Full Class About Disagreeing Appropriately
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- Опубликовано: 26 июн 2024
- Knowing how to disagree appropriately is such a powerful way to solve problems and avoid power struggles for all ages! Watch this full class about disagreeing appropriately to learn everything you need to know to master this important skill for success!
Watch and Enjoy!
Nicholeen Peck
Teaching Self-Government
Key Moments in this Episode
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00:00 Intro & Summary
00:55 My Experiences As A Strong-Willed Child
04:58 What Happens When Someone Doesn't Disagree Appropriately
07:50 How I Taught Troubled Teens To Disagree Appropriately
09:28 What Is Self-Government?
11:04 4 Basic Skills For Success
11:53 How To Avoid Power Struggles & Solve Problems By Disagreeing Appropriately
16:11 How My Children Learned To Solve Problems By Disagreeing Appropriately
17:59 Importance Of Maintaining Eye Contact & Calmness
19:50 How To Disagree & Explain Your Point Of View
21:09 How To Teach Children To Disagree Appropriately
22:33 How Disagreeing Appropriately Honors Roles
24:45 How Disagreeing Appropriately Shifts Your Brain
27:12 How Disagreeing Appropriately Encourages Describing vs. Reacting
28:07 How Disagreeing Appropriately Leads Back To Family Visions
30:20 How Disagreeing Appropriately Takes Time
33:17 The Power Of Disagreeing Appropriately
34:49 Learn More About Calm Parenting
What To Watch Next
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The Not-So-Known Secret To Parenting Success (Full Class)
• The Not-So-Known Secre...
Resources
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Get our Calm Parenting Toolkit here:
teachselfgov.com/toolkit
Learn more about us here:
teachingselfgovernment.com/about
Check out our upcoming events here:
teachingselfgovernment.com/ev...
About Nicholeen Peck
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Despite your best efforts at raising children, is your family dysfunctional? Do your children set the rules and have control of your home instead of you? Are you looking for parenting skills that will help you create a united, happy family?
Then meet Nicholeen Peck, one of the world’s most effective parenting experts. Whether you want to fix child behavioral issues, create more unity in the home, or simply strengthen your family relationships, her proven system - Teaching Self-Government - can help you turn chaos into calm.
"People are starving for help to save their families," says Nicholeen.
Since 1999, her seminars, workshops, one-on-one training sessions, parenting videos and books have helped thousands of families worldwide regain peace, be happy and maintain unity in their home. The secret? Learning how to use effective family systems based on parenting that’s deliberate and pro-active (instead of reactive). It all starts with the principles of self-government. If you’re a family of faith, you’ll especially love how your faith and values can be woven into her parenting system.
In 2009, Nicholeen and her husband starred in the BBC reality TV show, “The World’s Strictest Parents”. She became an overnight sensation by turning around two out-of-control teenagers from England after just one week - without shouting, threats or manipulation. Her amazing success comes from the positive parenting techniques of using calmness, effective communication and principles of self-government.
Nicholeen Peck’s Accomplishments
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* Author of “Parenting: A House United,” “Popular Parenting Methods: Are They Really Working?,” “Roles: The Secret to Family, Business, and Social Success” and many other books and magazine articles.
* President of The Worldwide Organization for Women (WOW).
* Nicholeen regularly speaks at the United Nations and other congresses around the world as an advocate for strengthening families and motherhood.
* In 2009 her family was featured on the BBC reality show, “The World’s Strictest Parents.
* Trained as a foster parent for Utah Youth Village.
* Has parented many troubled foster children.
* Successfully raised (and raising) four children of her own.
Testimonials
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“Her loving parenting techniques work with ALL children.”
Kristi, www.thankfulme.blogspot.com
“Thank you for your insights and solutions. They have helped my family so much.”
Michelle
“My husband and I have started implementing some of your techniques, and our house has been so different!”
Julianne
“I feel that my children respect me more. I will be eternally grateful for what I have learned from Nicholeen Peck.”
Michelle Baker
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Nate Woodbury - RUclips Producer
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Dear Nicholeen
Your channel is definitely way way underrated. I think everywhere should be using your train of thoughts to guide our future generation. Thank you so much for sharing such useful resources to us. Really appreciated. You are really awesome. Thanks a million. 😊🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you! I have been watching your videos lately and they are very helpful! I wrote all the steps of 'correcting' and 'following instructions' on a paper on my kitchen cabinet and started implementing them already. I don't know who is learning more, me or my children :). I am now thinking of a good way to say 'may I disagree appropiatly' in our language...
You're welcome! I'm so glad to hear about the implementation happening in your home!
Hi Marie-Louise! I read your comment and your name and was so excited that someone who seems to be European also practices self-government in their family! We live in Germany and have started this journey with our son a few weeks ago. I would love to get to know you and hear about your experience/stories. If you're interested, please comment :) God bless!
My son with ODD will not accept the word no, so he battles us all of the time.
I absolutely love this and all the concepts of teaching self government. I wish I knew this when I was raising my kids in the 80s and 90s. So refreshing and loving 🥰
I'm so glad! Right? Lots of people tell me that. :)
Thank you for making your teachings available to all of us. Much love and respect to you❤
15:51 what are the types of Situations in my family that I see children going out of control. For the most part it is arguments amongst themselves. She hit me, she took that, she looked at me rude. He is rude. I think it's a lot of power struggles between siblings.
I Have listened to you for a little while now, and I love it! I have 7 children and I feel I like I'm still in the beginning stages of motherhood. Thank you so much for offering hope.❤
7 kids 😮 I have 2 kids with my wife and we take care of her 2 nieces so I have 4 all together and feel overwhelmed at times lol Good luck on your parenting journey! Wish ya the best 🙂
You're very welcome! It sounds like you're doing lots of good analysis and seeing things that need to change, but don't quite have the skills to do it. I've got you! I definitely recommend the Calm Parenting Toolkit and the online TSG Parenting Course. Here are the links for those:
teachingselfgovernment.com/calm-parenting-toolkit/
teachingselfgovernment.com/tsg-parenting-course/
I hope this helps!
I've found your videos 2 weeks ago, I've watched many of them, I'm currently listening to the audiobook (I'm located in Europe and can't get the paper version easily). Everything you do is treasure! I've prayed for something like this! I've already applied the first skill (Following instructions), because I couldn't wait, it's making many things at home different. Thank you very much!
Thank you for always sharing ❤
You're most welcome!
I don’t understand how exactly can I teach my 7yo to drop the subject 🤔 I need some more examples with smaller kids ❤
Something that my daughter does for her toddler is to explain what dropping the subject looks like (action items). Dropping the subject means:
- We walk away from something that we've been told not to do/interact with.
- We don't talk about it anymore (unless we disagree appropriately).
- We take a deep breath and choose to be okay with the "no" answer.
Sometimes a quick reminder of these things helps, especially when a young person momentarily forgets about dropping the subject.
I hope that helps!
Thanks for sharing. I think you need to re edit the description on your channel... It has some typos. Didn't know where else to notify you😅
Thank you! I just took care of it. It should be better now. :)
Hi Nicholeen, thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and skills. I was just trying to order books, posters, cue cards, etc, from your online store, however, I'm not in the U.S.. The postage was more than $150. Is there any way to get the postage costs down?
Thank you for asking. This is a perfect question for Richard, my IT and website manager. You can contact him at support@teachingselfgovernment.com
I hope this helps!
Nicholeen, do you have any resources or advice for when your children get angrier when you try to help them self regulate? Whether its before a discussion or not, the calming down part is really hard for my daughter, and I understand how frustrating it is to have someone compell you to come on and be calm already when you dont feel you are ready, lord knows as a woman I have been there. But I also am able to tell when I need to calm down, and I can self regulate. My kiddo is only 6, she cannot, and she desperately needs help getting back to homeostasis but she hates the process of relaxation I try to help her through. I try to step back thinking I'm maybe too pushy with it but the only version of calming down she wants is one without me there at all. Is it fine to let them do it themselves every time, like calm down alone in a room? Because I thought they need to learn proper regulation skills from someone else or they wont be getting themselves to calm down properly. I also understanding wanting to be alone though. Can these things coexist? Thanks
Xxx
I realize that I have been unconsciously trying to explain this skill to my mom. There is no end to the pushing if she doesn’t get her way.
In my version, I’ve said generally if pushing 3 times doesn’t change the person’s mind, drop it and move on. And that most times you shouldn’t even get to 3 times, that’s a last resort if it’s super important to you.
For adult interactions where theoretically a disagreement could be more critical, would you still always say drop it and be okay after one appropriate disagreement?
I'd love to go more in depth on this question! Since my response would be too long to type out here, I've added your question to the list of questions I'm going to answer on my Support Call this Wednesday (October 18, 2023) morning at 8am Mountain time. If you'd like to be present for the answer and discuss it with me and have access to it after the call is done, here's a link for you:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope to hear from you!
How can I disagree with my teen who is very manipulative and physically threatening if things don’t go his way? Troubled kid not motivated for school but highly dependent on weeds.