I need to send this to several people I know. They don't understand the spectrum. I've tried explaining many times that you can't be "mildly" or "a little bit" autistic.
I have autism and adhd and my problem has always been having too much empathy. I used to cry for the world. I learnt to at least mask it. I am also a qualified counsellor.
Wouldn't have mattered to me... my mom was an alcoholic and covert narc. If I knew I was neurodivergent as a child, she surely would have exploited it to my fullest disadvantage at every opportunity presented to her.... she still makes it her life's mission to obliterate any joy or chance of it that she might somehow perceive. In me. Whether it's real or not. Finding out as an adult has given me the beneifit of her ignorance.. I am very grateful for that. 😊 I will never tell. Lol
I don't think it would have been good in my case. I had to learn social skills completely on my own because I didn't want to be withdrawn and alone any more. It was hard to develop those skills, but they really did help. At least I didn't mask a lot. I accepted the fact that I was different, and just handled things as best I could. As a young adult I knew when I had to remove myself from a situation, and didn't care whether my leaving "looked weird" or not.
I've noticed that ever since I came out of the autism closet, people who used to focus and comment on the things that I did right now only focus and comment on what I did wrong. WTFUDGE NUGGET?! 😳🤷🏾♀️
I'm a little more worried now actually. Because i struggle to show the appropriate emotional reactions to people when they expect certain things from me. Like getting a gift, or reacting to very good or very bad news. My reaction is just not intense enough to mirror them and I can see the imposition, confusion, offense, and disgust on thier faces when I can't preform. I dont think I'm a psychopath. But I am certified autistic.
A psychopath wouldn’t care about reacting appropriately. There’s no reason to be worried. But I get it. I was afraid of how I would react when someone dies or when I get a gift. I think my family accepts I’m not super emotional.
Hey peeps! Hope you enjoy this video, it will be available for ALL my members today but will go live for the public on Wednesday. Thank you for all your support this year
Your videos have been extremely helpful to me since my diagnosis. Thank you for doing what you do. Also, don't forget to take care of yourself in the new year!
This video is EXCELLENT! I truly needed a “primer” on Autism. I’ve been researching autism for myself (as a 74 year old high masking woman) and watching videos, reading articles, taking online tests. I hesitate to research whether I can receive medical testing and an official diagnosis due to my age. I hear it can take a very long time (years) and costs thousands $$$$. Besides, there are plenty of younger people who need testing before me. I’m going to continue my self study. Thank you for this fantastic video! 🙂
This is why I need an official diagnosis. I have cognitive problems. I also have sensory problems. In physical science we often grouped up to do assignments and I was always the one doing all the work. I enjoyed what I was doing so it didn't really bother me. I started masking in grade school to make friends and to get beaten-up less.
56:44 a lot of the things we do when we have a meltdown displays as childish manipulations. It’s sad when you can’t explain that you’re not just being a brat
Or when you’ve been trying your whole life to not be that way using typical solutions focused on “calming down” and “think about something else” instead of preventative solutions.
4:20 -(lol) - The spectrum is represented as a polar / pie chart diagram. It's better than a linear diagram because the magnitude of each impairment is represented relative to other factors. What's missing is a third axis for relationships / synnergies and positive traits / characteristics. Might have to get some 3D modeling software and model it as a sphere. You could then take slices or wedges or areas In other words, it's gonna take more than 2 dimensions to model the experience and expression of Monotropic traits in human beings. Even that will never fully capture it - A spectral map quantifying impairment and sensitivities and behavioral expression is not the territory of my autism. Not even close. But it's a start I suppose
Glad I ran across your video! I find it best to follow “spoon theory.” As an autistic person I find it hard to regulate emotions and they seem very intense at times. Wears me out. I try to go easier on myself (not be so self critical) now that I was diagnosed. A pet peeve? Sudden change of plans. With plenty of notice I can “psych” myself up for tasks, but if there is an unexpected change of plans that I can’t refuse or prepare for? Yikes! A few of those add up to a shutdown. Ah, well. Thanks for sharing so Much with us
Very wise words on the medical and the social models, honestly i think the same - being autistic to me is not a problem really, but i struggled with the mental health because of these fucked up shit that happenned to me. i mean i still struggle but at least i beat my depression 2 months ago (finally) so its better
I’m only thirteen minutes into the video but I’m struggling to accept I’m on the spectrum. I do have delayed processing which causes me to interrupt at inappropriate times and I recall a conversation from several months ago when this happened and someone was angry with me. I’m sixty-one years old and was never diagnosed with ASD. I’ve done online tests and scored high. I recognize my dad has traits too. Thanks for your videos. They really do help me understand ASD.
Also, I disagree that communication can't be an issue with other autistics. We're not all the same, and sometimes our communication styles clash and misunderstandings still happen. Like, I lived in a house where all five of us friends were definitely neurodivergent, diagnosed or retroactively self-identified as autistic, some of us ADHD, too. It was a disaster lol I don't talk to two of them anymore.
Thank you for this EXCELLENT video!!! It's probably the most comprehensive video outlining the real differences between neurotypes. I was diagnosed a couple years ago, and have lost my job due to discrimination. I, too, hope things get better for autistics soon. Thank you for all you do for the community!!!
My stim, well the biggest one, is absolute, flat out, having conversations with people who are not there. I have done this all my life, and I have only just realized it is a stim . I know it is not a psychosis because I am fully aware that no one is there. Anyone relate? It's like practicing future conversations.
I feel like selective mutism could be better described as situational mutism. Where a situation can lead to being nonverbal or severely reducing our communication abilities. Maintaining a level of articulation and comprehension requires a lot of mental effort, which is diminished by stress and or distractions. ❤️
I really like the graphs and visual information you are utilizing to illustrate your talking points. Great job. I’ve been watching your videos with more frequency and look forward to you covering a wide array of topics. Something I have pondered for a long time is thinking about people that are suffering the consequences of being overlooked/undiagnosed and also have incredibly difficult upbringing. With stable environmental factors being crucial to the stability of someone on the spectrum, it really ask the question how would that affect that person if a stable environment was not available. Keep making great content and keep making your audience think deeply about Neurodivergence.🎉
This was fantastic and covered the important aspects of autism from my personal experience. It's a complex topic and I like the way you broke it down by the major categories and bullet points. My brain LOVES bullet points! =)
Hello, I'm amab autistic and I just wanted to point out that masking for me was a very deliberate and carefully adjusted social technique. I'm sure I can't be alone in this respect. I really enjoyed the video, thank you!
@@ThomasHenley Thank you for your video. I found it to be one of the most comprehensive and thorough examinations of autistic culture and behavior that is available at this time.
It came to me really automatic and unfortunately I adjusted it to be as perfect as possible from young age so much so that I don't know who I am and probably never did
You are putting this video out at the perfect time thank you! This is assembling so much of my experience in a whole picture standpoint. I'm then able to identify, use the correct terminology and weave it with my own personal experience and script it to convey to people who I want to reveal my autism to. Many thanks to you for making this nearly comprehensive video!
Oh, I don’t like fluorescent lights too much. Used to bother me more as a teen and gave me a feeling of unreality. Weird. I guess that is a dissociative state? Like the world feels like a dream or something. Eerie feeling 😮
Hi Thomas, about so called lack of empathy, totally not true, too much empathy sometimes. I have from age 3 always struggles with anxiety. Every single day I must try to overcome the anxiety before I can go outside. Unhappily the NT's have always bullyied me and they still do up to this day. At least I have now the alarm systems with video cameras so that the burglars are not getting away if they burglar in my house! The last + - 20 years some individuals are shadowing me wherever I go. Probably figures who are obsessed with me, which is ridiculous!! Okay, it is what it is. Maybe they find me an interesting person, I have no idea!!! I hope that they enjoy seeing when I go to the groceries and when I go to my weekly meetings for people like me. Very interesting, surely😀😀😀
I wonder what kind of life those followers self have? If my groceries and meetings are so very interesting. I think that they have no life whatsoever themselves!!!
Thank you, Thomas, for a great video that explains so much about Level 1 Autism. I just subscribed to your channel and look forward to more of your videos!
It cannot be all negative, especially ASD. Most in common with gifted labeled people with traits that are the same but not considered negative or impairment in gifted people. No neurotypical ever says gifted people are somehow broken. We are part of neurodivergent communities even though it’s rarely mentioned except when a person is 2E, twice exceptional and even then, the gifted half of the label is not examined.
In novels written before the age of mass communication, people spoke in miniature essays. Conversants gave one another time and space and took time to digest what was said before replying. The conventions of Jane Austen's world were more like modern autistic conventions than the bumper-sticker throwing contests of modern neurotypicals. Since it is strictly inherited, the majority in that world could not have been autistic, but an A1 might have felt perfectly at home as far as conversation goes. How to converse seems to be a norm subject to change for NTs, but I think the Autistic/Austen style is at all times better for any serious discussion as well as for story-telling.
Recently found your channel and love your approach to these topics! Interestingly, the scientific definitions of cognitive vs adaptive empathy as stated in your video seem to match up with what is generally understood as empathy vs compassion, respectively. Seems interesting that autistics show high adaptive empathy (ie compassion) but low cognitive empathy. Makes me wonder whether it's even possibly to respond to someone's emotions without (at least subconsciously) recognizing what those emotions are - either directly or through indirect cues/systematic thinking...since many of us have spent loads of time/effort trying to intellectualize emotions and imagine how we would feel in others' situations, maybe we eventually learn the cognitive empathy skills (some sooner and/or easier than others) that allistics seem to just be born with. Could explain why autistics tend to score higher in cognitive empathy in adulthood than childhood. Anyone else have thoughts around this??
This is by far the best bloody video made with a holistic view of the matter. You have super powers my friend. Stay blessed and keep up the good brilliant awesome interesting comprehensive non-dramatised work you are doing. Sending you love from South Africa. You rock!!!!!!!
@@sandytaggart6947 why not? the whole point of what he was saying is that those disorders are ones that he doesn't believe there's positives of. While psychopathy isn't really a recognised medical term anymore, ASPD (the term it evolved into), sure is a condition it really sucks to live with, same as epilepsy and schizophrenia it makes sense for them to be included together in this context, unless you think that somehow people with ASPD are worse than you for... having a usually trauma-induced mental health disorder
All my 4 evals ive had from childhood age 7 to this year have diagnosed me as autistic, however life has caused many many more issues beyond just being autistic 'Short co-monologuing' is what ive been told is the 2-3 minutes of back n forth with longer pauses My younger stims came from artistic skating n omg they helped so much but i have overehelming fear related to skating n have been repeatly told by the person i remember being the cause of what made me so upset i stopped skating, that i dont remember it right that i never expressed dysphoria or was threatened to stop feeling that way or they would be institutionalized or that if i expressed that to therapists or teachers would be institutionalized and i remember skating being a source where i felt it could be the most freeing if i expressed self but also the most painful cuz believing how freeing expressing myself could be
About the stimming bit, I've noticed that I've been stimming all the time since i can remember(and im not playing when i say all the time), idk if it's justa me thing or if it's a sign but oh well
I was never really impressed with MJ. Time dilation makes me feel anxious and I don’t like my short term memory disappearing. It feels like an alcohol blackout to me 😮
I like to think of processing delays as my brain saying "Buffering... Please wait."
I need to send this to several people I know. They don't understand the spectrum. I've tried explaining many times that you can't be "mildly" or "a little bit" autistic.
I have autism and adhd and my problem has always been having too much empathy. I used to cry for the world. I learnt to at least mask it. I am also a qualified counsellor.
How do you deal with being a counsellor? It would drain me very quickly
I envy people who got diagnosed when they were kids. Wish we all could have. Would have made the world a place somewhat livable.
Wouldn't have mattered to me... my mom was an alcoholic and covert narc. If I knew I was neurodivergent as a child, she surely would have exploited it to my fullest disadvantage at every opportunity presented to her.... she still makes it her life's mission to obliterate any joy or chance of it that she might somehow perceive. In me. Whether it's real or not. Finding out as an adult has given me the beneifit of her ignorance.. I am very grateful for that. 😊 I will never tell. Lol
@@kellypawspa oh my can’t imagine having a mother like that. Hope you are doing well.
I don't think it would have been good in my case. I had to learn social skills completely on my own because I didn't want to be withdrawn and alone any more. It was hard to develop those skills, but they really did help. At least I didn't mask a lot. I accepted the fact that I was different, and just handled things as best I could. As a young adult I knew when I had to remove myself from a situation, and didn't care whether my leaving "looked weird" or not.
Intermittent mutism is perhaps a more precise and correct term than selective mutism.
Yes!
@@johnrice1943 hey guys what is selective mutism?
Y'all I got my eval results and I am autistic 🤯
congrats on your dx!!
Congrats 🎉welcome to the club... is it a club? 😂 For this moment, it is. ❤
Ayyyy congrats!
It is a bit mind-blowing at first, isn't it? I hope your diagnosis is as liberating and helpful for you as it has been for me!
Now try to sneak into New Zealand!!!!
I've noticed that ever since I came out of the autism closet, people who used to focus and comment on the things that I did right now only focus and comment on what I did wrong.
WTFUDGE NUGGET?! 😳🤷🏾♀️
I'm a little more worried now actually. Because i struggle to show the appropriate emotional reactions to people when they expect certain things from me. Like getting a gift, or reacting to very good or very bad news. My reaction is just not intense enough to mirror them and I can see the imposition, confusion, offense, and disgust on thier faces when I can't preform. I dont think I'm a psychopath. But I am certified autistic.
A psychopath wouldn’t care about reacting appropriately. There’s no reason to be worried. But I get it. I was afraid of how I would react when someone dies or when I get a gift. I think my family accepts I’m not super emotional.
Hey peeps! Hope you enjoy this video, it will be available for ALL my members today but will go live for the public on Wednesday. Thank you for all your support this year
Hi.
Thanks for the great work in 2023, looking forward to 24!
Your videos have been extremely helpful to me since my diagnosis. Thank you for doing what you do. Also, don't forget to take care of yourself in the new year!
This video is EXCELLENT! I truly needed a “primer” on Autism. I’ve been researching autism for myself (as a 74 year old high masking woman) and watching videos, reading articles, taking online tests. I hesitate to research whether I can receive medical testing and an official diagnosis due to my age. I hear it can take a very long time (years) and costs thousands $$$$. Besides, there are plenty of younger people who need testing before me. I’m going to continue my self study. Thank you for this fantastic video! 🙂
This is why I need an official diagnosis. I have cognitive problems. I also have sensory problems. In physical science we often grouped up to do assignments and I was always the one doing all the work. I enjoyed what I was doing so it didn't really bother me. I started masking in grade school to make friends and to get beaten-up less.
56:44 a lot of the things we do when we have a meltdown displays as childish manipulations. It’s sad when you can’t explain that you’re not just being a brat
Or when you’ve been trying your whole life to not be that way using typical solutions focused on “calming down” and “think about something else” instead of preventative solutions.
4:20 -(lol) - The spectrum is represented as a polar / pie chart diagram. It's better than a linear diagram because the magnitude of each impairment is represented relative to other factors. What's missing is a third axis for relationships / synnergies and positive traits / characteristics. Might have to get some 3D modeling software and model it as a sphere. You could then take slices or wedges or areas
In other words, it's gonna take more than 2 dimensions to model the experience and expression of Monotropic traits in human beings. Even that will never fully capture it -
A spectral map quantifying impairment and sensitivities and behavioral expression is not the territory of my autism.
Not even close. But it's a start I suppose
Glad I ran across your video! I find it best to follow “spoon theory.” As an autistic person I find it hard to regulate emotions and they seem very intense at times. Wears me out. I try to go easier on myself (not be so self critical) now that I was diagnosed. A pet peeve? Sudden change of plans. With plenty of notice I can “psych” myself up for tasks, but if there is an unexpected change of plans that I can’t refuse or prepare for? Yikes! A few of those add up to a shutdown. Ah, well. Thanks for sharing so
Much with us
Very wise words on the medical and the social models, honestly i think the same - being autistic to me is not a problem really, but i struggled with the mental health because of these fucked up shit that happenned to me. i mean i still struggle but at least i beat my depression 2 months ago (finally) so its better
I’m only thirteen minutes into the video but I’m struggling to accept I’m on the spectrum. I do have delayed processing which causes me to interrupt at inappropriate times and I recall a conversation from several months ago when this happened and someone was angry with me. I’m sixty-one years old and was never diagnosed with ASD. I’ve done online tests and scored high. I recognize my dad has traits too. Thanks for your videos. They really do help me understand ASD.
Also, I disagree that communication can't be an issue with other autistics. We're not all the same, and sometimes our communication styles clash and misunderstandings still happen. Like, I lived in a house where all five of us friends were definitely neurodivergent, diagnosed or retroactively self-identified as autistic, some of us ADHD, too. It was a disaster lol I don't talk to two of them anymore.
Thank you for this EXCELLENT video!!! It's probably the most comprehensive video outlining the real differences between neurotypes. I was diagnosed a couple years ago, and have lost my job due to discrimination. I, too, hope things get better for autistics soon. Thank you for all you do for the community!!!
My stim, well the biggest one, is absolute, flat out, having conversations with people who are not there. I have done this all my life, and I have only just realized it is a stim . I know it is not a psychosis because I am fully aware that no one is there. Anyone relate? It's like practicing future conversations.
I feel like selective mutism could be better described as situational mutism. Where a situation can lead to being nonverbal or severely reducing our communication abilities. Maintaining a level of articulation and comprehension requires a lot of mental effort, which is diminished by stress and or distractions. ❤️
I really like the graphs and visual information you are utilizing to illustrate your talking points. Great job. I’ve been watching your videos with more frequency and look forward to you covering a wide array of topics.
Something I have pondered for a long time is thinking about people that are suffering the consequences of being overlooked/undiagnosed and also have incredibly difficult upbringing. With stable environmental factors being crucial to the stability of someone on the spectrum, it really ask the question how would that affect that person if a stable environment was not available. Keep making great content and keep making your audience think deeply about Neurodivergence.🎉
This was fantastic and covered the important aspects of autism from my personal experience. It's a complex topic and I like the way you broke it down by the major categories and bullet points. My brain LOVES bullet points! =)
Hello, I'm amab autistic and I just wanted to point out that masking for me was a very deliberate and carefully adjusted social technique. I'm sure I can't be alone in this respect. I really enjoyed the video, thank you!
Thank you for sharing your experience!
@@ThomasHenley Thank you for your video. I found it to be one of the most comprehensive and thorough examinations of autistic culture and behavior that is available at this time.
It came to me really automatic and unfortunately I adjusted it to be as perfect as possible from young age so much so that I don't know who I am and probably never did
You are putting this video out at the perfect time thank you!
This is assembling so much of my experience in a whole picture standpoint.
I'm then able to identify, use the correct terminology and weave it with my own personal experience and script it to convey to people who I want to reveal my autism to.
Many thanks to you for making this nearly comprehensive video!
Oh, I don’t like fluorescent lights too much. Used to bother me more as a teen and gave me a feeling of unreality. Weird. I guess that is a dissociative state? Like the world feels like a dream or something. Eerie feeling 😮
Hi Thomas, about so called lack of empathy, totally not true, too much empathy sometimes.
I have from age 3 always struggles with anxiety. Every single day I must try to overcome the anxiety before I can go outside. Unhappily the NT's have always bullyied me and they still do up to this day. At least I have now the alarm systems with video cameras so that the burglars are not getting away if they burglar in my house!
The last + - 20 years some individuals are shadowing me wherever I go. Probably figures who are obsessed with me, which is ridiculous!! Okay, it is what it is. Maybe they find me an interesting person, I have no idea!!! I hope that they enjoy seeing when I go to the groceries and when I go to my weekly meetings for people like me. Very interesting, surely😀😀😀
They will have a top day tomorrow, I am going to the dentist!! Very, very interesting for those obsessed followers! 😯🦷🦷🦷🧑⚕️🧑🔬🧑⚕️🦷🦷😸
I wonder what kind of life those followers self have? If my groceries and meetings are so very interesting. I think that they have no life whatsoever themselves!!!
I loved creative play when I was a kid too. Still do.
I watched the whole thing. As someone on the spectrum, I think it was good presentation.
Thank you, Thomas, for a great video that explains so much about Level 1 Autism. I just subscribed to your channel and look forward to more of your videos!
It's striking how the written word never comes up when discussing "nonverbal communication".
It cannot be all negative, especially ASD. Most in common with gifted labeled people with traits that are the same but not considered negative or impairment in gifted people. No neurotypical ever says gifted people are somehow broken. We are part of neurodivergent communities even though it’s rarely mentioned except when a person is 2E, twice exceptional and even then, the gifted half of the label is not examined.
Thank you so much for everything! You have saved my life Thank you ❤
we must just be ourselves ,if others do not like us then to hell with them !
Appreciate all the similes and metaphors you used in your descriptions
Okay back a month later and watching more of it than last time. Procrastinating an assignment lol
In novels written before the age of mass communication, people spoke in miniature essays. Conversants gave one another time and space and took time to digest what was said before replying. The conventions of Jane Austen's world were more like modern autistic conventions than the bumper-sticker throwing contests of modern neurotypicals. Since it is strictly inherited, the majority in that world could not have been autistic, but an A1 might have felt perfectly at home as far as conversation goes. How to converse seems to be a norm subject to change for NTs, but I think the Autistic/Austen style is at all times better for any serious discussion as well as for story-telling.
Recently found your channel and love your approach to these topics!
Interestingly, the scientific definitions of cognitive vs adaptive empathy as stated in your video seem to match up with what is generally understood as empathy vs compassion, respectively. Seems interesting that autistics show high adaptive empathy (ie compassion) but low cognitive empathy.
Makes me wonder whether it's even possibly to respond to someone's emotions without (at least subconsciously) recognizing what those emotions are - either directly or through indirect cues/systematic thinking...since many of us have spent loads of time/effort trying to intellectualize emotions and imagine how we would feel in others' situations, maybe we eventually learn the cognitive empathy skills (some sooner and/or easier than others) that allistics seem to just be born with. Could explain why autistics tend to score higher in cognitive empathy in adulthood than childhood.
Anyone else have thoughts around this??
Thank you for this channel. U do an amazing job and it has helped me so much. 💚🔆
You're doing a good job man, thank you for clearing up the stigma and showing us in a light that isn't this charicture
Amazing video. It’s given me a lot to think about, time for a chat with my GP I think. Thank you 🙏
I’m glad it was helpful! Defo consult a professional if you are thinking you might be autistic. Dr. Megan Neff is a good shout in my opinion
This is by far the best bloody video made with a holistic view of the matter. You have super powers my friend. Stay blessed and keep up the good brilliant awesome interesting comprehensive non-dramatised work you are doing. Sending you love from South Africa. You rock!!!!!!!
Thank you.
Loved 97.5% of it. But at the end.... Please try to rethink lumping psychopathy with epilepsy. 😬 Other than that, really great!
@@sandytaggart6947 why not? the whole point of what he was saying is that those disorders are ones that he doesn't believe there's positives of. While psychopathy isn't really a recognised medical term anymore, ASPD (the term it evolved into), sure is a condition it really sucks to live with, same as epilepsy and schizophrenia
it makes sense for them to be included together in this context, unless you think that somehow people with ASPD are worse than you for... having a usually trauma-induced mental health disorder
This is so helpful, but I'm noticing that I can't play it on background. Is that feature disabled for these member vids?
Im really glad! I think RUclips stopped that feature unless you buy premium membership. Is it only on this video for you?
Buy premium
You can now. For free.
@thomashenley it's working now. 💪🏾
@turtleanton6539 I have premium. Just a weird thing that happened. 🤷🏾♂️
Your videos are awesome and I love the energy you give out, very soothing
I appreciate you 🎊✨✨✨💛
Excellent video. Very clear and informative.
Fantastic 'all in' video which is difficult to quantify and sum up in one hour. I think you did a good job!!
Thanks so much! It’s defo not everything, but if it was it would be week long! 😅
Great video- thank you!
I’m glad you found it helpful! 😄
This is great.
All my 4 evals ive had from childhood age 7 to this year have diagnosed me as autistic, however life has caused many many more issues beyond just being autistic
'Short co-monologuing' is what ive been told is the 2-3 minutes of back n forth with longer pauses
My younger stims came from artistic skating n omg they helped so much but i have overehelming fear related to skating n have been repeatly told by the person i remember being the cause of what made me so upset i stopped skating, that i dont remember it right that i never expressed dysphoria or was threatened to stop feeling that way or they would be institutionalized or that if i expressed that to therapists or teachers would be institutionalized and i remember skating being a source where i felt it could be the most freeing if i expressed self but also the most painful cuz believing how freeing expressing myself could be
About the stimming bit, I've noticed that I've been stimming all the time since i can remember(and im not playing when i say all the time), idk if it's justa me thing or if it's a sign but oh well
27:45 omg my bf thinks I’m super egotistical but he doesn’t understand that I just need certain things
I was never really impressed with MJ. Time dilation makes me feel anxious and I don’t like my short term memory disappearing. It feels like an alcohol blackout to me 😮