#BrokenNews
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- Опубликовано: 30 июн 2024
- The Conservative Party plan to win back votes and voters has been revealed after "disappointing" recent election results.
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😍 We are powered and sustained by our viewers. If you'd like to support us and the work we do, pop here: ko-fi.com/larryandpaul
Thank you x
As a badly paid member of the NHS arse wipery I can only just afford to feed myself, (but at least I can afford the cold water to wash 👌😌), so I can send warm hugs if that helps 🤗 our pay rise was getting clapped a few years back 🎉 so I can clap to 👏 😊
the tories are powered by hot air!
I already do support you guys and have done for awhile with a small monthly subscription.
@@WildcraftBritain Your hugs and words are enough for us!xx
Thanks, @@andjc72. You are excellent x
Rishi Sunak said "I plan on delivering for the will of the British people" despite the people telling him at every possible opportunity that they don't want him or his nasty party to be in government ever again
Just a shame that the will of the British people is for him to bugger off to California....
I wish a journalist could confront him with this point live in tv.... using multiple recent polls as examples of the absolute fact that he is only speaking for the tory voting minority and NOT the Labour voting majority.
Lol everything he says or does is meaningless ..he. belongs in Broadmoor
In the case of Rishi, it's more like the won't of the people.
You lot do realise that red or blue they'll do whatever corporate bribe (lobby) them to do.. NONE OF THEM WORK FOR THE PUBLIC..... Even though they're supposed to be PUBLIC SERVANTS..
I blame Gerry Mandering.
He's ruined elections.
Philip Ustering does his bit too
@@janegreen9340
Very Good !
Gerry was a democrat from Massachusetts or Pennsylvania, I can't remember which state - but definitely a democrat... Just like good 'ol McCarthy was a democrat. 👏👏👏
@@daniellemurphy9755
Just like Trump was a democrat ?
@@daniellemurphy9755 Joseph McCarthy was a Republican U.S. Senator from 1947-1957. Gerrymandering was named after Governor Elbridge Gerry, whom later became Vice President under President James Madison. Considering that Gerry died in 1814 and the Democratic Party wasn't founded until 1828, he couldn't have been a Democrat.
Would be even funnier if the Tories weren’t actually fascists.
Only islamites are true facists..defined by their behaviour
I was just thinking that, this would have been really funny if it wasn't scareily true. Next idiotic bill from Sunak: selling weapons is moral.
The facists are pouring across the channel ..text while you still have time
And if labour wasn't equally as bad...
@@daniellemurphy9755 Spare us the Tory BS.
Sunak will be passing legislation which declares the Tories have won the next General Election......and that's it's safe to do so.
I thought the judiciary had always been part of the Conservative Party. Who's ever heard of a left-wing judge?
Part of the old Tory Establishment, to be sure. Perhaps not yet on board with the New Fascism. Or not all of them.
Apparently Braverman found 1 or 2.
Of lefty lawyers, who would not represent their grannies unless they were paid.
All terrifyingly plausible in our third-rate dystopia.
That Lord impression reminds me of Sean Lock's description of posh people: "A posh person looks like a normal person halfway through a sneeze."
Sean's wit is immortal.
Wonderful to see Sir Edwin again, much misunderstood, a lovely chap.
Thank you kindly
He does tell a lovely story.
What a lovely comment.
I wish them luck with that one no ones interested in tories anymore
This is probably prophetic.
Yup - please share!
leaving EHCR means they dont have to hold elections. and you wonder why they want the EHCR gone?
I don't think the Tories could win votes in a lottery let alone an election.
Is it, to stop being the worst examples of human beings walking the planet?
Or, just to persecute people?
I was finding this amusing until I suddenly found it hugely depressing, because these probably are the actual plans of the Conservative party
Voter ID doesn’t seem to have worked very well. They still lost despite eliminating all those people without passports or driving licenses.
Thousand year plan 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thank you! Please share! L&P x
Do you mean Reich?
How very dare you?
Like a Bene Gesserit breeding programme, which will one day produce a Tory Kwisatch Haderach.
@@MrMusicbyMartinThat name sounds awfully ‘foreign’. Do you think we can change ‘a Tory Kwikfit Hasselblad’ to something like ‘a Tory Kevin Harris’?
It plays much better to our moderate believers. We need to keep them on track or they’ll just start annexing Lidl again.
If Rishi went to Rwanda he would be voted First Past the Post in an election,because of all our money he has given them.
Glad the Eyebrows made an appearance... and Sir Edwin
This is happening for real with how you can be referred to prevent for being left wing
I do appreciate Rishi telling us that he's carrying out our wishes despite never having fucking asked us, and not listening when the question "what do you want?" receives a resounding "A GENERAL ELECTION NOW" response.
It's not their fault, it's our (the voters) fault, the Government keeps telling us what a wonderful job their doing and how the plan is working, we just don't understand the message and realise how well the Government is doing.
We the voters need to buck our ideas up and look at the wonderful things our Government has done, things such as reducing the tax on fresh air, abolishing the tax on left handed people and introducing the 'you pay us to work' scheme.
"the you pay us to work scheme"
Sort of sounds like income tax/NI.
Hilarious, but:
A) don't give them bloody ideas!!
B) let's not pretend it's something they haven't actually thought of
Bring back the birch... and ideally transportation to the colonies.
Speaking from a former colony - keep them, the local variety are terrible enough, we don't need the original brand.
@@IrritatedBird I apologise unreservedly to the people of Rwanda. There is no question they have suffered enough and do not deserve an influx of Tory ex-politicians seeking new lands to which to bring Trussenomics and other enlightened philosophies.
"..outside of THAT box..." 🤣🤣 Brilliant! By the way I hope we all remembered our ID to vote, you know, what with that epidemic voting fraud year in year out
Thank you! Please share! L&P x
I did. The first time
*cough* BoJo *cough*
LOL, that just about sums up what the current government would like to do, fortunately this is not 1933 so hopefully where all be ok.
Its the end of the Tories as we know it. 🎵🎶
And I feel fiiiiiiine!
Just a hiccup. Everyone hates the party in power after a few years, even themselves. If Labour last 14 years I’ll be amazed.
Rishi sunak must legislate Susan Hall as the winner of London Mayoral election
A good plan.
*Susan Boyle
KC The Tird wouldn't allow it.
Don't give them any ideas.
He did, but she left it ... sorry, I mean, someone pickpocketted her and stole the legislation.
"... under one National (united) Front".
Vladimir Putin: "That's what I've been advocating for years!"
Two Broken News sketches in one week? Larry & Paul, you are really spoiling us!
Our pleasure!
@@larryandpaul You should be banned ! Pleasure is banned!
Damn I almost regret voting for Beaufort four times, but he really does say it how it is.
Excellent....unfortunately.
Thank you! Please share! L&P x
I'd say Lord Beaufort is just waiting back for the decision on the grant for his silly walk...
Love the little head and shoulders wobble at the end.
I was half expecting Vanessa Phelps to be hosting Broken News now.
Might be Little Rish's next job?
Feltz?
I lost it when sir Edwin appeared. However, this is getting so close to the truth now.
Thank you! Please share! L&P x
Well if they outlawed all other parties then it certainly would make it easier to make up your mind at the ballot box. I've always been a bit indecisive. Yes, I think I'll support the measure.
Are you sure?
At last A news outlet you can trust👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋
1:54 Making this look every time a tory speaks should be illegal too! Too right chaps!
Yep I think we can expect more voter suppression and gerrymandering before the General Election to give the Tories their best opportunity to eliminate all entitlement to basic human rights and the need for any more elections, ever
Shouldn’t be given this extreme party ideas lads.
Oooopsth!!
The police should be given more powers to ensure people vote correctly 🇬🇧
Thanks guy for voting for me 😂😂😂
Don't put ideas into their dense little heads...
Sorry!
I could almost hear the sound of Jackboots in this news article?
I didn't want to laugh - because this is exactly what they are trying to do !
The natiomal united front had me in pieces!! Too good guys.
Thank you! Please share!
I feel like if the policies were presented this way, about a third of the country would nod their head and go ‘that seems sensible’
Rishi, do you ever deliver? "No. As a Hindu, I'm a vegetarian. I never do liver. Do you work in business?"
Very prophetic, what's to come for you if you elect them again. What is currently happening in the US.
That Lord Beaufort has let himself go.
Where can one vote to name Sir Edwin's makeup the most painful one for its bearer?
That is a great trimaran you have there, sailing so dangerously close to the wind, and the truth. You must be pretty high up on the Disappeared list. I hope I am, as well, otherwise my life has been wasted.
Maybe extend the Rwanda plan to include all labour voters?
I'm sure Rishi Washy gave this speech when George Galloway got elected.
is it lie repeatedly again?
Yup!
Lord Sir Edwin Beaufort is absolutely my favourite character, because he's exactly what I picture whenever anyone says "Tory". Funny that the word comes from the Irish toraithe, meaning robbers, isn't it?
Keep up the good work lads :)
Thank you! Please share!
@@larryandpaul Done! :)
Man pretending to be a democracy is hard it making it hard to get things done for the ruling class. You know the guys who own the country.
Am I the only person who, for a short moment, thought this was connected to the other broken news?
Those teeth and eyebrows will haunt my dreams tonight. Lovely story and will share 😁
Thank you! Please share! L&P x
Hail Caesar.
Or..... Hear me out here..... We could simply move all our dodgy politicians to Labour?
😂😂
Genius stuff.
Also, where is the outrage about the Tories turning the Union Jack into a tree?
What’s the incentive? £3000 and a house in Rwanda if you vote Tory?
Sounds like the Tories might have done a fact finding tour in Ukraine.
Force 12 off the Beaufort scale.
Will they also be encouraging more younger children into supporting there party, perhaps by rebranding the young conservatives. Maybe calling it something like the 'Sunak Youth' and giving them matching arm bands and brown shirts?
Seems like a good plan.
Excellent keep up with the brilliant content bestest from Scotland 👋👋👋
Thank you!
Vote out to help out. Vote Labour give them a chance we can always vote them out. 😅😅😅
Not too far from the truth
Bloody hell that was dialling it up to 11! Bravo.
Thank you! Please share! L&P x
@@larryandpaul Already did ;-)
Yoodabest.
One national unified front?
I feel like I've heard that somewhere before? 🤔
Sensible, measured and progressive policies for the good of the country.
Quite right. Please share.
They have had 14 wasted years to sort this problem😮
Don't put it past them!!
I'm not sure I should be laughing at that
Ideal!
@@larryandpaul I need my blanky and teddy
OMG, how did you find out their grand plan???? 🧐
We signed up!
@@larryandpaul 😂
I love it when we have the same scriptwriter
Do we?!
@@larryandpaulI don't know, but my first thought when seeing the thumbnail was just give one party to vote for!
The brown shirts reference may not hit home with UK viewers but I couldn't miss it, being the son of Dutch Jewish Holocaust survivors.
Oh, I think we get it! :)
I'd vote for them if they paid me........ one million dollars !
Simple, just listen to the people.
I was blown away by bouforte.
Recovery plan…? To recover from 13 years of Tory rule. Maybe elect another party? Just a thought.
Stick to the plan Sunak & keep driving the latest big red bus of tory nonsense straight towards the cliff edge. 😅
Oh how we laughed.
What a lovely story ❤. Thanks for keeping me up to date!
Thank you! Please share!
The tories to a T
Monty Python for the 21st century
Thank you! Please share! L&P x
hope this will not be a documentary soon
If only labour were any better...
They surely are, on account of not being worse?
@@larryandpaulGood argument; even though under Tory-Starmer there is no Labour Party.
Brilliant; sadly too near the truth.
Thank! Please share!
😂 Reporting live from the new township of Sensitive Nips. Because erogenous zoning is so much better than green zoning.
I mean, it's not out of the realms of plausibility though is it?
That old guy looks BUF!
Satire needs to be distinguishable from reality.
Sadly this is not satire but truth 😢
Irony at its best. 😊
Thank you! Please share! L&P x
“By being a fascist you lose your right to be called human being!”
Mehmet Murat ildan
_Don't give them ideas._
The only way, to truly have a democracy; is to have a 1 party solution. That way you can vote for them or not. 2 party etc.....Just confuses the working classes. Best to keep it simple. It's for the good of the country and them.
Wonder if Sangita Myska might join your team now that truth and honesty are a thing of the past on certain platforms.