Diane Spencer: Freaky Face Funtimes
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- Опубликовано: 20 окт 2024
- Not suitable for children. This was filmed live at The Backyard Comedy Club, Bethnal Green, London in May 2019. This video has subtitles burnt in.
Hi! My name is Diane Spencer, welcome to my channel! This is bit about the wonky left hand side of my face... !
If you enjoy it, please hit the "like" button, have a look around my channel and SUBSCRIBE for more content. My social media name is "dianespencerfun" on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
Music is "Dance" by Bensound, from Bensound.com
All comedy material copyright Diane Spencer 2019.
Thank you for watching/reading this far!
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I like this variation of the tusk story especially the "normal,normal,normal -Aaaaah" comparison. A good quick pointe. *thumbsup*
That's something I've started doing in the pandemic! I went to a bar with my mate, and everything was fine - distanced, but still normal feeling, until I went to the toilets, then it was all covid black and yellow tape, warning signs, hand sanitisers, capital letters... I was like wow "normal, normal, normal, normal AAAAAARGH!!!"
Lovely routine. Funny as always! Symmetry is a large part of "beauty", even with "tusks".
That was fantastic I still swear you're the best comedian ever walk I love everything you do and tell everyone I know cuz I watched you you're the best I love it
Thanks LittleJoe! You're very kind. I'm glad you like my stuff and I'm super happy it brightens your day :)
Words right out of my mouth! Diane needs to have a show in Las Vegas!
A ginger walrus. Just when I thought I had heard it all 😂🤣😂🤣
Thanks Diane! You were firing on all cylinders with this bit.
Thanks Craigie :)
I LOVE THIS BIT!!!!!!!
LOL! Thanks Heather :D
@@DianeSpencercomedian Your welcome! Thank you 😊 for soldiering on.
This women deserves a special far more than amy shcumer and such, she’s actually funny.
Thank you Chris - humour is so personal isn't it?
@@DianeSpencercomedian sure, I find a lot of shit funny that others just look at me weird for. But there are definitely comedians out there that just flat ass suck and they get netflix specials. I just happened to run across your clips the other day and just thought wow, shes ten times funnier than the ones they are all trying to prop up right now.
"make me a monocle......namaste" im ded ............hahahahahahahahaha
Uh yes - classic Diane Spencer right here. And still hilarious 😂
Thanks Lui :)
Normal, normal, normal, normal...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! :)
Seriously, I pissed myself laughing, and I have seen this before!
Always funny. Thanks. Tell Kevin that I think he is a lucky man...
Thanks Robert :)
Thank You!
Your work blessed my partner who has turned her side of the bed into a broadcast studio teaching Anthropology classes while I try to sleep...
Posting on Facebook!
Wow! Well, I mean that's kinda cool - not cool you can't sleep, but online anthropology - wow! Thanks for sharing Don
Wonderful! Always a joy to find a new upload of Diane's much needed laughter-inducing art. As someone who has a lifelong affliction with not having a budget for health-related thingies, this set speaks in droves! 🌸💞
70 pounds?! 35 pounds.... XD I'm so happy you enjoyed this. I hope you are as well as can be, and seeing the brighter things in life shine through.
One non-working eye, an x-tra fang-tooth and a ginger to boot. You truly are a freak of nature. A wonderful, hilarious endearing freak that the world is lucky to have. Don't ever change, unless it's to grow a third foot or something.
Cheers,
Ragnar
LOL! Thanks Ragnar - that's my merch... monacle and a sock for your third foot XD
I remember this bit from one of your full show sets , still made me laugh too , Thanks for that , stay safe - you and the Mr .
Warm internet hugs to you from Canada ;-)
This is an evolved set which started off in All-pervading madness. It used to contain the whisker bit, but has changed over time, and could be the subject of one of those videos like that birth pool evolution one. Good memory you!
@@DianeSpencercomedian I recently made a comment suggesting you focus on new material, while I was trying to honor your Mum's perpetual double entendres, and I have to say even though I also saw this earlier you have evolved it and squeezed quite a few additional laughs out of me. Bravo!
All comedians don't use completely fresh material each time they go on stage, search on youtube for "robin Williams USO" and you can watch the funniest man that ever lived do roughly the same set over 5 or 6 years, although tailored to the audience.
This one of my favourite segments from your set, it reminds me to regularly clear my browser history
Lol!
Brilliant , thank you 💖
Glad you enjoyed it!
Fantastic routine! Sadly, it is so very true, so many pervs. I laughed my head off...hard to get glue to re-attach i in a lockdown though! Many Blessings to you :-)
Haha! NO! LOL! Keep your head glued on! Thank you :) Same to you - look after yourself
"I shouldn't have gone" what a perfect puchline.
A day which features a new video from Diane Spencer is always a good day! Keep on plugging away, Diane - my wish for you is an HBO comedy special some day!
Thanks Brian - you never know right? :)
Ker-ker-kootchu: You dirty mammoth! Jesús, that's funny.
🤣🤣🤣
You are a delight sir. Also... I have got the venue to film the next show in Sept! Will be sharing the good news soon. :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian
I'll Tweet away.
A brief dose of Di, much appreciated.
Keep us informed of your evolution into an Orc, although I think we've run out of Tolkien movies to film.
Stay safe xx
Haha! I'm sure some Celtic fairytale of a tusky hound who makes pancakes will be made soon. Perhaps Marvel will be interested?! Thanks for your good wishes, you stay safe too
Absolutely hilarious Diane, thanks for the laughs, stay awesome!
Thanks Scott :)
Thank you, Lady Di. Please keep healthy and merry.
Thanks Anzan - you too
You slay me! Even without tusks.
Having the single tusk would've been handy as a bottle cap opener
YES MATE
Also i was thinking it would have been useful for "Shotgunning" your GnT cans... just pierce and pull.. life of the party !!!
Two was better.....could open one for my best girl at the same time....cuts down the down time.
Phil Johnson alas GnT cans hadn’t been invented......and I would’ve been puncturing the bottoms!
Fabulously bizarre as always, I love your work. Thank you for sharing.
You're very welcome :)
Excellent as usual Diane.👍💟😁
Thanks Mark!
Lots of love Di! Stay safe!
Thank you :) You stay safe too!
Wonderful!
You are a great comedian.
Thank you ever so much David! Sorry it took me so long to reply.
YOU ARE A GOD DAMN ICON! I LOVE YOU!
LOL! You're kind, I am a wonky walrus lady, and you warm my heart
Diane Spencer Stand-up Comedian sweetie! Me god damn too! You are the best! Will you be doing any shows in Australia? As it would be super awesome to see you out here! Otherwise you can bet I’ll be on a plane to the states within the next 2 years haha
might just be her best bit to date... coo coo cachoo indeed...
I'm glad you like it :)
Yooo Had to pause the video for a good 8 minutes while I recovered from "Koo koo K choo you Dirty Mammoth" XD the lady has all my love :P Excited to watch you become more popular before you catch yourself some Netflix :D
LOL! Thank you :) Netflix would only ever make my tusk programme... XD
The second best monocle bit I've heard is that a British officer in Egypt during WW1, wearing a monocle was confronted on the parade ground by lines of Australians with pennies in their eyes. He threw his monocle up in the air, caught it in his eye, then turned to the parade and roared, ‘All right, you bastards, let’s see you do that. That's from Australia - A Biography of a Nation by Phillip Knightley but the internet doesn't know who the officer actually was. If you keep the vids coming I'll keep watching them. Someday I'll get to one of your shows.
I like that story! Thank you for sharing
It's 3am😂 I knew it was coming😂 I tried to think of my neighbours but still belly laughed a baby awake in another block😂❤
Oh no! Well, I mean, I'm delighted you laughed so much! But waking baby.... noooo! lol
A beautifully funny update on the story. Can’t fucking WAIT for your next show 😘 Lots of love to you, Lord Voldemort, 3PO & Keith
Thanks gorgeous Tracy - I hope you're okay. xx
I was an Optician at an early point in mu life. That monicle joke never gets old. "Oh, I only have one good eye you say, should the eye exam be at 50% off then?".
YES! Lol! I was a host for an opticians conference once, and what I learnt was that I NEVER picked the right spot with an appropriate amount of light to read! Every time I sat down, someone would kindly let me know I should probably find a place with more light XD
How is it that everything Di talks about funnels down in the end to some sort of filth? I love it, by the way. Everything should filter down to filth - it's the common denominator, isn't it? I simply don't always know how, but Ms. Spencer is here to save the day and show us that connection. Ya dirty mammoth!
Haha!! I love the lowest common denominator because it is actually what unites us. Our ability to objectively stand aside from nature, the animals, the filth, procreation and animalistic urges whilst acknowledging they are real and can completely wreck any industrious, divine efforts we make is something that makes me chuckle!
thank god she's back
Hello John! Oh I rarely go anywhere these days :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian hi babe I am self isolating as well but when it's over I shall be at your gig wherever it be stay safe
yeah ! another video! stay in good health and take care
You too
"Dirty mammoth" holy shit XD why does that make sense that it _would_ happen
Cos as we all know, there's something out there for everyone :D
Diane,
As always you are a hoot!
Love your stuff, hey I don't know about the tusk thing but a cute redhead lassie with tusk, hey I don't know I might just go for her. . . . 😊 but the whole headache thing kinda puts a damper on that. We have enough pain in this life.
Keep on smiling sweet heart,
Blessings David
Hi David, I'm glad you liked it! Thankfully I am all fixed in the teeth now, so will keep on smiling :) Take care and all the best
I've never had to imagine a ginger walrus before, thanks for that. Still hope to catch a show someday, providing our little apocalypse runs its course in the US here, hope you are staying relatively sane and safe across the pond.
I am well thanks Justin - one day they will re-open the comedy clubs, and that will be a wonderful moment. Stay safe too!
Too funny!! Hopefully after lockdown you will be in the Nottingham area at some point, would love to see you live! Especially if you wear a monocle!
I did the Leicester Comedy festival before the lockdown! And I do perform at Just the Tonic Nottingham, plus some of the Funhouse gigs, so hopefully when they're up and running I'll be coming back.
wait a minute did you say you're 38? That's unbelievable.
Anyways, this was really hilarious, loved it.
Thank you! This was filmed in May 2019, so I'm 39 now lol :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I totally think you should breed. :) I think you are a creative genius and a gift to planet Earth, and I will love both you and your work till the day I die. Which being optimistic generally I hope is a long way off. I've started a gentle and polite bombardment of the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Namaste bay-beee. I have the honour of remaining, your most humble servant, Simon.
Hi Simon! LOL! MICF don't know what they're in for! You're very kind. I hope you're staying safe and well.
Killed me, as usual!
Hilarious, loved it
Thank you :)
Since I finally explored what 'share' meant, you may have a few new fans in the US.
Awesome - thank you Donald :)
Diane has a _LOT_ of fans in the US- but thanks for making it more worth her while to tour here.
Thank You Amazing Woman 💗
Hi Fredrik! You're most welcome :) Stay well
Rubbing one out to the walrus lady, and the best part............ she’ll take a hot load to the face
But seriously, why has Netflix not offered you a special........ You are much funnier than some of the people
They’ve had on recently
Hahahah!! I like what you did there... Hot load comment erm... 43 I want to say? LOL! Netflix don't know I exist. But they would make my tusk programme I reckon.
Well perhaps it's time your fans petition Netflix, or HBO, or Comedy Central, or Just for Laughs..... Your comedy is extremely enjoyable, however, most Americans / Canadians won't get the ginger stuff, we don't discriminate against Gingers.....
Okay, DI, as always your hilarious as usual! Glad to see your still around an doing, I hope Healthy! :) Looks like maybe things will start re-opening soon! Cross our Fingers an Toes! :) Maybe Legs too! Lol! :) Anyway, looks like I might be on my own, not sure if that contract, I'd had, is going to go off! Remember, I was supposed to be back on the road myself, here in like a week. Not sure how all this Covid-19 "stuff", is going to affect it now! We'll see. Might still be stuck, here at the house! How's things looking their for you love? May 1st or the 15th y'all looking to Re-open also? Stay Safe an Stay Healthy you guys! :) Great Video, as always! :)
Hi Kevin, I'm glad you liked the video! At the moment I have no idea what's going to occur here in the UK. I mean, we're definitely in lockdown till the end of April, and there aren't any pubs or clubs open at all, the live comedy industry is on pause, possibly till September. I do remember you were going to visit... I hope you manage to find out what you're doing soon and how it'll affect you. Hang in there buddy.
@@DianeSpencercomedianSo great to hear back from you Diane! :) Their just starting to talk about "Re-Opening" SOME "Non-Essential" Businesses here in the States. Some as early as THIS FRIDAY! However, after hearing about ANOTHER 30 year old woman in Atlanta, Georgia, (just read the article this morning!) WITH NO-PRE-EXISTING Conditions, Dying from this thing, just yesterday! I believe "That Talk" might be just a bit, premature! My sister got a "Mild Case" in Dallas, Texas. She is COMPLETELY Recovered now, however! Do you know anyone who has contracted this Covid-19 Virus? So you hang in there too! Stay Safe an Stay Healthy as well ! :)
Koo koo kachoo 🤣
I wish you'd come to the states.
I would love to come, but I need to work out how to make it work financially, until then I'll keep broadcasting from Ye Olde England :)
Fabulous
Koo koo ca choo you dirty mammoth is one of the things that is so funny it might cure corona
If only matey :)
I need to watch this a few times to come up with a really toothsome comment.
It's a challenge to sink your teeth into.
Diane Spencer Stand-up Comedian your show title "wit charm & filth" declares loudly what it is that i find attractive about you. You call yourself a stand-up comedian and i call you a stand-out comedic artist. I prefer not to be interested in celebrities nor other men's wives but for you i could make an exception.
Yay, a new bit! (comment on the video: For some reason the sub-titles "skewed the timing" from yours, it made the video less great, don't know if that's a general issue or only my problem. All great fortunes to you!)
Hmm... I wrote the subtitles, and they seem to be in time when I review the video, so I'm not sure. Do you have it on the RUclips subs? Thank you for your good wishes :) All the best luck to you
@@DianeSpencercomedian For me I couldn't help but read the subtitles before you delivered them, that way you didn't come with a surprising twist or snappy punchline, you were only saying what I just read. You became much funnier when I hid the subtitles!
@@KitagumaIgen I put the subs on because the sound is sometimes not the best and so the words are hard to hear. If it is not giving you the best experience, I would definitely watch without so you get the surprises.
@@DianeSpencercomedian I wonder if there are some rule-of-thumb in the subtitleing trade that the they should come a little bit late compared to the audio?
I hope your Gin stocks are holding up Lady Di ! All the best
Well... hilariously, I have lots of gin, and have run out of mixers... am contemplating the frozen raspberries in the freezer, surely something can be done with them...
@@DianeSpencercomedian My wife would say blitz them in a blender and slosh the gin in
@@Toodyayglass Message received! Ta!
"Koo Koo Ka Choo you dirty mammoth !"
i seriously wasn't expecting that one XD !!!
Edit : Does that mean now we will have jokes of mammoth , monocle , penguins and loads to the face now ?
Its going to be pretty tough to fit all that into one joke !
Ha! I'm sure people will wrangle it in there somehow XD
You're a funny lady
Thank you Lenny :)
Tusks out for the lads.
Lol! Call The Sun...
Just a quick line to say hello, I love you, this is funny. Sorry for being so distant but I'm old, what can I say.lol How have you been getting along? You are safe and doing well, right? Hope so. I'd hate to lose you. Keep it up sweetie, I'm loving it.
Hi Randall! I am well thank you. Do not worry about being distant :) I am safe and well thank you. Following the lock down instructions, and doing what I can, as I hope most people are. Stay safe and well :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian yes ma'am. We all must do our part. Good to know you are well and safe. Loving you from Georgia.
LOL
Hilarious
Thank you so much!
yup new material~
u no longer post 1hr video???
This is part of my clubset. It actually originated in All-pervading madness - so "nope, not new material".
If you listen to what I say in the behind the mic videos, you'll know that I am writing 1 hour long show - the next one is called Show 9, but it is not ready. It takes time to write them. I also want to record it in front of a live crowd, which is not possible due to the lockdown restrictions.
Fuck yes!! Love you di!!!
Dark Goten! Thank you :D
3
Hi Friiqi!
Why hello Dianne, we must be related, I have astigmatism in my left eye and ......wait for it.....two tusk teeth (supernumeraries) maybe that’s why people call me Pumba ,mine are on my bottom.........jaw, still got one! And until I was 9 I used to walk through bethnel green regularity..
Supernumeraries?! I had no idea that was their name! Have you been to the comedy club in Bethnal green? It's very good.
Diane Spencer Stand-up Comedian no I haven’t I was only 9 when we emigrated to NZ my Dad was a kiwi pilot in ww2. We lived not far from there in Selsdon
I promise I wouldn’t break one off to a walrus ginger.
Again.
LOL!!
That a true story? 😅
Hi Daniel, yes on the eyesight, yes on the operation - actually had two, because the first one didn't work, NO on the timeline :) This happened years ago, not "recently" as stated, but I amend for artistic purposes... "The other day" is never "the other day" when a comedian says it. It's usually about 10 years LOL!
Diane Spencer Stand-up Comedian
Wow, never heard of that. (Tusks) Funny story but at the same time interesting. As always, love seeing your content. 🤗
@@drvinson8947 I don't think it would've broken through the skin bit it was growing the wrong way, up my face 😂
Diane, It's May 11th "stranger" where have you been darling? Worried about you. How's things going for you? Still stuck in complete Lockdown from Covid-19. What's happening? No up loads in awhile??? Hope your Staying Safe an Staying Healthy! :)
Hi Kevin, I'm here all the time, just working on a new video. They take me time, as it's another "Behind the Mic" one. It's May 13th as I write this, so the lockdown has been partially lifted, but there aren't going to be any comedy clubs for a while yet. It's not been an easy time, mentally speaking, but I'm still making stuff and might do a live video too. As a fan of people on RUclips, I get how frustrating it can be when someone you like hasn't uploaded in a while :) Still want to make sure what I DO give you is something I'm proud of. I hope you're staying safe and healthy too :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian Hi Diane, So wonderful to hear you an yours are okay and healthy! I really didn't care to much about your You Tube Videos! (Although, that's nice to hear!) No I was just concerned about how You were doing an Health of your family an so forth! My Sister in Dallas, Texas Got Infected with Covid-19 about a Month ago or so! She was infected by a friend's "Care Package" sent to her from California! Yes, that's right, from a CARDBOARD BOX. Granted, she had just healed up from an Infection about a month prior to her getting Covid-19. But she's so paranoid "Normally" about Germs, she was wearing Masks an Gloves, when going outdoors, as soon as she first heard about it! She was infected by what was "Considered" a "Mild Case" and yet, for about 5 Days or so for the three weeks an "Change" she had it, she said she could NOT Breath very well at all. When she phoned the hospital in Rockwall, Texas, they told her to STAY Home, so she didn't get it WORSE from the Covid-19 Patients already there! Same with Dallas. I guess it was the right call by the doctors though! Because she healed up and is fine now! But she thinks a friend of hers who did die, died of Covid-19, about a Month before her infection! They were not testing yet for it, on Dead Bodies! But I digress! Anyway, so I've been getting in touch with my Friends, (On You Tube, and others) Worldwide, especially those such as yourself, who I haven't seen hide nor hair of, in awhile, making sure everyone's staying Safe an Staying Healthy! So I'm so very glad to hear you are doing very well. Keep Safe an Healthy! They are Slowly, Painfully, lifting some of the restrictions in phases here too. Some sooner than others! But you are very right Bars, Clubs, Theaters, Cinema, etc, etc! All are either still staying closed in many areas or opening for limited hours and to in some cases ONLY 25% of Capacity, with Masks an Gloves Mandatory! Yes, I CAN RELATE On being Hard Mentally! In that respect, "Lockdown has been Bloody Hell"! But Hey, talking about "Lockdown" did you see Mick and Keith's Brand New Tune? They actually almost "Crashed" You Tube! Over 6 Million Views on their You Tube Channel since they released it. It's called: "Living in a Ghost Town" ! Excellent song! Just go to the " Rolling Stones" You Tube Channel, IF U haven't heard it yet! Cool Tune! :) FYI. Anyway, take care, good to hear back from you. :) It's the Afternoon of the 13th of May here! You I believe are around Midnight! So going on to tomorrow already! Lol! :) Anyway, like I said; Stay Safe and Stay Healthy! :)
@@kevinsunderman4432 wow, that was a proper letter! Thank you! I'm very glad your sister recovered. It's horribly ironic she got it from a care package?! I am keeping an eye on the time s, as if I do a live stream I think the majority of people who enjoy my work are in the States, so if would make sense to pick one of your time zones. We'll see what happens in Britain. I'm not rushing outdoors, as being a comedian and a ginger person, I have no business being out there 😁👍 stay safe buddy
@@DianeSpencercomedian Yeah I know a bit long! Lol! Thank you for reading it! : I wasn't sure on the times! Yes, the Irony does not escape my Sis or me, on that!! Oh, an just because your a "Ginger Person, doesn't mean you have to be a Vampire you know! Lol! Just use more Sun Block!!! LMAOl!! :) Anyway, thank you for the additional reply! Glad you are doing well. :)Stay Safe an Stay Healthy Darling! :)
I want to meet whomever put that sign up.
LOL! The Backyard? Great comedy club - love it there :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian Yeah. I'm sure you were saying hilarious things, you always do, but all I could concentrate on was the sign not being level. Will have to "listen only" to the video again to find out what you said...
It's a shame you can't attach pictures in YT comments... I have something perfect for this video...
Lukasz!! DM me please! Yeah!
@@DianeSpencercomedian whatever it was, post it!!
I love you! I hope you are coping in this catastrophe. #TrumpTASTROPHE Governor Cuomo insisted my shop could keep working. I had to cut up an old T-shirt and make a mask. So I have that while nurses and doctors are getting infected in full medical gear. When it's safe to come out of your bomb shelter please make a new show we all need to roll around the floor laughing.
Hi Charles, I am coping - it's certainly an "un-presidented" situation! That's the best pun I could come up with, despite it being naff :) Any face covering is better than none I would say. If you know anyone who sews, I've been making these: freesewing.org/docs/patterns/fu/instructions/ they're pretty good. I wrote show 9 and was previewing it, when all this happened. Now it feels odd, but yeah, I'll definitely make a new show, it might just take an extra few months. I miss performing in front of a live crowd, so will be super excited when that happens again. Stay safe and well :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian Thank you. You too.
Wait, you're basically saying that you skipped on the possibility to become the first half-tusked, bemonocled, REAL supervillainess?!
Diane! How could you!?
Haha! That's what I've lead you ALL to believe and my plan is working... oop, just had to wipe a bit of dribble there, from my tuskril... basically a third nostril...
I wonder if it's long enough to maybe hang the monocle on the tip if you don't need it. Wouldn't that be cool? You'd just have to learn a special, sudden head move to throw the glas up and catch it with .. erm, whatever the area around the eye you scrunch a bit to hold the monocle is called.
I'd applaud. That's true dedication to a cery unique form of art.
I'm telling you: A pub named The Tusk and Monocle. It's a million £ idea. 🧐🦏 🍸