I'm aroace too and when I was like 8 my friends were talking about crushes and they asked me about a crush, and I literally, in that moment, saw the new kid from class walking by and said "that's my crush" I came home and even told my mom. Then she asked me about it a couple days later and I was like... who(?
Jaden is hated by Republicans for this video here. Many freaked out over it. While LGBt is a-political and an LGBT-Agenda is not-real and made-up, an anti-lgbt-agenda is sadly real though. Aka Hate. I mean, i dont wanna make some yt-content political, lol, but it is what it is: We do have in america an anti-lgbt-group... and its called... republicans...
my mom is actually asexual. the idea of being with a guy has always grossed her out UNTIL she met my dad. but they have a very interesting story. an actual romance novel story lmao but she grew up in the 70s and had no idea what it was called. even with my dad i don't wanna say she doesn't *enjoy* the sexual stuff. but she enjoys the intimacy and the fact that she knows that's HIS love language. but she would prefer cuddling & hand holding? ya feel? but if she says no, he's like "okay" so it's interesting. because you have a minority (asexual) of a minority (lgbtq+) so yeah. it's not really commonly talked about.
Asexuality wasn't fully described by Jaiden, but the thing with asexuality, is that it's not celibacy or abstinence. Asexuality is the lack of internal emotional feeling of being drawn to people to have sex with them. Some asexuals abstain and feel repulsed by sex, but other can be favorable. I as a sex-favorable ace would be down for sex as an activity sort of thing. It has the same emotional value as skydiving, or doing some other intense activity. Due to being aro, I'm not likely to encounter sex as an option of activity as I'm not drawn to people romantically either, but oh well. Being aro or ace isn't the same as abstaining from the activities of romance and sex. That is unfortunately a common misconception and leads to people believing it's a lifestyle and not real emotional thing.
Yeah! I'm aroace and I feel the same way about it. Partnered sex is not off the table, but it's just so very unlikely I'll ever actually encounter the circumstances where that was likely going to happen. And that doesn't bother me. Just like skydiving, I could live my whole life without ever experiencing partnered sex and I would be content with that.
@@Kotifilosofi I seriously had to have the argument with a sex-repulsed ace that you can have sex with your partner willingly and still be ace. It was so foreign to them that you could equal sex to, say, watching a movie together. Even if you might not particularly want to watch that particular movie, you could still do it to make your partner happy, without it being, as they put it "coercion". I was honestly a bit shocked.
@@Sigart yeah. Or you could actually even prefer the activity itself for the physical pleasure, and still be ace. You could try it to explore yourself, or whatever other reason. People can have consensual sex without being attracted to each others. To suggest otherwise is rather aphobic.
I'm part of the romance/smex indifference side of aroace, which means I'm really "meh" about the two attractions. Like there are days when I seem to think I'm favorable towards the idea of romance and smex, but in comes in the averse side of it coming in like "stop thinking that" lol. It honestly makes writing romance and erotica stories interesting with the whole push and pull feeling that ends up in a take a break for the characters until the next time.
To see you guys come into the video asking "what is that?" to using the terms Aromantic and Asexual, and understanding their individual meaning is so awesome. Spreading awareness not only benefits the person who spreads it but others like them and even those who aren't. It just makes the world a better place when we better understand each other. Empathy and kindness come from understanding and the willingness to.
I actually understand what it feels like to have being in a relationship pushed on you. While I'm straight and haven't gone through the exact same things as Jaiden, I still felt pressured to be dating someone. I'm definitely into guys, but when I was younger I didn't care about that stuff. I just wanted to be a kid and enjoy myself but I was always asked by friends and family if I had a crush or if I was dating someone, but whenever I said no, I was asked if I was gay because I wasn't dating a guy in middle school or high school. Even now, I'm still asked this. I'm almost 22 and have never dated a guy or had sex with anyone and I'm fine with that because I don't want to rush anything. I already have friends who are married with kids and a couple of them are younger than me. My main problem is people putting this pressure on children. Whether the kid is straight, gay, bi, pan, etc., I feel like they shouldn't be rushed into a relationship so young. I think they should be able to just enjoy life without feeling like their life has caught up to them at a young age.
@@bullymaguire5838 I from Ohio. Nothing major, but my parents never pressured me to date or do anything like that. I also wasn't allowed to get a job until I graduated. I didn't get my first job until I was 19.
I feel this so much! 😂 my parents never pressured me to date (I think my dad would’ve been happy if I never dated anyone XD) but my family outside my parents were always like: do you have a boyfriend??? No one ever assumed I was gay (probably just cause I did briefly date two guys in high school) but now that I’m in my mid 20s and don’t have anyone, it’s all they ask 😂 I’m just wondering what ever happened to “how are you”.
This feeling.. I know it. I learned to ride bike before bicycle. when you hit the accelerator over 40 , your heart says "Calm down I can't handle it. I want speed but I'm not familiar with the fastness and motion." The thing is we want a person who can talk with us and spend enough time. so we can be open with them. we don't want to share ourselves with unfamiliar one. we are afraid that they may not care or leave us with our heart open , and this is understandable feeling. people shift their attention too fast these days. we introverts are like heavy protein ,we take time to digest , people want the chocolate and ice-cream. I was a fat boy till 18. I'm straight and was always interested in girls ,but never talked to any, coz I knew there's no chance they'll be interested in me. So I trained a mind muscle to push people away from my heart, a survival mechanism to not to get hurt. truth is bitter. did boxing for 3 year , got fit. and I know that girls find me interesting now. I'm 23 now. But I am kinda afraid to rush. I have two ways:- 1. I should learn the bicycle again. to fall again and again. and get familiar with the usual speed (meaning usual dating, applying tricks etc. learning everything like others from start ) will I be able to handle that now ? that's the question . 2. I should collect the money and buy a car . (means I find a mature person who know about life and not just jumping around with Harmons.) Will I find that person ? that's the question. Both needs further exploration . But either way. I acknowledge the fact that I'll be fine with myself and possibly with others. I learned many other things during this time. learned to I understand humans.
Jaiden makes 200% sense to me. Honestly, it’s one of the only things about romance that I understand. Never feeling attraction, feeling left behind by your friends and the world bc the world is weirdly obsessed with love and lust when you can’t relate, getting annoyed whenever people ask if you got a partner yet like its something I can pick out at a pet mart. 🤷♀️🤦♀️
Literally Jaiden’s video and her describing her experiences made me realize I’m asexual lol. I’m super happy she made the video bc I seriously thought I was just insane.
Her video was what made me realize I'm aroace too and it was such an eyeopener. Especially that part where she was sitting in the car and was like 'wait people are actually feeling these things!? They are not joking!?' For 24 years I've been walking around thinking everyone was just faking romance and attraction like we were all part of a giant play y'know? Then this video popped up in my recommendations and it all just clicked. I've been identifying as bi and/or pan for most of my life because just as Jaiden said "0+0=0 so i guess i'm bi/pan?" But after watching this video I finally felt like i had found what I am. Thank you for reacting to this video! I think it's so important to raise awareness that this is a thing that exist and seeing you reacting to it was really refreshing. Even though I also would like to point out that yes, your right that most people do calculate pros and cons but the thing about being aromantic is that we literally physically arent capable of having romantic feelings. Which apparently is something people who arent aromantic don't have much problem with. Just wanted to clarify that difference.
I watched this a while before I realised I was aroace (i thought when i first watched it, you haven’t experienced love yet but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen,) but in my experience at school I didn’t understand that romance was real because I thought it was a game kids liked to play on each other. One time, my friend tried to set me up with a guy and i skipped school the next day because i was humiliated that people were talking about us. I didn’t understand that she was trying to make me feel happy, i thought she was taking a joke too far. I really did handle the situation poorly, but it was fifth grade 😂 I told myself countless times that I’d accept romantic relationships were real once i entered middle school, then high school, and although in high school i finally “accepted” it was real, being everywhere, i still didn’t feel or understand it so I just dismissed it. Personally, romance was never pushed on me. Any time anybody asked if i had a crush, i just said no, and no one asked further questions. Now, i can’t even remember what it was that made me realise, but even though I’ve never pressured myself into love it feels good knowing I’m aroace because it means there are other people with similar experiences.
I love that thinking your bi and/or pan or in my case, even poly seems to be a trait we all share as aro and/or ace spec people, cause one of my closest friends is arospec and he also spent a Long while thinking he was poly bi like me. The way I rationalised it was more I feel nothing for all genders equally...so I guess I'm likely to be attracted to every gender? The poly came into play cause I Knew I was asexual, sex-repulsed and all that so I was like, I guess if I wanna be in a relationship I can be in one with multiple people so that whoever my partner/s end up being, they can fulfil their emotional and sexual needs without me having to be involved. I now realise that I was clinging to romance because it's so hyped up by all the media and I never really experienced any romantic feelings and would be super uncomfortable with being in any sort of romantic or sexual relationship. Jaiden's video came in time to give me that extra push into accepting the aromantic aspect of my identity, seeing her talk so positively and somewhat openly about it really helped me figure things out and come to terms with being aroace.
I really love this video because I’m on both aro and ace spectrum and also non binary. It took me a long time to figure those things out, but even after I just felt really shitty. Like i was a non-human. The title is “not straight” and that’s also just how I felt for a long time. But it’s also really hard to feel like I have the right to even claim the word queer and I feel like an imposter basically everywhere. Like I want to show pride and solidarity with LGBTQ community but I just don’t face same oppressions and I’m there for like…lack of sexual attraction. Idk this video is almost 100% of my experience right down to faking crushes into my 20s. It’s super validating and reassuring just RELIEVING to see someone share such a similar experience and share how much confidence it gave them and to tell me I am still human
As a kid who is queer and has lots of queer friends, I can vouch for the fact that plenty of us do *not* know we are gay by the time we are five or six. I'm halfway through high school and I'm still very unsure of anything that has anything to do with sexuality It's confusing and scary at times, and I definitely feel pressure to already have everything figured out by now, which I know is unrealistic and not how sexuality works for plenty of ppl, but the pressure is still there Also, I had the exact same experience of "crushes" in elementary school. Constant "who's your crush?" conversations, and kinda just randomly choosing a guy I barely knew and felt no connection to and saying "that one" to feel included
Thank you!!! exactly my experience. lol compulsive heterosexuality am I right, took me 14 years to figure it out. Definitely remember trying to "choose a male crush". Not aroace, but a lesbian though a lot of share experiences
People talking about this video who are not on the ace/aro spectrum really justifies my asexuality. I love and respect that even though people can't directly relate to being asexual they can come to a logical and empathetic understanding. There's a lot of people who have the mentality "I don't understand this, you're wrong"
You're right Jaby, some of us realize we're gay at a really young age as well. I also knew when I was 5-6. And I may not be ace/aromantic, but for me relationships are as much a "business exchange" (pros-cons) as they are an emotional thing.
@@max55436 dude, most boys have crushes on girls since they were very young. But I was a boy who had on crushes on boys since I was very young, not girls. Why is one okay but the other is not, even though they're both pretty much the same?
I knew I was Ace in middle school which isn't that young but it's still pretty young. Everyone was talking about crushes and I just didn't see the point 😅
As someone who is AlloAce, where you like the romantic shite but don't have any interest in the fun times I relate to Jaiden on so many levels. And the fact that people are calling her problematic for this is insane. She's just helped so many people figure this shite out because it's not talked about enough. I was one of those people who thought I was broken for not being into the fun times. But nope. You're just fine the way you are. And people need to stop being all shitty about things. I completely feel the same way about crushes even with like cartoon crushes it's not a I WANT THAT NOW it's "they'd be a good friend" it's so WEIRD and hard to describe so I like that the ace community calls them squishies. ^_^
@@gearjams6263 it really is you haven't been through any of this We, the ppl living in rural areas are literally FORCED into marriages and sex saying it's normal and tge lack of education doesn't help at all
I can really appreciate this video, you really hit on some of the critical parts about the social implications of being aromantic/asexual. For me, I have no problem being on the aro/ace spectrum. My biggest issue was always not being able to truly relate to others and dealing with people making weird assumptions about me and asking weird questions because they've never seen me in a romantic relationship.
Well yeah. There’s logic to what she’s doing, and yes everyone does this to a degree. Some people do just get married for the business exchange thing, but she just doesn’t experience any of the other stuff
Exactly. The difference is that for her it's literally like a business deal to think about starting a relationship; no emotions, no motivation based on the said emotions, just the facts side of it. When I still thought I'll have to start dating like everyone else, I did the same thing. And no-one seemed like a good enough deal over the cons they had 😆
@@Kotifilosofi For me, I went with it under the thought "eventually I'll find someone I like", without actively searching out a relationship. Thanks to Jaiden's video it got me really thinking I probably was aroace. And now I'm proud to say I am.
Fun fact: Beofre I knew I was lesbian, I had a massive celebrity crush on Selma Gomez, Like I would always talk about how pretty and how beautiful her voice sounded at the age of 5-10?, And I look back on it now and it makes so much sense now 💀
Are these subjects not taught in schools yes? I’m a 35 year old boomer and even I have learned these things since elementary school, and always thought that these are common sense which most people would know and understand. But I guess that is not the case to everyone. Well I’m glad Jaiden finally figured that out!
I'm 25. I know noone, not in my age, not younger than me, nor older and in my parents age that got taught about this in school. If you did then good fo you! You were really lucky. But no, most schools dont teach it. In sweden when i was in high school we at most learned about hetero- homo and bi. And that was it.
I legit had the same feeling as her. I remember one time when my friend asked me if I had a crush and for some reason I felt like I had to say someone so I picked a random boy in my class. I’ve never been very interested in love because I feel like that’s so much work. Trying have a good time and trying to stay with your partner. And I still have this feeling.
23:47 I’ve thought that too! I wonder how many monks and nuns went a monastery just so they could do science and read and make beer or whatever without having to worry about looking weird for not being in a relationship.
I felt that pressure to have a crush as a kid too. Like we all liked this one band and they all chose the guy they have a crush on and I just didn't have one. So i panicked and randomly picked the guy that was left. Nowadays though, i develop crushes (especially celebrity crushes) very quickly and i kinda blame my childhood for that. Cause if I really sit back and think about those celebrities I'm like "I mean.. They're attractive but would I want them? No. Cause I don't even know them"
That's not it. "AroAce is where you aren't into the romantic stuff at all. Or feel much of anything regarding fun times. ALLOACE is where you like the romance but don't like the fun times.
@@TheRibottoStudios Allo describes people who are neither aromantic or asexual. And then you can add it to one of them to show you are just asexual or just aromantic (since people tend to lump them together).
I’ve experienced romantic and sexual attraction but never had any desire to be in a relationship. People think I’m hiding something or lying to myself and that pressure even made me doubt myself. But thank god I never have to be young again. Now at 39 I can just say, “I’m attracted to guys and I can have romantic feelings really easily, but I have absolutely zero desire to be in a relationship.” Not sure what that makes me. Probably polysomething, but I’m not bothered. I can go to bed with someone without romantic feelings. I can have romantic feelings and not be sexually attracted to someone. But either way…. At some point you gotta go home, bro.
@@ZhangtheGreat Oh god, I did come across that way a bit, didn’t I? 😂 I should clarify that I’m not throwing people out or being rude about it. I can chill with a guy for a night or a couple days. I just meant that I never had that feeling of, “Wow, it’d be really cool if you were just ALWAYS here.” That’s the part I can’t wrap my head around anyone desiring. I come home and he like… lives here too?! And he always will? That is just not something I ever wanted even as a kid.
Well yeah, it's not like no aces were into sex... but we're not into people. We don't _need_ that component of sexual activity to be satisfied like allo (non-ace) people do, whether or not we do any sexual acts and regardless of how often. Other humans can still be included for various of reasons, but they're not necessary to us to feel content and sexually fulfilled. I absolutely love the ace community because it's the only place where you can talk about sex and sexuality totally platonically, "as a matter of fact" way. And being an adult ace person, that's so refreshing.
I myself am aroace, and went through an extremely similar experience to Jaiden, except it got weird because the guy I convinced myself I had a crush on actually had a crush on me for uh… *years*. Like, this guy apparently had a crush on me since he met me, which is insane to me. We ended up dating for a bit before we both found the community, and agreed to break up so we could explore it more, and I found Aroace, and realized, yep, yep that’s me. The guy I was dating ended up just being straight, but Is in another relationship, and fully supports me as an aroace, and is actually really defensive of me, like he gets angry when someone is rude about it and everything. Now im best friends with his girlfriend, and going to be a bridesmaid at their wedding.
Jaiden's video helped me figure out i was Aro, already figured out on my own that i was ace but she just explained it in such a relatable and easy to understand manner it really helped.
I understand pretty much everything she talks about in this video, because I'm AroAce too- and I feel a lot of the same things she talks about. When I was really little like first grade or second grade I remember having a specific mindset with marriage and relationships and love and stuff, and it was that if someone else wanted that then it was whatever. I guess I could live with that. I actually kissed a boy on the cheek just because he seemed to like me and I thought that was the right thing to do even though I didn't really have attraction, I wwas pretty much just pretending When I got older and started to realize I'm Aromantic, because I went as just Asexual for a few years and realized I'm both, it was a weird process- the first thought I had was '..I'm never going to experience love or anything like that after waiting so long trying to feel it?' Because I always thought love was this big grand thing that just kind of happens or hits you when it hits you, I've never felt any kind of powerful emotion like love in my life and that all of it was greatly exaggerated. I wanted a taste of that for a long time because I thought something was just wrong with me, and it hurt a bit, I'll be honest. Waiting and realizing you're waiting for nothing can be weird and upsetting but by now I've kind of gotten over it? It's a little annoying having to explain to people what it is. The conversation usually goes 'you know how people do this? Well I don't, but I DO do this-' and them still not getting it, which I understand. Anyway rant over, I'm 15 btw so yeah take that into account however you'd like
I really relate to jaidan, I didn't know about asexuality and all until my junior year of high school. And when I did, everything sort of clicked for me. I'm demis. and demiromatic In my mid twenties and I've only felt true attraction to one person.
It's actually really cool seeing 2 people go into this video not really knowing what Aro/Ace means, and taking it on board. So many people reject what they don't understand as being wrong, or not factual without listening first. So this is a great reaction to the video!
Not wanting to be overly political, but yeah, just face it: Conservatives, Republicans and Christianity are the 3-TOP-Sources where LGBT-Hate emanates from. I dont know who didnt knew that, but yeah, vote for a Party please that isnt OPENLY anti-jaden-animation, uhm, i mean... anti-lgbt?
@@spiritedkodama3508 Yes, unfortunately. People really; for example; praise DeSantis, the One who makes Florida 'Gay-Proof' right now, even when they themselves arent homohpobics.
I’m aroace but specifically lithromantic and ace spec (lithromantic is when someone’s feeling will fade when they are reciprocated) and at 9:45 I didn’t realise how relatble that is especially in primary school cause I remember my friends getting into relationships and I was like I want that so I got my friends and myself to ask out a whole bunch of boys even though I don’t have feelings for them.
As someone who's never had anybody you get used to the loneliness on Valentine's Day after 30 years. But what's the difference between best friend and boyfriend/girlfriend? Isn't that like literally what it is? Personally to me things like the term "try to get them into your bed" just sounds...unnerving and kind of sickening to me.
A best friend relationship is usually like... you remain two individuals that are just really close. If you want to buy a pool, you can, they only get a say if you give them one. Your lives are basically in parallel. There aren't any real expectations of you living together, moving in together, etc. either. A partner can and preferably SHOULD be one of your best friends as well as your partner. If the romantic or sexual aspects weren't there, they should still be someone you care about and want to spend time with and enjoy the company of. But more is expected of you as a partner. As the partner, you are the expected go to if they get sick. As the partner, you are the expected go to if they are acting weird with people to ask them what is up and check on them. As the partner, there is a stronger expectation for you to keep them in check if they act rude or say something insensitive to other people but also to DEFEND them if other people act toxic/rude to them. A romantic relationship is like, you are both individuals but you are also a team that agreed to work together, to engage in particular romantic and/or sexual actions, divide responsibilities and make an enjoyable fun life together or possibly even raise a family. You're CHOOSING to shape your lives together as an entwined unit over all with individual branches off for when you do stuff with friends, family or on your own. It is MUCH harder to walk away from than a friendship because often you share finances, share living spaces, and may have things you share together such as children or furniture or pets that can't always be neatly divided. There can be blurred lines as different people have DIFFERENT BOUNDARIES. Some best friends will cuddle or share a bed or stuff because they are platonic and trust each other or they might share a house, kids or even pets. But this is rare. Usually the line is drawn at sharing an apartment or cuddling but may go into sharing a bed with friends you really trust. It usually doesn't go further than that in terms of intimacy or sharing stuff for best friends. A partner isn't ALWAYS a FRIEND or the person closest to you though. If you meet them at a bar or cafe or something, you may ask them out or have sexual relations with them based on attraction. Then your relationship builds based on what you know about them or may disintegrate when you learn they are say, a Neo-Nazi or they hate cats. There isn't always the FOUNDATION of a friendship underneath a romantic relationship or the closeness of one. A 2 week boyfriend, most people would toss if made to choose between them and a 10 year best friend. Usually you hope to build to a point where they are your closest person if you meet in such a way.
@@ss.surprise That...that just sounds completely alien to me. Why would you get together with someone simply because of how they look? That...I know people are different, but that just sounds...bad.
This is the thing I think I might be aro or ace but I actually really enjoy romance and love stories…. Stories in general but like I’ve never felt like wow I want to go out with that person I just sorta thought yeah that naturally the next step, is to develop crushes but like it’s not like I actually liked any one , even my first boyfriend i did it cuz my friends had one but like it felt tedious and like chatting any other friend yeah I dunno what tf is up with me
i relate to that. like yea i kinda wanna be in a relationship but do i actually feel those things? no. but being aromantic is a big spectrum and this is definitely part of it!
You can 100% be aro/ace and still enjoy romance as a conecpt, youre just not romantically attracted to people yourself. Theres a microlabel for it too, Aegoromantic.
oh i realize except for me its for memories. im a writer so i visualize everything i create but when it comes to memories they are hazy at best. like i can see someone and go "they look familiar" but i cant tell where from. or if i think of someone i know, i cant clearly visualize them. rather its my family members or an ex
I remember when I was a kid, sometimes my mom would out of the blue tell me it was weird that I didn't have any celebrity crushes. I thought gushing about celebrity crushes was annoying, and couldn't understand how you would get a crush on someone you didn't even know. For me, I'm pretty sure I just misunderstood what a crush was. I remember those "tunnel vision" moments I would also have, but I call them "friend crushes." Basically wanting to be around someone who you just want to be around because they make you feel positively. Then when I got a partner I was confused as heck as to why intimacy made me uncomfortable. I realized something might be different about me, and Jaiden's video made me realize I wasn't straight either.
This is just wonderful to see, and detailed enough about the awkwardness of youth that it drives home the point well...even if it's a bit mis-titled for extra click-ability. We all live in our own heads, a collection of our own experiences and thoughts, and that biases us against other perspectives. Getting people out of their own perspective and giving them a window into the actual experiences and inner thoughts of another...through the medium of animation...is beautiful! I was a just a bit slow catching on that I was gay...at least by some standards. (There were warning shots now that I look back...but they weren't so obvious that someone with no context would recognize them.) Puberty was just around the corner, I was 11, and my first crush was a guy on the track team at my JH. It was 1980...so obviously that wasn't acceptable. Upsetting, but since I wasn't all the way into puberty the intensity dial was pretty low. When HS started, the dial got turned to max, and in my case that's pretty high...so there was no ignoring it internally...but since, again, it was 84 to 87, there was also no showing it externally. Side effect of all that simmering hormonal fury...I fought pretty much anyone over anything for years, racking up suspensions and detentions until I barely graduated on time. Certainly tried to foster attraction to women, unsuccessfully, lived in a culture that had no or almost no openly out gay icons or supportive atmosphere, and was right in the middle of a fast-growing epidemic (AIDS) that stoked massive waves of homophobia. Despite all the negatives, despite the lack of support or education, even in a vacuum devoid of positive LGBTQ+ imagery/media...I was and remained gay. It was, no matter how much certain people try to reimagine the situation for their political/religious comfort, an intrinsic part of who I am, beyond mere sexuality. It is woven into the fabric of my nature and cannot be unraveled. After college I finally dropped the act, left the closet behind, and experienced the almost indescribable joy of being myself and no longer lying or continually self-editing around loved ones. The freedom honesty brings IS the reason the word 'gay' became the universal term for liberation in the 60s/70s. Lighthearted, effervescent joy. In due deference to honesty, after a long enough time and enough people met, I did discover that I have a very faint attraction to a few women...one out of tens of thousands at best. IF they closely resemble Joan Jett...or are, actually, Joan Jett...then there does seem to be some opposite sex attraction possible. The question becomes 'is that sufficient basis to fake a relationship and just play make believe for decades in order to produce offspring and avoid societal disapproval?' The answer, fairly obviously, is no. I stay in my comfort zone...much a like a straight guy who is genuinely straight, but can't help side eyeing Jason Momoa. Not just any dude...just Jason Momoa or people who could be his stunt double. It doesn't change their basic nature...and it wouldn't justify abandoning their entire array of traditional attractions that are experienced daily. If the rest of the world just got comfortable with some elementary truths about human nature...I suspect we'd all be a lot happier and healthier.
Ya, society is highly into pressuring people. I'm not aromantic at all, but when I was a teen, I had a somewhat small friend group. There were just so many people to choose from and I wasn't particularly interested in any of them. Still, it was the thing to have a crush, even amongst the guys. It's all they would talk about. So, I said I had a crush on this one girl. I could go on talking about it for a while, just as they talked about theirs. Later, one of my friends and her started getting close and he got this immature (teens, right?) jealousy thing going on. He knew I claimed to have a crush on her, so he would brag about making out with her and stuff to me to get back at me for having a crush on her. I even would sit there and take it while I kind of felt sad for him not knowing I didn't care in the least as I never really thought of her as anything more than a friend. Actually, I think he caught on after a while as I never showed an ounce of anger or anything about his brags. The thing was, if you didn't have a crush, many of the kids would avoid you because they wanted to talk a about their crushes. The same thing happens with couples. Couples start excluding single people from their social lives, because they are wanting to share their couple experiences with other people. Also, people with kids will exclude other people without kids. That's both because they want shared experiences and also because people without kids are kind of douche bags about the kids. Come on, it's true. So, while I don't understand aromaticness fundamentally, I can see how something like that could be crushing in a world like ours. If you don't fake relationships and crushes, you will be excluded from many social activities and relationships. Nevermind if they have the type of parents who never shut up about getting married and having kids. Good lord that would suck for that kind of person.
Valentine's Day used to bother me because I'm never with anyone but only when I was young ish but I've been fine with it n being alone n am super fine with being solo. I feel better when I'm solo
I didn't know about these things before but I think I'm a aromatic person. Like I am 20, I am not really attracted to anyone. Before seeing this video I didn't know about my feelings. My all friends are in relationships but I never feel like going in a relationship with any person or I don't have any romantic interest for anyone. I don't know if I am right but I can feel this video
I actually relate to Jaiden's video a lot myself. I recently discovered that I'm pan/recipro, which basically means I'm romantically attracted to all genders (the panromantic part), but only if said other person is attracted to me first (the reciprosexual part.) Even then, it's rare for me to feel any sort of romantic attraction towards anyone, even if they themselves are attracted to me, it just really depends on the person and what my initial opinion is about them based on how they've acted towards others. I thought for the longest time that I was bi or pan too, because I honestly didn't really care what gender someone was at the end of the day. I'm not repulsed by the idea of sex, I just don't think it's something I want for myself.
about ur gay friend, i think the term you’re referring to is demisexual. it falls under the asexual umbrella, and its when someone only feels sexual attraction after a strong emotional bond is formed. so you could only be interested in someone after you’re close friends with them, etc.
Oh wow would you look at that... I guess I'm aro.... learning everyday more and more about yourself huh. And I've always since a relatively young age looked into things like... "should I go along with this? Is that gonna be something I actually want and not regret later on?" Even with games and when my parents wanted to buy something for me as a gift like a toy (cuz I don't ever really ask for anything).
Thanks Jaby for talking about with 5-10 years old that we already have some fantasies... it's very weird, probably why most people don't talk about it. because a "child" is innocent, the only logic for society. our brain can focus on so many things, especially with the evolution of the world, so many subjects to focus on... my family and close friends already know that i can spend my all day for years playing video games and don't have any contact with people. and i'm happy. even do it's very weird to them, they learned that with time. being happy it's all that matters :)
The way how you said you already know what your fetishes are as a kid, I kinda relate. I mean as a kid, I didn't know what a fetish was, but when I learned what a fetish is and what my fetishes were when I was around 16, I realized that yeah, I've always had those. I kinda relate to Jaiden too. I'm not asexual or aromantic, but I'm demiromantic. It's somewhere close to aromantic and it's when people can be attracted to someone else only after they learned to know this person. And I also relate to the crush thing. I saw how people had crushes on other people, and some people had crushes on fictional people. So I pretended to have a crush on Yuri from Doki Doki Literature Club because I relate to her a lot. The only person who knew was my sister and she made fun of me for it, thinking it was genuine when it was actually not. I also realized I'm demiromantic thanks to my only romantic relationship. I spoke to that girl online for months before developing feelings and eventually asking her out. Eventually we broke up, but it was thing we both wanted because our romantic feelings for each other kinda went away over time, but we're still friends.
I'm also aroace spec. Crushes confused the hell out of me when I was a kid, I thought crushes was just like idolizing people you respect so much or like. I had a crush on someone, but being in relationships with that person never came to my mind. I quickly realize that I reciprocate what people do to me when I got my first boyfriend, he basically confessed first and it made me realize that dang I need them to tell me what they want first for me to fully understand. The point that made me realize I'm asexual spec is that when I'm in highschool, me and my classmates love to watch movies. Everytime a kissing scene or the passionate hugging scene came up I cringed and looked away. One friend of mine said that I'm weird for that. Turns out I'm ace.
i relate to her experience, as I can't say as a 20 yr old that I have ever had a crush on someone and even if I have, it could turn on or off quite easily, and it never expands to sexual (beyond kissing) desires towards them. I never see strangers and think ooh hot, unless I already have some type of relationship with them. I also confuse normal friendship and closeness with being a potential crush as I do not nkow what a crush is supposed to feel like. I def am attracted to female bodies and feminie/enby energy over masc energy, I don't use a label tho so who knows
I'm not aro or ace but I remember growing up having that pressure too, my mom asking me if I like a boy I was friends with or whatever. I didn't get a crush until I was 12 and imagine my surprise when it was a girl. I already had that expectation of heterosexuality on me by that age and thought something was wrong with me. My parents aren't even homophobic, they don't care at all that I'm a lesbian but even the little things growing up led to me thinking I felt the wrong way and I was supposed to like guys and not girls.
Companionship is mutually beneficial. In this type of relationship you have a person who is there to eat food with, watch TV or movies, maybe even sleep in the same bed, and financially partner up just no naughty adult fun time.
11:20 I mean .... no really. First of all, I don't have many friends (1-2). Second, I enjoy spending time alone, so yeah . . . having blast every year on Feb 14th, playing games when everyone else is bussy not bothering me :)
I think it's exciting to explore the variations of the human experience. It can be heartbreaking to realize how archaic indoctrinations have impeded the journeys, support and acceptance of healthy and happy people.
Unfortunately, a lot of people want things overly simple. Everything fitting into a neat little box to easily identify. Especially when it comes to aspects of sexual nature.
There have been sexless people forever. And I don't really think any culture has ever made a big deal about it like they have against gay or trans people. So.....you don't want to have sex or be in a relationship. It's pretty meh.
@@blackalien6873 ...You realize that there's also a lot of shit done to aroace people in an effort to "fix" them, right? And if youre only one but not the other, navigating relationships can be hell, and people can get REALLY nasty about it. I wouldnt say its as bad as how trans and gay people are treated, but saying that no one makes a big deal about it is plain wrong. Im both, and the amount of people who started accusing me of being mentally disturbed and needing "fixing", including via r4pe is absolutely abysmal.
@@blackalien6873 There actually has been. Asexualism was actually considered a mental illness for the longest time. Amd the thing about there being asexual people forever, it's the same with gay and trans people. Most ancient cultures were actually okay with gay people, particularly the Greeks and Romans. It was only once Christianity became such a big thing that people really became against homosexuality.
I’m like 99% sure that I’m aroace, but I still find enjoyment and engagement in certain romance fictions and… nsfw. I don’t think of any of it with myself as being part of it but rather as just a thing happening to these characters that I liked.
As someone who knows he aroace I will say being interested in romance fiction and NSFW stuff is pretty normal, it's a spectrum. Some people are absolutely disgusted by it others aren't
I liked vore as a kid. I'm a furry, bet you couldn't guess. I'm aromantic in a few ways, and in those same ways, it's technical. I have cognitive alexithymia, and I rarely experience romantic attraction, and to a not so bad extent. I'll feel bad about not having any partners, but'll think about partners as effectively friends with benefits, only not inherently sexual benefits, even if that's what I'd generally look for. I like the over-romanticized idea of being partners, more for the fact that someone is there for me, and I get to have someone to be more close with than anyone else, and less that it's them specifically that I'm close to. The only person at the center of my world is me, and only because I'm the only person who fits all of my qualifications, and not even by default. Also, because of the cognitive alexithymia, it can take me abit to realize I *was* into someone. One time I was into someone, and only realized I liked them to a romantic-esc extent, after realizing I liked them to a different extent. Also, despite being polysexual, I'm both homo(flexible)romantic and genderfluid, and after recently realizing that it's possible for my gender to be influenced by outside sources, the idea of having a partner became infinitely more terrifying and exciting. Also I have a fear of getting scared and am paranoid so those are very very very very very different things I just said. I still think of having (a) partner(s) as being beneficial, but also, I still see it in business terms, regardless of my plastic idea of it. I also feel like explaining that I in no way claim to be a surgeon, and while looking back at it Sherlock has always been objectively bad, I started watching that after it was obvious because I like people who aren't idiots and Sherlock fit that specification. Also, I hate The Good Doctor. Sherlock was better Sukhareva syndrome representation, atleast because Sherlock is supposed to be obscenely smart and observant, and not just: "detective but autism". (Edit): Holy shit it's Glep from Smiling Friends. Watch that.
I had a few crushes in elementary until I moved schools, then didn't find anyone truly attractive. I found a guy here or there cute but not really attractive, I had a couple boyfriends mostly jumped into relationships hoping for the best. Now I have a boyfriend that I for the first time am actually truly attracted to which is amazing and I love that I finally get to feel these feelings that people have told me about my whole life
This is very similar to how i am i mean i find women very attractive and beautiful but I have never been romantically attracted to women and now i know why great video
Its weird because my family is almost all in LGBTQA+ community. I for one am born male. Although i am very feminine and tend to go by They/Them. I like girls... but I also am very kinda... eh to love. I dont think im Aro/Ace. I think if anything im just super paranoid and scared to talk to people in general. I think for now my focus is actually being able to talk to people workout disappearing while there talking because socializing drains me super fast. It takes literally 10 minutes for me to go like "Yeah i need a nap" and then i do that.
Yeah since 4° grade I pretended that I had had that crush on a boy bc everyone had a crush. And my first ACTUAL crush I developed in 6° grade and this crush was a 2d caracter named N from murder drones, other than that I don't have a actual crush
Not wanting to be overly political, but yeah, just face it: Conservatives, Republicans and Christianity are the 3-TOP-Sources where LGBT-Hate emanates from. I dont know who didnt knew that, but yeah, vote for a Party please that isnt OPENLY anti-lgbt.
Oh yeah. 100% understand. I’m 19 years old and I quite literally have never felt attention in a “fall in love” way with anyone. I’m about to graduate and my friends are like “yoooo no girlfriend?” I’m like nope. They’re like “you’re okay with that?” I’m like yeeep.
Well, yes. People can and have entered relationships as though they were business exchanges or without the intention of love... but on the specific topic of having a "ROMANTIC" relationship, not having any feelings of love or attraction and only judging the pros/cons of having the relationship kind of excludes that relationship of actually being a romantic one no matter what you call it.
I personally have very little interest in romantic relationships. I've had 1 boyfriend my whole life and it was when I was 18 and in high school... I broke up with him after 2 weeks because I thought he was too clingy, my family said he was really nice, and he was, but I thought he came around too much. Looking back, considering it was just the beginning of a relationship it made sense he'd come around every day, and I probably just didn't want to be in a relationship... with anyone, even a nice guy, who was actually handsome in his tall dorky way. I have had a handful of crushes, and I can literally remember every single one of them, a boy when I was in kindergarten named Robin, a boy in middle school whose name I cannot remember, but I used to creep in the schoolyard watching him play basketball (I'll add it was a crush and not a love for basketball since I have zero interest in basketball) an older next door neighbor who was really cute and looked like a surfer dude when I was in high school (that crush lasted for a few months until I actually had a conversation with him and realized he was an idiot) A guy in high school named David, and a co-worker when I was in my 20s.... that's it, that's pretty much every single crush I've had without counting celebrities I think are cute, which I don't count... but for the most part I just have feelings of friendship for people. Do I want someone to be with? Sure, I like companionship, but I don't want to have the responsibility of a romantic relationship... Am I interested in sex? Yep... but then again, I don't need it either. My sister says the reason people don't come up to me and ask me out, or hit on me is that I put up this wall that says "JUST FRIENDS" and yes, I can make friends very easily, I've been told I'm very endearing, and I can accept that.
The thing is that aromantic is a spectrum. Some aro people are romance-repulsed and feel very uncomfortable seeing or hearing about romantic things. Some are very positive about romance. I mean there are romance writers who are aromantic. They might not like being in romantic relationship but they like to see and read and write about it. It is like fiction. Same about asexual folks. I saw NSFW artists who are asexual and this is perfectly fine. If they like or want to draw such stuff doesn’t mean they want actually participate in it. But yeah there are sex-repulsed asexuals as well. So hear me out. If you are aro or/and ace and don’t feel repulsed about romance and sex it doesn’t mean you are faking it.
I’ve identified as asexual, then I discovered demisexual (which is not wanting s*x until you’re comfy, trust the person, and when you feel okay to do it), and THEN i discovered GraySexual. And now I feel so at home. Its not wanting or experiencing se*ual attraction, but also having it sometimes :) i have never seen this video from Jaiden, and im sooo happy i fell on it. The Ace community needs to be talked about more!!
I'm still dancing around graysexual/romantic and asexual/romantic. I thought I found myself.. but I probably really am aroace? Well.. one way or another it's still a spectrum.. the confusion was most likely made from me thinking I felt romantic and sexual attraction once.. but it was all just aesthetic... and now I'm more and more repulsed...? idk 😂😂 I'm glad you found yourself, tho!
I wasn’t Demi, until a few years ago when I realised I just couldn’t have a physical relationship unless I connect to that person on a deeper level. I was just bisexual till then. Now I’m Demi-bisexual. I love sex, but I need to feel that connection before I jump into it or else it’s just weird for me. 😌✋
How did you discover you were demi and not ace? Were you sex repulsed before, are you demiromantic as well? Was it a shock, did it feel like 'losing' your identity bc you seemed completely ace or were there grey / demi signs all along?
10:10 I once had a crazy thought that if I traveled back in time and made sure that Jaby married his first ever Girlfriend then we would never have to hear another Ex-Girlfriend Story again 😂😂😂😂 But it took me only a few seconds to also realise that the PARADOX here was that in that future or timeline in all probability Anthony Alba would never pursue his passions as much and find a regular job to settle down with his wife and thus "Jaby Koay" would never be born 😞😞😞😞 . P.S. : Also, there would probably be no Achara Kirk in his life which would have been much worse 😭😭
I'm aroace too and when I was like 8 my friends were talking about crushes and they asked me about a crush, and I literally, in that moment, saw the new kid from class walking by and said "that's my crush" I came home and even told my mom. Then she asked me about it a couple days later and I was like... who(?
Jaden is hated by Republicans for this video here. Many freaked out over it. While LGBt is a-political and an LGBT-Agenda is not-real and made-up, an anti-lgbt-agenda is sadly real though. Aka Hate.
I mean, i dont wanna make some yt-content political, lol, but it is what it is: We do have in america
an anti-lgbt-group... and its called... republicans...
Same!
Me too
Same as well
I am not but I support you and everyone here in this comment
my mom is actually asexual. the idea of being with a guy has always grossed her out UNTIL she met my dad. but they have a very interesting story. an actual romance novel story lmao but she grew up in the 70s and had no idea what it was called. even with my dad i don't wanna say she doesn't *enjoy* the sexual stuff. but she enjoys the intimacy and the fact that she knows that's HIS love language. but she would prefer cuddling & hand holding? ya feel? but if she says no, he's like "okay"
so it's interesting. because you have a minority (asexual) of a minority (lgbtq+) so yeah. it's not really commonly talked about.
@@jtuniverse7711 what?
I would not call that asexual. It is just more of she did not find the right person until then.
@@jamesraihl4697 There's a whole asexuality spectrum. Check that out. You'll understand what they are saying.
@@jamesraihl4697 she doesnt experience sexual attraction, but she has sex. you can have sex without feeling the attraction. asexual.
@@musicnerd2418 yes she might be a grey ace
Asexuality wasn't fully described by Jaiden, but the thing with asexuality, is that it's not celibacy or abstinence. Asexuality is the lack of internal emotional feeling of being drawn to people to have sex with them. Some asexuals abstain and feel repulsed by sex, but other can be favorable. I as a sex-favorable ace would be down for sex as an activity sort of thing. It has the same emotional value as skydiving, or doing some other intense activity. Due to being aro, I'm not likely to encounter sex as an option of activity as I'm not drawn to people romantically either, but oh well. Being aro or ace isn't the same as abstaining from the activities of romance and sex. That is unfortunately a common misconception and leads to people believing it's a lifestyle and not real emotional thing.
Yeah! I'm aroace and I feel the same way about it. Partnered sex is not off the table, but it's just so very unlikely I'll ever actually encounter the circumstances where that was likely going to happen. And that doesn't bother me. Just like skydiving, I could live my whole life without ever experiencing partnered sex and I would be content with that.
@@Kotifilosofi I seriously had to have the argument with a sex-repulsed ace that you can have sex with your partner willingly and still be ace. It was so foreign to them that you could equal sex to, say, watching a movie together. Even if you might not particularly want to watch that particular movie, you could still do it to make your partner happy, without it being, as they put it "coercion".
I was honestly a bit shocked.
@@Sigart yeah. Or you could actually even prefer the activity itself for the physical pleasure, and still be ace. You could try it to explore yourself, or whatever other reason. People can have consensual sex without being attracted to each others. To suggest otherwise is rather aphobic.
I'm part of the romance/smex indifference side of aroace, which means I'm really "meh" about the two attractions. Like there are days when I seem to think I'm favorable towards the idea of romance and smex, but in comes in the averse side of it coming in like "stop thinking that" lol.
It honestly makes writing romance and erotica stories interesting with the whole push and pull feeling that ends up in a take a break for the characters until the next time.
Exactly, to a lot of people (ace or not) sex is like cuddling with more action
finally you found Jaiden. She is great. watch more of hers. all of her videos are great.
they need the pokemon context
First they found Odd1sout and now jaiden... I m so excited
@@tashadurrahman soon they'll discover Domics and then complete the perfect animation trifecta content.
Her name Jaiden even sounds like a neutral sexual name.. her vids are solid
Love her platinum and emerald nuzlocke viideos
Me: I dont have a crush. Something must be wrong with me
Chad Jaiden: Why are Non of you attractive
😂😂😂
Stolen comment
My dad invented this technique to secretly let others know how attractive others are.
To see you guys come into the video asking "what is that?" to using the terms Aromantic and Asexual, and understanding their individual meaning is so awesome. Spreading awareness not only benefits the person who spreads it but others like them and even those who aren't. It just makes the world a better place when we better understand each other. Empathy and kindness come from understanding and the willingness to.
I actually understand what it feels like to have being in a relationship pushed on you. While I'm straight and haven't gone through the exact same things as Jaiden, I still felt pressured to be dating someone. I'm definitely into guys, but when I was younger I didn't care about that stuff. I just wanted to be a kid and enjoy myself but I was always asked by friends and family if I had a crush or if I was dating someone, but whenever I said no, I was asked if I was gay because I wasn't dating a guy in middle school or high school. Even now, I'm still asked this. I'm almost 22 and have never dated a guy or had sex with anyone and I'm fine with that because I don't want to rush anything. I already have friends who are married with kids and a couple of them are younger than me.
My main problem is people putting this pressure on children. Whether the kid is straight, gay, bi, pan, etc., I feel like they shouldn't be rushed into a relationship so young. I think they should be able to just enjoy life without feeling like their life has caught up to them at a young age.
Wow where are you from?
My parents were like no girls till you get a job😂
@@bullymaguire5838 I from Ohio. Nothing major, but my parents never pressured me to date or do anything like that. I also wasn't allowed to get a job until I graduated. I didn't get my first job until I was 19.
I feel this so much! 😂 my parents never pressured me to date (I think my dad would’ve been happy if I never dated anyone XD) but my family outside my parents were always like: do you have a boyfriend???
No one ever assumed I was gay (probably just cause I did briefly date two guys in high school) but now that I’m in my mid 20s and don’t have anyone, it’s all they ask 😂 I’m just wondering what ever happened to “how are you”.
This feeling.. I know it. I learned to ride bike before bicycle. when you hit the accelerator over 40 , your heart says "Calm down I can't handle it. I want speed but I'm not familiar with the fastness and motion."
The thing is we want a person who can talk with us and spend enough time. so we can be open with them. we don't want to share ourselves with unfamiliar one. we are afraid that they may not care or leave us with our heart open , and this is understandable feeling. people shift their attention too fast these days. we introverts are like heavy protein ,we take time to digest , people want the chocolate and ice-cream.
I was a fat boy till 18. I'm straight and was always interested in girls ,but never talked to any, coz I knew there's no chance they'll be interested in me. So I trained a mind muscle to push people away from my heart, a survival mechanism to not to get hurt. truth is bitter.
did boxing for 3 year , got fit. and I know that girls find me interesting now. I'm 23 now. But I am kinda afraid to rush.
I have two ways:-
1. I should learn the bicycle again. to fall again and again. and get familiar with the usual speed (meaning usual dating, applying tricks etc. learning everything like others from start ) will I be able to handle that now ? that's the question .
2. I should collect the money and buy a car . (means I find a mature person who know about life and not just jumping around with Harmons.) Will I find that person ? that's the question.
Both needs further exploration .
But either way. I acknowledge the fact that I'll be fine with myself and possibly with others. I learned many other things during this time.
learned to I understand humans.
It's ok, this makes total sense to me.
Jaiden makes 200% sense to me. Honestly, it’s one of the only things about romance that I understand. Never feeling attraction, feeling left behind by your friends and the world bc the world is weirdly obsessed with love and lust when you can’t relate, getting annoyed whenever people ask if you got a partner yet like its something I can pick out at a pet mart. 🤷♀️🤦♀️
Literally Jaiden’s video and her describing her experiences made me realize I’m asexual lol. I’m super happy she made the video bc I seriously thought I was just insane.
Same lol
You are not insane,you are valid
Her video was what made me realize I'm aroace too and it was such an eyeopener. Especially that part where she was sitting in the car and was like 'wait people are actually feeling these things!? They are not joking!?' For 24 years I've been walking around thinking everyone was just faking romance and attraction like we were all part of a giant play y'know? Then this video popped up in my recommendations and it all just clicked. I've been identifying as bi and/or pan for most of my life because just as Jaiden said "0+0=0 so i guess i'm bi/pan?" But after watching this video I finally felt like i had found what I am.
Thank you for reacting to this video! I think it's so important to raise awareness that this is a thing that exist and seeing you reacting to it was really refreshing. Even though I also would like to point out that yes, your right that most people do calculate pros and cons but the thing about being aromantic is that we literally physically arent capable of having romantic feelings. Which apparently is something people who arent aromantic don't have much problem with. Just wanted to clarify that difference.
nah you are just ret...ed
I watched this a while before I realised I was aroace (i thought when i first watched it, you haven’t experienced love yet but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen,) but in my experience at school I didn’t understand that romance was real because I thought it was a game kids liked to play on each other. One time, my friend tried to set me up with a guy and i skipped school the next day because i was humiliated that people were talking about us. I didn’t understand that she was trying to make me feel happy, i thought she was taking a joke too far. I really did handle the situation poorly, but it was fifth grade 😂 I told myself countless times that I’d accept romantic relationships were real once i entered middle school, then high school, and although in high school i finally “accepted” it was real, being everywhere, i still didn’t feel or understand it so I just dismissed it. Personally, romance was never pushed on me. Any time anybody asked if i had a crush, i just said no, and no one asked further questions. Now, i can’t even remember what it was that made me realise, but even though I’ve never pressured myself into love it feels good knowing I’m aroace because it means there are other people with similar experiences.
I love that thinking your bi and/or pan or in my case, even poly seems to be a trait we all share as aro and/or ace spec people, cause one of my closest friends is arospec and he also spent a Long while thinking he was poly bi like me. The way I rationalised it was more I feel nothing for all genders equally...so I guess I'm likely to be attracted to every gender? The poly came into play cause I Knew I was asexual, sex-repulsed and all that so I was like, I guess if I wanna be in a relationship I can be in one with multiple people so that whoever my partner/s end up being, they can fulfil their emotional and sexual needs without me having to be involved. I now realise that I was clinging to romance because it's so hyped up by all the media and I never really experienced any romantic feelings and would be super uncomfortable with being in any sort of romantic or sexual relationship. Jaiden's video came in time to give me that extra push into accepting the aromantic aspect of my identity, seeing her talk so positively and somewhat openly about it really helped me figure things out and come to terms with being aroace.
i... i think im realising something too
I really love this video because I’m on both aro and ace spectrum and also non binary. It took me a long time to figure those things out, but even after I just felt really shitty. Like i was a non-human. The title is “not straight” and that’s also just how I felt for a long time. But it’s also really hard to feel like I have the right to even claim the word queer and I feel like an imposter basically everywhere. Like I want to show pride and solidarity with LGBTQ community but I just don’t face same oppressions and I’m there for like…lack of sexual attraction.
Idk this video is almost 100% of my experience right down to faking crushes into my 20s. It’s super validating and reassuring just RELIEVING to see someone share such a similar experience and share how much confidence it gave them and to tell me I am still human
"Being single on Valentine's day, it kinda sucks!"
Me every Valentine's day alone: 🥳🥳🥳
As a kid who is queer and has lots of queer friends, I can vouch for the fact that plenty of us do *not* know we are gay by the time we are five or six. I'm halfway through high school and I'm still very unsure of anything that has anything to do with sexuality
It's confusing and scary at times, and I definitely feel pressure to already have everything figured out by now, which I know is unrealistic and not how sexuality works for plenty of ppl, but the pressure is still there
Also, I had the exact same experience of "crushes" in elementary school. Constant "who's your crush?" conversations, and kinda just randomly choosing a guy I barely knew and felt no connection to and saying "that one" to feel included
Thank you!!! exactly my experience. lol compulsive heterosexuality am I right, took me 14 years to figure it out. Definitely remember trying to "choose a male crush". Not aroace, but a lesbian though a lot of share experiences
People talking about this video who are not on the ace/aro spectrum really justifies my asexuality. I love and respect that even though people can't directly relate to being asexual they can come to a logical and empathetic understanding. There's a lot of people who have the mentality "I don't understand this, you're wrong"
I appreciate the variety you bring with your channel.
Same here.
You're right Jaby, some of us realize we're gay at a really young age as well. I also knew when I was 5-6.
And I may not be ace/aromantic, but for me relationships are as much a "business exchange" (pros-cons) as they are an emotional thing.
Humanity has reached peak when a 5-6 yr child realize he is feeling gay.
@@max55436 Jaby literally said he knew he was straight when he was 5-6 as well, but I don't see you complaining about that.
@@max55436 you’re just homophobic lmao
@@max55436 dude, most boys have crushes on girls since they were very young. But I was a boy who had on crushes on boys since I was very young, not girls.
Why is one okay but the other is not, even though they're both pretty much the same?
I knew I was Ace in middle school which isn't that young but it's still pretty young. Everyone was talking about crushes and I just didn't see the point 😅
As someone who is AlloAce, where you like the romantic shite but don't have any interest in the fun times I relate to Jaiden on so many levels. And the fact that people are calling her problematic for this is insane. She's just helped so many people figure this shite out because it's not talked about enough. I was one of those people who thought I was broken for not being into the fun times.
But nope. You're just fine the way you are. And people need to stop being all shitty about things. I completely feel the same way about crushes even with like cartoon crushes it's not a I WANT THAT NOW it's "they'd be a good friend" it's so WEIRD and hard to describe so I like that the ace community calls them squishies. ^_^
wow what a serious problem
@@gearjams6263 Yeah 😂
@@gearjams6263 it really is you haven't been through any of this
We, the ppl living in rural areas are literally FORCED into marriages and sex saying it's normal and tge lack of education doesn't help at all
Alloromantic, or...?
@@gearjams6263 It definitely is. I'm glad u understand that 🙂
I can really appreciate this video, you really hit on some of the critical parts about the social implications of being aromantic/asexual. For me, I have no problem being on the aro/ace spectrum. My biggest issue was always not being able to truly relate to others and dealing with people making weird assumptions about me and asking weird questions because they've never seen me in a romantic relationship.
As a fellow aroace, I immediately respect Jaiden's judgement of crushes.
Well yeah. There’s logic to what she’s doing, and yes everyone does this to a degree. Some people do just get married for the business exchange thing, but she just doesn’t experience any of the other stuff
Exactly. The difference is that for her it's literally like a business deal to think about starting a relationship; no emotions, no motivation based on the said emotions, just the facts side of it. When I still thought I'll have to start dating like everyone else, I did the same thing. And no-one seemed like a good enough deal over the cons they had 😆
@@Kotifilosofi For me, I went with it under the thought "eventually I'll find someone I like", without actively searching out a relationship. Thanks to Jaiden's video it got me really thinking I probably was aroace. And now I'm proud to say I am.
Fun fact: Beofre I knew I was lesbian, I had a massive celebrity crush on Selma Gomez, Like I would always talk about how pretty and how beautiful her voice sounded at the age of 5-10?, And I look back on it now and it makes so much sense now 💀
I have always had a girl crush on Selena Gomez and still do. But I don't see her in a romantic light. 🤷🏻♀️ I am definitely straight.
I love how they both did puppy head tilts when she said she was aroace
Are these subjects not taught in schools yes? I’m a 35 year old boomer and even I have learned these things since elementary school, and always thought that these are common sense which most people would know and understand. But I guess that is not the case to everyone. Well I’m glad Jaiden finally figured that out!
I didn't figure out I'm ace until last year at 35 thanks to the way I was raised.
education varies a LOT
Unfortunately, nope. Although that night explain at least a small fraction of why kids these days are borderline mentally "deficient."
Sir you are a one lucky bastard
What school taught asexuality?
I'm 25. I know noone, not in my age, not younger than me, nor older and in my parents age that got taught about this in school. If you did then good fo you! You were really lucky. But no, most schools dont teach it. In sweden when i was in high school we at most learned about hetero- homo and bi. And that was it.
I legit had the same feeling as her. I remember one time when my friend asked me if I had a crush and for some reason I felt like I had to say someone so I picked a random boy in my class. I’ve never been very interested in love because I feel like that’s so much work. Trying have a good time and trying to stay with your partner. And I still have this feeling.
23:23 Issac Newton is generally seen as an aroace person even if he didn’t know what it was in his time period.
23:47 I’ve thought that too! I wonder how many monks and nuns went a monastery just so they could do science and read and make beer or whatever without having to worry about looking weird for not being in a relationship.
This is the reaction i wasn't waiting for but i very happy it happened coz i love both jaby n jaiden 😁
I felt that pressure to have a crush as a kid too. Like we all liked this one band and they all chose the guy they have a crush on and I just didn't have one. So i panicked and randomly picked the guy that was left. Nowadays though, i develop crushes (especially celebrity crushes) very quickly and i kinda blame my childhood for that. Cause if I really sit back and think about those celebrities I'm like "I mean.. They're attractive but would I want them? No. Cause I don't even know them"
2:40 That's exactly it! :0 You got that so quick- not very many allo people (non-aro/ace) understand it so quickly
That's not it. "AroAce is where you aren't into the romantic stuff at all. Or feel much of anything regarding fun times. ALLOACE is where you like the romance but don't like the fun times.
@@TheRibottoStudios Allo describes people who are neither aromantic or asexual. And then you can add it to one of them to show you are just asexual or just aromantic (since people tend to lump them together).
Thanks for reacting to this! I wish I had Jaiden's video when I was younger and going a similar experience.
I’ve experienced romantic and sexual attraction but never had any desire to be in a relationship. People think I’m hiding something or lying to myself and that pressure even made me doubt myself. But thank god I never have to be young again. Now at 39 I can just say, “I’m attracted to guys and I can have romantic feelings really easily, but I have absolutely zero desire to be in a relationship.” Not sure what that makes me. Probably polysomething, but I’m not bothered. I can go to bed with someone without romantic feelings. I can have romantic feelings and not be sexually attracted to someone. But either way…. At some point you gotta go home, bro.
"Glen, honey, I have a question: what do you do for a living?"
"Heh, I have a question for you too: why are you still here?"
-- Family Guy
@@ZhangtheGreat Oh god, I did come across that way a bit, didn’t I? 😂 I should clarify that I’m not throwing people out or being rude about it. I can chill with a guy for a night or a couple days. I just meant that I never had that feeling of, “Wow, it’d be really cool if you were just ALWAYS here.” That’s the part I can’t wrap my head around anyone desiring. I come home and he like… lives here too?! And he always will? That is just not something I ever wanted even as a kid.
@@83gemm You're good. I was just throwing in some humor to your comment 😁
Well yeah, it's not like no aces were into sex... but we're not into people. We don't _need_ that component of sexual activity to be satisfied like allo (non-ace) people do, whether or not we do any sexual acts and regardless of how often. Other humans can still be included for various of reasons, but they're not necessary to us to feel content and sexually fulfilled.
I absolutely love the ace community because it's the only place where you can talk about sex and sexuality totally platonically, "as a matter of fact" way. And being an adult ace person, that's so refreshing.
I'm AroAce! Cool to see people learn more about it
the confusion on both of your face when she said AroAce lol
I hope to see a little bit more of your reaction with Jaidenanimation ! she's really dope!
I myself am aroace, and went through an extremely similar experience to Jaiden, except it got weird because the guy I convinced myself I had a crush on actually had a crush on me for uh… *years*. Like, this guy apparently had a crush on me since he met me, which is insane to me. We ended up dating for a bit before we both found the community, and agreed to break up so we could explore it more, and I found Aroace, and realized, yep, yep that’s me. The guy I was dating ended up just being straight, but Is in another relationship, and fully supports me as an aroace, and is actually really defensive of me, like he gets angry when someone is rude about it and everything. Now im best friends with his girlfriend, and going to be a bridesmaid at their wedding.
It’s so cool there’s Aroace Representation on RUclips. Great news 👏🏽
Lol..
@@algorithmicalychallenged.291 Excuse me? Is there a problem?
@@PokhrajRoy. excuse me? How dare you. I never..
And you never will.
@@algorithmicalychallenged.291 lol
Jaiden's video helped me figure out i was Aro, already figured out on my own that i was ace but she just explained it in such a relatable and easy to understand manner it really helped.
I understand pretty much everything she talks about in this video, because I'm AroAce too- and I feel a lot of the same things she talks about. When I was really little like first grade or second grade I remember having a specific mindset with marriage and relationships and love and stuff, and it was that if someone else wanted that then it was whatever. I guess I could live with that. I actually kissed a boy on the cheek just because he seemed to like me and I thought that was the right thing to do even though I didn't really have attraction, I wwas pretty much just pretending When I got older and started to realize I'm Aromantic, because I went as just Asexual for a few years and realized I'm both, it was a weird process- the first thought I had was '..I'm never going to experience love or anything like that after waiting so long trying to feel it?' Because I always thought love was this big grand thing that just kind of happens or hits you when it hits you, I've never felt any kind of powerful emotion like love in my life and that all of it was greatly exaggerated. I wanted a taste of that for a long time because I thought something was just wrong with me, and it hurt a bit, I'll be honest. Waiting and realizing you're waiting for nothing can be weird and upsetting but by now I've kind of gotten over it? It's a little annoying having to explain to people what it is. The conversation usually goes 'you know how people do this? Well I don't, but I DO do this-' and them still not getting it, which I understand. Anyway rant over, I'm 15 btw so yeah take that into account however you'd like
I really relate to jaidan, I didn't know about asexuality and all until my junior year of high school. And when I did, everything sort of clicked for me. I'm demis. and demiromatic In my mid twenties and I've only felt true attraction to one person.
It's actually really cool seeing 2 people go into this video not really knowing what Aro/Ace means, and taking it on board. So many people reject what they don't understand as being wrong, or not factual without listening first. So this is a great reaction to the video!
Not wanting to be overly political, but yeah, just face it: Conservatives, Republicans and Christianity are the 3-TOP-Sources
where LGBT-Hate emanates from. I dont know who didnt knew that, but yeah,
vote for a Party please that isnt OPENLY anti-jaden-animation, uhm, i mean... anti-lgbt?
@@nenmaster5218 Yep. However that then has a media grip which gets regular people buying into propaganda sadly
@@spiritedkodama3508 Yes, unfortunately.
People really; for example; praise DeSantis, the One who makes Florida 'Gay-Proof' right now,
even when they themselves arent homohpobics.
I’m aroace but specifically lithromantic and ace spec (lithromantic is when someone’s feeling will fade when they are reciprocated) and at 9:45 I didn’t realise how relatble that is especially in primary school cause I remember my friends getting into relationships and I was like I want that so I got my friends and myself to ask out a whole bunch of boys even though I don’t have feelings for them.
I love how the person in the comment above you is the complete opposite of you lol
As someone who's never had anybody you get used to the loneliness on Valentine's Day after 30 years.
But what's the difference between best friend and boyfriend/girlfriend? Isn't that like literally what it is? Personally to me things like the term "try to get them into your bed" just sounds...unnerving and kind of sickening to me.
A best friend relationship is usually like... you remain two individuals that are just really close. If you want to buy a pool, you can, they only get a say if you give them one. Your lives are basically in parallel. There aren't any real expectations of you living together, moving in together, etc. either.
A partner can and preferably SHOULD be one of your best friends as well as your partner. If the romantic or sexual aspects weren't there, they should still be someone you care about and want to spend time with and enjoy the company of. But more is expected of you as a partner. As the partner, you are the expected go to if they get sick. As the partner, you are the expected go to if they are acting weird with people to ask them what is up and check on them. As the partner, there is a stronger expectation for you to keep them in check if they act rude or say something insensitive to other people but also to DEFEND them if other people act toxic/rude to them.
A romantic relationship is like, you are both individuals but you are also a team that agreed to work together, to engage in particular romantic and/or sexual actions, divide responsibilities and make an enjoyable fun life together or possibly even raise a family. You're CHOOSING to shape your lives together as an entwined unit over all with individual branches off for when you do stuff with friends, family or on your own. It is MUCH harder to walk away from than a friendship because often you share finances, share living spaces, and may have things you share together such as children or furniture or pets that can't always be neatly divided.
There can be blurred lines as different people have DIFFERENT BOUNDARIES. Some best friends will cuddle or share a bed or stuff because they are platonic and trust each other or they might share a house, kids or even pets. But this is rare. Usually the line is drawn at sharing an apartment or cuddling but may go into sharing a bed with friends you really trust. It usually doesn't go further than that in terms of intimacy or sharing stuff for best friends.
A partner isn't ALWAYS a FRIEND or the person closest to you though. If you meet them at a bar or cafe or something, you may ask them out or have sexual relations with them based on attraction. Then your relationship builds based on what you know about them or may disintegrate when you learn they are say, a Neo-Nazi or they hate cats. There isn't always the FOUNDATION of a friendship underneath a romantic relationship or the closeness of one. A 2 week boyfriend, most people would toss if made to choose between them and a 10 year best friend. Usually you hope to build to a point where they are your closest person if you meet in such a way.
@@ss.surprise That...that just sounds completely alien to me. Why would you get together with someone simply because of how they look? That...I know people are different, but that just sounds...bad.
This is the thing I think I might be aro or ace but I actually really enjoy romance and love stories…. Stories in general but like I’ve never felt like wow I want to go out with that person I just sorta thought yeah that naturally the next step, is to develop crushes but like it’s not like I actually liked any one , even my first boyfriend i did it cuz my friends had one but like it felt tedious and like chatting any other friend yeah I dunno what tf is up with me
i relate to that. like yea i kinda wanna be in a relationship but do i actually feel those things? no. but being aromantic is a big spectrum and this is definitely part of it!
You can 100% be aro/ace and still enjoy romance as a conecpt, youre just not romantically attracted to people yourself. Theres a microlabel for it too, Aegoromantic.
This almost reminds me of Aphantasia where people can't visualize in their mind and don't realize it
oh i realize except for me its for memories. im a writer so i visualize everything i create but when it comes to memories they are hazy at best. like i can see someone and go "they look familiar" but i cant tell where from. or if i think of someone i know, i cant clearly visualize them. rather its my family members or an ex
Yup, very much comparable in the department of "Wait, the rest of you aren't exagerating and being metaphorical?!"
I used to watch Jodi during her 'among us' gameplay with all her friends.. She is really cool🌻
jeSUS
This is so real for me that its frightening ...
I have already watched Jaiden's video, still watching your reaction. Its a great video.
I remember when I was a kid, sometimes my mom would out of the blue tell me it was weird that I didn't have any celebrity crushes. I thought gushing about celebrity crushes was annoying, and couldn't understand how you would get a crush on someone you didn't even know. For me, I'm pretty sure I just misunderstood what a crush was. I remember those "tunnel vision" moments I would also have, but I call them "friend crushes." Basically wanting to be around someone who you just want to be around because they make you feel positively. Then when I got a partner I was confused as heck as to why intimacy made me uncomfortable. I realized something might be different about me, and Jaiden's video made me realize I wasn't straight either.
Quite liked the video.. and I understand what she's saying even though I'm straight. But I got gay and queer friends..
Wow, you actually pause the video, analyze it and make smart comments. Good job! Most reaction channels just watch the video and make funny faces.
This is just wonderful to see, and detailed enough about the awkwardness of youth that it drives home the point well...even if it's a bit mis-titled for extra click-ability. We all live in our own heads, a collection of our own experiences and thoughts, and that biases us against other perspectives. Getting people out of their own perspective and giving them a window into the actual experiences and inner thoughts of another...through the medium of animation...is beautiful!
I was a just a bit slow catching on that I was gay...at least by some standards. (There were warning shots now that I look back...but they weren't so obvious that someone with no context would recognize them.) Puberty was just around the corner, I was 11, and my first crush was a guy on the track team at my JH. It was 1980...so obviously that wasn't acceptable. Upsetting, but since I wasn't all the way into puberty the intensity dial was pretty low. When HS started, the dial got turned to max, and in my case that's pretty high...so there was no ignoring it internally...but since, again, it was 84 to 87, there was also no showing it externally. Side effect of all that simmering hormonal fury...I fought pretty much anyone over anything for years, racking up suspensions and detentions until I barely graduated on time. Certainly tried to foster attraction to women, unsuccessfully, lived in a culture that had no or almost no openly out gay icons or supportive atmosphere, and was right in the middle of a fast-growing epidemic (AIDS) that stoked massive waves of homophobia. Despite all the negatives, despite the lack of support or education, even in a vacuum devoid of positive LGBTQ+ imagery/media...I was and remained gay. It was, no matter how much certain people try to reimagine the situation for their political/religious comfort, an intrinsic part of who I am, beyond mere sexuality. It is woven into the fabric of my nature and cannot be unraveled. After college I finally dropped the act, left the closet behind, and experienced the almost indescribable joy of being myself and no longer lying or continually self-editing around loved ones. The freedom honesty brings IS the reason the word 'gay' became the universal term for liberation in the 60s/70s. Lighthearted, effervescent joy.
In due deference to honesty, after a long enough time and enough people met, I did discover that I have a very faint attraction to a few women...one out of tens of thousands at best. IF they closely resemble Joan Jett...or are, actually, Joan Jett...then there does seem to be some opposite sex attraction possible. The question becomes 'is that sufficient basis to fake a relationship and just play make believe for decades in order to produce offspring and avoid societal disapproval?' The answer, fairly obviously, is no. I stay in my comfort zone...much a like a straight guy who is genuinely straight, but can't help side eyeing Jason Momoa. Not just any dude...just Jason Momoa or people who could be his stunt double. It doesn't change their basic nature...and it wouldn't justify abandoning their entire array of traditional attractions that are experienced daily. If the rest of the world just got comfortable with some elementary truths about human nature...I suspect we'd all be a lot happier and healthier.
Ya, society is highly into pressuring people. I'm not aromantic at all, but when I was a teen, I had a somewhat small friend group. There were just so many people to choose from and I wasn't particularly interested in any of them.
Still, it was the thing to have a crush, even amongst the guys. It's all they would talk about. So, I said I had a crush on this one girl. I could go on talking about it for a while, just as they talked about theirs. Later, one of my friends and her started getting close and he got this immature (teens, right?) jealousy thing going on. He knew I claimed to have a crush on her, so he would brag about making out with her and stuff to me to get back at me for having a crush on her. I even would sit there and take it while I kind of felt sad for him not knowing I didn't care in the least as I never really thought of her as anything more than a friend. Actually, I think he caught on after a while as I never showed an ounce of anger or anything about his brags.
The thing was, if you didn't have a crush, many of the kids would avoid you because they wanted to talk a about their crushes.
The same thing happens with couples. Couples start excluding single people from their social lives, because they are wanting to share their couple experiences with other people. Also, people with kids will exclude other people without kids. That's both because they want shared experiences and also because people without kids are kind of douche bags about the kids. Come on, it's true.
So, while I don't understand aromaticness fundamentally, I can see how something like that could be crushing in a world like ours. If you don't fake relationships and crushes, you will be excluded from many social activities and relationships.
Nevermind if they have the type of parents who never shut up about getting married and having kids. Good lord that would suck for that kind of person.
Valentine's Day used to bother me because I'm never with anyone but only when I was young ish but I've been fine with it n being alone n am super fine with being solo. I feel better when I'm solo
I didn't know about these things before but I think I'm a aromatic person. Like I am 20, I am not really attracted to anyone. Before seeing this video I didn't know about my feelings. My all friends are in relationships but I never feel like going in a relationship with any person or I don't have any romantic interest for anyone. I don't know if I am right but I can feel this video
I actually relate to Jaiden's video a lot myself. I recently discovered that I'm pan/recipro, which basically means I'm romantically attracted to all genders (the panromantic part), but only if said other person is attracted to me first (the reciprosexual part.) Even then, it's rare for me to feel any sort of romantic attraction towards anyone, even if they themselves are attracted to me, it just really depends on the person and what my initial opinion is about them based on how they've acted towards others. I thought for the longest time that I was bi or pan too, because I honestly didn't really care what gender someone was at the end of the day. I'm not repulsed by the idea of sex, I just don't think it's something I want for myself.
@@ReducedAsh No prob 👍
Yes not being straight is good because people become themselves
about ur gay friend, i think the term you’re referring to is demisexual. it falls under the asexual umbrella, and its when someone only feels sexual attraction after a strong emotional bond is formed. so you could only be interested in someone after you’re close friends with them, etc.
Oh wow would you look at that... I guess I'm aro.... learning everyday more and more about yourself huh.
And I've always since a relatively young age looked into things like... "should I go along with this? Is that gonna be something I actually want and not regret later on?" Even with games and when my parents wanted to buy something for me as a gift like a toy (cuz I don't ever really ask for anything).
Thanks Jaby for talking about with 5-10 years old that we already have some fantasies... it's very weird, probably why most people don't talk about it. because a "child" is innocent, the only logic for society. our brain can focus on so many things, especially with the evolution of the world, so many subjects to focus on... my family and close friends already know that i can spend my all day for years playing video games and don't have any contact with people. and i'm happy. even do it's very weird to them, they learned that with time. being happy it's all that matters :)
The way how you said you already know what your fetishes are as a kid, I kinda relate. I mean as a kid, I didn't know what a fetish was, but when I learned what a fetish is and what my fetishes were when I was around 16, I realized that yeah, I've always had those.
I kinda relate to Jaiden too. I'm not asexual or aromantic, but I'm demiromantic. It's somewhere close to aromantic and it's when people can be attracted to someone else only after they learned to know this person.
And I also relate to the crush thing. I saw how people had crushes on other people, and some people had crushes on fictional people. So I pretended to have a crush on Yuri from Doki Doki Literature Club because I relate to her a lot.
The only person who knew was my sister and she made fun of me for it, thinking it was genuine when it was actually not. I also realized I'm demiromantic thanks to my only romantic relationship.
I spoke to that girl online for months before developing feelings and eventually asking her out. Eventually we broke up, but it was thing we both wanted because our romantic feelings for each other kinda went away over time, but we're still friends.
I'm also aroace spec. Crushes confused the hell out of me when I was a kid, I thought crushes was just like idolizing people you respect so much or like. I had a crush on someone, but being in relationships with that person never came to my mind. I quickly realize that I reciprocate what people do to me when I got my first boyfriend, he basically confessed first and it made me realize that dang I need them to tell me what they want first for me to fully understand.
The point that made me realize I'm asexual spec is that when I'm in highschool, me and my classmates love to watch movies. Everytime a kissing scene or the passionate hugging scene came up I cringed and looked away. One friend of mine said that I'm weird for that. Turns out I'm ace.
i relate to her experience, as I can't say as a 20 yr old that I have ever had a crush on someone and even if I have, it could turn on or off quite easily, and it never expands to sexual (beyond kissing) desires towards them. I never see strangers and think ooh hot, unless I already have some type of relationship with them. I also confuse normal friendship and closeness with being a potential crush as I do not nkow what a crush is supposed to feel like. I def am attracted to female bodies and feminie/enby energy over masc energy, I don't use a label tho so who knows
I'm not aro or ace but I remember growing up having that pressure too, my mom asking me if I like a boy I was friends with or whatever. I didn't get a crush until I was 12 and imagine my surprise when it was a girl. I already had that expectation of heterosexuality on me by that age and thought something was wrong with me. My parents aren't even homophobic, they don't care at all that I'm a lesbian but even the little things growing up led to me thinking I felt the wrong way and I was supposed to like guys and not girls.
Companionship is mutually beneficial. In this type of relationship you have a person who is there to eat food with, watch TV or movies, maybe even sleep in the same bed, and financially partner up just no naughty adult fun time.
They were so quiet I forgot it was a reaction and was just watching the vid
you know what makes us human? Cooking. No other animal cooks their food.
The Monsieur Jaby Urge to whoosh past Asexuality ‘coz that’s not his jam. Atleast you’re honest.
I enjoyed this, I didn’t know this existed. Good for her!
11:20 I mean .... no really. First of all, I don't have many friends (1-2). Second, I enjoy spending time alone, so yeah . . . having blast every year on Feb 14th, playing games when everyone else is bussy not bothering me :)
I think it's exciting to explore the variations of the human experience. It can be heartbreaking to realize how archaic indoctrinations have impeded the journeys, support and acceptance of healthy and happy people.
Unfortunately, a lot of people want things overly simple. Everything fitting into a neat little box to easily identify. Especially when it comes to aspects of sexual nature.
Functioning disorder vs healthy.
Please don't confuse the two
There have been sexless people forever. And I don't really think any culture has ever made a big deal about it like they have against gay or trans people. So.....you don't want to have sex or be in a relationship. It's pretty meh.
@@blackalien6873 ...You realize that there's also a lot of shit done to aroace people in an effort to "fix" them, right? And if youre only one but not the other, navigating relationships can be hell, and people can get REALLY nasty about it. I wouldnt say its as bad as how trans and gay people are treated, but saying that no one makes a big deal about it is plain wrong.
Im both, and the amount of people who started accusing me of being mentally disturbed and needing "fixing", including via r4pe is absolutely abysmal.
@@blackalien6873 There actually has been. Asexualism was actually considered a mental illness for the longest time. Amd the thing about there being asexual people forever, it's the same with gay and trans people. Most ancient cultures were actually okay with gay people, particularly the Greeks and Romans. It was only once Christianity became such a big thing that people really became against homosexuality.
I’m like 99% sure that I’m aroace, but I still find enjoyment and engagement in certain romance fictions and… nsfw. I don’t think of any of it with myself as being part of it but rather as just a thing happening to these characters that I liked.
As someone who knows he aroace I will say being interested in romance fiction and NSFW stuff is pretty normal, it's a spectrum. Some people are absolutely disgusted by it others aren't
Need more Jaiden Reaction
I liked vore as a kid. I'm a furry, bet you couldn't guess. I'm aromantic in a few ways, and in those same ways, it's technical. I have cognitive alexithymia, and I rarely experience romantic attraction, and to a not so bad extent. I'll feel bad about not having any partners, but'll think about partners as effectively friends with benefits, only not inherently sexual benefits, even if that's what I'd generally look for. I like the over-romanticized idea of being partners, more for the fact that someone is there for me, and I get to have someone to be more close with than anyone else, and less that it's them specifically that I'm close to. The only person at the center of my world is me, and only because I'm the only person who fits all of my qualifications, and not even by default. Also, because of the cognitive alexithymia, it can take me abit to realize I *was* into someone. One time I was into someone, and only realized I liked them to a romantic-esc extent, after realizing I liked them to a different extent. Also, despite being polysexual, I'm both homo(flexible)romantic and genderfluid, and after recently realizing that it's possible for my gender to be influenced by outside sources, the idea of having a partner became infinitely more terrifying and exciting. Also I have a fear of getting scared and am paranoid so those are very very very very very different things I just said. I still think of having (a) partner(s) as being beneficial, but also, I still see it in business terms, regardless of my plastic idea of it. I also feel like explaining that I in no way claim to be a surgeon, and while looking back at it Sherlock has always been objectively bad, I started watching that after it was obvious because I like people who aren't idiots and Sherlock fit that specification. Also, I hate The Good Doctor. Sherlock was better Sukhareva syndrome representation, atleast because Sherlock is supposed to be obscenely smart and observant, and not just: "detective but autism".
(Edit): Holy shit it's Glep from Smiling Friends. Watch that.
I had a few crushes in elementary until I moved schools, then didn't find anyone truly attractive. I found a guy here or there cute but not really attractive, I had a couple boyfriends mostly jumped into relationships hoping for the best. Now I have a boyfriend that I for the first time am actually truly attracted to which is amazing and I love that I finally get to feel these feelings that people have told me about my whole life
This is very similar to how i am i mean i find women very attractive and beautiful but I have never been romantically attracted to women and now i know why great video
Its weird because my family is almost all in LGBTQA+ community.
I for one am born male. Although i am very feminine and tend to go by They/Them. I like girls... but I also am very kinda... eh to love. I dont think im Aro/Ace. I think if anything im just super paranoid and scared to talk to people in general.
I think for now my focus is actually being able to talk to people workout disappearing while there talking because socializing drains me super fast. It takes literally 10 minutes for me to go like "Yeah i need a nap" and then i do that.
That video was awesome.
Yes! Finally I realize that I'm not a weirdo and there are others out there like me!
Yeah since 4° grade I pretended that I had had that crush on a boy bc everyone had a crush. And my first ACTUAL crush I developed in 6° grade and this crush was a 2d caracter named N from murder drones, other than that I don't have a actual crush
That's explain it.. most crushes in my life were aromantic
Jaby can u make a reaction video on R. G bucket list plzzzz
Her video actually played a huge part in my feeling comfortable calling myself Asexual
That’s great
That's me. I'm aroace 🥺💜💚
Not wanting to be overly political, but yeah, just face it: Conservatives, Republicans and Christianity are the 3-TOP-Sources
where LGBT-Hate emanates from. I dont know who didnt knew that, but yeah,
vote for a Party please that isnt OPENLY anti-lgbt.
As someone on the ace spectrum and maybe aro, this was nice. Both the video and the reaction.
Oh yeah. 100% understand. I’m 19 years old and I quite literally have never felt attention in a “fall in love” way with anyone. I’m about to graduate and my friends are like “yoooo no girlfriend?” I’m like nope. They’re like “you’re okay with that?” I’m like yeeep.
Well, yes. People can and have entered relationships as though they were business exchanges or without the intention of love... but on the specific topic of having a "ROMANTIC" relationship, not having any feelings of love or attraction and only judging the pros/cons of having the relationship kind of excludes that relationship of actually being a romantic one no matter what you call it.
5:02 did you guys se sasuke there 😂 like me in the guy to the right?
Ah, Jaiden watches anime too, checkout her more vids lmao
Um...Friendship is a type of relationship, so no difference between friendship and relationship, there's a difference in friendship and courtship.
I personally have very little interest in romantic relationships. I've had 1 boyfriend my whole life and it was when I was 18 and in high school... I broke up with him after 2 weeks because I thought he was too clingy, my family said he was really nice, and he was, but I thought he came around too much. Looking back, considering it was just the beginning of a relationship it made sense he'd come around every day, and I probably just didn't want to be in a relationship... with anyone, even a nice guy, who was actually handsome in his tall dorky way. I have had a handful of crushes, and I can literally remember every single one of them, a boy when I was in kindergarten named Robin, a boy in middle school whose name I cannot remember, but I used to creep in the schoolyard watching him play basketball (I'll add it was a crush and not a love for basketball since I have zero interest in basketball) an older next door neighbor who was really cute and looked like a surfer dude when I was in high school (that crush lasted for a few months until I actually had a conversation with him and realized he was an idiot) A guy in high school named David, and a co-worker when I was in my 20s.... that's it, that's pretty much every single crush I've had without counting celebrities I think are cute, which I don't count... but for the most part I just have feelings of friendship for people. Do I want someone to be with? Sure, I like companionship, but I don't want to have the responsibility of a romantic relationship... Am I interested in sex? Yep... but then again, I don't need it either. My sister says the reason people don't come up to me and ask me out, or hit on me is that I put up this wall that says "JUST FRIENDS" and yes, I can make friends very easily, I've been told I'm very endearing, and I can accept that.
10:25 made me realise. . . my chilhood crush on Yuri(from DDLC) wasn't me being me and misunderstaning myself, It was just me being gay af.
i watched this like two weeks ago. also was recommended to me lol KISMET
React to Jaiden going to Japan. Idk. I find it funny.
The thing is that aromantic is a spectrum. Some aro people are romance-repulsed and feel very uncomfortable seeing or hearing about romantic things. Some are very positive about romance. I mean there are romance writers who are aromantic. They might not like being in romantic relationship but they like to see and read and write about it. It is like fiction. Same about asexual folks. I saw NSFW artists who are asexual and this is perfectly fine. If they like or want to draw such stuff doesn’t mean they want actually participate in it. But yeah there are sex-repulsed asexuals as well. So hear me out. If you are aro or/and ace and don’t feel repulsed about romance and sex it doesn’t mean you are faking it.
Watch more of her videos plz plz
I'm pansexual and agender so this helped me gain some confidence
Jaden is inspiration for girls animators in India .that's an achivement for her ❤️
I’ve identified as asexual, then I discovered demisexual (which is not wanting s*x until you’re comfy, trust the person, and when you feel okay to do it), and THEN i discovered GraySexual. And now I feel so at home. Its not wanting or experiencing se*ual attraction, but also having it sometimes :) i have never seen this video from Jaiden, and im sooo happy i fell on it. The Ace community needs to be talked about more!!
I'm still dancing around graysexual/romantic and asexual/romantic. I thought I found myself.. but I probably really am aroace? Well.. one way or another it's still a spectrum.. the confusion was most likely made from me thinking I felt romantic and sexual attraction once.. but it was all just aesthetic... and now I'm more and more repulsed...? idk 😂😂
I'm glad you found yourself, tho!
I wasn’t Demi, until a few years ago when I realised I just couldn’t have a physical relationship unless I connect to that person on a deeper level. I was just bisexual till then. Now I’m Demi-bisexual. I love sex, but I need to feel that connection before I jump into it or else it’s just weird for me. 😌✋
You guys are Normal!! Stop categorising and making yourself weird.
@@Valkyrie1941 nothing is "weird" Abt it lol
How did you discover you were demi and not ace? Were you sex repulsed before, are you demiromantic as well? Was it a shock, did it feel like 'losing' your identity bc you seemed completely ace or were there grey / demi signs all along?
10:10
I once had a crazy thought that if I traveled back in time and made sure that Jaby married his first ever Girlfriend then we would never have to hear another Ex-Girlfriend Story again 😂😂😂😂
But it took me only a few seconds to also realise that the PARADOX here was that in that future or timeline in all probability Anthony Alba would never pursue his passions as much and find a regular job to settle down with his wife and thus "Jaby Koay" would never be born 😞😞😞😞
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P.S. : Also, there would probably be no Achara Kirk in his life which would have been much worse 😭😭
intro had me thinking you were missing an arm