I never comment on these videos. I have been watching these for years. I am turning 18 and have always struggled with my body image. Even when I was a size six I was convinced I was obese. This has affected friendships and relationships. Out of all these podcasts, this one has really touched me. Thank you for discussing these issues and normalising them. By following these vlogs for years, I always think of you guys like my auntie and uncle. Thanks a lot guys for being a big part of my teenage years x
dolly ray this channel u find u can open up to people & it does help there r sum lovely genuine real people about that r here to listen 👂 & talk 2 🤗🤗🤗xx
When I look at you both I see two good-looking, successful and understanding people. From the outside you seem very blessed which you are. But I suppose you can have everything but nothing if you do have mental health issues. I love how honest you both are and these talks relate to all walks of life many thanks
Thank you both for this, my body image affects my relationship a lot for a lot of the reasons you’ve mentioned. Listening to you talk to each other has helped me realise the problem is with what I think about me, not what other people are or actually aren’t thinking! You are both gorgeous! ❤️
I know you won’t see this as it’s a late comment but I have watched EVERYTHING you’ve done from day one - this film said it all. I cried on both your and my behalf, I smiled at the poignant reminisces, I championed your childhood memories. I thank you you for every shared moment and heartfelt offering. From an early and dedicated sub - thank you. xxx🥰💖😘 Wow!!! xxx
I think some people are born confident!! And never worry about their bodies , others are shy and insecure how they feel about their self image 🤩🤗 as we age there are very few people that are in shape and thats normal , it’s about being happy.😁
Connie H once uv ad a baby 🍼 I fink your body goes south lol 😂 men never look at u the same as u get stretch marks & cellulite . I’m now very shy bout my body & there’s only me 🥺🥺🥺xx
When I was 16 years old, my first serious boyfriend suddenly said (out of the blue and when I least expected it), "You've got wide hips, haven't you?". I weighed just over 7 stone and was 5' 4". I was very slim. But it was so hurtful, and it made me self conscious of my body from the moment he said it to the present day. I'm always worrying about my hips, which is silly (plus a million other body parts too!). He was quite a controlling person, and he would often make remarks about my appearance here and there. The trouble is, even though the rational part of my brain knows that he was just trying to undermine my self esteem and confidence, I still deal with the damaging emotions and terrible body image it has left me with to this day.
I've always struggled my whole life with my body image. I was a size 8 to 10 well into my 20's but thought I was huge. Now I'm 39 and a size 16 but I don't hate myself as much as I did then. Funny how maturity helps isn't it. I do know I need to lose 2 or 3 stone but it's more of a health thing now. Actually physically very like you Nadia! X
Mark you so hard on yourself,don’t undermine yourself by believing those wrong thoughts.Its like taking off the old coat,and putting on a new one.Listen to Nadia,she’s so right what she says about you and all the advice she gives.Mark let yourself live.Your intelligent,gifted,handsome and an amazing young man 😀
This almost made me cry... I’m 53 years old and only just realised I’ve never picked a partner that I fancied or even thought to look for one. I’ve always landed up with someone that liked Me; and I know it’s because I thought I couldn’t do better - and like you, Nadia, I used to be 36 24 36. I wish I could take the brain I’ve earned over the years back in time and put it into my younger head. I’ve spent most of my life watching others live because I wasn’t brave enough, pretty enough or confident enough to join in.
Much of this paranoia and insecurity begins so early on. I think if we all had a personal therapist at the start of school age and throughout, we would steer through better and iron these issues before they embedded their negativity into ourselves. We carry so much into our maturer years without having had the tools to zoom out or understand them. Great discussion you both gave, very well aired and useful for many.
Den James I fink schools shud do more for children like metal health after school classes . As like most kids they leave school go out into the wild world with no clue what so ever if life . Then everything cums cashing down round them I know as my daughter stuffers now & down the line looking back I was like that plus other people I knew 🥺🥺🥺x
I find it so sweet how much Mark fancies Nadia so completely. So lovely. My husband is like that too but I have lots of stinking thinking about my body, even though at 48 I’m the same weight as I was at 18! I exercise, eat well, intermittent fast but still don’t quite feel ‘good enough’ 😒😔
Saskia Guy you sound like u got a lovely 😊 husband that finks the world about u there’s not many women out there that can prob say that . I fink u r half way there just take each day as it cums 😊😊xx
That was a very honest & true conversation about yourselves & how ye see each other and if everyone was to be honest with themselves they are the exact same, people think the grass is always greener on the other side when in fact no one knows what's going on behind closed doors. Loved this chat fair play to ye both, thanks very much. If everyone was to be honest & less pass remarkable we'd all be in a better place
This is so refreshing and has really helped me to identify some of my own body image problems...thank you. My primary addiction was with food - which has manifested into alcoholism. 12 years in recovery from alcoholism but still have lots of work to do around food/body issues. Lack of self esteem can be crippling but you will help so many people by talking so honestly about your own journeys. Xx 👍💛
Thank u for a honest & brave podcast .. a subject close to my heart but in some ways a subject I can’t bare to discuss or try & work out . Suffering from anorexia from a very young age & the way I treat my body & punish myself isn’t right but over the years I’ve realised that body dysmorphia has had a big part to play in all of this . I continue to get help for my eating disorder & nothing I wish more is to be that confident person in their own skin , not caring what the reflection in the mirror is saying but a happy person from the inside out... Following u guys for about a year now & wanted to say thank u for that constant security & warmth from your channel . Means more than u probably realise 💕 x
Going up and down in weight my entire life, I too am damaged by comments about from childhood and present day. I would never comment on someone’s appearance. Even throw away remarks can be so damaging. I look at you both and I see two beautiful successful people both inside and out. I have such hatred of my body covered in psoriasis. I feel repulsive to others in every way and I would do anything not to suffer from this disease. xx
Marcia Toms just reading what u put upsets me I feel for u . Just keep telling yourself u r a beautiful person inside & out to hell with peoples shittie comments there r sum spiteful people out there & I alway say why there avin ago at sum 1 they r leaving another person alone . Mayb they r spiteful cos they r not happy with there own life’s . Just take a breath & face each day as it cums 🤗🤗🤗🤗xx
What an extremely powerful and honest talk. I was absolutely engulfed by it all. I can relate to so much of what Nadia said and I honestly felt for you Mark, anxiety, Depression and lack of body confidence is so common. I too have felt this for years, since I waa s in the upper primary school. It has ruled my life and ruined many years that I will never get back again. I am trying really hard now and it is so good to be able to talk about it with those in the same position. Heartrfelt thanks to you both xx
Great chat!!!!! At this stage I’m glad I have two arms and two legs and they somewhat work I’ve parked and left behind all the other anxiety of does my bum look too big ... etc etc Life is over in the blink of an eye and should be enjoyed wholly with no regrets and overthought We would be so much wiser to indulge in our talents and things that enhance this experience x
I adore you both; your sincerity, your perspective and your ability to articulate some things that, although i’m feeling it too, i don’t have the words to describe. I’ve struggled with a body dysmorphic mindset since I was about 13 (nearly 21 now), and although I have definitely grown in perspective and development in liking and accepting myself, it still is a daily struggle and I grow ever more tired and frustrated over the tedious mirror checking after every meal or constantly analysing how people see me. But listening to you both talk about this so openly and bravely, it gives me strength and hope that this is something I can work on. Keep talking about these things xx
Sorry for watching this late but I like to leave comments after everyone else has gone anyway lol. So refreshing to hear you two discuss this and for you to go back to the past and teach us what you’ve learnt. It’s also been refreshing to hear Mark as a male perspective on body insecurity. I always downplay men feeling insecure or caring what women think. When Mark was speaking about his ex touching his stomach and implying he’d put on weight. I’ve had similar experiences from men and it’s stayed with me all these years. If I’d have been more secure I’d have laughed off a comment, or teased back, but sometimes, in a weakened state of mind, you internalise the comments and it becomes another negative thought and becomes part of ‘stinking thinking,’ I find it funny how you both think so highly of the other, but you find it hard to accept each other’s compliments You need to really listen to how the other views you because that’s the only person who you want to see you naked. Their opinion is what counts. You both need to give yourselves so much credit. It’s shocking to hear how down on yourselves you can be. Regardless of age (which is just a number and doesn’t mean anything, anyway) you’re both fanciable when you were young and fanciable now. That’s most than the majority of people are. Most people are never fancied except by their partners. Being fanciable isn’t solely on looks, is always about the entire package; it’s so attractive to be open and vulnerable, to share, and to help others. That means more than a ‘perfect’ Instagram picture. The people who look highly of someone because they look perfect, with no imperfections are non existent. In fact, you’re more likely to be called smug and attract jealousy. The most secure people don’t mind if they have a double chin in a picture, or if they look a little tired, they just don’t care. Obviously anonymous trolls and social media is awful because those people prey on insecurity, they prey on imperfections, and they don’t want you to feel happy. That’s why Nadia not giving a f about being naked is so empowering. It’s a big middle finger uP to the trolls who want to criticise. Nadia was so right about the way we look at old pictures where we looked slim and we think bad to how mentally unwell we felt at the time. People judge us as ‘oh they must be happy look how slim they are’ but sometimes when we take too much care of our body, we’re masking the mental health issues and trying to gain control of how bad we feel inside. Sorry to bring up Caroline Flack but she is the prime example of having the perfect Instagram life and people assuming she has the world at her feet. This is partly why she was so misjudged. She’s human like the rest of us but people misleadingly believed she didn’t have weaknesses or wasn’t fallible like we all are. People are just so used to making assumptions based on appearances. I’m usually at my slimmest/get the most compliments when I’ve got bad anxiety. When I have anxiety my stomach produces acid, and my appetite completely goes. I wake up and even brushing my teeth makes me retch and gag. It doesn’t make me feel good when people tell me I look slim or I’ve lost weight because I know the truth behind that weight loss, but it appears like I should smile and take it as a compliment (how screwed up is that?’ We should never comment on a person’s figure even if we feel we are being kind. We should ask each other how we are and listen to the answer. Most celebrities/ people in the public eye are slim. They’re not free; they are judged, put under a microscopic lens, everything is controlled. They must constantly have food on the brain, may constantly feel hungry. Have to work out every day even when they don’t feel like it. Yes they look slim, but it is a life long commitment and I’m so grateful and thankful that I don’t have that pressure in my life. It’s so freeing to not care. X
Thanks for your inspiring vulnerability. I love the humour and honesty. I'm on the up and down journey to accepting my changed body after having my sons. Thank you both, so great to also hear a man's perspective on this.
Amazing video. Loved your point about not being ready for a relationship if we are worrying about them feeling 'that' bit. You both talk so well about this topic and as a 25 year old girl who has struggled with bulimia and toxic low self esteem in relationships, thinking I was fat and disgusting when I was my lowest ever weight and looked ill these truthful discussions are amazing.
Brenda Mcgee I agree I’ve been on this channel since ruffly mayb end April start off May . It’s like a family where u meet sum nice people in chat . 🤗🤗🤗xx
Thankyou for a lovely honest chat as always .Mark ..you are Mark Adderley and you are awesome !!..Nadia ..you are Nadia Sawahhla and you are awesome too! Sending love and peace xxx
My father sexually abused me . I was a fat child and I think I ate to make myself unattractive I’m 63 and 13 stone for the first time ever and I feel great . My father is dead and I’m glad because I’m free . I wish I’d had help but it was a diffrent time
I love how you are both so honest and don’t worry about discussing any topic, which most people shy away from. I can’t interact with women at all and I don’t have any female friends. I can’t bear fake people and see through women instantly. This makes friendships difficult. Thank you for being you Nadia.
Thank you SO much for your beautiful honesty! I can relate to you both in so many ways and I am so so grateful that you use your platform to talk about these things. If we were all able to be a bit more open and honest like this I think we would all feel so much more comfortable !! I bet we would be shocked at how other people perceive themselves as well! Love you both xxxx
I'm confused, just woke up and saw this , thought it was a live 😂, My cousin was subjected to awful comments from her husband and he divorced her because he said she was too fat and he preferred blondes - she's better of without him, they were married for around 20 years Thank you for all your chats you're great advocates 🐝🌈❤️
Angela Locke men fink us women carnt live without them well there’s always Ann Summers & u don’t have to fake it or cuddle it after lol 😂😂😂😂xxHe sounded a right pig 🐖 she better off without him I’ve been divorced 17 years wud never look back he was a controlling person wanted me 2 wear what he said & choose who I spoke to 💕💕xx
I wish my mum talked to me about life,sex,drugs, depression,,men,,,, Nothing,we never talked about none of that,,,very sad! I have a daughter now and I will be like you Nadia,❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
When my mum was alive she was really horrible she didn't care what she said she always used to say to me you need to use weight you were slim at 18yrs and I was in my mid thirties when she was saying this never ever said anything nice to me in my whole life xxx
I was bullied when I was little for having thick lips,,,,,I have always liked them and did wonder why they didn't!!! It affected me even if I was confident about myself!!!
Something that I’ve been thinking a lot about recently are the disparities between our crazy western world and the developing world. How, maybe our attitude toward body image and eating may be a deep rooted psyche that is embedded and hardwired into our unconsciousness. How can it be that so many countries have so little access to the capitalist excess we have? Why have our bodies become commodities like so much every bloody thing else?😩 Are our struggles an unspoken unexplored shared guilt? Maybe? Maybe not..? I don’t know...Just thoughts post pandemania.. Thank you Nadia and Mark for your personal sharing and opening up conversations and thoughts..it’s an ongoing one for myself and my other half...💜
Never had any problems with my body image until lost alot of weight went down size 10 from 16 just terrible time for me now very happy with my body it rocks it so thank you talking about this as great
The Sawalha-Adderleys - Family, Food, Films & Fun thank you 😊 talking to people on this channel is so warming uv both helped a lot off people with your excellent topics & totally love 💕 your garden vlogs & the still out door garden 1 u do where we listeners chat among our selfs thanks 🙏🤗🤗🤗xxxx
Everyone should listen to the song '' THE VIOCE WITHIN by Chrtitina Aquilera.... Really listen to those lirics... Good for young and old..... male or female look inside yourself 🌈💐❤️🙏🏼💋
I am now watching old vlogs..when you were in Spain on holidays,the whole family,,,Love everything about them,music is really good too. They have the allioli in Lidl now on the Spanish week,look in the fridge,chovi in a yellow plastic little container!! I am very jealous of you lovely family ❤️💝
Hey you two! Thanks for another heart to heart on body image talk. I’ve been feeling it. But I started exercising & have been put on the low intensity CBT list. So I’ve realised howeve r bad I’ve been feeling, I’ve got everything to be proud of.
You are both wonderful people.. So brave to talk about such personal feelings for us all to hear.. I have never been a confident person,never liked myself. I wasn't a popular person at school,always hiding away quietly in the shadows.. And that has always been the way.. Now I'm almost 60 I see my body looking older,it makes me feel sad😥 I don't know why I dislike myself so much,I had a happy childhood and Loving parents..
I leave comments here as I watch the video,,,,, Don't you think they should teach about self love in school?? All of that you talking,,, because i so agree with you guys! Loving your body is so so important from a very important age,,,and not Letting someone only love you for how you look,,!!! I am 37 years old and have a 5 years ago,,, my body has definitely change,,,but I still love it,and will always support other mummies to love themselves too❤️💝
So informative... Can we have a part two PLEASE.... I think we have only just scratched the service here.... HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOLIDAY IN CORNWALL. 👍😍💋🌈💐🙏🏼❤️.. .
I have a bad mental body image. No matter what weight I’ve been. I’ve probably been five stone different in weight throughout my adult life. But I can remember when I was slimmer and even though sometimes I felt great it also made me even pickier about my appearance. I never felt like I got to the place I wanted to be, there was always something else I wanted to work on and change. The one thing that has changed is that I don’t care about being naked in my home or with my partner. I can remember being conscious about getting changed in front of my partner in the past. But something about becoming a mother has changed that and I’ll happily walk around with everything out 😂🤦🏼♀️. But in public I and before I go out I just constantly look in every single reflection and mirror, which looks like a vain problem when it’s actually the opposite.
Loved this. Thank you. One point I’d like to say is that with teenage sons - although boys make comments about girls and image - it Definitley happens both ways. The things my sons tell me that girls have said about them or their friends is just as shocking. One of the group of girls rates the boyfriends - and if average score isn’t over 7 then the girl ‘dumps’ the boy. It’s shocking. So it’s not just boys that say about girls. Girls also do it. Just wanted to stand up for some boys. 💕
It's more likely that you didn't grow because of emotional deprivation. You can research lots of info on thriving & growth connections. Some children grow fast when taken out of a miserable situation. You've done so well Mark.
I also never liked nudity, fine for others, not me. Unfortunately i did have people, men and women, saying hurtful things about my body, even when i was slim. But hey life is too short, worrying about my body
I know how you feel mark when my husband puts his arms round me ipulll my stomach in this happens when I’m the weight I should be or when I’ve put on a stone it’s ridiculous I’ve been married 48 years this year x🤩🤩
Agree with everything you’re saying, and yet I disliked my body 40 yrs out of my 47, conscious of shop windows as I walk past and always have thought people see me as fat girl/women. Not even that big (about 2 stone over weight) so wish at this point of life I could be content with myself. I’m a comfort eater and I know I could loose it if I really tried but have a partner with very bad depression and some days when he’s bad he comments on my weight and then food just makes me happy (for 10 mins while eating). X
I really agree with body positivity. But when do we say that something doesn’t look nice. I’m thinking on a personal level, I would never tell someone they were fat or ugly. I know some people have extended issues and see what isn’t there, but what if it is there and we’re not being honest by acknowledging it ? I’m just thinking out loud here 🤔
Lynn Clarkson if I’m in a changing room tryin something on & sum 1 in there wants my opinion & I does not suit them I will tell them as I hope they wud do the same for me 😊😊xx
Omg that was a powerful one. Let me say firstly. Nadia and mark I admire you both I really do. I haven't got a alcohol addition it's food I do absolutely nothing to burn that food off.when I go swimming with the kids I go to a pool in a different part of town so I don't be seen in a swimming costume as I'm let's say paranoid about what people think. Secondly mark you and Nadia are really nice people you have 2 lovely girls and you have helped alot of people. I absolutely adore you all.xx❤️❤️.xx
I agree I think stinking thinking is deadly and it doesn’t matter I’m the end how many good things you hear if your mind can tell you 200 bad things at the same time. Also if you are coming to Cornwall / I live here and you must visit Porthkidney beach it’s stunning and not many people know about it ......
My god just watched this vlog it makes u really fink hard . I was brought up the old fashion way by my parents where love 💕 was not shown it makes me feel so low . Cudnt tell my mother any problems suffered anxiety which I didn’t know the meaning off . Never ad a relationship with my father . My dad was never a dad but he’s a wonderful grandad . I will always tell my daughters I love them as when I was a child I never ad that said to me mayb that’s y I never felt loved or cud love a partner I don’t know . Plus partners I’ve ad in the passed av always mayb me feel low mayb I will always b single but I guess I need to start loving myself 1st like I do my daughters . Mayb I’m just talking crap .🥺🥺🥺xx
Hello Penny.My up bringing was the same as you with both my parents an absolute disgrace my father also bullied me to the extent I developed epilepsy.i had a million problems in my head by the age of 12 .told them this to be told I was talkin shit and to pull myself together . everything was so over wellming and I felt like I should of been in hospital.i couldn't explain any of what was going on in my head at. the time. as I didn't know what it all ment.xx🌷🌷🌺
Cada Girl I wasn’t bullied by my parents I just ad nothing in common with my father so I guess it was like being brought up by my mother but back in them days it was like you never heard the word divorce & when I going through divorce my father cudnt get his head round it . It was like u choose 2 marry u stay together cos of the children I cudnt cos if I had fink my ex husband wud off killed me do u get what I mean ! 🥺🥺xx
I have been in a very loving, close marriage with a lovely man for over 20 years, and we were intimate a lot when we first got together. However, as I have gotten older, I have such a poor body image, that I avoid intimacy. It didn't help, when I was going through the menopause and my body wasn't what it used to be, I asked my hubby, "would you still love me if I were fat/less firm", and he turned to me (and he say it to be cruel, just honest) and said, "yes, of course, but I wouldn't fancy you as much" and that has stayed with me ever since! He still tells me he fancies me, but I just can't get that out of my head, but, not only that, I, myself do not like what I see in the mirror any more! I worry that it will affect our marriage, so far it hasn't and he is very loving and caring, but I do worry that he will get fed up with me! Thank you for sharing your story, I have never felt that I could say any of this to anyone else before!
@@poppyclark9789 Thank you! Don't get me wrong, he still says that he fancies me (even after 20+ years) and he IS my soulmate. It's just me, I just can't shift it from my mind . . . and I KNOW I can't stay like I was all those years ago, but I can't help feeling down about it. Thank you for the support! xxx
Nadia you should be happy 😃 with your body’ if you want to be smaller that up to you but you are ok 👍 the why you are love 💕 Helen ☕️☕️🐕🦺🐾🐾🌺🌺🌺🌺💕💕🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Wow you two such Honesty again!! YOU TWO ARE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE & OUT❤❤ It is so Sad how it takes us until we are older to love ourselves! I have been a yoyo dieter since the Age of 14 due to bullying at school! My Daughter also went through the samething but was not fat & at 22 is still a size 10 & belives she is Fat its so sad😢Bullies & Media have a lot to Answer too! I Belive at 58 this is me i am what i am take it or leave it!!! I WILL CONTINUE TO TELL MY DAUGHTER SHE IS BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT THE WAY SHE IS ❤ God Bless you both for all your Podcasts ad they are so Helpful👍
Jan Galvin my daughter is just the same she is tall & slim finking she is fat & ugly far far from it she watches what she eats in case she puts weight on I tell her she’s beautiful & lovely all the time I put it down 2 horrible kids at school & jealousy 🥺🥺xx
I never comment on these videos. I have been watching these for years. I am turning 18 and have always struggled with my body image. Even when I was a size six I was convinced I was obese. This has affected friendships and relationships. Out of all these podcasts, this one has really touched me. Thank you for discussing these issues and normalising them. By following these vlogs for years, I always think of you guys like my auntie and uncle. Thanks a lot guys for being a big part of my teenage years x
Wow amazing comment. You go girl,what you got is yours and you are unique just the way you are! Love yourself ALWAYS💝❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
dolly ray bless you that’s such a lovely 😊 thing to say . U sound like a lovely person hope u do well in life 👏👏👏👏xx
Patricia Montes Aww this community is just lovely. I don’t know why I haven’t commented before! You too!! xx
Penny Leggate Thank you Penny, this is so so kind. Have a lovely day x
dolly ray this channel u find u can open up to people & it does help there r sum lovely genuine real people about that r here to listen 👂 & talk 2 🤗🤗🤗xx
When I look at you both I see two good-looking, successful and understanding people. From the outside you seem very blessed which you are. But I suppose you can have everything but nothing if you do have mental health issues. I love how honest you both are and these talks relate to all walks of life many thanks
Thank you both for this, my body image affects my relationship a lot for a lot of the reasons you’ve mentioned. Listening to you talk to each other has helped me realise the problem is with what I think about me, not what other people are or actually aren’t thinking! You are both gorgeous! ❤️
I know you won’t see this as it’s a late comment but I have watched EVERYTHING you’ve done from day one - this film said it all. I cried on both your and my behalf, I smiled at the poignant reminisces, I championed your childhood memories. I thank you you for every shared moment and heartfelt offering. From an early and dedicated sub - thank you. xxx🥰💖😘 Wow!!! xxx
I think some people are born confident!! And never worry about their bodies , others are shy and insecure how they feel about their self image 🤩🤗 as we age there are very few people that are in shape and thats normal , it’s about being happy.😁
Connie H once uv ad a baby 🍼 I fink your body goes south lol 😂 men never look at u the same as u get stretch marks & cellulite . I’m now very shy bout my body & there’s only me 🥺🥺🥺xx
Ugh. So out of shape atm I hate it
Penny Leggate I’m so sorry , hopefully you see the good things about yourself and I’m sure there’s loads 🌷🌷🌷
Deer Heart I bet your not ,I’m sure you are a lovely person and that’s what others see first 💁♀️🧚♂️
Mark you’ve got a healthy body beautiful soul.Youthful for your age.Nadia radiates positivity.You bounce off each other.Love you both.❤️❤️💫💫💫
When I was 16 years old, my first serious boyfriend suddenly said (out of the blue and when I least expected it), "You've got wide hips, haven't you?". I weighed just over 7 stone and was 5' 4". I was very slim. But it was so hurtful, and it made me self conscious of my body from the moment he said it to the present day. I'm always worrying about my hips, which is silly (plus a million other body parts too!). He was quite a controlling person, and he would often make remarks about my appearance here and there. The trouble is, even though the rational part of my brain knows that he was just trying to undermine my self esteem and confidence, I still deal with the damaging emotions and terrible body image it has left me with to this day.
I've always struggled my whole life with my body image. I was a size 8 to 10 well into my 20's but thought I was huge. Now I'm 39 and a size 16 but I don't hate myself as much as I did then. Funny how maturity helps isn't it. I do know I need to lose 2 or 3 stone but it's more of a health thing now. Actually physically very like you Nadia! X
Kate Mancini I think 💭 we have 2 learn 2 live our selfs then we can love 💕 our body’s 🤗🤗xx
I hate getting older it's awful
Thank you both for your honesty and for sharing your insecurities. You help so many people and are great role models for families ♥️
Mark you so hard on yourself,don’t undermine yourself by believing those wrong thoughts.Its like taking off the old coat,and putting on a new one.Listen to Nadia,she’s so right what she says about you and all the advice she gives.Mark let yourself live.Your intelligent,gifted,handsome and an amazing young man 😀
This almost made me cry... I’m 53 years old and only just realised I’ve never picked a partner that I fancied or even thought to look for one. I’ve always landed up with someone that liked Me; and I know it’s because I thought I couldn’t do better - and like you, Nadia, I used to be 36 24 36. I wish I could take the brain I’ve earned over the years back in time and put it into my younger head. I’ve spent most of my life watching others live because I wasn’t brave enough, pretty enough or confident enough to join in.
Much of this paranoia and insecurity begins so early on. I think if we all had a personal therapist at the start of school age and throughout, we would steer through better and iron these issues before they embedded their negativity into ourselves. We carry so much into our maturer years without having had the tools to zoom out or understand them. Great discussion you both gave, very well aired and useful for many.
Den James I fink schools shud do more for children like metal health after school classes . As like most kids they leave school go out into the wild world with no clue what so ever if life . Then everything cums cashing down round them I know as my daughter stuffers now & down the line looking back I was like that plus other people I knew 🥺🥺🥺x
I find it so sweet how much Mark fancies Nadia so completely. So lovely. My husband is like that too but I have lots of stinking thinking about my body, even though at 48 I’m the same weight as I was at 18! I exercise, eat well, intermittent fast but still don’t quite feel ‘good enough’ 😒😔
Saskia Guy you sound like u got a lovely 😊 husband that finks the world about u there’s not many women out there that can prob say that . I fink u r half way there just take each day as it cums 😊😊xx
That was a very honest & true conversation about yourselves & how ye see each other and if everyone was to be honest with themselves they are the exact same, people think the grass is always greener on the other side when in fact no one knows what's going on behind closed doors. Loved this chat fair play to ye both, thanks very much. If everyone was to be honest & less pass remarkable we'd all be in a better place
This is so refreshing and has really helped me to identify some of my own body image problems...thank you. My primary addiction was with food - which has manifested into alcoholism. 12 years in recovery from alcoholism but still have lots of work to do around food/body issues. Lack of self esteem can be crippling but you will help so many people by talking so honestly about your own journeys. Xx 👍💛
Thank u for a honest & brave podcast .. a subject close to my heart but in some ways a subject I can’t bare to discuss or try & work out . Suffering from anorexia from a very young age & the way I treat my body & punish myself isn’t right but over the years I’ve realised that body dysmorphia has had a big part to play in all of this . I continue to get help for my eating disorder & nothing I wish more is to be that confident person in their own skin , not caring what the reflection in the mirror is saying but a happy person from the inside out...
Following u guys for about a year now & wanted to say thank u for that constant security & warmth from your channel . Means more than u probably realise 💕 x
Going up and down in weight my entire life, I too am damaged by comments about from childhood and present day. I would never comment on someone’s appearance. Even throw away remarks can be so damaging. I look at you both and I see two beautiful successful people both inside and out. I have such hatred of my body covered in psoriasis. I feel repulsive to others in every way and I would do anything not to suffer from this disease. xx
Marcia Toms just reading what u put upsets me I feel for u . Just keep telling yourself u r a beautiful person inside & out to hell with peoples shittie comments there r sum spiteful people out there & I alway say why there avin ago at sum 1 they r leaving another person alone . Mayb they r spiteful cos they r not happy with there own life’s . Just take a breath & face each day as it cums 🤗🤗🤗🤗xx
Penny Leggate thank you so much for your kind words Penny xx
What an extremely powerful and honest talk. I was absolutely engulfed by it all. I can relate to so much of what Nadia said and I honestly felt for you Mark, anxiety, Depression and lack of body confidence is so common. I too have felt this for years, since I waa s in the upper primary school. It has ruled my life and ruined many years that I will never get back again. I am trying really hard now and it is so good to be able to talk about it with those in the same position. Heartrfelt thanks to you both xx
Thank you for doing this video. I love how honest you both are ❤
Great chat!!!!!
At this stage I’m glad I have two arms and two legs and they somewhat work
I’ve parked and left behind all the other anxiety of does my bum look too big ... etc etc
Life is over in the blink of an eye and should be enjoyed wholly with no regrets and overthought
We would be so much wiser to indulge in our talents and things that enhance this experience x
I totally think beards and especially goatee remind me of pubic hair also, I thought I was the only one who thought like this!!!
I adore you both; your sincerity, your perspective and your ability to articulate some things that, although i’m feeling it too, i don’t have the words to describe. I’ve struggled with a body dysmorphic mindset since I was about 13 (nearly 21 now), and although I have definitely grown in perspective and development in liking and accepting myself, it still is a daily struggle and I grow ever more tired and frustrated over the tedious mirror checking after every meal or constantly analysing how people see me. But listening to you both talk about this so openly and bravely, it gives me strength and hope that this is something I can work on. Keep talking about these things xx
Sorry for watching this late but I like to leave comments after everyone else has gone anyway lol. So refreshing to hear you two discuss this and for you to go back to the past and teach us what you’ve learnt.
It’s also been refreshing to hear Mark as a male perspective on body insecurity. I always downplay men feeling insecure or caring what women think. When Mark was speaking about his ex touching his stomach and implying he’d put on weight. I’ve had similar experiences from men and it’s stayed with me all these years. If I’d have been more secure I’d have laughed off a comment, or teased back, but sometimes, in a weakened state of mind, you internalise the comments and it becomes another negative thought and becomes part of ‘stinking thinking,’
I find it funny how you both think so highly of the other, but you find it hard to accept each other’s compliments You need to really listen to how the other views you because that’s the only person who you want to see you naked. Their opinion is what counts.
You both need to give yourselves so much credit. It’s shocking to hear how down on yourselves you can be. Regardless of age (which is just a number and doesn’t mean anything, anyway) you’re both fanciable when you were young and fanciable now. That’s most than the majority of people are. Most people are never fancied except by their partners. Being fanciable isn’t solely on looks, is always about the entire package; it’s so attractive to be open and vulnerable, to share, and to help others. That means more than a ‘perfect’ Instagram picture. The people who look highly of someone because they look perfect, with no imperfections are non existent. In fact, you’re more likely to be called smug and attract jealousy. The most secure people don’t mind if they have a double chin in a picture, or if they look a little tired, they just don’t care.
Obviously anonymous trolls and social media is awful because those people prey on insecurity, they prey on imperfections, and they don’t want you to feel happy. That’s why Nadia not giving a f about being naked is so empowering. It’s a big middle finger uP to the trolls who want to criticise.
Nadia was so right about the way we look at old pictures where we looked slim and we think bad to how mentally unwell we felt at the time. People judge us as ‘oh they must be happy look how slim they are’ but sometimes when we take too much care of our body, we’re masking the mental health issues and trying to gain control of how bad we feel inside.
Sorry to bring up Caroline Flack but she is the prime example of having the perfect Instagram life and people assuming she has the world at her feet. This is partly why she was so misjudged. She’s human like the rest of us but people misleadingly believed she didn’t have weaknesses or wasn’t fallible like we all are. People are just so used to making assumptions based on appearances.
I’m usually at my slimmest/get the most compliments when I’ve got bad anxiety. When I have anxiety my stomach produces acid, and my appetite completely goes. I wake up and even brushing my teeth makes me retch and gag. It doesn’t make me feel good when people tell me I look slim or I’ve lost weight because I know the truth behind that weight loss, but it appears like I should smile and take it as a compliment (how screwed up is that?’ We should never comment on a person’s figure even if we feel we are being kind. We should ask each other how we are and listen to the answer.
Most celebrities/ people in the public eye are slim. They’re not free; they are judged, put under a microscopic lens, everything is controlled. They must constantly have food on the brain, may constantly feel hungry. Have to work out every day even when they don’t feel like it. Yes they look slim, but it is a life long commitment and I’m so grateful and thankful that I don’t have that pressure in my life. It’s so freeing to not care. X
Thanks for your inspiring vulnerability. I love the humour and honesty. I'm on the up and down journey to accepting my changed body after having my sons. Thank you both, so great to also hear a man's perspective on this.
Amazing video. Loved your point about not being ready for a relationship if we are worrying about them feeling 'that' bit.
You both talk so well about this topic and as a 25 year old girl who has struggled with bulimia and toxic low self esteem in relationships, thinking I was fat and disgusting when I was my lowest ever weight and looked ill these truthful discussions are amazing.
Goodevening.Have a wonderful time in Cornwall.Sharing your lives is helping so many.❤️❤️
Brenda Mcgee I agree I’ve been on this channel since ruffly mayb end April start off May . It’s like a family where u meet sum nice people in chat . 🤗🤗🤗xx
Thankyou for a lovely honest chat as always .Mark ..you are Mark Adderley and you are awesome !!..Nadia ..you are Nadia Sawahhla and you are awesome too! Sending love and peace xxx
My father sexually abused me . I was a fat child and I think I ate to make myself unattractive I’m 63 and 13 stone for the first time ever and I feel great . My father is dead and I’m glad because I’m free . I wish I’d had help but it was a diffrent time
I love how you are both so honest and don’t worry about discussing any topic, which most people shy away from. I can’t interact with women at all and I don’t have any female friends. I can’t bear fake people and see through women instantly. This makes friendships difficult. Thank you for being you Nadia.
Thank you SO much for your beautiful honesty! I can relate to you both in so many ways and I am so so grateful that you use your platform to talk about these things. If we were all able to be a bit more open and honest like this I think we would all feel so much more comfortable !! I bet we would be shocked at how other people perceive themselves as well! Love you both xxxx
I'm confused, just woke up and saw this , thought it was a live 😂, My cousin was subjected to awful comments from her husband and he divorced her because he said she was too fat and he preferred blondes - she's better of without him, they were married for around 20 years
Thank you for all your chats you're great advocates
🐝🌈❤️
Angela Locke men fink us women carnt live without them well there’s always Ann Summers & u don’t have to fake it or cuddle it after lol 😂😂😂😂xxHe sounded a right pig 🐖 she better off without him I’ve been divorced 17 years wud never look back he was a controlling person wanted me 2 wear what he said & choose who I spoke to 💕💕xx
Angela Locke good god !! How vile !!
I wish my mum talked to me about life,sex,drugs, depression,,men,,,,
Nothing,we never talked about none of that,,,very sad! I have a daughter now and I will be like you Nadia,❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
When my mum was alive she was really horrible she didn't care what she said she always used to say to me you need to use weight you were slim at 18yrs and I was in my mid thirties when she was saying this never ever said anything nice to me in my whole life xxx
I was bullied when I was little for having thick lips,,,,,I have always liked them and did wonder why they didn't!!! It affected me even if I was confident about myself!!!
Something that I’ve been thinking a lot about recently are the disparities between our crazy western world and the developing world. How, maybe our attitude toward body image and eating may be a deep rooted psyche that is embedded and hardwired into our unconsciousness. How can it be that so many countries have so little access to the capitalist excess we have? Why have our bodies become commodities like so much every bloody thing else?😩
Are our struggles an unspoken unexplored shared guilt? Maybe? Maybe not..? I don’t know...Just thoughts post pandemania..
Thank you Nadia and Mark for your personal sharing and opening up conversations and thoughts..it’s an ongoing one for myself and my other half...💜
Never had any problems with my body image until lost alot of weight went down size 10 from 16 just terrible time for me now very happy with my body it rocks it so thank you talking about this as great
I love the fact You both helped so many people they certainly do look up to you both I no I do xx
I do aswell 🙋♀️I look up to them both 💯
Yes you’ve helped so many off us though lockdown with so interesting topics hope sum off us also help u two in the same way thank you 😊😊😊xx
Jane Friel awwww sending love xxx
Penny Leggate you really all have xx
The Sawalha-Adderleys - Family, Food, Films & Fun thank you 😊 talking to people on this channel is so warming uv both helped a lot off people with your excellent topics & totally love 💕 your garden vlogs & the still out door garden 1 u do where we listeners chat among our selfs thanks 🙏🤗🤗🤗xxxx
Everyone should listen to the song '' THE VIOCE WITHIN by Chrtitina Aquilera.... Really listen to those lirics... Good for young and old..... male or female look inside yourself 🌈💐❤️🙏🏼💋
I am now watching old vlogs..when you were in Spain on holidays,the whole family,,,Love everything about them,music is really good too. They have the allioli in Lidl now on the Spanish week,look in the fridge,chovi in a yellow plastic little container!! I am very jealous of you lovely family ❤️💝
Hey you two! Thanks for another heart to heart on body image talk. I’ve been feeling it. But I started exercising & have been put on the low intensity CBT list. So I’ve realised howeve r bad I’ve been feeling, I’ve got everything to be proud of.
Lior _ Vibefeeler u sound like a lovely 😊 person keep thinking positive 👌👌xx
You are both wonderful people..
So brave to talk about such personal feelings for us all to hear..
I have never been a confident person,never liked myself.
I wasn't a popular person at school,always hiding away quietly in the shadows..
And that has always been the way..
Now I'm almost 60 I see my body looking older,it makes me feel sad😥
I don't know why I dislike myself so much,I had a happy childhood and Loving parents..
I leave comments here as I watch the video,,,,,
Don't you think they should teach about self love in school?? All of that you talking,,, because i so agree with you guys! Loving your body is so so important from a very important age,,,and not Letting someone only love you for how you look,,!!! I am 37 years old and have a 5 years ago,,, my body has definitely change,,,but I still love it,and will always support other mummies to love themselves too❤️💝
So informative... Can we have a part two PLEASE.... I think we have only just scratched the service here.... HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOLIDAY IN CORNWALL. 👍😍💋🌈💐🙏🏼❤️.. .
henrietta henson how right you are !
I have a bad mental body image. No matter what weight I’ve been. I’ve probably been five stone different in weight throughout my adult life. But I can remember when I was slimmer and even though sometimes I felt great it also made me even pickier about my appearance. I never felt like I got to the place I wanted to be, there was always something else I wanted to work on and change. The one thing that has changed is that I don’t care about being naked in my home or with my partner. I can remember being conscious about getting changed in front of my partner in the past. But something about becoming a mother has changed that and I’ll happily walk around with everything out 😂🤦🏼♀️. But in public I and before I go out I just constantly look in every single reflection and mirror, which looks like a vain problem when it’s actually the opposite.
Mark, you make me laugh and by the way you both look great to me! Just love your honesty!❤️
Loved this. Thank you.
One point I’d like to say is that with teenage sons - although boys make comments about girls and image - it Definitley happens both ways. The things my sons tell me that girls have said about them or their friends is just as shocking. One of the group of girls rates the boyfriends - and if average score isn’t over 7 then the girl ‘dumps’ the boy. It’s shocking. So it’s not just boys that say about girls. Girls also do it. Just wanted to stand up for some boys. 💕
You two are amazing! Very inspirational and just lovely. Nadias post absolutely changed my view on my body image x
It's more likely that you didn't grow because of emotional deprivation. You can research lots of info on thriving & growth connections. Some children grow fast when taken out of a miserable situation. You've done so well Mark.
Loved this. Loved your confessions of a modern parent yesterday too.
I also never liked nudity, fine for others, not me.
Unfortunately i did have people, men and women, saying hurtful things about my body, even when i was slim.
But hey life is too short, worrying about my body
I know how you feel mark when my husband puts his arms round me ipulll my stomach in this happens when I’m the weight I should be or when I’ve put on a stone it’s ridiculous I’ve been married 48 years this year x🤩🤩
Agree with everything you’re saying, and yet I disliked my body 40 yrs out of my 47, conscious of shop windows as I walk past and always have thought people see me as fat girl/women.
Not even that big (about 2 stone over weight) so wish at this point of life I could be content with myself.
I’m a comfort eater and I know I could loose it if I really tried but have a partner with very bad depression and some days when he’s bad he comments on my weight and then food just makes me happy (for 10 mins while eating). X
I really agree with body positivity. But when do we say that something doesn’t look nice. I’m thinking on a personal level, I would never tell someone they were fat or ugly. I know some people have extended issues and see what isn’t there, but what if it is there and we’re not being honest by acknowledging it ? I’m just thinking out loud here 🤔
Lynn Clarkson if I’m in a changing room tryin something on & sum 1 in there wants my opinion & I does not suit them I will tell them as I hope they wud do the same for me 😊😊xx
Omg that was a powerful one.
Let me say firstly.
Nadia and mark I admire you both I really do.
I haven't got a alcohol addition it's food I do absolutely nothing to burn that food off.when I go swimming with the kids I go to a pool in a different part of town so I don't be seen in a swimming costume as I'm let's say paranoid about what people think.
Secondly mark you and Nadia are really nice people you have 2 lovely girls and you have helped alot of people.
I absolutely adore you all.xx❤️❤️.xx
Oa meetings are really amazing they are on zoom atm x 😘
I agree I think stinking thinking is deadly and it doesn’t matter I’m the end how many good things you hear if your mind can tell you 200 bad things at the same time. Also if you are coming to Cornwall /
I live here and you must visit Porthkidney beach it’s stunning and not many people know about it ......
My god just watched this vlog it makes u really fink hard . I was brought up the old fashion way by my parents where love 💕 was not shown it makes me feel so low . Cudnt tell my mother any problems suffered anxiety which I didn’t know the meaning off . Never ad a relationship with my father . My dad was never a dad but he’s a wonderful grandad . I will always tell my daughters I love them as when I was a child I never ad that said to me mayb that’s y I never felt loved or cud love a partner I don’t know . Plus partners I’ve ad in the passed av always mayb me feel low mayb I will always b single but I guess I need to start loving myself 1st like I do my daughters . Mayb I’m just talking crap .🥺🥺🥺xx
Hello Penny.My up bringing was the same as you with both my parents an absolute disgrace my father also bullied me to the extent I developed epilepsy.i had a million problems in my head by the age of 12 .told them this to be told I was talkin shit and to pull myself together . everything was so over wellming and I felt like I should of been in hospital.i couldn't explain any of what was going on in my head at. the time. as I didn't know what it all ment.xx🌷🌷🌺
Cada Girl I wasn’t bullied by my parents I just ad nothing in common with my father so I guess it was like being brought up by my mother but back in them days it was like you never heard the word divorce & when I going through divorce my father cudnt get his head round it . It was like u choose 2 marry u stay together cos of the children I cudnt cos if I had fink my ex husband wud off killed me do u get what I mean ! 🥺🥺xx
I have been in a very loving, close marriage with a lovely man for over 20 years, and we were intimate a lot when we first got together. However, as I have gotten older, I have such a poor body image, that I avoid intimacy.
It didn't help, when I was going through the menopause and my body wasn't what it used to be, I asked my hubby, "would you still love me if I were fat/less firm", and he turned to me (and he say it to be cruel, just honest) and said, "yes, of course, but I wouldn't fancy you as much" and that has stayed with me ever since!
He still tells me he fancies me, but I just can't get that out of my head, but, not only that, I, myself do not like what I see in the mirror any more! I worry that it will affect our marriage, so far it hasn't and he is very loving and caring, but I do worry that he will get fed up with me! Thank you for sharing your story, I have never felt that I could say any of this to anyone else before!
@@poppyclark9789 Thank you! Don't get me wrong, he still says that he fancies me (even after 20+ years) and he IS my soulmate. It's just me, I just can't shift it from my mind . . . and I KNOW I can't stay like I was all those years ago, but I can't help feeling down about it. Thank you for the support! xxx
Absolutely brilliant 👍thank you so much for your honesty ❤️
Hi where are you guys I am not sure 🤔 are you still in Cornwall hope you are enjoying yourselfs relaxing 😎 in the sun 🌞 love 💕 Helen 💕🌺🌺🌺😊😊😊👍👍👍🌻🌻
What a great chat... I look at both of you & see a beautiful woman Nadia & a handsome man Mark... Great talk thankyou ❤️❤️
Thank you for being my therapists guys,❤️💝❤️
Nadia you should be happy 😃 with your body’ if you want to be smaller that up to you but you are ok 👍 the why you are love 💕 Helen ☕️☕️🐕🦺🐾🐾🌺🌺🌺🌺💕💕🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
🤣🤣I couldn't agree more nadia I cant cope with nakedness 🤣🤦♀️
Brilliant as usual. Xxx
Is there any lives tonight anybody ? 😊😊x
I wondered the same tonight penny🙂
Cada Girl mayb not never really know when the lives r as lately just seem to miss the start r all together 😊😊xx
Hi mark where nanny Di is not coming today ok 👍 love 💕 Helen 😷👋👋🌺🌺🌺💕💕☕️☕️☕️🍩🍩🌺🌺🦚🌿☘️🌳🕊🐕🦺🐕🦺🐾🐾
Wow you two such Honesty again!! YOU TWO ARE BEAUTIFUL INSIDE & OUT❤❤ It is so Sad how it takes us until we are older to love ourselves! I have been a yoyo dieter since the Age of 14 due to bullying at school! My Daughter also went through the samething but was not fat & at 22 is still a size 10 & belives she is Fat its so sad😢Bullies & Media have a lot to Answer too! I Belive at 58 this is me i am what i am take it or leave it!!! I WILL CONTINUE TO TELL MY DAUGHTER SHE IS BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT THE WAY SHE IS ❤ God Bless you both for all your Podcasts ad they are so Helpful👍
Jan Galvin my daughter is just the same she is tall & slim finking she is fat & ugly far far from it she watches what she eats in case she puts weight on I tell her she’s beautiful & lovely all the time I put it down 2 horrible kids at school & jealousy 🥺🥺xx
MARK maybe you want to but you can't because you never have xx
Hi 👋 look you live today you can’t go back think 💭 of the present that’s the most important thing love 💕 to you both Helen 👍👍🤗🤗🤗🤣🤣😃😃🤗🤗🐾🐾🐕🦺🐕🦺👋🌺🌺🌺🌺
I think the both of you look stunning 💯😍🙌🤗hope your enjoying Cornwall 🌊🌊🌊🏖️🏖️🏖️🦀🦀🦀🌈🌈🌈⚓⚓⚓🐙🐙🐙🐳🐳🐳🤽♀️🤽♂️🏊♂️🏊♀️🏄♀️🏄♂️🥟🥟🍦🍦🍧🍨
Marc you r gorgeous
It’s all f’d up
Morning
Morning guys love 💕 🐕🦺🐕🦺🐾🐾🤗🤗
🏋🏽♀️🔥