psychology funfact: teens rebelling against their parents is honestly a really imprortant step to becoming an adult. When i was studying the topic i found that this is how its supposed to go: -someone has a child, and that child basically sees their parents as God. Everything they do, the child does. What they say, the child repeats, and the experiences they have go straight to the heart. Theres a strong bond between parent and child until about pre-teen years. -Once the child begins puberty, the hormones and changes theyre going through encourage them to become more critical of the world and reactive. They are at an age that theyve learned quite a bit, have started making friends, and hopefully, being exposed to new ideas and experiences outside of the home. Because of this and the general frusteration/ confusion that you go through during this time, it makes it to where the child starts to view their parents differently. They may realise that theyve made mistakes, or do/ say things the child doesnt agree with. At this point the child basically goes "wow, mom and dad. you really werent the perfect superheroes i always thought you were" and a slight bitterness may form. So the child continues to seek fufillment in other areas of their life (friends, sports, hobbies, school, etc.) -after a few years the child is now an older teen, or even young adult and they have changed alot, as well as learned alot. At this point there should be a sorta "ah-hah" moment, where they begin to understand their parents teachings. "I understand why you were so strict about ___" or "now I understand why you always pushed me to ___." There may still be a bit of bitterness, but an understanding is begining to form. -Finally the "child" is an adult, and they have had a chance to experience life the way theyre parents do. finacial responsibilities, jobs, college, loans, buying a home, finding love, having children, aches and pains, etc. and they have a new found sympathy for everything their parents have experienced, and likley agree with alot of the old lessons they used to hate. this brings the offspring back to the parents so they can apoligize or explain their ability to finally relate, and the bond between parent and offspring is much stronger, because both see each other on a deeper level. So ya see, its perfectly normal to have that "rebellious" phase growing up, and its actually really healthy for encouraging independence and critical thinking in a child. Without the natural push to go out and explore the world, youd basically only know and believe what your immediate family wanted you to. Which, when thinking about the grand scheme of life, wont get us very far. Having a natural drive to leave home and explore is what helps us all take different paths, learning individual lessons that we can then teach to others, without them having to experience it themselves. (also just wanna add, this is obviously not the way it always plays out. I dont need any replies about how "my parents were incredible, i never thought they did any wrong" or "my parents were hella abusive!" lol. Obviously not every family is going to follow this route, and if your story is different, thats valid to. Please no trauma dumping though lmao.
As an anthropologist, I would add that the societal environment also plays a huge role in parenting. How parents raise kids in China is vastly different from Austria for example, I am an ethnic Chinese raised in Austria. Developmental Psychology can give you a better understanding of a human being's mind or better a blueprint, but only consider psychology without thinking about the environmental factor is at least in my opinion as an anthropologist not enough to understand a human being. I'll take myself as an example, even though I grew up in Austria, my mum would still raise me like she was taught to by the environment she grew up, which of course didn't fit the Austrian society. Traditional Chinese Education doesn't exactly give a child much space to actually grow as an adult from start of the puberty to 18. The only time, I got the space to grow as an adult, was when I moved out, which was when I was 25. I stayed at my parent's place, because my university was only 10 minutes away. However, my partner, who is Austrian, was brought up completely differently and actually got the space to grow up like you mentioned in the development phase according to Developmental Psychology, because his parents were able to balance strictness and giving their kids the freedom they need to grow as an adult. This is something especially Asian parents lack and the childhood of many Asian kids are much more difficult.
@@MrsDaedalus_ yes 100%! this is a very "western-centered" route, and even then there are execeptions to it. I was actually thinking about the differences in other countries when writing this, but felt that would be too much to dive into (honestly surprised anyone read my comment with how long it is already lmao). Living in an individualist culture is very different than a collectivist one, and also families that have lived through war or those that left their homeland to seek a better life, are probably going to follow different steps :)
Kid taking his own life is so devastating. I can't even imagine guilt his parents feel. What if i stayed with him, what if i aloud him to stay home and don't go to school anymore, if i was more observant i would have noticed. Thoughts like that will haunt them
That's so heartbreaking the whole family did everything they could but in the end they still can't be at ease all they have is devestation and guilt 😢😢
I completely understand the family feeling hopeless and would completely dismiss their child possibly taking his own life from mental issues. It just sucks because teens can go through so much and not tell a single person, not give any signs to their parents. I know I was one of those teenagers. But whilst conspiracies are ‘fun’ to discuss and look for, I personally don’t see this case as foul play or another’s doing. Denial is real and I don’t fault his parents for questioning everything including the school, but I think it’s so dismissive to try and rule out his thoughts and stuff he left behind that showed a decline in mental health. Lord knows mental health awareness is a problem everywhere, especially when talking about teenagers and their parents or older adults in general, especially in POC communities where any mental disorder is stigmatized and looked down upon. And with such a scholar culture in China, I can’t imagine the pressure school kids have to go through alone, it’s the same in SK. Y’all it’s never too late to reach out and talk to someone, you never know what they might be going through. Be kind.
can the whole of Asia just evaporate the whole ranking system especially in East and South East Asian countries. It’s weird how normal it is that when a teenage/student dies we almost automatically assume that they took their own life because of academic pressure. Just had a junior hang herself on her bunk bed last year…
I think that it would have taken a lot of courage for the child to say I don't want to go to the school anymore and I'm struggling but I also feel that the parents response of not dismissing his feelings but trying to reassure him that he just started and the adjustment is gonna be difficult but he's always made it before and to not give up on himself is not an unreasonable response. But then if his personality is that he can't stand people being annoyed or disappointed in him that would have lead to him trying to put on the brave face and hide it from his family. Gonna give it the good old college try as they say. So they really would have had no way to know more than what he told them since they weren't seeing him everyday. It's just awful all around. I still don't understand how no one found him sooner, but...Also it is possible the cameras were down for reasons having nothing to do with his case but unlucky for them, it lined up with his disappearance. I could believe that.
Same happened in my country recently construction workers found woman's headless body when they where renovating the stadium. Investigation is on so fur we don't know anyrhing
This case hen i first watched it had me feeling a roller coster of emotions.....have a safe trip and im glad your still watching steph (can i recommend the dyatlov pass case she did it was my first steph video and i'm sure you'll love it)
Yooo stephanies titles be scary when you read them with no context
they're scary either way...😭
And with context they aren't??
psychology funfact: teens rebelling against their parents is honestly a really imprortant step to becoming an adult. When i was studying the topic i found that this is how its supposed to go:
-someone has a child, and that child basically sees their parents as God. Everything they do, the child does. What they say, the child repeats, and the experiences they have go straight to the heart. Theres a strong bond between parent and child until about pre-teen years.
-Once the child begins puberty, the hormones and changes theyre going through encourage them to become more critical of the world and reactive. They are at an age that theyve learned quite a bit, have started making friends, and hopefully, being exposed to new ideas and experiences outside of the home. Because of this and the general frusteration/ confusion that you go through during this time, it makes it to where the child starts to view their parents differently. They may realise that theyve made mistakes, or do/ say things the child doesnt agree with. At this point the child basically goes "wow, mom and dad. you really werent the perfect superheroes i always thought you were" and a slight bitterness may form. So the child continues to seek fufillment in other areas of their life (friends, sports, hobbies, school, etc.)
-after a few years the child is now an older teen, or even young adult and they have changed alot, as well as learned alot. At this point there should be a sorta "ah-hah" moment, where they begin to understand their parents teachings. "I understand why you were so strict about ___" or "now I understand why you always pushed me to ___." There may still be a bit of bitterness, but an understanding is begining to form.
-Finally the "child" is an adult, and they have had a chance to experience life the way theyre parents do. finacial responsibilities, jobs, college, loans, buying a home, finding love, having children, aches and pains, etc. and they have a new found sympathy for everything their parents have experienced, and likley agree with alot of the old lessons they used to hate. this brings the offspring back to the parents so they can apoligize or explain their ability to finally relate, and the bond between parent and offspring is much stronger, because both see each other on a deeper level.
So ya see, its perfectly normal to have that "rebellious" phase growing up, and its actually really healthy for encouraging independence and critical thinking in a child. Without the natural push to go out and explore the world, youd basically only know and believe what your immediate family wanted you to. Which, when thinking about the grand scheme of life, wont get us very far. Having a natural drive to leave home and explore is what helps us all take different paths, learning individual lessons that we can then teach to others, without them having to experience it themselves.
(also just wanna add, this is obviously not the way it always plays out. I dont need any replies about how "my parents were incredible, i never thought they did any wrong" or "my parents were hella abusive!" lol. Obviously not every family is going to follow this route, and if your story is different, thats valid to. Please no trauma dumping though lmao.
As an anthropologist, I would add that the societal environment also plays a huge role in parenting. How parents raise kids in China is vastly different from Austria for example, I am an ethnic Chinese raised in Austria. Developmental Psychology can give you a better understanding of a human being's mind or better a blueprint, but only consider psychology without thinking about the environmental factor is at least in my opinion as an anthropologist not enough to understand a human being. I'll take myself as an example, even though I grew up in Austria, my mum would still raise me like she was taught to by the environment she grew up, which of course didn't fit the Austrian society. Traditional Chinese Education doesn't exactly give a child much space to actually grow as an adult from start of the puberty to 18. The only time, I got the space to grow as an adult, was when I moved out, which was when I was 25. I stayed at my parent's place, because my university was only 10 minutes away. However, my partner, who is Austrian, was brought up completely differently and actually got the space to grow up like you mentioned in the development phase according to Developmental Psychology, because his parents were able to balance strictness and giving their kids the freedom they need to grow as an adult. This is something especially Asian parents lack and the childhood of many Asian kids are much more difficult.
@@MrsDaedalus_ yes 100%! this is a very "western-centered" route, and even then there are execeptions to it. I was actually thinking about the differences in other countries when writing this, but felt that would be too much to dive into (honestly surprised anyone read my comment with how long it is already lmao). Living in an individualist culture is very different than a collectivist one, and also families that have lived through war or those that left their homeland to seek a better life, are probably going to follow different steps :)
@@chattycatty3336 'teens rebellion .......to becoming an adult' . Until the brick wall of death blocks, every child becomes an adult .
Kid taking his own life is so devastating. I can't even imagine guilt his parents feel. What if i stayed with him, what if i aloud him to stay home and don't go to school anymore, if i was more observant i would have noticed. Thoughts like that will haunt them
That's so heartbreaking the whole family did everything they could but in the end they still can't be at ease all they have is devestation and guilt 😢😢
This chinese school stories be freakin me out fr 😬
Have fun on your trip and stay safe. 😊 Love your reaction
Second comment: this one is heartbreaking because the whole family and three generations are devastated and grieving
I completely understand the family feeling hopeless and would completely dismiss their child possibly taking his own life from mental issues. It just sucks because teens can go through so much and not tell a single person, not give any signs to their parents. I know I was one of those teenagers. But whilst conspiracies are ‘fun’ to discuss and look for, I personally don’t see this case as foul play or another’s doing. Denial is real and I don’t fault his parents for questioning everything including the school, but I think it’s so dismissive to try and rule out his thoughts and stuff he left behind that showed a decline in mental health.
Lord knows mental health awareness is a problem everywhere, especially when talking about teenagers and their parents or older adults in general, especially in POC communities where any mental disorder is stigmatized and looked down upon. And with such a scholar culture in China, I can’t imagine the pressure school kids have to go through alone, it’s the same in SK. Y’all it’s never too late to reach out and talk to someone, you never know what they might be going through. Be kind.
Rotten mango! I've missed your reactions to her.
I really love your videos of Stephanie
can the whole of Asia just evaporate the whole ranking system especially in East and South East Asian countries. It’s weird how normal it is that when a teenage/student dies we almost automatically assume that they took their own life because of academic pressure. Just had a junior hang herself on her bunk bed last year…
Omg yees another rotten mango , at night and afternoon when i want to sleep or take a nap i play sebastine video reacting to rotten mango to sleep 😂❤
Mee tooo always 😂😂😂
I think that it would have taken a lot of courage for the child to say I don't want to go to the school anymore and I'm struggling but I also feel that the parents response of not dismissing his feelings but trying to reassure him that he just started and the adjustment is gonna be difficult but he's always made it before and to not give up on himself is not an unreasonable response. But then if his personality is that he can't stand people being annoyed or disappointed in him that would have lead to him trying to put on the brave face and hide it from his family. Gonna give it the good old college try as they say. So they really would have had no way to know more than what he told them since they weren't seeing him everyday. It's just awful all around. I still don't understand how no one found him sooner, but...Also it is possible the cameras were down for reasons having nothing to do with his case but unlucky for them, it lined up with his disappearance. I could believe that.
Same happened in my country recently construction workers found woman's headless body when they where renovating the stadium. Investigation is on so fur we don't know anyrhing
This case hen i first watched it had me feeling a roller coster of emotions.....have a safe trip and im glad your still watching steph
(can i recommend the dyatlov pass case she did it was my first steph video and i'm sure you'll love it)
1:13:16 that sounds like a karen
Under 1h give it a ❤
under one min 👇
🎉
helloooo
Can u please do a jikook video I just started following u