My Chat Destroyed Me With "Gamer Jesus" Jokes For Over 20 Minutes...

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Комментарии • 242

  • @thelivingglitch1371
    @thelivingglitch1371 3 года назад +266

    ALTERNATIVELY:
    So how did Moses pull off that water-parting Glitch? Must’ve had to follow a ten-step speedrunning guide.

    • @TacComControl
      @TacComControl 3 года назад +25

      Moses: "Imma split the Red Sea."
      Pharoah: "HAAAAAAAAAAX"

    • @iamthemilkman7682
      @iamthemilkman7682 3 года назад +17

      Speaking of Moses.
      Fun Fact:
      In the Bayblade anime, it’s actually cannon that Moses parted the Red Sea
      *W I T H A L I T E R A L B A Y B L A D E*

    • @coolgreenbug7551
      @coolgreenbug7551 3 года назад +4

      If the bush isn't on fire, you will have to restart your run

    • @shinigamimiroku3723
      @shinigamimiroku3723 3 года назад +3

      @@coolgreenbug7551 Gotta love them softlocks...

  • @themckenzieblue
    @themckenzieblue 3 года назад +5

    That was the best 20 minutes of my life

  • @AstralSnowstorm6157
    @AstralSnowstorm6157 3 года назад +5

    Adam and Eve discovered several game breaking bugs early on that occurred from eating an apple. A specific apple? Maybe, maybe not, who knows.

  • @sqeekybassoon8210
    @sqeekybassoon8210 3 года назад +2

    Jesus let the bass kick apparently 0:19

  • @RedFlashdrive
    @RedFlashdrive 3 года назад +33

    Christian Jokes are some of the most cringe and awkward jokes ever...which is why they are so freaking awesome!

  • @toastymctoastfacexd6078
    @toastymctoastfacexd6078 2 года назад

    Having a child is just making an alt account

  • @johannes7664
    @johannes7664 3 года назад

    early gang guys

  • @bowlofshortness
    @bowlofshortness 3 года назад +194

    This would be wonderful as an animation. Just the sheer amount of memes you could put in an animation.

  • @TacComControl
    @TacComControl 3 года назад +78

    Islam, Judaism, and Christianity are all on different platforms. Sometimes someone tries to do a cross-platform event, but it rarely ever works out.

    • @Nat_the_Chicken
      @Nat_the_Chicken Год назад +9

      We Jews are over here still playing on a 3,500 year old console
      (Legacy support is pretty good though tbh)

    • @GeoGamerArtistVlogger
      @GeoGamerArtistVlogger 8 месяцев назад

      LMAO

  • @RacingStripeAV
    @RacingStripeAV 3 года назад +165

    "God is a good game designer, the graphics are amazing"
    Does that make fog poor render distance?

    • @CrazyNooX
      @CrazyNooX 3 года назад +7

      I dare say that would be bad eyesight, fog is more like less view range

    • @henriquemontalvao8492
      @henriquemontalvao8492 3 года назад +6

      It's a debuff

    • @xureality
      @xureality 3 года назад +1

      it's to reduce server load

    • @earelevant
      @earelevant 3 года назад

      Lol

    • @Hadaron
      @Hadaron 3 года назад

      Nah, Fog of War is a common way to add difficulty in strategy games.

  • @phantomkitten73
    @phantomkitten73 3 года назад +364

    In the beginning, God said let there be light.
    And there was light.
    And God saw the light, and it was good.
    And then he saw his electric bill, and it was not good.

    • @seantaggart7382
      @seantaggart7382 3 года назад +20

      So he said alright less light
      And then night fell
      And Jesus was happy
      But now he needed a friend so he created the internet and people

    • @TheRealEncy
      @TheRealEncy 3 года назад +3

      Jesus Forgot That Sun Is His Creation, So The Sun Lost His Light And Yea... The End Of Humanity.

    • @dragonblade-go6pe
      @dragonblade-go6pe 3 года назад +1

      @@TheRealEncy dude not cool

    • @TacComControl
      @TacComControl 3 года назад +7

      And then God said, "LET THERE BE MORE LIGHT. But like, RGB this time."

    • @zaxtonhong3958
      @zaxtonhong3958 2 года назад

      Nerdcubed reference?

  • @jamesofthekaijukompendium
    @jamesofthekaijukompendium 3 года назад +87

    So, Martin Luther was mad at the microtransactions and had 95 reasons why?

  • @Joryho
    @Joryho 3 года назад +377

    Christian jokes are almost always funny, whether you’re christian or not.

    • @seantaggart7382
      @seantaggart7382 3 года назад +15

      Yeah even atheist love him

    • @periclescomoeddie5215
      @periclescomoeddie5215 3 года назад +25

      I mean, sometimes it's hard to understand some of them because you've never read the bible, but I have to agree.

  • @asmariamoon
    @asmariamoon 3 года назад +88

    The worst bug is that sometimes your character spawns with the Bad Eyesight trait. Then you're required to purchase the overpriced Glasses DLC, or play while everything around you is just a blurry mess.

    • @DanielSYT
      @DanielSYT 3 года назад +5

      Or get the even more overpriced eye surgery DLC, it's worth it though since you might get some bonus render distance with it.

    • @thatfeelingyouforgotsometh3104
      @thatfeelingyouforgotsometh3104 3 года назад +4

      Oh, that’s just one of the overzealous anti-piracy measures that sometimes affects legit players.

  • @emmbeesea
    @emmbeesea 3 года назад +140

    A G, a D, and a C walk into a bar.
    Gsus.

    • @Splater765
      @Splater765 3 года назад +7

      Get out

    • @zeroichijou8739
      @zeroichijou8739 3 года назад +3

      Hi I haven't slept, can someone explain this to my 2 braincells?

    • @baxkill
      @baxkill 3 года назад +9

      @@zeroichijou8739 Sol - Re - Do make a Suspended chord

    • @BrainyAshes
      @BrainyAshes 3 года назад +2

      *slow clap*

    • @thelivingglitch1371
      @thelivingglitch1371 3 года назад +1

      Stop

  • @thelivingglitch1371
    @thelivingglitch1371 3 года назад +54

    Unus Annus was a trial run of rules-free gameplay for a year. Mark and Ethan were sponsored to showcase the event.

  • @josiahkrodel4656
    @josiahkrodel4656 3 года назад +60

    "lets get this bread, jesus said. as he broke it and passed it to his followers"

  • @kristofertaft194
    @kristofertaft194 3 года назад +25

    Originally the game was made for the SEGA Genesis but after much debate was ported over to the Nintendo Revelation.
    Note: The Nintendo Revolution was the beta name for the Wii.

  • @L1N3R1D3R
    @L1N3R1D3R 3 года назад +60

    Our Father, Who works at Nintendo, hallowed be Thy game.

    • @jameskarg3240
      @jameskarg3240 3 года назад +1

      And his name is Shigeru Miyamoto
      Praise be unto him, for he is gamings savior

  • @nowhammies10
    @nowhammies10 3 года назад +18

    Jesus saves! Passes to Moses who parts the way up the middle, over to Noah, he shoots he SCORES! HOLY MACKINAW WHAT A GOAL!

  • @MsMollieMac
    @MsMollieMac 3 года назад +32

    Jerod + Chat = a youth pastor

  • @GabeV12
    @GabeV12 3 года назад +27

    I don’t know, guys, I think my game is bugged. I don’t think the Red Sea’s textures loaded in quite right, there’s a huge gap in the middle.

    • @MercuryCat
      @MercuryCat 3 года назад +2

      Nah, that’s a common thing. You can just walk right through, then it’ll fix itself!

  • @Flaming_Saturn
    @Flaming_Saturn 3 года назад +30

    Usually my mental issues might spike, y’know, self doubt and all that crap. But seeing this genuinely made me feel glad and happy.
    Keep up the good shit man!

  • @fracturedemperor
    @fracturedemperor 3 года назад +73

    furret casually walking while he dies of gamer jesus jokes

    • @MariOmor1
      @MariOmor1 3 года назад

      That just shows how powerful Furret is
      No matter the situation, no matter what time or place he is in,
      He just walks. That's it.

  • @justavivi3386
    @justavivi3386 3 года назад +17

    2020 is just very bad patch that broke some things, waiting for 2021 hotfix.

    • @xureality
      @xureality 3 года назад

      it's an attempt by the devs to eject the players so they can shut down the server

    • @15stargamer98
      @15stargamer98 3 года назад

      I mean, it was a faulty upload on God’s part, he downloaded this copy of 2020 from a shady site and it came with a virus

  • @GrouchyGander
    @GrouchyGander 3 года назад +20

    We all know the second testament was just patch notes.

  • @sethingram987
    @sethingram987 3 года назад +10

    So if the new testement is patch notes, is the old testement the alpha build?

  • @earelevant
    @earelevant 3 года назад +19

    Resurrection is just new game+ change my mind

  • @JPB5
    @JPB5 3 года назад +20

    CSGO Prayer:
    Our Father who AWPs in heaven
    CS be thy game
    Uncase begun, them skins be won,
    Covert - and not a Mil-Spec.
    Give us this day a StatTrak knife,
    And forgive us when we rage quit,
    As we forgive those who aimbot against us,
    And lead us not into scamnation
    Undeliver us a Battle Scarred,
    For Valve is his kingdom,
    His power, his glory, forever and ever,
    Gaben.

  • @BlindMelonLord
    @BlindMelonLord 3 года назад +29

    As the one saying goes, regular school is the tutorial, college is the overpriced DLC.

    • @jadetheslime3140
      @jadetheslime3140 2 года назад +2

      i'm still going through the tutorial sadly.

    • @RGVS1225
      @RGVS1225 2 года назад +1

      For a tutorial the devs didn't put much work into it with newbies in mind...
      Life really is grindy and p2w.

  • @thelivingglitch1371
    @thelivingglitch1371 3 года назад +19

    THIRD IDEA: Noah was able to play MC Ocean Survival for 40 Days and 40 Nights straight. The prep work for the herding must have been insane, though it sucks that he invalidated the run due to forgetting the Dinosaurs.

    • @ianthehedgehog9327
      @ianthehedgehog9327 3 года назад +3

      Nah, the dinosaurs got a pre-order, and lost the game when it actually released.

  • @MadMasterPorkey
    @MadMasterPorkey 3 года назад +120

    Not quite sure why, but the Furret Walcc (Accumula Town music) being present makes this funnier

  • @virgil0117
    @virgil0117 3 года назад +12

    “my favorite gamer joke is jesus” -jerod 2020

  • @cubicengineering4715
    @cubicengineering4715 3 года назад +21

    People with amnesia are just respecing their character

  • @somesoma
    @somesoma 3 года назад +6

    And when Mary and the other women who had prepared spices approached the tomb on the third day, they found the stone rolled away, and an angel appeared saying, "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He has clipped out of bounds, for His Father got the rez."

  • @kavukkii
    @kavukkii 3 года назад +7

    This makes me want to make a drawing of jesus tposing and satan just in fetal position

  • @skunkfac3
    @skunkfac3 3 года назад +6

    When you repent, is that a ban repeal?

  • @Juan_3M3R
    @Juan_3M3R 2 года назад +10

    Someone in chat said "And in the second day, God fixed the Lighthing issue", that's so good. And Jerod's final joke was even better. How did I not find this video earlier uugh this is hilarious

  • @arfonedwards8442
    @arfonedwards8442 3 года назад +6

    Baptism is a side mission worth 10G Xbox points and the message "You have unlocked Christianity" scrolls across the side of the font.

  • @melishdoge4933
    @melishdoge4933 3 года назад +29

    Jesus had some mad ping.

  • @oricalcumhammer9707
    @oricalcumhammer9707 3 года назад +58

    Doesn't that mean that Atlantis is a cut level?

    • @Maniac4Bricks
      @Maniac4Bricks 3 года назад +1

      Underwater and temple levels tend to always get cut from the final product, don't they?

    • @MartinMKGamerJohnson
      @MartinMKGamerJohnson 2 года назад

      @@Maniac4Bricks Sometimes you have to deep dive into the code in order to find something

  • @sethingram987
    @sethingram987 3 года назад +5

    Would getting struck by lightning be a rng roll on gods mod chat smiting you?

  • @Healion123
    @Healion123 3 года назад +16

    1. I'm still waiting for them to add natural BG music. Having to play the music myself is getting boring
    2. Does that mean conspiracy theorists are dataminers?
    3. Colorblindness, actual blindness, being deaf or mute, etc are basically slightly-broken copies of the game
    4. They need to pull a Sims 3 greatest patch notes ever & make the "Become enemies with child" wish no longer appear

  • @BlueKnight85
    @BlueKnight85 3 года назад +3

    Patch-in notes? Prima guide?
    I thought the Bible was the instruction manual.

  • @KorporalKReephdmkiytrecv69
    @KorporalKReephdmkiytrecv69 3 года назад +25

    I see you're talking about that one guy who said "yeah baby, that's what I've been waiting for that's what it's all about"

  • @TheZiiFamily
    @TheZiiFamily 3 года назад +7

    Jesus was crucified...
    2 siners remain

  • @TheAdvertisement
    @TheAdvertisement 3 года назад +14

    This is the most wholesome thing I've ever seen in a while. 8bit is such a great person.

  • @_Emrakull
    @_Emrakull 3 года назад +3

    Jesus was a gamer. Now before you say, "Hey video games weren't around back then", let me explain. The gamers objective is "Let's get this bread" , now if you look a the Lord's prayer you will find the line "Give us this day our daily bread". Coincidence? I think not. Jesus wanted us gamers to get this bread. Which makes him a fellow gamer. You know what gamers also do? Rise up. And what did Jesus do, you guessed it he rose up.

  • @TacComControl
    @TacComControl 3 года назад +23

    God: "I created everything."
    Humans: "Documentation please?"
    God: "Write your own documentation. What could go wrong?"
    (infinite branch forking intensifies)

  • @Juan_3M3R
    @Juan_3M3R 2 года назад +2

    "Its giving birth a gacha role?" will stick with me forever wtf

  • @thehydragoose
    @thehydragoose 3 года назад +4

    Jesus, take the controller!

  • @brodie.for.fun.
    @brodie.for.fun. 3 года назад +22

    Make a cover of Jesus Freak by DC talk and my life will be complete

    • @RedFlashdrive
      @RedFlashdrive 3 года назад +2

      Probably cant cause of dmca crap but that would be awesome!

    • @BlindMelonLord
      @BlindMelonLord 3 года назад

      he wouldn’t be able to keep it on twitch, but he could put it here.

    • @brodie.for.fun.
      @brodie.for.fun. 3 года назад

      Uhhh what is dmca

    • @RedFlashdrive
      @RedFlashdrive 3 года назад +3

      @@brodie.for.fun. Digital Millennium Copyright Act. Basically it protects artist from Music getting stolen. If a streamer plays an artist music and is making money off of it, regardless if its intentional or not, they can get in trouble.

    • @brodie.for.fun.
      @brodie.for.fun. 3 года назад

      So it's only for twitch and other streaming software?

  • @matil7880
    @matil7880 3 года назад +8

    "Everyone in heaven is a speedrunner"
    *yes speedrun death*

  • @icey244
    @icey244 3 года назад +7

    Gosh I love these wacky random one off videos, they're so hilarious.

  • @thelivingglitch1371
    @thelivingglitch1371 3 года назад +4

    The one thing Jesus can’t stand is lootbox drops; all the keys cost $6.66.

  • @Saxdude26
    @Saxdude26 3 года назад +2

    Jesus QuikSaves?! He'd be very good at Oddworld.
    Just hits the F5 key... actually, wait no, that's why the Quarma is represented by a halo! *BADUM TSS*

  • @lilyrosethevtuberfan
    @lilyrosethevtuberfan 3 года назад +5

    The Judas sus jokes are my favorite. 😂😂😂😂

  • @happyfellowship4291
    @happyfellowship4291 2 года назад +2

    This is my new favorite brand of Christian comedy.

  • @Yeshua_Kristos
    @Yeshua_Kristos 3 года назад +2

    The Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life!"
    But John came fifth, so all he got was a toaster.

  • @MrViperfang
    @MrViperfang 3 года назад +2

    Wouldn't pregnancy just be an injection of code?

  • @nessiebwur
    @nessiebwur 3 года назад +7

    I love these jokes so much! They're actually pulling me out of depression today because of chronic pain! Thanks, Jerod!!

  • @catbees
    @catbees 3 года назад +3

    Whenever we drive anywhere in the fog, my sister and I always comment on the low render distance

  • @DragonPianist
    @DragonPianist 3 года назад +8

    This is the highest amount of laughter I have ever heard from Jerod

    • @Dozeji
      @Dozeji 3 года назад

      And he kept going for a while it seems. I wanna watch the whole thing, but dunno when the stream was aired. Scavenging for the full stream is a bit tough

  • @Alexander.0671
    @Alexander.0671 3 года назад +5

    Don't worry, chat is just trying to watch the entirety of furret walk

  • @weirdguy1495
    @weirdguy1495 3 года назад +5

    This was a lot more wholesome than I expected, good.

  • @MsMollieMac
    @MsMollieMac 3 года назад +2

    Yall are dorks, and I need to catch you live to be dorks with yall

  • @bleuthepichu
    @bleuthepichu 3 года назад +6

    Oh boy, I remember watching this live. I was cry laughing the entire time. 🤣🤣

    • @Dozeji
      @Dozeji 3 года назад

      When was this live? I wanna watch the replay, I feel there was a bit more there after the end

  • @felwinterslie8223
    @felwinterslie8223 3 года назад +2

    And god said "let there be ps5"

  • @tylercollins9323
    @tylercollins9323 3 года назад +2

    access denied: jesus is working on a new game

  • @tactical_slime4608
    @tactical_slime4608 3 года назад +2

    i just want a full character editor update to be in already. I already got bad rng

  • @KrimsonePlays76
    @KrimsonePlays76 2 года назад +2

    You know by this logic everyones else's internet is worse since we disconnect upon death.

  • @jamiebarker07
    @jamiebarker07 3 года назад +4

    This is probably some of the funniest stuff ever lol

  • @TalecraftTavern
    @TalecraftTavern 3 года назад +6

    That joke is SOOO GOOD

  • @seantaggart7382
    @seantaggart7382 3 года назад +3

    There IS A GOD
    AND HIS NAME IS GAMER JESUS

  • @saxman276
    @saxman276 3 года назад +5

    My favourite part of the bible is when Jesus let the bass kick OOOOOOAAAOOOEEEEAAAOOOJJJOOOO

  • @RetroRSP
    @RetroRSP 3 года назад +2

    The next generation of Church Prime

  • @Gutheck
    @Gutheck 3 года назад +2

    Lmao! So glad to be part of this moment live..I was dead at the end of this! xD So darn funny..I love this community and Jerod!

  • @mushycorn4200
    @mushycorn4200 3 года назад +3

    The gamer lord brings his normies to chadlightenment

  • @jenkinsfamily2229
    @jenkinsfamily2229 3 года назад +2

    I’m not even Christian and I find this absolutely hilarious.

  • @plasmakitten4261
    @plasmakitten4261 5 месяцев назад +1

    The Ten Commandments seem to me like less of a terms of service and more of a competitive ruleset. The laws of physics are the terms of service

  • @edwardwilson7459
    @edwardwilson7459 2 года назад +2

    I love how he's so spent the video ends with him still doubled over dieing xD

  • @CiruPlays
    @CiruPlays 3 года назад +5

    remember if anyone is capable of quicksaving and reloading to make all the right decisions, we dont know.

  • @Deevster
    @Deevster 3 года назад +6

    Jesus, that's a lot of jokes.

  • @betagamer35
    @betagamer35 2 года назад +1

    I love the joke
    the 10 commandments are the terms of service

  • @totally_not_xen
    @totally_not_xen 3 года назад +2

    Fortnite -"RNG-sus"

  • @Starroid
    @Starroid 3 года назад +1

    My god jerod the peak of gamer jokes...

  • @atomicbetrayal1
    @atomicbetrayal1 3 года назад +2

    God: Are you winning son?

  • @nicholasrogers4256
    @nicholasrogers4256 2 года назад +1

    How dose Jesus make his coffee Hebrews it

  • @ohgodno
    @ohgodno 3 года назад +1

    i aint christian nor old enough to have learned about this so i dont get the joke and i feel like im missing out on something really good

    • @killorder7237
      @killorder7237 2 года назад

      Naw it's alright mate, you'll find out why they're funny if you join us! It's never too late to accept the invitation! All the best wishes.

  • @Pogchamp889
    @Pogchamp889 2 года назад +2

    Ping: 666

  • @ショウ-j2m
    @ショウ-j2m 3 года назад +1

    The prettiness of furret saves the world

  • @justjoking5252
    @justjoking5252 3 года назад +2

    _Good Lordy._

  • @phantomdivexv8653
    @phantomdivexv8653 3 года назад +2

    7:17

  • @SnakeBP
    @SnakeBP Год назад

    Why did Judas hanged himself? He order the wrong DLC.

  • @L1N3R1D3R
    @L1N3R1D3R 3 года назад

    I like to think of Christianity and Islam as different versions of the same generation of Pokemon

  • @206Zelda
    @206Zelda Год назад +1

    God bless these jokes 🤣

  • @sybiliminalSyntax
    @sybiliminalSyntax Год назад

    Remember, chat, jesus... (Jerod dies of laughter)

  • @Ai_M3talloidX7
    @Ai_M3talloidX7 Год назад

    Hello from 2 years in the future. Thanks, Susan.
    Yeah this definitely feels different. I'm shocked this video flew under my radar back in 2021.
    To be fair, most things, even memes, and even the great ones from RUclips's infancy have flew under my radar... cuz no online privileges without supervision... even YT was under my radar even tho my brother had downloaded a bunch of anime AMVs.
    Nevertheless, God bless. These jokes make you think about the world just a little bit more.

  • @Starroid
    @Starroid 3 года назад +2

    As a christian myself i find this hilarious. Both jerod and chat are very clever with the gamer jesus jokes

  • @Gr4veM1nd
    @Gr4veM1nd 10 месяцев назад

    20 minutes and no one made a Christian Minecraft Server joke. I don't know whether to be ashamed or pleased.