A Psychologist's Thoughts On Love and Marriage-Orion Taraban, Psy.D. (Part 2)
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- Part 2 of a Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Orion Taraban, psychologist in the San Francisco Bay area. Orion's RUclips channel is / @psychacks .
Here’s a link to Orion’s first SWU video:
• A Psychologist's Thoug...
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#psychologist #mentalhealth #realstories #professional #sanfrancisco #softwhiteunderbelly #marklaita #softwhiteunderbelly #marklaita #portraitphotography
My first video with Orion was probably a bit too triggering for some viewers, but this longer talk shows his incredible insights and understanding. I urge viewers who were upset by last week’s post to give this video a chance and see if Orion’s definition of love isn’t the best and most beautiful one you’ve ever heard.
I’m watching it now Mark
You didn’t need to comment this. Who cares if it was triggering. That’s life they will get over it. We love the content.
I think it was you glazing him a bit too much
I loved this definition of love from the first moment I heard it
Much more INTERESTING than his first bit. Really enjoying it so far
This man is brilliant. He answers all the questions everybody is incapable of even knowing need to be asked.
Exactly. Listen to him explaining what love is... based on his own introspection. Brilliant.
(p.s. I don't think I agree with everything he says, but he is making me think. For instance, I suspect there's a relation between his calculatedness and lack of luck in relationships)
Fuckin a right man an educated man that says things in lamen terms
When I was young in my 20’s 30’s and 40’s I put a value on everything I did at work and in my marriage. Now that I am in my 60’s I have come to realize how much it is an honor to perform Acts of Service for others. There will never be a paycheck for household domestic work; for cooking, doing laundry, vacuuming, cleaning toilets etc.. For many this “lowliest work of all” falls to women primarily. It’s easy to resent having to do this work and feel undervalued, unless a person feels inward value and pride in being a servant to those we love more than anything in this world. I used to think I was too good to do these things but now I am proud to be the good caregiver, the rock of the family. It’s a joy.
Those are values you pass down to your children regardless of whether they are male or female. If you think you’re too good for them so will your kids.
They’re watching you.
You found the true meaning of love- giving while expecting nothing in return.
he who wants to be greatest, let him be the servant of all....Yeshua our messiah (Jesus)
@@sarahevans3622you wish
The worse thing is when you do everything and people complain it’s not what they want to eat, they don’t care how clean anything is, and so on. It get hard serving when you just get complaints in response.
I wish Mark would have asked him the usual personal questions - childhood, parents, romantic history, career path. Would be fascinating to see how his life has shaped his beliefs, and how he walks the talk
He is a licensed psychologist so i'm sure real life interactions and learning about male and female nature nailed it.
In some of his videos, he talks about having unhealthy relationships in early adult life.
Yea he was normal person. @@DangRenBo
@@jasonolinger7585 Right. He's very open about his former mistakes and his growth. He seems very sincere.
In the "normal" sense he doesn't walk the talk because that's the poin,there is no walk,there is no normal,there are no rules.Especially in love...
"The more she likes you, the greater the discount" just plain truth.
It's a lie. If she wants to have sex with the man, why wouldn't she? If she doesnt want sex with the man, she's trying to like him to make up for her lack of desire.
Absolutely. And she breaks all the bedroom rules for the certain top 1% of guys for free- and makes you wait until after the cash and prizes for the birthday B-job once a year
I’ve seen it. It’s the truth.
👏🏿👏🏿
Why not rather say the more she likes you, the higher is the gain, win or whatever word?
Also this isn't brain surgery.
The more I fancy someone, the more willing am I to make that person happy.
You didn't need a psychologist to tell you that.
I hope the same goes for you.
When you truly like someone, you want them to be happy.
This guy is making plain sense into something so intricate and deep that many struggle to find meaning behind his words.
Yes please have Orion Taraban back on. I just finished part two. It's one of the best interviews I've ever seen.
Ok, Pickmesha.
None of what he says is accurate, though. He’s a clown.
Hurt feeling there Jackie boy 😂
@@darkvalkyrie5366 Pickmesha took me out hahahaa
@@JacksTracks-jw5mvok
I glanced and clicked on Part 1 thinking that it read "A Psychopath's Thoughts on Love..." (because it's Soft White🤷). I was listening thinking, "Wow, this psycho has more wisdom and insight than a psychologist."
Psychopaths often have the highest understanding of women, why do you think they are so successful with women??
😂 me too…. Exactly
😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
💀🤣🤣🤣🤣
41:24: "That woman was getting paid 10,000.00/Hr. to do laundry (based on her BF paying all of the bills + laundry taking roughly 2 hours a month) but she decided that doing laundry was too low value for her." Perspective.
That's how dumb the modern woman is these days. And sadly more and more woman are becoming like this. Overlooking simple things in life/relationships all because they think they deserve better or more. When in reality they don't have anything to offer in terms of usefulness.
Women are holes to use. Never get attached.
Funny how some people are just leeches to your life.
Love how women lack logic or they’d live far happier more peaceful lives.
Ironic men try to show them the logic yet they want the emotional game
Oh well….
A lot of people are "doing the right thing with the wrong person". There's a nugget.
I think that so many people have chosen the wrong lovers and paid dearly for it through pain and suffering that this is a breakthrough, breath of fresh air🎉
That's life, man. Nothing to do with wrong choices. Stuff just happens.
@@mitternachtsplausch9559 idk I can say happens once shame on you. Happens again shame on me.
Alot of them purposely chose the worst choice.
@kizmutyaba4965 we don't have free will so it's nit there fault
I agree. If only people consciously knew about all these truths...
Uploaded this on Valentine's day. He he he.
Happy Valentine's day everyone!!❤
Lol didn't even think of that. Good call. 😊
A crystal clear day at 60 degrees. Just walking the Dog. Peacefully contented. It is a matter of DANGER with todays Traumatically damaged personalities. A hard connection. In to HELL.
😂
I've been waiting for part 2 so much, I didn't see how obvious it was that it would be dropped today 🤣
& you as well
This two part Interview is, without a doubt, one of the best interview that I have ever watched in my life! So much wisdom... Thank you!
I feel the same way! Oh yes! Best interview and so much wisdom as you said it!
Absolutely life changing. I have never questioned so much about myself like I did in these 3-4 hours.
Agree 😂😂 It’s fucking gold
100%
Yes love is a sacrifice!! I sacrificed 28 years for love only to end up devastated and alone and feeling unloved😢 Great interview!!!
Today is our 28th anniversary going thru a vicious divorce
This interview stopped my tears today it really made me look at love in a totally different way
I commend your strength and hope your tears turn to smiles! :)
Anybody can come here and say their side with no problem knowing we won’t ask the other party for their side. The truth is it takes two. You may be the “victim” but you could be lying too.
@luismaldona but why lie??? No reason!!!
@@Melissao-lk1dr why lie it is the Internet everyone has access now to the Internet now if it was the year 2000 and the only the people who had money could access the Internet make it worse than yes, most people then worked telling the truth not now.
@@luismaldonado4989Well said man, people always seem to forget about that thumb of rule when hearing out on one side stories. Have to hear both sides of them and then you turly can hear where the flaws and faults lay on BOTH sides. How can anyone learn from experience even if your dealing with a narcissist? Obviously there were signs being ignored early on but didnt have the knowledge on how yo deal or avoid that type of situation. Always something to learn off others and most importantly yourself.
This was thee absolute most perfect thing for me to have watched this morning on Valentine’s Day. This was so eye opening to me for the situation I am currently in. He may have saved my relationship. His words have allowed me to see certain things in a different light. He is very knowledgeable.
OMG SAME!!!!!! ❤
Glad you caught this. Head on over to his channel and absorb the knowledge 👍
He lost me when he said he could get all of the same things without marriage. But one can't have a real family and an opportunity to do something with meaning. Women pursue men of means for stuff, status,,etc.. Men want lots of variable sexual opportunities. None of this actually creates meaningful lives for either, IMO.
@@markceci9896 This just shows your inability to listen.
What he said was that there is nothing in the PRESENT DAY that the civil institution of marriage (meaning the contract with the Government) provides to a man, that he can't get without it, at much much less risk.
This is pure truth.
And yes, a man can have a "real" family if he chooses to have children with a woman of principle, whether he signs his autonomy away to the government via civil marriage or not. Signing that particular civil contract changes 0 of his prospects, but incurres him a mountain of liabilities.
Please listen to what the man says before criticizing a strawman.
@@markceci9896•No that Toxic Women or Toxic Girls .Toxic Men .Listen to it again, please it’s not a financial transaction or something that should drain your brain and body and soul its vulnerability ,trust I listened to the sex podcast?I sincerely hope I have raised my nearly 15 Year Old Son to be better than view any woman as arm candy ?We can all walk the walk talk the talk and give a glossy CV with the important bits missing I am seriously not wanting or hunting anyone someone on a podcast told me I should not be on the “Market as a single Parent?”Why on earth he even jumped to the conclusion that I am on the Market ?Nobody actually likes canceling plans no man or no woman and certainly no child (No child is a financial bargaining chip ?)No woman is ether on a market or man !Hopefully sounds like some sort of market stall where people bid for a woman or man .Personally it’s 2.38 am !I shall be needing a black coffee a new body and brain to cope with this ?
This just might be the most informative article/book/video I have seen on men and women and how we are together. Very hopeful. Through better understanding of our natures we can make better life choices. Mr. Taraban is obviously very intelligent and well educated but he has a well developed use of voice and gesture to get across well formulated thoughts. Impressive display. Thank you.
Love is ultimately a duty towards other human beings, animals, etc. It is not a selfish entitlement the way it has come to mean in modern society which values sense gratification, comfort, and entertainment above all else.
such an astute observation of the social conditioning in so much cultural media and especially pervasive in the online "relationship advice" gurus space.
Yes, I think the guest speaker has based too many of his premises on the cultural norms of our contemporary society. Not everyone is playing by these rules.
Agreed
@@visicircle The exception does not make the rule. Maybe you are this exception and so am I, good for us. I still agree with 95% of what the guest is saying
I don't think of love as a 'duty'. I think of it as being freely given despite any potential adverse consequences.
His description of love reminds me if the love we have for our children and the process of letting them grow as they get older.
But as they get older we require them to do things. He said the highest form of love is not to require marriage or anything.
No he said it's to do what is best for them
Interesting. I had the EXACT same thought. ☺️
I agree his description of love in the first 10 min is beautiful and
I agree that it describes the love I have experienced for my children
@@canelareina3795she’s only partially correct. Love is giving of yourself but this comes in many forms compartmentalized to the person it’s offered to. There is a difference between the love of a partner, parent or aunt/uncle, grand parent or sibling. This type of love creates roles.
Because men are designed to spread their genes are women are very tough customers to get past, It’s is why the logic of fathers is so important. He must pass down the secrets of his success to his kids that the mother won’t understand because she didn’t experience it. This is how he loves his kids. He must do this alone with his son so his son competitively Carrie’s on the line. He teaches and sends them off into nature because his blood stretches through time through this form
Of his love.
I could listen to this man speak for years and never get tired of it ! Wow!!!!
"Love is an invitation to self transcendence." Completely agree.
You obviously understood that sentence.
Could you please explain it like you would explain to a child?
I'm Norwegian and struggling with some language barriers.
@@leneo1731keep in mind it might not be a language barrier, what he's saying is nonsense. Might just not make any sense to people who aren't a product of America...
@@leneo1731 Yes. I can explain my interpretation of this sentence. To truly love someone, you must be vulnerable and, therefore, risk being hurt. It is truly a risk to love someone but it's also where true change occurs. Everything else is simply transactional. If you opt for a transactional relationship, that's fine. But you also give up the possibly of truly loving someone. Many opt for the transactional relationship because there's less risk. But in going for the safer bet, they also give up the opportunity for transcendence. Keep your heart open but also be wise to whom you give your love to. All the best to you!
True love is the highest vibration here on earth. We should all give and receive unconditional love but, unfortunately, that doesn't happen for a variety of reasons and a lot of pain and suffering has occurred because of people's selfishness.
@@thepragmatisthe didn’t mean spiritual transcendence, but if you’re spiritual or religious you could interpret it that way. It just means growing beyond the position of the self-a state of emotional vulnerability where you seek to take care of others.
Listening to the Doc reference all of these books throughout the interview, reiterates why it's so necessary to read.
Can you list the books?
This guy is a truly epic combination of eloquence, insight and lucidity I have yet to hear any equal to in 63 years on this earth.
I unapologetically effortlessly work to make my husband's life easier. He works full-time and provides for his family without ever complaining, he is the best father to our children and an amazing husband. I am proud to say he hasn't done a load of laundry in 28 years! I am grateful for our babies! We were teenage parents and he stayed and loved me and showed up in every way!
💯! That’s so beautiful!
Very happy for you both. So rare today
Meanwhile that woman had it all for free but didn't want to help with half the laundry. She's probably wondering where all the good men are.
that is so beautiful I'm so happy you and your husband are fulfilled in each other, and your children have a healthy perception of what a loving couple looks like.
But are you being the sluttiest freakiest version of yourself in bed! Don't forget that part too.
As I immerse myself in his captivating discourse on love, my mind inevitably gravitates towards the most profound embodiment of this emotion in my life: my children. Their laughter, their innocence, their unwavering affection-they are the living testament to the boundless depths of love. Every word he utters resonates with the echoes of their voices, reminding me that love, in its purest essence, is not merely a concept to be understood but a tangible presence to be cherished and nurtured.
35:18 How does this quote make you think of your children?
@@madderlakevideoproductions4560because unconditional love for women more than likely will go to children. The man can be loved (to a degree) once he lives up to his burden of performance. These are things they don’t teach young men. The burden of man is that you will never be as loved as women or children unless you gain some level of status.
Let me sum up your bombastic pseudo-poetry there: you are a woman, thus capable of maternal instinct and you put a bunch of flowery talk around that point. Nothing you said transcended yourself as a woman or person, it was not profound and has been here since the dawn of time
@@stagebloq6002 Unconditional love is for children, not adults.
@@dreamdiction the tier for conditions in love goes as follows: Children> Women > Men.
We have the least conditions for love with children, but there might be some conditions involving a troublesome heart or threat to family.
Men will be loved on a level of status, relationship or otherwise. The love he gathers goes hand-in-hand with his ability to be respected.
Similarly to how women can gather affinity to children, women can gather the same from men (just sexually). If the man proves himself useful, then by conceding to using his gifts and wanting him to remain around will she reciprocate.
"Some women can be attractive in their forties and beyond but that is not the norm." Brutal.
But it’s true- I’m 42- I’m pretty much non existent even to my husband - sad - and no I’m not over weight
@@shaylaster1607Hi love! Being older doesn’t make a woman undesirable. Are you fun? Do you make time for yourself? Are you unpredictable? Do you wear your hair and clothes the way that makes you feel most sexy? Do you have passions and hobbies that bring you joy? A lot of women get stuck in mom mode and lose who they are at their core. I promise you if you tap in with your authentic self and pursue your passion, and learn the art of mystery, your husband will be worshipping the ground you walk on. It’s your love of self and zest for life that brings the boys to the yard babes. Get your own personal sexy back ☺️
@@KeyaCareshow stupid are you?
@@KeyaCaresunless her husband is a narcissist.
@@shaylaster1607 maybe if you put on weight he would see you
The episodes with people that have it together are FAR more valuable to me than the train wrecks. They give hope. Thank you!
I agree. Seeing the train wrecks is like going to the freak show at a carnival or watching daytime reality TV. Personally, I don't have nuch time for the dumb and dumber subjects anymore.
I'm not that convinced, that ppl, "who have it together" are not the "real train wrecks". They might only a little bit better in covering it... 😂 Also: this psychologist guy doesn't leave a good gut feeling with me - I would even go so far to have a kind of uneasy feeling towards him. As oposed for example, when I watch Rebecca. She can be a little exhausting at times in following all her thoughts, but I NEVER had any kind of uneasy gut feeling towards her, although she can be completely over the top.
100%
@@Mira20153 He tends to shatter a core myth within our society. That gut feeling is on you.
@@NickMart1985 No. He gives me psychopath's vibes.
I’m so glad you gave him time to talk on this channel. I spent all day yesterday listening to his channel and learned a lot of great stuff. Thanks, guys.
I’m a 40-something woman (scorned & optimistic) and this discussion is therapeutic for me down to the way he chooses (or simply expresses) his words judiciously and explains the thought process. He also has a great sense of humour!
Yes, I think he’s a King at this moment
“High hopes and low expectations” a common saying in a different context that also riddled me
I follow Orion's channel and admire his work, but I think that some of his insights are more developed and profound than others. I hope he keeps an open mind and keeps learning. I'll be interested to see how his ideas evolve over time.
Same here, Jeff. I've been listening to Dr. Taraban's daily short talks on his PsycHacks channel for 2+ years now, all the way back to when he had just a handful of followers. He clearly delights in his contrarian views, which are always well reasoned, crisply explained with witty analogies, and masterfully presented (by the ex-thespian that he is).
Be interesting where this space goes in say 5 years as there’s only so
Much to talk about..?
@brianmeen2158 as long as there are people to interact with, there will always be relationships and relationship problems.
Perhaps the majority of us will interact with obsequious AI friends and partners. But until then...
@@larryrobx 1:04:32
This whole thing reads like an autists trying to put a finger on love and horribly missing the mark. Only going to destroy relationships GG
I wish to add, as a single woman who is on dating Apps a lot, when a man compliments me about my appearance, I will always thank him. That would be my first reply. I get a lot of compliments. I am 59 years old. I often go out with men 10 years younger than me. While I don’t particularly seek a relationship with a much younger man neither will I close myself off to going out with a younger man. And you never know…Everything Orion talks about makes perfect sense to me. I appreciate his insights and perspective so much. His definition of love is beautiful and true . I listened to this interview twice.
It's always the older women like you who can admit the truth.
Women like attention, validation, and sex. A lot.
That's the truth.
I don't know what's going on with the new kids nowadays.
@GrubKiller436 My theory is the young women are surrrounded by all those means of attention and validation and like Orion said, that is their “sex” when metaphored to men. So their needs, along with the financial support needs from family and government lead them “astray” (read: their future self astray) to when they become depressed because they are aged with no one to love or be loved by
I am an older woman 76. I have no difficulty attracting men in my age group...I kept fit and look attractive. But more importantly I am interesting to men Im a retired professor of clinical psychology. I was alone for as long as I needed to mourn my mate of 41 years dying...now I have another lovely man in my life. Age is not a barrier unless we let it be.
@@latinaalma1947 Hate to break it to ya but you’re 76 - there’s no clock for you to have kids or put on the weight that you already have on. Age is absolutely a barrier - total survivorship bias and social relative social irrelvance in life stage.
@@calbar8793 I am with a multimillionaire...he is my age. He worked hard to meet me...researched who my friends were and asked a mutual male friend to set up an introduction at a group dinner...He chased me, I didnt chase him. Everywhere I went, there he was and making a beeline to sit with me to talk in the "getting to know me phase".Several other men I had dates with I decided werent the right personality or intelligence level for me. I wasnt asking THEM out. These are men my age . Not sure why you think this is impossible but I have zero reason to lie. Men my age usually have had and raised their kids long ago, just as I did my two. Not alot of guys in their 70s WANT more children...they dont want babies! They want a fit attractive intelligent caring woman around their age. I still have guys my age who KNOW I am with this man as a partner now asking me out, one just 2 days ago. No thanks...this other man seems like a nice guy but this man I have is a keeper, no need to keep looking. Life can be fun at any age...alot depends on your health and attitude. No one wants to be around disagreeable people of any age. And many mature men are not interested in a relationship with 20 somethings...If men werent attracted to me why would they be asking me out? Im 5ft 4in and weigh 118 lbs...not every woman has a weight problem and not every 76yo woman is ugly and haggard to men HER age!
it's cool how mark was giddy about this video during the end, you can tell he really enjoyed it just as much as us the audience views it
He's fascinating to look at and listen to, very thoughtful and well spoken. I like him, and check out his channel .....
10 minutes in, and this man knows what's up. Part 1, too. Thank you!❤❤ my husband and children are going through cancer treatment with my husband. Thats love
Really,? Are you going to teach your daughters and grandaughters to secure commitment the way he advised in part one?
@@canelareina3795 give me your answer. You seem hot under the collar. I can handle the steam. Let's hear it
@@canelareina3795There are a lot of unspoken rules in the world. "Take care of your man" is the best way to voice this.
You left yourself out, you're going through it also.
You and your husband obviously raised a good family.
What you invested you now get back.
I wish you all the best and hope your husband gets well.
@@leneo1731 thank you❤️
Nothing ever made more sense to me.
Mark, please don’t say things like, “That’s what most people want.” If that’s your opinion, then say, “I think…” before statements like that. You are not the expert.
@@angeladeprairie Angela, please don't say things like, "You are not the expert." If that's your opinion, then say, "I think..." before statements like that. You are a hypocrite.
@@enemy1134very well played hahah
@@angeladeprairie Its implied. You see, men dont take 500 words to say what they can in 20. Like most women 😉
Orion has played a part in my improvement journey for the past 2 years . My mind is immortal now .
My favorite interview on this channel! I think we can all benefit greatly from this man’s perspective and advice:) bring him back!
Best three hours I've spent in a long time. Thank You Gentlemen
3 hours?
This is a real eye opener.
This has taken the blinkers right off.
In a way frightening but chock full of wisdom.
Brilliant
Welcome to the red pill
Blinders, not blinkers
This is one man's OPINION
Took the words right out of my mouth. I'm still stuck on what I heard in Pt.1
Wow! This two part series is informative, persuasive, and engaging. Orion’s brilliant insights could fill an entire galaxy!
Im with you on that. Probably one of my favorite guests so far. I love listening to smart people.
This is absolutely fascinating -- have shared this series with several friends and it has spurred some of the most incredible conversations. Thank you for delivering this content!
What an interview! This and the one with James Sexton are so incredibly insightful.
I couldn’t agree more!
Yes,these two see the truth whether people like it or not
Life changing content. I'm learning so much from both of those gentlemen.
This info is tough for a lot of people. Some of the comments read like hit dogs hollering.
Happy Valentine's Day folks!
I wish those that agree would argue why he is right, instead of pretending that those that disagree are triggered and in denile.of the truth.
Mahbe you wish women would sling their goodies on you ASAP, but do you want your little sister and daughters to give it up fast and free?
A great way to end up run-through and emotionally damaged, no?
@@canelareina3795 nowhere in this interview did he suggest women should give it up fast and free. do you think men should buy women cars, gifts and give tons of affection fast and free? i think you missed the point.
@@canelareina3795 you're too retarded to have an opinion on things you don't understand
@@alndi3In pt. 1 he did so 🤷🏾♀️
@@canelareina3795 You argue in such bad faith, it's not even funny. Thanks @alndi3 to summarize the obvious for you.
Amazing talks (watched both parts). My favs as well. Learned so much.
Yes please, Mark, make Orion a regular ♥️🙏🏻
I am somewhat surprised to see so many women agreeing with what he's saying. My initial thoughts were that a lot of gals would accuse him of being sexist, or maybe I just have a lot of feminist friends lol.
@@dmonvisigoth1651I understand what you mean. I guess when someone speaks the truth, it feels liberating no matter what gender we are :)
These two recordings are both cutting and incredibly insightful, and it sort of reinforces some conclusions I've made in the past.... We're a totally broken species, and this modern digital world we're living in is not only making it worse, it's making it impossible to recover from.
Very well stated
Awn mamma 🙏 blame the breeders 😂
How this guy describes sex is concerning cause he’s literally describing porn. I have a feeling this guy was brought up in purity culture, has dealt with years of shame around sex and has now talked to enough dysfunctional people that he’s convinced himself “this is love”.
It’s just mind boggling to have such a vivid description of love and then be like: “that’s hopeless and no one actually wants that so don’t be sacrificial with those you care about…just care about you”.
I haven’t heard him talk once about men becoming more comfortable sharing emotions, becoming more emotionally intelligent, etc. Just “the sexual marketplace.” There’s no solutions, which is the key sign of a grifter; if they gave you the solution, you wouldn’t need them anymore.
Yes, nothing about how men are behind in the emotional departement, very typical of a patriarchal point of view.
@@thematriarchy2075exactly! It’s just patriarchy at work! Not everyone will be the king and so this content is just meant to keep men sad and coming back for more of his courses and “advice”
He has many regarding how to be in tune with one's own emotions, as well as their partners', and how to navigate them.
Searching for "emotion" on his channel, the top 2 videos are: "Emotions are NEVER IRRATIONAL: feelings are not always justified" and "Emotions are living things: How to understand your feelings better"
Seems fairly encouraging towards emotional intelligence...
Sometimes there is no solution. If 1/3 young men aren't having sex, it's not because they aren't "emotionally intelligent," it's because they aren't presenting themselves attractively. Because I'm sure we all know emotionally stunted men who can sleep around as they please, so clearly that's not the definitive factor in engaging with women sexually.
@@thematriarchy2075amen. Particularly when he says if women were comfortable in finding joy in service, then they can get what they want. This works, but it works with manipulative women who are successful only when they are young and attractive, and emotionally retarded men.
Why is everybody always going on about men needing to be more emotional or share their emotions? I wanna ride motorcycles, build cars, make money, shoot guns, and f%*k. I don't get any enjoyment, fulfilment, or benefit from sharing emotions. Plus, if the emotion I'm feeling is "My d*^k isnt getting sucked enough," women aren't usually too thrilled about that emotion being shared.
Also, anger is a perfectly valid emotion, but for some reason it's seen as a negative and we get a negative response when we share that emotion.
Totally amazing! So much insight and wisdom. I loved the way he talks so eloquently not a single boring minute . Bring him back please !
When we are just born we seek out the warmth of our mother and without our primary caregiver to give food, love, and shelter, we would not survive. This relationship is absolutely necessary for our ability to develop empathy and to more importantly, individuate from the mother. This is built in. As adults, if we have veered toward solitude, then question that. Something has interrupted what is natural.
There is another aspect that has to occur for the male child. Children become aware of being male or female at about two years old. At that point the male child must cross over from his mother to the male side. This is usually seen in young boys as they initially reject everything they perceive as of a female nature. This is one more reason why sons need the father in the home. With too much female influence or not enough male role model, this transition may not happen, which is a primary reason for male homosexuality.
@@marktapley7571yes exactly. It's imperative to have both male and female role models. That's why people should try their best to avoid resulting in single parent households. Normalise abortion if it is obvious the relationship is rocky and would not survive
Haven't seen the first interview yet but am hungering to go watch it! Orion seems extremely intelligent and insightful! This interview was simply amazing!
The issues that my boyfriend and I go through have all been touched on with the first two of Orions interviews. I want to thank the two of you together for shedding light on what I did not understand until now
Some of the most profound knowledge about these subjects that I have ever heard. I love the @psychacks channel. It’s time to stop with the idealistic nonsense of today’s views on what it means to be man / woman & embrace the harsh realities of what it really means to be a man or woman. If you can wrap your mind around these truths, instead of drinking from the Hollywood swamp, then whether your a man or women, you shall be so much better off.
Just pure hard hitting, truth. This is the content I signed up for.
Part 2 puts a better taste in my mouth than part 1. Got some gems and laughs from both. I mean, some parts of what he said were like, damn… really, but I’m open to listen and glean what resonates and put the other information in my back pocket as one of the many slices of reality but not necessarily one I desire to emulate. All in all great video!
And the medicine you need is usually quite bitter. Go back and listen to part one till you absorbs the info and accept reality
💯
@@ssing7113true..
The timeline is something most people especially women dont understand
Lets say we have a woman at 27 and a man at 29 meet
-statistically dating for 2-3 years is best before engagement women is now 29 man is now 31
- 1 year of engagement and wedding planning woman is now 30 man is now 32
- 1 year of marriage before a child woman is now 31 man is now 33
- First child (pregnant 9 months of course) woman is now 32 man is now 34
- every Clinician will say you should wait atleast 18 months inbetween births
- woman is now pregnant at 34 and the man is 36
- The woman gives birth at 35 the man is now 37
this is how you arrive at child birth rate of under 2.1 because the woman is now 35 and a doctor will not tell her to try again till she is 36-37 (18 months). This is the successful, well planned, married couple who only had 2 kids.
now imagine a couple wanted 5 kids... when would they have had to start? 22-24, think about before modern medicine making conception past 35 a real possibility for the childs birth OR the mothers survival at birth.
now remember replacement rate is 2.1 it is the minimum requirement which means for every 9 couples who has 2 kids the 10th couple must have 3 to keep that national average at the minimum, and that also means the 21 kids born from those 10 couples cannot have a birth defect that prevents having kids themselves, cannot die in there toddler years, teens, twenties, thirties or fourties and cannot choose not to have kids themselves, everything would have to be on the knifes edge for the population not to slip into complete decline.
Agreed
I enjoyed both parts. Definitely opens up your mind from another perspective, and that’s why I watch this channel.
Exactly! I stumbled across this channel months ago and it’s had me in a chokehold ever since!
ditto
At minute 45, he has just made an analogy of man-woman relaxationship: his analogy is the man is the patron at an elegant restaurant, the woman is the server who should go out of her way to deliver his glass of water with excellence. He says if a woman adopts this attitude, it will help her get what she wants. I was in a 40 year marriage where I brought the morning coffee to my husband while he was shaving, did his laundry etc etc. because of the un-equal power relationship in our marriage ( he disagreed with my desire to return to work after our kids were getting older) it didn’t matter how many thousands of cups of perfect coffee I’d brought him, he still wanted everything his way, to control everything. I would advise women to maintain their earning power and to look for a partner who is willing to share the chores.
This man gives advice for toxic relationships. It's dangerous.
Modern women like to have their cake and eat it too. Orion is exposing their predatory nature
Agree
Nice restaurants often have to deal with rude or demanding patrons. Sometimes they need to be asked to leave and not come back. Or ideally not be seated in the first place
A controlling person is going to attempt to control, regardless of whether they make all the income or it's shared.
You can't handle the truth.
I’ve watched both parts twice!! So much wisdom and insight.
I think so too😊
I’ve watched many of Orion’s vids, but this two part series is his BEST yet and likewise for you, Mark. Well done to both of you
He has a very valid point at the end. I've dated many women who had nothing but "toxic and abusive ex's" in their dating history along with an impenetrable victim mentality. When I was younger I used to say to myself "awww these poor unfortunate women". When I got a little bit older I would say "are all of her ex's really toxic or is it her?". And now I say "why the hell was I attracted to these types of women in the first place?".
Her exes may or may not be toxic. But the problem is that she chose them.
We want to save people from broken families. But they're not savable.
Is the male a predator by nature or is it her? That was essentially your question. What do you think happens to a person who has been repeatedly abused? Happy.and if she isn't she is the problem?
@@GrubKiller436no you don't want to save women, men just want to use women and then distance themselves from the responsibilities of their actions. This is why we have a video of a man telling women to keep choosing men and go at it again.
@@dearbrave4183 What you are saying does not make sense.
It's always a two-way street. The ex's may be toxic or not but it's her choice also, which means that maybe she wasn't really toxic to begin with but gradually, due to bad choices, has become toxic like her ex's. In any case, stay away from women like that, they deserve little pity, and same goes for men of similar ilk. Some people will look in the mirror and make the necessary hard changes and some will not. I think in my experience, most do not as they are too immature and weak to be critical of themselves. It's much easier to be a victim. In fact, stay away from any person that is of this type, unless they show you clearly that they deserve your respect and time. You do not have to publicly mock them, but internally, you do not need to respect them or give them any of your time. Move on and find people worth the effort.
His explanation of love was the best explanation i've ever heard. I totally agree.
Getting married is incredibly expensive and getting divorced costs even more.
No mention of granola or blow jobs in this one though.
“Marriage is grand and divorce is a hundred grand.” said a prominent divorce lawyer.
Nowadays you have to assess the risks of getting into a relationship let alone marriage
Don't forget kids and child support. The same lawmakers, who get richer off the failed Am Dreams, allow for people to become poorer and poorer
Fucking facts.
Either you're ready to hear the message or you are not
Thanks to you both!
Yep. This is how people skip red pill and faceplant into black pill. Some would be better off being ignorant forever. However those who do figure out uncomfortable truths need to remember it is what it is but all that matters is what you choose to do with the information. Spiral into hatred or use it as a navigation tool.
Word!
Your definition of love brought a tear to my eyes. Thank you. Having five sons and realising what I have given up for them.
I think there were golden nuggets to take away but I think he is speaking from a very AMERICAN lived experience.
Yes we ARE very limited by our culture...I have lived in a foreign cou trybfor 20 years I find similarities with America of course😊but VALUES have different priorities in the Latin American country I live in. Frankly I dont WANT it to become more Americanized but it is happening in practcial ways very quickly...more people drive, there is more and more consumerism, the average birth rate is down from 12 to 5 and falling fast which makes people more prosperous but many emigrate to thenUSA to earn money and send it home...a large umber retire back here and built enorpus homes with their savings...something is lost and something is gained...they have to spend decades away from their families and culture and many miss it so return later.
Men are men everywhere. And women are women everywhere.
Go ask the passport bros or look at studies from evolutionary psychologists… people are people no matter they live in the jungle or the penthouse in NY. We’re all the same
Dropped on Valentine’s Day
Orion’s interviews on love are fascinating, eerily relatable, and a fearless bite into the core of our social underpinnings. I appreciate Orion’s unapologetic sketch that reveals gems of interesting truths, but as with any general brushstroke there’s lots of complexities that are left colorless.
Brilliant! Thanks so much for having Orion the Philosopher back on. He has colorful views of the patchwork we call "love".
The advice given about men not having expectations with a woman past the current moment in time is priceless. 👍🏻
Recently I have been dating a new man. I myself am a full-time caregiver to my handicapped child from her birth. I was shocked to hear him say, love is a sacrifice. I rarely meet a Man, whom understands that love is a sacrifice and he completely respects me for caring for my daughter, for the past 22 years. I meet few men that understand what love is actually. The fact he finds my work, as a caregiver admirable and respects it, it speaks volumes for him and his understanding of what love is.
If love is sacrificial, that means it has to be sacrificial for YOU TOO.
And since you're devoting all of your "sacrificial love" for your child (And understandably so. Your child clearly has needs), there's really not much left over for a man.
Unfortunately you CAN'T have it all. You CAN'T devote your entire life to your child AND ALSO expect a man to just sacrifice sacrifice sacrifice sacrifice with little to nothing reciprocated.
Maybe you've found a man who is willing to. Good for you. If he's really a good man, then he deserves more than table scraps. And if that's all you can "sacrifice" for HIM, even HE will grow tired of being neglected sooner or later.
@todds.6028 fortunately he's a pilot and travels a lot, which works perfectly for both of us. Both of us are extremely independent, and cherish our independence. So it works perfectly for us!
Being a young man, this opened my mind a lot
Thats what is so great about being young these days, we do not have to make the same mistake our parents generation made because we have channels like this.
Do not make the mistake of thinking facts with no context are expressions of knowledge.
Orion made me laugh more then many a comedian of recent times. Can say I was waiting for pt.2 with great anticipation
As a 66 yr old woman I find I have the same issues as younger women in that in order to have options I am much more willing to do things as acts of service to a gentleman to have my needs met. What my needs are now are those you mentioned at 1 hour 30 minutes, attention, affection, intimacy, companionship, adventure, and masculine energy. I will gladly exchange a night of passion!!!
Men don't need those things to such a degree. I think women need to learn how to focus on themselves and learn how to be self-sufficient.
But I am glad you are honest. A lot of people here aren't honest.
I'm in recovery back in almost 4yrs. This podcast is good. Thanks 😊
lol that’s random thing to say . Why make your life revolve around your past.
Not only that but why do people who once struggled with addiction want everyone to clap for them and pat them on their backs for not fn up their lives. That’s wild. Welcome to the rest of the world where people take care of their shit. Congrats
If there is no sexual attraction… There is no romantic relationship.
Yep, for both sexes!
Might want to listen to some very romantic seniors or ppl whose genitals or libido are no longer functional, yet they have a profoundly romantic connection.
@@tonyhoffman3309platonic, not romantic
@@tonyhoffman3309 those long-term connections only exist based on the initial sexual attraction. If they weren’t attracted to each other in the beginning, then the statement you just made wouldn’t be relevant.
There isn't anybody in or starting relationships where sexual attraction is the only reason?
Are you saying all arranged marriages are based on sexual attraction?
I've watched this video 3 times in the past 7 days, THANKS Mark for letting this kind of information in your channel :) it bring SO much utility and further depth to this space.
I'm watching it for the 4th time and sharing with my friends.
@@donnag3478 think I'll do the same. He's right on point... I like the truth.
The harder it is to hear, the more truth is behind the message.
Facts 💯
Boom.
I'm a adult. I don't get "triggered" because someone said something i find repugnant. The word you want is "grossed out." Then again, i suppose a jaded view of people using each other like this is a sign of the times. Hustle, grind set, 24 7 work, what have you done for me lately. Ewww. This is the age of the sociopath.
More like age of the narcissist.
I have been living in latin america for 3 years. I have come to see how nearly all my dating and even friendships in the US were based on selfishness. Dating in the US is like going on a job interview.
No he’s just saying the quiet part out loud and it makes you uncomfortable.
Relationships are transactional. Thats the truth.
Most people are users. This has been my experience. Better to be educated and informed than blind.
This guy is great. Finally someone who could break it down into the simplest terms.
The main issue left out of this conversation is the deterioration of attachment relationships with children in the setting of the easy break up relationships of the present and the problems in personality formation for kids.
I been with the same person for 20 years .. the balance of the adored can change over time
Exactly! In healthy relationships, both parties are both the adored and the adorer, and practice both.
he's a failure and doesn't understand the first thing about a relationship (because he can't do one). Thinking there's such a thing as simple imbalance in relationships is a great way to put a landmine under it. What an (opposite of intelligence).
You cannot do accounting in a relationship, unless all there is to it is trading (which to be fair is exactly the nonsense he spews later), in which case you're in a weird prostitute situation not a relationship.
Agreed.
I watched part 1 & honestly, thankfully his views simply do not match my life and marriage.. 20 years and nothing this guy says reflects our experience. Scary actually.. the way he explains his perspectives. I'd stay single.
@@Silvermoonscorpion If you've been married for 20 years, that is before facebook(social media) came out. Young women's emotional stimulation needs have increased a lot since then.
@@Silvermoonscorpion scrolling through comments and wondering where to leave mine... landed here.
He probably rubs people up the wrong way because he puts his opinions forwards as truth. I'm sure there is a ton of truth for some people in this interview, but thankfully, I just feel as though I live in a different world to him and all the people that see so much sense in what he says. It's fascinating, but ultimately, I can pick a lot of it apart, and just like you, I thank my lucky stars that my experiences and relationships are so different to those that he describes!
Didn't realize I walked into a sermon this morning. Preach!!! (He'd make a great pastor.)
Its exactly what I thought, no wonder he quotes so much from theologians!
After listening to both his interviews, all I can say is THANK GOD I grew up in Europe (more on the unconventional and untraditional side), travelled globally for work a lot in my 20s and never dreamed about a wedding, kids or strategized of how a man could take care of me. The mental gymnastics involved to follow the traditional route (according to him and I don't think he is wrong) sounds like wayyy too much work :-) For better or worse, given how we evolved as a society and the impact on the change in gender roles in relationships, it has come to that.
You wouldn’t have to do much as a woman 😂😂
@@K-EKG Haha 😂
Indeed. The beginning of the end.
Glad you weren't born here either.
Many who undertake the "traditional" man + woman monogamous model, live in europe, and do not enter relationship with this guests perspective.
Sexual relationships are transactional. That's why, as we have moved away from marriage and commitment, life and relationships have become so unsatisfying.
Sexual relationships are not 1 thing, so instead of being knocked up with 15 children, and hardly having had an orgasm given by a man, we can now have the freedom to pick who we like in our bed without having to commit to anything but pleasure and pleasure is love. 💃🏻
No, in fact relationships have a higher chance to be satisfying now, although not guaranteed. Marriage and commitment never guaranteed satisfactions for everyone. Only legal stability.
Most marriages have never been based on similarly yoked matches and fulfillment, so in time they became devitalized even if they stayed intact. People were simply required to adapt because divorce was not an option. This is control, not love.
Today the defective ones end in divorce, as it should be.
Marriage is a highly controlling, limiting institution, which is erroneously confused with pair-bonding. Hardly the same thing.
Pair-bonding, on the other hand is what the focus should be on - marriage or not. In fact, pair-bonding without contract is even better because it stands on its own.
@roses6564 Sounds nice but your theory is incorrect. Statistically, unmarried couples break up at higher rates than married couples.
What an incredible interview (both parts). Definitely need to bring him back.
Love is like a beautiful, snow top mountain, from a distance it looks beautiful but climbing it is a very very different thing.
I could listen to this guy all day.
I cleaned my entire house listening to this guy.
You mind sharing any takeaways?
Not sure he wants that. He has a three part series for women to lock down any guy. You need 20 min and to take notes. He gives you the key to successful relationships that quick
The articulation of love in this video is unrivaled and excellent.
What I love most about Dr. Taraban is his understanding of how to strategically place vulgar words for effect. His juxtaposition of high-level, intellectual discussion with crassness drives home his point like a pneumatic hammer.
Haha yes
Agree hahaha... for a very realistic hot truth on men and women. Literally! 😂🎉
I dont think I've seen anyone use the word fuck with such powerful effect. The man is a brilliant communicator.
Thank you for bringing him to a second interview. Perfect timing for me.
People’s actions speak much louder than anything clever they have to say. Keep that in mind as you sit spellbound by a fellow you know nothing about.
and what do you do, huh?
On that hatorade.
@@imminentminddo you think because someone has a license or title makes them perfect? Doctors, psychologists, priests, teachers and other positions of trust take advantage or abuse people every day! I am very curious about his background as well. So many people put complete trust in someone because of their title and all you have to do is watch the news to see that people have different motivations for choosing career paths!
What are these actions that you speak of?
Dr. Orion Taraban is a clear-thinking, well-spoken guy.
This was an excellent interview.
If I had watched this 5 years ago I would've thought this was bs. Having gone through what I have gone through, I GET IT. Life is way more "dry and sober" than what WE make of it.
A lot of truth and wisdom in his videos. Thank you! Part 3 please?
I really enjoyed listening to his theories, they make a lot of sense.
Wife material 😊
I don't know what' women is being talked about here, but morevand more women over 40 are economically independant.
They don't need an older man with money.
More and more women are finally becoming honest with themselves and he rest of the world and dare to show that they also are attracted to younger men.
A woman in a relationship with a younger man used to be totally unacceptable and is still being looked at as abnormal but it's going in the right directons.
So many beautiful women in their 40s, 50s and 60s who take care of themselves and look great, how on earth could they find someone like Prince Albert of Monaco or Prince Andrew attractive when they can get Prince Harry or Harry Styles?
This man is wrong.
Unless he's talking about women who's only goal is money.
Well said
You're wrong. Older women who date significantly younger men rarely, if ever, date successful younger men. The younger men they date are of low to mediocre status. Those men are in it for the easy access to s*x.
Men who are succesful date younger, prettier women. Younger women are better looking than older women, and a sign of success. Younger, prettier women are the trophy for a man when he reaches success. Those younger men who date older women do it because its more of a fetish. Please believe me, if a man could afford a younger, prettier woman instead of an older one he would dropkick the older one in a heartbeat.
I totally agree with you!
For this insights he is perhaps too young. He is a millennial, born 1980.
@@beatewagner7.2934 if he's 44 he without doubt should know this and also have met these women who are his age and are older.
I would be surprised if he hasn't been hit up by any of these women.
But it seems to me like he's only talking about women under 30 because they're probably his targeted age group.
Like most successful men, he probably want young.
@@beatewagner7.2934 I love your name, my sister's name is also Beate. It's not a very typical American name, is it?
What's the story behind it?
Unless you are a mature adult with life experience, it’s hard to realize just how accurate this interview is. Spot on.
Orion is the real deal, realistic straight to the point useful considerations.
This man is laying it on THICK. Getting a lot of people in their feelings lol. Great interview. The real shit. That’s the best. Even if the truth isn’t very comforting. That’s the real shit you need to take into consideration. Got a follow from me 🤙🏼
This guy is correct about marriage being transactional … when my ex husband told me he didn’t believe in unconditional love, I knew we would not last. And we didn’t.
"Bad things don't always look like bad things." is a great disclaimer. I can see why this guy is... intriguing to a "King" like Mark.
bad things is what grabs most people’s attention nowadays
Seems like that ..
Like having Chris D’Elia on recently, it seems he’s opened himself up to grifters and celebrities who need an image rebranding. I get that it makes for good views, but these guys don’t need more coverage
This is true! I can’t say I was ever truly in love before I had my daughter. And she may be the only person I actually love. And that’s ok…
And maybe that is attachment as well.
There are some truth about having kids that people will be so triggered because that is also romanticize.
@@alejandramarquez6804 oh I’m sure it is. People think it’s going be like it is on social media. It’s so not!!
I read through many comments on this video, and yours appears to me as the only comment that describes love accurately. Love is selfless, unconditional, and self-sacrificing. Love is a strong word, and not to be taken lightly 👍
He’s spot on about divorce. My cheating ex-wife got a huge payday and took six figures that she didn’t help build. I was working 50-60h work weeks building our wealth and future while she was at the beach with our son or spending her summers with her family while I worked. Marriage was definitely her winning the lottery and elevating her living standards. I should’ve stuck to my guns on the prenup but I caved when she cried and said I didn’t believe we’d make it. Turns out I was right. We didn’t make it because she started cheated on me with her HS boyfriend. 🤦🏻♂️
Love is bravery....to choose that one person knowing that one day it might end...but you somehow to do it anyway.
“But no one actually wants that” -Orion🤦🏻♂️
Bloody genius. Everyone needs to hear these two talks.