"Ok we're running out of ideas how to get this literal fucking dinosaur in the cage. What do we do?" *literally tries to lure him in with a live goat like he's the T-Rex in Jurassic Park*
give crocs their proper credit, they're nearly as old as dinos, if not older depending on how loose you want to be with dividing "early-basically-crocs-but-not-really-crocs" from "real crocs"
I love how that minister predicted a civil war like a political weatherman, 'oh you know Patrice, I think in a couple of months there may be hundreds of people dead for stupid reasons, but you know how it is in the ethnic cleansing season Africa.'
“Predicted a civil war” It wasn’t a prediction. The civil war was already going on at the time. It had not ended, there was just a ceasefire between the Rwandan government and the RPF and plans to end the war with the signing of peace and demobilization deals in Arusha, but tension was still extremely high and private extremist militias were known openly to be preparing for something by holding training sessions and weapons caches across the capital Kigali. Everyone knew what was going to happen. The head of the UN mission in Rwanda general Dallaire wrote to NYC urging authority to seize weapons caches planted in Kigali in the event the accords fell through and was rebuked by his superiors thousands of miles away. It wasn’t a “oops that’s Africa for you!” Moment it was a “nothing has changed because no one has seriously attempted to change it so what do you expect?” Type situation Dallaire wrote a memoire on the genocide that you can read if you want a better portrait of what happened than the one that has been parroted over and over by people who don’t know what they are talking about
Funny enough, when the female team member spotted Gustave, both from the air and on foot, she said he was so big, at first, she thought he was a sandbank in the river.
I mean, throw a bunch of grenades into that big mouth of his, or use some armor pen rounds, pretty sure he'll die in one way or another. But with old weapons.. Yeah, he'd need hundreds of skilled hunters to take down, most likely, and he needs to be on solid ground without being too close to a watersource.. Or they could build a dam and get him out that way with old tech, but... Idk..
That could make a good season 3 anime. Gustave may have started out as the villain. But he learned the value of honor, friendship and good honest labor. Season 4 will be about how the newly weds have to overcome prejucides against bestiality.
Steve was alive when they were trying to capture Gustave, but he probably wouldn't be able to catch him because he would've had to fly to Burundi during an ongoing conflict. Edit: I removed a bit where I thought Steve didn't have experience with crocodiles. I am truly sorry for disrespecting his legacy.
@@duncanwade1026 Steve had a considerable amount of experience capturing Australia’s two native species of crocodile: the saltwater and freshwater crocodile.
"So what's Gustav having for dinner today?" "A leopard" "Wait... How did he catch it?" "Well, the army was having an exercise near the lake and Gustav was in the mood for canned food"
An average drunk in Glasgow would have enough drugs in their system that he’d die instantly. Honestly if we could lure him here then maybe we’ve got a plan.
he literally is gustave remains to this day still alive and uncatchable by authories it seems like his children are starting to imitate there papa too as the authorities killed one in 2018 thinking it was gustav only for it to turn out to be one of his kids a 18 foot croc
Other crocodiles: I know your diabolical plan gustave Gustave: I wouldn't even know how to begin a dia- Other crocodiles:*pulls out what is left of a hippo and half a human*
"Now follow my moves, and SNEAK around! Be careful not to make a sound!" Given that he's had barely if any sightings for years he's taken those words to heart lol.
@@DSToNe19and83 Considering they appeared to have only managed the one attempt... I'd assume not. Last ditch hail mary before thousands of pounds per square inch crumpled their torso.
I was thinking about that. Somewhere in east Africa there is a man who stuck a spear on the biggest and evilest maneater crocodile that ever was. What a lad
@@riograndedosulball248 well, we can't be sure there haven't been Gustave level Crocs in the past, reading the biblical description of a "dragon" makes it pretty clear it was talking about crocs, and if you can picture what facing off with a beast like Gus would have been like in the bronze age, you get why Dragons got the reputation they have.
@@RipOffProductionsLLC I think you are right. Imagine living in the bronze age and a travelling merchant from a faraway country presents you a crocodile skull, hide or even just a few teeth. Having never seen a crocodile in its natrual habitat you´d assume this is a legendary monster.
@@mapleflag6518 if it's a baby away from its parents yeah deffo, other wise not a chance he would even try goin near a full grown hippo, he didn't get that size and age by being a idiot, normal fishermen are bad for storys, ones in little villages are full of utter shit to try and big their homeland up for idiotic tourists. Take the majority of the storys with a pinch of salt
@@eglib499 yeah a "park ranger" said it's TRUE so it must be so🤣 and if he said a alien helped him that must be so as well eh? Nobody with a brain believes the crap coming out of a locals mouth in that region, no creature can take on a fully grown adult hippo in the wild short of a fikin orca🤣
@@sev1120 sure, because poachers will use an RPG which costs a lot to fire and would literally render the hippos corpse useless. Go back to discovery kids kid
@@youlaughyouphill842 Whilst they do not use an RPG directly, they do utilise explosives in the hunting of Hippos. Upon further inspection, the source I initially used was out of date. Either way, a hippopotamus required an immense level of firepower to bring down, and Gustave does so without any weapons aside from his natural ones. I merely tool the usage of exposures to it's logical endpoint
Fun fact: once a crocodile reaches a certain size, it’s jaws undergo a complete restructuring so that they don’t break under their own power. Crocodiles have some of the most powerful jaws of any living animal, about four times greater than that of a Lion. Also, their stomach acid is strong enough to digest steel nails. If you get eaten by a croc, there won’t be anything left to find.
A alligator named Saturn who was hatched in the swamps of Mississippi in 1936 survived WWII in the Berlin Zoological Garden. He only died in may of 2020 in the Moscow zoo, poor fella had PTSD from all the allied bombings that happened.
@@Jonathan-fb1kj idk. At least he missed what came next. Constant bombings (that would have Stresses him like crazy), starvation (people would likely killed hin for his meat), the invasion by the red army (they would probably have killed im for food or a trophy)...
"There is no sponsor this video" Okay, neat. "Instead, I want to wish happy birthday to someone very close to me" Aw that's so swee- "RAID SHADOW LEGENDS" Ah fuck off Dank
"Oi, he's a feisty one! Gimme the duct tape, I got his mouth closed" *wraps up Gustavs mouth in 5 seconds flat, threw a towl over his eyes, and jumped off* "Oi, he's a beaut! Now, get the tranq gun, give him a nappy poo and let's load him up into the back of my truck. He's just a misunderstood animal who is doing what he is biologically designed to do, and that is EAT. Alright, guys, let get him home before he wakes up. Crikey, you don't want to be here when that happens" Suddenly, a comfortably numb Gustav wakes up, doped out of his mind on a cocktail of opiates, realizes that he's never felt this good in his life, proceeds to slaughter the crew, find the stash of Croc Heroin and is now an emaciated version of his former self, panhandling and acting vicious, waiting for the next trap to be laid so he can chase that dragon one last time
Ah, so that's the noise I'm hearing in my house at night. I thought it was just a faulty water heater, but it's actually the sounds of the 30 foot monster stalking me. Well, there goes my sleep.
Heh, when you see that beast, no wonder egyptian came up with their giant croc god, guardian of the Nile Sobek. Imagine a beast like this one back in the days. Ohhh mama.
@JeffChad yes ruzizi river is a tributary of the white nile wich itself is only a tributary to the nile. The actual Nile starts a few thousand kilometers away close to Karthum. Calling everything that is close to a river that at on point flows into the nile "close to the nile" is extremely reductive of theese vast distances and the giant array of peoples that exist close to it. Places have Names call them by that. Gustave has in all likelyhood never seen the nile. Crocs dont travel that far. Maybe the white Nile but definitely not the Nile.
@Greg McGreg Gustav's allegory is the excessive war, corruption and poaching in Africa had birthed a monster that hunts humans. TLDR is mankind meddling with nature and nature fighting back. Godzilla is the same allegory if you buil it down
@@yamsdev Or just genuine laughter at how mother nature seems to love flipping the bird at the scientific community's understanding of what an upper limit is.
I doubt highly that they could stop a 7.62x39 or a 5.45x39mm If they're firing their handguns, I could buy that it would stop a handgun. Rifles though, that's a bit much even for something the size of Gustave.
"Gustav would have never-ending orgies for the rest of his life, The Zoo he was in would start raking in loads of money, and the local people would be much safer while fishing and getting their drinking water. It was basically a Win-Win for everyone" Gustav's wife: 😠
Gustave is closer to a small Sarchosuchus Imp. in size, but yeah, general idea is accurate, Sarcosuchus is much more similar to a saltwater, or nile crocodile, or any other modern day Crocodylamorph in terms of looks that lives today, whilst Kaprosuchus seems to have been a much more land dependent member of the familytree.
@Dead Body Man would a .30-06 AP round hit vitals if you shot through their back? Dank said 7.62x39 wasn't doing shit to him, I'm thinking a steel core bullet with a shitfuck of powder behind it would do it.
@Dead Body Man I reckon a .30-06 AP would do it. That's a pretty common round all around the world. Something more specialized would be an elephant round like .500 Nitro Express or .458 Lott, but those aren't known for armor penetration. .50 AP would do, but that's a teensy bit more rare. Of course you've got stuff like .338 Lapua Magnum or .416 Barrett, but I'm thinking common rounds. Also, I apologize for the drunk train of thought lmao
@zakaria moroccan A collabrative horror writing project by a ton of writers, about a nonexistent secret organization that captures monsters and supernatural things
The last few sightings of Gustave claim he is around 8 meters or 26 feet now, which brings him into the size realm of prehistoric crocs that dabbed on literal dinosaurs 100 million years ago. Absolute apex giga-chad.
Absolute Mad Lad: Hernan Cortes. Politically outmaneuvered his opponents at every turn to allow a band of mercenaries to, together with native allies, overthrow an entire empire.
Way too controversial. Can't talk about the Conquest of the Americas without a legion of historically illiterate weirdos going crazy if you don't present it with a simplistic, black-and-white and anachronistically moralist point of view. And even then, I like it more when Mad Lads focuses on obscure and lesser known figures.
I heard they let their war dogs loose on natives. So much for the noble savage meme, being in touch with nature and all that. Loser bitches didn't have any war dogs.
steve irwin is well known in the UK too, and i think he may have had a presence in america, he wasn't just an aussie icon, but a treasure of humanity and inspiration to us all. RIP
@@TheHarleyEvans Can confirm, as a kid I loved his multiple series they aired here in the US. You'd be hard pressed to find someone as universally beloved and mourned than Steve Irwin.
@@TheHarleyEvans all due respect he is Australian, yes he may have spent time making money in America filming his tv shows but he is still Australian. He encompasses a lot of Australian traditions and culture. He represented us when all we had in the international celebrity scene were crocodile Dundee and Steve Irwin
the funny thing is thats what people actuall hunt crocs and alligators for to make jackets coats and boots if gustave did bite the bullet who ever sold his hide would likely be a instant millionaire plus if it was unprocessed you could make a LITERAL bullet proof set of crocidile skin armour
@Faceless Ai no he killed his nephews after they framed him for killing cattle and hid in the Wenatchee Valley he was hunted down by members of the community his family and early law enforcement but that is one of the Story's that Historians argue about
My grandparents lived in Chad and the Central African Republic for 36 years. Mom was born in Chad. She and my dad currently reside in Chad in a town called Sahr. I can assure you, the court system, legal system, and the way people are willing to turn on each other like that is just barely scratching the surface. On a positive note though, if you have some friends around you can generally get the kind of warning you need to GTFO if it comes to it for whatever reason. With all the warfare in the area you really never know otherwise. I've wanted to go visit but according to my mom the fact that I'm a ginger means I would have women lined up down the road trying to "meet me", but basically as soon as *anything* bad happened they are so superstitious that I would be the first thing they wanted to set fire to. Heh
@@scitechian Hah yeah kind of. When they were in the Central African Rep. the country still hadn't split yet. Generally if anything kicks off now, Americans evacuate to Kenya, which is actually fairly stable. Somewhere floating around in my family though is an old Sony Hi-8 video from the early 2K's of my grandparents and uncle\aunt being evacuated by marines (I think) while an enemy sniper covered the runway. It's been ages since I saw the vid. Sniper lost. If I can find it I'll see if I can upload and edit this with a link, but it will prob be months before I get it, if at all.
@@ComicGladiator Yeah. My mom wanted to spell it "Tchad", which is the African spelling. I got hassled enough in high school so... I'm pretty happy he won that argument.
Fun fact time. 1. People don't actually know how old wild crocodiles live for, as they tend to outlive the researches, 2. Crocodiles generally only die from a couple of ways, (A) build up of lactic acid which makes their muscles unable to swim, (B) Starvation (C) Disease (D) Death by bigger crocodiles/hippos 3. Gustav is the closest thing we have to a dragon
@@BluntofHwicce true. They have the strongest jaws of any living animal, but only when they are closing their mouth. Their evolution didn't consider the fact that bipedal apes would come along and start holding their mouths shut for shits and giggles
@@drowningclown1027 He was initially buried in France. Later, his remains were exhumed and brought to the US, so he could be buried in full honors from the Navy in a ceremony led by Theodore Roosevelt. His sarcophagus was also modeled after Napoleons!
Crocs are a lot smarter than people think. They have a powerful memory and a surpising capacity for strategy. There's a solid chance Gustav watched them set up the trap, realized that it was bad news, and split.
As a crocodile expert I know why Gustave didn't take the food. He probably saw the goat and thought to himself "naw fuck that homie" and swam away like a giga chad.
Time for another list: - Lauri Torni - Audi Murphy - Roy Benavidez - Witold Pilecki - Christopher Lee - Yang Kyoungjong - Carlos Hathcock - Augusto Pinochet - Teddy Roosevelt - Dwight Eisenhower - Pablo Escobar
Been studying and reading crocodiles and the like for years, I'm in agreement that Gustave was used to larger prey as after decades of hunting that, small prey would do little to sate his hunger and that's barring the fact if he wasn't just digesting a big meal. On the whole soldiers story, pretty sure they were either shit shots due to poor training or were just idiots cause supersonic rifle rounds, like what the AK uses, basically come apart when they impact the water due to the sudden deceleration. This was tested before on Mythbusters when even a .50 BMG just turned to nothing and it didn't even go a few inches into the water. To kill Gustave, you'd have to catch him on the land AND be a better shot then the most likely conscript troops AND using something more hefty like .338 or even .50 BMG. Yes, he's survived some shots at him that were most likely fired when he was seen on the shore except the chad that tried to spear him, crocodiles are incredibly tough animals to kill. One experience by a researcher that actually hunted them, killed one with a arrow through the eye and even after that AND cutting through it's spine in the neck and tail, the animal STILL clamped down and damaged the machete that had just inflicted the wounds. "A dead crocodile is one cut up into pieces" was what a local told him. On another animal Mad Lad, I recommend the New Jersey Maneater which was the shark responsible for 5 attacks, 4 fatal, in 1916. These attacks were massive news, very brutal, had a climatic ending AND ended up inspiring Peter Benchley to write Jaws years later. While the culprit species is still disputed to a degree, it is widely believed to be a young 7.5 foot Great White after it was caught in an epic battle (and I do mean that as the man responsible literally fought it with a unusual weapon, won't spoil that) and was found to have 15 lbs of human bone and flesh, including what was heavily suspected to be the leg bone of the 2nd victim.
Probably not the same one, but there was another turtle which had so much sex that he singlehandedly prevented his species' extinction Wish that were me
Though Jonathan is often said to have been born in 1832 and thus be 189, this is only the youngest age he could possibly be and he is quite likely significantly older. The estimation is based off a picture taken in 1882 which showed him as an adult tortoise (over 50) so it’s aid he was born in 1832, but he may already have been years older and thus over 200 today.
@@thoticcusprime9309 have you ever thought, as horrible as we can be, that there is a bit of good there too? I used to think the same as you but then i realized that humans do good, we do try to conserve things and we look after animals. But the thing that really turned me away from misanthropy was the realization that we are the only life forms that exist right now, and possibly for a few million years that CAN truly save the other species. Aside from the damage we do there is a lot of extinction events that we have had no part in at all. If there was to be another really bad extinction like the Great Dying we may be in a position to save life on earth. It came pretty close to being wiped out. No other animals have evolved to be able to do the things we can do. We are a young species at least give us a chance. We're still toddlers in the scheme of things. Sorry for the long winded reply, I just wondered if i could change your mind on people a little.
Its been done before, its the only safe way of doing it (safe for the animal) But it has also failed, traps have been left in tatters by the big bois like Gustave, they need to be made of proper fkn steel, no this rebar bullshit they used in the docu.
Lolong was the biggest crocodile in captivity and he was caught with a cage. Cages are litterally the only way to catch a croc that big safely. What the other option? Steve Irwin it, and jump on its back and whisper sweet nothings in its ear?
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yo mama
can you start it maybe 2hrs 25 mins earlier?
this is a raid shadow legends moment
But of course
Danky daddy
Imagine talking about Gustave in the past tense like this fucking dragon isn’t still out there plotting in a swamp somewhere
I want to hit like so bad but as of my post you're sitting at 69. Nice.
He’s actually still in the Ruzizi River, he’s between 60-70 years old, 20 ft. long, and about 2,200 pounds now.
@@bendover9813 holy shit, you think he'll live much longer?
@@guyfieri148 a Nile Croc's average lifespan is between 70-100, so this beast could probably go over a century old
@@guyfieri148 also Travel Africa Magazine has said that Gustave was killed in 2019, but no further details where given so not that certain
This absolute chad crocodile has eaten more people than I’ve talked to
"I've never ate a man I didn't like." - Gustave
@@scockery He takes eating 🍔🐱🍔 to a whole new level.
Ate more people in his life than i did
@@yannickgobel2431 I'd like to say same, but I'm not sure
... please don’t eat me ,alive At least.🙏🏻
"Ok we're running out of ideas how to get this literal fucking dinosaur in the cage. What do we do?"
*literally tries to lure him in with a live goat like he's the T-Rex in Jurassic Park*
give crocs their proper credit, they're nearly as old as dinos, if not older depending on how loose you want to be with dividing "early-basically-crocs-but-not-really-crocs" from "real crocs"
he likes slapping people around in the pvp arena.
@@RipOffProductionsLLC They might actually be older than dinosaurs and they also used to eat them.
@@Zaelkrie they were also eaten by Dinos. Saurians are evil vile beasts.
@@Zaelkrie And st the rate were going they'll outlive us too lol.
I love how that minister predicted a civil war like a political weatherman, 'oh you know Patrice, I think in a couple of months there may be hundreds of people dead for stupid reasons, but you know how it is in the ethnic cleansing season Africa.'
Lol after it happening as often as weather I suppose you would get pretty good at being able to predict when its going to happen.
That’s Africa for you
“Predicted a civil war”
It wasn’t a prediction. The civil war was already going on at the time. It had not ended, there was just a ceasefire between the Rwandan government and the RPF and plans to end the war with the signing of peace and demobilization deals in Arusha, but tension was still extremely high and private extremist militias were known openly to be preparing for something by holding training sessions and weapons caches across the capital Kigali. Everyone knew what was going to happen. The head of the UN mission in Rwanda general Dallaire wrote to NYC urging authority to seize weapons caches planted in Kigali in the event the accords fell through and was rebuked by his superiors thousands of miles away. It wasn’t a “oops that’s Africa for you!” Moment it was a “nothing has changed because no one has seriously attempted to change it so what do you expect?” Type situation
Dallaire wrote a memoire on the genocide that you can read if you want a better portrait of what happened than the one that has been parroted over and over by people who don’t know what they are talking about
I'm pretty sure that civil war is always in season in Africa. It's a huge continent first of all, and the people are insane.
That awkward moment when the small island starts looking back at you...
Reminds me of that time when a group of crocodiles stopped a Japanese assault during WW2. I wish I was making this up.
@@ervinpucchi6951 why wish something so stupid ?
@Cracker Jack -KFP Crack Dealer Yup, the exact one.
Funny enough, when the female team member spotted Gustave, both from the air and on foot, she said he was so big, at first, she thought he was a sandbank in the river.
@@thoticcusprime9309 search it up. About 500 Japanese soldiers died to the crocodiles in the swamp. *500!*
Gustav is literally the legendary animal you hunt after hours of killing the basic crocs.
The crocodile God from assassins creed origins
irl version of the high danger hunts in far cry 3 and 4
@@josephdiaz3057 and Primal
Basically the boss fight
Gustav would fuck the sarcos in ark
Modern people: "how could ancient people worship animals? That's so stupid"
Gustav: is a litteral unkillable animal God
He's probably a reincarnation of Sebek.
I mean, throw a bunch of grenades into that big mouth of his, or use some armor pen rounds, pretty sure he'll die in one way or another.
But with old weapons.. Yeah, he'd need hundreds of skilled hunters to take down, most likely, and he needs to be on solid ground without being too close to a watersource..
Or they could build a dam and get him out that way with old tech, but... Idk..
@@KoinzellGaming Gustav laughs at your man made weapons
@@FilmsNerf2 Ah, a petsuchos
@@KoinzellGaming For all we know he would've eaten the grenades and shite the shrapnel
I zoned out a minute and came back to "He initially got a job in construction and married a Rwandan refuge". Thought he was talking about Gustave.
That could make a good season 3 anime.
Gustave may have started out as the villain. But he learned the value of honor, friendship and good honest labor.
Season 4 will be about how the newly weds have to overcome prejucides against bestiality.
On a side note:
Patrice sounds like half a superhero of a philantropist.
Probably considerable for his own MadLad episode.
😂😂😂
I think I've read that doujin.
If Steve Irwin was still alive, Gustave would've been his final boss.
Steve was alive when they were trying to capture Gustave, but he probably wouldn't be able to catch him because he would've had to fly to Burundi during an ongoing conflict.
Edit: I removed a bit where I thought Steve didn't have experience with crocodiles. I am truly sorry for disrespecting his legacy.
We have seen him capture Crocs like Gustave although I feel like Gustave would be his biggest most toughest challenge.
You know Australian crocs are bigger right? Steve already smashed the croc boss!
@@duncanwade1026 Steve had a considerable amount of experience capturing Australia’s two native species of crocodile: the saltwater and freshwater crocodile.
@@duncanwade1026 You have no idea what you're talking about
"So what's Gustav having for dinner today?"
"A leopard"
"Wait... How did he catch it?"
"Well, the army was having an exercise near the lake and Gustav was in the mood for canned food"
....what?
@Ted Hubert Pagnanawon Crusio .... "Dr. Congo" sounds like a silver age DC villain, lol
Nice. I laughed hard. +1
hahaha, nice
This croc could likely actually break into a leopard if he REALLY wanted to.
Rumor is Gustave has relocated to Scotland. He really enjoys the nightlife in Glasgow. Loves to dine out on drunk Scots.
Even Gustave's liver would not be able to survive that
Gustave is the mount of general buttnaked
@@judyhopps9380 Has this come full circle?
You tried scotch smothered pork? It’s good as fuck
An average drunk in Glasgow would have enough drugs in their system that he’d die instantly. Honestly if we could lure him here then maybe we’ve got a plan.
I love to imagine Gustave is sitting in a swamp somewhere, rubbing his hands together and plotting another dastardly plan.
he literally is gustave remains to this day still alive and uncatchable by authories it seems like his children are starting to imitate there papa too as the authorities killed one in 2018 thinking it was gustav only for it to turn out to be one of his kids a 18 foot croc
Other crocodiles: I know your diabolical plan gustave
Gustave: I wouldn't even know how to begin a dia-
Other crocodiles:*pulls out what is left of a hippo and half a human*
"Now follow my moves, and SNEAK around! Be careful not to make a sound!"
Given that he's had barely if any sightings for years he's taken those words to heart lol.
@@TheDaxter11 Real G's move in silence, like lasagna
He's certainly got the snout.
Gagged when he said “at least in Communist countries, the crocs get food”
You mean laugh right, cause it's funny and true.
@@iampotates well, I was eating when that line came up so...
@@objectjon9015 ohh ok lol! Next time just say I nearly spit out my food or something like that you know?
ACKCHYUALLY, he said "in communist countries, at least the animals get food"
@@kengurusafari Never go full ACKSHUAL ;)
I like to think gustave became so powerful that he transcended reality and now exists on a different plane of existence.
He just pops back into our reality every month or so to eat some dark meat, then vanishes back into his dimension.
Power levels over 9000!! You mean?
I know he's a croc but life is not Warhammer and Age of Sigmar is worse than simple hell
He's the first Crotalid. We are fucked
TELAH. He reached it.
The real Mad Lad is whomever speared Gustav like the Burundi version of Geralt of Rivia
Makes you wonder if he lived to tell the tale.
@@DSToNe19and83 Considering they appeared to have only managed the one attempt... I'd assume not. Last ditch hail mary before thousands of pounds per square inch crumpled their torso.
I was thinking about that. Somewhere in east Africa there is a man who stuck a spear on the biggest and evilest maneater crocodile that ever was. What a lad
@@riograndedosulball248 well, we can't be sure there haven't been Gustave level Crocs in the past, reading the biblical description of a "dragon" makes it pretty clear it was talking about crocs, and if you can picture what facing off with a beast like Gus would have been like in the bronze age, you get why Dragons got the reputation they have.
@@RipOffProductionsLLC I think you are right. Imagine living in the bronze age and a travelling merchant from a faraway country presents you a crocodile skull, hide or even just a few teeth. Having never seen a crocodile in its natrual habitat you´d assume this is a legendary monster.
Gustave even touching a hippo is proof of how deadly he was, for context hippos crush crocodile spines in a single bite
Put money on it being a baby that's away from its parents, or just bullshit from locals
@@colz848 He could have ambushed the hippo.
@@mapleflag6518 if it's a baby away from its parents yeah deffo, other wise not a chance he would even try goin near a full grown hippo, he didn't get that size and age by being a idiot, normal fishermen are bad for storys, ones in little villages are full of utter shit to try and big their homeland up for idiotic tourists. Take the majority of the storys with a pinch of salt
@@colz848 yeah gonna have to agree. Hippos are tanks. they are the most deadly terrestrial animals on earth (or something)
@@eglib499 yeah a "park ranger" said it's TRUE so it must be so🤣 and if he said a alien helped him that must be so as well eh? Nobody with a brain believes the crap coming out of a locals mouth in that region, no creature can take on a fully grown adult hippo in the wild short of a fikin orca🤣
Hippos are terrifying and Gustave the legend ate them. A mad lad indeed.
The most terrifying thing is that Gustave hunts Hippos with just his teeth, whilst poachers need to use rocket launchers to hunt them
@@sev1120 lol nice joke
@@youlaughyouphill842 It's not a joke
@@sev1120 sure, because poachers will use an RPG which costs a lot to fire and would literally render the hippos corpse useless. Go back to discovery kids kid
@@youlaughyouphill842 Whilst they do not use an RPG directly, they do utilise explosives in the hunting of Hippos. Upon further inspection, the source I initially used was out of date.
Either way, a hippopotamus required an immense level of firepower to bring down, and Gustave does so without any weapons aside from his natural ones.
I merely tool the usage of exposures to it's logical endpoint
“But because of what he was hunting… UZZZZZ”
@@wrnch9810 why are you mindfucked it's literally just a quote from the video, not like it's a very original comment
He tries so hard to un-Glasgow his accent for these videos but he can't shake the uzz.
Yea, I was like tf is a “Uz” than I remembered accents exist
Nice 420 likes
Fun fact: once a crocodile reaches a certain size, it’s jaws undergo a complete restructuring so that they don’t break under their own power. Crocodiles have some of the most powerful jaws of any living animal, about four times greater than that of a Lion. Also, their stomach acid is strong enough to digest steel nails. If you get eaten by a croc, there won’t be anything left to find.
So basically what your saying is that in theory, Gustave's jaws are strong enough to break raw diamonds?
@@ervinpucchi6951 I wouldn’t go THAT far. Definitely strong enough to shatter any bone he might get his jaws on, though.
@@ctshaffer1999 Ah, Thank you for the correction.
@@ervinpucchi6951 that’s not possible because Diamond is Unbreakable.
@@gameandgamer1479 unless by another diamond of course
A alligator named Saturn who was hatched in the swamps of Mississippi in 1936 survived WWII in the Berlin Zoological Garden. He only died in may of 2020 in the Moscow zoo, poor fella had PTSD from all the allied bombings that happened.
Funfact about WWII and the Berlin Zoo: The first allied bomb released over berlin, hit the only elephant of the berlin zoo.
@@vonschneyd6112 Thats one unlucky Elephant.
@@Jonathan-fb1kj idk. At least he missed what came next. Constant bombings (that would have Stresses him like crazy), starvation (people would likely killed hin for his meat), the invasion by the red army (they would probably have killed im for food or a trophy)...
still impressive he lived so long though thats only like 6 years below the max life span of a croc
If my memory serves me right he actually died in Russia. What a crazy life he had.
"There is no sponsor this video"
Okay, neat.
"Instead, I want to wish happy birthday to someone very close to me"
Aw that's so swee-
"RAID SHADOW LEGENDS"
Ah fuck off Dank
Something seemed fishy about that.
He got me despite that.
I fell for it completely. I thought it was going to be a happy birthday to his newborn daughter.
@@Number_055 I had forgotten about this.
Damn.
when they talk about me, I aim to be described as “... was estimated to have hatched around 1980.”
"crawled from the doompits some time after the sun ignited"
"Clawed it's way from the 9th circle screaming curses in multiple dead dead languages in 1980"
@@suprizeoptomist4680 "I came into this world screaming, naked, and covered in someone else's blood, and I'm not afraid of leaving the same way!"
He's really getting a lot of videos out. Kid must be due soon.
You can tell how soon Sue is due by counting the wrinkles under Danks eyes.
He said as much on Twitter, so yes.
Any day now
I just want to know when her 16th birthday will be.
@@matterking1 pause what?
Gustav is literally a real life world boss. "Gustav the Maneater." Fucking hell I wonder if he drops a mount of himself upon death.
"Monster? Gustave is no monster. Gustave is..."
"A genuine freak?"
"A true beast?"
"The Devil."
What is a God?....TO GUSTAV!!!
OH GOD HES SO COOL!
"Princess Patrice... You lied to me!"
Goku, get me off this planet right now! I’m serious! Instant transmission!
thanks for the likes and replies yall. just thought it fit, yknow?
Steve Irwin would have caught him in an hour with his bare hands
No he would of said, "Crikey! I'm getting out of here!"
"Oi, he's a feisty one! Gimme the duct tape, I got his mouth closed" *wraps up Gustavs mouth in 5 seconds flat, threw a towl over his eyes, and jumped off* "Oi, he's a beaut! Now, get the tranq gun, give him a nappy poo and let's load him up into the back of my truck. He's just a misunderstood animal who is doing what he is biologically designed to do, and that is EAT. Alright, guys, let get him home before he wakes up. Crikey, you don't want to be here when that happens"
Suddenly, a comfortably numb Gustav wakes up, doped out of his mind on a cocktail of opiates, realizes that he's never felt this good in his life, proceeds to slaughter the crew, find the stash of Croc Heroin and is now an emaciated version of his former self, panhandling and acting vicious, waiting for the next trap to be laid so he can chase that dragon one last time
@@filthykallahan6399 Highly poetic. Superb comment.
You forgot the thumb in the butt, South Park style
But then it turns out Gustav has sting ray henchmen! :O
The chance that Gustave is behind you at any given moment is very slim, but it is never zero.
He might be behind you. Staring. Salivating.
Right...
Now...
Ah, so that's the noise I'm hearing in my house at night. I thought it was just a faulty water heater, but it's actually the sounds of the 30 foot monster stalking me. Well, there goes my sleep.
@@KB-bh9hp Just give him some meat and he’ll be fine.
@@mapleflag6518 Ah, I read you, two birds with one stone. Has anyone seen my ex-wife?
Lurking...
Steve Irwin gonna make it into mad lads? Guy was an absolute legend.
Yes, he should do this
He'd be a great pick. I'd like to see Andrew Jackson too.
@@SolarDragon007 Andrew Jackson would be great
@@Yougosha1 Thomas Paine would be good too
@@SolarDragon007 didn’t he cane the shit out of a guy who tried to assassinate him?
Gustavs body count is rivaling the Clinton body count, impressive.
OOOOF
Watch out son
KEK
And he still would be better US president...
That we know of....don't go commitin suicide now, ya hear. The name checks out too. 😉
Gustav hs warmer blood too.
You will never be a giant immortal bullet and explosion proof crocodile.
Why live bros?
You could catch one one day
You could develop the technology to become one
Gene splicing bro, be an immortal bullet and explosion proof crocodile man.
Gaming
Its 2021, just apoint it being your gender. Transitioned crocodiles are real crocodiles!
Poachers: “look at all this free real estate for us to going hunting”.
Gustave: *[ So you’ve chosen Death] *
Unless you have a actual cannon good luck, or ALOT of ammo
Gustave: *[Ah home delivery again]*
Nature Finds a Way
He wasn't just an absolute mad lad, he was also an absolute unit.
Thanks for the compliment.
An absolute fucken *_UNET._*
Macumba get the aks
Not was, IS.
Count Dankula is for me what Netflix and Hulu is for most people.
Yesterday was the anniversary of the death of Karl Marx. He caused more death and despair than he probably ever imagined.
Cheers 🍻
@@juliusfucik4011 Very cool, thanks.
Bloody awful?
Except Dankula is free for you. And if not, a big thank you from those who do not donate but still want to see Dank around.
Hopefully you pay him like people pay them.
"So no harm done." Proceeds to mention several more animals getting tied to a cage and being left to die.
Reptiles do prefer live food, like bearded dragons and snakes. They like it when prey goes wiggly wiggly
@@NS-ru5be like my cat and my hand
“Several sandwiches were lost in the flooding” There, fixed it.
Right as you said "We have no idea where he is" someone knocked on my door and I got unreasonably freaked out.
"Mind if I come in for a bite?" says the strangely tall fellow with a pointy nose and long mouth.
@@libRteedude wearing a trenchcoat
land shark!
@@ThePiscesmMended Now THAT is a vintage reference.
i hope you are okay and it was not Gustave to nibble on you
just knowing that gustave hunted hippos was enough to tell me how terrifying he would be without even knowing his size
When it’s actually your birthday:
“Wait... how does he know me?”
“Oh... Raid...”
You’re Raid: Shadow Legends?
My favorite add so far.
Same
Turd had me for about 5 seconds!!! Lol
I can relate.
So basically, he's the reincarnation of Andre the Giant, as a crocodile.
Just be glad he is not the reincarnation of Terrare. Africa might be empty by now.
Except for the fact that they both lived during the same time
@@cxptainfordo275 terrare lived give or take 100 years prior... so a terrare level croc may still be out there.
@@danlast4726 my comment was a reply to the Andre the giant comparison
I wish that I could get in the ring with him... Rest easy Andre 😭
Probably one of the only RUclipsrs who actually get me excited when I get the notification for an upload
Ye same man his vids are so good
Same
Yuuup
Same!
Same!
He didn't go in the cage for a very simple reason. They kept calling him Gustav. Clearly his name was Sobek.
Person: Becareful. Gustave is nearby
Person 2: How do you know?
Person: The notification for a nearby legendary animal just popped up
Cringe
*equips rolling block*
*equips pump shotgun with explosive slugs*
*saves game*
@@thesmallestminorityisthein4045 I'd feel safer with a carcano so I can empty the clip
BFG9000 for me stupid milsim fps players SMH
@@PainX187 If this isn't a joke then it's the saddest thing I've read this month.
People living near the Nile river: What... is that?
Gustave: I? I am a monument to all your sins.
sick reference
Noic
Did you watch the video. Gustave lives not even close to the Nile. Not all Nile crocs live in the nile
Heh, when you see that beast, no wonder egyptian came up with their giant croc god, guardian of the Nile Sobek. Imagine a beast like this one back in the days. Ohhh mama.
@JeffChad yes ruzizi river is a tributary of the white nile wich itself is only a tributary to the nile. The actual Nile starts a few thousand kilometers away close to Karthum. Calling everything that is close to a river that at on point flows into the nile "close to the nile" is extremely reductive of theese vast distances and the giant array of peoples that exist close to it. Places have Names call them by that. Gustave has in all likelyhood never seen the nile. Crocs dont travel that far. Maybe the white Nile but definitely not the Nile.
Gustave is alive and well. Hell, he is taking on a giant Ape later this year.
Nice
Very nice
He's even a perfect allegory to Godzilla.
Oh yeah I heard some scientists saying that about gustave.
@Greg McGreg Gustav's allegory is the excessive war, corruption and poaching in Africa had birthed a monster that hunts humans. TLDR is mankind meddling with nature and nature fighting back. Godzilla is the same allegory if you buil it down
Count: "This is Gustave."
Me: "Jesus Christ!"
Count: "Jesus Christ."
We should feed racists to Gustave
I looked at that picture and just started laughing. That's not an animal anymore. It's a goddamned force of nature.
@@erynncollier8672 Nervous laughter is the only appropriate response.
@@yamsdev Or just genuine laughter at how mother nature seems to love flipping the bird at the scientific community's understanding of what an upper limit is.
@@erynncollier8672 Hm. Okay, there are two appropriate responses and they are both laughter.
*BREAKING! LOCAL CROCODILE LITERALLY TOO THICC TO DIE!*
My Thiccness is my greatest superpower fr
"Deflecting bullets" sounds a lot like " well, we can't tell the others we missed"
They probably did hit him a few times, but at that size his hide would be crazy thick. So probably just got stuck in his hide
Africans are not known to be the most proficient marksmen...
They should have flipped the leaf sight up. It makes it shoot harder.
I doubt highly that they could stop a 7.62x39 or a 5.45x39mm
If they're firing their handguns, I could buy that it would stop a handgun. Rifles though, that's a bit much even for something the size of Gustave.
@@dudemanbroguy3464 You'd probably need an elephant gun to even phase him.
"Gustav would have never-ending orgies for the rest of his life, The Zoo he was in would start raking in loads of money, and the local people would be much safer while fishing and getting their drinking water. It was basically a Win-Win for everyone"
Gustav's wife: 😠
You mean gustave wives hes probally fathered thousands of crocs in his life time
@@atf5275
1. Ew a 3 letter agency
2. Fetty wap crocodile confirmed??
Gustav was the alpha chad. He's basically the Gheghis Kahn of crocodiles
@@atf5275 Maybe he's a fundamentalist Mormon 😁
@@atf5275 Probably every crocodile in that river is a descendant of Gustave.
Gustave is straight up Godzilla. He deadass hatched a year after the first movie came out
_Oh-oh, here he comes_
_Watch out, boy, he'll chew you up_
_Oh-oh, here he comes_
_Watch out, boy, he'll chew you up_
_He's a maneater_
"Just make sure your animal studies degree didn't come from reddit"
many viewers: awww man
This makes me really want a Mad Lad on Steve Irwin.
agreed
No
Yes
Maybe?
Thanks, everyone. (Reading down the thread made me laugh).
😄👍👍
Gustave is a Croc of focus, commitment and sheer fcking will
I was literally just talking about this croc with my granddad six minutes ago. Kick-ass coincidence.
Ask your grandad if he knows the difference between crocodile and alligators?
One will catch you later, the other in a while
Quite a coincidence...must mean Gustav is coming for you 😮😮😮🐊🐊🐊
@@Sith_Lord_Sweetheart the only think to take out Gustave, is another Gustave, a Carl Gustave recoil less rifle
@@myview5840 Pleased to meet you my view, my name's dad.
@@ComicGladiator Dam bro that’s real crazy. But did any of us ask you?
"... speculated to be the bruise of a bullet wound"
*BRUISE*
Tis just a flesh wound
@Samuel Ikeson Crocs have an armoured skin, its not unheard of for bullets to bounce off of bigger ones
@Samuel Ikeson Ah, my bad, im sorry
Gustav thought, "If I wanted a kiss I call you Mom." AK47 shots hit'em: "Did someone leave a window open?"
With crocs in NA you have to shoot them in a specific spot on the head where skull is weakest. Not sure if it is same for nile crocks.
"Gustave was estimated to have hatched around...."
Me: Hatched? What the fu- Oh, right, it's a crocodile lmao.
I know, from the way he talks about him I thought Gustave just appeared out of the ethereal realm
Gustave crawled out of a fiery hole in the ground
> Hatched
Nah, he swam out of hell's lake of fire to taste man-flash.
"Gustave was estimated to have emerged from the gates of hell in 1955"
I wonder how big the egg was.
Ignorant people: "Dragons don't exist."
Gustave: **stares in chad dragon**
Dragons don't exist. Gus has et them all
Gustav is more like a drake
Gustave vs Dragonlord PPV
I wonder what online rhymes with "Chad dragon"
Oh. Oh no.
Yeah if anyone ever tells you there's no such thing as monsters, they don't know what they're talking about.
Gustave a good boy. He's just trying to bring back the kaprosuchus from pre-history.
“Welcome... to Burundi Park.”
*JP theme plays in auto tuned crocodile hisses and growls*
Gustave is closer to a small Sarchosuchus Imp. in size, but yeah, general idea is accurate, Sarcosuchus is much more similar to a saltwater, or nile crocodile, or any other modern day Crocodylamorph in terms of looks that lives today, whilst Kaprosuchus seems to have been a much more land dependent member of the familytree.
But kaprosuchus wasn't even that big tho. Now purusarus or sarchosuchus yeah.
Kaprosuchus wasnt even a water crocodilian, more like deinosuchus or saecosuchus
Good times
"It would be nice if he could one day be rediscovered, and used as a force for good"
CROC MECH SUIT. CROC MECH SUIT.
Lets feed racists to Gustave
Gustav looks at the 300 Spartans at the gap :
"Mmmmmm. Buffet".
Need a madlads on the 300 at Thermopylae
Small african country: " _Reee_ civil war, _reee_ race war"
Gustave: "Y'all taste the same to me, no more brother wars = more nom noms"
A giant bulletproof crocodile. Sterling Archer's worst fear made flesh.
@Dead Body Man would a .30-06 AP round hit vitals if you shot through their back? Dank said 7.62x39 wasn't doing shit to him, I'm thinking a steel core bullet with a shitfuck of powder behind it would do it.
@Dead Body Man I reckon a .30-06 AP would do it. That's a pretty common round all around the world. Something more specialized would be an elephant round like .500 Nitro Express or .458 Lott, but those aren't known for armor penetration. .50 AP would do, but that's a teensy bit more rare. Of course you've got stuff like .338 Lapua Magnum or .416 Barrett, but I'm thinking common rounds. Also, I apologize for the drunk train of thought lmao
@Dead Body Man well crocodiles and alligators have had little to no evolution since the dinosaurs. They have evolved to be perfect
@@EB-xl6db I reckon an RPG would do it
No put it on an ATV then it’s his greatest fear
Gustave has evolved into an SCP and can now teleport.
Gustav is the gene father of the carcharodone in terminator armour
@Ted Hubert Pagnanawon Crusio 682
@zakaria moroccan a game/fandom don't even bother getting into it its a never ending rabbit hole
@zakaria moroccan Secure. Contain. Protect.
@zakaria moroccan A collabrative horror writing project by a ton of writers, about a nonexistent secret organization that captures monsters and supernatural things
The last few sightings of Gustave claim he is around 8 meters or 26 feet now, which brings him into the size realm of prehistoric crocs that dabbed on literal dinosaurs 100 million years ago.
Absolute apex giga-chad.
Comment made me chuckle real nice il giv ya that m8
Dank, before he breeds his wife:
“But before we get started...”
Baby to be sponsored by Raid
Raid Dadow Legends.
This dick is sponsored by ya boy Raid shadow legends
But before I get into this mad lass
"before I get into the Mad Lass..."
Absolute Mad Lad: Hernan Cortes. Politically outmaneuvered his opponents at every turn to allow a band of mercenaries to, together with native allies, overthrow an entire empire.
The guy was such a chad the Aztec emperor thought he was a god xD
Way too controversial. Can't talk about the Conquest of the Americas without a legion of historically illiterate weirdos going crazy if you don't present it with a simplistic, black-and-white and anachronistically moralist point of view.
And even then, I like it more when Mad Lads focuses on obscure and lesser known figures.
Hell of a story that is!
@@publiusventidiusbassus1232 Same reason I got frustrated at someone talking about Yasuke.
I heard they let their war dogs loose on natives. So much for the noble savage meme, being in touch with nature and all that. Loser bitches didn't have any war dogs.
"Shouldnt this be in the Mini Mad Lad section?"
* Remembers Gustav's physical stats *
"Never mind."
We should feed racists to ween him off eating humans
@@lakeblackBLM n
I can only imagine how terrifying it would be see him coming at you.
It would be like Godzilla climbing up on an aircraft carrier
By the time you saw him it would be too late
@@JohnJohn-yl4ko Haha nice reference. Love it.
@@deusvultpictures6550 true
If you were in the water maybe, on land it would look like an obese guy trying to crawl across the floor.
:Hippos: We just murdered another Croc! We’re gonna make their race extinct! Hahaha!
:Gustav: This’ll be a nice warmup...
“Yah that’s definitely how it went and we definitely didn’t kill the other guy and throw him in the river” -“soldiers”
Probably fed racists to him ya know since they aint human
I thought the same thing
@@lakeblackBLM probably fed one of the locals to him, because ya know. They aren't human
Honestly, Patrice sounds like a mad lad too. Charges or not, he sounds like he had a fascinating life.
Fascinating life and actually did extensive shit to help people. Sounds like some sort of French, naturalist Bruce Wayne without the gun phobia.
@Francis Viero wait for real?
I’m not convinced that the legendary crocodile in red dead isn’t inspired by Chad-Gustave
Has anyone tried to convince you?
It's a legendary alligator bruh
@@scerpalman People always forget; American Alligator.
American Alligator.
With me everyone;
American
Alligator.
Things I didn’t know I needed: a Scottish man pronouncing African place names. Top tier entertainment.
Gustav is immortal can't be shot, can't be cut, can't be harmed by man nature or time. Truly to God of the river
"Cutlass can't chop him, knaife proof guhn proof nuthin can entah his skin."
-Former Naked Commando.
Gustave the Maneater.
favorite food: Human tendies.
Favourite sport: Tag
Hates: Australians.
Status: Dinosaur.
Location: ... dont look behind you.
Silurian...
Much older...
Id swipe right
God hates Australia
Next mad lads has to be "the crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin" he's an Aussie icon and legend my guy would love to see him wrapped up in your style
Amen.
RIP Croc Hunter.
@@hereticdude2788 shout out Aussie mad lads
steve irwin is well known in the UK too, and i think he may have had a presence in america, he wasn't just an aussie icon, but a treasure of humanity and inspiration to us all. RIP
@@TheHarleyEvans Can confirm, as a kid I loved his multiple series they aired here in the US. You'd be hard pressed to find someone as universally beloved and mourned than Steve Irwin.
@@TheHarleyEvans all due respect he is Australian, yes he may have spent time making money in America filming his tv shows but he is still Australian. He encompasses a lot of Australian traditions and culture. He represented us when all we had in the international celebrity scene were crocodile Dundee and Steve Irwin
Making a jacket out of Gustave's hide would qualify as some fucking Legendary loot.
[Ancient Wyrm Coat of Spite]
the funny thing is thats what people actuall hunt crocs and alligators for to make jackets coats and boots if gustave did bite the bullet who ever sold his hide would likely be a instant millionaire plus if it was unprocessed you could make a LITERAL bullet proof set of crocidile skin armour
Nah just call it
[Hide of The Maneater]
If it wasn't for how little info exists on him, I'd suggest the Mad Trapper of Rat River (aka "Albert Johnson").
Mini mad lad
@Faceless Ai ever heard of the Wenatchee wild man
Nah I read the Wikipedia page and that could make 40 minute video
@Faceless Ai no he killed his nephews after they framed him for killing cattle and hid in the Wenatchee Valley he was hunted down by members of the community his family and early law enforcement but that is one of the Story's that Historians argue about
@Faceless Ai there was also a guy who killed his entire town with an axe
Please be one of the following;
- Andrew Jackson
- William Tecumseh Sherman
- Carl Panzram
It's ok youngman, will just stick it on the fridge, so we can see it everyday.
Oi nah. Panzram ent a mad lad mate
@@benphillips1149 why not? I think he fits.
Andrew Jackson would be a nice one
Panzram was nuts
If only Harambe were still alive, we could've had the fight of the century.
At least we’re getting the what-if movie about them: Godzilla vs King Kong.
@@jkblohm9899 wont be as impressive tho
Since Harambe was in a zoo, we could have gotten Cecil vs. Gustave instead.
Ken Allen vs Gustave. Not as one-sided in favour of Gustave as you might think.
Real life Godzilla vs Kong
If Gustav is still alive, and he makes it to 1,000 years of age, he may achieve enlightenment and evolve into a true dragon.
A french plumber killing a giant crocodile. Why does that sound like a ripoff Mario game.
My grandparents lived in Chad and the Central African Republic for 36 years. Mom was born in Chad. She and my dad currently reside in Chad in a town called Sahr. I can assure you, the court system, legal system, and the way people are willing to turn on each other like that is just barely scratching the surface. On a positive note though, if you have some friends around you can generally get the kind of warning you need to GTFO if it comes to it for whatever reason. With all the warfare in the area you really never know otherwise. I've wanted to go visit but according to my mom the fact that I'm a ginger means I would have women lined up down the road trying to "meet me", but basically as soon as *anything* bad happened they are so superstitious that I would be the first thing they wanted to set fire to. Heh
Ohh lordy, two of the most "good luck, you're on your own" countries in Africa. Big respect to your grandparents.
@@scitechian Hah yeah kind of. When they were in the Central African Rep. the country still hadn't split yet. Generally if anything kicks off now, Americans evacuate to Kenya, which is actually fairly stable. Somewhere floating around in my family though is an old Sony Hi-8 video from the early 2K's of my grandparents and uncle\aunt being evacuated by marines (I think) while an enemy sniper covered the runway. It's been ages since I saw the vid. Sniper lost. If I can find it I'll see if I can upload and edit this with a link, but it will prob be months before I get it, if at all.
On the plus side, she came from somewhere named Chad.
@@ComicGladiator Yeah. My mom wanted to spell it "Tchad", which is the African spelling. I got hassled enough in high school so... I'm pretty happy he won that argument.
Damn
Fun fact time.
1. People don't actually know how old wild crocodiles live for, as they tend to outlive the researches,
2. Crocodiles generally only die from a couple of ways,
(A) build up of lactic acid which makes their muscles unable to swim,
(B) Starvation
(C) Disease
(D) Death by bigger crocodiles/hippos
3. Gustav is the closest thing we have to a dragon
Gustave refuses to die from anything other than a true alpha male.
@@BluntofHwicce true. They have the strongest jaws of any living animal, but only when they are closing their mouth.
Their evolution didn't consider the fact that bipedal apes would come along and start holding their mouths shut for shits and giggles
... have you not seen Pelosi without makeup? ... 😬 ...
@@thehumancurriculum1189 🤣
I could be wrong but I think crocs don’t actually die from diseases
all those gators just hanging out with gustave like he's the mob boss
his kids seemingly want to join the family bussiness as well since they killed one in 2018 that was over 18 feet long
Those are Crocodiles, Gators don't live in Africa.
When you edited your comment, you should’ve edited “gators” to “crocs”.
Fun Fact: Alexander Gustafsson, heavy weight UFC fighter, is actually the son of Gustave 🐊
Lol
Checks out
This was not the crossover i was expecting but i love it
Makes sense tbh.
The Guardian fact checking team can neither confirm nor deny.
John Paul Jones.
One of the first American spirited Mad Lads.
He was also of Scottish descent. Signed up with the Russian navy after his stint with America to continue on being a mad lad.
@@drowningclown1027 He was initially buried in France. Later, his remains were exhumed and brought to the US, so he could be buried in full honors from the Navy in a ceremony led by Theodore Roosevelt. His sarcophagus was also modeled after Napoleons!
Yeah, he was born down the road from me in Kirkcudbright , proper mad lad
Guy that said "Damn the Torpedoes...is Tom Petty and the Heartbreaker's best album!"
John Paul Jones was a fightin man a fightin man was he he sailed to the east and he sailed to the west and he helped set America free
Seeing a crocodile head on a black backdrop, surrounded by flames, was the funniest thing I've seen all week.
Crocs are a lot smarter than people think. They have a powerful memory and a surpising capacity for strategy.
There's a solid chance Gustav watched them set up the trap, realized that it was bad news, and split.
"bullets just literally bounce off him, oh, and he eats bullets!" yeah a tranq dart will do, it'll be fine, really.
If by "tranc dart" you mean "ICBM repurposed to deliver tranq payload"
@@velnoa tanks in a swamp?
@@hyperionthelast4239 remarkable, really.
That guy that wants to claim he killed THE Croc: "I am the hunter, i' m the man who killed Gusta..."
Gustavo: "Buffaloshit!" (SNAP)
I honestly kept waiting for Steve Irwin to appear in this story like “crikey! Here’s how you do it!”
And then comes the south park rendition of it.
Dankula saying Gustave shouldn't be protected at the end like this living crocodile warmachine actually *needs* our protection.
As a crocodile expert I know why Gustave didn't take the food. He probably saw the goat and thought to himself "naw fuck that homie" and swam away like a giga chad.
I can confirm that this is in fact true. I even pulled the cage in the water for good measure.
Can confirm. I was the chicken.
Time for another list:
- Lauri Torni
- Audi Murphy
- Roy Benavidez
- Witold Pilecki
- Christopher Lee
- Yang Kyoungjong
- Carlos Hathcock
- Augusto Pinochet
- Teddy Roosevelt
- Dwight Eisenhower
- Pablo Escobar
- Andrew Jackson
- William Tecumseh Sherman
- Carl Panzram
No hunter s thompson
Mad Lads episode on Martin Shkreli pls
Trump's story ain't over yet
Trump stopped being funny in 2017
20:39
IT WAS THE VOODOO DUDE!
he made the weather go bad. He was on Gustav's side all along...
He is Gustave, shape changer.
Been studying and reading crocodiles and the like for years, I'm in agreement that Gustave was used to larger prey as after decades of hunting that, small prey would do little to sate his hunger and that's barring the fact if he wasn't just digesting a big meal. On the whole soldiers story, pretty sure they were either shit shots due to poor training or were just idiots cause supersonic rifle rounds, like what the AK uses, basically come apart when they impact the water due to the sudden deceleration. This was tested before on Mythbusters when even a .50 BMG just turned to nothing and it didn't even go a few inches into the water. To kill Gustave, you'd have to catch him on the land AND be a better shot then the most likely conscript troops AND using something more hefty like .338 or even .50 BMG. Yes, he's survived some shots at him that were most likely fired when he was seen on the shore except the chad that tried to spear him, crocodiles are incredibly tough animals to kill. One experience by a researcher that actually hunted them, killed one with a arrow through the eye and even after that AND cutting through it's spine in the neck and tail, the animal STILL clamped down and damaged the machete that had just inflicted the wounds. "A dead crocodile is one cut up into pieces" was what a local told him.
On another animal Mad Lad, I recommend the New Jersey Maneater which was the shark responsible for 5 attacks, 4 fatal, in 1916. These attacks were massive news, very brutal, had a climatic ending AND ended up inspiring Peter Benchley to write Jaws years later. While the culprit species is still disputed to a degree, it is widely believed to be a young 7.5 foot Great White after it was caught in an epic battle (and I do mean that as the man responsible literally fought it with a unusual weapon, won't spoil that) and was found to have 15 lbs of human bone and flesh, including what was heavily suspected to be the leg bone of the 2nd victim.
We need a mad lad on Jonathan the turtle, he’s older then the Victorian era
Probably not the same one, but there was another turtle which had so much sex that he singlehandedly prevented his species' extinction
Wish that were me
@@Assault_Butter_Knife thats diego
@@Assault_Butter_Knife I wouldnt help this worthless species survive.
Though Jonathan is often said to have been born in 1832 and thus be 189, this is only the youngest age he could possibly be and he is quite likely significantly older. The estimation is based off a picture taken in 1882 which showed him as an adult tortoise (over 50) so it’s aid he was born in 1832, but he may already have been years older and thus over 200 today.
@@thoticcusprime9309 have you ever thought, as horrible as we can be, that there is a bit of good there too? I used to think the same as you but then i realized that humans do good, we do try to conserve things and we look after animals.
But the thing that really turned me away from misanthropy was the realization that we are the only life forms that exist right now, and possibly for a few million years that CAN truly save the other species. Aside from the damage we do there is a lot of extinction events that we have had no part in at all. If there was to be another really bad extinction like the Great Dying we may be in a position to save life on earth. It came pretty close to being wiped out. No other animals have evolved to be able to do the things we can do. We are a young species at least give us a chance. We're still toddlers in the scheme of things.
Sorry for the long winded reply, I just wondered if i could change your mind on people a little.
"First Dib's on Food & Mating" Never thought I'd be Jealous of a Crocodile!
just remember that the food is raw meat covered in dirty river water, and the mating is with crocodiles :P
You've got to grow a thicker skin.
@@kertas1991111 Whats tha downside? Bit of riverwarter and the odd crock? Sounds like a party!
Laughing already at the notion of “a cage” capturing a crocodile, let alone one the size of what’s being shown with Gustav
Its been done before, its the only safe way of doing it (safe for the animal) But it has also failed, traps have been left in tatters by the big bois like Gustave, they need to be made of proper fkn steel, no this rebar bullshit they used in the docu.
Imagine his jaw strength lol
Lolong was the biggest crocodile in captivity and he was caught with a cage.
Cages are litterally the only way to catch a croc that big safely. What the other option? Steve Irwin it, and jump on its back and whisper sweet nothings in its ear?
@@bensjammin5823 Get someone big like Daniel Cormier to Steve Irwin it?
We do it all the time here in Australia. Using floating cages is actually the most common way of capturing problem crocs.