How Losing Your Job Changes You
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- Опубликовано: 24 авг 2024
- Unexpectedly losing a job is hard, but it can also change you in the long term, setting off a cycle that may be hard to break out of, and leaving lasting effects on the way you see and interact with the world.
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Kind of hard to trust a company when they say they're not going to lay off anyone and then the next week, do a complete 180 and start laying off people, which is what happened to me. Companies don't care about you; in their eyes, you're disposable. In the end, it's all about money.
"But muh capitalism"
I live like 2 houses away from my general manager and he was ultra embarrassed and apologetic when he had to call and lay me off. So some people do care about their employees' emotions.
@@BlizzJaster But many have been alienated not to.
It's true. Employers don't care. They are running a business and making decisions. They fired a guy at my job who was there 20 years all because of covid19 and they were looking at how to save some money. That's why people shouldn't get emotionally involved with a job. Do your work and go home. Don't take it too serious.
Dweejal Torado
You’re obviously in a better position than anybody to know whether your particular former employer in fact did an immediate 180 change from retaining everybody to getting rid of them.
However, in many cases, employers’ thinking and financial abilities have evolved. Keep in mind, the incompetent liar in the White House claimed that everything would be back to normal by Easter 2020. Had that remotely resembled reality, many employers could have tightened their belts and held on, but then the Coronavirus started saying “get real, world!”
Same result if you’re on the receiving end of a lay-off notice that was planned all along or that resulted from a deterioration in circumstances, but the amount of trust erosion is logically vastly different in the former case compared with the latter.
there is a loss in social life, because a lot of people are embarrassed when they loose their jobs and they want to hide it
Plus loss of income, unable to contribute to even less costly socializing.
its diff now when so many ppl have lost their job due to the same thing... not like getting fired in normal times
But yet thousands of people get fired each day. I read about a study if you work 25 years you have a 90% chance of being fired. Sometimes a good job just goes bad and it doesn't mean a person is bad. A good decent manager knows this.
It's not just embarrassment or lack of cash. You really do feel like you're not worthy. What's the first thing someone asks you after your name? "What do you do for a living?" If you've just been fired, this is a minefield.
@@acebaker3623 I just say I'm "Occupationally Challenged".
If you've been experiencing losing a job recently you're DEFINITELY not alone.
Needed to hear this, thanks.
Thank you for this 🙏🏽❤️
Happening to me as we speak
@@ryanaita5354 I wish you well and I hope you find employment soon 🙏🏽❤️
This episode hitting particularly hard seeing as I was laid off TWICE as this pandemic trucks along. It has been incredibly damaging to my mental health
The like is in sympathy. It's a betrayal, and for you, two betrayals back to back.
I hope things work out
I propose we eat the CEO of the parent companies of the workplaces that laid you off.
I'm sorry you had to go through this twice! I was furloughed, but I'm back at work at reduced hours & it feels like it happen again sooner rather than later, so I TOTALLY get where you're coming from! Good luck! I hope your next job appreciates your hard work & is able to keep you on salary!
They let you go from a job that was keeping you from finding work you are passionate about.
I was a soldier for 35 years. I retired and joined a construction company. I was struck by the lack of trust between workers compared to the Army. Once COVID struck I was made redundant. I can now see why there was no trust between staff.
Lost my jobs over the smallest things and it harmed me financially. I will never forgive the worker who made a petty complaint about me without any incentive or gain to make me lose my job. Evil people out there
The loss of trust and motivation is so very true. As someone who's been laid off multiple times, you soon learn that it doesn't matter how hard you try or what skills you bring to the table - if the higher ups want you gone (usually so they can cut costs), then you're gone. That's it. They don't care, and it doesn't matter how strong you make your appeal. Don't get me wrong, I still work hard, but it feels like a more mercenary thing nowadays. I do my tasks, my employers pay me, and that's where it ends. I've no sense of loyalty and zero interest in making friends at work. It just doesn't feel worth it. On the plus side, I find this frees up more energy for personal projects (like writing, which is now my side hustle), but without that outlet, I'm not sure what I'd do. Probably just feel quite depressed.
As a manager - Facts
Im suffering from severe depression.
From retirement.!!!
I loved my job!! It was everything to me...
But I listened to others, amd and followed them out....
Immediately after a week,.. i realized what i did....
I couldn't return... and went into severe depression, and haven't been able to get out of it. I don't enjoy anything in life anymore... i don't go anywhere.
Im mentally paralyzed.... in Regret. I want my job and my life i had before.... 💔🤬😭😫😫
I am so glad to hear there's a reason for feeling like this. I was would be out of a job in September, back in July. Started a new job in August and just the other day I broke down at my new job, due to my lack in confidence having lost my previous job. This makes me feel so much better knowing the reasons why i broke down. Thought I was losing it.
Not my job, but I got kicked off my study begin this year, and it felt like betrayal because they promised me that I would get another chance. Lost a lot of contact and fun, right after a period of basically the most fun I've had in my life/ the happiest I'd been. This video explains so much
In 2015, Martin Seligman, one of the people who helped develop learned helplessness theory, gave a speech about how wrong learned helplessness theory was. He said in his speech that there is a system in the brain that is both necessary and sufficient for helplessness, and that it's default is to be on. People learn over time to turn off that part of the brain. So it's less that we learn to be helpless, and more accurate to say we learn not to be helpless. How this might change our understanding of this video is that in times of uncertainty we revert back to helpless behavior.
And given what we know from life course perspectives, having exit counseling on the business side, and a support network to help with the transition to joblessness might help with the change.
How are you supposed to pay for therapy after you lost a job, if you also lose your healthcare with the job??
Is this an American joke I’m too European to understand?
@@Gilgameshh Short story is our healthcare costs are based on negotiation (which is today all but hidden from consumer view) so health insurance providers which handle large numbers of claims and have negotiating power become necessary to have reasonable healthcare costs. Health insurance is expensive, but also cheaper to purchase for a bulk of people so employers started offering it as a benefit. The economy adjusted and people have become financially reliant on this benefit. When you lose your job, you lose job benefits, you lose access to healthcare (with the exception of Medicaid, which has a number of problems). The recent law ACA made it possible for more people to buy healthcare individually but it's still very expensive. Also the ACA could potentially be invalidated by our courts very soon, but I try not to think too much about that.
@@klutterkicker dude that's f***ed up. We also have paid medicine in our country, but people mostly use it when they have money to spare for convenience (paid clinics are usually nicer and offer more advanced medical tech). But every citizen is entitled to free medical help in state-owned clinics, regardless of his level of income he can choose to not spend a dime and he will still receive medical services.
@@DiveTheseClips In the US it's more like the government will pay in special conditions, such as if you qualify based on income or age (and those are limited and don't always pay in full). Want to hear something really strange, before the ACA insurance was allowed to refuse to cover you if you have a preexisting condition, except through an employer plan but only if you had no more than (I think) a 1 year gap in that coverage. So my parents worried for my entire youth that if I had that gap in coverage I might be left uninsurable for the rest of my life. When my dad retired and I was still in school he opted to may a ridiculously high premium for an extended "COBRA" plan for that reason.
@@Gilgameshh Canada also. You get healthcare benefits from most employers, otherwise toy have to pay for it yourself. Lose job, lose healthcare. No income, can't pay for healthcare. It's really so stupid.
I love how he is modulating his voice with great consideration. You know he is a great guy!
❓
@@MrTooEarnestOnline lol what I meant was he is being empathetic about the topic and ensuring his words don't hurt others
I actually really miss seeing the lady that used to do the scishow psych I don't know her name (she had red hair) I'm not sure what it is but her voice was incredibly attractive I wish she did audio books!
@@CodyHvids oh yeah she does have a sweet voice :)
Aadisha Chandel makes sense
I was fired from Starbucks a couple years ago for being depressed. They would never admit that was directly the reason, but it's pretty easy to tell that was why as they listed a ton of symptoms of depression as reasons instead. I couldn't even apply for unemployment because they somehow determined that, because I was depressed, I was "a danger to the company's image". I came closer than I'd ever been to ending it all right there, but fortunately my parents called and helped me level my head a little. Instead I spent the next 8 months homeless. Late last year I finally turned it around and got a better job with less stress, but I'll never again be able trust an employer to treat their workers with dignity. Starbucks deserves to burn.
I had a similar problem. They say you aren't supposed to fire someone for having a mental illness but employers get around it easy because of employment at will which says they can let you go for any reason as long as it isn't discriminatory based on protected characteristics. It just comes down to the boss and the type of person he/she is.
It may have had to do with the manager at the time. I worked there through three managers and I seem to remember working under the last one for the shortest amount of time. They do an awful good job at making you think you're not doing too terrible before springing a "notice of separation" on you. They didn't even let me finish that day at work. They just sent me home. No two-week notice or anything. Had a job one morning and by the afternoon, I didn't.
That's a horrific way to treat someone. I think something similar us happening to me. I'm a postgraduate student and I think the uni is trying to find some way of getting rid of me because I'm autistic.
Have you filed a lawsuit yet?
That is awful! I am happy that you got over it. You did not deserve that, but instead of waiting for your current job to be in danger, try finding a next opportunity, this way you won't trip if you might ever lose your job.
As one who's been without a job since March, I find this incredibly fascinating.
I was in-between a job transition mid March as well, and only now got a start date for the new job.
Is it very easy to lose a job in US?
@@vkishan2089 Throughout the duration of Covid, things have been unstable for jobs that cannot be worked from home (i.e. hospitals, service industry, etc.) and so I was a head baker and lost my job at the very beginning of the closures. A family member is high-risk and I cannot find a job that is WFH with my skillset in this area. This time has showcased the fragility of "necessary" jobs whilst not putting in place protections for those essential workers. Ordinarily in the U.S. it would depend upon the field one was in, and the job market at large for the area you live in.
I Am jobless since last March :(...
From ALL the job posts I had applied, I only got one interview and I didn't get the job, and my leftover savings today are the equivalent of 2 USD, I live in Cancun, Mexico, I need a job asap, I ran out time/money. Well I heard that you can live over 30 days without food, I will test that myself. I will update if that happens.
@@Kevin-jv7mz I'm so sorry. It's definitely hard for everyone right now. I hope something during this time has been able to bring you joy.
Why is it that you have to tell your employer a two week notice when you have found another job or quitting. But the employer doesn’t have to give you a notice before laying off employees
Being fired is literally getting kicked out of a group because you weren’t good enough (barring some special cases ofc)
Mine was from delayed background check. Lost it 3 months in!
Anyone can be fired. I've been fired twice and both times it hurt immensely. My last job the people there were cruel and when the boss fired me my immediate emotion was relief. There was definitely heartache because at one time I felt love for my coworkers because they were the only family I felt I had. Now it's just anger off and on. Im not angry about the job loss but more about I didn't deserve how I was treated. Lesson learned, don't stay at a place where you aren't valued. I stayed too long and have bitter feelings. Losing a job is like an adult rite of passage. It's not all bad. It usually is a blessing. Im not talking being laid off but flat out fired. I never want to see my old coworkers again. It does make you not trust people. At my current job I play it safe. I've been doing the same job for 3 years and I stay clear of the managers. No more drama for me.
The drop in social activity is due to the loss of self worth. People you used to know saw you in a more respectable way than you feel right now. You don't want to break that, to disappoint them seeing that their respect was misplaced. You don't want to explain your situation or answer questions because that means verbalizing, over and over, what you see as your failure. When you talk about it with them, you want to be able to present it as a story about a rough period that you eventually overcame, and you'll keep waiting for that to be true.
Anybody else experience it this way? Was it different for you? How so?
Wow you perfectly described what I feel like right now :(
The only time I was happy after losing a job is when I was able to live off 8k for 3 months and do side hustles. But that doesn't last for long when the income becomes inconsistent. When you're not used to not having job security, you do feel some sense of worthlessness because that's all you know.
I got fired suddenly from my first job. My second job I got laid off. My third job fired me right before Christmas (and my last paycheck bounced). My fourth employer closed down suddenly. Yes, it gave me mental problems and physical problems that I still suffer from over a decade later.
You aren't alone. If you have insurance go get the help you need so those experiences don't wreck your career
I worked at Radio Shack, it closed, worked at Blockbuster, it closed, worked at Toys'R'Us, it closed. At this point Ya'll should be paying me NOT to work for you.
Hey I've been through the same sort of thing. Job application: Reason for leaving your last job .( The latest one I jumped the ship before it sank. )
Please start working for all social media corporations!
Left Sears for a grocery store...everyone eats...not everyone shops at Sears anymore (at one point they did). Positive vibes from New Hampshire and remember to be kind to each other and yourself during this pandemic and social crisis
Have you considered a job in D.C.?
I was fired by a guy I considered a friend. That was eight years ago, and all of what this video says applies to me still.
My wife lost her job 3 days ago. I'm sending this video to her right now.
Losing a job is one thing, losing money is another. The fear of struggling with the latter will always be there, because it's scary not knowing when will be the next time you can buy food again or if your landlord won't kick you out and make you homeless.
Just lost job due to restructuring. The worst part is that it was the type of company that emphasized work culture, family and mental health well-being. Brought into office out of blue 1 week after a stellar annual review, presented a severance package and escorted out of building by security like a criminal. Now this company that presents itself as a caring loving community wants nothing to do with. Treated like a pariah for the crime of doing my job well.
Job security, what's that
Well you know, it is a grim reminder that we are replaceable cogs, afterall.
Depressable cogs
Or in other words, a large portion of a population being employed "at will" could have measurable social consequences even in times of low unemployment.
My only gripe here is that the term “learned helplessness” is being used pretty irresponsibly. The casual viewer tends to interpret the phrase as an unwillingness or inability to act on their own behalf, and so ends up creating a victim blaming attitude that is not what is actually being shown by the study.
But the bigger reason it’s a bad use here is bc it ignores the fact that there is a social context that as-presented here, the study isn’t accounting for. “Helplessness” means something different if it’s enforced rather than just assumed. A child who is too small to climb over a barrier learns that they are helpless in that way. A child told that they cannot approach that barrier without an adult is having helplessness enforced. (The important difference is where the restriction is coming from.) a person who loses their job, particularly in unfair or unjust circumstances is helpless, yes, but not bc of a limitation natural to them. It’s an enforced limitation.
That distinction is especially important bc it makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE to your loss of trust, loss of community, and feelings of helplessness. A person who screws up and is fired is different from someone sabotaged by a rival or a boss with interpersonal gripes, and the fallout is going to be different.
I lost a job in 2008 and I've never truly been the same. I can personally corroborate this video.
Housing, food, education, and medicine should be a human right. If you need it to survive it shouldn't be made a business out of or denied to you based on circumstances you have no control over. That it isn't, and that homelessness exists, is a testament to how evil people can be once they have more of something than other people. Snowflake rich people believe they have a right to deny you life if it is of no profit to them. This is wrong, and it shouldn't need to be said.
Absolutely. Losing a job wouldn't be nearly as devistating if your entire life wasn't on the line, especially in the USA.
people would have no incentive to work if they had everything for free
@@At0micMeltd0wn Proof? Do the people you know stop working after they have enough money to pay for housing, food, education and medicine?
Ken C several people i know have done this, unfortunately.
@@At0micMeltd0wn
Ok, let's imagine you were correct. What's wrong with people working less? Isn't that what we all want? Most work is not essential, in fact it's pretty pointless.
Well when losing a job = literal death for some people, yeah it makes some people sad
And quitting one, can do wonders for our mood.
I didn’t actually lose my job. I went on a medical leave back in September. When I returned to work in October my job duties had been taken away. In November I was sent to another office and later told that I had been moved because of my medical leave and absences related to my doctor appointments. But I was told that I could keep my job title and salary. But I am currently responsible for answering the phone when I was responsible for attending city council meetings. This is so unfair. I have no recourse whatsoever. I am hurt and angry
I lost my job from a place which I gave almost 12 years of my life. I never took a vacation , almost worked over 80 hours weeks for more than 2 years. I have hospitalised more than once for passing out due to overwork and lack of sleep. I lost my relationships , I did not see my own parents for 12 years. I gave everything without taking back anything , immigrant ethics made me work harder and harder. It took 15 mins for HR to enter my office and ask me to leave as I was part of the lay off process. I tolerated idiots who had no talent , I build world class teams. Being an immigrant whos work VISA is tied together , I have to leave all that I build here. I went to school here , and now I have to move back to a place where I have not stepped for last 14 years.
This is why you need to work for yourself and not others.
I got fired from two jobs and layed off from two jobs. It had a long effect on how I viewed myself. I started not to trust myself and employer. My first job ever I got fired this had a really bad ripple effect on how I fell about work. My job performance suffered with every job I had after that. I was suffering from job burnout and depression at levels you can't even imagine. Job search became really unbearable. What made things worse is my parents didnt believe in me anymore. I ended up on social security and living with my parent. I got into an accident with my car and had no back up saving to buy a new car. What made things worse is that I was put in a psyche ward for major depressive episodes. I'm in my 30s now and have no social life and no money. If it wasn't for my parents I would be homeless.
I lost ny Job in 2012 and ive been BETTER off ever since.
More income and opps.
At 68 & disabled, but not enough for the government, it's too late for me. My job lose took it's toll on me mentally, physically & financially. It also left me without friends & physical contact with my family. I've become a hermit in an old & leaky 20 ft travel trailer with no flushing toilet.
Today I lost my job. I’m 54 years old and it gets tougher every time it happens. At this point in life I still can’t establish a stable career. This is the 4th time in 12 years.
Ugh 😔 I’ve lost 3 jobs in the last six years. I’m thirty one years old. I understand your pain my friend ♥️ it def gets tougher. Ended up on this video because I have a meeting in an hour and I’m super nervous it’s about being fired. I’m so scared. I absolutely CANNOT go through another job loss again.
@thedouglaspodcast I know that feeling, hope you're doing well.
*internally cries realizing my constant history of job lose*
*air hug*
I lost my job last year, the big man didn't like me much and money suddenly went missing on one of his inspections, I found the money and was accused of putting it back because "I got caught". To this day I still have nightmares about the week this happened. In the end I got another job but at a much lower position and the whole time I worked at this new place all I could think is when are they panning to get rid of me. Now last moth I got made redundant due to the covid situation and I feel less motivated then ever to get a new job. Not sure why I felt like sharing this here but there ya go.
Stay positive. Your life will turn around for the better.
It is good that you shared this experience because I'm got through the same situation right now and I feel less lonely thank to this.
i can't eat ,sleep, I'm alone my family doesnt know I lost job. I worked so hard to get this job it was the best job ill ever get 100k a year and it all went away over one night of a bad mistake on my part. I'm so lost , have know unemployment, can't use them as a reference. I'm ashamed and embarrased . im walking into walls everyday , I have rent for 1 more month that's it. 😔
An update 1 year later how are things ??
Same here....
I'm devastated
Affected my mental and physical health
This man's voice is wonderfully melodic. ^_^
Lost a job, friend, and relationship all in the last month. Life is fun
I was forced to leave a job I enjoyed very much as I was living at my cousin who became nasty to live with. She begged me to come live with her and then became greedy about rent when I told her before I had debts to pay and just started a new job. She threatened to throw my stuff out and change the locks. It left me alone and isolated. My work were supportive and had to move back to my parents. It’s been two months and I cannot for love or money find jobs. Been rejected so much and can’t claim benefits. It feels like a limb been cut and I can’t function properly. I can’t do the things I enjoy like the gym, cant afford self care like hair and nails or see friends. It feel isolating and lonely and my depression is getting so bad to the point I’m just like what’s the point. I really hope good times start coming for myself and everyone reading this ❤️❤️
The first thing you get asked in social situations is "what do you do?" If you are a person who is not employed it can be very awkward.
I had been "laid off" (read: fired) due to the company not being very committed to keeping their employees happy, despite what they said. I went from completely trusting my employer and going above and beyond what the job demanded from me to being discarded like a used object when I started to show unhappiness and mental health-related issues (which I already have been experiencing since my teens, mostly bipolar disorder with severe depression). I'm still not over it and it happened a year and a half ago.
I’m going through this right now. Hope you are doing better.
Getting fired sure as hell feels like getting dumped out of the blue
When i was laid off during the great recession I definitely became more isolated. Part of that was feeling enbarrassed, but a lot of it was practical. Most social activities involved spending money, and you don't always want to be the one pushing for the cheaper option than what everyone else wants to do, or you don't want to rely on help or handouts from others, especially if it would have to be ongoing. It's probably a little different for people now because a lot of social life has kind of stopped anyway. It's not like everybody is getting together and doing everything without you. They're at home too. Anyway, my experience made me a lot stingier and cautious in general. I always keep a safe margin when planning anything, and I avoid debt like the plague. Living paycheck to paycheck is just asking for grief. And after finding a new job, it took a long while to really feel committed to it. I tended to look at everything in terms of risk. What was likely to go wrong, and what resources would I have if everything collapsed and everybody betrayed me.
Thank you for making this. I got laid-off of work a few years ago and it still effects me to this day. I didn’t realize how much depression it was causing me. I had a hard time believing anyone when they would tell me it was out of my control, even though I already knew it wasn’t my fault. I wish I had seen this when I first lost my job.❤️
I'm not sure if it helps and you're probably already past it, but when I was a relatively new employee at my first job (3 years--compared to 10+ years employees in the company) I witnessed my company let go of MANY awesome workers in different occasions (and I don't mean 'awesome' as a person, their fingerprints were in things that I later had to look into so I saw the actual work they produced). That made me realize early on that being good at your job meant nothing, they were basically laid off because after a long time at the company their pay was at a level where the bean-counters in the company figured they can just hire someone younger with less pay. Being good at your job doesn't mean your job is secure, whoever made the decision sees you as numbers used as metrics based on what the company's directives are at that time, which is out of your control.
Thank you , I have 3 days left on my job , then let go . The end of this 44 yr career , now started a new one , I say F*** em I'm old but still in the fight . Wish me luck .
Lost my job a year ago and this video is eerily accurate.
I will say it was made worse by the fact I never learned why I was “laid off” when less skilled workers kept their jobs and other more senior employees, like me, lost theirs. There was very little pay differences also.
@@nansi113 holy fk, rng for firing people, thats crazy.
Just turned 31. I got laid off when the pandemic started in 2020. Then, last year, I had the most toxic job I've ever been in my life. I'm now jobless living on my savings that I spent the last 10 years building up. Have been applying for jobs for the last 6 months with nothing to show. I can't take it anymore. I don’t even know why I'm writing this here, I feel like I'm going to snap soon. I guess i'm just venting.
I think being laid off repeatedly over the past 10 years has made me so numb to the frequency of instability prepared me for this year. Thanks to the virus, this is the fourth summer in a row I've been unemployed for one reason or another. I've quit asking myself if things could get any worse because I know the answer is yes, and it's best just to prepare for the next round of disappointments. 😔
I lost two jobs in my life. I was working very hard at both and was overly dedicated. The loss of both ruined my identity and self worth. I thought so long as I was a hard worker, everything would be ok. Even though both companies are now non-existent, and the layoffs were not just me, but company wide, with higher paid people first... it was devastating -- I am still struggling to move past it and I know anywhere I work would be willing to get rid of me in a heartbeat.
I lost my job and to be honest - I would now reflect back saying it was the best thing that could've happened to me. I started a RUclips Channel before getting back to a regular full time position. I'm sitting at 2K subs, so I have high hopes for those who sees this!
At 19 I’ve worked for almost 12 years already, farm work and stuff before I could get a real job, it will be ok but it sucks, and never trust your boss.
I got fired from my job a month ago
I have perpetual anxiety now at my new job. I wasnt fired for my work ethic or anything like that. But I'm still terrified of losing another job. It's the first job I didnt quit from. It upset my 5 year plan majorly. It has made quite a few things harder. Especially as someone prone to trauma and not okay with sudden major change for a multitude of reasons, it was awful.
Please tell me there's gonna be a part 2: how to bounce back emotionally after losing a job
Everything sucks until you find get hired again. Then after being hired for a while you psyche slowly starts to recover depending on how long you are unemployed for.
"If you learn that bad things happy regardless of what you do" - can confirm this is part of depression.
I just lot my job today, I try to cope, and keep my self psychologically speaking intact. Yes, it applies to me.
If the means of production are owned collectively, then losing your job is no longer a disaster because you can survive off your share of the income that your community's capital generates. Seizing the means of production is not just a matter of economic justice, it's a mass mental health intervention.
Solidarity, comrades ✊🏻☭
How does someone dislike the video so fast that it doesnt even have likes yet and like 4 views (5th?)
These guys provide such good nieuws on all ereas of science
So i just wanna say. Scishow is amazing and they deserve so much more then they get !
Sad people, too dumb to even work up a decent "troll", take delight in being irritating.
Obviously they lost their job lol
Triggered
News* and areas*. And yeah, there will always be people disliking videos, no matter what kind of video it is.
Despite job loses and loosing "friends" due to job loss, I personally always try to somewhat make friends, or more find people I get along with and can work well with. But I also am used to people not really being all that permanent in my life. So as sad as it can get, I can usually let it just slide off my back without much care. And if I don't get along with anybody, then oh well. I generally stress more about the money and general financial security. I tend to tie my ability to work around my self worth a little too much. I also tend to have low self worth. This makes me constantly worried that I'm a bad parent or will fail. I dont want to fail because failing hurts my kids; so for me, a job loss is also synonymous with a major parenting fail.
Thanks for spelling out what therapy didn't ANXIETY/STRESS - DISTRUST - LOW SELF-WORTH - LONELINESS. Many people feel the same.
Remember kids, ALWAYS save at least 10% of your gross income.
when I lost my job a few years ago, I became far more involved in my savings and investments. I no longer want to depend on other people liking or even accepting me for my income. I can't wait for the day I can live off my dividends if I need to.
This is why I work for the state. Almost impossible to get fired.
It scares you into being up at this time and not going to sleep. I have had my job for give years and i know you are never safe.
I was a kindergarten assistant this past year but I got sick many times, and had a doctor's excuse each time. Just found out that the principal told other principals and now I cannot get a teaching position. This has upset me so much that I don't want to get out of bed and give up.
Well I guess now I know why I'm all worried about getting in trouble at work all the time. Well one of the reasons.
My father developed dementia after he lost his job. Maybe coincidence but I don’t think so.
What hits hardest for me is the loss of freedom you have.
You don't have a disposable income anymore.
When a busticket is to expensive, you are stuck in more ways then one.
You lose the freedom to get away (even if you didn't want to) you lose the potential.
If there's a plus to it walking everywhere is good for your health and it makes you appreciate public transport and getting lifts from friends more.
What a great presenter. You all are fantastic, I love your work.
Been there, yes it is damaging. Get creative, there’s infinite possibilities
I don’t know that I’d say I’ve lost jobs, I have always been a gig economy worker, so more like I never had a stable job to begin with.
Last gig was a year long and it kinda sucked even if I knew the time was coming up for me to leave. Everyone made a fuss about it too at that job, they wanted me to stay, I said “then hire me indefinitely because I’m not waiting around for you to renew me for another year and then just keep me around wondering you know” they didn’t hire me so now I’m at a new job, this one is a year long too.
I certainly have no loyalty to anyone, unlike my parents who worked for the same company for 40 years and speak about the company almost like a cult. X is the best, X is amazing, you should apply for X.
I come in, get the job done, get paid and move on, I just don’t care
Stop trusting people, there will always be another job out there if you're willing to work. I've went through several jobs because of things outside my control, (frim dot com bust, building resusion, companies not having enough work), you have to remember you job does not define you it's not your life, you should not live to work, but work to live. Don't make you job the centre point if your life, most companies don't care about you but only care about the bottom line. (Granted this is a wee bit different if your self employed, as you need more effort into keeping things going and you will work longer and harder, but it's your company, so....)
It’s not that people have learned helplessness. It’s that people are waking up and realizing that capitalism isn’t the perfect end all be all system that will always protect them as long as they work hard. Companies don’t care about you. They don’t care that your loss of income will significantly stress you out or hurt your ability to get food on the table. They don’t care that the loss of a job also means the loss the health insurance and any access to affordable medical treatment you might need.
It’s all about money and what CEOs can do to hoard as much wealth as possible while giving no security and broken promises to employees who literally depend on that company for their health.
Here’s an idea for taking back control: let’s start a new labor movement for protecting workers from the callousness of rich employers. Let’s make a system where the majority of people’s health is not dependent on the whims or failings of the 1%.
I got fired because of points even from last year it stay and never came off hurt myself with blood, hopping no sympathy or empathy to even say stay home...these jobs don't care nothing about you even with a doctor note still got fired i guess it's a blessing God has something better for me
It's too bad unions were gutted in the 80s, now with right to work and at will employment, there's no job security/stability.
The part about betrayal and learned helplessness really hit me. I have PTSD from an event in my teen years that heavily involves a theme of betrayal, then earlier this year I lost my job and my girlfriend on the same day and it straight up broke me. Those 3 events seemed quite different but they felt so similar and I didn't really get it until now. Unfortunately I don't see how I can use this new understanding to actually improve my situation.
Yep. Took me over a year to get over the depression of losing my job at the end of 2018. It was a bit worse considering the situation & circumstances around it, but still.
Even the perspective of losing your job, like I experience 5 years ago, had some profond effect on me.
Even if I end up keeping my job at the time, it pushed me to a career change.
Great! Looking forward to depression after losing my work study job, left the daycare, now let go from a Library (my dream job). Great! All in not even two years.
Depression is horrible,
Lost my dream career job @ 62!!... all my friends, identity, structure, purpose... I have nothing now.... this is horrible
Congratulations, you’ve been promoted to customer.
I didn’t lose my job, but years ago my hours were suddenly majorly cut without warning, in a way that felt very heartless. I absolutely lost a huge amount of trust in job security, even after changing offices twice (within the same company) and getting a significant promotion.
Lost my job today after a month of working there. The coworkers there ratted on me. They told the manager my skills weren’t good enough for the job.
I haven't been able to maintain a job since my mother passed away back in 2007. I just lost another job last week and I didn't know that I was even employed there. They never gave me a start date. Just a termination letter in my email. Arizona jobs are not careers. Period. Don't believe me? Look at the homeless population and all the empty houses, apartments, and car dealerships that you see.
just lost my job after 36 years and 11 months due to redundancy. Only job I’ve ever had. I feel lost.
I got absolutely destroyed by a job twice in a row. I poured everything i had into it and got praised. The way i got fucked over then changed my life for the worse in more ways than one. i don't socialize with anyone at my new job unless they force the situation upon me, i don't preform or care nearly as much as i want to in my heart. and i'm waiting to get laid off again except this time i don't think i'll care. I did not do anything at all to stand out or really improve the company in any sense at all this time. I have never really felt as crappy as i do nowadays either, it feels like i've given up on myself and tries to settle for mediocrity and flying under the radar.
I was a top performer at my job. Of 15yrs New owners took over and got rid of me due to my age. I'm ok I have a big emergency fund that came from good clean frugle Christian living
Men typically lose more things than women do after a job loss. I won't go into full detail because most men who've experienced this know how friends, family and society neglect you when you've been unemployed for more than a month.
I like this comment, I’m literally going through the same thing right now, lost my job 2 weeks before Christmas and now I can already feel that the people around me are starting to look at me differently like I wasn’t just working my ass off a couple months ago. Don’t help that my area is not very open to just giving jobs.
Yeah especially when you lose a really good job in your field. I remember having to take a position at Chick-fil-A and they wanted me to shave my whole beard and be super friendly to rude customers. I only lasted there for a month then I started independent work as a furniture assembly contractor just to not ask anyone for money. When my GF lost her job, her whole family spoiled and pampered her while I was surviving living in motels or my car. We could not live together unemployed because I was having crazy mental issues smoking weed to cope with my loneliness. My family was in a whole different state.
Be a freelancer, you'll be immune.
I’m not afraid to lose my job. I see as opportunity.
In case Late Capitalism wasn't traumatic enough.
Having pre-existing health issues as long as I can remember so have had very unstable career becasue of that. Quit a few times and was also made "redundant" 2 years ago, quit my next job after that, then when the HR that gave me a lot of grief prior to making me redundant moved on I started contracting to them but now out of work again due to covid. Seems to never end.
Honestly, so much has gone wrong that by the time the ‘job loss’ part hit, everything else had beat the job loss to those symptoms.
I've learnt not to commit to a job, knowing that even if they appear to be committing to me, they aren't. I'm at uni at the moment and my employers keep asking me to go 5 days a week, which would drive me insane with stress. After pushing so much for more hours in my previous job and losing it as soon as the pandemic hit (no support whatsoever), I know no matter how much they try to justify giving me too much work by touting how much they 'value' me, as soon as having me there is too much work for them, I'll be cut off. I've learnt to say no to commitments to companies that I know are not willing to commit to me in the same way. Not so much learned helplessness, but rather learned pessimism and mistrust.
the catch is ... if you lose trust you are less likely to trust people to go to them and ask for help ... etc.
This is my 3rd time being laid off… i feel like this is the end for me😑
Hand in there buddy.
You will be alright.
I lost a great job yesterday. Great money and team and I had been doing very well with sales and sold the fastest deal as a new salesperson in my company. I can't pin down why I was fired I suspect not enough senior management buy in to my deals and pipeline. I'm now considering what comes next. Sometimes i feel i can't go on.