone that you even "enhanced" the image.
Cms2402 No, that's how asset stores generally work. Assuming they bought them legitimately, they own a license and the copyright to the assets as they pertain to the game. They just can't resell them as .fbx files or whatever they are. It's kinda dumb, but that's how it works.
You can start the DLC story unaware from the base game only to be denied at the last hurdle by the game telling you in-game to buy more shit in order to continue? What the fuck do they think this is, Dragon Age?
"Maybe there's milk at the top of that temple..." Said no brave explorer ever Until this day in 2016 When a poorly formatted youtube comment Added it in quotes, forever immortalizing this moment.
Why are there Pz.Kpfw VI Tigers and a Pz.Kpfw. VIII Maus tanks as well as Flakvierling 38 Anti-Air turrets, Soviet PPSh SMG and a P08 Parabellum inside what looks to be a US army base? What kind of army is this?
Shame on you Jim. The man clearly has a severe calcium deficiency and needs all the milk he can get to survive or his bones will erode into nothingness. That sort of serious illness should never be mocked in the manner you did.
I used this program to make a little game on a college open day about 5 years ago, i remember those rooms , fps creator a think its called, don't seem to have even changed the assets either
"Unfortunately none of our soldiers had not returned".... so everyone returned. Why did they send the player there?
Because Poland has bases on jungle islands
With Tigers on them.
Throw your logic out of the window, this is a simulator current year game.
Jungle Islands on top of mountains at that.
I love that it says "Unfortunately," like the general or whomever sent them there hoping they'd all die but none of them did.
"...none of our soldiers had not returned." Ehm.. so they did returned? I guess games plot sorted itself out even without our involvement after all. Good job.
I had to much fun at that myself lol.
i do not know why this is not a problem!
Glad I wasn't losing my mind. I thought I might have just imagined that sentence when I saw it. Surprised Him didn't say something. Must have been tired.
You just murdered a whole town of people, the first non-human people known to mankind, leaving just 1 solitary survivor to tend the bodies, just to eat their sole box of cereal. Was it worth it, Jim? WAS IT?
It just sets your expectations so low and then it comes at you with the mysterious mountain and your wonder builds, so when you get to the top and there's actually something there it just blows your mind. Well played, devs.
Nice to see Farcry 3 on the ps4 making a comeback.
The Seaman Nice try.
The Seaman Really is telling when this game is "graphical intens" for a PS4 player.
7 days to die is graphically intense for ps4 users
OrionPrime Nice to see Red Dead Redemption on PC! ....oh wait...
As a man in 2018, I cannot help but to make a face with shit-eating grin after seeing this comment....
Finally, someone made a game about one of the many Polish army camps of the Pacific.
Why do indie games love stranding us on deserted islands..?
I mean, is this some popular fetish I didn't know about? Did everyone watch Tom Hank's _Cast Away_ film and fell in love with Wilson?
Paradox Acres well, its convenient. with an island you wont have to make an effort with decent looking background landscape. you can just put some water and a skybox an call it a day
You mean you watched cast away and _didn't_ fall in love with Wilson?
Wilson xxx
Of course, in an Island Simulator you'll find a German pistol, shoot Lizard folks, and drink random milks all around the place without caring if its spoiled or not. Yup, totally accurate simulator.
Not to mention the aparently 3rd build prototype of the Maus in a polish militarybase
A German pistol AND a German tank CERCA WW2 in a supposed POLISH army camp
22:07 "I mean it's simulating *a kind* of island. Like if there was a sea of creativity... and content, *this* would be an island in that." Jim Sterling, 2016
Goodness, Jim, gems like these are why watching your videos in full is worth it.
i like how the story is "we sent soldiers to this island and havent heard back, so now we're sending you" and then it turns out the soldiers are fine until you are forced to kill them for whatever reason
So... what were the Poles DOING in there?
Did they have a deal with the lizard-men?
Why did they have so much cereal and milk?
What happened to the special forces?
What did we find at the end? Was it the cornflakes homunculus?
"Fuckin' tosser! Yer milk's mine! And yer crunchy cereal." - Jim sterling, cereal mascot.
So... to recap, we found a luger, an american jeep, a tiger tank, a ppsh, a k-98, a fucking _maus_ and a modern uzi in a polish military base that's on a jungle island at the top of a mountain that's been attacked by lizard people who live in Aztec ruins. Sounds about right.
Somebody had to justify buying a WW2 asset pack, didn't they?
Eon2641 not to mention an island pack with maybe a fantasy pack?
that looked like a mosin nagant not a k-98 but it was so horribly textured maybe a gun nerd can answer.
Zaticus I'm just guessing , besides the model being pretty poor quality the gun textures are also all messed up so it's kind of hard to be sure. Either way, whoever cobbled this together has never heard the word "cohesive".
Zaticus The ammo Jim picked up was 7.62 x 54R which is exactly what a Mosin Nagant shoots. The Kar 98 shot 7.92 x 57 and I didn't see any of that being picked up. The bolt on the gun model also has the same Bolt as my Mosin Nagant. From the information here I can conclude that it is a Mosin Nagant and not a Kar 98 :p
geozhukov Fair enough, either way it shouldn't be there lol.
Statistically speaking this is someone's favorite game ever.
"Thirsty? No problem, I can drink from the ocean!" - Jim Sterling 2016
2 posetive reviews on steam and they have a few identical sentences. They didn't even bother to write convincing fake reviews.
Well at least none of there soldiers had not returned.
Gigacorona Glad the soldiers all made it back home.
"none of our soldiers had not returned."
so they all came back? huh?
Thomas Jenkins It's a 2016 miracle.
How did he know I was an engorged flap? Witch!
Burn the witch! He turned me into a *BOGLIN*!
LJStudio Did you get better?
LJStudio He turned me into a pog once.
I don't want to talk about it...
They missed a beat here. Should of been called Castaway Simulator 2016! Starring Timothy Hunks.
So.... the character is literally jamming the butt of the gun up to, or even into, his eyeball when aiming down sights. Brilliant stuff.
"I'm going to enhance the image by getting up close to the screen", Jim Sterling 11-29-16 voted best quote of the year.
Great content showing off crappy games who would have thought, Great video Jim keep it up. :P
...I actually love Boglin Watch... Unironically..
moloha95 same...
Me too! It's just a bit of fun, and clearly something Jim cares about. I like hearing folk talk about things they enjoy.
@10:04 That gun aiming is absolutely wonderful.
Loading screens are part of the Island experience. Always waiting for something to happen.
'i have to enhance the image by getting closer to my screen' - I wish CIS would use that method =P
the ogre battle reminds me of the classic Indiana Jones bit - shooting the epic sword fighter
I've worked for two full time years on an original game and I still feel I'm ripping people off for asking 5 bucks for it.
... Fortunately sometimes I see complete shits like these. B-)
Good luck :)
Thanks. ;-)
Cold Shiny I did everything myself except for the sound design made by a friend.
give us a Link... let this ...lovely.. Communitie decide if it is a rip off or not :)
Well, to be honest I'm not sure I want to associate my games with this account. I tend to have bold statements on RUclips that can piss some people off, and I don't want to attract trolls or bad publicity. x)
(But I don't think 5 buck's too much, I simply think that sometimes. ^^' )
i lost it when the ogre boss died from one bullet
Island Simulator 2016 in early access in December 2016. This game will be outdated by the time it gets its full release...
Implying this game will ever have a full release, lol
This game would have looked outdated in 2008
it's always nice to just listen to you and how your day went even if it was ages ago
Every time he drinks milk he becomes more and more like William DaFoe.
when he aimed the gun the first time, I lost my shit.
Wow. A game that lets you play as a really... violent cereal ad villain?
"Do you remember when old video games?" Yes. Yes I do. Thank God for JFSS
Based on the eye level in relation to the foilage and the tent doorways, the player character is barely three feet tall. That might be why the gun models look gigantic.
We are apparently just a toddler.
"Not had not returned" So everyone made it back safely.
The game where apperently a polish base has Jeeps, HMMVW's Tiger 1 and Panzer VII Maus super heavy tanks...wat.
I really hope the "enhance image" technique will become a thing, like during the Jimquisition you'd declare something about a hard to see object, and then proceed to reassure everyone that you even "enhanced" the image.
"The base is located on an island at the very top of the mountain."
"None of our soldiers had not returned"? So...everyone's returned? So what's the problem?
24:03 Actually, Jim, that's how rain looks from afar. City boy, aren't you?
Jim...this is like the best review you've done in a while. I dunno if its my mood is just right for it but I just kept thinking this is good.
Boglin Watch 2016!!!! By your number one Boglin Boy. Love that series, keep it up Jim
2:30
As low as eighteen
And as high as sixteen
What?!
SixtY.
I guess someone has hearing problems.
***** Yeah says the one who fucks with the space time continuum.
get you hearing checked, he said sixty, not sixteen
Sean Sealey damn man you don't have to be so negative
Whats the specs of the computer? was this run on a 6850k and at titan XP?
This immediately reminded me of that old Stranded II game, man that was fantastic.
6:28 Why is the island on the top of a mountain?
Yes that is the question I chose to ask
I pretty sure that ogre was just there for sight seeing "hey did you seen this magnificent jung...ow!"
Love how the credits say "some or all of the games assets used in this game are copyright silverline studios". Surely they've misspelled none there.
Cms2402 No, that's how asset stores generally work. Assuming they bought them legitimately, they own a license and the copyright to the assets as they pertain to the game. They just can't resell them as .fbx files or whatever they are.
It's kinda dumb, but that's how it works.
Finally, the spiritual successor to Jurassic Park Trespasser we've been waiting for!
What island was that simulating?
You can start the DLC story unaware from the base game only to be denied at the last hurdle by the game telling you in-game to buy more shit in order to continue? What the fuck do they think this is, Dragon Age?
Good to see people are still playing the original Far Cry
"Oo, saucy meatballs!" that needs to be a catchphrase
Just in time to steal GOTY. Well done Developer X.
I got a smile when he went through the tunnel near the end and thought about Event Horizon at the same time he said it, who else?
Lol, your thirst reset once you loaded into the building, I don't think you noticed that. Top notch game & level design though, just wow.
"Maybe there's milk at the top of that temple..."
Said no brave explorer ever
Until this day in 2016
When a
poorly formatted youtube
comment
Added it in quotes,
forever immortalizing this
moment.
this is the best youtube video ever made
island simulator... if the island was set in some twilight zone scrapped episode, of someone living in a still image of an island... set in hell
"we actually found a thing, and a thing happed".......pretty much me in modern games, except things never end up happening
I love that "Halt" sign in the Polish base.
"Cause your too busy, you know, looking for the f@#*ing milk" 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
No man is a simulated island, entire and of itself.
27:23 "Anyone in here guarding the milk?"
Best game ever
The firing sound of the Luger is the exact same one as the silenced Luger from Return To Castle Wolfenstein. :P
These games make super man 64, et look like a masterpiece
Jim please do a part 2 on this one!
I can't wait to hear more about those boglings...
Why are there Pz.Kpfw VI Tigers and a Pz.Kpfw. VIII Maus tanks as well as Flakvierling 38 Anti-Air turrets, Soviet PPSh SMG and a P08 Parabellum inside what looks to be a US army base? What kind of army is this?
21:20 is that a WW2 German tank? Right after you’ve picked up an uzi? I come seeking answers but find only more questions.... So many questions...
How'd that tiger get there? Lol was Rommel lost?
Not to Forget about the fucking MAUS!
This isn't Final Fantasy 15 so I guess it takes literally a million years to download?
hjk
Thomas Middleton Fuck that!
Isaac Thefallenapple it does
Shame on you Jim. The man clearly has a severe calcium deficiency and needs all the milk he can get to survive or his bones will erode into nothingness. That sort of serious illness should never be mocked in the manner you did.
Still the reigning king of awkward sign offs.
Does your hunger and thirst just go back to 100 every load screen?
It was to painful to watch until the end. I admire your perseverance and mental stability to play abominations like this without going insane.
I feel this game is teaching us that snake people actually control the milk industry
I used this program to make a little game on a college open day about 5 years ago, i remember those rooms , fps creator a think its called, don't seem to have even changed the assets either
Two positive reviews. One of them is a copy and paste of another one where they only played the mandatory 6 minutes... TOTALLY NOT PAID OFF!
Got milk simulator 2016.
Ah yes, Poland is known for having tropical islands full of lizardmen and milk.
*watches credits* Aaaaah, that explains it.
so, how do you know how far the loading proces is ?
almost unreadable stats ..oof
short piece of action this game has
Welcome to DLC Island. We hope you massively over pay for your stay.
When I saw the performance, I was briefly tricked into thinking it was being played on a PS4 Pro.
Engorged flaps has to be the nastiest Jimism.
Those portals sure as hell don't belong in that universe
I almost died of thirsty once, but then I found some milk and didn't thirsty anymore.
lmao the 1 shot big troll while the smaller lizards took up to 3.
"Thirsty Thirty Three" sounds like an evil villain organisation comprised of sex-starved weirdos.
Or a sequel to The Hateful Eight
+Reese Burns
...which is a sequel to The Magnificent Seven.
No thats Ocean's Eleven.
Also Jim (just to piss you off) have you TRIED playing No Man's Sky Foundation Update?
It's April 2019, Island Simulator 2016 has now 7 user reviews and is still in Early Access.
New Jim video and just found out there was a Halloween toon from Homestar Runner. Good day.
SilentPony homestar runner is the best
Hey, Strong Bad, I really like your British PC gamer costume.
What does this simulator exactly simulate?
jim loves milk so much he turns in to the Merchant from resident evil 4
that Oger Troll thing made me laugh tears 😂
6:17 .... How is there an island at the very top of a mountain?
"Flaps." - Gavin Free, 2013 or so.