r/UnpopularOpinion - Dating Hot Takes 🔥
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- Опубликовано: 15 окт 2024
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#reddit #theclick #subreddit
best first date is to watch click videos together
Real
real
fr
Thanks for doing this. Love your vids, maybe discovering stuff about me. Love you man
I agree, that sounds like an awesome first date!
Fun fact! Millennial divorce rate is 18%! The 50% divorce rate is from the older generations who liked to make jokes about hating and murdering their spouses.
The 50% divorce number is also skewed by multiple-time divorcees.
@@AngryReptileKeeperto be fair, the 18% is also probably skewed, but it's still a significant reduction.
Tbf, when those people got married, it was a time when women HAD to get married or they literally couldn’t do anything in life. Like women literally couldn’t get their own credit card till the 80s I believe. So when it was no longer necessary for women to live dependently on their husbands, they left.
It's possible some of that is due to millenials being married less long. Obviously your divorce rate will be lower if you cut out all the divorces that happen after a certain amount of time later (idk how big of an impact that would make but I would bet that's why it's less than half at least)
Also millennials just don't have to get married at all. Commitment to a spouse doesn't have to be a juridical contract. That gets hate and whining as well by the way... "What's wrong with you, why aren't you getting married?!?!" followed with "What's wrong with HER, she's getting divorced AGAIN?!?!"
The problem is not that younger people don’t know how to fix things, the problem is that things are currently designed not to be able to be fixed. Planned obsolescence is a massive issue.
This. I wonder if the op there has heard of the right to repair movement?
It's not even just Obsolescence. People want smaller, cheaper things. This drives making things that are simpler, and cheaper. An Apple II could be repaired with a logic probe and a soldering iron. You wouldn't even be able to get the probe on a modern PC or laptop. And even if you did sus out the broken part, have fun removing a ball grid array chip and reseating the new piece without several specialized tools.
It's a bit of both, people looked at my mother weird for repairing clothing (mittens, gloves, a pants etc).
So true. For example, I learned how to sew at a young age & recently picked up the skill again so I could add darning to the mix. You can only darn a hole in your pants so many times before your entire crotch area becomes entirely replaced with embroidery thread. The fabric is noticably thinner than it was even 15 years ago. Denim jeans used to protect my legs from the cold pretty effectively, but I can *feel* how much thinner they are now. You literally have to pay over $100 for a single pair of denim jeans from specific luxury brands now if you want them to last over a year.
The newest top in my wardrobe is a band tee I got from a concert last year. The shirt cost me like $40 and already has a hole in the armpit. I wear it as a pajama shirt. It rarely even leaves the house!
The oldest item in my wardrobe is a button-up my mother bought around *20-25 years ago* at a Disney store. She wore it when dropping my brother and I off at preschool & elementary school. I have worn it every summer to protect myself from light breezes since she gifted it to me 10 years ago. There is not a single hole in it. Never has been. It has never needed to be patched up *once.*
Since their conception and for thousands of years, clothes have been designed to last so long that they can be passed down to our children and grandchildren. Our ancestors often held onto clothes that no longer fit them with the intent to pass them down.
Now clothes are specifically designed with cheap, thin fabric and cheap labor with the intent of ensuring that they fall apart within a few months/years so that company can continue collecting your money. This is why I *always* recommend looking for vintage clothes in thift shops, asking your grandparents if they have clothes in your size, and searching subreddits like r/BuyItForLife when you can afford to spend a decent chunk of money on clothes. $100 jeans are worth it when they last 10 years instead of 10 weeks.
it's similar growing technology
just 5 years ago you could disable features of your phone that decreased its overall life span. Now you have to look up detailed tutorials and it just either ends up being too much work or unachievable.
Products are more and more being made to break and breakdown. You can have 1 part broken in whatever you are trying to fix and the part will be just as expensive if not more expensive to fix.
so I agree it's not that people don't want to learn to fix things, it's that making things that can't be fixed by previous knowledge or common sense.
I remember a tumblr post that pointed out that when divorce rates went up, homicides of married men went down. Sometimes people didnt just suck it up and endured the marriage. Sometimes they just straight up got rid of the spouse.
It wasn’t male homicides that went down it was female suicide so it was more women taking their own life to get out of awful relationships that could finally leave safely with their kids and find a better partner in the future
@@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986 I think both went down.
Quick Google says it was a strong drop in men ending their wives.
Some of them repeatedly!
Imagine thinking it was love if irritation is what causes you to murder them 😂
Customers who lie to try and get an employee at a business fired should be legally required to compensate their would-be victim.
Agreed
100%
Yes!!
This is not unpopular! Downvoted for being too popular!
(for legal reasons, this is a joke)
Yes. I think this should be required along with being able to review online reviewers so you can tell right away if the review online is actually reliable
I believe the divorce rate is so high because it wasn't acceptable to get divorced for so long. A lot of those older people who were pressured into getting married when they were barely out of high school are realizing they don't have to live that way any longer.
Basically millenials divorce less than boomers because they marry less in the first place
Exactly this. I know so many older women who wished they would have divorced their spouse because they were a cheater, gambler, addict, etc, but according to their religion and family structure, it was their fault that it happened in the first place. Sickening.
I just had a law uni class , and yes it's mainly our elders divorcing. Another factor is that people marry while being active workers, and realise only once they retire that they cannot stand being around their spouse 24/7 (this phenomenon also happened with covid lockdowns).
@@tdelioncourt1268 with a 34% increase in divorces and a nearly 40% increase in domestic violence during that time, this doesn't surprise me one bit.
I'd say a bigger reason was that marriage was just something you were expected to do back then. Heck, even today, people who aren't in a hurry to get married and start producing crotch goblins are viewed as "selfish" by a decent chunk of the population.
My unpopular opinion is that we as a society put marriage too high on a pedestal.
We seem to believe that it's the best thing people can do with their lives and the only way someone can find fulfillment.
There is no shame in choosing to be alone or having high standards that keep one single for a bit longer, out even being together with someone without tying the knot.
My unpopular opinion is that everyone gets to roll a dice when they turn 16: subtract 2 from the roll and that's how many times you can get married over your lifetime, but you _can_ use them concurrently. Zeros can go into a monthly lottery to get 1 token, but they have to marry another winner from the same lottery round.
Blame Christianity if you live in the US. As a non-American, I actually believe that marriage is the top *relationship* goal. In theory, it's your declaration to one another to support and love each other until you die ("'til death do us part"). I wish marriage went back to the way it was before, when getting divorced would get you ostracized by the rest of society (as in gtfo of the town, not just "oo, they did something bad, yikes"). Then people would actually have to put more thought into it (but obviously wouldn't, I'm delusional but that that much 🥲).
I don't give a shit about the marrying part of it. To me what's way more harmful is the same people who put marriage on a pedestal, also tend to do the same thing with having kids. SO many people have kids just because they feel it's expected if them, and are woefully unprepared to be parents. My unpopular opinion is: if you want to have kids, you have to be evaluated by a trained mental health professional, and if you fail, you have to take classes or something to learn how to be a good parent. That way nobody is telling you, you can't have kids, but honestly if someone where to get to that point and refuse to take the classes, I would feel no guilt in making it illegal for them to have kids.
@@louisrobitaille5810i think it actually sometimes work like that, but most times when a married couple starts to have problems they still don't wanna divorce cause "maybe it'll get better" "we just need more time" and sure that sometimes work, but I feel like it usually makes them irritated by eachother more and more, until the point when they can't stand it and they get divorced
The other situation is that they would start to ignore and avoid eachother and cheat because they don't want to be in relationship together but they feel like that can't leave it so they try to escape it in other ways
And like I said - in some cases it maybe would make a pair solve the issue but mostly it would make it worse
I dont think that’s too unpopular of an opinion
I am aware of one couple that got a divorce simply because the wife had cancer and being married made their joint income to hide to get aid with medical expenses, while she could get that aid if she were singled and they were simply living together.
Needless to say, this is in the U.S.
I've also heard of stories where cancer patients (mostly terminal) get divorced, so if they die, their spouse isn't debt-laden. (Or their spouse makes them sign the divorce so they don't have to deal with the debt. Either way it's depressing to have to think about. The US economy is a dumpster fire.)
Insurance and the medical care system in the US is one of the most brutal systems I've ever seen NGL
@@kaelin_cherise That happens as well.
In this particular case, they just couldn't afford Chemo without Medicaid assistance.
Getting divorced allowed them to no longer file their income jointly, putting the wife under the cutoff threshold for aid.
Together they were not "limited income", they were a middle class couple.
Alone she is a person on "limited income" who happens to have a roommate.
Extremely stupid system
@@kaelin_cherise it makes me think of a genius idea.
Find a single person that is dying. Marry them and divorce them leaving them debt in divorce.
Pay back by spending a nice day with them.
Yeah, my grandma got divorced so she could be paid to take care of her husband after a debilitating stroke. It was kinda f'd up, but it was the only way she would be able to take care of him and not become absolutely destitute. And this was back in the 90s. Seems like not much has changed.
As someone who had to sleep on a bench, not because I'm homeless but because I was travelling at night to go back home from my vacations, and had to wait for a bus for a few hours, and ended up preferring to sleep on the ground, I'm always very curious to hear how people will justify an argument starting with "anti-homeless design is fine"
they never had to sleep rough, that's how
anti-homeless design is fine if you're intending to make a flawed city
Disdain for the homeless to the point of being willing to make your communities actively hostile to all people
@@Nerobyrne then do tell how DO WE solve homlesness? im geniuenly curious, in my country its not a huge problem as in us, but here when working retail i geniuenly knew like 4 homless people who were homles just cuz they wanted to. alcoholic who does not have home to his name because he would just drink it away, who "lives" with his sister but instead of living with her he sleeps in a truck bay and begs for money cuz his sister wont let him buy alcohol, a homless woman who is homless because her husband who shares house WITH HER refuses to buy her drugs so she lives on a streets begging for money and thieving for drugs..
how do we solve a problem when people in that problematic situation refuses help even if they are given help? im not saying everyone is like that, yes there are definetly many unfortunate people but lets not act like everyone is there because life wronged them, there are those who choses it instead of fighting with their problems
@@luk4s56 the problem here was that people piss in the street, the solution for that is public toilets
With the whole “cringe is a bad word thing”, I fully agree with the idea that cringe culture is the true ‘bad guy’ rather than the term. I hate the cringe culture where anything that isn’t considered cool or normal (which can vary based on who you ask) is looked down upon and made fun of. It falls into the idea that teen girls online can’t find anything interesting without someone calling that interest cringe. The fact is we are all cringe at some point in our self discovery journey, and most of us don’t stop being cringe either; and that shouldn’t be seen as a bad thing.
I also agree that neurodivergent people (especially young people) are often targets of this form of bullying by labelling their behaviour or interests as cringe just because they don’t fit into what people expect or assume to be ‘normal’.
yeah. Honestly in my opinion there's no harm in making literal harmless jokes about something being cringe.
it's actually insane how fast you can get attacked by making a playful joke about a media that someone likes.
theres a difference between one small joke and completely backing someone into a corner with joke that eventually become targeted and hurtful.
a small joke doesn't hurt anyone that's just fine.
however the making many targeted jokes in the use of bullying is problematic.
So many people don't know this difference which makes it even more sad
@@dragonwolfzero820 I understand using the word cringe, especially when I will affectionately and jokingly use it myself, it's just when it is used as laughing at someone rather than laughing with them. All in all, i agree with your points.
People who call stuff cringe is cringe but now I'm cringe
Yea I guess you're right
The thing is, having a word for something changes the way people think about and perceive it.
All the way from its conceptual stage, "cringe" is tailored to calling attention to socially awkward or nonstandard behaviour with a specifically negative connotation. This allowed people to notice and shame behaviours that previously weren't enough to warrant attention or stronger criticism. Because of this, I do think the problem is inherent to the term itself, at least to some extent.
In that sense, the rising of "cringe culture" is just a natural consequence of the effect that reifying social othering into a named concept has on people. That's not to say it's always bad to use the word, just that from the moment the term was coined this specific misuse of it had already been predetermined.
Both my parents grew up in a "let's-stay-together-for-the-kids" families because it was quite common in USSR. Let me tell you, this arrangement is almost always worse than the other option. My grandfathers were miserable, raging alcoholics, one of whom hit his wife, my maternal grandmother hit him back, my paternal grandmother left her husband only to come back and for the cycle to continue. It wasn't good for my parents as children and I'm really glad I didn't have to listen to that.
I would say the more important part is that people get married too soon so it ended up with them being miserably married rather then separating before marriage and kids
As a child of divorce I'm so glad my parents didn't stay togheter. I was able to run away from psycho "birthplace" to my dad. If they stayed togheter I would probably still have been abused or even worse
The best thing my parents ever did as a couple was get divorced. Their marriage was a cautionary tale, and ALL of us were happier after it ended.
There is a balance. Marriage without any weight of permanency leads to too many broken homes, but marriage with too much weight of permanency can occasionally lead to members of that family feeling trapped in an abusive or otherwise unhealthy relationship. Most relationships would do well to be a little more focused on the long term and be a little more willing to weather the hard times. That doesn't mean that many divorces aren't positive, just that the majority of issues leading to divorce could probably be resolved without ending a marriage. Literally anyone can have a happy life with any partner as long as they are both willing and able to make it work. The problem is, it does take actual work, and a lot of the time it takes significant change and adjustment for both people involved. It's uncomfortable at times to acknowledge shortcomings and work to become better. It's so much easier to blame your partner, blame your situation, or just say, "this is who I am." Those are the times that divorce is truly sad, because not only is the divorce itself avoidable, but all the heartache and pain that led up to it.
@@jaredwonnacott9732 Yeah, but the important question is: why put all of that effort? What's so holy about marriage that it has to saved?
As someone with curly hair, I 100% agree with the person who said that showering every day isn't necessary. My hair is very dry, and so if I wash it too frequently, it gets frizzy and fragile. I only wash it once a week. I do wash my body more frequently, but I just don't find it necessary to shower every day.
I have bad excema, so my dermatologist tells me not to shower every day. I shower every other day, unless of course the 'non shower' day is super hot and I end up covered in sweat and I'm gross. But a regular day? Nah, it's fine.
100%. I like to shower every 6 days, because my hair doesn't like being showered every day, it only starts to get greasy on day 4 or 5, but I still wash my armpits etc. with my flannel and soapy water every day. I think a lot of people that shampoo their hair every day are making it more brittle
I completely agree, personally I shower or bathe 2-3 times a week and only wash my hair once or twice a week. There is daily washing of face/armpits/genitals with a flannel just to freshen up, but my skin and hair feel a lot healthier than they did when I used to shower daily.
I agree the most with the person that said it really depends on the person.
Everyone should shower often enough to not stink or look visibly dirty, and enough to feel clean and good.
However much that is, depending on the person.
But showering doesnt imply hair washing? 😅
When divorce was legalized, mysterious deaths and disappearances became a lot less common. It wasn't that people were more committed to marriage, it was that forensics weren't a thing.
It was people had alternatives to murder ☠.
@@UniDocs_Mahapushpa_Cyavana🤦♂️
Correlation is not causation
And we may be seeing the opposite now, when the financial cost of being convicted of murder is much less than the financial cost of being divorced.
Unpopular opinion: antihomeless architecture is just a town or city's way of say "we can't manage money, no seriously vote us out we don't got this"
That's only an unpopular opinion amongst politicians & a handful of "I got mine, screw you" types
Based but not unpopular
I never had a problem with homeless people. It made me sad, but never bothered me.
But once my cousin came visit me in my house. In the end of the day she told me she was going to leave earlier, because she had bad memories of the homeless people in the street near the main train station harassing her.
The city hall doenst have much control over housing policy in my country. The main reason for our housing crisis are government policies, inefective bureaucracy and the eurocrisis (that bankrupted most national construction firms reducing housing construction to historical lows).
The city hall is not going to be able to reduce homelessness that much, it can create municipal scale programs, but that would never be up to scale. Homelessness can only be fixed by deep structural reforms, with the help of the central state and it's legislative power (we are a centralized nation).
Sometimes, anti-homeless architecture protects the people, people like my cousin. (edit: at least in very public spaces like train stations, bus terminals, hospitals, party areas, colleges, highschools, nursing homes and central urban public parks that are open to the public during the nigth that are in plazas, so they may eed to be crossed by necessity)
W opinion
I once read something that made me understand anti-homeless architecture. "If you're against anti homeless architecture you've never lived in a place with a homelessness problem."
I am lucky to live in a part of a city where homelessnes isn't a problem but reading that quote made me think of the parts where homelessnes is a problem and... yeah I get it now. A lot of homeless people are alcoholics, drug addicts or have mental health issues. Beeing around them can be uncomfortable or even dangerous and anti homless architecture pushes the homeless away from large public spaces.
It is sad that these people can't get the help they need but a lot of them don't even want any help (someone I know worked in a place that takes care of the homeless) but the anti homeless architecture helps the non homeless majority.
It doesn't solve the problem but it makes it better for the non homeless
laughing hysterically at the idea that being able to check someone's phone whenever you want means they're not cheating. Nah bruh, it just means that if they're cheating, they're smart about deleting the evidence before they come home.
Cheaters gonna cheat.
Or that they have a whole second phone you don't know about.
My parents had me to "save" their marriage, and then stayed together "for the kids" but my older siblings and I were constantly caught in the crossfire. Staying together for the kids is incredibly selfish when both parents have zero emotional intelligence.
If anything, parents should DIVORCE for the kids. It was one of the big reasons my mom decided to divorce her abusive (now) ex.
it might scar the child more to find out there whole childhood was a lie
Yeah I'm honestly glad my parents got divorced when they did. It took emotional baggage and financial strife off my dad. And I didn't have to grow up with a mom who didn't really care about me. And would rather have just had a bestie to go shopping with. And not a kid.
As much as I still hold animosity towards her. I'm 100% better off with them apart.
That is literally my parents (not the marriage part they actually *loved* eachother)
I also want to add because it seems swept under the rug: if you're having issues like not communicating effectively or having problems budgeting or managing your time...
WHY WOULD YOU ADD A WHOLE OTHER HUMAN INTO THE MESS?
"we never see each other." Sure, add a baby that requires so much attention and will force you to work in shifts. That'll fix it.
Letting a jealous partner look through your phone won't help. They'll just go from "you're hiding something on your phone" to "well it must be on your laptop then" to "oh, so you're cheating at work/the gym/the grocery store" to "why are you and your bestie always hanging out" to whatever they think up next.
Edit: Ok, so he said almost the same thing as soon as I finished typing.
was relieved to realize "he" in the edit was the click and not a paranoid partner who just accused you of cheating
Yep. The first, it will be about gadgets, and the second, it will be about "wrong glances" and "wrong touches".
The smart cheater will delete the evidence from their browser before you have a chance to look at it. The really smart cheater will accuse you of cheating before you even get around to suspecting them.
I fully agree even tho my partner and I share the same password for our phones. It simply happened out of convenience, we tend to watch videos, play music or google stuff when we’re together and using whichever’s phone was the closest just made sense. Do we ever go behind each other’s back to snoop on our phones? No (well not that I know of), we trust each other to not go through what’s more private (like conversations with our friends) and we trust that if we did, there wouldn’t be anything bad to be found. We’ve had a couple of “I’m feeling insecure in this relationship because of ___” talks, which have been so much more reassuring/reaffirming than going the act of snooping through a phone could ever be. That said, this is what works for us. I definitely believe that keeping your phone private from your partner is just as healthy. It all about establishing boundaries and building trust by respecting said boundaries.
39:34 In fairness to people like me who are raised by handy parents but aren't directly taught, modern appliances are also more likely to be designed in such a way that you can't just pop them open to fix whatever may have broken in the first place. It is, of course, a case-by-case basis, but companies have been pushing aggressively for business models where their products cannot be fixed if they should break, or can only be repaired by places that are considered certified (see John Deere and Apple for examples).
These companies might as well have Batman lvl contingencies with how much of a liability a simple shipping accident can be
@@notproductiveproductions3504 I'm the lead of a delivery department of a major appliance retailer and let me tell you I genuinely am so upset by how most vendors package their crap. I've had to reorder things like shower walls, tubs, tiles, ECT MORE THAN ONCE because they keep coming in damaged and then I am the one that has to tell the customer and inevitably and rightfully so they're angry but I have no control on how it comes in. The only thing I can do is click the reorder button 😭😭😭
Story time with Shini!
I married my spouse at 19! My spouse was 25. We were active duty military. I medicaled out. My spouse served while I was a stay at home…. 17.5 years 7 pregnancies 3 living children and new careers later…. Divorce was ALWAYS an option. Still is!!! Communication styles aren’t universal!! Therapy isn’t cheap and many “cultures” (IE religions and geographical cultures, etc) look down or fully oppose reaching out for help on building a strong relationship. Divorce much like abortion isn’t right for everyone…. But when they are legal…. They save more lives then they end.
Hot take:
If someone is a traditional person who thinks everyone should be married and they oppose marriage therapy/counselling, they're not a conservative, just a fkn idiot 😁
Well said!
I am not against the availability of divorce at all, but I do think a non-insignificant portion of population are too quick to abandon their marriage, especially mentally.
And by this I'm _not_ saying there aren't any people who hold on to their marriage when it's basically dead already.
I think too many people are pressured into marriage, either by society, family, or their to-be spouse.
@@TheRawrnstuff It's too easy to get married, that's the problem.
Perfectly said
My parents had a very amicable divoce when I was a kid and honestly, it was the best decision they made. They both knew if they tried to force themselves through the marriage, it would just become worse and affect my brother and I. They are still each others' best friends and love each other very much, but that positive relationship has only been able to flourish because they decided to divorce when they realised they were no longer compatible as a couple.
So much of this. So many times you see the "stay together for the kids" but that just hurts the kids as it creates an unhappy home environment. It is better to see two parents happy but separate then together and unhappy
Yep. My parents split when I was a toddler. They still work together and even though I live with my mom, I see my dad often. I don’t think I would have as good of a relationship with either of them if they had stayed together
I also feel like people arguing that people "just divorce if things get too hard" neglect to acknowledge that divorce isn't exactly an easy process most of the time. It's as big a life change as getting married, just in reverse. And often it's potentially a more complicated change, because you need to untangle finances and arrangements, sort out custody for children, find an agreement who gets the cat (or whatever), splitting up assets or real estate etc. .. and emotionally you're giving up on something you initially thought would last forever, possibly you also may need to face some hard truths about yourself or your (ex) partner etc. etc. People who decide to split in the overwhelming amount of time do it for a good reason, one that justifies the laborious and long process that is divorce.
@@augustaseptemberova5664Divorce is still the easy way out, because the alternative is a miserable life with someone you hate. The people who have a problem with divorce are either
A) Domestic abusers who don't like that it gives the person they abuse a way out.
B) People who have never dealt with an abusive partner.
C) People who regret not divorcing or didn't get the chance to and are jealous that other got what they wanted.
@@wta1518I mean I guess. But mostly divorce still isn’t an easy process. So even if it’s easier it still isn’t easy.
Also in the situations where it’s used, it’s more like: “oh so you went into one fight. And now you want divorce?” That’s usually the perspective those people have, because they downplay other people views and problems, and think they are the only ones with proper judgement.
It is also why I would like to add the category of: “only when it’s THIS bad.”
Who thinks it’s okay to divorce in case of an abuser or a cheater, but in any other instance will say that “people just aren’t willing to work on their relationships” no matter how long the couple has been together, or how many issues they have had.
For the "Watching someone playing video games can be different from playing it because it's so different", I definitely agree. To give a personal example that puts it into perspective a little, I'm a writer and an artist. Yeah, I could go write/draw my own stuff, and I frequently do, but I also like to see other people's creativity. Just because I technically have the ability to write or draw it myself doesn't mean I have the creativity or understanding to come up with the idea.
100% agree. Especially with open world games, like Botw, where you could go and do anything. I watched a few people; one actually followed the story hints the NPCs gave, while another one just wandered around until something interesting happened. Even with games like Pokemon, where the story is fixed, it's entertaining to me, because they may use Pokemon I wouldn't normally use, or strategies, or even establish Nuzlocke rules for themselves.
I really hate people who go on about “uuuuh why do you watch people play the game and don’t play it” because there is a variety of reasons that could be the case, such as watching to get an idea of you want to play it or not, maybe you need an idea of how to play it or get past a stage or you simply can’t play it due to not having a device that came handle said game
Oh, I have such horrendous hand-finger coordination, so playing games with controllers or multiple buttons are a bit struggle for me! Like I struggle so much it stops being fun, it's no longer about being good or even decent, but actually getting progress😮💨
I heard many stories of partners who accused their significant others of cheating and became extremely controlling and paranoid only for it to be the partner who was cheating in the first place. it's kind of like hypocritical guilt or maybe they want to find their significant other cheating to justify their own cheating or sense of control like hey I can sleep with other people but you can't
It's actually textbook projection spawned from guilt. They project their sins onto their partner to assuage their own guilt.
Yep, absolutely. Can't stand this type of hypocrisy! My father did this and had the nerve to force me to be his spy. My mom was loyal, but it turns out he was the one cheating.
@@kaelin_cherisethat's what I was going to say. It's called "projection". It a very common thing abuser amd manipulators do. My kids dad (and other abusers in my life, not all romantic partners,) have tried to use it on me all the time. Like when I got pregnant with our 2nd child, he tried to tell everyone he knows this one isn't his because I'm out f-ing every guy I can...Until one of his friends and our next door neighbor finally had enough and loudly exclaimed "HOW?! She never leaves the house!" And we were living with his parents at the time, his mother being disabled and always home herself, wp it isn't even like I could sneak someone over. Meanwhile I had to walk like almost 10 miles at 8 months pregnant in a large city I'm not familiar with (and unknowingly walked through a VERY bad part of the city,) on an over 100°F day (about 38°C) because he refused to take me to one of the appointments for the pregnancy. He said it was because he doesn't want to drive in the city because pot holes when in reality he was in that city seeing another woman. Meanwhile I had to explain to the doctors why I was dripping in sweat and so physically tired while also convincing a child services agent why they shouldn't revoke my parental rights before my child was even born. Thankfully after all that the hospital was able to arrange a transport ride for me home.
The reason marriages lasted longer back in the day, young man, was because marriage was one of the few ways for women to survive. Here in the United States, married women didn't have the right to a bank account separate from her husband until I started elementary school.
The rise of independent women means the freedom to know what kind of marriage you want.
Found this in a Forbes article: It wasn't until 1974, when the Equal Credit Opportunity Act passed, that women in the U.S. were granted the right to open a bank account on their own. Technically, women won the right to open a bank account in the 1960s, but many banks still refused to let women do so without a signature from their husbands.
Yeah and that's why the red pill crowd wants divorce to be more difficult again, because they KNOW that no woman in her right mind would stay with them if she had a choice.
And also because divorce was illegal + all marriages were confessed in churches, and divorce was treated as a sin. People were just afraid to receive public hate and prison, so they were forced to be together. Especially when most marriages weren't consensual but arranged by parents.
People conveniently forget that it was a different world, as in people hadn't fought and died to give rights to women yet lol
This. Here in Germany a woman wasn't allowed to work if her husband was against that till the 70s.
My father had affairs through most of his life. Once he even went to a health resort with another woman - when my mother was told about this by a "friend", she went there and there was a big blowup. But she didn't divorce him - she had five children (2 under 10yo) and hadn't worked since they married.
Moreover to the last opinion: there are a lot of things that the average person should NOT try to repair themselves, even with internet tutorials. I'm an electrician, and I generally get nervous with the idea of homeowners doing their own electrical work, mainly because I know how dangerous electricity and bad wiring is. It's very easy to make a mistake that can burn your house down. So if you're not comfortable doing certain repairs safely, hire a professional. And while I'm kind of a handy individual (I can do a lot of my own maintenance and repairs on my house or vehicle), I'd still hire a plumber, mechanic, or other tradesperson for problems that are out of my depth.
I'm with you on hiring a professional, if you're out of your depth.
I also think that there's at least two major hurdles in the way for people: 1) The cost of hiring is very high compared to the wages of those who need to hire and B) the act of finding and hiring a professional can be complicated and frustrating.
For me, my skills just lie elsewhere, and there's so much hidden time-investment in hiring. I am not saying it's a good idea to DiY everything, I'm just saying I can see how some people would just say Fuck-It and try, even if they should not.
Rule of thumb: a self taught electrician is just as trustworthy as a self taught martial arts instructor, and that instructor is running a scam
Yeah my partner said there's plenty of things he can do himself, but he will NOT touch plumbing or electrical work. Doing that wrong can kill you, so you need to leave it to the pros.
"Pain isn't a flavour" was my favourite of these. I laughed so hard, and would absolutely have given an upvote. I say this as someone who loves spicy food, and grows my own hot peppers.
my spice-loving ass was laughing and fuming at the same time
I don't like spicy food, cause all of my body is sensitive, but I can add some spice to the dish. I love Asian cuisine but it becomes a problem when I want to choose an interesting dish. It can have 1 level of spice but it's a high chance it will be too spicy, cause Asian restaurants have different perception of spiciness from mine.
Deltarune disagrees
Lol, I will suffer through the spice if I find a dish really tasty. I can handle it up to a certain level before I reach for a milkshake.
I wouldn't say that spice isn't a flavor because there is no doubt that adding some spice changes a whole dish. Brings out different parts of the meal/food
i agree that we should normalise people being single and child free for longer! if you haven’t found the one at 20 then why should you have kids or marry? that’s absurd
Agreed. Your 20's and getting on your feet as an adult is hard enough already! I got married in my mid-30's in 2011. By that time we had enough life experiance necessary to know what we wanted in a partner and a household and could match those dreams really well to each other.
Because women "lose their value" or chances of having a family
Yeah like 20s is ridiculous
People aren’t even adults (biologically not legally) at that age
And even if they are adults, they may not prioritize it or be interested at all
100% agree, I'm 39, have been in a relationship for 12 years, neither of us want to get married. Why get the government/church involved on our relationship? Why spend insane amounts of money on a single day of celebrating our relationship? and if we end up splitting up we've already agreed, the person that paid for each item decides who gets to keep it (the car being the exception since we both paid towards it but I have stated she could keep it because I could buy a bicycle temporarily where as she couldn't because she cannot ride one), if we were married there would be divorce lawyer fees, the way we are no excess money will be needlessly spent.
On the being child free point, I agree again, we have no children. I am convinced I would be a terrible father (not in a bad way like abusive or neglectful just not able to impart good advice or be dependable in times of need) and have therefore never wanted children, my partner has her own personal reasons for also not wanting children but I'm not going to share her personal reasons on the internet.
I think that if you're adamant you want to get married, you should have been in a relationship around 3 years to make sure you're good together before even considering marriage.
Not part of your point, but I also think the phone checking in a relationship is down to personal preference. I trust my partner 100%, we know the unlock codes to each others phones/computers etc. but we feel no need to check each others phones, for us it's just convenience. Instead of "pass my phone so I can do XYZ" I can just ask her to do it for me if I'm not near my phone and vice versa.
Yeah...some old people are just so pressed of wanting grandchild, they didnt care if you found someone suitable or not
The whole "pain isn't a flavor" post made me smile because I grew up on the U.S./Mexico border where chili powder was a common ingredient in the candies and foods. One of my favorite candies to this day is basically just chili powder+salt+sugar (Lucas is the brand) so spicy was always just part of the experience. The biggest selling point was that that kind of candy was dirt cheap, and stored easily in a fun container. As the second youngest of six in a poor family, being able to get candy for an amount that I could dig out of the couch was incredible! Another one of my favorite candies (Pica Fresa and the like) was only 5 cents per candy in gas stations, and thats in the early 2010's! Me and a group of my friends would spend maybe ten, fifteen minutes checking couches and cup holders for stray coins and then buy as many as we could. The biggest mistake the poster seems to have made was jumping straight into the hot end of the spicy spectrum when they should have started with something mild and flavorful. Sriracha isn't a flavor I would use on everything, its got a lot of heat and can be hard to enjoy if you don't already have a taste for it.
Those candies were always sweet and salty to me lol
An old literature teacher of mine talked about the word Fuck being in a book she read when she was younger. Parents were up in arms over it but her response was “He is being eaten by a shark! He’s in enough pain to say whatever he wants!” Or smth
That's kinda my vantage point. There's the adage "swear like a sailor". Well, in my house it was "swear like a firefighter". Because, when they're on the job, it can be pretty fitting to swear when you're fighting for your life and others', can't it?
I'm not one to swear, but I will say "shit" if I really mean it. If you hear me say "fuck" you KNOW things are serious. So, don't devalue the meaning of these emphasis words. Not everything is that serious that it needs to be peppered with it. (Your everyday life is not that important.)
@@Ayverie4well if i say shit in my life to myself is it still "over used?" Who am i upsetting?.... Like when i stub my toe, I'm not fighting for my life but god damn does it hurt, so shit or fuck expresses my feelings there.
Still, i don't think it is that serious when a friend says shit when things don't work out.. i understand that in professional settings you should absolutely avoid it... But in your everyday life, i see it as smth not that big to be angry about
@@Ayverie4 I also do not swear on a regular basis (have been known to say shit on occasion when an expletive was necessary). Managed to stop a room by returning from my afternoon run once on a Friday (I drive a school bus) and announcing "this has been a day from Hell". Dispatcher, manager, and 3 other drivers all stopped their conversations and looked at me. I didn't even consider that swearing but it got attention that I wouldn't have gotten if I used the language that was common to everyone around me.
@@Ayverie4if I'm serious I say worse things than just swearing
Fun fact: "gym" is derived from the Greek word for naked, so the folks wearing buttmunching / freeballing attire are actually going back to the roots of gym culture, as it was.
upvoted because i don't know if this is true but it's funny
@@mjamin9124The original Olympics by the Greeks was done naked, so yeah.
'Scrolled down specifically to find this. XD
gym is from the word gymnasium which means to train naked, the gymnasiums were places where people could train (naked or with a loincloth) learn wrestling and even debate about phylosophy or academics in general (because ancient greeks used to debate about philosophy and academics almost everywhere)
source: i am greek and i was thought those things in middle school which in greek is called γυμνασιο (gymnasio) which is a little fun fact on its own
Yeah that sounds like the ancient Greek
One of the most frustrating things about that divorce take is that we improved lives by making it easier to get. Why? Because most abuse cases have no evidence that can be presented to judgemental people. Places where you have to prove abuse have a high rate of abusers gaslighting and lying to keep a hold of their victim to keep abusing them while courts and people judge the victim for so much as trying to come forward let alone trying to escape. Many of these abusers act so sweet. They fake who they are until they are confident their victim is trapped, then everybody blames the victim for not knowing they were marrying an abuser. “You should work it out before marriage” disregards how many people hide who they really are, then immediately abuse their partner once the vows have been spoke. But of course only behind closed doors so there are no witnesses to corroborate the victim’s claims.
Possibly unpopular opinion? The rate being judged as “it needs to be reduced” is a judgmental perspective and it doesn’t need to be “reduced” factors surrounding divorces need to be reduced. Nobody wants to put in the effort or money to do that, they just want to blame divorcees (including those not at fault for said divorce and victims of cheating/abuse)
Also, it was good to have "no-fault-divorces". Going through humiliating details of a marriage life is bad for the participants and bad for the justice system.
In my opinion, the legal side being relatively easy is not a problem, but raising kids to honour their marriages, keep what been agreed to and being flexible and eager to listen and to find compromise is still a great thing. The goal is to become a better person, regardless if you marry or not (and here I include common law marriages).
I think the stone analogy is quite good. Me and you have sharp edges, and we are irregular and not so shiny. We need grinding and polishing, but that's gonna hurt a bit. We agree to stay until we are pretty and shiny xD It still needs skill, but it's more or less gonna happen, if we share a life together.
Marriage is a union. Union is one kind of contract? Deliberate deception in contract making should always nullify the contract?
I do think it's complicated, but right or wrong don't always go hand in hand with legality. State is not a moral police, it dwells more in practical consequences of actions.
Sorry for the long message 😅
The existence of false reports makes it hard to not be judgemental even the mere accusation of abuse is enough to ruin someone's life
It’s weird to blame teenagers for dating older people when obviously the older person can tell the teenager no and not date them. Regardless of how you feel about a Taylor Swift currently it was actually gross all of the comments she got when she was younger and dating older men. Why were all of those older men dating her and why did they not get any backlash?
Sad and unfortunate, yes, but not at all unusual. You'd be amazed at how often the focus is shifted away from "creepy-ass 40 year old dating a teenager" and onto "Wow what was that teenager thinking??" It's adjacent to "But did you see what she was wearing?"
@@DrThemoWormexactly. Everyone shames teen moms but yet most of the fathers of their child are 25 or older. No one questions the guy, only shames the girl.
Obviously they were dating her because they like their women like they like their apples:
Fresh off the branch 🤢🤢
As to why they weren't the ones getting the comments: Jealousy 🤮🤮
This is a very hot topic on the polish internet for a number of reasons and the whole situation has taught me basically just that most men (or at least a majority of those who share their opinions) genuinely do not see anything wrong with dating underage girls other than it being illegal. I've literally seen tens if not hundreds separate people in the last few weeks claiming that dating a 19 year old is absolutely fine and desirable, in every situation, and that's it's okay to have sex with a 16 year old because it's legal. It's sickening. I never was the one to generalize and hate on all men, and I don realize it's not literally _all_ men but it's clearly a very high percentage
Because it's always the women's fault, duh! Even if they were possible victims! (Sarcasm)
Here's the thing with relationships... if it truly eats you up inside that you can't be aware of every single facet of your partner's life, from their private conversations with friends to confidential details related to work, then maybe you need to look inward to find the roots of the problem.
A relationship should be between people who compliment each other. A relationship should allow two people to exist in symbiosis without compromising either party's integrity. This mindset that "if you love the person you would have nothing to hide" only serves to promote an unhealthy dynamic where one, or both, of you will be made to feel guilty simply for wanting privacy.
"dating is like being dehydrated. women are in a swamp and men are in a desert" god this is so true!
Eh, depends on the woman. If they're super unattractive, or if they're neurodivergent, or if they're LBTQ(left g out for obvious reasons), it's a different story.
For myself, SURE plenty of men would message me, but once they actually read my bio where I stated I was asexual, they were out SO fast. Too many dudes only wanna fuck.
Thankfully my bf said "Okay, I don't have much of a sex drive anyway" 😂
I think it applies to pretty girls and average or below guys though, most girls on dating apps are very pretty, compared to guys and there are barely any ugly (not just fat) girls. I
@@Nakia11798 yeah I'm aromantic, no way would I hit someone up who is ace 😂
@@analogueappleshonestly girls on those apps tend to just be better at taking photos vs many of the guys. A lot of guys put very little effort into theirs. I don't mean they have to pit on make up and get a bunch of filters, bit many really don't pit much effort. The number of times I've seen pictures where they just use an old photo of them with their ex bit just scribble out her face is...Something I see way tok often. Like at least try. I don't have any make up or filters and all my pics are selfies (because I have no friends and no social life lol) but I at least tried. Like the one a lot of guys seem to like the most is one I randomly decided to take while sitting in my car (I was waiting on someone so I wasn't driving,) while on the app and decided I should have more than one or two pics up. The other one of me guys seem to also like is another one I randomly decided to take for tinder while I was on it while taking a walk in the park because I had a couple hours to kill before my kids got home from school.
Or a lot of guys will have no photos at all. (Amd not just the ones looking for anonymous hookups or because they're in a relationship and don't want someone their so knows to see that it's them.) Or they're just really bad photos. Like honestly the best ones they can use would be a nice selfie, maybe have one or two tbay someone they know take of just them, then have a couple group ones of them with their buddies. (It's been shown that having photos of you with you friends or family and whole out doing something significantly improves your chances. Just have one or two of just you to make it easier for them to know which person is you.)
Because... women stink?
My first ex husband refused to work and started doing drugs while I worked and went to college. When I tried to leave him, he shot a gun at my head. That was 4 yrs of dating and 1 yr of marriage almost 20 years ago.
My 2nd husband was great at first, but after a few yrs started working less and less until he was barely working while I was working overtime and then started cussing me out in front of our daughters over every little thing wrong with the house.
Our lives revolved around his female gym partner’s work schedule. He couldn’t remember our daughters’ Girl Scout events that I put in his phone calendar and was texting him updates about, but he knew every detail of her schedule and day without hesitation.
We dated a year and I left a couple months shy of our 16 yr wedding anniversary.
I hope you have found happiness regardless. Your daughters have a great role model for strength, it seems.
@@DangerSquiggles I’ve had a couple bad relationships after their dad, but I was in counseling all through the last one and am still in counseling now.
I finally found a great guy with healthy boundaries. He’s his own person with his own whole life and doesn’t rely on me for all of his needs. He even cooks, cleans, and works harder than I do! We were friends for 9 years before we started dating so we had a good base to start from as well.
Counseling has even helped me talk about my marriage with the twins’ dad without breaking out into hives or having a panic attack.
@@DangerSquiggles oh! I even have the girls in counseling because I’ve noticed their dad gaslighting them and they were being bullied at school so now they’re full of self doubt and really self conscious. It absolutely breaks my heart and I refuse to let them follow my path.
Damn what shit-heads. I hope you live a good life now!
Sounds like a nightmare.
Wish you the best for your, and your daughters, future!
I admit, I hate playing horror games myself because of my anxiety, but watching other youtubers or streamers play them is incredibly entertaining to me, it's like an interactive horror movie that also changes with each person that plays.
Playing horror games with a group is often funny or entertaining as well.
Quite a few of these opinions are brought with pretty solid arguments and reasoning. I wish everyone could have that logical approach to debating over subjects instead of just turning it into a flame war.
I think this is just the illusion of the video, click will mostly read the good comments with arguments and reasoning since those are interesting and leave the flame war unread
Yeah. The first 2 controversial posts listed i absolutely dont agree with overall, but i do see the points of the respective OPs.. and id probably upvote the posts if id seen them, because they are "ACTUAL" hot takes so to speak.
...many people tend to play it safe when asked for hot takes, cuss theyre afraid to get burnt... like im not comfortable with doing them anymore because ive gotten burnt.
@@moritzbayer5658 That's what I figure, though I wish the flaming wasn't so common to the point that people can just add fuel to the fire without a second thought. That's just how it is though, I get it, but I don't have to like it.
The whole "its lazy/deliberate incompetence to not know how to make repairs" really pisses me off honestly. People who are well versed in how to make repairs always neglect to factor in both the cost of tools and the cost of making mistakes when you're learning. I have friends who grew up in houses where they were constantly doing renovations and fixing things, so they always had access to a full set of all the tools they could need. I grew up in a single parent household where money was tight. We only owned the absolute basic tools and only did repairs where the cost for messing up was low. If a shirt needed a patch, cool, no problems, you only risk further damaging the shirt. If you try and fail to do plumbing repairs, you can cause additional damage that would cost even more to have fixed by a professional (and probably wasted parts/material in the process). For a lot of things, when you don't have a lot of money to risk wasting, it's more cost effective to just have a professional do it right the first time
Not to mention abstract skills that either can’t be taught or must be taught in person, like certain kinds of analyzing “what’s the problem with this?” Or they don’t have the gentle touch or relevant dexterity to carry out the repair.
Other times, it’s perfectly teachable (or independently learnable), but requires specific knowledge that’s not practical to find via search. Such that some graphical issue that’s hard or impossible to turn into search keywords is caused by a particular thing. Or weird error messages: I’m a programmer/software developer, so I know how the different parts of a computer are assembled (logical view, not physical assembly). A number of the blue-screen error I’ve seen are like “okay, I understand why that caused a crash, but why did you try to do that? while others were like “…the fuck?” Examples:
IRQL_NOT_LESS_OR_EQUAL: okay, that happened, which means bad state, so system crash. REFERENCE_BY_POINTER: the hell you mean that’s why I’m looking at the blue screen of death?
VIDEO_SCHEDULER_INTERNAL_ERROR: oookay, so something I’m doing made that break…
VK_ERROR_DEVICE_LOST: why Detroit crashed: okay, GPU probably loose.
Oh, and there are some things where you really just ought to pay for a professional, like your home’s wiring.
In… probably Freshman year, one of my dorm mates had a laptop charger that wasn’t working. I examined it, and determined that (likely due to an impact) the outer metal sleeve had been partially unseated from the rubber, such that it stuck out too far for the pin in the center to make contact, and possibly was no longer parallel with said pin. So I got a pair of pliers (both for grip and because, IIRC, my tool dexterity is better than my finger dexterity), and carefully pushed it back into place. Boom, worked.
Exactly. And now with so many things falling under 'planned obsolescence' because companies want to make more money, it's even more difficult (on purpose) to fix certain types of things. iPhone screens shatter super easily if you try to replace the battery (I remember when it was easy to just replace a phone battery anyway, now you need a whole new set of tools and know-how). In my last car, everything in the engine was tetris'd in so crazily I would have to take apart multiple things to get to the part I needed to fix, which increased the chance of making a mistake. So it was safer to pay someone who knew what they were doing get the job done. I'm all for fixing things vs replacing, but so many companies are going out of their way to make that the worst/most expensive/riskiest option, and that really makes me mad.
Yea really. People who say stuff like that are stupid
Why schools should teach kids basic home repair skills and tool use. Nobody should be locked out of this because their parents couldn't afford the tools to fix their belongings.
Seriously, and as someone who never lived in a home that my family owned we also were not expected to do those kinds of repairs. The landlord probably would have had a fit if we tried to fix an issue ourselves. And I bet there are plenty of skills that these "repair gurus" DON'T have because it wasn't useful to them, but they would be pissed if someone called them lazy and incompetent for I dunno... not knowing how to sew clothing from scratch or how to blacksmith or how to code a website or something. Society NEEDS people with different skills, that's how the whole damn things functions. No one person can be good at everything, and that's NORMAL.
for the "taking pictures of yourself is narcissistic" one. i have self-esteem issues, including about how my body looks, along with varying levels of gender dysphoria day-to-day. i hated any picture of myself and had almost none, except for things like school pictures and ones where i was part of a group. but i definitely didn't have a single selfie. i decided, sometime during the pandemic i think, that on the rare occasion that i felt good about myself i would take a picture of myself, so on the bad days i could look back on them and maybe not feel as horrible? and, well, it worked a lot better than i expected it to! i still have dysphoric days and body image issues, i'm not magically "fixed" or anything. but the number of days that i can't stand to look in the mirror has declined and i have more pictures of myself than i've ever had before. and along with other improvements in my life, i think i can say i'm a lot happier these days =)
3:10 the fact that lawmakers in America are trying to make it harder to divorce in certain states gives me chills.
I like to think they aren’t anti divorce, they are pro murder. If the only way out of a marriage for a woman is the death of her husband, there will be many more “unexplained” deaths of married men.
It’s creepy! I totally agree! If someone’s trapped in an abusive relationship they should be allowed to divorce! Same as the abortion issue. If a child got raped, they need an abortion. Or if the fetus is dead abortions should be allowed.
The shower one actually has some ground because even actual doctors recommended shower once every other day im pretty sure they say it's to keep your microbiome safe and not constantly washing them away because youre microbiome is actually the first defense against outside infections
It's also because your immune system needs to come in contact with new diseases to keep developing ways to fight them or it becomes weaker and might even start targeting innocuous substances. Basically, some research suggests allergies might be caused by us being to clean and in to sterile of an environment.
your skinn is slightly acidic. soap is alkaline and destroys the acidic barrier (your skinnn kind of needs). and if you don't have increadably oily skinn... all over your body and not just in the face... going at it with soap every day will also dry it out and you will have to use a lot of body lotion. yea.. I've heard dermatologists rage about that. in the end it's really individual. everyone got to test out what's best for their own body.. but soap and washcloth for the smelly bits every day and a full on shower 3 or only 2 times a week (washing hair seperately if needed) can be a good way to go. I get the impression that people forget that you can wash yourself without having to take a full on shower. soap and washcloth. also PH neutral "soaps" (technickly they aren't soaps but they do the same job) are worth trying.
to be honest.. I don't think anyone I know showeres absolutely every day.
I thiiiiiiink it's closer to "don't use soap everyday", like you can just use clear water every other day, but I can't remember where I read that so take it with a grain of salt. In any case it depends a lot on the individual
Yep. I told my dermatologist I only showered twice a week and she just told me to keep it up because my skin was doing so much better.
27:20 I also think that a lot of the responses OP was getting when he questioned the girls who like dad bods are weighed down by the simple fact that physical preferences in a partner are inherently surface level and intuitive things, and therefore hard to justify with facts and reason. It's hard to articulate why one prefers, say, red hair or big breasts, so when you put people on the spot they grab the nearest possible justification, like "It's eye catching".
In reality, most preferences are just that and say nothing profound about the person that has them. However, many people are uncomfortable with the idea that their desires are arbitrary, so they make excuses for themselves.
For example, you might hear:
BEN: I've seen your post about tall girls. Why do you find tall girls more attractive by default?
ALICE: I dunno. They're powerful and they make me feel safe and protected.
BEN: You know being tall and being strong and good in a fight are two separate things right? And what if the goon has a gun? What about a short girl with a gun? Would the short girl be as attractive?
ALICE: ... I don't know. I guess. Maybe.
Yeah women simply aren't allowed to be 'shallow' even though dating is inherently discriminatory, meanwhile we're expected to not bat an eye when men say we should all have a dump truck ass held up by thick smooth thighs, mega milkers and a non existent waistline with all other features of the skinny persuasion💀
I think that's a bit of a dumb take. Physical attractiveness is needed in a relationship. If there's no physical attraction, all you can ever be is friends because nobody would sleep with someone they don't find attractive without feeling uncomfortable by it. I also don't see why you should say that someone's looks making you feel safe and protected is bad. Because in a good relationship you should feel safe, protected and more than anything comfortable.
Every relationship is a balance of liking the persons personality as well as having a physical attraction. It's basically your monkey brain going, those are good traits for the survival of the species, so I am in love and I will try to woo them for the rest of my life. Because survival of the species is the most basic instinct we got. We can't live forever, but as long as we got a kid, we technically have a continuing line to us. It's why those bloodlines where so important in the past. Because it matters to our instinct.
For example I got a partner now. We met online, without ever seeing each others faces. In the year that we chatted and spend time together, I was like, this guy meets all my emotional needs, which means he's my best friend. He's someone I can rely on. Yup. Then we both did a vid call. Saw him for the first time. And his looks where just all I wanted in a guy too. He was perfect in my eyes. Smaller than me, long hair to play with, cute glasses (everyone I know wears them so it's weird to see people without) hilarious taste in clothing that cheered me up instantly. So I asked him out. And now we've been dating for six years testing each other out. To see if we're better of being friends or better of being together in a relationship.
Dating should take time because it generally always starts with a physical interest cause that's the first thing you see. Invalidating physical attraction just kinda makes it sound like you've never dated in the first place.
@@junrobin9335 ...Have you ever heard of asexual people perchance? Because asexual people are a thing, many totally do date (for example, some asexual people can become physically attracted to people but require things like emotional attachment first, while others might not ever ever feel physical attraction or the desire for sex but may be willing to engage in/interested in the later with a romantic partner for the emotional intimacy) and... yeah. Just wanted to point out Ace people exist, can be quite happy in romantic relationships (even those involving sex) because what people want out of their relationships can vary a LOT, and while physical attraction is very important for most people, for others it's really a non factor.
Case in point: my Dad who was quite happily married to my mom until her death around a decade ago. He's ace and didn't identify as that until about a year ago: I was reading out loud about sexualities for 'trying to memorize terms to not be dumb or rude on the internet' reasons, and cue surprise when my 'not interested in all that stuff' Dad suddenly piped up with a 'Oh, that one sounds like me. Huh, didn't know there was a word for that' while I was half way through the asexual umbella catagories section, and from what I've gathered from asking more since he basically ended up in number of relationships because 1) people around kept assuming as a young man he'd date so he'd ask random ladies his age out because he thought that was how it worked, 2) people asked him out and he figured 'why not?' and 3) Some girls were interesting enough in other ways, like being clever or funny, that he thought 'is this attraction?' and asked them out.
No clue how he ultimately ended up with my mum still since prying any personal stories from him is like squeezing blood from a stone (at least I know mom's side of things was more standard judging from 'the amazing way he ate his sandwiches' stories she used to tell me as encouragement for me) but I have no doubts they were quite happy together and frankly, as someone also slowly coming to accept I'm probably under the aro/ace umbrella as well, I'd really kind of like to find a similar kind of relationship with someone out there myself one day, even if it'll probably be quite tricky to pull off (given the awkwardness of explaining the whole 'Hey IDK if I like you but you're cool and I'd like to date to see if I could' thing. Ugh. *buries head in hands over lacking the guts to do that personally* ...)
So yeah. Sorry about all the babble but just wanted to bring this stuff up because well, us aces aka those that don't 'do' the physical attraction thing exist, not all of us are sex repulsed (some like it, some are neutral, some will not touch with a 10ft pole - the reason there's asexual umbrella categories is varying stuff like this alongside the whole 'no attraction', 'can only feel attraction under such and such conditions' etc), and regardless of if we interested in the physical stuff or not, we can still have romance, dating, marriage and all that regardless.
The trick is just in finding potential partners who don't mind how slow we might be 'figuring things out', are willing to respect our boundaries, and understand that random things that might be normal/expected in other romances might be off the cards, pn top of all the usual 'can we actually stand being around each other in that way long term' things that every relationship out there has to deal with
@@FaisLittleWhiteRaven If you read the actual full post, you would have noticed me having demisexual traits. Meaning I value my emotional bond over physical traits, doesn't mean I don't have a type though. It just means it's less important.
As for me knowing ace people exist? Yeah I live with a few. I know damn well what that entails. They still got a type of people they prefer over others though. Doesn't need to be put into a sexual context. It only was in this post because I was talking about what a healthy sexual romantic relationship looks like excluding all the other types you mentioned, because there's not enough conversation about what those healthy relationships look like.
But you can take it out of the context too and broaden the aspects. Every day you walk down the streets or decide someone gets to be your friend you're judging people based on the concept of first impression.
That first impression is your survival instinct warning you of danger or a potential ally in your life. You can try to take the moral high ground all you want saying we don't do that, cause that's morally incorrect.
But honestly if you live your life without judging anyone, something I did up until my teens, means you're just gonna be an easier target for people with bad intentions. Actually I am the kinda person that had to learn those things consciously cause most people like me end up being the victim of crimes related to SA, murder and generalised discrimination more often than not. If I wasn't aware and taught about risks and red flags I might not even be here cause I would have definitely gotten into the van of some random dude to show him the way to where he needs to go.
I don't wanna be a number on the news and neither do you so you judge people to deem them okay or not okay. Even as an ace you're gonna do those things.
That "let them check your phone" thing reminds me of that recent story of a woman who was suspicious, went through her boyfriends phone, found nudes of another women, and stabbed him a bunch.
...They were pictures of her when she was thinner, she just didn't recognize herself. I don't think that guy would agree that letting her snoop was _helpful_ for their relationship
Yikes!
Sounds so fake. If a woman is gonna do anything while snooping is to analyse the shit out of what they find. No woman is not gonna recognise her own body, background, underwear, clothes, hair color.
What the fuck
That's tragic
I feel like if he agreed it would have actually saved him, because then he could have told her beforehand that they were old pictures of her and could have not been stabbed
I love that you can sort posts on Reddit by controversial…really take your mental health/inner tranquility into your own hands 😂😂
When you were discussing the addictiveness of predatory video games, it reminded me of a maxim one of my business professors told us years ago: If you don't pay for a product, you ARE the product. He meant that a lot of these games are free because they make money not by distributing the game, but by collecting and distributing YOUR info. I still think about that every time I look at a new "free" app and wonder if it's worth it.
Or they are designed to make money with the microtransactions. Anyway, I agree, that mostly games have a price tag always.
(Maybe excluding something like student projects, they might be free because they exist as a learning tool)
I think we should go back to games having a price (even if it's small), and getting rid of the style of pay-to-win games. And also owning stuff, like software, and not just a monthly license etc.
Äääh, I better stop before I get frustrated 🤣🤣
@@pohjanvanamoUsually it's both, microtransactions AND stolen info.
I just automatically assume that everyone- my bank, my doctor, the DMV, my vet, the grocery store and even the state and federal governments are selling my information these days whether I pay for a product or not.
My parents divorced when I was pretty young and it really irritates me the way people frame divorce (especially with kids). Yeah, I would've been so much happier if I was raised thinking love is a burden you lie about to save face 😮💨
my parents divorced when I was 2 because they started to argue. My childhood was probably much better because of it.(I live in the UK)
Same. My parents were better off divorced, especially since they were forced into marriage by my mother's parents because she got pregnant by accident.
The highest rate of divorce is, interestingly, amongst straight conservative couples over 40.
OMG. My parents (boomers) split after almost 40 years. My mom's friends were all asking how she did it. Some of my sister's peers are now getting divorced instead of dying together miserable.
I'm in the camp where my parents argued, and I wished they would have gotten a divorce. Being stuck in the middle of that toxic household really screwed over my childhood, kept me locked in my room all the time.
Worst part is, my brother is now married, and has 3 kids. His wife has cheated on him, multiple times, with the same guy, in their own house. I've always shot the idea that he should get divorced, but he says he won't do it because our parents didn't, and he looked up to my dad.
Really makes me feel for my niece and nephews.
Yeah, my parents divorced when I was 5. Once I was old enough to understand. I was very glad they divorced. My mother would have been awful for my dad. And we would have been in financial strife much longer with her spending problems.
She wanted a bestie to go shopping with. Not a baby.
Whereas with them divorced. Yes, it was hard for my dad. But.. I got to grow up with one very loving parent who had more room without being in a horrible relationship. I didn't have to grow up with fighting or bickering.
As much as I'm still bitter at my mother. I'm still greatfull they separated.
That anti homeless architecture thing - idk guys i used to live where homeless people slept under my window, they never pissed on my stairs or messed with my mail, they never broke into my house even though my door didn't latch properly. I thought of them as my outdoor neighbors and honestly they were friendlier than the housed neighbors i have now in the suburbs. Most homeless people are normal af and honestly not all crazy/disruptive folk you see on the street are necessarily homeless.
yeah i literally started yelling "YOUR NEIGHBOR RYAN IN THE APARTMENT BELOW PISSES IN THE STAIRWELL AND YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING!" Don't know if the guy has a neighbor named Ryan or if he lives in an apartment building, but the point stands. It's a really bad defense.
Most homeless people are genuinely good and kind. When they act crazy, it's because they are having a mental break from all the suffering they have to endure. It's the same phenomenon as most Karens, the stress got to be too much and they're lashing out like a caged animal. If anything, I think the suffering endured by homeless people makes them more compassionate. I remember hearing about a thing where a guy was giving money to people on the street, and the well off looking people were offended and acted rudely to the gesture, whereas the poorer looking people told him to keep it, because they know what it's like to go without, and don't want to take food from someone else's mouth.
@@ouroborosjormungandr5615Yeah, my friend was homeless for a month or so. They (her, daughter, & pets) weren’t even sleeping in the street. Just bounced around friends’ home, hotels, & sometimes slept in the car. She said that one month almost broke her psychologically.
I was listening to that entire rant and all I could think was 'there's a better solution to this: give them homes!'
@@schrodingerscat3741 The problem with that is in the reason those people are homeless in the first place. If it's really just a temporary lack of money, then yes, that would help. If they are homeless because they are in an addiction spiral, living on their own in a flat/house/whatever won't do them any good and they won't ever be able to keep to the conditions attached to the social housing. It's like the "teach a man to fish" thing. They don't need a home, they need to (re)learn how to have and live in a home.
Watching Click playing with plushies is probably what's pushing me to still buy myself a bunch and like em-
Something that annoys me quite a bit, the divorce rate isn't 50% for first marriages, it's closer to 20%, the reason the overall rate is around 50% is because those who get divorced once usually get divorced a second and third time too, dragging the rate up
Divorce Georg is an outlier and should not have been included in that survey
Something that annoys me is the perception that most divorces are caused by being miserable in the marriage. When the majority of women surveyed on their divorce, rate the previous relationship as a 7/10. People are getting divorced out of bordom far more often than they are out of being miserable.
@@Erowens98I guess it’s just better to divorce before you become miserable due to boredom
My uncle has been married six times. Can confirm
Not to forget that divorce rates are not "real" by their very nature: It's impossible to say how many of the marriages of THIS year will last til death, you can only say that after everyone of those people have died. So, about 80 years in the future. The divorces of today are about the marriages from years or decades ago. But there is a bias: Decades ago, a higher percentage of the population got married because it was the only acceptable way to live together (because of that, my parents got married after just 1 year of relationship in the 80ies). Today, many couples live together without being married.
So, for the marriage rate you compare the number of marriages and the number of divorces but because of those changes in society, it doesn't really say much.
Would be interesting to see the rate of divorces after a certain number of marriage years specifically (for example, how many marriages from 5, 10, 20 or 30 years ago have been divorced) and compare that rate with the same rate of earlier years.
Even "Hooking up is so much easier for women" goes nowhere to the extent lots of guys like to believe. Yes, it is not too hard to find a guy who is dtf - as long as you are willing to accept ANY guy, no matter how gross, how douchey, how much of a twat they are. This is when lots of guys like to argue, that women's "insanely high standards" cause everyone's problems.
At the same time, they completely ignore that they themselves wouldn't go home with just ANY woman either. Perhaps they truely don't notice since they simply blind out and ignore all women they deem too ugly/fat/old/demanding or otherwise unworthy. So at the end of the night, "there were NO women interested in them", even if they turned down a literal offer that same night.
However, this is not seen as those guys setting high standards because they don't think of themselves as actively dismissing undesirable women when they had never even seen them as "canditates" in the first place.
For them, considering only "the hot ones" is not a preference or a standard but their God-given right
I used to have a pretty high sexdrive in my 20s and the thing that frustrated me was that sure I got matches, but non of them where viable.
Like to bang a dude so many of them wanted me to _completely_ disregard my personal saftey or means of employment?
Like they couldn't just meet up for a beer with the probobility of banging, they wanted my company name to bang in the bathroom there, or my home adress before we meet etc (and start hurling abuse when I said no).
Like the amount of dudes that cockblock themselfs by having serialkiller vibes.
That's not actually a viable dating or hookup option.
No matter how horny I am.
They claim they want to get laid but they make themselfs unfuckable.
See it is more that they find its okay when they have insanely high standards but it's wrong for women to have any. The number of times I've seen memes where it's labeled about a woman being depressed about being lonely but mention how "80" (I don't know why but that's litterally almost always the specific number I see listed on various memes) asked them out or tried to have sex with them. Then they would get all upset when women would explain exactly what is wrong with that. (My favorite meme response that has become popular is the where it's like complaining that you're hungry when there is a Hotdog on the ground. These guys get pretty mad a that one and try so hard to refute it.)
I'm sure there's plenty of not very attractive women who'd love to get some attention ^.^
But you're right they don't see them as people.
They don't see attractive women as people either, but the difference is they want to bang the hot ones.
What gets me is how some people argue that more women than men hook up or women average higher body counts. Like assuming everyone is het.... who are they hooking up with?
Agree
The problem isn't divorce. It's premature marriage. Marriage barely adds anything except long-term benefits with insurance.
The funniest solution is to add an extra step. It goes single > Dating > Engaged* > Marriage. Engaged, in this funny bizarro world, is a legally required 3-5 year period where you receive all the legal benefits of marriage when it comes to taxes, insurance, etc. But you can end the engagement from either side at any point. During engagement you are also required to attend at least two couples therapy sessions a year. At the end of the legally required time, you both have to agree to get married.
Honestly love the idea!
That's literally handfasting. I'm pagan, and a lot of people in my religion do this for a year before marriage.
Okay, so your idea is a special kind of engagement? Like a forced time of being only engaged because it turns into a marriage? Honestly, should just be logical sense to wait this time until doing this step. I find it crazy how fast people marry.
If people actually declared themselves common-law, they'd have the legal stuff anyway.
People are just odd and claim themselves single despite being in a relationship like 3 years.
I read somewhere (can't remember where and you can take this with a grain of salt) that it takes about 4 years to really, truly know everything about a person. For me, waiting that long before even getting engaged seems reasonable. Marriage *IS* a very big commitment. You are committing yourself to one person, presumably for like. You live together, potentially share bank accounts (if that's what you want), and if you decide to have kids, are going to be parenting them together and responsible for their well-being and existence. Why the *hell* would anyone want to make that big of a decision after just a year? Part of me gets why; when two people are head over heels for each other, especially if they fell fast and hard, it's understandable to want to tie the knot right away. And I'm not saying these relationships never work 100% of the time. But to me it is absolutely bonkers to decide to make a lifelong commitment to each other after only being together for a year, maybe less. And some people start doing this at 19!! Like, no wonder you're 22 and divorced.You decided to MARRY someone after only knowing them for a year or less. People don't seem to realize the gravity of the situation until they're signing the divorce papers.
@26:00 I have a dad-bod... but it's from chopping wood, fixing the house (new floors, walls and similar) and similar so it's kinda both slightly soft and strong at the same time.
sadly the "dad-bod" sticker is going the same way as "curvy" did.
My problem with a lot of the talk online about dating is that it is exclusively straight and I can rarely, if ever, find advice on how to go about dating as a gay guy that isn't just get grindr, hookup and hope they want something more after that.
Honestly, I'm not surprised. Dating is hard enough for straight people; I can't imagine how difficult it is to find someone wanting a relationship that also happens to be gay. I hope you have better success in the future, dude ❤
You're sure to find a subreddit for that. Definitely give it a try.
i found most my luck just stumbling into fellow gays who happen to click, instead of going in with dating as a goal, but that works for straights as well, the "old" fashion of meeting someone via common interests and/or hobbies, becoming friends and possibly more, at worst you gain a new friend, at best a partner
As a bisexual woman, I agree with you. I'm completely okay to not date anyone, but still, I have a bad luck from both sides: you don't know is the guy not a creep, and is the girl non-straight as you or won't she do something bad with you if you out yourself (many homophobic women harass, stalk and do many horrible things to non-straight women).
I like to tell my friends when they complain about dating to "try dating as a queer, handicapped schizophrenic sometime," because it's not easy. But they know that it's just a joke. I don't think dating is easy for _anyone_ in our current culture. I can't speak for the past, but there's so much going on in everyone's lives now, and so much weird misinformation and/or strange stereotypes floating around on social media these days, I think it's a mess for all of us.
If it makes anyone feel better about the marriage statistics, they get considerably better if you only include 1st marriages. Turns out the majority of divorces are the product of serial spouses. In fact, every subsequent marriage after the first becomes increasingly likely to end in divorce.
So it's more that certain people are really bad at marriage but insist on doing it over and over again
WOAH
Almost like... people that were bad at selecting one partner are more likely to repeat their mistake.
I don't remember where but I read a story about a couple in the US who divorced so Medicaid would cover anti rejection medication for their sons transplanted organ
Even higher if they cheated...
Hi, I have an IT background. So the cell phone example. So funny thing about that, fixing a cell phone wouldn’t be an issue for any technical reason. What you referred to “melting abit of tin” that’s soldering and anyone these days who works on computers just has the tools for that. That’s standard equipment, nothing fancy.
The reason I couldn’t fix a cell phone would be because Apple has been very serious about designing their phones to not be repair friendly on purpose
I remember back when they had the thumb print scanners in the home button, there was a tape connector for that home button, and if you disconnected that… your thumb print scanner would cease to work. And because of how you had to disassemble it, it was very hard to repair without disturbing that connection. You could you just had to be so so careful. And if you did this you voided your warranty, and the thumb print scanner not working would be hard evidence that you did in fact go in there. Apple had special hardware to disassemble the phone properly, that’s how serious they were with this.
And each model is harder and harder to disassemble properly.
The reason I couldn’t confidently fix a phone isn’t the complexity of it, but the purposefully predatory engineering of corporations.
We’re even seeing this with laptops now, some laptop models are hell to repair.
I love lets plays cause it means I get to experience the story I like while doing something "more productive" at the same time, like hand sewing a skirt, planning my groceries, eating
and in some cases the player makes an outright audiobook out of it!
Also playing it yourself does not give you funny commentary!
Also some of us are just bad at video games
Playing video games does give you funny commentary if you think your own commentary is funny 😉
@@ZK-ib2wpthats kinda lonely.... And i speak from experience. Even if i like to talk to myself i still enjoy other peoples take on things
@@yaB0i_Hawkx it's lonely to play video games by yourself? Not if you're an introvert doing it to decompress from interacting with others, like me lol
For me Let's Plays are mostly about the personality behind it. When I watch channels like Markiplier or Vinesauce, most of the time it's for the guy playing the game. They're funny.
6:35 actually, a lot of doctors and dermatologists recommend that you don't shower every day because it kills the good bacteria on your skin that helps you to ward off sickness and infection, and showering also strips you of your natural oils and can cause permanent damage to skin. I shower usually 3-5 times a week, hair wash 2x a week. I wash the important bits (armpits, feet groin) almost every day, tho.
Edit: If I go larping, I have drag shows during the week, or if I work out, I shower after those types of events because I get dirty/sweaty, obviously.
This topic is highly interesting to me, do you know of any scholarly/research papers or studies on this?
I do 3-4 times a week, every second day really. Sometimes I have to shower more because of exercise or a hot day, and sometimes it's less because I lazed around all day and really it can wait one more.
@@wyattjohnson5181 I do you should be able to find lots of papers on Google scholar. It was a really popular topic during COVID-19.
I shower every two days, every time I shower I wash my hair twice with shampoo, and I wash myself thoroughly, I'm quite healthy and every time I try showering more I get sick and such
@@Nakia11798Yh, I relate
41:42 "imagine trying to fix a smartphone"
I used to do repairs on smartphones for myself and family back when I was in middle school or high school. You used to be able to do that at home with just a spare part (with included tools) and a RUclips tutorial. Now, I can't even take off the back of my phone to replace a battery. And I wouldn't dare try because it would void any warranty or insurance someone might have on it
you may find the company "Fairphone" quite interesting. I can take off the back cover and exchange the battery of my smartphone within seconds - just like with the old Nokia phones 20 years ago.
If necessary, I could even order a new camera module or even a new display from this company (I.e. the manufacturer of the smartphone) and exchange it myself - the instructions and the necessary screwdriver are also provided by them.
In my psychology class we discussed family dynamics, as it was part of our lesson.
Some kids had stable parents that still loved each other.
Others described the hardships of divorce.
But it wasn’t until I spoke up and said “my parents would honestly be better off with divorce” that a lot more kids agreed with that in their own lives.
Sometimes divorce is awful because the parents make it a battle. Sometimes they stay together because that’s how it’s meant to be. But *unpopular opinion* “staying together for the kids” is no better than a divorce itself.
I was under 3yo when my (teen parent) folks split up and Im so much better for it! Ive grown to know mom and dad as separate people, their personalities are soooo different, yet both are stubborn to the bitter end.. instead of gasoline & match, its like napalm & flamethrower. I just cant see how it ever worked to get me starting to hatch, these are two humans who were never meant to be together. My childhood wouldve been horrible, if divorce wouldnt have been an option. I seriously dont wanna even think about that possibility.. sometimes breaking up is just the smart move, *especially* for the kids sake.
Ps. Mom & dad were super civil about each other afterwards, I never heard them badmouthing or disrespecting the other in front of me. For that Im forever grateful, they did a solid for me.
Me and my ex split before our daughter was born.
I'm sure some people would consider us terrible for doing that, but it's way better than staying together "for the child", when it's obvious to everyone we don't belong together.
Especially because I found out I never want to have a relationship anyway.
My ex and I split before our son was born as well and it was the best thing for all 3 of us. We became quite close friends the last few years of his life (he died this time last year) and I still miss him every day and I know that wouldn't be the case had we stayed together. We would have resented or even hated each other if we tried to force it for our kid's sake.
I was part of a... I guess you can call it a family, that did the whole "for the kids" schtick and I wish they'd gotten divorced, or mom had tried sooner because it was a very toxic household and it helped no one, though our mother tried to make the best of things with her agoraphobia and his very overbearing attitude (and he did encourage her illness) so yeah... Divorce is obviously a thing that should be allowed and the anti divorce and pro marriage culture is part of the reason why I have no interest in dating since people sometimes simply change or drift apart but I'm honestly scared of the other times where they hide their true nature until after the vows are said, because a small chance is still a chance. Though I'm also my mother's child, but my anxiety issues are generally fairly manageable these days at least
42:00 this is also intentional. Apple is the biggest offender in the "anti-right to repair" space.
Seriously the lengths they go to inorder to force you to buy a new whatever are insane.
I'm not convinced there is a good secular reason for caring what the divorce rate is; it does not affect me at all that some people have gotten divorced frequently or quickly. As long as I'm not expected to keep buying you wedding presents its literally none of my business.
Taxes I guess? 😂
Idk, I'm concerned bc I care about people's mental health and know how distressing a bad marriage and divorce can be.
My sister was divorced and it didn't get any easier for her mental health for several years after. Between child custody and him being super difficult, I'm amazed she pushed through.
I think the main problem illustrated by the "spicy food" opinion is that for some reason we shame people for not enjoying spicy food. The fact that the poster clearly doesn't like spicy food but felt the need to try to like it shows this. Could you imagine telling someone who doesn't like overly sweet food that they just "can't handle sweet food" like it's supposed to be some sort of endurance challenge.
i'm almost glad i have digestion issues because it gives me a really good excuse that most people don't push
Well, that's because people who don't like spicy food are _weak!_
Kidding. I live in an area, and was born into a family, where spicy food is extremely popular, and I myself love it. But here's the thing about a lot of spicy foods (not all, but a lot): You can cook them with minimal spiciness for people who don't like spice, and then add additional flavor to yours after the fact. I think the "pain is not a flavor" line, while funny, shows someone who doesn't understand spicy food's appeal (and that's fine! Not everyone has to find it appealing.) I don't think anyone who enjoys spicy foods sits down and says "Alright! Let's hurt ourselves!" It's not the "pain" that is appealing. Once you get used to the spice, as Click said, it's the _flavor_ that we love.
There actually is a point, in my opinion, where there's too much heat involved, and you can't taste the flavor anymore because the heat is killing your taste buds. I can eat chicken wings drowned in a nice, flavorful hot sauce all day long, but some of those sauces out there with ridiculously high heat ratings don't even taste good... they're just for masochists trying to show how tough they are. I can handle the heat from some of them, but they taste horrible. The heat really is the only selling point, and that's just dumb.
My partner sometimes teases me about liking food 'too plain'. He's loves spicy stuff, I can't handle it. Even 'mild' is problematic sometimes. I also don't get a lot of sauces on things, like nuggets. Of course, I like flavor, I just don't like heat. As I've said before to him 'good fries are able to stand on their own, good ketchup compliments the fries without drowning them. Unless you put way too much on. That's a different problem'. Oddly enough, I have tried authentic Indian curry and, while very spicy, didn't have the painful side effects I get any time I've accidentally eaten something with peppers, especially habaneros.
Tbh the whole idea that you "need" to like spicey food is just, so weird, like I personally like some spicey stuff because I grew up with pickled jalapenos being added to multiple dishes and occassionally eating them as-is and that's fine, but everyone has a different tolerance level and it does need to be built up to a degree. Also, there is definitely a point where spice becomes pure capsaicin and no flavor at all and it's perfectly reasonable to dislike that, tbf ghost peppers were the worst imo because it's all the chemical that causes a pain response and nothing else when I just want an interesting flavor. I have to wonder about that poster though and if they don't actually understand what they're doing and are overusing spices because just a trace is usually good for low tolerance people to try and little enough can be easily added with no real difference other then a hint of something new in the dish so part of their problem might be being misguided, which I feel bad for them if so. Tbf I have a friend who I started buying disposable gloves for because she can eat peppers and we both like jalapeno poppers but she can't touch the raw peppers without getting mild hives, though we haven't cooked that in a hot minute. People should know their limits though and not force themself to do something that's giving them negative results just because one person said so though, more then anything else. Like the shit ain't for everyone and it's fine guys
yeah, it's the same with alcohol, so many people will just pressure or ridicule you bc they can't understand how you can dislike something they like! we all have different preferences and a lot of it comes from what we ate as kids, but there's also things like sensory issues, add all that together and something you love and be completely inedible to sb else and forcing sb to like what you like never works well
just bc something is liked by a big portion of the population does not make is good for everyone and people need to respect that instead of getting defensive, nobody is insulting you by saying they personally don't like the food you like
I could also go on about divorce rates but the brief a-level summary.
1. They’re easier to get legally speaking. In the UK laws changed from needing proof to adding a “no fault” clause (1969 Divorce Law Reform Act ) that only calls for an “irretrievable breakdown”
2. Divorce is more acceptable. From secularisation to individualisation, social values have changed and divorce is more accepted than it has been, so people have less fear of judgement.
3. High expectations of marriage from media lead to disappointment, and so divorce
4. As mentioned, increased life expectancy. You live longer with your “mistakes” so divorce solves it before death does.
5. Women’s financial independence. Women are the ones more likely to file for divorce (in man-woman couples) and they are now more able to do so! They can hire the needed people and are able to make it on their own outside the marriage since they have money.
6. (My favourite in class) Marriage’s changing meaning. Previously, folks got married mainly for economic reasons and love was secondary. Many social changes later, now it’s argued that “confluent love” is the main reason. If the partners are unhappy, the reason is not fulfilled and so the arrangement is called off.
Popular opinion:
Dating is difficult.
My popular opinion: Clicks' new haircut is looking real good
There was this American comedian, Ron Funches, who said : “I just dont understand how do you not believe in any conspiracy theories, I understand not all of them, not most of them but you don’t believe in -any- conspiracy theories ? You just think the government is batting a thousand and telling us the whole truth ? That’s a strong stance to take.”
And I really think he has a point : to be 100% against conspiracy theories is mathematically being a 100% sure the government (any government) tells us the whole truth and like he said… that’s a strong stance to take I’m not gonna lie
Since when are all the facts people have conspiracy theories about the sole property of the government? The government didn’t tell me the Earth is round. Eratosthenes did. 4000 years ago.
I don't think not believing in any specific conspiracy and thinking that the government is completely honest is equivalent. I don't believe in any specific conspiracy theories because none of the conspiracy theories I've seen have sufficient evidence. They might be possible but being possible doesn't mean it's true. However, the government has definitely been shady and dishonest in the past and I'm confident that they are now
My unpopular opinion is that AI is not always bad. AI is a tool. It’s when people use AI to replace artists like myself who put years into learning our craft that it becomes a problem.
Its also bad when people use ai to put a persons face on a video that isn't them. I heard people get their faces on 🌽orn by ai.
At my company all that happens is the artist learned how to use the AI and incorporate it into their art. I really don't understand why this isn't the norm.
Its great to use as reference material- such as when you need a mood/inspiration board. I think the only issue is when you start trying to make money off of it.
@@Gin_isnotmynameI remember stuff like that happening back in the 2000s (just done by video editors manually rather than automated by AI tools) so humans have just always sucked 😅
Isn't that a bit hypocritical? You call it a tool and the very purpose of a tool is to make work easier, allow more work to be done in the same time and ultimately require less workers, especially when those tools grow into full-on machines. An AI providing people with cheap, automated images is the same as industrial looms providing people with cheap, off the shelf clothing or cameras providing people with cheap, instant portraits. It's just part of increasing automation. There are still people making custom clothes, still people who make portraits (in actual paint or as professional photographers) and there will also still be people making custom art. Before this new "AI" wave I wouldn't have paid an artist for somthing that I could do myself in MS-paint. Now I just have a new tool that I can do stuff myself with.
In the end, if you fear to be replaced in your job, it's just like with any other job: make yourself invaluable, learn to make use of the new situation, find things you can do that your replacement couldn't do and continue on showcasing that.
And anyone using digital tools for their art is already relying heavily on "AI", be that a simple "fill this space with a color" or a complex curve. This is simply the next generation of that, making your work easier and allowing you to spend your times on those details that the AI couldn't do. Turning an AI-Image into actual art.
And just to be clear - there is no actual AI as of yet. THAT would open up a whole other can of worms of philosophical and legal questions.
While I don't agree with the "taking your own picture is narcissistic" thing, it is honestly weird how much emphasis people place on having to take pictures.
I never liked my picture taken but after all these years and even as a grown adult that can decide myself, my mother still every time acts like I'm slowly torturing her to death by saying "no i don't want you to take a picture of me".
I see you and I feel your pain. I don’t like my picture taken either, but on rare occasion I’m like “damn, I’d really would like someone to take a picture of me doing this silly thing” you know? That once in a blue moon feeling of ok, today, right now, I could do that and wouldn’t mind.
I love taking pictures because I want to remember things and also sometimes because I'm scared of forgetting things and people in the future. Obviously it's fine if you don't want your picture taken but if someone asks to take pictures with you its not necessarily just about the picture it's more about having something to look back on in the future
@@Aldurtz yeah i get it. It's mostly some people being so forcibly adamant about it even if you absolutely don't feel like it on that day that you feel like you can't even give half of an inch, you know?
As i've grown to like my body and how i look more, i find myself taking more mirror selfies. I don’t think that makes me narcissistic, it just helps me see my progress as i learn to not hate myself.
@@Scarlett.Granger oh yeah, and you think “didn’t i just say no? Wtf, why you keep insisting?”
My philosophy on evidence and challenging the scientific consensus is, if you're an expert in a select topic, yes, challenge the consensus, check their work, ask questions, replicate experiments, refine the data.
If you are not an expert in said topic, however, defer to the experts. The chances of you stumbling and bumbling into some sort of paradigm shifting data as a lay person are miserably low and you're just going to be swimming in a sea of misinformation.
the shower one is 100% correct. It is incredibly bad for your skin and hair to shower every day or god forbid MULTIPLE times a day. Its also a waste of water to shower when you don't really need it. They already accounted for different working/lifestyle conditions too. Obviously if you get dirty or sweaty or whatever take a shower but unless you're actually dirty, you don't need a shower.
Yeah. I think most people genuinely have a sense of when/how often they need a shower. Too much of anything can be bad.
I used to work at a warehouse, that's work that makes you need to shower every day. If it's not sweat, it's dirt, if it's not dirt, you saw a smashed roach in plastic that had never been opened at your facility, thank goodness.
Now that I'm not doing as strenuous work there's some days especially on days off where I didn't do much or even go outside and genuinely don't need a shower.
sometimes depending on the season a shower can help reset your temperature too. Like a cool shower in the summer can give you a slight heat resistance. Or a warm shower in the winter can make it so that your hands and feet can readjust to your body temperature so you aren't cold for the rest of the day
It is correct, but also not quite. What damages the skin and removed the oil predominantly is when you shower HOT, LONG and with SOAP every day. Those stress and dry out the skin if you do them daily.
Just taking a quick shower with moderate temperature and without soap every day doesn't damage your skin nearly as much and helps you get rid of the very basic dirt, like sweat and dead skin cells, on your skin.
So the advice I'd give is to just reduce the amount of times you use soap and wash your hair during showers. You can still have your 30 minute, scalding shower where you scrub yourself with a loofer and soap. Just for the love of god, don't do it daily.
I see your point, but it should be considered that even if you don't have a really dirty job, it's still a really individual thing.
I have had people get genuinely Angry at me when I tell them I shower everyday, never considering how easy a 3 - 4 minute neutral-cold temperature shower is. I have a couple things with my skin and it's the easiest way to manage it, but so many people get angry for such a little thing (I also have brightly dyed hair, which I just tie up to keep out of the water and wash every 2 or 3 times a week).
As for showering multiple times a day, I get why it sounds so bad, but again it's just different for someone people. I have sensory issues and when I'm traveling, sometimes the air can feel very different on my skin in a negative way that I can't really explain. I belive my record is 4 or 5 short showers in one day, because the air just felt so horrible on my skin and that was the only way I could fix it.
I get why and that it's not effective for everyone, but it's super individual so just let people live their life.
@@BlueJay2232 no yeah I totally get the sensory issues thing I hate feeling dirty. But like In my experience I’ve only ever seen people shame those who shower less for being “dirty and gross” and not the other way around unless it’s the shower less often folks defending themselves. Showering should be an individual thing because everyone’s bodies and lifestyles are different.
It’s all about balancing it. If someone takes 2 long hot showers a day it’s bad. But if they only shower every 3 days it’s bad. I just kinda shower when I need one. If I’m filthy in the morning and afternoon I’m gonna shower twice. But if I just chilled all day I don’t shower that day.
Medical fact: showering several times a day many days in a row can be a bit rough on the skin. Depending on the person, it may cause irritation, and, even if it doesn't, it's generally not advised. Removing the oil layer in the skin once in a while (say... once a day) is something the skin can replenish, but any more than once a day will probably be unmanageable for those with dryer skin. If you are going to shower several times a day, make sure you buy a nice shower gel at least.
Source: my cousin is a dermatologist, and I had also heard/read it before she told us.
Edit: as for washing your hair, it doesn't need to be washed every day, even if you do shower daily. I, personally, wash it every 3 days (sometimes 2, sometimes 4, it varies). If the shampoo makes a significant amount of bubbles/foam the first time you apply it when washing your gair, it was pretty clean to begin with, so, if this always happens, perhabs you are washing it more often than necessary; foam should appear after removing the shampoo with water and then applying it a second time.
Source: idk, my mother?; for record, I live in Spain, so maybe shampoos work differently in other parts of the world, I wouldn't know; still, don't wash your hair daily unless you work at a biological weapons lab.
I was straight up told by my doctor NOT to shower every day because it makes my skin dry to the point that I bleed. And less importantly by my hairdresser because it makes my hair dry and papery.
@@hmnhntr Thanks for sharing your experience. The hair thing also reminds me that many people wash their gair every time they shower, so I'm going to edit the comment to also mention that.
I wash my hair daily. I did try skipping every other day though, but that resulted in an unbearably itchy scalp. I should mention I use dandruff shampoo for, well, dandruff and that's likely why. I should also mention I have 1C hair (coarse, bone-straight Asian hair) if that matters.
@@evarinagarmguardian113 Idk much about whether the hair type matters or not, I'm not very informed and all my family are European. If this helps, a well-known brand that I've heard hairdressers recommend is H&S, so if whatever you are using isn't that and is giving you problems with your hair, maybe give it a try, or just try different shampoos.
I myself don't have dandruff (or ig it could be considered dandruff?), but I do have something simmilar in appearance (though what I have is just that my skin flakes off and looks white, or sometimes brown, like scab); for me, dandruff shampoos do nothing at all (if anything, they make it worse, bc they irritate my skin), so, if you see nothing works anyway, maybe try normal shampoo for a while and see if you have more, less or the same dandruff. If it turns out dandruff shampoos indeed weren't working for you, I personally use "STMNT all-in-one cleanser", which is quite exfoliating and gets all that bad-looking scab/dandruff thing off my hair, temporarily.
Men often forget how much less likely we are to be murdered by our dates we are than women, when talking about dating. Like, yeah she might have rejected me, but she is also taking a real risk by meeting a strange man - which I, as a man meeting a woman, am not taking.
Yep. Men worry about being rejected or laughed at when going on a date, while women worry about being raped or killed when going on a date.
My male friend thanked me for laying this point out for him. He was generally anxious about getting older and not having a marriage prospect yet. He was complaining how these girls would talk to him well enough but not want to just go ahead and meet him in person. He was definitely rushing it. On average, women are weaker and smaller than most men physically, so the likelihood we can defend ourselves if something bad happens is way less. Same reason there are weight classes in fighting sports. He said he wasn't a bad guy who was going to hurt them, but random women dont know him or his actual intentions. So it may take time to try to get a personality read on a person. My friend ended up marrying a girl after 6 months that he met online. We found it odd but support him anyways.
Honestly that’s where I thought the person in the video would go with their post.
I feel so bad for my brother because I'm pretty sure he gives off dangerous vibes to women, even though I know he's just a criminally awkward guy.
Like, I can't blame women for being worried about his intentions, the few times I've seen him talking to girls. But he just so badly wants literally any affection and attention. And sadly, it leads him deeper into the behavior that makes him seem dangerous.
YES EXACTLY
I'm currently studying to become a car mechanic and in those studies we had a short internship to complete in a local shop. I do have to say as much as I helped with oil changes and etc., there was so much work done on the car's computers and the repair manuals got so much bigger overtime because of electronics, not to mention the cost of the tools and software NEEDED to tell the computer that the oil has been changed. Also the change from fixing parts and putting them back in place to just ordering a new one is fascinating to me, I have teachers who worked in the industry for well over 20 years that saw that change and have so many skills that we will most likely never need because of the idea that it's faster to just order a new piece than actually fixing it.
I would’ve agreed with the “pain isn’t a flavor” thing until I had a baby! Pregnancy completely changed my tastebuds, now spicy stuff isn’t just hot, it’s more like savory but more intense. I don’t think this one is really an opinion as much as it’s something biological
My dad used to love spicy foods, but for some reason after his second knee replacement he can't do it anymore (and the surgery was over two years ago at this point). Something in the medications he received like permanently altered not only his taste buds but also his body's response to spicy foods, and he'll get stomach-aches and heartburn and stuff. It's super weird.
That's pretty interesting
Thats interesting to here :O
Hrt did the same for me, before testosterone I didn't see the appeal of spicy stuff, it just tasted like heat. Now it does have a distinct kind of "taste," it's nice in moderation.
On the shower one. It does vary depending on what you do on a day to day basis, but the poster is right. It actually is better for you to not shower everyday because it's better for your skin and hair. I shower every 2-3 days myself and I wash my hair once a week. Honestly tho, at the end of the day, how often you shower depends on when you feel gross. When your skin starts to feel greasy, take a shower. When your hair is a degree of greasy that you don't like, take a shower. I think my hair looks best about 2 days after I wash it, but at about the 6 day mark is when my hair starts to look gross. But someone else may think their hair looks best right after a shower.
Yeah, I agree. I normally shower every second day, but I live where the temperature is generally cool, and I work from home.
However if I'm going somewhere other than the shops (pub, party, dinner, etc) I'll always shower beforehand
in my case I struggle with taking care of myself in general and I always feel bad when people say not showering daily is gross because it's just hard for me to do
I hate the feeling of water on my skin so much man
I always have to force myself to do it, it's very tiring but I do try to keep it to 3 days max
Curly girl method may be your friend…
I live in a hot climate so I shower almost every day, but I have been trying to go easy on the soap and shampoo and just use water sometimes
My hair was getting too dry 😅
That leaves the t-shirt question 🤔
5:40 what most people dont consider is how these "negative" traits of homeless people is due to anti homeless design
them using the bathroom in public ares is due to the lack off easily accessible public restrooms (that are 100% free)
the garbage is due to how most of them cant easily find a trashcan in a place that doesn't require them to either walk like 1 block or go into a place they may get harassed or even arrested
I take pictures of myself when I feel good about myself to capture that feeling that doesn't necessarily come very often, being trans it's hard to feel good about yourself. So when I look in the mirror and I'm like "damn I'm cute/hot" I take a moment to just capture the moment. It's happened a lot more after being on hormones and I'm a lot more comfortable with getting my picture taken than I used to be.
Dudeee I've been on hrt for like four years and I still struggle, even post op. It's hard when you see you but don't feel like you
this is very real. I also have issues with taking pictures of myself. I actually have no pictures of myself from before 2 years ago aside from sports pictures.
the most pictures I took of myself were in my first year of hrt when the hormones were strong. Now I take pictures on rare occasions when I feel great. That doesn't mean my life is miserable it just means that I'm more confident with who I am and don't need to stare at photos of myself to see how masculine/attractive I look.
Relatable, I'm non-binary pre-top surgery and stuff and I rarely see myself when I look in the mirror. When I do, of course I'm taking a picture!
Same! Or just sometimes when I feel I have a new average (after a haircut, getting a gender affirming piece of clothing etc), to show how far I‘ve come! I‘m currently wearing the same pieces of clothing I wore sometime in 2020 when I first figured myself out and took a photo of me (trying out a new haircut by sticking my hair behind) and I love how far I‘ve come! It‘s not that I‘m full of myself, it‘s that I want myself to be filled.
That car one is so relatable. My mom can fix any car made before the millennium. But after they started out in computers she opened up a hood and realized she had no idea what was wrong with it. She can do basic things still, but not everything like she used to be able to.
Do car car mechanics also need to study IT nowadays?
@@Evija3000 i have no idea. I just know it's not as easy as it used to be.
I kinda agree with the repair one. My dad is gen x and has redone every room in their house, including the bathrooms. When I asked how he did it he said he would watch a couple of RUclips tutorials showing you how to get a general idea. I just applied this logic to some minor fixes around my apartment as well instead of bugging maintenance. Now you can't do that for some things like those involving electronics but for other things you totally can
Genuinely so glad I'm aro-ace because the entire stress of dating is taken completely off the table and my life is so much easier!
You are so lucky to be both! It's so difficult being ace but not aro. Finding a romantic partner who's okay with me not being sexually into them was like finding a needle in a haystack.
@@Nakia11798 It's nice but it's also kind of lonely. No one ever wants to just hang out as friends. I really wanted to do Horror Nights this year but I couldn't find anyone to go with me because none of my friends' partners wanted to go so they didn't want to go. Like more often than not I don't get invited and when I do I'm the 3rd wheel that gets completely ignored.
@@KassMcCormack That's not because you're aro-ace, that's because your friends' partners are possessive.
Or maybe your friends are just all really clingy?
Either way, I have no problem doing stuff with my friends, regardless if their partners are coming or not.
I might not be ace, but I certainly am aromantic so I'm never getting a partner.
@@Nerobyrne it’s kind of a bit of both (clingy & possessive). I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of them actually single for more than a week. One of them literally moved from one partner’s house directly into the next one’s.
@@KassMcCormack oof yeah that sounds pretty bad lol.
The exact opposite of me, I'm aro but not ace, so I am just single ^^
The type of earwax-body odor link is actually true. It's one reason why deodorant isn't considered as much of a necessity in places like South Korea. Of course, it varies and people will still use products to smell better as they see fit, but naturally bad body odor is far less of an issue over there. Source: Am Korean and have been told numerous times by friends/roommates that I'm almost as odorless as a human can naturally get. Same is true for many of the Koreans I've known.
You look like pie
@@catloafonlaptop435what
I believe the lack of body odour is due to genes. Only Asian people (although probably not all) has this gene. Ngl, wish I had it too 🥲
Idk what it has to do with earwax tho..
I'm Asian American, and I just don't get much body odor, and my earwax is flaky. It tends to take me several months to use up a single stick of deodorant.
for the dating app thing i tried doing that and because of mental health conditions i get social drained easily. whenever i opened the app i always got overstimulated cause of all the guys i had to message back plus the anxiety of thinking im rude cause i didnt answer back quick enough.
I'll be real, I started dating a fairly fit guy, and he put on a little weight after we'd been dating, and to be honest, both sex and cuddling are more comfortable, when you have a little squish. Same guy, but a little bit of weight, just feels nicer.
As a guy, agreed. Maybe thinner people have a stronger visual first impression, but I've always felt more intimate with people who have some weight.
Muscular I think is still pretty nice, my ex was very muscular and the sex and cuddling were both great because he was strong (so the sex was fun and had a lot of energy) and he was so warm so the cuddling was great, but I’m seeing someone now who’s a little softer and it’s also great, especially the cuddling, because it’s so cozy.
Sex/cuddling with actually thin people though I’m not a fan of, a lot of time I feel like I’m going to break the other person because they just feel frail, and cuddling is lowkey painful, I remember crawling in bed with a former friend of mine who was quite thin and it was actually painful because he was like a bundle of sticks.
My fit ex did mention though that he always preferred cuddling with someone who had some squish, so I think this is a pretty popular opinion.
Dated a chubbyish girl for the first time and honestly it's amazing, she's so cuddly and warm. It's great
When my fiance and I first started dating we were both fairly fit dudes, six years later we have dad bods xD him because he loves ice cream more than any person should and me because I'm on medication that messed up my metabolism...and I could def lay off the doordash. Though we both agree that it is way more comfortable to cuddle and have fun nowadays then it was six years ago. I mean who can complain about an extra pillow lol
1:36 maybe the problem is not that divorce is so ‘easy’, but that marriage is seen as so necessary? just a thought?
I think a lot of problems would be solved if we just separate the religious institution from the legal institution, like I don't think I should enter into this supposedly sacred life time pact just to have the right to see my partner in the hospital
And especially that it's seen as something people should rush into as soon as possible.
@@battlesheep2552honestly I think that marriages shouldn’t matter at all - why, for example, should a person living with their partner have to pay less if they go through a specific ceremony than if they don’t?
@@NomadikI see this a lot in some communities here in the US, mostly religious, no sex before marriage, types - hm, I wonder what could be the correlation there
This
As a child of divorce, i thank god for it.
My dad became a horrible person due to his addiction and infidelity. When given the choice of "work on this together, or split up", he chose to leave our whole family.
And now I have my stepdad, and he's an amazing father.
Dicorce means that people aren't stuck with someone who is no longer who they married. It means the children don't have to be raised believing that is what a functional marriage looks like.
If someone sees (or uses) divorce as a threat or a weapon, THEY are the problem.
I don’t think divorce should be looked down on, because a lot of people get divorced for genuinely good reasons (my parents divorced because my dad was abusive but my mom was treated poorly by our community for leaving him), but I also agree with the sentiment of “don’t jump into a marriage when you barely know the other person.” Hell, I’ve known my husband for seven years and I STILL occasionally find out something new about him. Nothing crazy, obviously, but stuff like finding out he’s loved cannolis since he was a kid and we just hadn’t gone together to a place that sold them. Even after nearly a decade of being in love, I still don’t know everything about him, so imagine how little you know about your partner after just one year. It’s ok to take things slow in a relationship and get to know them for a good long while before getting married, and it’ll save you from the heartache of getting divorced later on.
agree. I think divorce is a great thing to have. Although marriage should be presented more as what it is so that people who are unprepared do not romanticize it too much. It's legally binding yourself to another person with a cultural expectation that this is the person for you. Some people don't think about that. You'll be living with this person, you may even end up sharing finances, making investments and depending on the relationship, having or adopting kids. Its great to think you have someone that is good for you but spending the time with them is what's important.
I have a family member whos known the person they've just married for only 6 months. The whole family was saying no this is a bad idea, give it time don't jump into this. Everyone, from every spectrum(diverse political view differences)of beliefs in this family is certain that this will end in disaster.
@@dragonwolfzero820I feel like it goes both ways. People shouldn’t jump into relationships and immediately get married, but families/society also shouldn’t pressure people to get married. I remember my family and their friends would always “joke” with me about “when are you gonna get a boyfriend/get married” ever since I was literally a toddler. Especially in Southern Baptist church culture (which I grew up in), women are pretty much forced to get married or else be treated like an outcast, but you’ll also become an outcast if your husband turns out to be abusive and you leave him.
I love how people say just fix your broken stuff. All you'll need is a £500 soldering iron, a semi boliod conductor, a degree in quantum mechanics, a 7 sided screw driver in the shape the troll face, oops, forgot to mention that one hidden screw that completely breaks the device if you miss it and you will also need the maiden shield from the mutated plant room to open. Now we can start with the repair.
I half way agree with the divorce one but it's based on the fact that we as a society treat marriage itself like something to rush into. Some people get married for no other reason than one is pregnant, and it's a 'social sin' to have a child out of wedlock. Others do it out of family or other social pressure when they barely can stand the other as a person. There would be a lot less divorce if people weren't socially pushed into marriage at the first opportunity.
edit: obviously I write this before that story even finished, lol, shows I should not do that
I do wish that people were taught more about analyzing what they want and/or need in a relationship and how to find someone that fits and how to communicate those desires and boundaries. My parents spent a number of years doing workshops on communication and interpersonal skills, my mother was both a teacher herself and taught teachers, and my dad taught individual and group dynamics and counseling. We got asked questions about what we want, what would we do if someone started hitting us (or even running over some nonphysical boundary), how would we tell someone that this example happened, how would we negotiate and communicate clearly if there was a disagreement about something, how to search for underlying needs that were being met by the surface social games (whether the game was useful or beneficial was a different question), etc. The oldest under this system have both been married 38 years. Three years younger got married (after several years dating) during COVID and is blissfully happy now but had much earlier broken up with someone whose job prevented them from devoting the time they wanted from a partner. Youngest is divorced but that was initiated by spouse and I think there was a mismatch there but unsure if that was because by that time my parents were not being as explicit about it or because spouse got taught none of that and didn't choose someone who fit what they really wanted.
Honestly the perspective on rushing marriage is actually changing in some places. The ages of getting married here are getting higher. However, a whole lot of people still get married for the wrong reasons. Aka, my stepbro married his first wife because that'd fix all his problems in his mind. They got divorced not even a year later because of course, marriage didn't fix the relationship issues, if anything, they got worse. Now he's got a new girlfriend and two kids, because he thinks having kids will solve his problems there. It's not solving his problems there to be fair. But whatever. I just find him weird for thinking that way. Surprisingly though, he's not the only person I know that thinks that way. And looking into why people get married that's often a believe too. Thanks to all the movies portraying marriage as a magical fix and people wanting to believe that it works.
I agree.
Dating apps and online dating in general is absolutely awful for everyone.
I say we return to the old fashioned way of finding partners, just like the movies: running into them out of the blue at your school, work, or carnival, spending the holidays/summer together, and then being there to comfort them when someone they know tragically passes away.
yeah. Modern society is very online based. Not bad in all ways because of easy avoidance of red flags. Safety, and not pointlessly over spending money.
However it's not great when people who know that using a dating app will heavily put a negative wedge in their life bc in my opinion those apps sound exhausting as hell.
again it's not great in the way that people don't meet in person as often. Most of the time you go into public everyone is tunnel vision and no one really goes out to make connections
and because of that it becomes like
well there's no one to hang out with me today so why even go out it won't be very fun.
I've honestly had great conversations with random people here and there even nerding out about something in a nerd store but then theres no further attempt at anything really when friendship wise.
Totally agree 💯!!!!!!!
the "Shower person" is technically right tho. You don't need to shower everyday using soap, if you sweat a lot washing it of with just water is just fine
Everyone has different needs. Shower when you need to
Also, showering after a day of staying inside isn't needed as well
true, I saw document about skin and it has similar "microbiom" as stomach and is part of skin protection but gets always killed of by soap. But it's more profitable to offer all kinds of creams and vitamins to bring the balance back a bit then tell people to not overdu it...(yay for shaming advertisement). It'S also issue with classism. ....it's kinda "funny" how in puberty our body grows hair in places where the smelliest kinds of bacteria live.... basicaly creating for them thicker jungle where they have more surcafe to live and fart.
I have dermatitishydrosis, when I shower every single day my hair gets super oily so much faster and my skin gets so dry, itchy, and I break out in bumps. I'm an art student so you don't see me doing regular exercise at a gym, sure I'll go walking, hiking, or biking. But on top of that I have an autoimmune disorder that causes me to sweat much lesser than the regular human, that also means I'm susceptible to heat stroke and I need to be careful, bring water, bring a light change of clothes, and make sure I'm not too far from other people around me if I need help.
Also if people have mental health issues and physically cant bring themselves to get a shower some days
I did a "scientific" "study" while working in a factory and didn't shower for a month, I told my co-workers about my "study" only after I ended it, they were of course disgusted but had to admit that none of them noticed any bad odor or anything from me during that month, but I think I just have good genes and don't get smelly that easily.
That shower one bothers me that it's unpopular - as someone with executive dysfunction issues (a common symptom of ADHD and autism) it can be frickin' hard to shower super regularly. I do think you should absolutely do your best to avoid being smelly and unpleasant in public, whatever that means for you, but you shouldn't shame people who can't take daily showers.
(Other things that can make that hard: if you're depressed it can be really hard to care for yourself and if you don't have a lot of money you might need to save money. I'm sure there's plenty of other reasons too)
Also, I haven't fact checked this so do your own research, but my understanding is that it actually is healthier to shower less frequently. Something about the oils and stuff being healthy for hair and skin I think.
Can relate .. sometimes i dont shower for 3-4 days until i notice that i didnt
And sometimes even if i want to to shower .. i just .. cant
@@yuzuchi5381 exactly! I have to remember that I need to shower, and then basically I need to spend 6 hours hyping myself up (ie, doing something idle like scrolling while vaguely thinking about how I need a shower) with no major disruptions or it just. Won't happen. Because my brain hates me
Exactly! I can’t imagine having the time to gear yourself up for a shower twice everyday, let alone just once.
(Also my hair get incredibly horrible when it’s washed too often, it’s not nice to live with.)
for me its even worse if i KNOW i dont ahve to go outside ... if i have an appointment thats important im able to force myself with help ... but else .. yeah no chance.
once had 2 good month were i was able to shower every other day ... was great .. miss those times
I have a chronic illness and was EXTREMLY sick for a while, I rember days when it was a victory to shower, I remember days when "stand under water for a few minutes" was a shower, and I rember days when "fuck it I'll just use extra deodorant" was enough....
And to be honest..... the only thing that ever gave me away was my hair..... getting gresy and desshevled.
It takes longer to get smelly and gross than people think.
Also showering every 2-3 days is normal :/
Showering every day is excessive even for typicalls
Man I hate when people act like not wanting your partner to go through your phone is suspicious 100% of the time. While I get that most cases are because of cheating, not all are. I personally don't like my partner going through my phone. Not because I'm texting someone else, but because I have a collection of memes that I'm rather embarrassed about. Same goes for my partner, but with him it's because of his collection of anime tiktoks. I also don't feel comfortable with him going through my old art binder. Am I hiding something nefarious in there? No, I just find my old art cringey and embarrassing. The only thing I have to hide are my own weird insecurities.
i want to have faith in humanity so i think it's the other way around, most _aren't_ because of cheating, just valuing privacy and or having embarrassing things on there
Yep. Like my partner and I know each other's phone passwords, but like 95% of the time we're going on the others phone because we were asked to. Like "My hands are messy, can you pull the recipe back up?". We've never felt the need to go through each other's phones. Only very occasionally will we ask to stay off the others phone, and that's almost always due to conversations with friends who are having a really bad day or something because they don't want it shared. Like if you have to go through someone's phone to trust them do you really trust them?
@@waffles3629 Exactly. If you trust your partner and talk with each other about things happening, there shouldn't be anything really new that you could learn from going through their phone. I feel like in this argument people only think about it as "just read everything on my phone" or "don't dare even looking at the screen when I'm typing". Unless you're organizing some surprise for your partner, there should be no need for secrecy, but there should also be no NEED to go through the phone.
@@lukasr5867 exactly, why is it such a foreign concept for some people to trust their partner? Just talk to each other. Like 95% of the time I'm asked for advice about any kind of relationship the solution, or at least path toward the solution, is *communicate.* Open your mouths and talk to each other.
The problem with "cringe" is that it's yet another example of adjectiving a verb. To cringe is to pull back from something that startles, scares, or disgusts you. You might cringe from someone threatening to hit you, or from opening a container in the fridge and it being rotten. The term for when something makes you cringe is that something is "cringey". This is an adjective to describe how much something makes you want to cringe.
Turning cringe into a noun or adjective is creating a word that didn't need to be made. There's a perfectly good adjective to use. You don't need to create a new one, just to save a single letter or to be contrary.
Idk I kinda agree with the dating app thing. There is no way to build an online relationship with someone without some kind of expectation once you meet them irl. Someone is expecting something, sex, a relationship, free meal, make out.... Something is expected. I prefer to date people naturally and authentically without expectations and dating apps make that near impossible
I however, think that when I go on a dating app, my expectations are super clear and transparent. It's important to choose the right dating app.
Often, like weekly, you can go on a dating app and go from Hi to naked together in under 45 minutes without ever saying more than 50 words to each other and seeing one profile picture. Then, often as not, you become friends after that and eventually go to dating if it's fun just hanging out. Seriously, I made most of my friends in adulthood that way and also started all of my relationships that way. Most of those friendships have also lasted many years.
My unpopular opinion is that if you haven't even seen each other naked, will you really be able to be comfortable being close friends? I know a huge number of my friends have all slept together at some point and it really reduces social friction.
But your homies do say "no homo" before sleeping together, right? Right??
@@blumoogle2901Not everyone can just jump into sex or even being naked. Later, maybe - invite them to a sauna or something ;) - but not necessarily from the get go. Especially with sex, especially with women, especially those growing up in some kind of religious environment or having been SA'a or SH'd in the past. If you have internalised that you should be a gatekeeper to sex, or that you will be disrespected and shamed even/especially by your partner when you do engage in sex (which is told by both religious and more secular centrist culture (by centrist I mean neither conservatove, because they like sex, but only for men, nor leftost, for obvious reasons)), it's really difficult to just let go of all that and see sex as a fun cooperative activity increasing intimacy. Your suggestion sounds like it can be working for people who grew up in a pretty progressive environment and could easily reject the shame rhetoric, or, well, for men, who are less affected by that rhetoric. (I don't doubt there are women growing up in "normal" environments who engage in this stuff, I just don't think it's realistic for now to suggest it to be a norm).
Expectations are there in offline dating too.
Fun Fact: The genes for less body odor and dry earwax are more prevalent among East Asian populations. I likely have this genetic trait myself, as it takes me 4-6 months to use up a single deodorant stick.
On a related note, since I've started HRT I've noticed that my body odor has virtually disappeared. Androgen blockers and estradiol both suppress the production of testosterone, which is responsible for male body odor. I have no plans to stop showering, since I work outdoors a lot, but it should make life easier in a lot of ways.
Im Asian and im this type as well. I rarely get stinky even at the gym. When its summer or when the day is hot i shower more often but sometimes i can skip a day if its not too bad
Im pre-everything for now, but thats very interesting to know
I'm a cis woman and I'm super stinky sometimes. You'll have your time when you're sweating from exercise or stress and you'll smell bad.
Just different bad. My shoes smell like stale popcorn after exercise. A very weird stink.
My friends and I were talking about this, and our friend with Chinese ancestry is the same way. I also remember seeing a travel video urging people to bring extra deodorant on trips to Japan because it's harder to find in shops due to these genetic factors. Interesting!
I used to not sweat a lot or have a strong b.o. Much of my Mom's side is like that (they are mostly eastern European and Russian, but my grandfather's side also has a lot of Turkish as they're from counties that boarder it. I took a DNA test that confirmed this amd it is still a decent amount considering that part of the family has been in the u.s. for like 4 generations by the time i was born. So I don't know if this is related or not.) That said, I am on an IUD (an intrauterine borth control.) I love it because it controls my periods and they aren't an issue for me anymore. That said the main two side effects I get from it is that it makes my face greasier (my acne is worse now than when I was a teen. I barely had any as a teen,) and that I sweat WAY more and it is so much stronger smelling than before when I was off it. It's not enough to seriosuly impact my life but I have to use deodorant a couple times a day, more of I'm very physically active. Plus my boots amd shoes bow smell so terrible. Like they would snell before but like I gotta keep my work shoes in my trunk or the entire cab of the car will reek or I had to keep my steel toe boots in a covered box so my apt wouldn't smell. 😖
aw dang it, i'm half chinese & i inherited the stinky bitch gene from my european side. i didn't get any good genes from either side 🥴
Also regarding the repair thing, so many companies these days actively lobby to prevent repairs from being possible in order to make people replace instead. The Right to Repair is a huge controversy in technology in particular
I was taught growing up to use curse words "when appropriate." I know that is sort of vague, but there are two ideas here.
First is that if there is less of a stigma of them being "bad" then kids are less likely to use them just to rebel.
The second is that by treating them more like extreme versions of more tame words, to be used in extreme situations, they have more of an impact. When the person who doesn't curse suddenly is using curse words, everyone takes note. I know this is true because my friends have told me so.
I like this take. I only curse when I am truly upset, and it definitely gets people's attention.
On the repair and generations thing:
To combine a few of your points together, if you donxt have a house, you probably donxt have tools beyond a basic screwdriver, scissors, etc. You likely aren't going to spend precious apartment space on storing a power drill socket set, pliers, etc. unless you have a hobby that uses those things regularly.
Yep. I've got a small toolbox and a drill. That's it. And I only have the drill cause I needed it to install my AC.
Not necessarily the same thing but this also applies to clothing and mending them. I'm a bit of a textile hobbyist (crochet, embroidery, sewing, making toys, etc.) so the ability to mend my own clothes (and other peoples clothes) is a boon for me but I'd end up throwing out a lot of cheap ill-fitting clothing away if I didn't know how to add patches or darn holes, let alone making clothing I actually wanna wear (which isn't exactly cheap but outweighs the cost of buying new shorts yearly because I wore a hole in the crotch/inner thighs again). Most people don't own a sewing kit let alone know how to sew a button
@@lazyperfectionist3978 yep. I had to teach my partner to show me stuff before deeming it unfixable because growing up the only things fixed in her house were tiny holes and buttons. She was desperate one day because something had ripped and she was just hoping I could fix it up enough to make it through her work shift. I just completely fixed it up and a year later she's still wearing it. Yeah, I had a pile of stuff to fix/show her how to fix after that. Occasionally something isn't fixable, or isn't worth fixing, but that's not often.
Ever since my roommate got a 3D printer, he repairs a lot more stuff. He's always had the skills for various repairs, but like Click said, parts were expensive (or not available!). Now he's able to print many parts himself for a buck or less worth of filament. Broken handle on the can opener? Design and print a new one! (And upgrade it to being more ergonomic!) Broken casing for his sister's smart lights? Print a new case! (SOOOOO much cheaper with smart lights, or really any LEDs.)
Something that I find absolutely aggravating with online dating, is when people just swipe without actually reading your profile, or they just decide that doesn't apply to them. I'm allergic to all smoking; cigarettes, cigars, weed, vapes, all of it. I literally have throat constriction from all of them. The amount of people, primarily men, who outright ignore that even when they *do* read my profile is astounding. I have on there that it is a non-negotiable thing, I cannot date a smoker because I need to breathe. One guy even said that it would give him incentive to quit; yeah, no, that isn't how addictions or allergies work. I also explained to him that it's very likely all of his clothing has a residual scent to it, which itself gives me instant migraines because smokers are nose-blind, which means meeting up with him at all will be detrimental to my physical health.
Also when I say I want kids, or that just because I'm pan, doesn't mean I'm poly so don't match with me; when I come across their profile, read it, and see we aren't compatible because of these things (or certain views/religion), and I skip them and it says "you missed a match", like? No, no I fucking did not? I even had a coworker match me, who is a married poly, and I almost called him out on not reading my profile (I never brought it up, because that would be awkward as hell afterwards as I was not going to date him and his wife); literally, at the top, it says no ONS, no Poly, and other things for quick reference for people to see we aren't compatible, and yet, YET people still just.. don't read it. The lack of effort 100% makes me not regret saying no because if someone can't be bothered to read the information you put on your profile, I cannot be bothered to give them a chance as they deemed reading for a minute a waste of time (none of it is lengthy; in fact, this post is longer than my entire profile).
Also annoying? When you match with someone and they never bother to respond; why the hell did you match if you didn't want to talk? Unless they just matched everyone and just read who matched with them afterward, in which case, that is a waste of my time and effort and fuck you.
So yeah, online dating is for the birds and I'm not sure I'm going to try it again; the two people I dated from there both were controlling assholes I wasn't going to put up with; one tried using emotional manipulation (like self-depreciation to try to garner sympathy, constantly asking if I was going to break up with him to an exhausting degree (I think it was several times a week, because he was insecure), expecting me to always be the one to find things to do, but then he would complain that we did those things despite not giving imput; yeah, no, he wasn't ready to be with someone), and the other tried to overrule my opinions and gave off the vibes of being abusive, possibly to the point of murder, and I'm not exaggerating that in the slightest. The first guy was just very damaged; I don't think he was evil, but should really take time to work on himself before trying to get into a relationship, otherwise, they aren't going to be healthy or last. The second guy I would feel relieved if I found out he was hit by a train, so that he couldn't hurt anyone who was naive and gave him a chance. That is one of the dangers of online, too, especially for women; sometimes, those gut feelings only come from face to face contact, which can be outright dangerous.
that sounds rough. This is the exact reason I am afraid of online dating. I have similar standards.
I see most people around my age are all about doing drugs and smoking and vaping. Like that's fine on them but it's not something I can have nor do I want around me for various reasons that I should not have to justify for just having a healthy preference.
also feel you on the not being poly thing. Again it's something that people can be an do and that's fine as long as I'm not expected to participate. I'm definitely a one person kind of guy so I would not be comfortable in that sort if situation.
I once had a coworker who was flirting with me, that's fine it was new, something that hadn't happened before and was interesting to me. He then told me he was poly like that was to be some incentive to make him more appealing, but as my one person preference it had the opposite effect.
the worst thing about dating culture is when someone tries to police someone about their preferences or try to change their preferences. That's just asking for a toxic and controlling situation. The way I see it is that if interests aren't compatible, it shouldn't be forced. Like who cares if someone not liking this or that makes you mad, just don't talk to them if thats the case.
@@dragonwolfzero820 I definitely agree; we can coexist in a public space, but if we aren't compatible for an intimate relationship, we aren't compatible; move on.
OMG THIS
I have literally the same problem with smoke/smokers, it's an instant dealbreaker for me. But so many people don't read my profile or just think it'll be fine, they "don't smoke much" or some BS. As a gay person my dating pool is limited already, even without taking smokers, polyamorous people and those who don't want anything serious out of the equation. 😩
@@renab.7390 Same, felt all that. That stuff is a deal breaker for me too. I'm also gay so. limited dating pool. I am a one on one kinda person. on top of that I'm a trans man and there's a large amount of transphobia in the gay community. But seriously I feel your pain. I haven't tried any apps or whatever to get a partner bc dating culture is stupid imo. There's nothing real in it. From what I've seen, it's all just fake, anti-commitment, and hookup centered(the worst part imo). Like I just want a thing to be like friends before anything else, then idk build a relationship on common interests and actual care for the other person? Things that don't seem to exist(oh and not to mention loyalty) XD
@dragonwolfzero820 There's transphobia in the gay community? Wow, i didn't know that. Why though? I'd assume gay people know what it's like to be repressed and not be discriminatory?