Much of the time people get rich by being clever. They do something smart, it kicks off for them. Sometimes they're also likeable. Other people want to support them, wanting to give them things such as money or items. Some people win some people lose. That's all there is to it.
@@Anybodyelse2294 thank fuck. Duck Dynasty Dave Portnoy going through coke withdrawals is the end game. Hopefully he'll have a fort made out of card board boxes by then
Dave PLEASEEEE dont stop the package openings! Its the funniest part , not much to do these days and I look forward to watching this at bedtime, thanks for the giggles man!
I think he does it on purpose to keep up with his image of literally giving so little fucks that he doesn’t even take the time to read a companies name before just rambling it incorrectly lol.
Damn! I've been waiting for this review. This is my favorite frozen pizza by far. You gotta cook the pizza straight on the rack with no tray to get that nice crunchiness. Even says so on the instructions!
I know these are frozen pizza reviews. But this has to be one of the funniest pizza reviews of all time hands down.. davey pageviews is the king of quarantine. Hes the Santa claus of pizza with all the GD presents planet earth sends his purple sweatsuit wearing ass. Good luck getting El Pres back in the office after 3 weeks straight of gifts lol barstool for life baby!!!
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Dave is completely unhinged, nobody knows the rules
A fucking tripod would help...ever knows we can't see shit.
Michael BallsPenis S+ tier comment
coke is one hell of a drug
😂
@@alcoholicssynonymous4151 qqqu yiu I
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Dave: "I don't bake"
Also Dave: Bakes a pizza every day.
He needs a pizza pizzazz
Putting a frozen pizza in the oven. Not baking.
Rich people get the most free shit. One bite everybody knows the rules.
To be fair, most of this ain't free, they're sending it for the exposure.
@@GnomeAndHalflingEnjoyer the irony is still present
@@GnomeAndHalflingEnjoyer It's free in that Dave didn't have to pay for it. It's not a loss for the companies because of the exposure...
Yeah except half of it's rotten pizza
Much of the time people get rich by being clever. They do something smart, it kicks off for them. Sometimes they're also likeable. Other people want to support them, wanting to give them things such as money or items. Some people win some people lose. That's all there is to it.
When dave dies of cocaine overdose, and they do a best moments montage these videos will crack top 3 moments.
"Cocaine overdose" lmao
He’s clearly not high on coke lmao
bahahaha
One purple messiah, everyone knows he just killed an 8ball before the video
Someone send the “Purple Messiah” here a goddamn tripod so his phone isn’t falling over the whole time 😂
And a box cutter before he stabs himself
Just be thankful this one is in widescreen 🤣
Imagine buying a tripod for your phone
He’s legitimately going crazy, give him a week and he’ll be ready to screen for the next joker movie.
Top comment. Only a matter of time.
He's already wearing purple clothes too...
“Some men just want to watch frozen pizza burn”
It’s called cocaine
@@LouSwole The Purple Messiah
“I’m like a purple messiah.” Priceless
He needs to quit doing so much adderall lol
He looks like Barney.
Keep this guy locked in his apartment. Best reviews in a long ass time. He should let the beard go too
manwell21 he can’t trim it himself. He pays somebody to do it
@@Anybodyelse2294 thank fuck. Duck Dynasty Dave Portnoy going through coke withdrawals is the end game. Hopefully he'll have a fort made out of card board boxes by then
This has to be one of the best videos in years. So chaotic. Love it.
One arched back, everyone knows we couldn’t see the “Positive Vibes Only”
Davey’s legit losing it day by day. This is gonna be made into a money how a multi-millionaire went crazy and documented it with pizza reviews
And then the IRS showed up to tax the gifts 🎁
When everything opens I'm going to miss this.
You missing this or what? Give me your life summed up in the last 4 years since the pandemic boi
Can we all take a moment to appreciate the perfect timing of Dave pretending to swing a bat and the camera falling over literally right after -8:31
he can't even cook a frozen pizza, and they thought he could bake cake LOOOOL im dying
One bite everyone knows Dave is baked on something else.
They figure if he's in quarantine long enough maybe he will give it a shot
hockeypromike11 dead rn
I have never laughed so hard in my life.
One rambunctious 40 year old. Can't imagine what this guy was like as a kid when he didn't take his meds.
ruclips.net/video/Qyx641z2dxg/видео.html
You win the comments round for this video.
Yeah. He believe he’s a lot bigger then he is. Needs a reality check.
Adderall
Faster hands than Delino Deshields
one hurt back, everyone knows it's because he's been hunched over with a rolled up $100 bill
Pres only cuts boxes towards his own body, everyone knows the rules
That's driving me fuckin nuts.
Here post pandemic, and man, we didn’t know Dave was going to be the only consistent entertainment during such a crappy time.
one “looks like muhtzuh” everyone knows Dave pretends he’s not a Jewy Jew
He doesn’t tip so yeah he’s definitely Jewy Jew
One bite everyone knows Pizza bagels are for Jews/Italians everyone knows Davey boy loves the NY St.Anthony pizza fest for the homeless.
California cant do pizza
@@ShallowwamYour people don't tip either but that is because they always Dine&Dash.
Progressive Guy my people? We own restaurants my G
Dave PLEASEEEE dont stop the package openings! Its the funniest part , not much to do these days and I look forward to watching this at bedtime, thanks for the giggles man!
he's losing his mind.....and I'm reaping all the benefits *jon lovitz voice*
My favorite scene in that movie.. lol
BEARDED LEGEND the coke is wearing off everybody knows the rules
Hilarious
Wedding Singer best quote of the movie lol
Somebody mail him a tripod, everybody knows there’s 35% chance he’ll actually use it
One coke comedown, everyone knows Dave's a chaotic mess.
El Pres is about to snap, everybody knows we’re going to see him on COPS later.
They're gonna be chasing a purple ford bronco.
“Lotta Mutzah”, everyone knows Dave is keeping kosher for Passover
*Dave's parcels are multiplying like Covid-19 everybody knows the rules.*
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
“It’s so chewy”
Dave I can literally hear the crunch from here
Dude, you’ll never have to worry about food through all this. I’m waiting for the Totino’s pizza review
This lockdown reminded me Dave is still king of content.
You make me laugh and smile everyday. Thanks so much! You are so entertaining! I absolutely love your pizza reviews and watching you open gifts.
These are literally just unboxings with a little pizza review
is this a problem?
Yet I'm completely cool with it.
"Deceptively chewy" -California pizza kitchens new catch phrase
I dont know why he has to record himself eating dinner before the actual unboxing video
Dunno, but I like it
Here in 2024 to check if the pizza from Lou Malnati's has finished cooking yet
Dave’s coke guy finally came through, everyone knows the rules
Wife and i knew it from the first video. And what sealed the deal for me was when i found out he day trades. Them guys blow more then a hurricane.
We're slowly watching a man's descension into madness
"Smelled Wood Fried Pizza." He's an idiot but it's kind of endearing sometimes.
The dyslexia is strong.
David,overall a nice guy,but arrogance comes through.
Get some wrapping tape and collapse the boxes,and clean up the apartment.
I think he does it on purpose to keep up with his image of literally giving so little fucks that he doesn’t even take the time to read a companies name before just rambling it incorrectly lol.
its actually "SMELTED".
Damn! I've been waiting for this review. This is my favorite frozen pizza by far. You gotta cook the pizza straight on the rack with no tray to get that nice crunchiness. Even says so on the instructions!
Amen! One of the best frozen pizzas. This review shocked me.
You're on the right track! I'd say it's in my top 4!
Jesus how much coke did he do before this
ealbertson318 yeah he’s off his chops here
All of it
Nuffin Duer you stole my comment 🤣
Lol ya hes tweakin hard i love when he starts opening the packages hes on one 4sure
ur videos are so relaxing to watch for some reason. You and running on empty food review are very chill for some reason
portnoy is losing his god damn mind
If u were cooped up with an endless supply of pure cocaine... would you be doing any better?
Hey Davey why don't you get to the west coast and try pizza like Tucson Arizona Thanks
One clip of pres throwing it back, everybody knows that a lot of moms are going to be sitting in puddles for Portnoy.
“Whoever did that is a psycho...unless that had anthrax on it” 😂😂😂
One framed picture of Debbie, everyone knows Dave cried after this
Thank you Lotzza motzza for being so nice to our prez. Will def check it out.
I don’t think there’s a single episode where he almost drops the pizza off the board.
One bite everyone knows Dave is a pretty good athlete.
We need Dave to just open presents every show!!! This is amazing 😂😂
one address shown on video everybody knows that's why the presents are coming
The weasel did that shit on purpose absolutely.
"Muscles!!!!!!" Lmao 😭😭😭 07:41
One purple blanket, everyone knows Dave isn’t getting any for a long time
“ this is so chewy”
Me: here’s him crunching on the pizza
One time forgetting the word “tender” everyone knows the rules.
One bug eyed Pres, everyone knows his coke guy hit the reup.
*Adderall
Can remember Diddy sending people to juniors but can't remember if Einstein did math 😂😂😂
This was by far the funniest fucking one of these videos.
Quarantined Dave is a fucking great character.
I felt like I was on some street grade NJ coke watching this pizza review
Davey please bring Debbie into your quarantine shelter that be the funnest shit to watch!
Purple pants and purple sweater, Dave has officially gone insane.
Lol
Shhh just let him slowly come out of the closet. He's sensitive
Purple is the best color
One bite everyone knows purple is royalty.
Bru this guy took like 60mg of adderall and it starting hitting when he opened the packages.
11:09 Quarantine insanity phase one lol, hang in there bro
Been waiting for this one
one army bucket hat choking a millionaire, everyone knows the rules.
Props to whomever edited this. Fun time.
10:43 One coke enraged Portnoy, everyone knows the rules.
I love that he was overwhelmed with the packages, he had no idea what was coming
Coffee and coke going into OT on this one. Everyone knows the rules.
i love this. this is the official peak of the pizza review saga
One purple messiah everybody’s knows he’s coked out of his mind rn
The adderall and Deathwish coffee are kickin in this pizza review.... Damn dude
Dave's swing knocked the camera right out the stadium
Dude this is your funniest one yet!
One “ooh”, everyone knows Dave hasn’t heard that in a while
“These guys are in the do not fuck around club”😂😂😂😂
i love this covid break, it shows who really has talent are who hasnt! its so easy to see that those late night tv show host have zero talent.
Ahhhh ♥️ !! I'm seriously living for these reviews & unboxings !!
I love watching Dave grow. He used the peel, the cutter, and managed to make 4 semi-equal triangles. I see you prez!
This has devolved from pizza reviews to the chronicles of one man's descent into madness.
Day 14 of quarantine and Dave has lost his mind completely, everyone knows the rules
these reviews are so good keep it up!
Yea the pizza was like, " this oven should be hot. " deceptively cold.
This entire video is just a descent into madness.
And i love it.
8:25 Dave has officially lost his mind and the cameras had enough abuse
I always enjoy these reviews, but these have been fantastic.
The amount of cocaine he did before this is insane
These are getting better and funnier!!
One bite everybody knows Dave's brain is falling apart like wet cake.
4:23
These 3 seconds are all you need to see.
When this pandemic ends you need to go to Milwaukee because it’s the birth place of the bar pie. It’s exactly your style thin and extremely crispy
Who ever sent the oven mitts? Genius...
One man who doesn't know how to preheat the oven everyone knows the rules
Now he's got a pizza oven. Tune in tomorrow to see how he F**KS that up
@@MrChumpus hes prob too high on coke and hes jittery everyone knows the rules
One bite everyone knows Dave needs an industrial fridge in his storage locker.
I was wondering where all the coke comments were coming from as he seemed normal during the review. But once mail time started, it all made sense.
One leaked address, everyone knows Andrews gonna have to move.
tiddystreamer69 what’s his address?
@@mistahj218 7:21
SixThirty that’s not his address it literally say Illinois and he’s not from Illinois
@@mistahj218 333 W 14th St APT 3 /// New York, NY 10014 // Theres a bunch of screenshots available in the vid.
@@mistahj218 333 W 14th St APT 3 /// New York, NY 10014 // Theres a bunch of screenshots available in the vid.
Coronavirus can’t mess with BARSTOOL PIZZA REVIEWS BABY!!!!!
One purple jumpsuit, everyone knows pres is lost without Frankie dressing him
at this point I'm more excited for the present opening than the pizza review. top notch
One millionaire, everyone knows most of that money is spent on Coke
I know these are frozen pizza reviews. But this has to be one of the funniest pizza reviews of all time hands down.. davey pageviews is the king of quarantine. Hes the Santa claus of pizza with all the GD presents planet earth sends his purple sweatsuit wearing ass. Good luck getting El Pres back in the office after 3 weeks straight of gifts lol barstool for life baby!!!