The loneliness is so overwhelming but must be grieved. Learning to be with myself has been the most painful journey. Still some days are great & some days are sad & it’s okay. ❤️
For anyone reading this reply, I have to say I agree totally with your comment. I am a follower of Christ, and an older lady. Last year my whole world and relationship changed with my beloved daughter who turned against me a complete 180 degree turn around because of her narcissistic personality disorder. I was in total shock. Even to the point of trauma. I have learnt much about this disorder since, it’s a very vile demon. The tremendous loss and extreme loneliness I felt because of our broken relationship, when once it was a loving, very close respectful one, was as this man in this video mentioned. The pain was enormous. Only the Spirit of God in my Christian walk has been able to reach to the depths of the damage done within me, and bring healing, because this disorder is an ongoing battle with her. It is still a “work in progress”.But I believe God is helping me through.
I heard someone say that you have to worship something or someone greater than yourself, he was referring to christ. Take the attention away from yourself.
Within 3 months, one hip has just stopped moving and docs say I’m too young for this already but i gave 5-10 intervals throughout the day when i cannot walk. I do believe its stress and trauma related
Lies! I LOVE CRYING! It's so cathartic. Narcissistic people don't want to feel negative feelings. Aware people embrace all emotions because it's what gives us our humanity.
Yes! I've learnt there's no shame in crying I find it really cathartic myself & it's actually brought me so much closer intimately to my (non narc) fiancé. I used to bottle everything up like I was some super logical machine but hey it's not rational & we're all human 😊
Most people look for distractions to get away from unpleasant feelings. Very few can actually embrace crying, you're already one step ahead in mental health work you're doing with yourself ❤
I'm so glad someone said this, I LOVE to cry as well, when I was a child I got screamed at for crying, "What the f**k are you crying about b**ch, I'll give you something to cry about"
Seems to come in sections. Denial, Fear and feeling vulnerable, looking at the 2 sections of the split self, seeing this and feeing it , crying and feeling whole again. This may take several times depending on the trama but Ive noticed each time, the less I see this pattern and the more I see the whole me and the more progress I make. Getting past each section is a little mountain to climb. Denial is the biggest Mt. Hope to reach the summit and look at all the hills and valleys and feel good that my green biscuit will never be broken again. Making those leeps and bounds seeing progress is a good feeling. 😊 Thank you Richard.
I’m optimistic tho. I do feel stronger and kind of amaze myself sometimes at my ability to handle while being real with myself. Certainly improvement. Ty great message
every word here 🙏🏽 heartful thank you Richard. Thank you for all your work and sharing all these videos… you must know that all this is so so so helpful! I can’t thank enough. 🙏🏽 WIP. ps: Just out of a narc abusive marriage.
I finally, as hard as it is to believe that he could just use me like a piece of nothing and yet we were so bonded on his terms and now I am just being discarded. well I fought so hard through this discard and that was to his advantage. Now I am coming to terms with it. And as I am a lifer well he was to so he said, but now there is better than me. I doubt they will be but I think it will be his loss. Maybe not. He is still trying to manipulate it to his way but I have realized finally I am good enough and he can not convince me that I am not. And the friends we shared he is high up on forcing them to believe, but its not really working. They know. But sadly they act like its ok to them because he is showering them with perks. Thank you for this. I feel not alone. hugs
Richard, yes, we have to feel these emotions. Otherwise, we are hindering self growth. You should not fool with Mother Nature. Feel and think, not think and sink
Crying is healthy. Natural way of letting go of pain and attachment to feelings that are outdated.. Even after a brake up, or after losing a close person.. Even when i could not cry for a looong time, once a year my body was: come on, stop and sit with these emotions and deal with them, let it out of the body, clean the soul.. grief, sadness, extreme sadness, loneliness.. really hard emotions to bear long. if not acknowledged, recycled and let go, can make our body really ill..
During my healing my family got me drugged left for dead. Three years of weaning and threatened given ultimatums. Therefore I left them. Peace of mind freedom independence. Homeless for six months at a time. Slowly getting back on my feet. Drug induced fog did some crazy shit. I cry and laugh. Fog did neither. ❤😂🎉❤😂🎉😢😢😢
Is it possible to experience bouts of grief at different times? I grieved the end of the relationship and I was patient and healed the part of me who yearned for him, but it’s been 2 years now of no contact and I’m starting to feel the grief all over again as if the break up just happened. Why is this happening again? 😭
Its weird because ive never considered myself an incel before the end of my last long term relationship which lasted for 4 years with my ex girlfriend. She broke up with me 3 years ago and I havnt been on one date since then due to my confidence being eroded so much. Not that women come up to me and ever ask me out or rarely, bit before my last relationship I at least had the guts to put myself out there and risk rejection and potential humiliation and feelong like I am perceived as creepy or as imposter, but I am unable to do that anymore.
I do pray your confidence comes back. I feel for you. If you were dealing with any form of narcissism in your previous relationship it’s a very deliberate confidence destroyer. Think of the good relationships overall that you have, or even once had, and look to the good in that. And know that it’s not all your fault your relationship broke up. That there will be hope in you meeting someone again. I just felt to encourage you in that, coming from someone who is an older lady but who also knows the pain of rejection herself. But who knows it is a demon that can be overcome with the help of God. Give yourself sometime to heal. It’s not all lost.
As the lady above stated I'd just like to give you some hope. I'll explain my situation a bit: 'my' narc was my cyberstalker for nearly 2 years & he nearly broke up mine & my fiancés relationship; we were already in a sexless relationship (for a few reasons to do with me) & I seriously thought I was totally infatuated with this man at one point...he seemed intellectual, handsome...all the qualities I wanted in a man or a woman (I'm bisexual) but the whole darn thing was an illusion, a fantasy of his own making. Please, you owe it to yourself to put yourself out there & remember the endearing & unique qualities that make you, you. Women will actually find your level of insight & introspection very attractive indeed. You're not an imposter by any stretch of the imagination...please be kind to yourself. Do you have a good support network surrounding you? I can't say it's easy as I'm still grieving now & my fiancé even knows it but he's baring with me...people can be a lot more understanding than what you might think. The narc erodes your confidence in humanity (not that it's all rainbows) but there are decent, loving people out there who would love to get to know you.
It is now at age 64 after losing 3 babies leaving a narcissist husband who said"I am happy I don't have to feed them that i am starting to cry. 46 years of staying strong for my 3 children that lived. Now they are like him. Begging God to take me home.
I m so sorry for u. I feel u… i totally get u… just remember… the pain u face here makes u guaranteed heaven in the hereafter… where you will find your kids exactly the way you wanted them to be.
I really appreciate Richard being vulnerable - it helps normalise x
The loneliness is so overwhelming but must be grieved. Learning to be with myself has been the most painful journey. Still some days are great & some days are sad & it’s okay. ❤️
@carolbearce5:
Yes, but you grow. No pain. No gain.
We will find ourselves once again. As long as there are no toxic ones to have access to us.
I can totally relate
Totally agree. The loss and loneliness has to be faced. It turns into depression.
My grief is very real and I feel it so much and its emotional & physical and its so painful but I can't avoid it 🕊
I’ve been lonely for a long time and not grieved for losses and it’s showing in my overall health now
Only the power of the Father and the Son can make permanent changes within us as we work on things.
Amen
For anyone reading this reply, I have to say I agree totally with your comment. I am a follower of Christ, and an older lady. Last year my whole world and relationship changed with my beloved daughter who turned against me a complete 180 degree turn around because of her narcissistic personality disorder. I was in total shock. Even to the point of trauma. I have learnt much about this disorder since, it’s a very vile demon. The tremendous loss and extreme loneliness I felt because of our broken relationship, when once it was a loving, very close respectful one, was as this man in this video mentioned. The pain was enormous. Only the Spirit of God in my Christian walk has been able to reach to the depths of the damage done within me, and bring healing, because this disorder is an ongoing battle with her. It is still a “work in progress”.But I believe God is helping me through.
I heard someone say that you have to worship something or someone greater than yourself, he was referring to christ. Take the attention away from yourself.
Is that a porn duo? 😂
My grief and trauma turned into leukemia, and then a bone marrow transplant.
Within 3 months, one hip has just stopped moving and docs say I’m too young for this already but i gave 5-10 intervals throughout the day when i cannot walk. I do believe its stress and trauma related
❤
you HAVE to feel your pain
M so sorry Richard, sending you hugs from India and I am sorry for anyone/everyone going through and out narc relations…🙏🏽🙏🏽
So honest. Very well said. Thank you.
Lies! I LOVE CRYING! It's so cathartic. Narcissistic people don't want to feel negative feelings. Aware people embrace all emotions because it's what gives us our humanity.
Yes! I've learnt there's no shame in crying I find it really cathartic myself & it's actually brought me so much closer intimately to my (non narc) fiancé. I used to bottle everything up like I was some super logical machine but hey it's not rational & we're all human 😊
Most people look for distractions to get away from unpleasant feelings. Very few can actually embrace crying, you're already one step ahead in mental health work you're doing with yourself ❤
I'm so glad someone said this, I LOVE to cry as well, when I was a child I got screamed at for crying, "What the f**k are you crying about b**ch, I'll give you something to cry about"
Seems to come in sections. Denial, Fear and feeling vulnerable, looking at the 2 sections of the split self, seeing this and feeing it , crying and feeling whole again. This may take several times depending on the trama but Ive noticed each time, the less I see this pattern and the more I see the whole me and the more progress I make. Getting past each section is a little mountain to climb. Denial is the biggest Mt. Hope to reach the summit and look at all the hills and valleys and feel good that my green biscuit will never be broken again. Making those leeps and bounds seeing progress is a good feeling. 😊 Thank you Richard.
I identified I don’t and have been. Focusing on it. We shall see what the effect is.
I’m optimistic tho. I do feel stronger and kind of amaze myself sometimes at my ability to handle while being real with myself. Certainly improvement. Ty great message
👍
every word here 🙏🏽 heartful thank you Richard. Thank you for all your work and sharing all these videos… you must know that all this is so so so helpful! I can’t thank enough. 🙏🏽 WIP.
ps:
Just out of a narc abusive marriage.
I think there is a lot of value in this concept. I got a lot of comfort from the song "Learn to be Lonely" in Phantom of the Opera.
I knew. On some level I knew there was something wrong. FFS...I went out and bought a red sports car???
I wanted that feeling, it was glorious.
❤RIP Sweetly Rudeboy Sweetly RIP Sweetly Sweetly Blessed Sweetly ❤
Thank you
I finally, as hard as it is to believe that he could just use me like a piece of nothing and yet we were so bonded on his terms and now I am just being discarded. well I fought so hard through this discard and that was to his advantage. Now I am coming to terms with it. And as I am a lifer well he was to so he said, but now there is better than me. I doubt they will be but I think it will be his loss. Maybe not. He is still trying to manipulate it to his way but I have realized finally I am good enough and he can not convince me that I am not. And the friends we shared he is high up on forcing them to believe, but its not really working. They know. But sadly they act like its ok to them because he is showering them with perks. Thank you for this. I feel not alone. hugs
I’m trying so hard.
Richard, yes, we have to feel these emotions. Otherwise, we are hindering self growth. You should not fool with Mother Nature. Feel and think, not think and sink
I like to pray for you❤ richard
Crying is healthy.
Natural way of letting go of pain and attachment to feelings that are outdated..
Even after a brake up, or after losing a close person..
Even when i could not cry for a looong time, once a year my body was: come on, stop and sit with these emotions and deal with them, let it out of the body, clean the soul..
grief, sadness, extreme sadness, loneliness..
really hard emotions to bear long.
if not acknowledged, recycled and let go, can make our body really ill..
During my healing my family got me drugged left for dead. Three years of weaning and threatened given ultimatums. Therefore I left them. Peace of mind freedom independence.
Homeless for six months at a time. Slowly getting back on my feet.
Drug induced fog did some crazy shit.
I cry and laugh.
Fog did neither.
❤😂🎉❤😂🎉😢😢😢
💯
Where can i watch the full video?
👍👍👍👍👍👍
Is it possible to experience bouts of grief at different times? I grieved the end of the relationship and I was patient and healed the part of me who yearned for him, but it’s been 2 years now of no contact and I’m starting to feel the grief all over again as if the break up just happened. Why is this happening again? 😭
😊🙏🙏🙏
Its weird because ive never considered myself an incel before the end of my last long term relationship which lasted for 4 years with my ex girlfriend. She broke up with me 3 years ago and I havnt been on one date since then due to my confidence being eroded so much. Not that women come up to me and ever ask me out or rarely, bit before my last relationship I at least had the guts to put myself out there and risk rejection and potential humiliation and feelong like I am perceived as creepy or as imposter, but I am unable to do that anymore.
I do pray your confidence comes back. I feel for you. If you were dealing with any form of narcissism in your previous relationship it’s a very deliberate confidence destroyer. Think of the good relationships overall that you have, or even once had, and look to the good in that. And know that it’s not all your fault your relationship broke up. That there will be hope in you meeting someone again. I just felt to encourage you in that, coming from someone who is an older lady but who also knows the pain of rejection herself. But who knows it is a demon that can be overcome with the help of God. Give yourself sometime to heal. It’s not all lost.
As the lady above stated I'd just like to give you some hope. I'll explain my situation a bit: 'my' narc was my cyberstalker for nearly 2 years & he nearly broke up mine & my fiancés relationship; we were already in a sexless relationship (for a few reasons to do with me) & I seriously thought I was totally infatuated with this man at one point...he seemed intellectual, handsome...all the qualities I wanted in a man or a woman (I'm bisexual) but the whole darn thing was an illusion, a fantasy of his own making. Please, you owe it to yourself to put yourself out there & remember the endearing & unique qualities that make you, you. Women will actually find your level of insight & introspection very attractive indeed. You're not an imposter by any stretch of the imagination...please be kind to yourself. Do you have a good support network surrounding you? I can't say it's easy as I'm still grieving now & my fiancé even knows it but he's baring with me...people can be a lot more understanding than what you might think. The narc erodes your confidence in humanity (not that it's all rainbows) but there are decent, loving people out there who would love to get to know you.
It is now at age 64 after losing 3 babies leaving a narcissist husband who said"I am happy I don't have to feed them that i am starting to cry. 46 years of staying strong for my 3 children that lived. Now they are like him. Begging God to take me home.
I m so sorry for u. I feel u… i totally get u… just remember… the pain u face here makes u guaranteed heaven in the hereafter… where you will find your kids exactly the way you wanted them to be.
I finally cried and am starting feeling the healing ❤️🩹