Emotional Detachment In Adults /Why Someone Is Detached
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
- In this video, Margaret goes in depth on the avoidant attachment style and why emotional detachment is a protective measure for those who fear intimacy. Understanding the roots of your attachment style is crucial to developing insight on your adult romantic relationship dynamics.
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Margaret really is a giant. God bless her. She just seems to have all the answers. No superficiality, no silly games, just an incredible insight into people.
Great video. My husband has an avoidant attachment style, I have an anxious one. Married for 12 years. We can have nice periods in our relationship when things are good. But when work related issues arise or any health problems, or when I need my husband to help me more with the kids or the household, when I expect him to be a partner and back me up, simply when there is more emotional pressure, then things go wrong. Suddenly, we are not compatible and it’s time to end our relationship etc. I have been working on my emotional health for over two years with the help of your coaching, workbooks as well as going to psychotherapy. I feel very good and people around me notice the change. But when I try to help my husband see, why he reacts the way he does, what does he say? I don’t need anyone, I am best on my own, I like the way I am, and you need help, not me, I am normal! 😂 Simply a perfect video!
My anxiety just attacked me and I feel so depress today Thank you again for this video. It helped me feel better all of a sudden. Thank you magnificent 3.
Excellent. I’ve read this book; its concluding lines are poignant. RIP, Margaret, such a special human being.
Thank you so much. Margaret, a wonderful lady. So sorry you are no longer with us. So much to learn. A window that becomes clearer understanding the dysfunction in myself and others. Humility to not be in denial. A desire to heal and be free from the captivity of our past… I love your videos…
I have all the traits in the video. I found out 10 years ago that I am avoidant and usually I am aware in real time of my reactions. I understood that the facade of independence and normalcy is not beneficial and sometimes I manage to be vulnerable. I want deep relationships, both romantic and friendships. And yet, I will always need space, it terrifies me when an anxious friend needs me too much, I feel suffocated. Just like you said, in the subconscious I hope 'the one' falls from the sky. Meanwhile, I'm working on healing it, for me seems to take a life time.
THANK YOU for making this video! It is all starting to make complete sense with a detached/avoidant partner. I was together with my avoidant partner for 6 years (he ghosted me about 3 months ago after going through some family crises). To have it validated by professionals such as yourselves that it is not always about you as a partner, but has to do more about their protective mechanisms they had learned to use from childhood trauma, really helps to understand their perspective. I went into no contact after he ghosted me as I felt that when he needed me he would reach out, but that has not happened yet.
Doesn't mean it won't. Good luck 😊
Hi I just wanted to say you're not alone. My situation is very similar. 6 years together we broke up 6 months ago but he reached out a lot after 2 months after the break up then ghosted me. I believe his emotional walls are up but we still need to talk about financial ties once in a while. It makes things harder. I'm not holding my breath but we had a great relationship and if he doesn't see that then I'm better off alone.
This is good info, but now makes me feel 100% that there is no hope for my relationship as my ex is literally described in this video. This breaks my heart for him. But in 4 years has never trusted me enough to divulge much about his past. I’m heartbroken 😭
That was excellent!! These videos make so much sense and give such reason to my ex’s odd behavior. Now I don’t resent him that much at all. We are friends now and I know that this is as far as it will go. He is a classic avoidant. I actually feel bad for him.
Thanks for the great video and book reference. I appreciate the insights over the years. As a single father the knowledge I’ve gained here has been very helpful. Relationships are so important, and even men like me can be vulnerable to heartbreak.
This was a super enlightening video. I realised today from your words Margaret that I am an avoidant and now I can see why my pulling back behaviour from time to time over a 5 month period with someone I was seeing (she was anxious) drove her to decide to end it - with her stating she has no feelings anymore. It’s really taken a toll on me, but I have just discovered your videos and they are all helping so very much.
First day of no contact, let’s see where we get to and if I can just hold off not contacting her indefinitely, after I tried and tried to convince her to come back to no avail and no doubt pushed her super far away in the process.
Time to start working on myself.
We got a love Margaret… love her positivity… she has a soothing tone about her…. You rock Margaret!!!
You guys are literally saving lives. Thank you.
Thank you for this wonderful video! As an avoidant, everything resonates so much in this. Not being able to articulate to people why you feel the strong need to pull away or intense fear of vulnerability. I've been fiercely strong and independent most of my life. But I want to have deeper, more consistent relationships with people and not run away all the time. Videos like this help give a clearer meaning for why us avoidants are the way we are.
I'm so excited my broken relationship has been restored my ex lover is back after he left me for another woman*
*I was helped by Dr favour He can also help you too
Message him on whatspp for help
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I can't believe am with my love again
This is on point guys. My ex is an avoidant and I think she's on extreme level. Been in no contact for about 1 week now since the breakup 2 months ago. I've done all the mistakes, name it. Hoping that this no contact will work as it should be. Focusing on my personal growth now and trying to control my anxiety each day.
This video is spot on. My DA partner (of 2 and a half years) and I broke up about three weeks ago. She said she felt she was being unjust in our relationship because, after the honeymoon period, she began pulling away and was hardly ever present in the relationship, both physically and emotionally, which is true. Classic DA childhood profile: never knew her father and her mother was hardly present in her life. She's now on a week-long vacation with a girlfriend. Here's the thing: she sends me nice selfies and photos of her vacation travels everyday and now argues that we MUST travel to those vacation spots together very soon. I'm just wondering what the heck is going through her head. I now walk the streets with a big question mark on my forehead. Thanks for the videos, guys!
Mine has been playing the push and pull game with me gur years....
That makes me so mad...what the hell is she doing?!
@@bunniewood Good question, indeed. This type of behavior is baffling because it’s inconsistent with a breakup. Funny how there’s never ever any clarity or full closure; just the sense that you’re being strung along. Egad.
Thank you so much for this video. It could have been a description of my entire marriage. Really helpful to finally understand the dynamics. Looking forward to making better choices in the future!
Flowers. I sent her flowers and she ran away. I was blocked and can't even talk to her. This helps me to understand why and I appreciate all that you do. Makes me wonder what happened in her past. I want to help her, but I know it has to be her choice. I know she says she only wants friends, yet our mutual friends tell me that there at least 3 guys that they feel she is playing.
It works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
Whatspp me to know how
I can help you out
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@@naijatv.6341 bogus
I can't thank you enough for this video. I have been at the end of my rope in my relationship. This just nailed it. I just found out about all of you through a Facebook group. Someone recommend your videos. I have watched one every evening. To be honest I have just started therapy for the first time. I have a man that I love so much. I've thought he's been having an affair though he insists he's not. I have followed him without him knowing. Everytime he's been innocent. You guy's have just helped me open the can of worms. I thank you so so much. Now I at least know what his situation is. He is the Emotional Detachment One and I am the Anxious one. Now I know to step back give him his space.
This video was real helpful to me. Thank you to Margaret for reading the whole book. I look forward to watching all your videos
Margaret does a lot of research!
Every time I have a break up, I will come to your cannel and binge watching your video. Thank you for being there with me through the tough time!
Thanks for reading that whole book Margaret! Stellar work and very helpful, Thanks Craig, and Margaret and Victoria
Such a great and helpful video. Thank you guys you help me understand my ex-boyfriend as well as my mother who are both avoidant, And yes I'm anxious and have been working on myself for about 6 months now ,I appreciate all your insights.
Thank you Margaret! We love you!
I always learn a lot from your videos, very informative! Not only just about getting your ex back, but also about life and the lifestyle of you and your partner and people who you meet/dating.
This video spoke volumes to me. Thank you Margaret!
"Its not something either of us did..." avoidant words
Someone broke my heart and I have been very cold and detached lately. I actually find affection very uncomfortable especially from men. I like this feeling tho bc I feel like I won’t get hurt ever. I feel almost invivible because nobody ca hurt me.
I'm definitely in every aspect of what you guys are talking about...been in so many relationships iv lost count..ts easier for me to duck out of a relationship that's not working for me(not for them) than confront a issue..I can swith off like a light switch and feel nothing..im now 54yrs old and decided to rather be on my own than to hurt the next man..but here's the thing..I keep meeting needy men almost like they mirror me..I am a caring person my job is a caregiver can you believe that..but in my relationships I care..but stop caring as soon as I feel I'm being controlled..then I back off fast..
Great video, guys! Thank you for all the content and effort you guys put into these videos!
OMG this is my ex exactly...
We planned everything ... blended families .. a future .... I was the one ....
then she asked to only be friends ... i did for a month ... it was nice ... but 8 days ago I said the friend's isn't working .... we have an amazing deep friendship
But i want a relationship. I said if your feelings change call me ...
Now in no contact .... THIS has totaly given me a boost ....
Do avoidants reach out?
With me she said we can be friends and I stipulated that I would tell her that I love her. But I sent her flowers and she ghosted me.
I messed up the no contact thing. 2x already I reached out and it angered her. She reached out to tell me to stop bothering the people around her.
I am now 3 was continuous no contact. But from what I learned, it will take much longer than you may want to wait for them to reach out.
Right on the spot, me secure becoming anxious, she avoidant, probably fearful
Good vid, it's been nearly 5 months and I honestly can't function, feel like I'm going backwards every day.
I was her first relationship after a seven year narcissistic abusive marriage and two kids. I was dead in the water even though I think I’m more secure than anxious.
As long as you are putting videos out, I will be watching them!! Best in the game you three are!
It works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
Whatspp me to know how
I can help you out
±2349155456112⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️
Being vulnerable is a massive mistake its just ammo for someone to use against you in the future.
It makes me so sad for avoidants..
Wonderful conversation guys. 💪💪🙏🙏🙂🙂 Thank you. It was beautiful to listen to all three of you. ❤️
Hi. I have been listening to your videos for 2 months after my break up. We are both avoidant. Our relationship lasted 3 years. It was like tag of war. We both use to hide from each other. Yesterday we've met fayer 2 moths of silence. I really do not know where to go from here. He's 62 and I'm 51, however it feels exactly like when I was a teenager. I am runway bride, canceled 2 weddings, got divorced twice and rejected 5 proposals. And today I really want to be with this man and I can feel that he wants the same, however we are both frighten. 😢😢😢
I started to write a long comment and I thought, no, I need to save all that up and do a coaching session. I have too much to share! Lol
I needed this one today! Thank you!
So do they ever regret the breakup? It’s insane how they deactivate like that. 😢
Thank you Margaret! My ex partner explained.
Right on. Very good analysis.
great seeing you again craig 👍
Loved it thanks Margaret!
I relate to this searching for the one true love so much. I become so dependent on my partner. Then I get really upset when they get tired of it.
A new video by you guys always makes me happy. I'm looking for a video where Margaret explains on three types of connection - intellectual, emotional and physical, and that you should aspire for only two and compromise on one, because three is the jackpot. I told a friend about it and he's interested, but I can't find it now. Also, he made a point - my strong points are emotional and intellectual, i'm no model. But maybe because of that, I have a yearning to have a physical connection with my partner, to feel desired, etc. So I refuse to compromise on my "weaker" spot. Should I work on that so that I aspire for intellectual and emotional connection?
This is awesome
RIP Margaret ❤
More than anything I’ve seen, this video captures precisely what I believe happened to my 20 year-long, loving marriage. This makes me feel very understood and confirmed (I was the one suddenly left behind). Thank you.
Thank you once again! I'm learning so much and I see my ex in the examples. But I will try to avoid calling her a duck if I see her again! 😂
🦆
I think this is what happened to me. My ex and I were together for 4 months but were friends for 2 years. He was the sweetest man ever, but, out of nowhere, he said to me that he felt too in love, too vulnerable, and he was "a person who had always been alone" and he needed to think (he never actually broke up, he just stopped communicating). This, and his sexual intimacy issues, make me think he was the victim of abuse or trauma. I have been totally devastated, because it was so sudden. I haven't pushed, but I have tried to let him know I love him, if he wants to come back. Is strict no contact the best way to go here also?
I would say yes, so he can self sooth.
I'm in the same place, but I'm positive she'll be back. Before school started she told me the voice in her head is urging her to distance, and when school started, she did. I fed into it with anxiety though and pushed her away more. I love her too much and she said the same at times, though she wouldn't admit it later. I'll be here to hear when he comes back to you too.
@@TheyBenefit hi. Yes, let's hope love is stronger than fear!
I have an anxious attachment style but, the betrayal of women has made me more like the guy you are describing. I dont connect anymore, with 1 exception. On May 30th 2021 I connected with a girl that is avoidant. She told me she wanted to be friends. I stipulated that I would tell her that I love her anyway. She accepted that and we actually grew closer. I told her she needed to let me in, to get to know her. So she did. The closest she ever got to saying I love you was when she said that she appreciated the love I give. I remember being on a phone call and I said I love you. Her response was that she didn't know what to do with that. I told her to accept it. Anyways, I sent her flowers and that was the end of it. She blocked me on everything.
@@sivanandayoga2801 Any update?
My ex is definitely an avoidant shoved all our disagreements under the carpet,he also stopped being intimate with me,he seems to think new relationship will be all rosey he still stares at me when he sees me in public ,I mean we were friends years before we dated we talked for years before we started to date,but he still won't try and talk to me,it's disappointing.
Thanks Margaret needed to hear this!
I'm so excited my broken relationship has been restored my ex lover is back after he left me for another woman
I was helped by Dr favour He can also help you too
Message him on whatspp for help
±19789358886⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️
So helpful! What book were you reading from?
I experience high anxiety and panic attacks in Relationship... sense I am Avoidant possibly Fearful. How can I change this? I've had one longterm relationship with an older married man, we lived together 5 years until he passed away 😢. Yes I relate to seeking perfection in myself and others as I felt that was what I had with late partner. With Avoidant partner feel less triggered, with Anxious partner high anxiety/ panic attacks... I've ordered book you were reading by Robert Muller.
Thank you for this video so needed I appreciate you guys so much thank you 🙏 I love you
It works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
Whatspp me to know how
I can help you out
±2349155456112⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️
please do a video on polyvagal theory. thank you
Brilliant
It works out for me
I got my ex lover back within few days
Whatspp me to know how
I can help you out
Is Emotional detachment disorder the same as fearful or dismissive avoidant attachment style?
Goddamn... had to run this one back
5 days into no contact the second time (I messed up the first round) my ex girlfriend is going crazy forsure. She expects me to look at everything and chase.
We aren’t even following each other and she adding me to her “close friends stories” (I don’t view them). And then today to facetimes me while im at dinner (can’t answer) and I text back an hour later “I missed your call, I was at dinner what’s up” and she replies “nothing nvm”. I just liked the text with no worded response because how do you respond to that?? Mad I didn’t just pick up the second she calls even if I’m busy 😂 she will reach out again I’m sure of it
Fantastic video. Sorry to eat into your Wheel of Fortune time, Margaret.
Is it not possible to love without attachment though? I mean that's what the spiritual master say is the path to enlightenment
No, that’s garbage. We are wired to attach to loved ones. It’s in our biology. Look at Jeff Brown’s work on spiritual masters
@@SallyM-hi1mh So you're saying it is fundamentally impossible and beyond the laws of physics and biology to love something or someone, without being emotionally attached to it?
@@joshb7326 are you familiar with attachment theory? Look at the work of Stan Tatkin, Sue Johnson and others that work in this space. Forming attachments is part of bonding. If you don’t want to truly bond with people, don’t allow yourself to attach. But there won’t be much depth to those relationships. The goal is to attach in a secure way.
This is my ex…it explains so much
The problem with dating or considering
A marriage of a Single Mother with Children
1. you will never be good enough for her.
2. you can never make her happy at all.
3. it's all about your faults; your mistakes.
4. the needs of her Kids Always
come first.
5. her Ex. husband is not far away from
the family.
6. she will Always have a warm feeling
for her Ex. lover.
7. the love triangle between you, your
wife, and her Ex. partner is Always there.
8. your needs Always come last;
you will Always be an Option for her;
an after thought, a backup plan for her.
9. your wants Always come last;
your desires, your dreams, your goals
will never Ever be a priority for her.
Gentlemen, Always Remember This :-
"Don't Swim Where Other Men Have
Drowned!
Avoid Leftovers (Single Mothers) At All
Costs."
"You Are The King Of The Castle,
You Are The Catch Of The Cattle,
You Are The Lion Of The Pride,
You Are The Builder Of The Palace,
You Are The Pulitzer Of The Bride,
You Are The Provider Of The Princess,
You Are The Protector Of The Queen."
Coach Craig. You mention in many videos that we need to keep up the work with the work books or your creative healing course, even when an ex comes back. I agree. But what constitutes keeping up with it? If we finish all the volumes or go through the healing course, do we just start over (rinse and repeat)? Do we pick a random volume and review?
I can recommend you to a man who can help u get your ex back before we one week
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Coach! Is it possible after listening to this wonderfully created video that my ex whom was my fiance' 51 (avoidant) of her 20 year marriage then with me 7 months after divorce. Me, 46 (anxious) been with her for 4 yrs... now apart dating others to come back while still keeping our photos and memories up on FB and unblocking me on Instagram after weeks in no contact did an indirect text come back? We are 5 months in to our break up! Thank you guys... I'm tired of crying!
Did it work out for you?
Hey coach! I am finally starting to accept the breakup (she broke up with me 3 weeks ago) but i feel like shot for treating her badly the first week, i pleaded and begged.
she said that she feels guilty for making me sad, should i tell her that i am happy and that i have accepted the breakup even if i still want her baxk?
hope you answer you are the only thing helping me get throug this shit
I can feel your pain. I am at almost 2 months since she ghosted me. Everything was great and then I sent her flowers. I made the mistake to reach out 2x. She contacted me just to tell me to stop and then blocked me again. So I been about 3 wks since I last heard from her. I miss her dearly as well.
@@georgee.9631 Yeah, we were at the same party yesterday, we had agreed to not do anything in front of eachother, but then she started hugging and dancing with another dude while she had eyecontact with me so i said to her that i was dissapointed in her for doing that, then she slept in my apartament because she had nowhere to go, then today i found out that she was angry with me bec i reached out before, now we have no contact what so ever and i feel like we are never ever gonna have it again. Plz for anyone reading this dont break no contact it only makes things worse
@@dielappen111 sorry to hear that. The girl I like has disappointed me to very deeply. I didn't see her but I know she been video chatting with a married man that I told her to stay away from. I just need to get away, friends tell me everything.