Happy 27th birthday Monica. As a 14 year old girl, I look up to you a lot. Your videos are truly eye-opening and you explain everything so perfectly. I aspire to be a strong woman like you when i grow up :) Thank you for all the content you put out for us!!
Trusting yourself is so important Trust yourself to feed yourself Trust yourself to clean yourself Trust yourself to make your money Trust yourself to create joy It's my mantra for this season of my life. To Trust myself. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the interwebs!! Really appreciate it
I’ve noticed that when I’m not socializing , or like I’ve been home alone for a while working etc , I get sad and very tired. But once I’m out with friends I feel energized. I never noticed that socializing or just being around people is critical to me , so I am working on this. Trying to meet with friends without feeling guilty that I should be working instead . It’s weird being 30 and re learning my self (what works for me and what doesn’t ) after quitting my 9-5 . It’s definitely an adjustment
Hey guys, male viewer here. Cool video, I like watching her videos, pausing and having a deep introspection on how this could affect me and how I could use her experiences as a learning tool. Can't lie I found her videos from the Sneako beef, but I'm glad I found her channel and I grew out of the Sneako angry male phase. Summer burnout is real guys, I had to study for my summer exams, thankfully I passed but I got burnt out sooo much, it'll all be worth it in the end.
I've been consistent with the fitness journey for last 2 months and honestly it feels so so great. Once I am at the gym, just seeing people around me work so hard, makes me work hard. And the biggest challenge is showing up, not lifting heavy. And even if I feel like not showing up, going there just makes everything better
Monica. You have no idea how much this resonates with me right now. I feel so out of touch with myself, so depressed and lost. There's so many things I want to do, so many books I want to read but I just can't get myself to do all of that. I feel exhausted. I used to work out and take my dogs for a walk every day religiously. I do think a part of me feeling like that is being burn out. I put so much pressure on myself to do as much as I can, and I also recognize the role of capitalism and its emphasis on productiveness that makes us feel like we're valuable only if we're making money or participating in some type of production even if we're sacrificing our health in the process. So yeah. Sorry for the ranting, I do want to thank you for this video, it makes me feel less alone and also motivated to restart my fitness and just overall 'recovery' journey while also being patient and kind with myself. ❤️
hi monica i found your channel recently and you resonate so fucking deeply with what me and a lot of people are feeling. i haven’t seen this video yet but i was thinking about your video about hopelessness, i would love to see if some kind of organization for radical change could be done in the influencer sphere. people with audiences i think have the power to maybe work with eachother to get the word out about actualizing some kind of revolution. probably wishful thinking but you as someone with a platform who cares and feels so deeply and is so intelligent and wise gives me real hope
Hey monica, as a 25 year old southeast asian woman i relate to your journey so much and i love listening to your perspectives. Funny how i almost always find myself nodding along to your words. It feels crazy finding validation in you, a stranger, who i probably will never be able to meet/never would have met. I'm thankful you exist and appreciate you sharing your growth on the internet.
“I am me, and things just happen…” Thanks for that reminder Monica. Happy birthday. The way that you talk about your experience is really grounding and inspiring to me, thanks for sharing.
Gorll, when you said “you only get one life” and don’t wanna overwork yourself during it. I feel you. I’m a Virgo myself and I feel like we do that a lot….. I just have to say thank you for sharing this and being you I’m sending you a huge hug
I’m only ten minutes in but this video resonates so much. My birthday is today. I’m 27 now and I was thinking about thanking you for making this video because this is how I feel, the “hallway feeling”. then you said your birthday is in two days and you’ll be 27. I’ll take this as a little godwink. Thank you for uploading this video. 🙂
I felt this same way for a goooooodd asssss min too. Then I just made the decision to get a job that is more physical laborious (just cus I was tired of these jobs talking my mental labor and driving me crazy) buuuhhhhh sweating at work and just moving around helped motivated me to create more art and go IN with my art career. I’m not working at the job atm and feeling like shit mentally again so prob should work out again
I too find that working a more labor focused job helps me mentally. Probably because I am always in my head thinking of so many things at once. That when I'm doing physical labor I get to just focus on the task. Thanks for this reminder.
What type of job was it? I feel my office job is ruining my mind and body (back pain, knee pain, neck pain, etc). Exercising helps(started recently with a few minutes a day) but so many hours sedentary has been killing me
currently 20, I've known you since I was 16 (more-or-less) and no pressure to you but you've helped me accept myself in more ways than you know and hearing this now in uni, wondering who I am? you're literally heaven sent to me. sending love to you Monica xxx
poor girlie.. i just got done watching your video on sneako and literally was crying a little, the most heartbreaking part was looking up his subcount after. 1m? really? same with fresh and fit? you destroyed him tho as usual ily girl please keep making videos i showed you to so many of my friends and they love you. we need more creators like you. you deserve 1m subs, not those assholes
Thank you for making the kind of content that literally makes me stop in my tracks every time, because you always manage to perfectly articulate thoughts I constantly have 🙏🏾.
Girl, same. This is reinforcing my own reflections from this past week. From being done with past narratives, to feeling depressed again, to trusting my systems and getting myself up after resting a lillll bit.
Love how relatable your videos are. We get so stuck in watching ppl live “perfect” lives online. It feels good to see someone close in age speaking on topics that just makes sense.
this video really couldnt have better timing. i also started going to the gym for comparable reasons, and i indeed experienced clearing of the mind. i cant wait to finally have an 'adult' schedule instead of surviving every day. a bit unrelated, but i was wondering if you were ever interested on doing a video on addiction?
Thank you for being so considerate though there is no need for the apology at the beginning, for the delay in content. You are hella appreciated for everything that you express, breaks included. You always bring excellent food for thought and it somehow is always right on time with what is needed imo. Personally, I feel a resurgence in authentic > superficial interactions online by creators. I’ve been seeing more talks about death and our mortality in the media (Joey bada$$, Angie Martinez, Mike Tyson) I take in. If you ever have the emotional/mental capacity to do so, I think hearing your existential thoughts in this format would be fire. Excited for the next video. 10000/10!
It's amazing how so many things that you're describing in this video I am currently going through, like being in between doors and feeling a little lost. I have a problem with discipline in my creative pursuits and fitness. I'm only 18, but I definitely feel the effects of being done with high school, but not ready to be an adult at college. I don't eat nearly as often as I should, and I don't go see my friends as often as I should. Like you said too, I function pretty well in my own head, and can exist on my own, but I still need socialization. Also, happy (late) 27th birthday! I appreciate your vulnerability on RUclips and I can see your effort to grow!
My willpower is on the ground, don't know what am I going to do... My traumas and anxiety are being too tough on me. I guess this is life...isn't?.. ANYWAY. Always lovely hearing you Monica, I feel hopeful everytime I hear your videos. Thank you.
*19:30* EXACTLY how I feel most of the time, feels like some kind of dream-state, but it's uncomfortable. 'Something? over the eyes...I do exercise tho, it helps some but not much. But I do sleep wayyy too long, stay up too late. I think this might be the issue. Some1 knows?
Hi Monica! I’ve been watching your videos for a while and just want to say thank you. Most of the things you say really resonate with me and inspire me to explore myself more. I love how you talk and sometimes it feels like talking to a friend, it actually makes my day better. And thanks to you I’ve built some routine habits that help me to get through everything that’s going on in my life right now. Thank you and I’m so happy that you’re alright and staying healthy! “I’ll be a million different people before the day I die and I will honor all those people” You’re amazing 💛
You are an insightful young lady...and a Virgo...it all-makes sense now😉. You're on the right path...just reaching full understanding and freedom as I enter my 6th decade. But you are so much further than I was in my understanding at your age. I always watched my own life...like a movie. You are very aware. Brava💖✨️!!! Thank you for sharing.
i love your videos because i relate so much to rationalizing alllllll of my feelings and trying to narrate what’s going on in my life 24/7 to the point where i’m always in my mind and hardly in my body. you make me feel seen! thanks for this
Happy belated birthday queenie!! Your words are so relevant and genuine. Thank you for making the rest of us feel less alone on our paths-I hope you find proper stasis within yours.
Every video you post you describe exactly how I'm feeling! I work from home and been really depressed. Just started therapy and my therapist point blank told me I need to get out more 😆 thank you for the reminder to move my body and actually live my life 💜
you vocalized SO much of what i've been going through and learning about these past few years. i'm grateful that our journeys with healing have crossed in this way, thank you for sharing your thoughts!
thank you for sharing, this resonates and was very comforting to hear. i'm an artist too and i also have struggled with mind / body connection. this video reminded me of how much better i feel when i'm physically active and releasing tension. sometimes i forget. it's nice to know i'm not alone in how i sometimes feel. much love.
Woohooo another video! I love your insight, honestly you're like the older sister I never had (but wished I did!). . I hope you're doing well, your creativity and wisdom inspires us all
Seeing this during a health anxiety attack, was literally just crying in my nana’s bed. The fact that THIS IS HAPPENING to not just me!!! I’ve always had anxiety/depression yadada but on July 30 I had the WORST attack of my life, convinced myself I had the pox. Couldn’t sleep, I felt sick, couldn’t stop shaking and crying. Was anxious for days. And I simply never recovered. Everyday I live in fear that I’m sick and I’m dying. Itching? Aching? Congestion? Sharp pain for a second? I fear for my life INSTANTLY. It’s so miserable bc I know I look insane and I know ppl are like “girl what happened?”. I just don’t know what to do. I was babysitting my niece and just starting freaking out that we had to breathe the same air. I wouldn’t stand in the same room as her unless I HAD to and wore a mask, I wouldn’t touch her without gloves. I felt so terrible about it, which made me feel worse. I want my life back.
happy (almost) birthday!! I am so grateful you exist and I appreciate you always letting us into your brain and sharing your experiences, thoughts, feelings and more! hope this upcoming year brings you exactly what you need and more! also! thank you for this video! you hit the nail on the head when it comes to absolutely everything you said. maybe it’s because we’re both virgo’s, but man, oh man have I been experiencing a lot of the same things these past couple of years. It’s nice to have someone put what you’re thinking into words and also give some extra insight!
I am so grateful for every video 🥲🖤✨ weather is a life update, a stream of consciousness or a lecture of whatever you consider important I’m always here listening and learning so much from you. Thank you for all of the time and energy you put into this videos monica 🖤 we love you and we are rooting for you! Keep your head up and I can’t wait to see your next video.
I'm so glad to have another video from you!! I've also spent most this year not feeling like myself and also tried to recommit to exercise and have been finding it hard, so much of what you said was so interesting and just what I needed to hear and think on right now ❤ Thank you!
Yes! I can relate so much to fitness being amazing, I´m more down since I stopped going to the gym for sure, I´m gonna go back. I was recently diagnosed with cptsd and also trying to make a living out of art, studying music rn, your channel really resonates with me. You are very good at observing life, wise beyond your years
No because I was genuinely feeling so alone w\o ur vids I have a single friend at college and can’t even tell her the things I wish I could tell you I don’t say that overly idolize or to pressure you like you can literally upload a video of u eating saltines for 10 min or painting in silence and you’ll still be loved by so many especially me Ik you put so much love and passion into everything you make on and off line, obviously you’re going to burn out without breaks so please please just do what you want to do not just what you think you have to do. Literally post 10 sec of you tap dancing and well still love you bc we know you put compassion into anything and everything
Thanks so much for this video Monica. You have the words to capture exactly how I've been feeling. I was existing in a state away from my body for so long, paralysed by the state of the world, my past mistakes and used to this habitual hermit state ever since lockdown happened. It's so glaringly clear now that discipline is needed and taking responsibility for life is going to be key. I now understand that it's time to trust in myself more and give myself more empathy because it's also my first time at life. In this post-colonial neo-liberal society we are living through now, we are trying our best and doing so well lmao! We've got this y'all!
Happy Birthday, sis, I’m so proud of all your progress. My journey is similar to yours. From the sounds of it, you’ve had a spiritual awakening. 😁 that’s an incredible breakthrough. Keep going girl you got this!! Also I hear you tellin me to get fit girl I receive it 😂
All I can say to you is thank you; thank you for sharing your experiences and knowledge. I know I will still make mistakes but it's nice to have someone older talking about these things so that I can reflect on them earlier than later
It was perfect 🥰 I am fortunate enough to have been consistent with my martial art practice even through all the young adulthood crisis and the moving out, and I keep circle back to it and every time my eyes get so renewly bright about it! Having this positive « look how well you’ve done by keeping practicing » + all the very rewarding opportunities that comes with progress and recognition in a passionated community, feeling strong and stuff, it really is awesome. And the sports dopamine !!!!! Makes my energy levels go to the roof every single time; keeps me alive in personal crisis and tough exam sessions ahahah I am now trying to detach myself from all the mentors and rely on myself more trusting my ability to grow and get stuff done. As a young woman who sometimes embodies some weird persona of weakness (the help is really awesome and is what gets me going a lot and I love the connections with ppl but also I am independant to my core); letting go of that « I need help » narrative that I grew tired of as you said and watching myself flex all on my own, and the trust!! is also a great stage of my own adulting 🥰 See the Spider-Man movie ahahahah
13:24 This is *exactly* the feeling I've been trying to describe. You even said it yourself; when you phrase it like that, logically, it sounds like if you don't "get back on the grind", you're gonna get fucked, but in my experience *that mindset itself* is what leads you to still stay in the same rabbithole. I think I have a fear that I won't step up to the challenge the next time. But then, as you say, instead of worrying about "omg I didn't do all of this, I'm gonna die", you paradoxically, just trust in yourself, and eventually it comes back. I dunno, I tend to think of myself as a pretty "logical" guy, but that's some voodoo magic shit right there, and it *works* is the crazy thing. That's how it feels like to me, at least, and I've been trying to put a handle on that feeling for a while, but it's glad to see someone else adopt that mindset (I think).
Okay, hmm, I watched more of the video and I'm not sure I agree so much anymore, at least for me. Whenever I get into that mindset, it feels so overwhelming and then I end up not doing anything and then beating myself up even more. I have noticed that whenever I say, "Okay, just do something, even if it's a shitty job", I get more energy back though for more things. It might not be that above mindset I was talking about but more of a depression + perfectionist mindset. It might be framing issue for me, really.
Alright watching more of what you have to say totally agree, think it's just a framing issue lol (you even acknowledge it yourself, it *could* be the hustle culture grind bullshit but no) I should probably go out more. One habit I've noticed that's easily taken me out of slumps is just writing all the time, and a lot more, just logging my thoughts. I've noticed that there's a distinct difference between just overthinking overthinking overthinking on overdrive, because your brain has like 0 RAM, like actually, you'll just jump from one thought to the next and forget what you said 5 minutes ago, and if you're on a negative loop... well, it's hard to break. Nowadays, I'll write down whatever garbage thoughts I have if not just to spew them out; it's helped my mindfulness out a ton actually, just having a notebook, and whenever I feel like I have a thought loop, just write it down until I'm exhausted, then put it away. Maybe I'll read it, I probbaly won't, but to me at least it feels like I've gotten a load off my shoulders. (has the added benefit that maybe once a week you actually come up with a good idea lol)
Like, I agree with all your points, but the whole fallback to willpower idk seems like modern self help brainwashing. Like even the DR people you point out, I don't think the average person there is super disciplined either, but they just like, do, idk. I think whenever I hear "willpower" i get icky (especially bad impression from self help hustlers) I think, and the easiest way for humans to explain it is willpower, but I don't beleive that's the case. That's just my thoughts though.
Of course, I'm just rambling here, most of my thoughts and intuitions probably aren't coherent and logical so don't take anything I say too seriously, and if it came out like I was hyperanalyzing you, it's not, I was knitting while listening to most of this video while pausing at certain moments that stuck with me lol. Think of me as an LLM on the internet. There's a wall of text on your screen but don't take it too seriously :)
There's a really good aura of self trust and positivity underlying this entire video that I don't think I've seen, since maybe Dr. K's early interviews (although he's mostly pivoted to kind of garbage content...). The self help willpower stuff on top I feel isn't for me, but it works for you so kudos
started crying right around 19:00 because i've never heard anyone describe my experience like this, the barrier between me and the world feels so permanent and unchanging, and its been impossible to find the right words. time to hit the gym it seems!
yo if you only knew what this did for me!!! i’m so grateful that i get to have little glimpses into your mind and see how much of my worries are not only my own💞
Hey Monica! I really enjoy your videos so much! Could you maybe do a video where you talk more about the concept of mourning our younger selves? You mention it briefly in this video and it really sounds so interesting! I would love to hear more of what you have to say on the topic. I am also in my 20s and in the process of accepting my change and all the different stages in life I've been through, so when you spoke about that it really resonated with me. Thanks for the great content
oh my god monica you literally speak to me in every video. i relate deeply to feeling so much pressure and tension in my body and feeling like everything i was doing recently isn't even working to calm myself down. i've had several people telling me recently that i should move more because it's like college and overthinking is killing me. i'll be looking at different gyms on monday to start new habits and improve my mental health as well. your videos make me feel seen and heard. thank you!!!!! glad to see you well and happy birthday
You are so enjoyable and interesting to listen to as a fellow artist. Keep it up I love rambling and hearing it from other people and as a music nerd and musical artist I would love to hear your thoughts on Reggaeton and Rosalia.
Loved and appreciated this so much! - would love to hear more about the process of learning who you are in your early adulthood that you mentioned briefly - also, if there a way to give you a small donation to pay for your content, thanks Your content just hits so hard and I also found Dr K who has been helpful for depression too. Thank you so much for sharing your epic thoughts.
Thanks for this upload sis 💓 I’m very much in this dissolved/ in between state and you expressed some of what I’m feeling so perfectly. I’ve been depressed before, but this time I am allowing it to be and trying not to attach storylines. I’m also facing that job vs entrepreneurship question and it’s an interesting place to be in. Everything feels like personal growth lol, something as simple as trying to make money on my own feels like a whole spiritual journey and I’m faced with questions about my identity and who Id like to be as an adult. Chileee, let me start moving my body too Much love to you & to anyone else reading this 💞
Thanks Monica! I took off the past 3 weeks. I could've fallen off for months. I even told myself this morning I was gonna go but chickened out. I'm gonna go to the gym this afternoon ❤️.
Happy birthday Monica! Interestingly, I was watching this while weightlifting, which is the single best thing I ever did for my mental health. I like to give my brain something to chew on while lifting, which becomes repetitive after years and months of similar routines. "Just get it done" is a good mantra, exercise has so many benefits. Thanks for talking about it!
lol, man, i should have watched this a month ago when i put it on my “watch later” list… i have been struggling with depression during a “hallway” moment in my life. i’ve barely been able to do anything. and then last week i started exercising again. i hadn’t been working out since the pandemic started. literally just doing a warm up and some stretching made me feel like a new woman. i didn’t expect it at all. my body was singing. thanks for the honest and encouraging video. your perspective is always so well-thought and thought-provoking ❤️ i’m really curious now to hear your thoughts about rosalia! i dunno why, but i always felt this weird way about how she presents herself. it’s like she’s pretending to be latina? i dunno maybe that inaccurate
omg seriously I have so much brain fog I need to start working out. I have that same feeling of having a glass window in my eyes making me feel left out from the world.
Thank you thank you thank you for sharing what's on your mind and being vulnerable, I relate to how you're feeling A LOT. I quit my job to pursue art full time, being a perfectionist it is very stressful being new at something, I get frustrated and star to judge and pressue myself, then my confidence falls and I feel too overwhelmed and unmotivated to create. It is a very difficult cycle to get out of, I started being honest with myself about my habits and toxic thoughts and now I have more clarity on what I can do to take care of myself during this huge transition in my life. Everything you shared resonated deeply with me. Please keep posting💖
The way you can help visualize the benefits of movement with your way of words is incredible you are doing great and the expectation of constantly creating is just a construct I’m always inspired by your drive n self awareness. Thank you.
I started working out on occasion, I'm trying to do it more often and for longer periods of time, all I do is walk on the treadmill and and watch my phone like a hamster, but I'm trying to loose the 100 pounds I gained during pregnancy.
Holy shit this is so on point. I think there's a point where you just like, holy fuck, I've been through this same damn cycle so many times, but this time it's just like, IDGAF but in a good way. Not hypercritical or hyperanxious **about** being depressed and anxious, not trying to hyperanalyze, just trying to sit comfortable in my depressed little skin sometimes, trusting that I'll get better in combination by myself or with the help of some friends. And I just think like, that's really hard to build. Especially if we've have negative experiences, our natural projection on the world is, "If we don't do ABCXYZ, we're going to be COMPLETELY FUCKED" but as it turns out, life goes on and it's like, hey, I eventually started doing stuff again, not because I had some inner nagging parent that I have to fight against and spite, but because idk, I'm me. And every time I fuck up, there's the immidiate jump to, "omg why you do this you're gonna fail don't you see?" And, in a sense, I logically see it, right - if you don't do the right things, you're gonna fail, simple logic, right? I dunno, it's that kind of irrational belief in yourself that you just have to cultivate sometimes. And I've been through the whole "I hate everything, I'll show the world" angst-fueled motivation and I still feel like, being 22, I have some part of that in me, but it's just tiring, boss. Gotta chill at some point.
Also your comment about just "taking a blase attitude to everything" is also on point, I feel like I didn't even take myself that seriously, I just thought, "hey, another bullshit job, just do the bullshit and let's do what we want." And, like, sure, even now I still think there's a lot of bullshit in the world, but there's also plenty of good I can do, and I think I was just avoiding that, avoiding engaging critically and trying to develop like a coherent worldview for myself. I think it's ultimately a product of how I grew up and the enviornment I was raised in, but yeah... at some point it's like, things exist in the world for a reason. And if I think everybody else's explanations are bullshit, then I better get to trying to reason, analyze, and explain this stuff. I think motivation came naturally after that? I dunno, it's been a long, slow few years of reflection; but again, not gonna dig too deep in myself since I'm just gonna run in circles. I've just started watching niche (positive) channels that I might never even click on ocassionally now, just as a bouncing board for more critical thought.
Whenever I don’t feel like going to the gym, I just tell myself that it’s fine if I go for ten bad minutes and then leave. But I always end up staying longer
“Depression is anger turned inwards” has been a very helpful reminder for me
This line is from the Sopranos, right? I have bipolar and antipsychotics completely killed my depression. Like I’m a normal functioning human now.
@@BrendaGarcia-ty2ml congrats 👏🏼
ooh where'd you get this line from?
SHE’S BAACCCKKK!!!
Thank gooooooddddd there's only so many times I can rewatch videossss
Happy 27th birthday Monica. As a 14 year old girl, I look up to you a lot. Your videos are truly eye-opening and you explain everything so perfectly. I aspire to be a strong woman like you when i grow up :) Thank you for all the content you put out for us!!
🥺
Soooo cute, I remember when I was 14!!
this comment is so sweet 🥺
you will. so cool you’re watching her vids 😢
Agreed except I'm 15 and a boy. Really great stuff on this channel
“i will be a million different people before the day i die and i will honour all those people”
this was so eye opening!! thank you :)
There's no pressure from us to upload consistently. Move at your own pace, sis.
Trusting yourself is so important
Trust yourself to feed yourself
Trust yourself to clean yourself
Trust yourself to make your money
Trust yourself to create joy
It's my mantra for this season of my life. To Trust myself.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the interwebs!! Really appreciate it
I’ve noticed that when I’m not socializing , or like I’ve been home alone for a while working etc , I get sad and very tired. But once I’m out with friends I feel energized. I never noticed that socializing or just being around people is critical to me , so I am working on this. Trying to meet with friends without feeling guilty that I should be working instead . It’s weird being 30 and re learning my self (what works for me and what doesn’t ) after quitting my 9-5 . It’s definitely an adjustment
Turning 30 is a mind f*ck in the best way possible.
“Happiness is the culmination of time spent in tribal settings”
Hey guys, male viewer here. Cool video, I like watching her videos, pausing and having a deep introspection on how this could affect me and how I could use her experiences as a learning tool. Can't lie I found her videos from the Sneako beef, but I'm glad I found her channel and I grew out of the Sneako angry male phase. Summer burnout is real guys, I had to study for my summer exams, thankfully I passed but I got burnt out sooo much, it'll all be worth it in the end.
Open-mindedness, nice!
Happy to have you here!
Glad to hear this! Welcome to the channel. We love an open-minded person
Ur cool af
congrats on passing the exam!
I've been consistent with the fitness journey for last 2 months and honestly it feels so so great. Once I am at the gym, just seeing people around me work so hard, makes me work hard. And the biggest challenge is showing up, not lifting heavy. And even if I feel like not showing up, going there just makes everything better
Monica. You have no idea how much this resonates with me right now. I feel so out of touch with myself, so depressed and lost. There's so many things I want to do, so many books I want to read but I just can't get myself to do all of that. I feel exhausted. I used to work out and take my dogs for a walk every day religiously. I do think a part of me feeling like that is being burn out. I put so much pressure on myself to do as much as I can, and I also recognize the role of capitalism and its emphasis on productiveness that makes us feel like we're valuable only if we're making money or participating in some type of production even if we're sacrificing our health in the process. So yeah. Sorry for the ranting, I do want to thank you for this video, it makes me feel less alone and also motivated to restart my fitness and just overall 'recovery' journey while also being patient and kind with myself. ❤️
hi monica i found your channel recently and you resonate so fucking deeply with what me and a lot of people are feeling. i haven’t seen this video yet but i was thinking about your video about hopelessness, i would love to see if some kind of organization for radical change could be done in the influencer sphere. people with audiences i think have the power to maybe work with eachother to get the word out about actualizing some kind of revolution. probably wishful thinking but you as someone with a platform who cares and feels so deeply and is so intelligent and wise gives me real hope
I wish I knew!! I’m not an organizer, but I would be down to join something! Thank you for your message x
Hey monica, as a 25 year old southeast asian woman i relate to your journey so much and i love listening to your perspectives. Funny how i almost always find myself nodding along to your words. It feels crazy finding validation in you, a stranger, who i probably will never be able to meet/never would have met. I'm thankful you exist and appreciate you sharing your growth on the internet.
“I am me, and things just happen…”
Thanks for that reminder Monica. Happy birthday. The way that you talk about your experience is really grounding and inspiring to me, thanks for sharing.
Gorll, when you said “you only get one life” and don’t wanna overwork yourself during it.
I feel you. I’m a Virgo myself and I feel like we do that a lot….. I just have to say thank you for sharing this and being you
I’m sending you a huge hug
I’m only ten minutes in but this video resonates so much.
My birthday is today. I’m 27 now and I was thinking about thanking you for making this video because this is how I feel, the “hallway feeling”. then you said your birthday is in two days and you’ll be 27. I’ll take this as a little godwink. Thank you for uploading this video. 🙂
Happy birthday! ❤️
@@acciousername6776 thank you!!
@@Ari_Madrid happy birthday!! we have the same bday i believe :)
@@cybering. twins 👯♀️ jk. happy birthday to you too!!
I felt this same way for a goooooodd asssss min too. Then I just made the decision to get a job that is more physical laborious (just cus I was tired of these jobs talking my mental labor and driving me crazy) buuuhhhhh sweating at work and just moving around helped motivated me to create more art and go IN with my art career.
I’m not working at the job atm and feeling like shit mentally again so prob should work out again
I too find that working a more labor focused job helps me mentally. Probably because I am always in my head thinking of so many things at once. That when I'm doing physical labor I get to just focus on the task. Thanks for this reminder.
What type of job was it? I feel my office job is ruining my mind and body (back pain, knee pain, neck pain, etc). Exercising helps(started recently with a few minutes a day) but so many hours sedentary has been killing me
currently 20, I've known you since I was 16 (more-or-less) and no pressure to you but you've helped me accept myself in more ways than you know and hearing this now in uni, wondering who I am? you're literally heaven sent to me. sending love to you Monica xxx
poor girlie.. i just got done watching your video on sneako and literally was crying a little, the most heartbreaking part was looking up his subcount after. 1m? really? same with fresh and fit? you destroyed him tho as usual ily girl please keep making videos i showed you to so many of my friends and they love you. we need more creators like you. you deserve 1m subs, not those assholes
Thank you for making the kind of content that literally makes me stop in my tracks every time, because you always manage to perfectly articulate thoughts I constantly have 🙏🏾.
Girl, same. This is reinforcing my own reflections from this past week. From being done with past narratives, to feeling depressed again, to trusting my systems and getting myself up after resting a lillll bit.
Love how relatable your videos are. We get so stuck in watching ppl live “perfect” lives online. It feels good to see someone close in age speaking on topics that just makes sense.
this video really couldnt have better timing. i also started going to the gym for comparable reasons, and i indeed experienced clearing of the mind. i cant wait to finally have an 'adult' schedule instead of surviving every day.
a bit unrelated, but i was wondering if you were ever interested on doing a video on addiction?
Thank you for being so considerate though there is no need for the apology at the beginning, for the delay in content. You are hella appreciated for everything that you express, breaks included. You always bring excellent food for thought and it somehow is always right on time with what is needed imo. Personally, I feel a resurgence in authentic > superficial interactions online by creators. I’ve been seeing more talks about death and our mortality in the media (Joey bada$$, Angie Martinez, Mike Tyson) I take in. If you ever have the emotional/mental capacity to do so, I think hearing your existential thoughts in this format would be fire. Excited for the next video. 10000/10!
It's amazing how so many things that you're describing in this video I am currently going through, like being in between doors and feeling a little lost. I have a problem with discipline in my creative pursuits and fitness. I'm only 18, but I definitely feel the effects of being done with high school, but not ready to be an adult at college. I don't eat nearly as often as I should, and I don't go see my friends as often as I should. Like you said too, I function pretty well in my own head, and can exist on my own, but I still need socialization. Also, happy (late) 27th birthday! I appreciate your vulnerability on RUclips and I can see your effort to grow!
Really appreciate your content Monica. So fresh to have someone so authentic, raw, and honest like you. Big hug.
My willpower is on the ground, don't know what am I going to do... My traumas and anxiety are being too tough on me. I guess this is life...isn't?.. ANYWAY.
Always lovely hearing you Monica, I feel hopeful everytime I hear your videos. Thank you.
*19:30* EXACTLY how I feel most of the time, feels like some kind of dream-state, but it's uncomfortable. 'Something? over the eyes...I do exercise tho, it helps some but not much. But I do sleep wayyy too long, stay up too late. I think this might be the issue. Some1 knows?
Hi Monica! I’ve been watching your videos for a while and just want to say thank you. Most of the things you say really resonate with me and inspire me to explore myself more. I love how you talk and sometimes it feels like talking to a friend, it actually makes my day better. And thanks to you I’ve built some routine habits that help me to get through everything that’s going on in my life right now.
Thank you and I’m so happy that you’re alright and staying healthy!
“I’ll be a million different people before the day I die and I will honor all those people”
You’re amazing 💛
You are an insightful young lady...and a Virgo...it all-makes sense now😉. You're on the right path...just reaching full understanding and freedom as I enter my 6th decade. But you are so much further than I was in my understanding at your age. I always watched my own life...like a movie. You are very aware. Brava💖✨️!!! Thank you for sharing.
i love your videos because i relate so much to rationalizing alllllll of my feelings and trying to narrate what’s going on in my life 24/7 to the point where i’m always in my mind and hardly in my body. you make me feel seen! thanks for this
Happy belated birthday queenie!! Your words are so relevant and genuine. Thank you for making the rest of us feel less alone on our paths-I hope you find proper stasis within yours.
Every video you post you describe exactly how I'm feeling! I work from home and been really depressed. Just started therapy and my therapist point blank told me I need to get out more 😆 thank you for the reminder to move my body and actually live my life 💜
you vocalized SO much of what i've been going through and learning about these past few years. i'm grateful that our journeys with healing have crossed in this way, thank you for sharing your thoughts!
thank you for sharing, this resonates and was very comforting to hear. i'm an artist too and i also have struggled with mind / body connection. this video reminded me of how much better i feel when i'm physically active and releasing tension. sometimes i forget. it's nice to know i'm not alone in how i sometimes feel. much love.
Woohooo another video! I love your insight, honestly you're like the older sister I never had (but wished I did!). . I hope you're doing well, your creativity and wisdom inspires us all
Seeing this during a health anxiety attack, was literally just crying in my nana’s bed. The fact that THIS IS HAPPENING to not just me!!! I’ve always had anxiety/depression yadada but on July 30 I had the WORST attack of my life, convinced myself I had the pox. Couldn’t sleep, I felt sick, couldn’t stop shaking and crying. Was anxious for days. And I simply never recovered. Everyday I live in fear that I’m sick and I’m dying. Itching? Aching? Congestion? Sharp pain for a second? I fear for my life INSTANTLY. It’s so miserable bc I know I look insane and I know ppl are like “girl what happened?”. I just don’t know what to do. I was babysitting my niece and just starting freaking out that we had to breathe the same air. I wouldn’t stand in the same room as her unless I HAD to and wore a mask, I wouldn’t touch her without gloves. I felt so terrible about it, which made me feel worse. I want my life back.
I just can not explain how much I relate to you😭😭
love your outlook & perspective. As a fellow artist in this world its inspiring and reaffirming to hear you speak!! keep being you & thank you
happy (almost) birthday!!
I am so grateful you exist and I appreciate you always letting us into your brain and sharing your experiences, thoughts, feelings and more! hope this upcoming year brings you exactly what you need and more!
also!
thank you for this video!
you hit the nail on the head when it comes to absolutely everything you said. maybe it’s because we’re both virgo’s, but man, oh man have I been experiencing a lot of the same things these past couple of years. It’s nice to have someone put what you’re thinking into words and also give some extra insight!
I am so grateful for every video 🥲🖤✨ weather is a life update, a stream of consciousness or a lecture of whatever you consider important I’m always here listening and learning so much from you.
Thank you for all of the time and energy you put into this videos monica 🖤 we love you and we are rooting for you! Keep your head up and I can’t wait to see your next video.
love the way you articulate yourself btw your videos are so insightful
So are we always just thinking about the same things? Let me get into this
I'm so glad to have another video from you!! I've also spent most this year not feeling like myself and also tried to recommit to exercise and have been finding it hard, so much of what you said was so interesting and just what I needed to hear and think on right now ❤ Thank you!
You are such a clear and engaging communicator. And so intelligent too! This is the first video of yours I saw, I am definitely going to watch more!
Yes! I can relate so much to fitness being amazing, I´m more down since I stopped going to the gym for sure, I´m gonna go back. I was recently diagnosed with cptsd and also trying to make a living out of art, studying music rn, your channel really resonates with me. You are very good at observing life, wise beyond your years
No because I was genuinely feeling so alone w\o ur vids I have a single friend at college and can’t even tell her the things I wish I could tell you I don’t say that overly idolize or to pressure you like you can literally upload a video of u eating saltines for 10 min or painting in silence and you’ll still be loved by so many especially me Ik you put so much love and passion into everything you make on and off line, obviously you’re going to burn out without breaks so please please just do what you want to do not just what you think you have to do. Literally post 10 sec of you tap dancing and well still love you bc we know you put compassion into anything and everything
I relate with the dissociation n omfg it be hella uncomfortable n ima start working out out to see if I can clear mines cause omg
Thanks so much for this video Monica. You have the words to capture exactly how I've been feeling. I was existing in a state away from my body for so long, paralysed by the state of the world, my past mistakes and used to this habitual hermit state ever since lockdown happened. It's so glaringly clear now that discipline is needed and taking responsibility for life is going to be key. I now understand that it's time to trust in myself more and give myself more empathy because it's also my first time at life. In this post-colonial neo-liberal society we are living through now, we are trying our best and doing so well lmao!
We've got this y'all!
Happy Birthday, sis, I’m so proud of all your progress. My journey is similar to yours. From the sounds of it, you’ve had a spiritual awakening. 😁 that’s an incredible breakthrough. Keep going girl you got this!!
Also I hear you tellin me to get fit girl I receive it 😂
All I can say to you is thank you; thank you for sharing your experiences and knowledge. I know I will still make mistakes but it's nice to have someone older talking about these things so that I can reflect on them earlier than later
I really needed to hear this. I just joined a gym, but I haven't even gone yet. I'm just going to go so I can be more disciplined.
It was perfect 🥰 I am fortunate enough to have been consistent with my martial art practice even through all the young adulthood crisis and the moving out, and I keep circle back to it and every time my eyes get so renewly bright about it! Having this positive « look how well you’ve done by keeping practicing » + all the very rewarding opportunities that comes with progress and recognition in a passionated community, feeling strong and stuff, it really is awesome.
And the sports dopamine !!!!! Makes my energy levels go to the roof every single time; keeps me alive in personal crisis and tough exam sessions ahahah
I am now trying to detach myself from all the mentors and rely on myself more trusting my ability to grow and get stuff done. As a young woman who sometimes embodies some weird persona of weakness (the help is really awesome and is what gets me going a lot and I love the connections with ppl but also I am independant to my core); letting go of that « I need help » narrative that I grew tired of as you said and watching myself flex all on my own, and the trust!! is also a great stage of my own adulting 🥰
See the Spider-Man movie ahahahah
Thank you for this video, this really helped me get out of my bed and thoughts and start with my day! Sending love!
13:24
This is *exactly* the feeling I've been trying to describe. You even said it yourself; when you phrase it like that, logically, it sounds like if you don't "get back on the grind", you're gonna get fucked, but in my experience *that mindset itself* is what leads you to still stay in the same rabbithole. I think I have a fear that I won't step up to the challenge the next time.
But then, as you say, instead of worrying about "omg I didn't do all of this, I'm gonna die", you paradoxically, just trust in yourself, and eventually it comes back.
I dunno, I tend to think of myself as a pretty "logical" guy, but that's some voodoo magic shit right there, and it *works* is the crazy thing.
That's how it feels like to me, at least, and I've been trying to put a handle on that feeling for a while, but it's glad to see someone else adopt that mindset (I think).
Okay, hmm, I watched more of the video and I'm not sure I agree so much anymore, at least for me. Whenever I get into that mindset, it feels so overwhelming and then I end up not doing anything and then beating myself up even more.
I have noticed that whenever I say, "Okay, just do something, even if it's a shitty job", I get more energy back though for more things. It might not be that above mindset I was talking about but more of a depression + perfectionist mindset.
It might be framing issue for me, really.
Alright watching more of what you have to say totally agree, think it's just a framing issue lol (you even acknowledge it yourself, it *could* be the hustle culture grind bullshit but no)
I should probably go out more. One habit I've noticed that's easily taken me out of slumps is just writing all the time, and a lot more, just logging my thoughts.
I've noticed that there's a distinct difference between just overthinking overthinking overthinking on overdrive, because your brain has like 0 RAM, like actually, you'll just jump from one thought to the next and forget what you said 5 minutes ago, and if you're on a negative loop... well, it's hard to break.
Nowadays, I'll write down whatever garbage thoughts I have if not just to spew them out; it's helped my mindfulness out a ton actually, just having a notebook, and whenever I feel like I have a thought loop, just write it down until I'm exhausted, then put it away. Maybe I'll read it, I probbaly won't, but to me at least it feels like I've gotten a load off my shoulders.
(has the added benefit that maybe once a week you actually come up with a good idea lol)
Like, I agree with all your points, but the whole fallback to willpower idk seems like modern self help brainwashing.
Like even the DR people you point out, I don't think the average person there is super disciplined either, but they just like, do, idk.
I think whenever I hear "willpower" i get icky (especially bad impression from self help hustlers) I think, and the easiest way for humans to explain it is willpower, but I don't beleive that's the case. That's just my thoughts though.
Of course, I'm just rambling here, most of my thoughts and intuitions probably aren't coherent and logical so don't take anything I say too seriously, and if it came out like I was hyperanalyzing you, it's not, I was knitting while listening to most of this video while pausing at certain moments that stuck with me lol. Think of me as an LLM on the internet.
There's a wall of text on your screen but don't take it too seriously :)
There's a really good aura of self trust and positivity underlying this entire video that I don't think I've seen, since maybe Dr. K's early interviews (although he's mostly pivoted to kind of garbage content...).
The self help willpower stuff on top I feel isn't for me, but it works for you so kudos
“Depression is the state of being deeply rested against an issue” has been a very helpful reminder for me
started crying right around 19:00 because i've never heard anyone describe my experience like this, the barrier between me and the world feels so permanent and unchanging, and its been impossible to find the right words. time to hit the gym it seems!
yo if you only knew what this did for me!!! i’m so grateful that i get to have little glimpses into your mind and see how much of my worries are not only my own💞
I resonated so much with this video and it's reminding me I've been neglecting my running routine which is so important for my mental health!
Hey Monica! I really enjoy your videos so much!
Could you maybe do a video where you talk more about the concept of mourning our younger selves? You mention it briefly in this video and it really sounds so interesting! I would love to hear more of what you have to say on the topic. I am also in my 20s and in the process of accepting my change and all the different stages in life I've been through, so when you spoke about that it really resonated with me.
Thanks for the great content
Every video you have is like a therapy session for me glad to have you back ❤️
can you talk about how cycles of depression/anxiety can distort our thoughts on relationships/ourselves?
also forgot to say thank you for posting this and being so open. your videos resonate with me and remind me of the power i forget i have
Sometimes depression, lethargy and apathy can come from a lack of focus. Hard to be depressed when you're dedicated to something
this video did so much for me - thank u for being so real. off to the gym tomorrow morning!
oh my god monica you literally speak to me in every video. i relate deeply to feeling so much pressure and tension in my body and feeling like everything i was doing recently isn't even working to calm myself down. i've had several people telling me recently that i should move more because it's like college and overthinking is killing me. i'll be looking at different gyms on monday to start new habits and improve my mental health as well. your videos make me feel seen and heard. thank you!!!!! glad to see you well and happy birthday
girl your skin is GLOWING in this video
SO GLAD U WERE NOT OVERWORKING URSELF, I AM HOWEVER EXCITED TO LISTEN TO U AGAIN
desperately NEEDED this video today. resonates on a different level. thank you
This video came right when I needed it too. Thank you 🙏🏽❤️
You are so enjoyable and interesting to listen to as a fellow artist. Keep it up I love rambling and hearing it from other people and as a music nerd and musical artist I would love to hear your thoughts on Reggaeton and Rosalia.
Loved and appreciated this so much!
- would love to hear more about the process of learning who you are in your early adulthood that you mentioned briefly
- also, if there a way to give you a small donation to pay for your content, thanks
Your content just hits so hard and I also found Dr K who has been helpful for depression too. Thank you so much for sharing your epic thoughts.
Thanks for this upload sis 💓 I’m very much in this dissolved/ in between state and you expressed some of what I’m feeling so perfectly. I’ve been depressed before, but this time I am allowing it to be and trying not to attach storylines. I’m also facing that job vs entrepreneurship question and it’s an interesting place to be in. Everything feels like personal growth lol, something as simple as trying to make money on my own feels like a whole spiritual journey and I’m faced with questions about my identity and who Id like to be as an adult. Chileee, let me start moving my body too
Much love to you & to anyone else reading this 💞
Thanks Monica! I took off the past 3 weeks. I could've fallen off for months. I even told myself this morning I was gonna go but chickened out. I'm gonna go to the gym this afternoon ❤️.
This video is really motivating. Thank you for sharing all that u do! :)
Happy birthday Monica!
Interestingly, I was watching this while weightlifting, which is the single best thing I ever did for my mental health. I like to give my brain something to chew on while lifting, which becomes repetitive after years and months of similar routines. "Just get it done" is a good mantra, exercise has so many benefits. Thanks for talking about it!
thank u for this ☆♡ i relate to so much of what u said. glad you're feeling better
would love a video elaborating on mourning younger versions of the self/ managing embarrassment at past selves or romanticizing past periods of life
happy birthday monica! sending you much love
lol, man, i should have watched this a month ago when i put it on my “watch later” list… i have been struggling with depression during a “hallway” moment in my life. i’ve barely been able to do anything. and then last week i started exercising again. i hadn’t been working out since the pandemic started. literally just doing a warm up and some stretching made me feel like a new woman. i didn’t expect it at all. my body was singing.
thanks for the honest and encouraging video. your perspective is always so well-thought and thought-provoking ❤️ i’m really curious now to hear your thoughts about rosalia! i dunno why, but i always felt this weird way about how she presents herself. it’s like she’s pretending to be latina? i dunno maybe that inaccurate
"and now this is turning into a sermon" had me laughing so hard! Yes it is, but I am here for the service, praise be lol
wowwwww. perfect timing. cheers to growth and patience!!
Thanks for the video, love your energy🧡
omg seriously I have so much brain fog I need to start working out. I have that same feeling of having a glass window in my eyes making me feel left out from the world.
thank you Monica!!!! always great content
Thank you thank you thank you for sharing what's on your mind and being vulnerable, I relate to how you're feeling A LOT. I quit my job to pursue art full time, being a perfectionist it is very stressful being new at something, I get frustrated and star to judge and pressue myself, then my confidence falls and I feel too overwhelmed and unmotivated to create. It is a very difficult cycle to get out of, I started being honest with myself about my habits and toxic thoughts and now I have more clarity on what I can do to take care of myself during this huge transition in my life. Everything you shared resonated deeply with me. Please keep posting💖
Finished my project while listening 💖
The way you can help visualize the benefits of movement with your way of words is incredible
you are doing great and the expectation of constantly creating is just a construct
I’m always inspired by your drive n self awareness. Thank you.
35:50 rosalia and shenanigans? Can I get some context because I love flow and reggaetón
Love you Monica
Okay this is really insightful,as someone with depression.
Happy birthday beautiful Monica 💕
Monica which podcasts/creators do you like to listen to that make content like yourself?
I started working out on occasion, I'm trying to do it more often and for longer periods of time, all I do is walk on the treadmill and and watch my phone like a hamster, but I'm trying to loose the 100 pounds I gained during pregnancy.
Loved this totally relate. I’d be curious to hear your take on Dominican Republics history from Hispaniola to current, Haitians …🌻🌻🌻
Holy shit this is so on point.
I think there's a point where you just like, holy fuck, I've been through this same damn cycle so many times, but this time it's just like, IDGAF but in a good way. Not hypercritical or hyperanxious **about** being depressed and anxious, not trying to hyperanalyze, just trying to sit comfortable in my depressed little skin sometimes, trusting that I'll get better in combination by myself or with the help of some friends.
And I just think like, that's really hard to build. Especially if we've have negative experiences, our natural projection on the world is, "If we don't do ABCXYZ, we're going to be COMPLETELY FUCKED" but as it turns out, life goes on and it's like, hey, I eventually started doing stuff again, not because I had some inner nagging parent that I have to fight against and spite, but because idk, I'm me.
And every time I fuck up, there's the immidiate jump to, "omg why you do this you're gonna fail don't you see?" And, in a sense, I logically see it, right - if you don't do the right things, you're gonna fail, simple logic, right?
I dunno, it's that kind of irrational belief in yourself that you just have to cultivate sometimes. And I've been through the whole "I hate everything, I'll show the world" angst-fueled motivation and I still feel like, being 22, I have some part of that in me, but it's just tiring, boss. Gotta chill at some point.
Also your comment about just "taking a blase attitude to everything" is also on point, I feel like I didn't even take myself that seriously, I just thought, "hey, another bullshit job, just do the bullshit and let's do what we want."
And, like, sure, even now I still think there's a lot of bullshit in the world, but there's also plenty of good I can do, and I think I was just avoiding that, avoiding engaging critically and trying to develop like a coherent worldview for myself.
I think it's ultimately a product of how I grew up and the enviornment I was raised in, but yeah... at some point it's like, things exist in the world for a reason. And if I think everybody else's explanations are bullshit, then I better get to trying to reason, analyze, and explain this stuff.
I think motivation came naturally after that? I dunno, it's been a long, slow few years of reflection; but again, not gonna dig too deep in myself since I'm just gonna run in circles.
I've just started watching niche (positive) channels that I might never even click on ocassionally now, just as a bouncing board for more critical thought.
I just realized I have to repair my relationship with money and with class and status in general, thank you for the video
I love all your videos!!! Happy late birthday!
It’s good to see you back! Be encouraged!
oof I super relate to so much of this, especially the dissociation. really appreciate this video !
The mourning of yesterday is really real I do that too, often. It might be a Virgo thing
Whenever I don’t feel like going to the gym, I just tell myself that it’s fine if I go for ten bad minutes and then leave. But I always end up staying longer
I cannot WAIT for your next videos‼😹 anthro and afam major here sis.. 🇩🇴