Meanwhile… Eclipse Glasses Recall | New Jersey Beach Trash | Nutmobile Drivers Wanted
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- Опубликовано: 10 апр 2024
- Meanwhile… We might know why your eyes hurt after watching the eclipse, New Jersey beaches are littered with some strange discarded items, and the Planters Nutmobile is seeking skilled drivers for a cross-country tour.
#Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015. 
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Alligator intruder is called a Gator-Raid.
Yes you Did! jajaja
Well, at least it wasn’t a croc(k) 🐊
Very good!🤣
I thought that was what you sprayed them with to make then go away.
This comment and these replies made my morning 🙂
I skip the interviews, but I watch every Meanwhile.
I'm guilty of that, too, but I do watch the monologue.
Same here, I really don't care about celebrities life (celebrity worship); personal life should stay personal. With that said, I do enjoy Late shows, but always skip the interviews and rather enjoy the Meanwhile section of the show and opening monologue.
Agree..enjoy the monologue and Meanwhile.. occasionally I find a guest of interest to watch,( Bernie Sanders).
Get John Oliver,still to my knowledge no response since his comments about Princess of Wales..Never been my cup of tea .John Oliver that is..
Same, I don't even watch the show proper.
Same, but also love monologs
3:15 Well, I MAY have received an email from Amazon to tell me my eclipse glasses weren't safe, but I CAN'T SEE MY EMAIL.
That's a Lewis Black line if I've ever heard one.
Womp womp never trust Amazon
Estro-gin is complemented by Testoste-rum
That's just a recipe for Baby-leys
I drink it with my Testoster-roni, the real San Francisco treat.
Everything found on that beach in New Jersey is NOT what sunbathers leave behind, but what people on CRUISE SHIPS discard in waste baskets in their cabins but gets THROWN OVERBOARD by the maintenance detail before returning to Port!!! THIS has got to STOP!
No!!!!! Ughhhhh! That is awful!!!!! 😩
I have seen CRUISE SHIP STAFF throw bags of rubbish in the ocean very late at night
@@user-jk5ye7bd8q I live beachfront in Panama and I see the lights and hear the music from the cruise ships lined up across the horizon all night waiting to pass through the canal. Very nice but many mornings I gotta clean up the plastic cups and dishes and beer bottles and 20 pound trash bags washed up on the beach in front of the house. Troglodytes!
If that can be proven…it needs to be called out
I agree cruise ships do this, but is that garbage really their? I doubt it. First, there aren't as many that go by new jersey. Second, much of that garbage accumulates out at sea. The Atlantic doesn't have a patch like the pacific, but it still has one. So maybe some is, but I bet a lot is what is left behind.
who knows the sound of peeing in a cup: Every Nurse & many medical doctors.
It was a joke! Sheesh
Amazon workers, truck drivers, and wet work specialist....
@@misterflibble6601 not a very good one...... anyone who's been to the doctor for a physical knows the sound.....
Uhh, if you've ever filled a paper cup at a soda fountain or water fountain, it would sound the same...
now if the Planters nut mobile teams up with the Oscar Meyer weenier mobile you may have the ultimate meme
They should form a convoy and tour the nation, encouraging the consumption of wieners and nuts.
Peeing in a cup, don't give Spirit Airlines that idea😂
Nurses know the distinct sound of a man urinating in a cup, bottle or used cola container & can discern whether that containet is plastic, glass or metal.
They can also guesstimate within 30 ml of the correct amount.
It is part of the job description.
Could you say that once more - only slower this time? And would you mind calling me puddles?
All in contrast to a bed pan... 😏😉😎
Mr. Colbert, YOU are "like a topical ointment for the soul."
Thank you for the healing moments of humor you inject into the endless horrible news headlines. Thank you doubly for all your good and noble works 🙏🙏
I'm Helen and that's my alligator 🐊 who watches the Wheel with me. I want him back!! 😢😢
We're here for you, Helen. ❤❤❤
But can it complete the puzzles before you do?
@@raygunsforronnie847 "IT?" Well, if that ain't a croc. 🐊
How are you going to fine someone for peeing in a cup when you're not letting them leave or use the toilet?
The Roman Times!
he can hire a lawyer and sue the airline
I mean they COULD have just peed all over the seat, pants, shoes, carpet, etc.
According to the story released by the airline, they were delayed for 20 minutes. Twenty.
@@leapintothewild when you're old, that can be an eternity
Well, there are worse places to urinate when stuck in a line... like urinating NOT in a cup.
So true!😅😅😅
Those customers should avoid getting their Guide Dogs from Amazon.
Amazon sucks!
I've heard a kid pee into a bottle while at a movie theater because his dad didn't want to take him to the bathroom. It is indeed an unmistakable sound 😬
Hearing a stream of hard water hitting an enclosed surface with all that echo ... it's not tough to imagine such a sound.
Are you SURE he wasn’t making Starbucks green tea?
Seeing as humans can generally tell the relative temperature of water when it is poured into a container, this capability lends itself well to identifying urine hitting the inside of a cup, as most people are used to the sound of cold or room temperature water filling a container.
MAGA Dad.How despicable. To think there are people out there who want kids.
@@derekstein6193 Really? That makes me want to go pour different temperature water into cups to see if I can hear a difference LOL!
Florida really does have a squatter problem 🐊
😂 i wanna drive the nut mobile!!
I love hearing the band director laughing at Stephen.
"Snitches' Bramblesack of News"
This just in: Stephen's Meanwhile intros slay 👏
So I was under a rock? Love ❤️ from Australia 🇦🇺 P.S. That was the best Aussie accent I have ever heard and I hear it everyday, when I talk to myself.
I need a case of that Estro-gin immediately XD
😂🤣😂 you give me the best laughs Stephen Colbert ❤❤❤
THAT WAS HILARIOUS MEANWHILE 😂 😂😂😂😂😂OOHH MY GOODNESS STEPHEN COLBERT!!
One day I want the monologue to start backward. Stephen crafting the news scavenger' style and then waking up in the lap of luxury.
You know who has that much experience listening to other people peeing right next to them into containers? Soldiers, in combat vehicles, long patrols.
Truckers, with partners...
Urinalysis observers.
Thanks!!! 🤣. And I thought I was the only one while in Florida who had an alligator friend to watch the "Wheel of Fortune" with. I heard the confirmation that it's unhealthy to be alone 😢
I told a Floridian friend it was unhealthy for him to drink alone so much.
Come to think of it, I haven't heard from him in a while...
@@tsubadaikhan6332 Yup, I hear ya. I also read how the alligator population is exploding along side an article that the human population is reporting record proportions of loneliness. I mean go figure 🐝💪 🌅 🧘 Live Long and Prosper 🖖
Yeah, it was fine for a while. I just got tired of "Allie" drooling over Vanna. 😩
Therapy gator
Where can I get one?😮😮😮
Thank you for making me laugh 😆 I was feeling down so thank for making me feel better! ❤️🩹
"The Snitch's Bramble-Shack of News"
The whole intro today was epic, but man that had me deeeaaaddd.
"who has that much experience with the sound of peeing in a cup?" Women. Women do. You go in to the doctor with the flu, pee in a cup. Broken arm? Pee in a cup. Just gotta use the bathroom? Cup.
Doctors like making people do that, and then you get to pay the 20 dollar fee a month later
@@itzamiawe truly live in a strange world, don't we?
Amazon? Shocker! 😂
The paper cup urinal is better than peeing on the floor, eh? Give the guys creds for being courteous while under duress. When you gotta go and no place to go. 😉
Having never heard someone pee in a paper cup, I’m 100% positive I would immediately recognize the sound of peeing in a paper cup.
Team Colbert writers on🔥 🔥
"They found your eyelashes and fishnets....also if that was your jockstrap, you're not pregnant."
☺😀😂
Not so fast, Neil. You don't know everything, Mr. Know-It-All.
@@user-yn7yo1co3k 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The peanut comment was so eloquently crafted it made me truly bust out laughing instantly! 😂😂😂
Oh seriously, you had the perfect opportunity to add in the Oscar Meyer Weiner mobile into a joke with the peanut truck. Aaahhhh!
I’ll have an Estro Gin and Tonic 😂
Ahhhh, the drink of sexy cougars everywhere! 🤣
My friend and I once found a sonogram on the beach.
That Pregnancy Test on the New Jersey Beach. Was it positive or negative?
Asking for a friend...
Positive
😆
This is up there for the 'Best Meanwhile Ever' award! Wonderful writing and delivery! Kudos!
The horses got this old lady 😂
Crawford may have her own liquor brand, but it's no Cerveza Cristal.
Can this be the one that gets sent in for Emmy consideration 😂
Don't they have a pair of Nutmobiles follow the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile in formation? ;-P
It is so unnerving when Stephen does an Aussie accent. It has me looking around for my cousin.
Best meanwhile ever! Coffee out of my nose omg I laughed so hard
Yes. Good drivers, please. Many years ago, my friend Arne Hanson, who worked for AdBusters, no less, had his motorcycle busted when it was run over by the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile.
It's kind of weird that the Peanutmobile is going to be escorting Mr. Peanut's corpse, who supposedly died in 2020.
THANK YOU, we aren't going to just forget about the whole Baby Nut incident, Planters. This company just makes so many weird marketing choices.
I thought Mr. Peanut was killed off a few years back!!
Nah, hes back and anti histamine resistant baby!!
No, Vicki, not killed. He was assaulted. 🧂🧂🧂
@@user-yn7yo1co3k wasn't he thrown off of a cliff?
@@user-yn7yo1co3k anyways, I won't be applying for that job!🥜🥜🥜
He sneezed, and, said, "CaSHEW"!
Amazon needs to be broken apart if this is what they find acceptable to sell.
There are so many reasons Amazon should be broken up. Teddy Roosevelt would bring down the hammer on this outfit. One of the things they do is "vertical integration", where they use their dominance in one market to give themselves a competitive edge in another. Amazon manufactures many of the products that they sell in their dominant store platform, and they can of course use that platform to promote their own products ahead of competitors.
Every service tech or construction worker knows the sound of peeing in a cup or bottle. Truck drivers too. You know, real people
Stephen, that was a ripsnorting you beaut Aussie accent, cobber. Good onyah !
jajaja
Free pee? At least it takes your mind off various parts of the plane falling off.
Airlines need to start offering pee jugs like the truckers use.
I love the appreciation for reggae that the band is showing. The artist Is one of our best, Mr McGregor, a class act.
Yeah, the eclipse glasses was a ripe opportunity for scammers. That's why I just used the camera on my phone to watch.
I thought Mr. Peanut canonically died.
He expired
No, Gus, he was dry roasted.
He transitioned to a new phase as a jar of crunchy peanut butter.
@@jeepliving1 Jeep, that reply sticks to the roof of my mouth. 😄
When you heard an unmistakble sound of someone urinating in a cup ...ONCE.
Coming from the comments section of the same episode's monologue, was that the same Florida alligator that was fed METH?? lol
A mental ointment. What a thought!
My reaction to the airplane story: when u gotta go, you gotta GO! Was he just supposed to let it soak into his clothing??? I would think that the embarrassment of it all would have been a sufficient fine!
It gets better - and if not, there's always Estro-GIn!
Does it REALLY get better, Stephen?
Please tell me that it REALLY gets better!
Love AND longing from the Jersey Shore!
Purple drank and hog tie mafias lol. Intro is always epic
The Planter's Peanut mobile sure looks like a used Oscar Meyer's wiener mobile. 😅
A tired wiener mobile?
Meanwhile starts at 1:57
Thanks. Many of us appreciate the tip.
I want him to bring back the word, but I do love meanwhile 💖
What else would urinating in a cup sound like? It’s quite distinctive! (No, it wasn’t me.)
Meanwhile is my favorite segment
An australian accent during a joke about new zealand?
Close enough’s near enough. NZ is too hard for yanks
NZ accent isn't real. It's an Ozzie legend.
It was from a flight between New Zealand and Australia so he could have just as easily gone for either accent *shrugs*.
Dusk till dawn never disappoints
My first job was working at a jersey shore beach. A) All beaches should be free and owned by the state. B) I picked up easily 500 cigarette butts per day. The birds would eat them.
The cup got him caught. Next time, no cup.
Colbert: Who recognizes that sound?
Nurses everywhere: 🤫
Man... Wish I had 'Whack-a-mole' money.
-Something I never would have thought I'd ever say.
Did anyone else see the veins on the Nutmobile?! My goodness! LOL
Great Ending to your commentary ~ KUDOS! 👏👏👏👏
The connection from dropping a dime to snitch is impressive
The nutmobile and weinermobile should do a tour together 😂
🤣🤣🤣thank you Stephen!
I'm guessing the driver of the Peanutmobile can only gas up at... Shell?
😂
You know Stephen peanuts arent really a nut theyre a legume.
I missed that email because MY EYES HURT!
Estro-gin! Love it!❤❤❤😅😅😅
I wonder how Estro-Gin would have tasted like if he did in fact roll that out lol
I hope those meanwhile writers get a damn good salary. Those things are phenomenal
Eyes hurt from looking up at 45 degrees for 90 minutes.
"Underground Serbian hog-fight mafia" might be the funniest AND most disturbing sequence of words in the history of the English language.
as a baby, my mom told me I cried when I saw Mr.Peanut .lol
Stephen should release a male-focused chocolate bar called Testosterone (round instead of triangular). It’s got Nuts! 🥜
Testos-blerone ?
That stuff on the Jersey beach was my teenage years in the 70s! 😅😅😅 I live there now but too old to get pregnant! 😮😮😮Can i have my fishnets back now!
“Snitches Brambleshack of News”. Classic.
Mr. Peanut gets macabre.
0:15 thats some good a cappella
Best monologue ever! The part about 9 month plus abortions had me rolling on the floor!!
The “Meanwhile…” is amazing
No its not Helen, there's a Florida supreme court justice in my kitchen.
Yeah that Nutmobile was too ummm veiny 👀
Alright alright alright
Matthew, I knew it was you.
Didn't quite nail our Kiwi twang there but impressed that made the 'news'