Living rural America and not being a Christian, conservative, or a cowboy it has become close to unbearable. Why would I want to share my life with someone who doesn’t look at me as a human being. This isn’t about a difference in politics this is about a difference in morality and ethics.
That is exactly why, tho, the dating inquiry into someone’s politics is arbitrary and reductive. Ask the questions that matter, don’t just reduce to how someone votes. I don’t like the idea of asking politics bc it reduces a segment of society into a monolith that they’re simply not. That’s just a media portrayal. I think it’s more important to ask the questions of values at their core and go from there
And that’s coming from living Deep South for years, Boulder Colorado and Denver for years, and central Texas (Austin and San Antonio). Places of extremes and nuance. Ppl ignore nuance bc it requires effort, but that’s just abdication.
@@tonydaughtrey and that’s just one example in an ocean of them. Long story short: those who reduce entire segments of populations into stereotypes and convenient notions risk becoming some of the worst ppl in the world. It’s a tool of populism to create a shared enemy and I find it dangerous that both sides are content to paint the other into a predetermined picture. Individual values are what should guide. That’s why when I dated I didn’t ask for politics, but I made very clear I’m an atheist and practicing abortion advocate (had one before and thought it was a funny way to word)
@@seanlinehan1136 some of us have no time for (for example) Republicans that say they aren't mysogenists or racists. It's up to you who you vote for and if you vote for the party of Trump, Green etc you 100% are supporting those things. Reductive it may be, but vote liberal if you don't have ridiculous views either way. It's what liberal means. If you are very left, there are politicians for that and expect to be called a socialist... if you are very right, then that says a lot about you whether you like it or not.
@@seanlinehan1136 with all due respect, how someone votes DOES equal their core values. We are living in a time now where average people are more informed about politics and world events than ever. If someone even says to me that they vote Republican but only because they are “fiscally conservative” or whatever, to me that doesn’t say they actually do care about women’s rights and lgbtq+ rights and climate change etc, it says they care about money more than they care about human rights because they are voting alongside human rights violations for monetary reasons. You could use this vague sense of “it isn’t the whole story” about 15-20 years ago because people just weren’t as informed. I also have a rural background and even there, people know better. They just don’t care about things that I care about and it’s evidenced by the way they vote.
I used to think, “I can overlook some political issues, to each their own,” even in friendships, but as I have gotten older and things have changed, I realize that if you don’t share most of my politics you simply don’t share my core beliefs and there is no “I can overlook this.” I just don’t have the convenience of overlooking things like that, and I don’t think a relationship across the aisle can last unless you either don’t care (and are lucky enough that it doesn’t impact you) or you love to argue and delude yourself into thinking you can change someone.
I agree with you, because these days, depending on what they believe, a person's politics say way more about them than just their politics! More than a few political groups these days are incredibly extreme and their "politics" include some horrible ideas that go beyond what we used to means by politics! In order to be a Trump supporter, you've got to either be racist or really really ok with voting for the same candidates as racists! You've also got to be ok with insulting the women, minorities, disabled people and LGBTQ people (or standing next to and cheering on people who do this) using horrible terms that no one should ever feel comfortable let alone proud of calling another human being just because the didn't vote for the same person you did. In order to be a Trump supporter you've also chosen to believe not just unreliable sources, but sloppy illogical ones and ignore even the most basic standards of evidence just because you don't like the results! So really supporting these "politics" says more about a person than just their politics. Being Trump supporter implies a level of egoism, bigotry, lack of critical thinking skills, and lack of basic social skills that would make any relationship with such a person a huge pain! But lets say you meet a Trump supporter who doesn't go to rallies or put up insulting yard signs. There you've got someone who may not entirely believe all the horrible things the more unhinged Trump supporters say and do, but is perfectly ok overlooking these things for the sake of their own views! They don't care how much other Trump supporters and Trump himself may hurt others so long as they get something out of it too! (And, let's be entirely honest, the fact that they still support Trump despite all the things he and his louder followers say and do, probably means they agree a whole lot more of the horrible stuff than they will publicly admit.) Seriously, with all the difficulty evolved in even the most loving relationships, who would want all the unnecessary baggage that comes with that!
True libertarianism isn't too terrible, small government and everyone's got their own autonomy. But the new age libertarians are just closeted Trumpers.
The thing that really gets me about Libertarians is their rosey egotistical view of the world and their place in it. They think that things will just work out if there are no rules and always imagine themselves as strong, thriving, attractive, and wealthy in this imaginary lawless eutopia. They never imagine themselves hungry, poor, or swindled by all those other "superior" people. Libertarianism is pretty much the equivalent of a frustrated highschool sophomore yelling about how they are better than everyone else and everyone would see that if it wasn't for all the rules!
As a Black woman, I don't have the luxury of overlooking politics when someone's beliefs may involve being dismissive or outright hostile when I'm discussing things that directly affect me or other marginalized groups. I can agree to disagree on everyday things, like what's the best ice cream flavor or who's the best spice girl, but if someone I'm interested in supports a group/ideology that believes it's ok to dehumanize my people, I can't look past that, and it's not my responsibility to "teach" them.
Thank you! I have been thinking that the whole time watching this. Their "Just hear them out and smile more" advice comes from quite a privileged (white cis-het) position. Im not going to waste my time hearing people out that want to invalidate my existence. There is not a single reason for their -isms and -phobias or (their denial of its existence) that is even remotely ok, and neither is supporting it.
Idk why people pretend being friends with someone with differing political beliefs is a virtue. It’s not like you have different sports teams - your politics represents your core beliefs. If you don’t think those matter it’s only because you have the privilege (or think you do) of not being concerned about what will happen to your safety when the government changes.
Exactly!! People that don’t believe in human rights and equity should be called out, their friends shouldn’t be looking the other way or pretending not to notice their intolerance
It depends how far they diversify. Different religious / political stances that still respect other points of view do exist but there is an increase in deliberate division which increases toxicity and hatred and I'm not sure how to reverse it.
Because friendship is more than political beliefs. Are you serious ? The core beliefs of friendship are trust and honesty. If you lean Left, and your new friend also leans Left, do you think there's a guarantee they wont betray you ? Does holding that poltiical belief prevent that situation from happening ? Core political beliefs are irrelevant in relationships. Maybe if you and your friends think about poltiics all the time, then I guess.
@@Mr.Coffee576 Everything is political, if you don’t know that then you’re not paying attention, because you’re one of those people who have the privilege of not worrying that those politics will effect them.
At this point, my family and community is too full of diverse people I love for me to date someone who is anti-LGBT or a religious supremacist or ethnic supremacist or nationalist or is callous towards the poor and working class. I need someone who has empathy and sees the humanity in others and their political views and the policies they vote for show it.
@@LindaC616 how do you figure? I view it as, if youre empathetic and seeing the humanity, then your not like passing judgment until the person deserves it.
@@LindaC616 It's not exactly stereotyping. If my values are: Ending White Supremacism, No Misogyny, No Homophobia, No Transphobia, Prioritizing the Working Class and helping the Poor, Protecting Women's Reproductive Rights, A Secular State with Cultural Diversity and Inclusion, Police Reform, Ending the War On Drugs, Ending Prison Industrial Complex and Military Industrial Complex....it is pretty clear after one simple conversation about what political candidates and policies the person support, where they fall and whether our values align.
I have always said it takes a 30 min or less conversation for me to know if I can get along with anyone. Close minded, Selfish, Disrespect, Guns, or Religion are all key factors I simply cannot and never will try to relate to, but I will Never say they don't have a right to be someone's personal ideal or life practice.
I don't know if love can endure through political divide.. unless you enjoy arguing and being frustrated by someone's core beliefs.. especially if they're dead set.. and not willing to change their minds.. or you just don't talk about politics..
I had a colleague who did that with her husband of many yrs. She is/was Dem (alzheimer) and he's raging Rep. I asked her about 20 yrs ago how they handled it, and she said "we don't talk about it "
Liz is separating ‘issues’ and ‘politics’, i.e. abortion. If your partner agrees with you that abortion should be legal but votes republican, then their “beliefs” are moot. They are working to put people into power whose stated purpose is to yank body autonomy from EVERYONE, starting with women.
I don't believe human rights are debatable and I need someone who shares my core values. My husband and I sometimes disagree about taxes or policies (both dems) but I couldn't be with someone who is ok with my medical freedoms being revoked, would disown our future children if they were a part of the LGBTQ community, or had a general lack of empathy / critical thinking skills.
I'm only halfway through, but have to say.. intentions don't matter. I'm not imagining what the other person's intentions are. I only care about what they're doing and if they decide to stick with it, even after I've explained that it's a problem. A person does something that harms me, or the people I care about? I obviously can't abide by them. And well, if you vote for a party that explicitly states goals that will harm me and people I care about, then I can't be friends with you. So yeah I don't understand dating someone across the aisle. I can understand how it worked in the past, considering the parties used to be a bit more aligned and most people didn't care too much about what happens to minorities, so that wouldn't be a dealbreaker to many back then.
I don’t think I could date across the isle. I feel politics are your core beliefs and if you don’t believe in LGBTQ+ rights, free healthcare, comprehensive POC education, the right for a woman to choose, etc. or you vote against it just because you don’t like taxes or dems, you’re actively voting against making my life better. I feel the other side is not very empathetic and that’s a turnoff already. Also when you think about possibly having children I do not want to argue about how to raise the child on every issue. I will talk to someone across the isle but I cannot intertwine my whole life with them. I cannot risk their views not changing.
Honestly, over time my politics changed more to match my partner's views. When we spoke/argued about politics, it wasn't just some stranger sharing their views with me, it was someone who loved me, made sacrifices for me, stood up for me, forgiven me, cared about me and was building a life with me sharing their views with me. This was someone who had shown over and over that they cared deeply about me talking about the things they believed and cared about. We both changed our views based upon how much we love and enjoy being with eachother. We may not always vote the same way, but our politics changed because of how we feel about eachother and not the other way around.
@@THATBOISHAD Yes, but my personal relationship with my significant other is about me and them. I live in my community, but I live with the person I love. If that isn't personal then I don't know what is. (I don't think you entirely understand what you are trying to say.)
Being able to date someone on the opposite end of the political spectrum means you are privileged enough to not have their views affect you personally.
I've just accepted the fact that I'm going to be alone. Not only do I need to get over the burden of how to meet people, but I have a whole range of issues that just come out randomly during the relationship, and no amount of therapy has been able to resolve it. Now I'm more concerned as ever with political views, and I've cut out life long friends over realizing how much our political views differ. I and others have just gone cold hearted.
An addendum to the advice “be happy”: if you aren’t happy, don’t fake it. Spend the energy and time getting your shot together, get therapy, get a trusty group of friends to help you develop happiness/contentment. That’s what is attractive; not just a smile.
The face of politics has changed. Back when I was in college, political differences meant whether or not we should be in war with Iraq. Today, political differences mean whether or not you believe that the Corona virus vaccine will make you magnetic.
I agree with you, mostly, but also, the “debates” about war are also about human rights, public safety, and fear, but a lot of people don’t feel so strongly because the wars aren’t happening near them. There were plenty of conspiracy theories and excuses as to why the US should keep bombing public spaces in other countries, but there was never a concern that the missiles would fall on *us*. People are more concerned about covid because a ton of people in the US died from it, buuuut no one died from a US-launched missile strike on US soil.
I do not agree with Dr. Fisher, at all; “Trump will come and go, Biden will come and go” she says. It seems a superficial evaluation. Trump uncovered serious societal ugliness and issues of human rights abuses. People are more aware of these than they were, before; in great part, because of the internet. This is uncharted territory. But, what’s true is that these issues can’t be swept under the rug as they might have been before when choosing a mate. These things matter.
Thanks for touching on this controversial issue. Not everyone is going to agree on engaging with people on the other side of the politcial spectrum, and that's absolutely fine. What I do agree with is asking questions and starting a dialogue with the other person, because there's always a reason why someone thinks/feels the way they do. By doing this, you both get a bigger view of the other side, and both become a bit less prejudiced in the process. THIS is how you discuss issues and make real change.
There's nothing wrong with compromise.... right up until we get to issues of safety and building community. I'm a very easy going person and even I can't stand willful ignorance
This makes me think of old ladies who say little more than "oh hush" when their husbands say something sexist to their grandaughters. Is that women true to her so called progressive values by enabling sexism towards her very own family? My opinion is that she isn't. She is bending to the values of the other person. This isn't politics. This is the only life we have, and many of us are no longer willing to compromise ourselves.
As most people aren't deep into politics it should not be a deal breaker for them. However....I have very strong political opinions and could never be happy in a relationship from someone from the opposite political pole.
I couldn't date someone who cannot think by themselves. Who just believes anything without thinking " is that really true? Does it make sense? I have to look into the matter". It's that simple!
As someone who is dating someone across the aisle I can say you can certainly love someone on the other side, even grow to understand them that being said and I'm sure it's true for her as well, politically we are incredibly different and I have huge issues with her conservative beliefs and generally speaking do get sick of hearing it when its generally systematically opressive and not taking real events and human rights into accounting. She's becoming more aware and progressive as we continue our relationship but she has some things hard baked in and it does cause discourse.
Similar to abortion, Blackness (and subsequently anti-Blackness) is not one of those issues that comes and goes. It may become more or less mainstream, but the dangers will continue to exist as long as society continues to not protect the safety of those impacted by them.
I have an uncle who is liberal and my aunt is conservative. My uncle is mostly deaf. That deafness has kept them married 30 yrs. He can’t hear and she can’t talk to him most of the time. It’s a perfect relationship. 😂
I know of a marriage where the couple do not agree on politics, The wife must always be walking on eggs, hyperconscious of the hazard of inciting her husband's sneering contempt. Even though she walks on eggs, he (a Trump voter) will snipe at her out of the blue. It doesn't help that he is a virulent Catholic right-to-lifer. She is a mild-mannered feminist, simply stating that she supports a woman's right to choose. When I asked her, "Why did you marry a man [and have kids with this man] who disagrees with you on politics and religion?", she replied, "I didn't know!!" (They lived together for two years before they married. Go figure.) Marriage is difficult enough without this kind of wearisome stress. Don't risk it.
Seeing my broker being talked about on RUclips excite me so much, This was exactly how i got recommendation about Mrs Mary Lynn Crawford, At first i was a bit skeptical but eventually i gave her a trail with my little investment i got huge profit this woman has really change the life of many people from different countries and I'm a testimony of her trading strategy.
Been off the market for 25 years. If I was dating now, there is just no way, as a woman, that I would feel safe dating a conservative man. Not even able to get to the higher realms of relating. Just basic safety/will I be heard if I say no?
I've met the same friends for a beer on Friday for many years. There wasn't anything we couldn't talk about, until trump. Now we avoid talking about politics.
Dated and married a moderate conservative as a moderate liberal, never cared about his politics until Trump came along. I told him point blank that I would leave him if he supported him and agreed with his views lol
part of the contract to reside in AZ requires everyone to become an extreme right wing republican... cause every democrat I know that retires to AZ becomes a rabid republican. I've always wondered what kind of boot camp brain washing program people go thru when they spend a few months-years in AZ?
Man I wish women would initiate more. It's kinda annoying that it is expected for men to ask first. What if a man has a personality that only gets going when someone else starts. This stuff is complicated as people get more complicated.
@@rosejames5172 Hey, there are a lot of men out there. Don't use that as an excuse not to initiate. Also I'm not part of any men hive mind, I'm my own man with my own views and opinions.
@@subject8776 See Rose's comment. It's about trying to convince young women to not be assertive because men will think they are too masculine. It's deeper than being "afraid."
I would never date or marry someone who does not support legalization of marijuana. I could never understand their perspective. Most other issues I could agree to disagree but not marijuana prohibition. I don't care if you use cannabis products or not, only if you support putting people in jail over their own choices which doesn't effect you at all. This one thing tells me everything I need to know about you and your views.
The love of my life leans right and I am an independent, I don’t know how, but it works. We have many views in common, regarding abortion, immigration, LGBTQ+ rights, guns and many other things. We love each other dearly and I wouldn’t change our relationship for anything in the world!
My grandparents had a lovely, long relationship. They both claimed they didn’t vote because they would just cancel each other’s vote. (Each revealed to me privately over the years that they would sneak away to cast their votes, sooooo....)
I'm curious now about the brain scanning and romantic love being something basic we earthlings are wired for. I'm skeptical, but only in the nature vs nurture... and even if a learned behavior, does that change the way our brain responds?..., so where can I find out about the scans and processes and the results? Interesting topic to be sure.
I can disidentify from my political beliefs - and even from my ethical framework - in order to give another human being the benefit of the doubt. On the other hand - it's a hard "no" to anyone who arranges their books by color.
I want someone cuter than me.. You dont have to have a job. But you do have to take care of yourself.. That means you have to have money to take me out once in awile.. Be polite, honest and not controlling. Can go out have a drink or stay at home and watch tv. Go on walks or go to the gym . You dont have to like my kids but you do have to respect them. Know your boundries.. Know the difference between who the adult is and who the child is..
Someone to walk beside you, not in front of or behind. You don't need someone to support you, just not drag you down with. In short, someone who is bringing as much to the table as you are
I wondered about this exact topic today before you uploaded this. Only shortly though, I am not interested in it enough to actually spend 40 minutes on this.
If you are not smart, you want to surround yourself with smart people. If you are smart, you want to surround yourself with smart people, who don't agree with you.
Politics is the agreed upon laws of the majority. It almost always involves people's lives and freedoms. It is not really open for interpretation because water is wet and the sun is always shining. People get sick and people go broke. If we have to debate this, then there is no value in debate.
@@THATBOISHAD No. Politics is the way that people living in groups make decisions. Politics is about making agreements between people so that they can live together in groups such as tribes, cities, or countries. it has little or nothing to naturally do with law, or facts, just what is working at the moment. We don't have to debate this, merely agree on agree on definitions.
Is my mind playing tricks on me, or does Dr. Helen Fisher looks and sounds a lot like (the late) Carrie Fisher? Are they related? Is that just a gigantic coincidence? am I losing it?
Man, Roy is such a great interviewer! I always love his interviews.
Living rural America and not being a Christian, conservative, or a cowboy it has become close to unbearable. Why would I want to share my life with someone who doesn’t look at me as a human being. This isn’t about a difference in politics this is about a difference in morality and ethics.
That is exactly why, tho, the dating inquiry into someone’s politics is arbitrary and reductive. Ask the questions that matter, don’t just reduce to how someone votes. I don’t like the idea of asking politics bc it reduces a segment of society into a monolith that they’re simply not. That’s just a media portrayal. I think it’s more important to ask the questions of values at their core and go from there
And that’s coming from living Deep South for years, Boulder Colorado and Denver for years, and central Texas (Austin and San Antonio). Places of extremes and nuance. Ppl ignore nuance bc it requires effort, but that’s just abdication.
@@tonydaughtrey and that’s just one example in an ocean of them. Long story short: those who reduce entire segments of populations into stereotypes and convenient notions risk becoming some of the worst ppl in the world. It’s a tool of populism to create a shared enemy and I find it dangerous that both sides are content to paint the other into a predetermined picture. Individual values are what should guide. That’s why when I dated I didn’t ask for politics, but I made very clear I’m an atheist and practicing abortion advocate (had one before and thought it was a funny way to word)
@@seanlinehan1136 some of us have no time for (for example) Republicans that say they aren't mysogenists or racists. It's up to you who you vote for and if you vote for the party of Trump, Green etc you 100% are supporting those things. Reductive it may be, but vote liberal if you don't have ridiculous views either way. It's what liberal means. If you are very left, there are politicians for that and expect to be called a socialist... if you are very right, then that says a lot about you whether you like it or not.
@@seanlinehan1136 with all due respect, how someone votes DOES equal their core values. We are living in a time now where average people are more informed about politics and world events than ever. If someone even says to me that they vote Republican but only because they are “fiscally conservative” or whatever, to me that doesn’t say they actually do care about women’s rights and lgbtq+ rights and climate change etc, it says they care about money more than they care about human rights because they are voting alongside human rights violations for monetary reasons. You could use this vague sense of “it isn’t the whole story” about 15-20 years ago because people just weren’t as informed. I also have a rural background and even there, people know better. They just don’t care about things that I care about and it’s evidenced by the way they vote.
I used to think, “I can overlook some political issues, to each their own,” even in friendships, but as I have gotten older and things have changed, I realize that if you don’t share most of my politics you simply don’t share my core beliefs and there is no “I can overlook this.” I just don’t have the convenience of overlooking things like that, and I don’t think a relationship across the aisle can last unless you either don’t care (and are lucky enough that it doesn’t impact you) or you love to argue and delude yourself into thinking you can change someone.
Well said
Im a vocal conservative and what you wrote is exactly how I feel. Id say in the last 3 years in particular that I cannot date liberals anymore.
@@MajorHenryL. Yeah dating someone who wants women's rights is completely off the table for me. Women don't deserve rights.
I agree with you, because these days, depending on what they believe, a person's politics say way more about them than just their politics! More than a few political groups these days are incredibly extreme and their "politics" include some horrible ideas that go beyond what we used to means by politics!
In order to be a Trump supporter, you've got to either be racist or really really ok with voting for the same candidates as racists! You've also got to be ok with insulting the women, minorities, disabled people and LGBTQ people (or standing next to and cheering on people who do this) using horrible terms that no one should ever feel comfortable let alone proud of calling another human being just because the didn't vote for the same person you did.
In order to be a Trump supporter you've also chosen to believe not just unreliable sources, but sloppy illogical ones and ignore even the most basic standards of evidence just because you don't like the results!
So really supporting these "politics" says more about a person than just their politics. Being Trump supporter implies a level of egoism, bigotry, lack of critical thinking skills, and lack of basic social skills that would make any relationship with such a person a huge pain!
But lets say you meet a Trump supporter who doesn't go to rallies or put up insulting yard signs. There you've got someone who may not entirely believe all the horrible things the more unhinged Trump supporters say and do, but is perfectly ok overlooking these things for the sake of their own views!
They don't care how much other Trump supporters and Trump himself may hurt others so long as they get something out of it too! (And, let's be entirely honest, the fact that they still support Trump despite all the things he and his louder followers say and do, probably means they agree a whole lot more of the horrible stuff than they will publicly admit.)
Seriously, with all the difficulty evolved in even the most loving relationships, who would want all the unnecessary baggage that comes with that!
@@MajorHenryL. I'm sure the feeling is mutual so it's a win win for everyone!
I think the lack of empathy for others which many Republicans’ and Libertarians’ beliefs are based on, would be a deal breaker for me.
Same.
True libertarianism isn't too terrible, small government and everyone's got their own autonomy. But the new age libertarians are just closeted Trumpers.
Yep it’s the crux of the issue for me as well
The thing that really gets me about Libertarians is their rosey egotistical view of the world and their place in it.
They think that things will just work out if there are no rules and always imagine themselves as strong, thriving, attractive, and wealthy in this imaginary lawless eutopia.
They never imagine themselves hungry, poor, or swindled by all those other "superior" people.
Libertarianism is pretty much the equivalent of a frustrated highschool sophomore yelling about how they are better than everyone else and everyone would see that if it wasn't for all the rules!
That's not just a deal-breaker, it's a pretty solid predictor for issues that will arise in the relationship.
Conservatives = trash.
As a Black woman, I don't have the luxury of overlooking politics when someone's beliefs may involve being dismissive or outright hostile when I'm discussing things that directly affect me or other marginalized groups. I can agree to disagree on everyday things, like what's the best ice cream flavor or who's the best spice girl, but if someone I'm interested in supports a group/ideology that believes it's ok to dehumanize my people, I can't look past that, and it's not my responsibility to "teach" them.
Thank you! I have been thinking that the whole time watching this. Their "Just hear them out and smile more" advice comes from quite a privileged (white cis-het) position. Im not going to waste my time hearing people out that want to invalidate my existence. There is not a single reason for their -isms and -phobias or (their denial of its existence) that is even remotely ok, and neither is supporting it.
Everybody discussing which ‘flavor of the week’ guest host should get the gig - my mans, Roy Wood Jr. Is RIGHT HERE!!!! 👏
Idk why people pretend being friends with someone with differing political beliefs is a virtue. It’s not like you have different sports teams - your politics represents your core beliefs. If you don’t think those matter it’s only because you have the privilege (or think you do) of not being concerned about what will happen to your safety when the government changes.
Well said!
Exactly!! People that don’t believe in human rights and equity should be called out, their friends shouldn’t be looking the other way or pretending not to notice their intolerance
It depends how far they diversify. Different religious / political stances that still respect other points of view do exist but there is an increase in deliberate division which increases toxicity and hatred and I'm not sure how to reverse it.
Because friendship is more than political beliefs. Are you serious ? The core beliefs of friendship are trust and honesty.
If you lean Left, and your new friend also leans Left, do you think there's a guarantee they wont betray you ? Does holding that poltiical belief prevent that situation from happening ?
Core political beliefs are irrelevant in relationships. Maybe if you and your friends think about poltiics all the time, then I guess.
@@Mr.Coffee576 Everything is political, if you don’t know that then you’re not paying attention, because you’re one of those people who have the privilege of not worrying that those politics will effect them.
You can't really separate politics from a person's morality
I'm at the point that I truly think you're dangerous if you're a maga man.
They are dangerous
What? You don't like Morons Are Great Again?
agreed as an American Black dating a MAGA man would never happen even if we attracted to each other cause it happened i was scared of him on the low
Yes, absolutely
The true Red Flag is the Trump flag!
At this point, my family and community is too full of diverse people I love for me to date someone who is anti-LGBT or a religious supremacist or ethnic supremacist or nationalist or is callous towards the poor and working class. I need someone who has empathy and sees the humanity in others and their political views and the policies they vote for show it.
That's the way I've seen it for years....but at the same time, that makes me (us) guilty of stereotyping
For real
@@LindaC616 how do you figure? I view it as, if youre empathetic and seeing the humanity, then your not like passing judgment until the person deserves it.
@@LindaC616 It's not exactly stereotyping. If my values are: Ending White Supremacism, No Misogyny, No Homophobia, No Transphobia, Prioritizing the Working Class and helping the Poor, Protecting Women's Reproductive Rights, A Secular State with Cultural Diversity and Inclusion, Police Reform, Ending the War On Drugs, Ending Prison Industrial Complex and Military Industrial Complex....it is pretty clear after one simple conversation about what political candidates and policies the person support, where they fall and whether our values align.
@@LindaC616 there is nothing stereotypical about that person said all those things involve people's actual lives, life and death
I have always said it takes a 30 min or less conversation for me to know if I can get along with anyone.
Close minded, Selfish, Disrespect, Guns, or Religion are all key factors I simply cannot and never will try to relate to, but I will Never say they don't have a right to be someone's personal ideal or life practice.
I don't know if love can endure through political divide.. unless you enjoy arguing and being frustrated by someone's core beliefs.. especially if they're dead set.. and not willing to change their minds.. or you just don't talk about politics..
I had a colleague who did that with her husband of many yrs. She is/was Dem (alzheimer) and he's raging Rep. I asked her about 20 yrs ago how they handled it, and she said "we don't talk about it "
It was very common for liberal women to start voting Republican after marriage, glad they’re dead set on their beliefs nowadays.
Liz is separating ‘issues’ and ‘politics’, i.e. abortion. If your partner agrees with you that abortion should be legal but votes republican, then their “beliefs” are moot. They are working to put people into power whose stated purpose is to yank body autonomy from EVERYONE, starting with women.
I don't believe human rights are debatable and I need someone who shares my core values. My husband and I sometimes disagree about taxes or policies (both dems) but I couldn't be with someone who is ok with my medical freedoms being revoked, would disown our future children if they were a part of the LGBTQ community, or had a general lack of empathy / critical thinking skills.
I'm only halfway through, but have to say.. intentions don't matter. I'm not imagining what the other person's intentions are. I only care about what they're doing and if they decide to stick with it, even after I've explained that it's a problem.
A person does something that harms me, or the people I care about? I obviously can't abide by them. And well, if you vote for a party that explicitly states goals that will harm me and people I care about, then I can't be friends with you. So yeah I don't understand dating someone across the aisle. I can understand how it worked in the past, considering the parties used to be a bit more aligned and most people didn't care too much about what happens to minorities, so that wouldn't be a dealbreaker to many back then.
I don’t think I could date across the isle. I feel politics are your core beliefs and if you don’t believe in LGBTQ+ rights, free healthcare, comprehensive POC education, the right for a woman to choose, etc. or you vote against it just because you don’t like taxes or dems, you’re actively voting against making my life better. I feel the other side is not very empathetic and that’s a turnoff already. Also when you think about possibly having children I do not want to argue about how to raise the child on every issue. I will talk to someone across the isle but I cannot intertwine my whole life with them. I cannot risk their views not changing.
Honestly, over time my politics changed more to match my partner's views. When we spoke/argued about politics, it wasn't just some stranger sharing their views with me, it was someone who loved me, made sacrifices for me, stood up for me, forgiven me, cared about me and was building a life with me sharing their views with me.
This was someone who had shown over and over that they cared deeply about me talking about the things they believed and cared about.
We both changed our views based upon how much we love and enjoy being with eachother.
We may not always vote the same way, but our politics changed because of how we feel about eachother and not the other way around.
Everything you said was about you. Politics is about a whole community. A whole nation of
@@THATBOISHAD Yes, but my personal relationship with my significant other is about me and them.
I live in my community, but I live with the person I love.
If that isn't personal then I don't know what is.
(I don't think you entirely understand what you are trying to say.)
Being able to date someone on the opposite end of the political spectrum means you are privileged enough to not have their views affect you personally.
Roy!
I cannot watch you enough.
Ya mayka me laugh dude!
Great show again.
I won't date a MAGA.
I'm more concerned that a MAGA chick wouldn't date me. Either way, I don't like the whole thing anyway.
You entirely missed the point of the video.
@@ocularzombie6679 I've dated a chick who turned MAGA. It's not worth it.
@@DreamDemonify maybe they watched the video, understood it and still posted that comment? Why are you offended anyway?
What's a maga?
Mr. Roy Wood, Jr, you are truly a gem. Always.
Great Segment. Great things to think on
I love the simplicity of the way Roy said it. You're either voting for yourself or voting for the public.
@Tony D. But their intentions are to vote for themselves
I love how Roy listens. More Roy!
I've just accepted the fact that I'm going to be alone. Not only do I need to get over the burden of how to meet people, but I have a whole range of issues that just come out randomly during the relationship, and no amount of therapy has been able to resolve it. Now I'm more concerned as ever with political views, and I've cut out life long friends over realizing how much our political views differ. I and others have just gone cold hearted.
Adorable. Thank you all!
An addendum to the advice “be happy”: if you aren’t happy, don’t fake it. Spend the energy and time getting your shot together, get therapy, get a trusty group of friends to help you develop happiness/contentment. That’s what is attractive; not just a smile.
The face of politics has changed. Back when I was in college, political differences meant whether or not we should be in war with Iraq. Today, political differences mean whether or not you believe that the Corona virus vaccine will make you magnetic.
I agree with you, mostly, but also, the “debates” about war are also about human rights, public safety, and fear, but a lot of people don’t feel so strongly because the wars aren’t happening near them. There were plenty of conspiracy theories and excuses as to why the US should keep bombing public spaces in other countries, but there was never a concern that the missiles would fall on *us*. People are more concerned about covid because a ton of people in the US died from it, buuuut no one died from a US-launched missile strike on US soil.
I can’t do it, I’m too far left
Almond Joy is love. I will die on this hill.
Mounds are even better! 😎
I accidentally dated a cop once. Never again. She got busted for DV a few years later. Guns and cops are my deal breakers.
I do not agree with Dr. Fisher, at all; “Trump will come and go, Biden will come and go” she says. It seems a superficial evaluation. Trump uncovered serious societal ugliness and issues of human rights abuses. People are more aware of these than they were, before; in great part, because of the internet. This is uncharted territory. But, what’s true is that these issues can’t be swept under the rug as they might have been before when choosing a mate. These things matter.
Thanks for touching on this controversial issue. Not everyone is going to agree on engaging with people on the other side of the politcial spectrum, and that's absolutely fine. What I do agree with is asking questions and starting a dialogue with the other person, because there's always a reason why someone thinks/feels the way they do. By doing this, you both get a bigger view of the other side, and both become a bit less prejudiced in the process. THIS is how you discuss issues and make real change.
Yo! I am loving Dr. Fisher! 😄 She really has me grinning with this dating story☺️
There's nothing wrong with compromise.... right up until we get to issues of safety and building community. I'm a very easy going person and even I can't stand willful ignorance
This makes me think of old ladies who say little more than "oh hush" when their husbands say something sexist to their grandaughters. Is that women true to her so called progressive values by enabling sexism towards her very own family? My opinion is that she isn't. She is bending to the values of the other person. This isn't politics. This is the only life we have, and many of us are no longer willing to compromise ourselves.
I’m in love with Liz’s bookshelf. Is that a Peter Pan statue?
As most people aren't deep into politics it should not be a deal breaker for them. However....I have very strong political opinions and could never be happy in a relationship from someone from the opposite political pole.
I couldn't date someone who cannot think by themselves. Who just believes anything without thinking " is that really true? Does it make sense? I have to look into the matter". It's that simple!
As someone who is dating someone across the aisle I can say you can certainly love someone on the other side, even grow to understand them that being said and I'm sure it's true for her as well, politically we are incredibly different and I have huge issues with her conservative beliefs and generally speaking do get sick of hearing it when its generally systematically opressive and not taking real events and human rights into accounting. She's becoming more aware and progressive as we continue our relationship but she has some things hard baked in and it does cause discourse.
Discourse? Or discord? 😉
@@LindaC616 lol discord
@@disgustt6 talk to text just isn't all that, is it?
I'm guessing it also causes discourse 😆
Similar to abortion, Blackness (and subsequently anti-Blackness) is not one of those issues that comes and goes. It may become more or less mainstream, but the dangers will continue to exist as long as society continues to not protect the safety of those impacted by them.
How can you have a conversation with a Fox watcher when you are not dealing with an agreement on facts verses propaganda.
I tried this last year. it was impossible. He would yell and call me names cause he hated liberals so much. So no, not going to do that again.
I have an uncle who is liberal and my aunt is conservative. My uncle is mostly deaf. That deafness has kept them married 30 yrs. He can’t hear and she can’t talk to him most of the time. It’s a perfect relationship. 😂
I miss seeing more of Jessica Williams. I loved her in Love Life (HBO).
that Kid Cudi movie on Netflix and Shrinking in Apple TV+
@@internetcarson I've been wanting to watch Shrinking but didn't realize she's in it! I'll look for the Netflix movie. Thanks!
Love the gold ear-buds!
great work. thanks
I know of a marriage where the couple do not agree on politics, The wife must always be walking on eggs, hyperconscious of the hazard of inciting her husband's sneering contempt. Even though she walks on eggs, he (a Trump voter) will snipe at her out of the blue. It doesn't help that he is a virulent Catholic right-to-lifer. She is a mild-mannered feminist, simply stating that she supports a woman's right to choose. When I asked her, "Why did you marry a man [and have kids with this man] who disagrees with you on politics and religion?", she replied, "I didn't know!!" (They lived together for two years before they married. Go figure.) Marriage is difficult enough without this kind of wearisome stress. Don't risk it.
I don’t know much about politics. But I do know racism, bigotry is and I could never agree with a trumper.
Exactly
I also feel like this is Roy having therapy in front of a camera and I'm all for it.
Funny; I have no interest in the topic, dating is so last century for me, but these people are all fascinating and fun to listen to.
anyone else fall in love with liz during this?
*
You just shared a vital information that will help lots of people who desires to make profits from trading..
Seeing my broker being talked about on RUclips excite me so much, This was exactly how i got recommendation about Mrs Mary Lynn Crawford, At first i was a bit skeptical but eventually i gave her a trail with my little investment i got huge profit this woman has really change the life of many people from different countries and I'm a testimony of her trading strategy.
Been off the market for 25 years. If I was dating now, there is just no way, as a woman, that I would feel safe dating a conservative man. Not even able to get to the higher realms of relating. Just basic safety/will I be heard if I say no?
I've met the same friends for a beer on Friday for many years. There wasn't anything we couldn't talk about, until trump. Now we avoid talking about politics.
More Almond Joy for me lol
Cute family bond
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Roy speaks for yourself. I love coconut in my chocolate.
Aside: Not everyone wants a mating partner.
Dated and married a moderate conservative as a moderate liberal, never cared about his politics until Trump came along. I told him point blank that I would leave him if he supported him and agreed with his views lol
I LOVE Almond Joy. But now I still can't have it. Keto.
Lying to a potential partner? That's insane. Great way to end up with someone you don't want to be with. It's like lying to your doctor.
part of the contract to reside in AZ requires everyone to become an extreme right wing republican... cause every democrat I know that retires to AZ becomes a rabid republican. I've always wondered what kind of boot camp brain washing program people go thru when they spend a few months-years in AZ?
Florida and honestly the entire South is basically the same.
Depends on how long it takes them to get mugged outside of Dennys at 9pm on the busiest road in Tempe. Just my guess
@@LindaC616 So are you a Maga? Or do you just think crime is a left wing issue.?
🤨 I think what she meant to say is that 46% of people settle
She was hurt and she wanted to pretend it didn’t bother her 8:18
Crazy how that’s the only thing you comment on “king”
@@Dontdoit_ I mean I noticed it too by how shes acting. Idk she gives off a very condescending vibe so don't get butthurt someone pointed it out
Helen Fisher is a legend! I’ve read her books!
@the_dailyshow ok hi. I’ve written.
Man I wish women would initiate more. It's kinda annoying that it is expected for men to ask first. What if a man has a personality that only gets going when someone else starts.
This stuff is complicated as people get more complicated.
You can blame other men for that.
According to men , y'all are alpha leaders and see women who initiate as masculine. lol Thank your brothers.
@@rosejames5172 Hey, there are a lot of men out there. Don't use that as an excuse not to initiate. Also I'm not part of any men hive mind, I'm my own man with my own views and opinions.
@@awake3607 Men aren't the only ones to blame. I think some women need to be braver.
@@subject8776 See Rose's comment. It's about trying to convince young women to not be assertive because men will think they are too masculine. It's deeper than being "afraid."
I would never date or marry someone who does not support legalization of marijuana. I could never understand their perspective. Most other issues I could agree to disagree but not marijuana prohibition. I don't care if you use cannabis products or not, only if you support putting people in jail over their own choices which doesn't effect you at all. This one thing tells me everything I need to know about you and your views.
The love of my life leans right and I am an independent, I don’t know how, but it works. We have many views in common, regarding abortion, immigration, LGBTQ+ rights, guns and many other things. We love each other dearly and I wouldn’t change our relationship for anything in the world!
My grandparents had a lovely, long relationship. They both claimed they didn’t vote because they would just cancel each other’s vote. (Each revealed to me privately over the years that they would sneak away to cast their votes, sooooo....)
Liz is fineeeee
I like coconut.. Almond Joy is in my top 5
OHHHHH. I WOULD KNOW! HAHAHA
Most people are neither one side or the other. We usually fall more center, but politics polarizes us. Especially now.
I'm curious now about the brain scanning and romantic love being something basic we earthlings are wired for. I'm skeptical, but only in the nature vs nurture... and even if a learned behavior, does that change the way our brain responds?..., so where can I find out about the scans and processes and the results? Interesting topic to be sure.
Hey Roy. It’s Kevin again. You don’t like Almond Joys? Do you like eggs on your house…again?
Paint AND pizza! Now you're talken
I can disidentify from my political beliefs - and even from my ethical framework - in order to give another human being the benefit of the doubt.
On the other hand - it's a hard "no" to anyone who arranges their books by color.
I really miss Jessica Williams
If I marry a maga woman it would just be to cancel out her vote in our district..😁😁😁 nah.. I'm just kidding
Wow early again
When did dating become to weird... Or weirder
I want someone cuter than me.. You dont have to have a job. But you do have to take care of yourself.. That means you have to have money to take me out once in awile.. Be polite, honest and not controlling. Can go out have a drink or stay at home and watch tv. Go on walks or go to the gym . You dont have to like my kids but you do have to respect them. Know your boundries.. Know the difference between who the adult is and who the child is..
Someone to walk beside you, not in front of or behind. You don't need someone to support you, just not drag you down with. In short, someone who is bringing as much to the table as you are
Valentines Day is today??
I wondered about this exact topic today before you uploaded this. Only shortly though, I am not interested in it enough to actually spend 40 minutes on this.
The data is interesting but like most polls they ask majority white people. I'd like to see the demographics
I LOVE coconut in my chocolates
There are two political beliefs in the USA? You should broaden the spectrum.
There's no way I would ever date a republican.
Y’all hating Almond Joy?!! Bye Felecia 🖕🏽
I definitely love aggressive women. . .it takes the strain off of me to make the first move.
I thought roy was married?
I was trying to google that. The only thing I could find was that he lived/lives with his girlfriend and the child they have together.
@lynnhettrick7588 yes, I think that's right
🍄🍄
Anyone who aligns with MAGAS is a deal breaker.
Be happy welp you win again depressions cause by childhood trauma
Is that lady on the right ok?
If you are not smart, you want to surround yourself with smart people.
If you are smart, you want to surround yourself with smart people, who don't agree with you.
Politics is the agreed upon laws of the majority. It almost always involves people's lives and freedoms. It is not really open for interpretation because water is wet and the sun is always shining. People get sick and people go broke. If we have to debate this, then there is no value in debate.
@@THATBOISHAD No.
Politics is the way that people living in groups make decisions. Politics is about making agreements between people so that they can live together in groups such as tribes, cities, or countries. it has little or nothing to naturally do with law, or facts, just what is working at the moment. We don't have to debate this, merely agree on agree on definitions.
Is my mind playing tricks on me, or does Dr. Helen Fisher looks and sounds a lot like (the late) Carrie Fisher?
Are they related? Is that just a gigantic coincidence? am I losing it?
We used not care about if someone was a Republican or a Democrat. It wasn't a thing. People were not as political as they are now.