On the topic of discontentment… We were wanting a new family vehicle. Mine runs fine but not aesthetically pleasing bc it’s 15 years old. Well the sticker shock of current used vehicles has me backing up. I’ve decided to take more pride in my mini van and wash it and vacuum it more regularly. Same goes for my home. when I clean my home I become more thankful for it. I love the “soak up the sun” song’s sentiment. “It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got!”
I love this! So much of our discontentment can be helped with some simple cleaning. That’s why it’s the first step in home design. When we clean and declutter our space and we might just find we love it already.
I love this! Also, you might invest in some professional detailing. A good service will have it feeling like new! I asked for that as a birthday gift and it was better than I expected!
I had been wanting a newer car as well. Mine current car really suits my needs and runs well but was looking awful because the paint began to fail in the third year and now the car is nearly 15 years old. Every day I looked at it, I thought about how I had been complaining to the dealer about them not helping out with fixing the paint because it was just out of warranty. Instead I took it for a paint job. Now I feel like I am driving a brand new car and I fell back in love with it.
My friend told me once "Education is expensive" and that phrase has helped me a lot when I've made a regrettable decision that I want to move past - it helps me realize it's a learning opportunity, education through experience. That's my tuition fee to learn a lesson.
I watch a lot of eBay sellers even though I'm not one. They use the phrase "Pay to Learn" when they buy something that isn't worth what they thought it was going to be. Same idea.
The two biggest things helping me declutter at the moment are “I’m never going to get the money back from this item but I can get my time back from dealing with it” and “Would I buy this item again full price?” The answer to the second is so often NO! I’ve been a minimalist for close to 10 years but I’m always peeling layers back and trying to correct bad spending habits.
I'm surprised at the number of negative reactions. I was inspired by Dr. Paul! My initial reaction was "this is typical analyst talk, using a lot of words but not really saying anything." I trudged along and somewhere between midway and the end it clicked and I really got what this guy was saying. So many of his references were absolutely on point! He was humorous, his delivery was deliberate, and his voice reassuring. This made such an impression on me that I plan to listen again! I've been struggling with personal "challenges" and this can be applied to all aspects of my life. So glad I listened all the way through!!
I am thrilled that this thought doesn't enter my mind. My hardest decision when minimizing is whether to donate or sell it. I've decided to donate everything since I don't want to handle it twice and spend precious time trying to sell it. I could use the money, but my time is worth more. Good video.
I am the exact same. I would love to make money on my things I no longer want/like/need, but I live in a small town where people want free stuff and expect you to deliver it too😂….I give to friends/family and my local charity.
This has held me up! I have boxes and boxes of items I decluttered but they are still sitting here because I "should" have a garage sale. They are all nice items and would sell well at a garage sale. But I lack energy and time. I need to make a decision soon.
I have done some serious de cluttering lately and had major guilt of the wasted money. It came to me that I haven’t always been good at tithing so this would be a perfect opportunity to give back. It really changed my perspective that I could bless others with beautiful things that I really didn’t need or didn’t fit. It wasn’t doing anyone any good for me to feel remorse and shame and hold on to these things just because they were expensive.
You are awesome! Understanding how we think and seeing that this is a learning process and changing for the better is a wonderful thing. I know that you are blessing other with all that you give. :)
Excellent perspective. On a par with the idea of blessing people with the perfectly good things we declutter; either directly or through donation centers.
This was so helpful. Just yesterday I donated 250 items to a domestic violence charity. This helps knowing I am giving really helps me get past the guilt. Thank you
When my husband was struck by lightning, I had a very hard time seeing anything good about the situation. As time when on, I found out I was surrounded by so many good people that were willing to help our family in our time of need. ❤️
Really good video. I was depressed during the 90s, partially due to grief. Someone told me "to be positive" but I couldn't understand how to be positive when something horrible happened. My depression didn't get better so I asked a woman I knew who lost her daughter how she dealt with her grief. She told me to do volunteer work for people who were more misersble than I was. I found an "internet" cafe that would allowed me to take computer classes for volunteering. The purpose of the cafe was to provide affordable computer skills to everyone, including low-income people. Soon I found that many of the volunteers were former homeless people due to drug and alcohol addictions. These people were SO inspiring. They "pulled themselves up by their bootstraps" and created new businesses designing websites. I gained so much from volunteering there, including great friends and skills that would help me cope with future depressions.
So what I heard is we"re never wrong! I'm basically a happy person with a great sense of humor. I've always referred to what some might term mistakes as R&D, as I put stuff in my Goodwill bag I'll say things like "It's not you, it's me" or any other break-up line that pops into my head. When things are stressful I go with " it is what it is", find something to like about " stage IV cancer chemo- I didn't have to go into work every other Monday for 6 months - Score!! Hate that Monday morning alarm. I'm not perfect, but have learned the value of taking a step back, a physical step back, to remind me to assess a situation. If I've just decluttered an area I step back and admire, if something scary or stressful arises that physical step reminds me to stay calm and think before acting. Let's never beat ourselves up, let's never assume the worst - I'm still in remission 11 years after chemo, gratitude and attitude will take you farther than negativity ever will.
YES! Love this. I have also learned through tragedy to be kinder to myself. I give myself grace and even buy myself flowers. Glad you are doing well. ❤
Oh yay!! Two people who have greatly blessed and enriched my life… I ♥️ and admire you both!! As someone deep in her battle against and *recovery* from various forms of OCD -as well as hoarding disorder- this especially resonated with me: @15:09 “I love that we get to have control over our own thinking - once we’re aware of it. Because either you drive our thoughts or your thoughts’ll drive you.”
I’ll never watch a video with him in it again. I got 16 minutes in and couldn’t stand to listen to him talk for another minute. He is not promoting the same positive vibe and easy understanding that you are.
Absolutely the most uplifting helpful ‘teaching! I’ve heard in a long time. Thank you for sharing Dr. Paul with us, Dawn. It’s amazing how reframing a situation with positive words causes one’s mind to rest instead of fret and moves one from regret to being creative. 🙏
My way of getting past the guilt is the idea that much of my decluttering and many of my “mistake” purchases are like gardening….I did my best to prepare my soil and sow the seeds and some come up and are fruitful and some seeds don’t and/or aren’t fruitful. AAND, sometimes our garden is SO fruitful and full of abundance that I can’t possibly use it all, so I’m happy to give some away. And sometimes, we have to throw some rotten things in a compost or burn pile. These outcomes of my garden are all acceptable and worthy of my acknowledgment of continuous learning and gratitude, not guilt. Most of us are experiencing feeling bad for living in a time in history where we are all surrounded by abundance and we have been trained to feel bad about it instead of being grateful stewards. We must deal with the abundance and maintain our gardens and spaces. Decluttering is like the never ending tasks of gardening like watering, weeding, harvesting, and processing. It’s nothing to feel bad about when we have stuff to get rid of from our homes whether it’s dust, unused food, trash, or unused clothes.
“These outcomes of my garden are all acceptable and worthy of my acknowledgement of continuous learning and gratitude, not guilt.” As a gardener myself, that really resonates with me!
Hi Dawn, I love the effort you put into generating such varied and interesting content. I never comment anything negative on anyone’s channel but I wanted to ask if you would please consider not using background music like this in videos which are conversations. I found myself so distracted from the music that I kept having to go back and replay sections. Your editing in your videos is wonderful and I love your use of music normally. But I felt this was a weighty topic and I wanted to really listen carefully and it was difficult to block out the music. I debated whether or not to comment, but decided that I would give the feedback because I value your channel so much and watch every video you post.
Respectfully, I think you might be helping prove their point. This guy is what he is. To you, maybe he is worse than other therapists you’ve heard…but to me, he is better. You may be irritated by this video, but I was inspired. Both of our evaluations are real, but not necessarily reliable.
@@JustOneDress why is he bad? (Genuinely asking) I stopped listening pretty early because I’m not a fan of his tendency to speak a lot but say almost nothing. But I don’t know his background.
I love Dawn, no change there but he was super mansplain-y I enjoy Dawn's way of making sense of purchasing in haste, or out of an emotional pull from an object etc. This guy just didn't resonate at all with me - but i appreciate how Dawn is always trying different angles to try and help All of us! We are all so different and so she never quits on us !!! Thanks Dawn!!!!
This interview is gold! I hope you’ll do more interviews in the future :-) This is a piece of gold that I learned years ago: thinking creates feelings, feelings create actions, actions create behavior, behavior creates character. I have it written on a note card and I refer to it often!
I just watched this video again and realize that he really does an incredible job of getting to the absolute core of why some people get stuck and can’t move past their habits or addictions. It’s all about self-judgement and shame. If we can learn to stop judging ourselves so harshly, be kinder to ourselves, be our own loving parents, we can nurture and teach the child within is and we can finally start to grow. Wow. That is it. One of my favorites of all of the episodes on this channel.
It is so refreshing to hear someone say we are hardwired to judge everything. So many use "judgmental" as a negative word (which in itself is "judgmental") when in reality we, especially as adults, could not function in our daily lives if we did not constantly evaluate or "judge" everything and everyone. This is how we make good choices among things we buy and/or keep, people we associate with and actions we take.
I was exhausted by Dr. Paul, but I did actually succeed decluttering something using the "tuition" idea. I tried on a pretty bracelet in a shop and was in a hurry. It was hard to take off, so hard that I left it on my wrist as I paid! At home I realized it was an impossible clasp, I felt the pain/guilt as I donated it and told myself - you paid $20 to learn to never buy jewelry again without really inspecting it.
@@elizabethsydnor3257 I couldn't get past the first minute with him, so I came here to the comments. I've learned here what I would have by watching him.
Yeah, he really rubbed me the wrong way. I got through 2/3 of the video because I was doing dishes. First time I haven't finished one of Dawn's videos!
Agreed, but I think the background music throughout was the problem clutter! A little too much for my mind to focus on both. I kept trying to lower the video and realized I wanted to block out the music. Otherwise love all of Dawn's videos.
Omg I can’t count the number of times I almost shut this one down. Then I thought Dawn was struggling through it (rewatch it-if you can-just looking at her facial expressions) Smile on!
I love not only your channel, but the fact that you lead me to all of these other great RUclipsrs too! I spent most of my life avoiding anything self help, and now I'm all over your channel, Dana's and Cass's and listening to all of the books you and Cass recommend. Thank you!
Just held psychology class with my family. This technique of managing one’s self is so good. Truly obvious but unnoticed in this level of detail. This technique applies to every situation. Two preteens (and their parents) are glad for this lesson. Many thanks, Dawn and Dr. Paul.
I love you dawn and you have motivated me to do so much in decluttering my home and living more simply over the last year. You are very genuine and Tom makes me laugh; he reminds me of my own husband. Very similar humor! I think people get the words guilt and shame mixed up or see it as meaning the same thing. Guilt...is supposed to be a reminder and motivator to turn a different direction. Going from wrong to right. A little inside compass from God. Shame comes from the adversary to make us feel worthless. Shame is a place where we don't want to be and I can see how positivity can help steer us away from feeling less than. We are children of God and the adversary makes us want to forget that. I don't like the term "guilt free" at all. We should be grateful God gave us a conscience or compass to keep us on the road to making good choices. Last thought, I was not enjoying Dr Paul. I don't get the same genuine feeling I get from you and he was all over the place...going on different tangents that didn't follow your questions. Bring back Dawn and Tom Fridays.
Hmmm. I didn't feel that way. You could tell he had presented this a great deal and he had some formulas for doing so. But I felt he was sincere and the concepts are powerful for those who embrace them.
@@diellensy27 yes. I'm glad you like the guilt vs shame. Satan wants us to hide, shame us, make us feel alone. He is the great accuser. Guilt is like, oh man, I messed up...let me change my ways. I need God in my life. I need his mercy and forgiveness. Let me open up to him. No hiding. We are enveloped in love.
I agree fully: Dawn or Dawn and Tom videos are soooo much better. He is all over the place and he said something that could be said in 5 minutes over 30!!
This way of handling things can be useful in so many circumstances. Listening to this makes me realize that I could have kept many purchases from becoming clutter later if I had made a decision earlier on in the process to take it back to the store. Really, for many items, we know right away that they aren’t quite right but we talk ourselves into keeping them to wait and see or till it fits our fantasy self in a few months etc. I don’t beat myself up too much over purchases but I think this will help me to just not buy/keep things that aren’t right from the get go.
Thank you for stating this! I just purchased new drapes for our bedroom because I wanted a lighter (in color) look. Long story short, I put up one pair of the new drapes and realized they didn’t work even though I love the color compared to the others - everything else about them actually made my current ones look better - lol…SO, I returned them within 24 hours! Store rep was super nice and actually said, “Sometimes, things we thought we wanted or we thought would work out, just don’t and that is OK”. 🤗
This is so true. And I've been really making a habit of returning what I don't feel good about once I'm home. It has helped so much in the past couple years. I used to feel bad about returning items but now I think this is my prerogative in a world where marketing is making us nuts with all the things that supposedly are good for us, make our lives easier, help our children learn, make us more comfortable, etc. But I'm slowly getting better not even falling for it and not making purchases in the first place 😉 the mantra "do I really want to manage that inventory" is amazing in making more responsible decisions for me and my family
Absolutely one of my favourite videos to date! I just let go of some things that where homeschool related and you can imagine the jble of guilt that went into the last 5 months its been sat there down doing nothing! It felt so awesome! And this video was super inspiring 👏
I still do it like last year. I divided our home in 10 areas, mostly 1 room. Then I assigned each area to a month, January to October, leaving out the holiday months. So each month I have one area to declutter and deep clean. And it works, for me anyway. And I get better at it, slowly. Even with buyer's remorse. I am not looking for perfection. Just peace of mind. 😊
Way to go with using a system that works for you. I think that will help a lot of people to give them time to break down the task of getting things out of the home.
I really like your system Lia! I don't have 10 rooms, but I could use that system for 12 areas like clothing, books, paper, laptop, kitchen ware etc. Thank you!
This was such a great video! Some of my favorite content so far. Digging into how we judge ourselves and can turn that thinking around to create positive change is huge! Thanks, Dawn and crew, for bringing us such wonderful information and hopeful messages!
Wonderful deep conversations. I guess it’s all about emotional intelligence. Is it intelligent to keep doing what does not work? My husband is battling cancer and I have reverted back to “retail therapy” in order to feel a little better. This has made me feel bad about myself as I have been working hard to change my “not helpful” habits. Self flagellation is only making me feel worse. This video has really helped me see clearer that I must chose to think about my wrong doing as not the end of the world - A temporary relapse under extreme conditions. This has helped me forgive myself - I can feel my mood changing for the good. Thank you 🙏❤️
Love, Love, LOVE this positive brain spin! And I am looking forward to reading Dr Jenkins' short book. I had in the past done the thought comparison of being grateful for what I have, experience etc because I know others have it worse. But during these last 2 years, I think by being surrounded by the 'woe is me' attitude everywhere - friends, news, social media - that I began to take that on board a bit too. So thank you Dawn for having this particular discussion with Dr Jenkins!
I appreciate the idea of not thinking guilty thoughts because you didn’t know what the outcome was going to be before you made the decision. Just make it a learning experience. That speaks to my teaching nature. ❤️
Omg, I just discovered this guy last week. What an amazing mindshift, relieve yourself of guilt and stress of failure. Look at lost time and past decisions as lessons learned to upgrade your life.
What a great session. When I was a child, I read about Pollyanna's Glad Game and it had a big effect on me and I have always tried to look for the positive in any situation. Over the years I have been accused of being unrealistic, unsympathetic, and not being sensible and even "pollyannaish". I think I was being very realistic in looking at whatever the situation is and examining all aspects and comparing to what it might be. NOW I see the link to gratitude and recognising that "every situation is neutral, and how we look at it can always be changed. Go Pollyanna!
This is so awesome! I love that he talked about how we see thing in our minds and that things are neutral. This opens so much to how I need to think about my actions and that I am still learning. Now I will see thing in a positive way. I hope that you will too.
I actually did watch several episodes of Hoarders before beginning my assessment of what & how to declutter. It made me see that I have some tendencies that those people had as well as see that I have some good and bad habits, which DID motivate me to do some creative thinking. Amazing to hear this process explained so well! It seems to me that in that process of recognition, would be to know Who to look to & thank so you can be grateful and thank Him for the wonderful way He not only made us, but also helps us when we remember to ask! A change in focus off our situation onto what does the Lord require of me is THE best way to change one's perspective, because it brings hope.
Thanks for this video, Dawn! Because of you I listen to Dr. Jenkins on his channel too, which has helped me so much overcome personal struggles I have as a mom to my young ones. Buyers remorse is so hard for some people and I am so glad you hit this topic. 🙏🏽
This video is PHENOMINAL. These principles can and should be applied not only to decluttering our physical environment, but our entire lives. Thank you!
I love this whole conversation. Looking to the positive and asking questions rather than statements. I totally love the idea of "Tuition money" rather than looking at the money that was wasted. I am always learning what I need and don't in my life. Another fantatsic interview Dawn. Thank you so much x
I agree. I’ve never not watched a video all the way through and have always felt so inspired and motivated after .. but not with this one. I felt more irritated than anything 🙁 not Dawn’s fault though
I agree but you know what ….. everyone’s brain works differently so it quite possible it resonated with others. I am sure Dawn just wanted to show a different take on decluttering. 💜
What an awesome conversation! Thank you Dawn for all you do: you are such an inspiration and this community that is growing here around your channel is just phenomenal!
Thank you for bringing Dr. Paul! I had heard him before and needed a reminder today, so I'm grateful for this video. My problem is often comparing not even to others but to my fantasy self. But like he says, IT IS WHAT IT IS. and as long as we are AWARE we can DECIDE which loop to take (compare to worse and create better or compare to better and create worse). I will download the booklet and keep it as a daily reminder. I am thankful for you!
Excellent video. I am not into blame or guilt about things from the past. IF guilt creeps in while I am decluttering, I remind myself that for this item the joy came from purchasing it and now it's going to bring someone else joy or use once it's out of my house. When I am out shopping and see something cute, I think forward about how I will eventually have to get rid of it and leave it on the shelf (most of the time). Progress, not perfection, right?
I have something to add to your conversation with this GREAT MAN that I’ve never ever even seen/heard before but plan to follow him and his wisdom…but I feel like the reason we never seem to ‘learn our lesson’ when it comes to buying something that SHOULD make us happy or make our lives easier, but DOESN’T, (and I didn’t hear you mention it) was that it’s not ALWAYS a bad decision! Sometimes that thing that was supposed to make me happy or make my life easier, actually DOES just that! Like my spin mop for example. So there’s always that example of ‘the time it worked’ that keeps us ‘stepping in it’ again and again. Just my two cents. And THANK YOU FOR THE FREE PRINTABLE from this inspiring man! So glad I clicked today. (As if I wouldn’t have!) 😊👍🏼❤️
It's funny that you should mention the spin mop. Previously I used the Swiffer, but because I moved into a place that has only laminate floors, felt that I needed something less wasteful. I did my research. It was between the spin mop or the Maker's mop. I went with the spin mop. I also purchased extra mopheads. I made the wrong choice. I spend way too much time bending down and wringing out the rest of the water off the mophead. Otherwise it is just too wet. I am going to save up for the Maker's mop instead. But it sure has been weighing heavily on my mind about the wrong choice and total expense of it. Still, I will put that grateful thinking into play.
Dr Paul is great! I've watched many of his RUclips videos and they do help you get through specific examples and situations as a parent or family. Thank you for bringing him on as a guest and I hope others check out his material
I was thinking about how grateful I was for this video, when Dr. Thank Paul mentioned Immaculee’. I absolutely love her! I’ve met her in person & she’s beautiful inside & out!! She offers a prayer on beads made in the village she lived in that’s LIFE CHANGING!! I’m now even more grateful for this video, as it’s given me an opportunity to to share my love for Immaculee’ & her tragic, yet amazingly beautiful life💗Thank you, Dawn & Dr. Paul🥰
I felt a little lost through this video. I always feel inspired by your other videos, you explain things and the message hits home instantly. Thank you, Tom and Diana for some great ideas and new insights on so many topics.
@@harrietcraig7817 the point is you don't need guilt to motivate you. It's actually demotivating. Just accept things as they are and try to do the next thing that moves you towards being more content. You don't have to say, "I feel guilty that I bought this," you can just say, "I bought this thinking it would accomplish my goal but it didn't. So now my goal is to move it out of my house, without guilt. Now I learned what didn't work to solve that problem. Maybe I can think over what way that it missed the mark and adjust my solution, and then try something new. And if that thing doesn't work, again it doesn't make me bad or wrong, it gives me more knowlege about how to solve the problem." Tldr: don't look at your purchase as good or bad but as what did I learn from it. Not "is it wrong," but does it work/meet my requirements/solve my problem?" The self judgment is completely unnecessary and counter-productive.
I would delete this video. Write down a few sentences that are worth putting in a different video, and delete this video. I'm hoping he doesn't read the negative comments. Nobody wants to hurt his feelings, he's just rambling compared to your normal videos.
@@BetterDays_Now I was actually thinking that too. But the guy has a following and he’s done a lot with his life so I don’t have a lot of standing to criticize. You are right on though, it’s the delivery and what we’re used to, not the message.
I love your show and have even said it has been like therapy for me. But I do not care for this guest. Something feels off. Still love your show. Blessings
He was awful. You are right she doesn’t have a good poker face at all 🤣🤣🤣 Even when her sister is talking you can see she’s in pain about half the time. 🤣🤣🤣
Although I found myself drifting and unable to concentrate on Dr. Jenkins message while watching, I thoroughly enjoyed the thoughtful comments on this video from other viewers. Lots of great ideas and suggestions that resonated there with me more!
Dawn... what a powerful video! Such a GREAT topic!!!! I want to share 1 thing I do when I just need something new... maybe just need to buy something... etc. I like to buy 2 or 3 bunches of fresh flowers (yes, from Walmart) so maybe a total of $10-$12...... I have bought something for myself, I get to enjoy it for a few days, it brings joy, but it isn't something that will now stay in my home, and later remind me I just have MORE clutter. So maybe just a tip, it is what has helped me just that little "fix"
Great analogy! I’ve said same thing about going out to dinner and sending $50 and we don’t try to keep the dinner after wards. It’s gone by the next day lol! We enjoyed and done with it. But yet we have such a hard time getting rid of items in our home. I like your flowers analogy better!
@@susanlawson9340 .... I hope you enjoy the fresh flowers, it just brings a pop of color into our homes, especially this time of year (when everything is WHITE here in Minnesota) and usually brings a smile. Hope you have a great weekend.
What a fabulous speaker. Definitely going to buy his book. One thing he said reminded me that I used to watch Super Nanny when my kids were younger to give me perspective and make me feel like a better mom. At least my kids weren’t that bad. Dawn, the best thing you said to help me declutter things I spent my money on was the example you did where you told people to pull up our bank accounts, then get rid of things and realize it doesn’t put the money back in your account. That really hit home for me. The money is gone. There is nothing I can do to change that. Keeping that item doesn’t change that.
So good! Had to listen to it twice, first time didn’t get it. Especially the second half. Really challenged me to look at my “naysayer” language that I seem to be blind to. This is not just about spending, but actually about perspective, gratitude, and how to navigate “challenging” situations (still noodling on that one…so good). Thank you Dawn for bringing this amazing guest to our lives! ❤️
Fascinating way of changing our focus . I have felt like the pandemic has been a blessing in so many ways! I am glad to have this placed in my awareness.
Love his messages of meta-cognition and how comparison robs us of joy. I do however want to bring up that he himself is comparing Rwanda to Auschwitz as "worse." Worse COMPARED TO WHAT, though. That's the point, yes? 1 million people killed in 1 day may have been more than were killed in one day in Auschwitz, but there were still 6 million people killed during the entire Holocaust. Honestly we should NEVER play the comparison game when it comes to the cost of human life and I just wanted to bring that up. Obviously any amount of life lost is too many ♡ All lives are precious. I don't mean to be critical, but in this day and age when antisemitism is soaring, we need to be extra careful with how we talk about the Holocaust. The comment didn't take away from how great the rest of his ideas are, but it rubbed me the wrong way and I felt I had to share, as I'm a proud orthodox jew who felt that minimized my peoples pain.
I don’t think he meant that Rwanda was worse than the Holocaust because there were more deaths. I think he only meant that the deaths from 1 day in Rwanda were worse than the deaths from 1 day in Auschwitz. I went back and listened to him again and that is what he was comparing.
@B.b. Gun right. But we should never play the comparison game in terms of deaths. I know he meant it in an off-the-cuff type of way, but feel that the Holocaust should never be brought up in an off-the-cuff type of way
It is important for all mankind to really listen and understand the pain different conquered groups have suffered. If a friend says they have cancer, we listen. We don’t one up their pain by telling them their suffering does not measure up to ours. Love and sympathy are universal.
Wow, I did not expect to be so very encouraged by a complete, intentional mindset shift! I have been grateful for how my minimalism journey has made it much easier for me to just let go of those things I "wasted money" on, but as of now I have _completely_ allowed myself to see previous purchases (and probably even many past mistakes in general) as simply decisions I made when my mindset was different. I only wore a pair of $80 boots only once because it turned out they were actually too tall for optimum comfort, but at the time I tried them on in store, they were quite comfy and I saw them as a better quality replacement of my similar but very cheap boots that were not aging well. Now that I have gone deeper on what my mindset was when I purchased them, I realize it was actually coming from really great intentions! What freedom to be able to say, "No, it wasn't a wrong decision, you just hadn't learned yet that 3-inch heels are too tall for you now." 😉 This has helped me to solidify even further the point that Dawn and Diana once made about, "Well, I learned _______ from this purchase." Thank you very much for this interview, Dawn 🥰
Oh Wow Dawn what a great chat you shared with us today! How inspiring it was. You asked all of the right questions I am sure we all had in our own heads and were hoping Dr Paul could answer to. Can't wait to read his pocket book and get onto his site. Many thanks for introducing me to him. You made such a powerful team in your video. Just love all that you do. Stay happy and well.
You got me with Dr Paul! I watch his parenting videos. I like the gratitude ideas & changing our perspectives so we can be more encouraging to ourselves and those around us. Definitely some wisdom for more than just decluttering. Thanks, Dawn! 😃
Such an inspiring video. Not just for decluttering but for all of life! Thanks Dawn and Dr Paul. 2 wonderfully kind and positive influences on my life 👍😊
Respectfully I disagree with him. Comparing your challenges or saying that it could always be better or worse is denying your feelings. Everyone needs to feel validated regardless of their circumstance. If someone feels that they are in challenging times, they are in fact in challenging times.
Acknowledging is important. That’s the recognition part that he’s talking about, but the goal is greater peace and happiness and we can’t get there by staying in our current feelings. Feel it, recognize it, but you have to move forward.
I think he was trying to make the point that we think first, and then those thoughts create our feelings. If we don't see a challenge, it won't be there. Getting a paper cut is more of a challenge to a toddler than to an adult because of experience and perspective. He definitely didn't give any sympathy to those difficult things people are dealing with concerning Covid. But he talked about how our feelings come from our perspective. What I got from it is we can try to see our 'mistakes' as learning experiences and stop beating ourselves up so that we can keep improving.
@@candicesummers5427 I absolutely agree! I and a friend both had strokes, at different times, my friend will always use the victim word and I on the other hand always use the survivor word…it’s all about mind set😊
I don't beat myself up as I declutter for making bad decisions. Not everything that clutters our home are bad decisions. Maybe buying an item was the right choice at the time, but the item has outlived its usefulness to me and taking up space. Now it is time for it to leave my home as other useful items are needed. My problem is holding onto things too long thinking it would be useful to someone else in our family later on. I need to let go of things I'm finished with at the time I realize I no longer need them.
I just went through this. I have been minimal for I think 3 years now where I got rid of 75-80% of the items in my home and it has been very successful for my home and family. This past year though I went through a buying journal "kick" (kicks- the story of my life before minimalism). At the time I thought I was making the right choice, and I thought it would help. Turns out I am not one who writes in a journal and apparently I only figured that out 10+ journals into it lol. It's a really cool fantasy self and it's a lesson I had to learn. I am now either using them to jot my daily to do list in (positive note is I have the prettiest to do lists notebooks :) ) or I am giving them away to journal people. It could have held me back or made me feel bad but it was a good lesson.
@@Myeverydaywifelife I did the Happy Planners as well. My daughters and one of their teachers ended up getting them. I can either laugh or cry about it , I choose laughter lol
What my husband says is when we're moving in a new item, "well you might as well leave it by the door because one of the kids will get it within a month". That is so true with me or at least it was. I would buy things I loved, or thought I did and in a very short time I would get tired of it or not have the right place to put it. Now I only keep things or buy things I really love. FYI there's not much the girls get to go through any more. I do give them and one of my friends 1st chance to go through my donate box. That gets smaller and smaller and it makes me very happy.
Today's video on "thinking about your thinking" is very valuable advice!! I must remember to apply this to all "what it is" in my life!!! THANK YOU DAWN .. all your vids are amazing!!💌👍👍from 🇨🇦
Oh my goodness, this has really opened my eyes. Work has me totally stressed out as well as so many other things. I have to start doing the gratitude lists and take my life back. Thank-you!
While this pandemic has been difficult for some, for others there has been so much good that has come out of it. I would love to hear comments from some of those people. And, while I can find sadness in losing my mom when I was just 20, I can be thankful for the time I did have, because my brother lost his mother when he was only 16. There is always someone who has been through so much worse, so find strength.
A very positive change in healthcare has happened because of COVID! Phone visits, e-visits, zoom visits, FaceTime visits with your healthcare professional are all here to stay!! This means more consistent care for those who have transportation, childcare, work issues. It means better mental health care for patients who are afraid of leaving home. There is a place for in person care but there is also a place for remote care.
Thank you, Dawn, for this conversation with Dr Paul. It was very enlightening. His visual and the explanation he gave really helped me change my mindset. Thank you both! XXOO ❤️
On the topic of discontentment…
We were wanting a new family vehicle. Mine runs fine but not aesthetically pleasing bc it’s 15 years old. Well the sticker shock of current used vehicles has me backing up. I’ve decided to take more pride in my mini van and wash it and vacuum it more regularly. Same goes for my home. when I clean my home I become more thankful for it.
I love the “soak up the sun” song’s sentiment. “It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got!”
1000% percent! 👏👏
I love this! So much of our discontentment can be helped with some simple cleaning. That’s why it’s the first step in home design. When we clean and declutter our space and we might just find we love it already.
I love this! Also, you might invest in some professional detailing. A good service will have it feeling like new! I asked for that as a birthday gift and it was better than I expected!
Oh this is so good!!! This is so true!!! And I also love that song!!!❤️❤️❤️
I had been wanting a newer car as well. Mine current car really suits my needs and runs well but was looking awful because the paint began to fail in the third year and now the car is nearly 15 years old. Every day I looked at it, I thought about how I had been complaining to the dealer about them not helping out with fixing the paint because it was just out of warranty. Instead I took it for a paint job. Now I feel like I am driving a brand new car and I fell back in love with it.
My friend told me once "Education is expensive" and that phrase has helped me a lot when I've made a regrettable decision that I want to move past - it helps me realize it's a learning opportunity, education through experience. That's my tuition fee to learn a lesson.
I watch a lot of eBay sellers even though I'm not one. They use the phrase "Pay to Learn" when they buy something that isn't worth what they thought it was going to be. Same idea.
Great mindset!
This is brilliant!
The two biggest things helping me declutter at the moment are “I’m never going to get the money back from this item but I can get my time back from dealing with it” and “Would I buy this item again full price?” The answer to the second is so often NO! I’ve been a minimalist for close to 10 years but I’m always peeling layers back and trying to correct bad spending habits.
Same
These are very helpful questions & perspectives.
I'm surprised at the number of negative reactions. I was inspired by Dr. Paul! My initial reaction was "this is typical analyst talk, using a lot of words but not really saying anything." I trudged along and somewhere between midway and the end it clicked and I really got what this guy was saying. So many of his references were absolutely on point! He was humorous, his delivery was deliberate, and his voice reassuring. This made such an impression on me that I plan to listen again! I've been struggling with personal "challenges" and this can be applied to all aspects of my life. So glad I listened all the way through!!
I am thrilled that this thought doesn't enter my mind. My hardest decision when minimizing is whether to donate or sell it. I've decided to donate everything since I don't want to handle it twice and spend precious time trying to sell it. I could use the money, but my time is worth more. Good video.
Yes🙌
Me too!
I am the exact same. I would love to make money on my things I no longer want/like/need, but I live in a small town where people want free stuff and expect you to deliver it too😂….I give to friends/family and my local charity.
This has held me up! I have boxes and boxes of items I decluttered but they are still sitting here because I "should" have a garage sale. They are all nice items and would sell well at a garage sale. But I lack energy and time. I need to make a decision soon.
@@krosario3322 sounds like you have already made one. 💞
I have done some serious de cluttering lately and had major guilt of the wasted money. It came to me that I haven’t always been good at tithing so this would be a perfect opportunity to give back. It really changed my perspective that I could bless others with beautiful things that I really didn’t need or didn’t fit. It wasn’t doing anyone any good for me to feel remorse and shame and hold on to these things just because they were expensive.
❤️
You are awesome! Understanding how we think and seeing that this is a learning process and changing for the better is a wonderful thing. I know that you are blessing other with all that you give. :)
Excellent perspective. On a par with the idea of blessing people with the perfectly good things we declutter; either directly or through donation centers.
This was so helpful. Just yesterday I donated 250 items to a domestic violence charity. This helps knowing I am giving really helps me get past the guilt. Thank you
When my husband was struck by lightning, I had a very hard time seeing anything good about the situation. As time when on, I found out I was surrounded by so many good people that were willing to help our family in our time of need. ❤️
Really good video. I was depressed during the 90s, partially due to grief. Someone told me "to be positive" but I couldn't understand how to be positive when something horrible happened. My depression didn't get better so I asked a woman I knew who lost her daughter how she dealt with her grief. She told me to do volunteer work for people who were more misersble than I was.
I found an "internet" cafe that would allowed me to take computer classes for volunteering. The purpose of the cafe was to provide affordable computer skills to everyone, including low-income people. Soon I found that many of the volunteers were former homeless people due to drug and alcohol addictions. These people were SO inspiring. They "pulled themselves up by their bootstraps" and created new businesses designing websites. I gained so much from volunteering there, including great friends and skills that would help me cope with future depressions.
So what I heard is we"re never wrong! I'm basically a happy person with a great sense of humor. I've always referred to what some might term mistakes as R&D, as I put stuff in my Goodwill bag I'll say things like "It's not you, it's me" or any other break-up line that pops into my head. When things are stressful I go with " it is what it is", find something to like about " stage IV cancer chemo- I didn't have to go into work every other Monday for 6 months - Score!! Hate that Monday morning alarm. I'm not perfect, but have learned the value of taking a step back, a physical step back, to remind me to assess a situation. If I've just decluttered an area I step back and admire, if something scary or stressful arises that physical step reminds me to stay calm and think before acting. Let's never beat ourselves up, let's never assume the worst - I'm still in remission 11 years after chemo, gratitude and attitude will take you farther than negativity ever will.
YES! Love this. I have also learned through tragedy to be kinder to myself. I give myself grace and even buy myself flowers. Glad you are doing well. ❤
So spot on! Taking this attitude into child rearing and other relationships makes all the difference.
Oh yay!! Two people who have greatly blessed and enriched my life…
I ♥️ and admire you both!!
As someone deep in her battle against and *recovery* from various forms of OCD -as well as hoarding disorder- this especially resonated with me:
@15:09 “I love that we get to have control over our own thinking - once we’re aware of it. Because either you drive our thoughts or your thoughts’ll drive you.”
I’ll never watch a video with him in it again. I got 16 minutes in and couldn’t stand to listen to him talk for another minute. He is not promoting the same positive vibe and easy understanding that you are.
100% agree with you
This has been the best free therapy session I’ve EVER had! Thank you, Dawn and thank you, Dr. Paul.
Absolutely the most uplifting helpful ‘teaching! I’ve heard in a long time. Thank you for sharing Dr. Paul with us, Dawn. It’s amazing how reframing a situation with positive words causes one’s mind to rest instead of fret and moves one from regret to being creative. 🙏
My way of getting past the guilt is the idea that much of my decluttering and many of my “mistake” purchases are like gardening….I did my best to prepare my soil and sow the seeds and some come up and are fruitful and some seeds don’t and/or aren’t fruitful. AAND, sometimes our garden is SO fruitful and full of abundance that I can’t possibly use it all, so I’m happy to give some away. And sometimes, we have to throw some rotten things in a compost or burn pile. These outcomes of my garden are all acceptable and worthy of my acknowledgment of continuous learning and gratitude, not guilt. Most of us are experiencing feeling bad for living in a time in history where we are all surrounded by abundance and we have been trained to feel bad about it instead of being grateful stewards. We must deal with the abundance and maintain our gardens and spaces. Decluttering is like the never ending tasks of gardening like watering, weeding, harvesting, and processing. It’s nothing to feel bad about when we have stuff to get rid of from our homes whether it’s dust, unused food, trash, or unused clothes.
Beautiful thinking!
What a great analogy!
Hey, I love this so much! Especially when I hope to be a gardener and plant my own food some day 😊
“These outcomes of my garden are all acceptable and worthy of my acknowledgement of continuous learning and gratitude, not guilt.” As a gardener myself, that really resonates with me!
Wow, April, what a wonderful way to think about decluttering!
Hi Dawn, I love the effort you put into generating such varied and interesting content. I never comment anything negative on anyone’s channel but I wanted to ask if you would please consider not using background music like this in videos which are conversations. I found myself so distracted from the music that I kept having to go back and replay sections. Your editing in your videos is wonderful and I love your use of music normally. But I felt this was a weighty topic and I wanted to really listen carefully and it was difficult to block out the music. I debated whether or not to comment, but decided that I would give the feedback because I value your channel so much and watch every video you post.
I totally agree with you. The music was very distracting. It was cluttering my mind that I could not focus on what was being said.
Respectfully, I think you might be helping prove their point. This guy is what he is. To you, maybe he is worse than other therapists you’ve heard…but to me, he is better. You may be irritated by this video, but I was inspired. Both of our evaluations are real, but not necessarily reliable.
@@JustOneDress why is he bad? (Genuinely asking) I stopped listening pretty early because I’m not a fan of his tendency to speak a lot but say almost nothing. But I don’t know his background.
Totally agree about the music! Paul rambling and the music together was just overkill. Still love you Dawn!!!
I love Dawn, no change there but he was super mansplain-y I enjoy Dawn's way of making sense of purchasing in haste, or out of an emotional pull from an object etc. This guy just didn't resonate at all with me - but i appreciate how Dawn is always trying different angles to try and help All of us! We are all so different and so she never quits on us !!! Thanks Dawn!!!!
This interview is gold! I hope you’ll do more interviews in the future :-)
This is a piece of gold that I learned years ago: thinking creates feelings, feelings create actions, actions create behavior, behavior creates character. I have it written on a note card and I refer to it often!
I just watched this video again and realize that he really does an incredible job of getting to the absolute core of why some people get stuck and can’t move past their habits or addictions. It’s all about self-judgement and shame. If we can learn to stop judging ourselves so harshly, be kinder to ourselves, be our own loving parents, we can nurture and teach the child within is and we can finally start to grow. Wow. That is it. One of my favorites of all of the episodes on this channel.
It is so refreshing to hear someone say we are hardwired to judge everything. So many use "judgmental" as a negative word (which in itself is "judgmental") when in reality we, especially as adults, could not function in our daily lives if we did not constantly evaluate or "judge" everything and everyone. This is how we make good choices among things we buy and/or keep, people we associate with and actions we take.
I was exhausted by Dr. Paul, but I did actually succeed decluttering something using the "tuition" idea. I tried on a pretty bracelet in a shop and was in a hurry. It was hard to take off, so hard that I left it on my wrist as I paid! At home I realized it was an impossible clasp, I felt the pain/guilt as I donated it and told myself - you paid $20 to learn to never buy jewelry again without really inspecting it.
I have a struggle following him. It's exhausting to me, as well.
@@elizabethsydnor3257 I couldn't get past the first minute with him, so I came here to the comments. I've learned here what I would have by watching him.
Yeah, he really rubbed me the wrong way. I got through 2/3 of the video because I was doing dishes. First time I haven't finished one of Dawn's videos!
Agreed, but I think the background music throughout was the problem clutter! A little too much for my mind to focus on both. I kept trying to lower the video and realized I wanted to block out the music. Otherwise love all of Dawn's videos.
Omg I can’t count the number of times I almost shut this one down.
Then I thought Dawn was struggling through it (rewatch it-if you can-just looking at her facial expressions)
Smile on!
For those of us who can learn from other's experiences, thank you for making purchases you regret. And telling us about them.
I love not only your channel, but the fact that you lead me to all of these other great RUclipsrs too! I spent most of my life avoiding anything self help, and now I'm all over your channel, Dana's and Cass's and listening to all of the books you and Cass recommend. Thank you!
This guy is great. Thanks for having him.
If y'all haven't read this book, read the power of now. Changed my life.
Just held psychology class with my family. This technique of managing one’s self is so good. Truly obvious but unnoticed in this level of detail. This technique applies to every situation. Two preteens (and their parents) are glad for this lesson. Many thanks, Dawn and Dr. Paul.
I love you dawn and you have motivated me to do so much in decluttering my home and living more simply over the last year. You are very genuine and Tom makes me laugh; he reminds me of my own husband. Very similar humor!
I think people get the words guilt and shame mixed up or see it as meaning the same thing. Guilt...is supposed to be a reminder and motivator to turn a different direction. Going from wrong to right. A little inside compass from God.
Shame comes from the adversary to make us feel worthless. Shame is a place where we don't want to be and I can see how positivity can help steer us away from feeling less than. We are children of God and the adversary makes us want to forget that.
I don't like the term "guilt free" at all. We should be grateful God gave us a conscience or compass to keep us on the road to making good choices.
Last thought,
I was not enjoying Dr Paul. I don't get the same genuine feeling I get from you and he was all over the place...going on different tangents that didn't follow your questions.
Bring back Dawn and Tom Fridays.
Hmmm. I didn't feel that way. You could tell he had presented this a great deal and he had some formulas for doing so. But I felt he was sincere and the concepts are powerful for those who embrace them.
Same, he had some good ideas but that was loooooong.
Love your guilt v. shame comparison. This is something I'm going to teach my kids.
@@diellensy27 yes. I'm glad you like the guilt vs shame. Satan wants us to hide, shame us, make us feel alone. He is the great accuser.
Guilt is like, oh man, I messed up...let me change my ways. I need God in my life. I need his mercy and forgiveness. Let me open up to him. No hiding. We are enveloped in love.
I agree fully: Dawn or Dawn and Tom videos are soooo much better. He is all over the place and he said something that could be said in 5 minutes over 30!!
Same! Did not learn anything from him. But LOVE Dawn.
This way of handling things can be useful in so many circumstances. Listening to this makes me realize that I could have kept many purchases from becoming clutter later if I had made a decision earlier on in the process to take it back to the store. Really, for many items, we know right away that they aren’t quite right but we talk ourselves into keeping them to wait and see or till it fits our fantasy self in a few months etc. I don’t beat myself up too much over purchases but I think this will help me to just not buy/keep things that aren’t right from the get go.
Thank you for stating this! I just purchased new drapes for our bedroom because I wanted a lighter (in color) look. Long story short, I put up one pair of the new drapes and realized they didn’t work even though I love the color compared to the others - everything else about them actually made my current ones look better - lol…SO, I returned them within 24 hours! Store rep was super nice and actually said, “Sometimes, things we thought we wanted or we thought would work out, just don’t and that is OK”. 🤗
This is so true. And I've been really making a habit of returning what I don't feel good about once I'm home. It has helped so much in the past couple years.
I used to feel bad about returning items but now I think this is my prerogative in a world where marketing is making us nuts with all the things that supposedly are good for us, make our lives easier, help our children learn, make us more comfortable, etc.
But I'm slowly getting better not even falling for it and not making purchases in the first place 😉 the mantra "do I really want to manage that inventory" is amazing in making more responsible decisions for me and my family
So true about our thoughts! Absolutely! I loved when he said, “or we go watch ‘Hoarders’ on tv and feel better about ourselves.” 😂
Hi Dawn
I’m really enjoying these interviews with your favorite authors
Thank you
LOVE Dr Paul's point that these aren't really "challenging" times on a large scale.
Absolutely one of my favourite videos to date! I just let go of some things that where homeschool related and you can imagine the jble of guilt that went into the last 5 months its been sat there down doing nothing!
It felt so awesome! And this video was super inspiring 👏
I still do it like last year. I divided our home in 10 areas, mostly 1 room. Then I assigned each area to a month, January to October, leaving out the holiday months. So each month I have one area to declutter and deep clean. And it works, for me anyway. And I get better at it, slowly. Even with buyer's remorse. I am not looking for perfection. Just peace of mind. 😊
Way to go with using a system that works for you. I think that will help a lot of people to give them time to break down the task of getting things out of the home.
I liked that "not looking for perfection"! That is half the battle for me. Good job!
I really like your system Lia! I don't have 10 rooms, but I could use that system for 12 areas like clothing, books, paper, laptop, kitchen ware etc. Thank you!
Great method! I have used that method. Since the pandemic, I have gotten out of it. I must get back to it, like you!
This is a great idea!!
I love the hoarders comment because watching that show while decluttering gives me motivation!
This was such a great video! Some of my favorite content so far. Digging into how we judge ourselves and can turn that thinking around to create positive change is huge! Thanks, Dawn and crew, for bringing us such wonderful information and hopeful messages!
This was so awesome! Thanks so much for chatting with Dr. Paul and for sharing with us. So inspiring
Wonderful deep conversations. I guess it’s all about emotional intelligence. Is it intelligent to keep doing what does not work? My husband is battling cancer and I have reverted back to “retail therapy” in order to feel a little better. This has made me feel bad about myself as I have been working hard to change my “not helpful” habits. Self flagellation is only making me feel worse. This video has really helped me see clearer that I must chose to think about my wrong doing as not the end of the world - A temporary relapse under extreme conditions. This has helped me forgive myself - I can feel my mood changing for the good. Thank you 🙏❤️
The nonverbal interaction between you was fascinating. He thought he was connecting with the topic but never really hit the mark.
Love, Love, LOVE this positive brain spin! And I am looking forward to reading Dr Jenkins' short book. I had in the past done the thought comparison of being grateful for what I have, experience etc because I know others have it worse. But during these last 2 years, I think by being surrounded by the 'woe is me' attitude everywhere - friends, news, social media - that I began to take that on board a bit too. So thank you Dawn for having this particular discussion with Dr Jenkins!
I appreciate the idea of not thinking guilty thoughts because you didn’t know what the outcome was going to be before you made the decision. Just make it a learning experience. That speaks to my teaching nature. ❤️
Omg, I just discovered this guy last week. What an amazing mindshift, relieve yourself of guilt and stress of failure. Look at lost time and past decisions as lessons learned to upgrade your life.
What a great session. When I was a child, I read about Pollyanna's Glad Game and it had a big effect on me and I have always tried to look for the positive in any situation. Over the years I have been accused of being unrealistic, unsympathetic, and not being sensible and even "pollyannaish". I think I was being very realistic in looking at whatever the situation is and examining all aspects and comparing to what it might be. NOW I see the link to gratitude and recognising that "every situation is neutral, and how we look at it can always be changed. Go Pollyanna!
This is so awesome! I love that he talked about how we see thing in our minds and that things are neutral. This opens so much to how I need to think about my actions and that I am still learning. Now I will see thing in a positive way. I hope that you will too.
I actually did watch several episodes of Hoarders before beginning my assessment of what & how to declutter. It made me see that I have some tendencies that those people had as well as see that I have some good and bad habits, which DID motivate me to do some creative thinking. Amazing to hear this process explained so well!
It seems to me that in that process of recognition, would be to know Who to look to & thank so you can be grateful and thank Him for the wonderful way He not only made us, but also helps us when we remember to ask! A change in focus off our situation onto what does the Lord require of me is THE best way to change one's perspective, because it brings hope.
Thanks for this video, Dawn!
Because of you I listen to Dr. Jenkins on his channel too, which has helped me so much overcome personal struggles I have as a mom to my young ones.
Buyers remorse is so hard for some people and I am so glad you hit this topic. 🙏🏽
I love Dr. Paul Jenkins and his wife too! Thank you Dawn and Tom for all you do and bring to us.
This video is PHENOMINAL. These principles can and should be applied not only to decluttering our physical environment, but our entire lives. Thank you!
Omg Dawn, this was such a powerful conversation! Thank you so much for creating this!
I love this whole conversation. Looking to the positive and asking questions rather than statements.
I totally love the idea of "Tuition money" rather than looking at the money that was wasted.
I am always learning what I need and don't in my life. Another fantatsic interview Dawn.
Thank you so much x
Sorry, usually love your videos Dawn but this was not for me, you don't need all that hogwash, you explain it way better than he has 🇬🇧
I agree. I’ve never not watched a video all the way through and have always felt so inspired and motivated after .. but not with this one. I felt more irritated than anything 🙁 not Dawn’s fault though
I agree but you know what ….. everyone’s brain works differently so it quite possible it resonated with others. I am sure Dawn just wanted to show a different take on decluttering. 💜
I agree this guy is terrible I didn’t like him at all
Wow. His message isn’t just about decluttering. It’s life. Love this!
What an awesome conversation! Thank you Dawn for all you do: you are such an inspiration and this community that is growing here around your channel is just phenomenal!
Yay! Dr. Paul and the Minimal Mom! I’ve been following both! So happy to see this!
Thank you for bringing Dr. Paul! I had heard him before and needed a reminder today, so I'm grateful for this video.
My problem is often comparing not even to others but to my fantasy self. But like he says, IT IS WHAT IT IS. and as long as we are AWARE we can DECIDE which loop to take (compare to worse and create better or compare to better and create worse). I will download the booklet and keep it as a daily reminder.
I am thankful for you!
Excellent video. I am not into blame or guilt about things from the past. IF guilt creeps in while I am decluttering, I remind myself that for this item the joy came from purchasing it and now it's going to bring someone else joy or use once it's out of my house.
When I am out shopping and see something cute, I think forward about how I will eventually have to get rid of it and leave it on the shelf (most of the time).
Progress, not perfection, right?
I have something to add to your conversation with this GREAT MAN that I’ve never ever even seen/heard before but plan to follow him and his wisdom…but I feel like the reason we never seem to ‘learn our lesson’ when it comes to buying something that SHOULD make us happy or make our lives easier, but DOESN’T, (and I didn’t hear you mention it) was that it’s not ALWAYS a bad decision! Sometimes that thing that was supposed to make me happy or make my life easier, actually DOES just that!
Like my spin mop for example.
So there’s always that example of ‘the time it worked’ that keeps us ‘stepping in it’ again and again.
Just my two cents.
And THANK YOU FOR THE FREE PRINTABLE from this inspiring man!
So glad I clicked today. (As if I wouldn’t have!)
😊👍🏼❤️
It's funny that you should mention the spin mop. Previously I used the Swiffer, but because I moved into a place that has only laminate floors, felt that I needed something less wasteful. I did my research. It was between the spin mop or the Maker's mop. I went with the spin mop. I also purchased extra mopheads. I made the wrong choice. I spend way too much time bending down and wringing out the rest of the water off the mophead. Otherwise it is just too wet. I am going to save up for the Maker's mop instead. But it sure has been weighing heavily on my mind about the wrong choice and total expense of it. Still, I will put that grateful thinking into play.
Dr Paul is great! I've watched many of his RUclips videos and they do help you get through specific examples and situations as a parent or family. Thank you for bringing him on as a guest and I hope others check out his material
I was thinking about how grateful I was for this video, when Dr. Thank Paul mentioned Immaculee’. I absolutely love her! I’ve met her in person & she’s beautiful inside & out!! She offers a prayer on beads made in the village she lived in that’s LIFE CHANGING!! I’m now even more grateful for this video, as it’s given me an opportunity to to share my love for Immaculee’ & her tragic, yet amazingly beautiful life💗Thank you, Dawn & Dr. Paul🥰
Love that you had Dr. Paul on your channel! He's another RUclipsr that I follow and LOVE all of his wisdom!!! Great idea!
I felt a little lost through this video. I always feel inspired by your other videos, you explain things and the message hits home instantly. Thank you, Tom and Diana for some great ideas and new insights on so many topics.
…because this guy never really gets around to the point-ANY point.
Is he a PhD?
How?
@@harrietcraig7817 the point is you don't need guilt to motivate you. It's actually demotivating. Just accept things as they are and try to do the next thing that moves you towards being more content. You don't have to say, "I feel guilty that I bought this," you can just say, "I bought this thinking it would accomplish my goal but it didn't. So now my goal is to move it out of my house, without guilt. Now I learned what didn't work to solve that problem. Maybe I can think over what way that it missed the mark and adjust my solution, and then try something new. And if that thing doesn't work, again it doesn't make me bad or wrong, it gives me more knowlege about how to solve the problem."
Tldr: don't look at your purchase as good or bad but as what did I learn from it. Not "is it wrong," but does it work/meet my requirements/solve my problem?" The self judgment is completely unnecessary and counter-productive.
I would delete this video.
Write down a few sentences that are worth putting in a different video, and delete this video. I'm hoping he doesn't read the negative comments. Nobody wants to hurt his feelings, he's just rambling compared to your normal videos.
@@BetterDays_Now I was actually thinking that too.
But the guy has a following and he’s done a lot with his life so I don’t have a lot of standing to criticize.
You are right on though, it’s the delivery and what we’re used to, not the message.
I love Dr. Paul from Live on Purpose!!! I am thrilled about these collaborations! So stinkin cool, Dawn!
I can't believe how awesome this man is!!!!! What a fun, intelligent conversation that was!
I love your show and have even said it has been like therapy for me. But I do not care for this guest. Something feels off. Still love your show. Blessings
Thought this guy was great! Funny, light, informative and relatable. Really resonated with his talk. Thanks!
Not sure what all the negativity was about. Guess we all relate differently.
Dawn,
Girl, you dont have a poker face… i dont think you were buying what he was selling, lol. Good interview. Keep it up!
He was awful. You are right she doesn’t have a good poker face at all 🤣🤣🤣 Even when her sister is talking you can see she’s in pain about half the time. 🤣🤣🤣
Although I found myself drifting and unable to concentrate on Dr. Jenkins message while watching, I thoroughly enjoyed the thoughtful comments on this video from other viewers. Lots of great ideas and suggestions that resonated there with me more!
Dawn... what a powerful video! Such a GREAT topic!!!! I want to share 1 thing I do when I just need something new... maybe just need to buy something... etc. I like to buy 2 or 3 bunches of fresh flowers (yes, from Walmart) so maybe a total of $10-$12...... I have bought something for myself, I get to enjoy it for a few days, it brings joy, but it isn't something that will now stay in my home, and later remind me I just have MORE clutter. So maybe just a tip, it is what has helped me just that little "fix"
I am going to Walmart!! What a great idea!!! Ty 4 sharing!
Great analogy! I’ve said same thing about going out to dinner and sending $50 and we don’t try to keep the dinner after wards. It’s gone by the next day lol! We enjoyed and done with it. But yet we have such a hard time getting rid of items in our home. I like your flowers analogy better!
Then again there are those items we buy but then never use and feel we need to keep them until we at least use them for a little bit. 🤪
@@susanlawson9340 .... I hope you enjoy the fresh flowers, it just brings a pop of color into our homes, especially this time of year (when everything is WHITE here in Minnesota) and usually brings a smile. Hope you have a great weekend.
@@Myeverydaywifelife ... yes, exactly. I hope you can enjoy some beautiful flowers too!
What a fabulous speaker. Definitely going to buy his book. One thing he said reminded me that I used to watch Super Nanny when my kids were younger to give me perspective and make me feel like a better mom. At least my kids weren’t that bad.
Dawn, the best thing you said to help me declutter things I spent my money on was the example you did where you told people to pull up our bank accounts, then get rid of things and realize it doesn’t put the money back in your account. That really hit home for me. The money is gone. There is nothing I can do to change that. Keeping that item doesn’t change that.
So good! Had to listen to it twice, first time didn’t get it. Especially the second half. Really challenged me to look at my “naysayer” language that I seem to be blind to. This is not just about spending, but actually about perspective, gratitude, and how to navigate “challenging” situations (still noodling on that one…so good). Thank you Dawn for bringing this amazing guest to our lives! ❤️
Thank you Dr. Paul and Dawn - this was great.
This is great. Entertaining, funny and very thought-provoking. I loved the interaction between you and Dr Paul Jones. Keep up the good work. :)
Fascinating way of changing our focus . I have felt like the pandemic has been a blessing in so many ways! I am glad to have this placed in my awareness.
Love his messages of meta-cognition and how comparison robs us of joy. I do however want to bring up that he himself is comparing Rwanda to Auschwitz as "worse." Worse COMPARED TO WHAT, though. That's the point, yes? 1 million people killed in 1 day may have been more than were killed in one day in Auschwitz, but there were still 6 million people killed during the entire Holocaust. Honestly we should NEVER play the comparison game when it comes to the cost of human life and I just wanted to bring that up. Obviously any amount of life lost is too many ♡ All lives are precious. I don't mean to be critical, but in this day and age when antisemitism is soaring, we need to be extra careful with how we talk about the Holocaust. The comment didn't take away from how great the rest of his ideas are, but it rubbed me the wrong way and I felt I had to share, as I'm a proud orthodox jew who felt that minimized my peoples pain.
Yes, I found it shocking.
I don’t think he meant that Rwanda was worse than the Holocaust because there were more deaths. I think he only meant that the deaths from 1 day in Rwanda were worse than the deaths from 1 day in Auschwitz. I went back and listened to him again and that is what he was comparing.
@B.b. Gun right. But we should never play the comparison game in terms of deaths. I know he meant it in an off-the-cuff type of way, but feel that the Holocaust should never be brought up in an off-the-cuff type of way
@J& G glad I'm not the only one. It jolted me
It is important for all mankind to really listen and understand the pain different conquered groups have suffered. If a friend says they have cancer, we listen. We don’t one up their pain by telling them their suffering does not measure up to ours. Love and sympathy are universal.
THANK YOU Dawn for this session with Dr. Paul!!
This was amazing! I love Dr. Paul. He truly makes you think 🤔 and you feel so good after listening to him.
Dawn, this is by far my favorite of all your videos. Thank you to you and to Dr. Paul!
Wow, I did not expect to be so very encouraged by a complete, intentional mindset shift!
I have been grateful for how my minimalism journey has made it much easier for me to just let go of those things I "wasted money" on, but as of now I have _completely_ allowed myself to see previous purchases (and probably even many past mistakes in general) as simply decisions I made when my mindset was different.
I only wore a pair of $80 boots only once because it turned out they were actually too tall for optimum comfort, but at the time I tried them on in store, they were quite comfy and I saw them as a better quality replacement of my similar but very cheap boots that were not aging well.
Now that I have gone deeper on what my mindset was when I purchased them, I realize it was actually coming from really great intentions! What freedom to be able to say, "No, it wasn't a wrong decision, you just hadn't learned yet that 3-inch heels are too tall for you now." 😉
This has helped me to solidify even further the point that Dawn and Diana once made about, "Well, I learned _______ from this purchase."
Thank you very much for this interview, Dawn 🥰
Oh Wow Dawn what a great chat you shared with us today! How inspiring it was. You asked all of the right questions I am sure we all had in our own heads and were hoping Dr Paul could answer to. Can't wait to read his pocket book and get onto his site. Many thanks for introducing me to him. You made such a powerful team in your video. Just love all that you do. Stay happy and well.
Great video, Dawn! This was valuable info on how to reframe our thinking. I believe it will help me a lot in the days & weeks to come.
Thank you Dawn and Doctor Paul. 💜😎💜
What a perspective shift! Thanks Dawn & Dr. Paul
Wow. One of my favourite Minimal Mom videos so far Dawn. Just awesome. Thank you so much 💓
All things considered- watching the video, reading the comments and sub-comments, I got LOT of VALUE out of this episode! Thank you Dawn...
Thank you Dr. Paul Jenkins and Dawn!
You got me with Dr Paul! I watch his parenting videos. I like the gratitude ideas & changing our perspectives so we can be more encouraging to ourselves and those around us. Definitely some wisdom for more than just decluttering. Thanks, Dawn! 😃
“That’s good to know.” 💡I really like that!
One of the most beneficial interviews seen in a long time. Thank you Dr. Paul Jenkins and Dawn!
Such an inspiring video. Not just for decluttering but for all of life! Thanks Dawn and Dr Paul. 2 wonderfully kind and positive influences on my life 👍😊
I REALLY ENJOYED this video. Thank you @ The Minimal Mom & Dr. Paul Jenkins.
Hello Rosanne how are you doing?
You are so patient and gracious with him!
Respectfully I disagree with him. Comparing your challenges or saying that it could always be better or worse is denying your feelings. Everyone needs to feel validated regardless of their circumstance. If someone feels that they are in challenging times, they are in fact in challenging times.
Acknowledging is important. That’s the recognition part that he’s talking about, but the goal is greater peace and happiness and we can’t get there by staying in our current feelings. Feel it, recognize it, but you have to move forward.
I think he was trying to make the point that we think first, and then those thoughts create our feelings. If we don't see a challenge, it won't be there. Getting a paper cut is more of a challenge to a toddler than to an adult because of experience and perspective. He definitely didn't give any sympathy to those difficult things people are dealing with concerning Covid. But he talked about how our feelings come from our perspective. What I got from it is we can try to see our 'mistakes' as learning experiences and stop beating ourselves up so that we can keep improving.
@@andreamiles9391 The talk was not on COVID he was absolutely correct not to be address it 😊
@@candicesummers5427 I absolutely agree! I and a friend both had strokes, at different times, my friend will always use the victim word and I on the other hand always use the survivor word…it’s all about mind set😊
I don't beat myself up as I declutter for making bad decisions. Not everything that clutters our home are bad decisions. Maybe buying an item was the right choice at the time, but the item has outlived its usefulness to me and taking up space. Now it is time for it to leave my home as other useful items are needed. My problem is holding onto things too long thinking it would be useful to someone else in our family later on. I need to let go of things I'm finished with at the time I realize I no longer need them.
This was amazing!🌟 dear Dawn. Thank you so much!!
Immaculee spoke at my parish and she is remarkable and courageous in faith in God!😇
Absolutely a wonderful conversation between you both 😊💚💜❤️💙🧡
I just went through this. I have been minimal for I think 3 years now where I got rid of 75-80% of the items in my home and it has been very successful for my home and family. This past year though I went through a buying journal "kick" (kicks- the story of my life before minimalism). At the time I thought I was making the right choice, and I thought it would help. Turns out I am not one who writes in a journal and apparently I only figured that out 10+ journals into it lol. It's a really cool fantasy self and it's a lesson I had to learn. I am now either using them to jot my daily to do list in (positive note is I have the prettiest to do lists notebooks :) ) or I am giving them away to journal people. It could have held me back or made me feel bad but it was a good lesson.
Ha I feel you on the journals! I’ve done that with planners! Guess what I am not that person. A notepad to write my to do list does just fine! 🤪
@@Myeverydaywifelife I did the Happy Planners as well. My daughters and one of their teachers ended up getting them. I can either laugh or cry about it , I choose laughter lol
What my husband says is when we're moving in a new item, "well you might as well leave it by the door because one of the kids will get it within a month". That is so true with me or at least it was. I would buy things I loved, or thought I did and in a very short time I would get tired of it or not have the right place to put it. Now I only keep things or buy things I really love. FYI there's not much the girls get to go through any more. I do give them and one of my friends 1st chance to go through my donate box. That gets smaller and smaller and it makes me very happy.
Today's video on "thinking about your thinking" is very valuable advice!! I must remember to apply this to all "what it is" in my life!!! THANK YOU DAWN .. all your vids are amazing!!💌👍👍from 🇨🇦
Oh my goodness, this has really opened my eyes. Work has me totally stressed out as well as so many other things. I have to start doing the gratitude lists and take my life back. Thank-you!
This is so powerful. I am struggling with my mental illness and this video helped me forgive myself.
I’m a huge Dr. Paul’s fan! I love his parenting tips. So glad you two had this conversation 💗💗💗
While this pandemic has been difficult for some, for others there has been so much good that has come out of it. I would love to hear comments from some of those people. And, while I can find sadness in losing my mom when I was just 20, I can be thankful for the time I did have, because my brother lost his mother when he was only 16. There is always someone who has been through so much worse, so find strength.
A very positive change in healthcare has happened because of COVID! Phone visits, e-visits, zoom visits, FaceTime visits with your healthcare professional are all here to stay!! This means more consistent care for those who have transportation, childcare, work issues. It means better mental health care for patients who are afraid of leaving home. There is a place for in person care but there is also a place for remote care.
Thank you, Dawn, for this conversation with Dr Paul. It was very enlightening. His visual and the explanation he gave really helped me change my mindset. Thank you both! XXOO ❤️