I Am a Survivor of A Forced Marriage - Jasvinder's Story

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  • Опубликовано: 28 окт 2024

Комментарии • 134

  • @claudettebennett6242
    @claudettebennett6242 Год назад +67

    What a cold mother.....girl i am glad you stood up for yourself.....

    • @Freya1412
      @Freya1412 Год назад +16

      Result of decades of brainwashing from her own parents and grandparents I guess. My godmother is Indian and in their culture so much social pressure is put on females. When her mother said she can't go out in public because people spit in her face, she wasn't being dramatic. They probably did literally spit on her over something so ridiculous because no matter what happens, it's always a woman's fault in Indian society ( or at least from what my godmother has expressed to me and I've observed). It's not like her mother had any power to take her daughter's side. The entire family would turn against her as well as their society would treat her as an outcast which is scary for an immigrant. Even when she was dying her other children put up a fuss at their " rebellious" sibling being present. The mother and father meeting with her in secret all those years would have been to keep the peace and have some contact with their daughter. Now believe it or not this story isn't as bad as others. In some families the idea of dishonour is enough to cause parents to murder their children. They would rather do that than face their society dishonoured and it goes back to many Asian cultures holding filial piety to the highest standard. All round it's very complicated and it's important to see things are very complicated but it is changing.

    • @joannajourneys
      @joannajourneys Год назад

      Yes the first word that came to mind was brainwashed@@Freya1412

  • @sumanpreetkaur5545
    @sumanpreetkaur5545 2 года назад +111

    I’m so proud of you for speaking up. ❤ I will share my story of my experience growing up in the culture where collectively they are afraid of “what will people say” instead of living an authentic life… but I’m not ready to share yet but you sharing is changing the world! ❤ thank you ❤❤

    • @heinzhair
      @heinzhair Год назад +6

      I hope you feel comfortable and safe to share, one day

    • @DiannelLaird
      @DiannelLaird Год назад +4

      I too hope you feel safe enough, one day to share your story safely, confidently and comfortably. 🤗

  • @jacquif8717
    @jacquif8717 2 года назад +66

    The world needs more people like this. She is incredible!

  • @BattingMyLashes
    @BattingMyLashes Год назад +13

    I cried for Rabina… and I think Jasvinder was clearly the scapegoat of the family. When things went wrong they needed someone to blame… the one who is the black sheep so to speak, the rebel, the intellect who dares challenge the norm.

  • @unknownranger250
    @unknownranger250 Год назад +42

    I grew up in a strict punjabi household too, although no forced marriage issues ever arose. It was all down being a female, not allowed to go out or come out of the room if any guests were here, not allowed to wear makeup or leave my hair out, and bound by wearing traditional clothes, I can relate that the boys would always get better treatment, my brothers were always allowed to do what they wanted. Its traumatic but i also agree, that this stems down from culture and what our parents were instilled when they grew up, this all needs to stop. I stood up for myself after joining university, my punjabi identity is still very much there but i don’t need traditional clothes to justify who i am..

  • @mamathabanna
    @mamathabanna Год назад +21

    It’s sad when children need to explain what’s right to their parents. Parents are sometimes drowned in tradition and culture . You get to be parents for just couple of years. You can’t have it back later . Why should you put your kids through pleasing culture and tradition than making a Godly, loving home for them. The trauma they go through is unimaginable.

  • @simon0802
    @simon0802 Год назад +54

    1st gen South Asian parents are way too marriage obsessed and have unrealistic expectations. Too obsessed with money and status. For most part I think arranged marriage is an outmoded institution.

  • @pretty5793
    @pretty5793 Год назад +50

    I watched Punjabi news once while growing up and remember seeing so much about domestic abuse and a story about a man who set his wife on fire for dowry. It is awful!

    • @Chinchapakdumdum
      @Chinchapakdumdum 7 месяцев назад +1

      Pretty spot on.
      I know of one girl who was killed for dowry. This was maybe 5-6 years ago.

  • @clementine4133
    @clementine4133 Год назад +35

    Tears, my sister is gone too... long-suffering in abuse and illness. You enlighten the world. Yes, you do, Jasvinder. Thank you. Karma nirvana.

  • @Michelle-lu3oj
    @Michelle-lu3oj Год назад +22

    I am from Australia. I am aware of this dying of fire. I am aware of Indian wives who kill themselves by fire, usually in domestic relationships. Even in Australia, it happens. Thank you for advising the culture behind dying with fire for women who are widowed, however, it seems estranged wives in domestic relationships also choose this way to die, it seems to be a sacrifice way of death for them also not only widowed women. Thank you for your story. You are courageous and you have not done anything wrong. You are courageous to change the culture!. In the end, your mother and father had acceptance of your choices and they loved you, perhaps they always did accept your choices but were too weak to stand up against the cultural norms of society. You are an inspiration and your story will help many! 👼

    • @Chinchapakdumdum
      @Chinchapakdumdum 7 месяцев назад

      Hey i think you have been misinformed. I dont think any woman chooses to die by fire. Often times she is murdered and then the family labels it suicide. It happens in India too.

  • @lauriehollister9428
    @lauriehollister9428 Год назад +14

    I came across your story by chance. What a powerful story you have. I'm so grateful for your advocating for women. God bless you. 💗

  • @simonetta-ta
    @simonetta-ta Год назад +5

    Hi, European woman here. Thank you so much for sharing. I knew about this way of getting young girls married w/ s.o. they don't even know.
    But to listen to a personal experience is very different. I am shook a/ your sister's tragic self-inflicted death, within the community there was no way out. And a/ you being kicked out of your family as a "shameful" being. This is all very hard. And you took the other path, a radiant woman, my warmest respect and good feelings to you. 🌷❤

  • @clementine4133
    @clementine4133 Год назад +16

    You are so strong, good, and beautiful person. I understand you, have had to say no too. I was lucky to have brothers that supported me. My parents were in between. My mom tried to coax me in marriage at 14, my father was not aware and I was made to never reveal that to him... His sisters suffered great abuse in their marriages as well as my older sister sold by her aunt for "marriage" at 13. They still both expected me to marry a certain demographic... and lived long to regret it...

  • @LoveLiyah849
    @LoveLiyah849 Год назад +3

    Her charity is amazing. She’s brilliant

  • @UserAK89
    @UserAK89 Год назад +5

    Wow! I can relate to the part ‘well you chose him’ was said to me when i was going through ups and down. If only parents can step up and be a voice for their child we will feel safe and protected. Well done thanks for sharing ❤

  • @1981-z8b
    @1981-z8b Год назад +7

    You are a hero and have saved many lives just by saying no to your parents you found your purpose and are doing gods work❤

  • @christines5430
    @christines5430 Год назад +6

    It breaks my heart to know that here in the UK there are still young women who are nof able to break free from these abuses and choose how they want to live their lives. Through your bravery and standing up for what is right, through your choices made at such a young age, you have broken the cycle of the so called 'honour' that crippled your family. Your children are free! Many others are free. Your grandchildren will be free! Need up the good work!

  • @DiannelLaird
    @DiannelLaird Год назад +7

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister. I recently lost my best friend and I understand your grief. You, should be so very proud of yourself, for who you are. You seem to be such a caring soul and so genuine. Take care of yourself. 🤗

  • @susannechickenmom5621
    @susannechickenmom5621 Год назад +3

    Your speaking for so many women, you are doing such a tremendous affect. Bless you

  • @matthewlevi2685
    @matthewlevi2685 2 года назад +12

    I am so sorry for the loss of your sister and family. May God bless you and heal you. Thanks for being a strong woman and sharing your story! I know it can help so many other people not feel alone.

  • @susanelizabeth1724
    @susanelizabeth1724 Год назад +4

    Wow - so brave and strong to ensure family shunning.

  • @patriciafaison9164
    @patriciafaison9164 Год назад +14

    You have survived, never be ashamed. Your parents have lost. Stay strong and be a voice for all those other women.

  • @charissesainty4854
    @charissesainty4854 Год назад +10

    Wonderful message for all who have experienced abuse within your family and their friendships.

  • @tinajohansson4888
    @tinajohansson4888 Год назад +4

    All these strong women ❤ They loose a lot and still fighting for themselves.

  • @avynthegoat
    @avynthegoat Год назад +2

    “It’s better she killed herself than get divorced” That’s just disgusting. How can you even call yourself a mother after preferring your daughter be abused and die than be happy. A real parent doesn’t put their pride before their child

  • @wilsonkitlingyuenmui1325
    @wilsonkitlingyuenmui1325 Год назад +6

    I happy that you disowned your family they did not protect you. I am happy for you that stand up for yourself.

  • @bettiegiles3677
    @bettiegiles3677 Год назад +2

    You are a WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL STRONG WOMAN! GOD BLESS YOU!

  • @SM-xs3yh
    @SM-xs3yh Год назад +4

    You are an angel Jasvinder and I have the most upmost respect for you ❤

  • @ashleychemise
    @ashleychemise Год назад +3

    Wow, just wow, this was so saddening 😢Courageous story.

  • @myahmaria2904
    @myahmaria2904 Год назад +3

    I am actually reading her story as she made a book it’s so horrible what Jasvinder had to go through 🥺🙏

  • @mspink14
    @mspink14 Год назад +1

    WOW. You have become a beautiful, intelligent, kind, loving, warrior and friend for women around the globe! But never an unkind word- just positive! Well done- well spoken. You are brave and born to be this voice. THANK YOU GOD BLESS YOU!!!

  • @gerrymaurer
    @gerrymaurer Год назад +3

    This is so sad to think a culture and tradition can and does continue to abuse and use so openly (and secretly). I have a dear friend who escaped from abusive, forced marriage only because of a strong caring auntie. Thanks to God!

  • @bernadettecrawford3656
    @bernadettecrawford3656 Год назад +1

    A beautiful intelligent woman out of your pain you now help others its so sad for your sister may she R I P the culture is brainwashing women. You are a Hero God bless you.

  • @wanya_telborn
    @wanya_telborn Год назад +3

    Robina is speaking through her ❤❤❤

  • @kyleeconrad
    @kyleeconrad Год назад +8

    I dare say it's coersive marriage not arranged marriage.

  • @mamasmurf7830
    @mamasmurf7830 3 месяца назад +1

    It’s mind boggling that they would have the audacity to call you a prostitute for running away from a forced marriage when they’re LITERALLY trying to sell you to a man. 🤦🏽‍♀️ They’re pimps. That whole system is SO effed up.

  • @malapanchoosingh9693
    @malapanchoosingh9693 Год назад +9

    Wow. So amazed by your story and how ignorant of parents to still force their girl children into early marriages when they do even know about their own bodies. I’m very happy for you that you broke away and gained your freedom. I hope and pray that many young girls listen to your hearts’ story and follow in your footsteps. You are braver than you would ever know. Let’s break that generational curse from grandparents and let the future generations of young girls see and experience the world in their own rights. I’m touched by your story.. I’m from Guyana, South America and from Indian descent. There too girls were arranged at a young age to a suitor. But, as the years went by, they changed. I was able to dodge this situation after we migrated to the United States and found love on my own. You are a brave and beautiful woman and very smart. Wish you well with your KARMANIRVANA. 🕉️🕉️🙏🏻🙏🏻🕉️🕉️🔱🔱🔱

  • @flowers7421
    @flowers7421 Год назад +4

    You are truly a hero. Thank you for sharing. If only everyone had your courage we could change the world

  • @sharonevans1257
    @sharonevans1257 Год назад +9

    You're a brave person!

  • @annierose6197
    @annierose6197 Год назад +2

    My heart goes out to you I would always help any one who runs away abd keep them safe

  • @Frances-Carr
    @Frances-Carr 2 года назад +9

    You're a hero to so many. ❤🌹

  • @gravityclarity
    @gravityclarity Год назад +11

    Robina most likely didn't kill herself. She was set on fire by her abusive family. People who love you don't force you into a situation like that, or abandon you. I can't believe on her death bed, your mom was still worried about shame. The people in the community have the power to change this culture.

  • @caroleknight8880
    @caroleknight8880 Год назад +6

    God bless you for taking this on.

  • @kappi2464
    @kappi2464 3 месяца назад

    I love this woman and her advocacy ❤️

  • @jule3480
    @jule3480 4 месяца назад

    You are a brave woman speaking out

  • @girlsforstemusa970
    @girlsforstemusa970 Год назад +1

    So touched!

  • @indrali4322
    @indrali4322 Год назад +2

    Great speech God bless you. Keep on fighting .

  • @ryuryu340
    @ryuryu340 Год назад +2

    Dude she's awesome!

  • @shimire26
    @shimire26 2 месяца назад

    I am suddenly struggling with the threat of a forced marriage and these videos are helping me so much. I feel scared but I have been standing up for myself and I feel so confused but I know I will pull through, because of all the legacies left by people like you

  • @judyabbott2812
    @judyabbott2812 Год назад +2

    I am so happy I came by this. This is so consuling

  • @joshgroom8421
    @joshgroom8421 3 месяца назад

    Such respect for women. They need to band together and talk to each other, as a male with a daughter I cannot imagine forcing my daughter to marry without love and hope. This story is so common. Men- brothers and Uncles and Fathers need to stand by our women and understand we are all equal

  • @saism4570
    @saism4570 Год назад +5

    Absolutely heartbreaking

  • @ryuryu340
    @ryuryu340 Год назад +2

    So they have their daughters be FORCED to choose a husband and blame them? Not only that but FORCE them to be married to a child predator. DISGUSTING!

  • @kungfu4003
    @kungfu4003 Месяц назад

    I reached out for help at the time but no response. That amplifies the pain. It has taught me that people are out, for what they can get. We live in a world where people are too self-centred and self-obsessed to ask about others. People commenting on this means nothing if they are doing nothing in practice.

  • @kimirio66
    @kimirio66 Год назад +3

    WOW!...Is it wrong to say ' I really enjoyed listening to her story ' ?..As a teen, she should have had the worry of normal teen ' thing's ', such as getting pimples, going through puberty, her first boyfriend crush, but what she had to endure, at the hands of her Parents/culture, must have been so hard at such a young age...I'm glad she fought for what was right for HER and I'm at the same time sorry, for what she went through and what was taken from her, because she had the gut's to go against her tradition!...Blessings to her and her family...Finally R.I.P. Robina

  • @SB-iz8sz
    @SB-iz8sz Год назад +2

    You are amazing…thank you for sharing. God bless you always ❤

  • @ritajit4730
    @ritajit4730 Год назад +1

    I remember you, Jasvinder, & when you started the charity up- You spoke up, when it's so scary to do so

  • @alexbarlow3657
    @alexbarlow3657 2 года назад +5

    I remember reading your book years ago your so strong and amazing!💕🙏💕

  • @lisabester9145
    @lisabester9145 2 года назад +9

    I read her book afew year's ago it was heartbreaking😢She's so amazing and strong!💕🙏💕

  • @h.s.l6875
    @h.s.l6875 Год назад +6

    In my country - Israel- we have arranged marriages here, but like you said, there is a great difference between arranged marriage to forced marriage. Arranged marriage is, imo, a great way to get married, both people come to the meetings knowing what he end goal is, and obviously it all their choice.
    I'm so sorry to hear that even in western countries women and girls are not protected from such traditions. It must be a great shock to realize all the other girls around you have more rights then you.

  • @MamazitaCole
    @MamazitaCole Год назад +1

    God bless you, gorgeous 🩷
    Thank you so much for your resilience & strength in sharing your story. Xo 🛐🩵

  • @wanya_telborn
    @wanya_telborn Год назад +2

    She set herself on fire 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

  • @katieclough2158
    @katieclough2158 Год назад +1

    Keep speaking , you are so brave

  • @annadouglas7168
    @annadouglas7168 Год назад +2

    You are an amazing woman !

  • @worshipthecreator9081
    @worshipthecreator9081 Год назад +1

    1.23... absolutely. Mine was arranged. Love my better half to bits ❤❤❤
    9.33 that's suicide... oh my 😭

  • @JJ-mn8md
    @JJ-mn8md 3 месяца назад

    You didn't lose anything, they didn't love you. Who needs a family like that?

  • @rockrollangel1972
    @rockrollangel1972 Год назад +1

    Sadly women are considered second class, it is so sad, makes me glad I live where I live.

  • @SuzeeD4358
    @SuzeeD4358 Год назад +1

    Very inspiring story.

  • @angelinamoody989
    @angelinamoody989 4 месяца назад

    Good woman! 👍👍👍👍👍

  • @anitacohen8753
    @anitacohen8753 Год назад +3

    It is cultural. Children are another resource in a poor country like India. Parents often promise them in childhood to another family in the hope of material gain. This happens because there is no welfare in India. If after the marriage, the brides family does not come up with the goods, the woman suffers from all types of persecution. Having scant means of support, this system has endured for decades. God forbid.

  • @ferfuentes6624
    @ferfuentes6624 6 месяцев назад

    such a queen

  • @hankstopher
    @hankstopher Год назад

    Freedom!

  • @mikesheth5370
    @mikesheth5370 Год назад +3

    Happens with jat sikhs! Lot less in other jatis!

  • @ummisumon2838
    @ummisumon2838 Год назад +1

    Hi jaswinder I love ur story my mum was the same as you she was married to somone she didn't know but she survive he killed himself just before I was born and he didn't want me he wanted boy but he has one sister in punjab I really don't wanna meet her i am very sacred if I do 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • @wiccacat17
    @wiccacat17 Год назад +1

    I have grown up in a family were being female isn't looked down on. We are seen on equal ground to any of the men in the family. So I can't understand what people who go though problems like forced marriage feel and how they feel about what happens to them. Nor do I understand what they go though when they choose to take a stand for them self. What I can say is getting your self out of such a thing isn't the wrong path to take. You are a person and should be seen and respected as a human and not an item. You have feelings, thoughts, dreams and so much more about you that matters. So don't give up and keep fighting for your right to be you. There are families like mine were the women are strong and are able to be who they are. Sure the men in my family make sure to protect us but they do so by having our backs just as much as we have their backs. They allow us to speak and be heard as well as respect what we have to say and how we feel. They view us as not just family but as the people we are. I wish more families were like this but sadly the world doesn't work that way. Yet giving up isn't the right answer to taking the steps to make change. So take those step you are wroth being heard and seen.

    • @Sona77.
      @Sona77. Год назад

      You’re so lucky. I feel like breaking away from Indian culture. I don’t want arranged marriage and just be a maid. It is truly heartbreaking

  • @margeaupanforte
    @margeaupanforte 4 месяца назад

    How beautiful

  • @haarisraja5748
    @haarisraja5748 8 месяцев назад

    Such a sad story idk how anyone gets over a siblings death, God shouldn't give daughters to these people they don't deserve them

  • @oliviawoolnough2947
    @oliviawoolnough2947 Год назад +1

    You're amazing

  • @joemeyer7718
    @joemeyer7718 Год назад

    God bless you. Stay strong.

  • @63rambler66
    @63rambler66 Год назад +1

    I think the family set Rabina on fire.

  • @trisharai7032
    @trisharai7032 Год назад +4

    Though m staying in India, I never knew this face of Punjab. We people, our laws r responsible for all these things. Once they should pass the law, every individual whether a boy or a girl should take care of their parents in their old age. I swear there won't be any difference between a boy and a girl. Most couple in India want baby boy . Why? To have a full time maid after his marriage sorry free fulltime maid. So pathetic! Why don't u cultivate culture in ur own son? Why can't he take care of his parents? Why girl has to take care? Have they sponsered her education or marriage? And even after doing her responsibilities sincerely, she is considered outsider. In some houses she is used as a punching bag... No gov. Or any other person is going to take the charge, only the girl child's parents have to do so. Forget about society and become selfish when u have to choose between them & ur child. Just remember no society member came when she had fever, when she fell down while taking her first step. It were u... Girls help ourself and stay strong...

  • @mariesahota1478
    @mariesahota1478 Год назад +1

    Thia ho khe thia nu vi, thia fet kaar thia. ***gurdas man ***

  • @Maggatoota
    @Maggatoota 2 года назад +2

    Wow!

  • @jojodancehallvibes
    @jojodancehallvibes Год назад +1

    😢 so sad ❤

  • @dilkycorteling2586
    @dilkycorteling2586 Год назад +1

    You are amazing. Does this still happens in the UK silently.
    I remember this issue when I wad in the UK🇬🇧🇨🇦

    • @bg6358
      @bg6358 Год назад +2

      It happens a lot in the Pakistani muslim community. Not so much amongst punjabi Sikhs and pretty much never amongst Hindus. Luckily it's all getting washed out of the culture.

    • @dilkycorteling2586
      @dilkycorteling2586 Год назад

      @@bg6358 thank God ...

    • @UnknownUser-by4le
      @UnknownUser-by4le Год назад

      @@bg6358 I’d say that untrue
      It’s not common
      With Punjabi’s. Pakistani are marrying out of their race also. Whereas Punjabi’s (Sikhs) will only marry their own

    • @bg6358
      @bg6358 Год назад +1

      @Unknown User I don't know where you're living but here, Sikhs marry out more than Pakistanis do. Sikh/hindu weddings are main one but also Sikh girls marrying muslim/white/sometimes black (but this is rarer)

    • @KcBreezy-g7n
      @KcBreezy-g7n Год назад +2

      It is unfortunate. Happens in all South Asian originated families. That includes Sikh, Hindu, Pakistani and Bengali, equally and anyone who tells you different is lying. There is a law now in the UK for forced marriage, honour killings and lots of support for individuals affected or run aways. Schools are trained to pick up on signs. still happens unfortunately, but not as prevalent. I lost my friend (Indian) that just disappeared one day from school and never came back. It devastated everyone. It happened a lot with girls in my school when they were in their final year of school.

  • @krisjames4276
    @krisjames4276 Месяц назад

    ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @gingerjoy516
    @gingerjoy516 Год назад +2

    🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️💚🧡🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏💚❤️🧡🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️💚🧡🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏

  • @vsangha641
    @vsangha641 Год назад +3

    This makes me so angry.

  • @GODISANARCISSIST
    @GODISANARCISSIST Месяц назад

    Forced marriage is pure evil

  • @angelinamoody989
    @angelinamoody989 4 месяца назад

    This is not a family…lucky they dis owned you! Lucky, lucky! What kind of a mother was this?

  • @AyeshaKhan-vh7ow
    @AyeshaKhan-vh7ow Год назад +5

    ALLAH BELS YOU GO WOMAN SAVE ALL THE GIRLS AND BOYS FROM THIS QE US A MUSLIM WOMAN WE HAVE A RIGHT TO CHOSE OUR HUSBAND

    • @worshipthecreator9081
      @worshipthecreator9081 Год назад +2

      Not just Muslims ALL WOMEN.. this is a problem in the SUB-CONTINENT

    • @roast-o-logy
      @roast-o-logy Год назад +2

      Oh..chal chal...liar...right ??? Muslim woman and right ??? 😂😂😂😂

  • @lindaknaras8828
    @lindaknaras8828 Год назад

    So sad

  • @tornadoriver2078
    @tornadoriver2078 Год назад

    🥰🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤

  • @BEAKERBOT
    @BEAKERBOT Год назад

    🌺🌼🌻🌷🏵

  • @sourapple6604
    @sourapple6604 Год назад +1

    Alot of manipulation

  • @mikesheth5370
    @mikesheth5370 Год назад +1

    No Sikh couplle get married in gurdwara unless parents approve!

    • @hajarmatveeva
      @hajarmatveeva Год назад

      Because in this SH$TTY "fith" kids are property of their parents.

  • @coco-150
    @coco-150 Год назад

    This is disaster what girls going thry

  • @Truth-Always
    @Truth-Always Год назад

    Sikhs ooof

  • @browngirlasmr5942
    @browngirlasmr5942 Год назад +2

    Dying by fire practice was abolished during the British rule. Please don’t spread misinformation about India. We don’t practice such traditions from my mother’s mother’s mother generation.

  • @Sharon_Miller
    @Sharon_Miller 3 месяца назад

    ❤❤❤