Why People Avoid Therapy (2014 Rerun)
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- Опубликовано: 24 дек 2024
- [Rerun] Dr. Kirk Honda talks about why people avoid therapy
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December 17, 2014
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
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I was talking with a friend last night about the ripple effect of harm that is caused when people avoid therapy. Basically, we both are pursuing therapy to deal with the fallout of unhealthy behavior in family who won't consider therapy.
the ripple effect is so real, it can be difficult to remain charitable towards people who cause harm and then deny and deflect, i’ve already seen some in the comments
As someone who has been a patient, I’ll tell you three reasons right now before watching the video.
1. Can’t afford it/loss of insurance. Just the other day someone said to me “I’d tell you to try therapy, but that would be kind of classist” and they were right.
2. A shortage of therapists. I was given a list of therapists by my neurologists office a couple years ago and every single one I called either wasn’t taking new patients or was no longer practicing. The only reason I got my last therapist was because I was recommended to them by someone who wasn’t seeing new patients.
3. On top of the previous two things you still have to find someone who you are comfortable with enough to be vulnerable with. Sometimes the person you end up with just isn’t right for you but because of the first two points, you feel that you’re kind of stuck with them because the alternative is not having anyone to talk to.
Now these of course, are not the only reasons. Certainly there’s a stigma around therapy that I don’t personally subscribe to. Many people don’t want to be seen as mentally ill. I for one am mentally ill and there’s no denying that so there’d be no point in avoiding therapy. Basically, I think the therapist do a wonderful (and unenviable) job, and it’s mostly just the system around therapy that’s the problem.
As a therapist in training, I’m horrified at the thought that some clients might feel dependent on me.
Excellent. I have a friend who uses me as a therapist. I've gently tried to recommend therapy for her. I found therapy life changing, but that doesn't mean I can help the person recover.
My friend getting therapy was life-changing enough for me. It makes me feel less like a load-bearing wall for the both of us
After a having a stroke at age 54 I wish I had done therapy. I felt strong enough to have a good perspective. I had a good outcome and a positive outlook about recovery and progression to a healthy life. Then boom: grief, exclusion in the workforce, onset of epilepsy, invisible cognitive impairment, fear leading to anger, hyper vigilance…
I chose not to go Bacău’s I didn’t want to cry. It’s exhausting, it hurts, it’s vulnerable. I think I know enough to “fix” myself without going through that. Of course I am wrong about that.
Scared of the process ...the pain it brings up😢
I don’t wanna go to therapy because I don’t want to work on myself.
Oh how I understand as this was me for years.
Many people are very aware that they will have to unpack the suitcase full of messy things they’ve been dragging around & ignoring.
Yes it’s exhausting & a little scary.
And so is dragging that shit around.
It only gets heavier with age & there is a snowball effect.
One day you may find it impossible to carry the load.
So pain with the result of clarify & peace or pain that just lies below the surface, maybe feels numb much of the time & a dimmed life….thats guaranteed to go on for life.
If nothing changes nothing changes & it’s guaranteed to get worse.
And you CAN change & grow💪🤍
My favorite quote:
“The secret to happiness is freedom, the secret to freedom is courage”
-Thucydides
Wanted to sign up for your patreon, but it looks like the price per month is $100. Is this accurate?
a lot of BAD people with power control and personal issues (cluster B) go into therapy; the amount of unhealthy and unethical individuals who become licensed therapists is like above 50% in my experience. and the ones who get Harvard level college affiliations and write books and do research are the worst - often. only good ones are HUMBLE and careful. the business model implies marketing and sales (unethical in medicine in my opinion), and fostering a dependence (to get a long term paying client roster). some therapists develop literal cult leader like influence. most of my friends have been manipulated to aggress against their own family as the first thing by their therapist because it is the easiest thing for the therapist to do to gain favor and influence over their client.
Yes. Unethical Therapists. This exact scenario of fostering dependence you described happened to me, and 3 months later I’m still in a depressive spiral over it . After almost a year of trusting someone , tossing me out without even a goodbye. Never again
@ a good therapist - you feel neutral about stopping them and get some benefit from seeing them; bad therapist makes you dependent on them for their own needs; I had a family therapist on my bus tour who started slapping my butt without consent in front of girls to demean me in front of them.
Dr Honda, thank you so much for validating me 🥲 and for all the work that you do. You have changed my life.