I told my husband not to propose to me in public or around a big group of people. He proposed to me in our hotel room, just the two of us and it was lovely!
no one found it a lil...odd that there's a camera person taking constant videos of their lovey dovey moments? it's just a production at that point. How many takes did it take?
I always wonder who is taken the video. Imagine you kissing and having a moment with your husband and someone is recording all the time!!! It's so fake please....
I ate a meal out months ago and there were some influencers or just people who care a lot about what they look like taking a video with the girls giving another girl some cupcakes for her brithday.... She recorded it about 6 times doing the reaction to getting her cakes. It was embarrassing to see!!
Your relationship is between you and your partner. That’s it. Two people. If you’re truly so happy together, there is no need or desire to brag about it to other people. Your most intimate relationship is something to protect, nurture and cherish, not blast all over social media for strangers.
I saw a RUclipsr that showed her “engagement surprise video”. Her boyfriend pulled the engagement ring OUT OF HER POCKET before bending down on his knee. Talk about a cringe worthy moment. 😂😂😂
The Ikonns always seemed so fake to me! They were so smug, self-righteous, and condescending. So I’m not at all surprised to learn that their depiction of a “perfect” marriage was fake too. That guy’s gonna be leading a cult any day now, something about him always gave me the creeps.
I used to be such a fan 10-8 years ago or so and then they started spouting Brexit and Trump ideological bullshit and my rose-tinted glasses fell off. And then I saw that they do not look happy at all, just rich.
Yesssss the ikons always made me cringe. Once Alex was vlogging and mimi didn’t know and he called her and the way she spoke to him was so dark cold and condescending. Then when he told her he was vlogging her tone changed. Mimi always gave me the ick, I always liked Alex thought he was the genuine one
Once I see the girl matching her clothes to the setting then I know straight away she’s always known what was going to happen and has dressed for the ‘surprise’ engagement 😆
I dated my husband for 10 years before we got married. We separated 6 years into the marriage. We managed to salvage our relationship, but it took a lot of internal reflection and learning to accept each other for who we were authentically. Knowing when you need time and space to recalibrate is important. Marriage can be wonderful, but maybe we need to start normalizing the struggles that everyone faces in relationships. It has been 17 years of marriage and 10 years of dating and we still have things to learn. However, I think we have grown up with these fairytale notions and want this fantasy to be reflected back to us. This is why movies always show happy endings because that is what people want to see.
I think she was right that people don’t like authenticity because as soon as someone shares they have problems people start criticizing them for over sharing. KUDOS for making it work! YOU should be an influencer. Surviving a separation is heroic at this point.
Bingo! Fairytale are to blame abd they were pushed on us girls and women to brainwash to desire and dream of being with one male for life, whilst putting up with all the nonsense, domestic work and BS that comes with being stuck with one man until you can't don it anymore or he cheats on you 😮
These “influencers” are killing reality; particularly for young women in this country. If people decide to get married (or not, bc not everyone needs to be married and can be happy) what is important is NOT the ring, the venue, the scenery, it is the relationship.
Marriage is NOT important anymore, ladies. In fact, it was never important. It was never made for us women. It has always been a business transaction to benefit the man 😮
You are 100% correct, as a matter of fact, I have met lots of couples that are having arguments before even getting married because of the lavish wedding they are trying to pull off. One of them actually got divorced a month into their marriage because the wedding caused them so much stress. So, definitely not worth it unless you actually have lots of money and pulling off a wedding like this is not going to make you broke or lose all your savings that you could be putting into a house or somewhere else.
Yet to start the video but as a gay man I get fed these “perfect couple” content constantly and it’s honestly draining, must be more draining to create it. The title got me thinking how many are fake or incredibly highly staged
@@felliesweetie it must be exhausting to be this homophobic. It’s relevant because it’s a specific type of content, I am familiar with. Same way Caitlin would often reference “here in Australia”, she isn’t going to say “here in Spain” is she? Seriously get a grip!!
@@felliesweetie I really don’t understand why it bothers you. It is relevant because I am saying we get these cheesy ads too (but with gay couples obviously). You must be a serious homophobic arsehole for this to be your pet peeve. Just let people live
Not everything needs to be on social media. Can’t some moments be sacred? And then really to just lie about aspects of their life- pumping things up, the whole life is so perfect.
I agree. The most special moments with my partner and I are when it's just the two of us. And we keep it that way. Unfortunately, it seems the people in my life with the most unhappy relationships are the ones that post the most about how "amazing" and "wonderful" their life is. It's sad. There is a lot of pressure on social media to be a specific type of couple and it seems to hinder the relationships more than anything.
I've followed the Ikonn couple for so many years, from their beginnings really. So their divorce came as a huge schock. I unfollowed them, because it all felt as a lie. Of course life happens, the thing is that they build their whole career around their love story, preached about love and blabla. Good video.
@@alwayswondering127i don't even know them but just the way she is talking that is the vibe i got! It's that gwyneth Paltrow 'conscious uncoupling' bollocks lol!
I am really shocked how shocked everybody was about the Ikonns divorce. They were so fake since day one and when they had their daughter it went downhill.
My husband and I have been married for 43 years. I have no pictures or videos of our little wedding. But I do have amazing memories of his crazy buddies gifting us a refurbished washing machine because I was pregnant and tired of laundromats. I tell people, put down your phones and BE IN THE MOMENT. 💥
Not everyone has to post everything on social media. I find it so refreshing when I see a pic that’s shared by somebody who doesn’t have a TikTok and doesn’t constantly post selfies and stories about their travels and life…it’s cool because it’s rare! It causes you to pause a moment and reminisce “oh wow, she’s changed a lot since our university days”, etc.
There is one thing that was so impossible for me to not notice…. The body language. When a couple is deeply in love it reflects on a physical level. Essentially everything is sensual and intimate and often precise or delicate. The way she traces her fingers over his wrist. The curve of how his hand settles on her waist. It is missing utterly from each three examples and that sticks out to me as garishly as a clown nose.
Yeah... Like that first couple with the lady the red hair on the boat... When the husband proposed she didn't react like a person who's excited to get married for the first time... She looked like she expected it... Lol they try to lie to us but forget they aren't seasoned actors.
For me, the problem is less the inauthenticity of the influencers, and more how their influence is creating unrealistic, shallow expectations for the rest of us. I constantly see content on social media that says my worth as a man rests entirely on how much money I make, and then how much I spend on dating or relationships. That content is justified by these influencers. “Look at how much he spent on proposing to her, he really loves her. Real men spend lavishly to show their love.” And then it turns out that it was all fake (or at least inauthentic). But the expectations are real, and it’s discouraging.
Good women not only see through the fakeness of lavish (and most likely sponsored) posts of these sort. They also much rather a special, intimate moment. There are women that align with those expectations. You should probably avoid anyways.
to me its getting really hard to believe a straight man planned these amazing proposals lol. if they are great and good for them finding that partner but come on.
The women are 100% the planners of every detail of the type and venue proposal, the ring selection and all for the most view. Saw one couple where her 'dream' was to get engaged in Italy so she planned a whole trip for it and posted for days acting as if she was hoping hoping...and of course it happened and she was sooooo surprised !🙄 Right down to the beach venue and covering her face with both hands in utter shock and elation! Its so gross how forced it is and every single proposal must have the shock hands covering face absurdity.
@@abigailh7715 lol dang, i would hate having to fake excitement and surprise lol. sadly mine was not good at all. we were laying on the couch and he said, lets go to the courthouse tomorrow and we did and that was that.
@@abigailh7715omg my friends daughter did the same without the Italy part. I still haven’t got a straight answer of how she found out he asked her parents for permission but after that she planned the entire “surprise” down to a photographer hiding to get photos. And she did the whole covering her face shock and I felt so bad/weird about it. I wonder If she would have done that before SM. Her engagement was artificial and I wonder if he would have liked to have really surprise her. But her mother has put such a focus on men she has never been single for more than a couple weeks since she was 12. She’s 25 now and was with him only 2 months when he asked her parents. Since then it’s just been wedding planning their entire relationship. And they’re going to try to start for a baby on their honeymoon. They’ve been living with his parents the whole time. I just hope they have at least a year to be alone living together. I just fear the worst. But it’s not my life.
That level of PDA is so nauseating for most ppl to consume. I don’t follow any particular person closely on the internet bc I look from a lens of skepticism and hype. No one should over share to strangers on the internet but that seems to be a concept that escapes attention seekers but there are natural consequences for that, its called internet karma🤨The sleuths will always expose the truth! 🧐
I used to watch Mimi all the time until,she got pregnant, everything shifted to the worst so I just followed her on insta. Then she had the baby and the entitlement comments of her being in tears because the government was not fast enough in providing a passport for their newly born daughter. And she was in tears because they will miss their trip to Positano!! 😂😂😂 omg so out of touch. I unfollowed her. And honestly he always looked gay to me, I hope he gets out of the closet and get a good man.
Yeah I was crazy in love with my fiancé and some happy tears came. But her reaction was one that I’d expect that someone would have if they finally found a donar organ for their terminally I’ll child. She made it look like she had no self worth not being married, like that would fix everything in her life. And that’s sad. There’s no video or pictures of my engagement but it’s so clear in my mind and I was happy I found a man I loved completely who felt the same about me. Why would I want to let strangers in on that? Or who travels with a videographer with them everywhere😂 These couples won’t remember anything except setting everything up and all the work and stress of making these “authentic” moments happen. Not the actual moments.
Another thing that really annoys me is when utubers say this is not a sponsored video, these items were gifted to me and I chose everything off their website, really are you kidding me and then expect us to believe what they say about whatever. I’ve got a sneaky suspicion that they sell it all afterwards on whatever site is going to give them more money. Call me suspicious but I’ve seen too much of this nonsense. My opinion.
Whattttt ! I clicked on this video bcoz of their photo. I was an avid follower of the sisters since luxy hair. Then was a casual viewer but around 2020-21 her positivity seemed too much to me and the vow renewal is what pushed me to literally unsubscribe. But this i didn’t see coming.
These performative proposals make others feel like they have to do the same. My now husband had a plan to propose to me in a concert crowd for the “performance” of it because he thought it was what was expected He ended up not being able to wait and did it in the Airbnb room while our friends and I were getting ready 😂 and it was perfectly not perfect.
Haha my hubby did it when we got to a hotel room for a few days away from the kids. I was trying to get him moving to go out and he kept telling me to just sit still so he could talk to me lmao. Poor guy but he got it out in the end haha 😂
this reminds me of Rachel & David Hollis, then David and Heidi Powell once he and Rachel divorced. Unfortunately David has since passed away, but both relationships were blasted all over social media. Dave & Rachel did marriage conferences and were actively advertising an upcoming one when they suddenly announced their divorce. Dave got with Heidi shortly after breaking up with Rachel and they tried so so hard to portray their relationship as healing, healthy, and perfect. But they broke up several times I believe prior to his passing. He and his partners went above and beyond to make their relationships aspirational and genuine when they just weren’t. It made me sad to watch.
I stopped following the Ikonn’s years ago. There was something so off about those two, he is weird and she seems to be immensely full of herself. The breakup was absolutely no surprise to anyone. That divorce announcement was absolute nonsense as well. I know people who have done the same and the question is always “what are you hiding and why can’t you admit something clearly happened in your marriage?”
Exactly the same! I used to watch her all the time. Until she got pregnant was a massive shift, for the worst, then her entitlement comments in Instagram complaining in tears! about the government not giving her daughter a passport fast enough for their holiday in Positano got me like …. There are people dying Mimi 😂 btw their baby was almost newborn.
@@SwanTheQueen I must’ve missed that and unfollowed before as she was just insufferable and came across like a massive, massive narcissist. Entitled is a good description of her. She’s very in love with herself. Dreadful woman.
I can second this 🙋🏼♀️ I followed Mimi and Layla also when they had channel here on RUclips but exactly when she got pregnant, moved and stopped making videos with Layla something changed in her..she seems off. Alex is way out of her league and I think he cheated on her…that makes sense honestly she let herself get too much. In any case i am happy for him he deserves better!
I am so happy I found your content. For the longest time I've been struggling with trying to log off and be happy with where I am in life right now. I deleted most of my accounts and I am happy about it. I would get depressed watching these influencer relationships and it was hard to not compare myself. I felt like I wasn't pretty enough for that type of "love" and I am proud of myself for getting out of that mindset. Sometimes I still feel lonely and overwhelming sad that I am not even close to getting married but I am learning to trust the process and be ok with the thought that I might not ever get that type of life. I do understand some of these people aren't doing as well as they like us to believe. ❤
LOL. When my fiancé proposed to me, I did not cry.. I was genuinely so happy but seeing people like the second girl having a complete breakdown is so extra🤣 I know we all react differently but the dramatics are hilarious
I proposed to my boyfriend in bed while we were cuddling. 🤣 It wasn't particularly romantic and neither of us cried, but we're getting married July 6th!
@@marnie9063I think that sounds pretty romantic. Laying in bed cuddling over the lights and balloons and candles not to mention the strangers hanging around waiting to take it all down lol. You had a very loving intimate proposal. All the best for your marriage!😊
okay I know I'm late to the party lol forgive me! 12:34 I feel like this is even beyond the stupid excuse of "lying by omission," which is STILL lying btw lol if she casually mentioned, "I can't wait for the wedding," that could even be considered a TECHNICAL truth if someone got married at a courthouse but then had a separate wedding celebration. I guess I could make sense of that. but THIS is just next level! I saw a DV survivor acting out the HORRIFIC experiences of her life as if they were in real-time & she had so many people hysterically worrying about her. come to find out, she "reenacts" crazy experiences she's had as if it's REALLY happening in order to "bring attention to her page & the plight of DV survivors." as a DV survivor, I call bullshit. I find it despicable, any way you try to dress it up. but maybe some people love it - to each their own! just wanted to share my POV. xx 💙
I followed Mimi on RUclips untill she stopped making videos and turned to podcasting. I have a relationship where me and my partner are very lovey dovey in public, but even more in private. It is very similar to what I saw in her and Alex. But in my relationship there are also problems and arguments. Just like me and my BF don't argue in public in front of other people, influencers do the same in not sharing the bad parts of the relationship. I am sad and confused why Mimi and Alex split up, but having a 16 year relationship is a huge achievement. I never had one this long, and I am the same age as Mimi, but never been married and never had kids... Another point I want to make is the opposite: when a person keeps complaining about the bad parts of their relationship to friends and family, they will also get a distorted view, because they don't hear about the good parts.
Love the channel and know you’re going to BLOW UP! Glad I found your channel recently and of course subscribed! On another note- I am baffled at why people are interested in people showboating their lives and relationships. The engagement video looked like an advert. A forgettable, cliche, staged advert. It didn’t even look genuine as you can notice when he “gets down on one knee”- devoid of emotion. It’s so bizarre to me how seemingly the most important part of the relationship is the aesthetics and public facing image. I think there’s been studies into this phenomenon and the people most concerned with how their relationship looks and most likely to have relationship breakdowns. Let’s be serious. Nothing that polished is real. That’s not real life away from staging. It’s choreographed, pre-planned and meticulously presented.
Did anyone actually ever believe she was "shocked" when she had the white dress and the perfect makeup on, while bringing a photographer (!) when going swimming with her boyfriend?...
I think you should never compare yourself or your life to an influencer's. It's just a brief, well curated perfect moment you're seeing. We've been seeing these relationships unfold in the last few years: Alexis Sharkey getting murdered, Brittany Vasseur's divorce turning nasty among others. Influencers - the women - getting sponsorships for their "surprise" proposal "they knew nothing about beforehand" etc. An influencer's life is like when you bite a piece off an apple and then turn the apple around. It looks perfect from that angle, but the other side is missing a big chunk. And what they are showing you is that perfect side of things. Don't fall for it! PS. Also, what I've seen to be true is that the bigger the romantic gestures and the wedding, the more spectacular the downfall.
I think the issue with (some) influencers is that they are selling fantasy as reality. When you see a movie, assuming it's not a documentary, you are well aware that it is fake. And that's half the fun, being able to suspend reality for a couple of hours. But influencers want you to think that this fantasy IS reality, and while it can be for some, it isn't for the vast majority of people. Influencers are considered to be "relatable" (relative to Hollywood celebrities and such) so if you see an influencer do it, you assume it should be achievable for you. But the fact of the matter is, it's not. If more influencers were honest about this (like some fitness influencers are coming out about how they pose for IG or some influencers coming out about their plastic surgery), then I think it would help some. It's easier to tell yourself not to compare because you know the content is most likely fake. But when you're in the middle of a spiral, that means virtually nothing, especially if the content is sold so hard as being genuine.
love your work! You literally verbalise everything I’m thinking, and obviously do the same for your audience so just wanted to say thanks for these awesome vids that showcase everything we’re thinking!
Shannon, the first case study, was actually on a reality show called Very Cavalleri. She was the social media marketer for Kristin Cavalleri's company Uncommon James. And she was fired for essentially dropping the ball constantly doing things like missing prime post items, not posting about sales, and coming to work super late. And it was brought up ALOT that the different facets of her life don't line up. I just thought it was a point worth mentioning 😅
Such a mature and refreshing statement from that last couple! At the end of the day we don’t own people. We only experience each other and unfortunately all things come to an end eventually. Their statement seemed very authentic and well thought out. 16 years is a hell of long time to spend with someone growing apart is 100% possible. Where they went wrong was posting as if things perfect up til the divorce announcement. As someone who is divorced I may take a page out their book and not pledge forever in my next marriage lol cuz baby life ain’t no fairytale
In regards to Mimi & Alex, I remember them from their Luxy Hair days and their ex-friend Ujay ( not sure of the spelling) was actually the creator of the journal and went to them looking for partners, I believe. I was involved with someone who was close to Mimi's sister's husband, Dimitri, here in Toronto. A couple months back I was on a Mimi & Alex snark page (kinda weird I know😊) and they were pointing out how Alex is 'living his best single life now', going from retreat to retreat , not being physically present with his daughter. That made me incredibly sad for the child. I don't follow either of their lives or brands but they seem to have been very, very lucky & successful in business.
To me there’s a spectrum of what it means to be an influencer. Someone like Shannon Ford (who I’d never of heard so I’m just basing this on your video) seems more like reality tv. Reality tv is very much staged and scripted but because the stars aren’t actors we call it real. This staged engagement feels like that kind of programming to me.
Exactly!! Marketing is marketing, whether it’s on TV, online or the next wave of marketing once we’re done with influencers. I think we should have more of that conversation instead of making it seem like it’s only an influencer thing. This has been going on for ages and will continue to go on!
Oh hun! The last part was epic! Sweating talking about people! 😂😂…Lived ur video it wasn’t judgement but you stated facts! Social media has become so toxic!
Im super into public love. Without a phone. Like when I saw my husband for the first time since he went to basic, I didn't care where we were, or who saw. We were in our own little world, there was no worries about what we looked like, or who saw. When people are trying to stage it, it's weird, but I love genuine little moments
People have courthouse weddings for all sorts of reasons. If she didn’t get to have a romantic proposal and wedding in front of friends and family, there’s literally nothing wrong with this and the planning for a ceremony is legitimate. Marriage certificates are sometimes signed before the “real” wedding.
I totally agree that the audience doesn't really want authenticity. 99.999% of influencer videos are staged and at this point is getting obvious. The wedding proposal in front of the chateau in impeccable clothes and styling was so obviously staged that it should be used as an IQ test.
This is such an interesting video. I’m loving the content you’re putting out. I was completely shocked when the ikonns separated. I did feel like I was duped because if your promoting a channel of authenticity, and your monetizing your relationship, then you do owe your audience transparency. Influencers can’t expect to sell a vision/product and then demand the audience not to pry into their life, when they are monetizing their life story. I disagree when you said influencers are not responsible for how the viewer feels /respond. Influencers are unique in that they must rely on their personality. They must create a connection with the viewer to be successful. They are not a celebrity, from the start the viewer knows this person is playing a character in a movie, song etc etc. this doesn’t apply to influencers. I believe that as we get older we are able to discern social media isn’t real. But younger generations know only virtual reality? So where is the accountability?
I completely agree. Only today i was discussing this with my sister regarding the mid 20s crowd of Influencers of India who are earning millions or at least their lives seem so. What irks me most is they wl share every last detail even their kiss with the world and then when they break up its suddenly personal and they can’t go into detail. Like you have literally made your lives the content which you are selling to your followers, it’s also beyond insane the amount of breakups/divorces we are seeing here.
Also yes i hold celebrity like actors and singers to a different standard coz they literally are known for their performance. We know its staged and ryan gosling is not Noah 😂
My teenage daughter thinks everyone's rich enough to throw money in the air. That everyone lives in huge expensive houses. Everyone has an iPhone and the latest "it" sneakers or clothes. Van Cleefs and Cartier. She wants all of that too. 😂 But you know what, in a way, it might end up being a good lesson for teens to learn that everyone lies
I wholeheartedly agree that viewers really are not looking for authenticity. They want to be told what they want to hear, sold a fantasy and distracted by drama. We see that to be true because those type of channels get the most traction. Whereas authentic people often go overlooked. I can’t blame people for playing the social media game. If a fantasy is what’s going to make you money I can see why it’s alluring to take that route if it means having your bills paid at the end of the day.
This is why I don't follow any influencers on SM. They are all salespeople, selling a life that no one ,even themselves, are living. It's entertainment, not to be copied. Don't be fooled, y'all.
Being in a relationship for 20 years and married for 11 years. People ask me where the pictures are from my engagement and I don’t have any. I have it in my memorie. That is the most important thing. Because it is our relationship. And some things we keep private. And I post some things online when we do some things. But also post things when we have not so good of a day. Just keep it real. ❤❤❤
It is called private life for a reason. There is something sacred about keeping certain things to yourself and not sharing, being selfish in that respect. Because at the end of the day there is not authenticity when you have a camera over your head whether planned or not planned. It is simply for the clicks, and hence not real.
What I always think about is how weird it must be to be a boyfriend or husband of one of these influencers and have to go along with this stuff all the time. Even the stuff that is real, I'd think it would get super annoying to have to have everything filmed.
i love how they go for all the Hollywood romance tropes. and notice how they're all perfectly lit: they're filmed at the golden hour & we're to believe none of this is staged. meanwhile in Hollywood, the “Tabloid Era” slebs call the paps on themselves because they wouldn't be caught dedd sharing PDA on socials like the influencer-peasants, so they have to pretend the paparazzi still care who they're dating 🤡💀💀 (to be fair, like you said on 20:46 sometimes it's the apparently-very-thirsty partner who organised it all - only they & God know the truth). i'm older & wiser enough to know it's fake & to not compare myself, but back when i didn't know what's meant to be “normal” in relationships, i used to mimic what i thought was “normal” dating behaviour & now i'm SUPER EMBARRASSED that i did (i've never been in a long-term relationships, i show symptoms of being on the Spectrum such as not knowing when a man wants me to invite him to my dorm room, etc.) anyway, i don't believe influencers should be responsible for how they make us feel, but i'm also not responsible for how i feel about them (which usually consists of me side-eyeing anything they peddle & speaking up when they steal my content as a smaller creator). i'm predicting the next big flex isn't any real “luxury” but just the ability to just say, “i bought this with my own money & here are my honest thoughts as a paying customer with consumer rights, and therefore my content is trustworthy.” (even if i have to keep a day-job to “fund” my channel lol) “influencer fatigue” is real & i'm already skipping sponsorship shoutouts on RUclips (i also have RUclips Premium just so i don't see ads, it's a great investment considering how consumptive i would otherwise have been had i were exposed to BS commercials). a while back, i used to watch an ASMR channel run by this r*cist AF guy from an American Southern state (the guy was both v*olently Isl*mophobic & Sinophobic - both affect me, i've got Southern Vietnamese ancestry) and his sponsors just DID NOT CARE that he was making these horrific real-f*rm-arm videos about harming Muslims. he would start posting lazy videos just for the sponsors. whenever i see another youtuber with the same brands, i not only skip the sponsorship segments, i am literally too traumatised to watch them, and i would NEVER touch that brand now. I feel like right now companies turn a blind-eye on bad behaviour (some even seem to encourage it, or at least enable drama, fakery, and even plagiarism), but soon & once they realise how these influencers have people skipping their products altogether, maybe they'll just go back to the traditional way of marketing. i'd rather follow a BRAND account directly than follow influencers, brands may lie but it doesn't feel as disingenuous as when influencers lie (it's as if there's an added layer of lies when influencers are involved) it's such a dumb cycle: they give free thing to influencer/RUclipsr, who then lies in hopes of getting more free sh*t in the future, i know they lie so i don't trust them (and in some cases i become allergic to the brand due to their association with bad-behaving influencers). what's the point of this anymore? anyway thanks for making this video 🙏🙏
Great video and thanks for brining attention to this :-) Your comment about marriage being a lifetime commitment really surprised me though. I understand that is traditionally what marriage is supposed to be, although I think it makes more logical sense to recognize, from the beginning of a marriage, that things happen, and people change, and that separation is a possibility in every relationship. I think it shows maturity that they acknowledged this from the beginning of their marriage
Of course everyone is aware of the possibility of divorce. But going into a marriage, and not promising the forever at the wedding? It's like your saying, I love you but I'm carefull so I will have a backup plan. Why get married if you already think (or know) it's not forever?
A random side story, I thought I was engaged when my husband asked me to marry him. Cuz we had been talking about getting married, and he casually asked me if I would want to marry him before then. I thought we were already like casually engaged. So when he planned this big day where I flew out to Texas to visit him while he was in tech school, and we stayed in a hotel room, he brought me all over and we just had a big adventure. Adventure spent the day laughing, and then he proposed with a hand carved ring at sunset, every three words I was saying yes, while he went on a long speech about loving me. And I was going to do the thing where you get married on paper and have a wedding in like 3 years, and then my mom blew up at me because my husband is military and it makes the most sense for us to be married, she was mad that she wasn't invited. Anyway she threw a temper tantrum and tried to get my child taken away because how dare I move on with my life? So we're no contact with my parents, and it was an upsetting fight and we're never doing a ceremony, because eff you mom I'm happy without a wedding. I hate parties, so I'm happy. We had a baby recently,
It's really hard to believe that your boyfriend would pull off a 3-day engagement in different cities and that by the 3rd day you would still be jumping up and down with excitement. I would think the excitement might wear off after the first day as you already know what's coming. You would still be excited, but not hysterical about it for 3 days..... I have watched a lot of these videos and now have stopped watching them when they show up because I think it sets the bar extremely high for a guy that might be very much in love with you and might not have the means to pull these things off. My husband and I are very happily married and we didn't have any engagement like this, we just kind of talked about getting married and then watching these videos has made me yearn for a beautiful proposal that I know in our situation might not have been feasible as we were both university students then.
I always had the impression that she didn't want kids. She got pregnant soon after her sister got pregnant, and it didn't sit right with me, for some reason..
I don't understand why it is so shocking as influencer is a job and has to make money. It's not abou9t being authentic. So many authentic channels have zero sponsorships and very little followers because they are not as artificially engaging. It's just business.
Mimi and Alix something I never saw coming - but the perfection performance always made me give my partners more grace - because who really knows how good it was
It's so strange, I used to watch Mimi BACKKK in the day when they owned a hair extension company(???) and like, as it is, I naturally stopped watching around the time their daughter came into the picture. But I was thinking about them recently as we do for the creators we used to follow and stopped as we grew up... it's so interesting, but nice to see that they still seem to be wholesome open people they used to portray back in the day too
Personally, when I see a person begin to use their relationship as content, it’s always a red flag for me. It also means that that person will continue to use their partner as a prop for likes, clicks, views and attention even as it falls apart. They are just that much more incentivized to keep the charade going because it is business. And quite frankly, perhaps it always was. I often wonder if their social media presence even affected or influenced who they chose to marry. It’s such a bizarre thing to use for attention and smacks of disingenuousness and manipulation.
I can’t believe this is what Shannon has let become of her life. She had the right guy and couldn’t see it and has tried so hard to force James to look like her perfect love story when that’s clearly not the case. She had something special to her personality & online presence and now just repeatedly looks like a fool. It is a true shame.
Usually when i am watching couples in youtube it is because they are travelers or whatever else first. I do think in the back of my head “ it would be sad if they broke up.” But so far the ones i have watched have actually progressed and got married and some have had kids and some have built their own home. So so far i haven’t seen a break up yet. But it is like the bachelor and bachelorette that you never know when or if these couples will last and that show is so romantic like these videos you showed here today. Like i think there are only 3 bachelorettes now still married to their one and also the same with the bachelors. The rest have moved on and a couple have gotten divorced. That is what this couples influencer stuff reminds me of is that show and how low the success rate is there and that could be here.
I honestly don’t get the whole proposal thing and why it’s such a big deal. In my own perspective, getting married is a decision the couple should make together, and getting there is propelled through conversations you’ll have together. I don’t get the “woman waiting for boyfriend to propose.” “When is it gonna be?” “It’s been 12 years.. he hasn’t proposed..” On my end, we talked marriage often, and we often asked ourselves if we were ready.. in some conversations, we knew we were not, and in more recent ones, we agreed we were. We did not wait for him to plan a surprise proposal or anything like that. We just started planning the wedding and got things done. Looking back, I did tell him that I wouldn’t want a suprise proposal because why? Why would I want such a serious question to be asked in surpise? I wouldn’t want to be pressured in saying Yes just because.. and why would I have to make that decision in a split second? Why is it up to the man to determine the “right time” to propose?
Hey Caitlin, please don't feel pressured to be nicer. I love mean Caitlin! 😂 No, but seriously, this world is so full of toxic positivity, dishonesty and people pleasing, that we need more people who are kind to the right people but call out unkind/dishonest/etc. people! ❤(especially if they are public figures/influencers)
Great listening i think influencers have to make these weddings proposals look perfect because otherwise most people wouldnt watch the videos its a show and people are their audience
No, actually i always tried to be different... if people liked red I was going for green... Never wanted to be like others yet compare myself to. I want to be different! That Engagement Video is so kitschy - and I don't believe she didn't know...
The extremely public proposals just seem so disingenuous. They are so cringey.
Yeah like they are trying to put on a show. Haha
When I get married I want an extremely private proposal. Just him and I
I told my husband not to propose to me in public or around a big group of people. He proposed to me in our hotel room, just the two of us and it was lovely!
Absolutely!
no one found it a lil...odd that there's a camera person taking constant videos of their lovey dovey moments? it's just a production at that point. How many takes did it take?
Well, if you think about it as a "real" time soap opera, you get their angle. It's a way to make money.
I always wonder who is taken the video. Imagine you kissing and having a moment with your husband and someone is recording all the time!!! It's so fake please....
I ate a meal out months ago and there were some influencers or just people who care a lot about what they look like taking a video with the girls giving another girl some cupcakes for her brithday.... She recorded it about 6 times doing the reaction to getting her cakes. It was embarrassing to see!!
YES
Your relationship is between you and your partner. That’s it. Two people. If you’re truly so happy together, there is no need or desire to brag about it to other people. Your most intimate relationship is something to protect, nurture and cherish, not blast all over social media for strangers.
Could not agree more. I find it all rather gross and cringeworthy. I also think it's the ultimate in fakery.
Exactly
@@flohough1870 agree. I feel the same way about people posting pregnancy photos. I feel like I’m intruding on something intimate.
This is something I learnt the hard way with my first relationship.
I agree
Jumping in the lake isn’t the first thing I would do with my new diamond ring.
It is when your ring was free from Brilliant Earth and your doing it as part of your sponsorship agreement 🤣
@@BlendedBarbieDoll bahahaha touché
@@BlendedBarbieDoll 💀
lol right?!
I saw a RUclipsr that showed her “engagement surprise video”.
Her boyfriend pulled the engagement ring OUT OF HER POCKET before bending down on his knee.
Talk about a cringe worthy moment. 😂😂😂
Which RUclipsr is it?
Do you mean Alexandra Rodriguez?😅
@@peppermintpatti665 🏆👍🏼😀
Was it actually real?!! I’ve seen the video and can’t figure out if was true or not.
@@peppermintpatti665 🏆👍🏼
The Ikonns always seemed so fake to me! They were so smug, self-righteous, and condescending. So I’m not at all surprised to learn that their depiction of a “perfect” marriage was fake too. That guy’s gonna be leading a cult any day now, something about him always gave me the creeps.
😂 I absolutely agree!
I used to be such a fan 10-8 years ago or so and then they started spouting Brexit and Trump ideological bullshit and my rose-tinted glasses fell off. And then I saw that they do not look happy at all, just rich.
Yesssss the ikons always made me cringe. Once Alex was vlogging and mimi didn’t know and he called her and the way she spoke to him was so dark cold and condescending. Then when he told her he was vlogging her tone changed.
Mimi always gave me the ick, I always liked Alex thought he was the genuine one
They're just as fake as those hair extensions
They are so extremely boring. Their house looks boring, they wear boring clothes ... same old shit for yeaaars
„She didn’t technically lie…“
Dude, she absolutely DID lie 😂
TRUTH!! She's straight up a liar!
Once I see the girl matching her clothes to the setting then I know straight away she’s always known what was going to happen and has dressed for the ‘surprise’ engagement 😆
I dated my husband for 10 years before we got married. We separated 6 years into the marriage. We managed to salvage our relationship, but it took a lot of internal reflection and learning to accept each other for who we were authentically. Knowing when you need time and space to recalibrate is important. Marriage can be wonderful, but maybe we need to start normalizing the struggles that everyone faces in relationships. It has been 17 years of marriage and 10 years of dating and we still have things to learn. However, I think we have grown up with these fairytale notions and want this fantasy to be reflected back to us. This is why movies always show happy endings because that is what people want to see.
So beautiful I wish your family the best❤🥹
Phewwwww ain’t that the truth 🔥
I think she was right that people don’t like authenticity because as soon as someone shares they have problems people start criticizing them for over sharing.
KUDOS for making it work! YOU should be an influencer. Surviving a separation is heroic at this point.
Couples therapy on showtime is popular for this exact reason. It's so good and has helped me reflect on hard times in my own relationship
Bingo! Fairytale are to blame abd they were pushed on us girls and women to brainwash to desire and dream of being with one male for life, whilst putting up with all the nonsense, domestic work and BS that comes with being stuck with one man until you can't don it anymore or he cheats on you 😮
These “influencers” are killing reality; particularly for young women in this country. If people decide to get married (or not, bc not everyone needs to be married and can be happy) what is important is NOT the ring, the venue, the scenery, it is the relationship.
Marriage is NOT important anymore, ladies. In fact, it was never important. It was never made for us women. It has always been a business transaction to benefit the man 😮
Probably every country
You are 100% correct, as a matter of fact, I have met lots of couples that are having arguments before even getting married because of the lavish wedding they are trying to pull off. One of them actually got divorced a month into their marriage because the wedding caused them so much stress. So, definitely not worth it unless you actually have lots of money and pulling off a wedding like this is not going to make you broke or lose all your savings that you could be putting into a house or somewhere else.
"This country"? You must be american, because normal people don't assume everybody else online is from "this country".
Absolutely, I think a lot of people forget that!
Yet to start the video but as a gay man I get fed these “perfect couple” content constantly and it’s honestly draining, must be more draining to create it. The title got me thinking how many are fake or incredibly highly staged
Interesting because my pet peeve is people who keep bringing up their sexuality even when it is not relevant. Like this case for example🤷♂️
@@felliesweetie it must be exhausting to be this homophobic. It’s relevant because it’s a specific type of content, I am familiar with. Same way Caitlin would often reference “here in Australia”, she isn’t going to say “here in Spain” is she? Seriously get a grip!!
@@felliesweetie that sounds like a you problem tbh. What a stupid thing to be bothered by. Sounds like homophobia to me
@@felliesweetie I really don’t understand why it bothers you. It is relevant because I am saying we get these cheesy ads too (but with gay couples obviously). You must be a serious homophobic arsehole for this to be your pet peeve. Just let people live
@@felliesweetie
It’s draining for sure!
Not everything needs to be on social media. Can’t some moments be sacred? And then really to just lie about aspects of their life- pumping things up, the whole life is so perfect.
I agree. The most special moments with my partner and I are when it's just the two of us. And we keep it that way. Unfortunately, it seems the people in my life with the most unhappy relationships are the ones that post the most about how "amazing" and "wonderful" their life is. It's sad. There is a lot of pressure on social media to be a specific type of couple and it seems to hinder the relationships more than anything.
I've followed the Ikonn couple for so many years, from their beginnings really. So their divorce came as a huge schock. I unfollowed them, because it all felt as a lie. Of course life happens, the thing is that they build their whole career around their love story, preached about love and blabla. Good video.
I completely agree.
For me Mimi always came across as a bit false, I wasn’t all too shocked by the split.
I enjoyed their videos for a while, but the toxic positivity, questionable parenting and other factors drove me away years ago.
@@alwayswondering127i don't even know them but just the way she is talking that is the vibe i got! It's that gwyneth Paltrow 'conscious uncoupling' bollocks lol!
I am really shocked how shocked everybody was about the Ikonns divorce. They were so fake since day one and when they had their daughter it went downhill.
These couples really filter the heck out of themselves. They look so different without filters.
They filter everything... their faces, their bodies, their emotions, their "achievements". Everything is a show.
My husband and I have been married for 43 years. I have no pictures or videos of our little wedding. But I do have amazing memories of his crazy buddies gifting us a refurbished washing machine because I was pregnant and tired of laundromats. I tell people, put down your phones and BE IN THE MOMENT. 💥
My sibling and I cherish the our parents wedding pictures because we don’t have any memories of them being happy.
BEST COMMENT EVER👍😀❤️
I wish I had a memory like yours! lol everything in moderation though.
Staying together doesn’t necessarily indicates a happy marriage. But i’m glad some people are lucky enough to live it.
Not everyone has to post everything on social media. I find it so refreshing when I see a pic that’s shared by somebody who doesn’t have a TikTok and doesn’t constantly post selfies and stories about their travels and life…it’s cool because it’s rare! It causes you to pause a moment and reminisce “oh wow, she’s changed a lot since our university days”, etc.
There is one thing that was so impossible for me to not notice…. The body language. When a couple is deeply in love it reflects on a physical level. Essentially everything is sensual and intimate and often precise or delicate. The way she traces her fingers over his wrist. The curve of how his hand settles on her waist. It is missing utterly from each three examples and that sticks out to me as garishly as a clown nose.
I follow Shannon Ford and I can assure you you’re 100% correct. Her husband clearly can’t stand her and isn’t attracted to her. Good observation!
@@elisejones2973he will dump her after getting the green card
Yeah... Like that first couple with the lady the red hair on the boat... When the husband proposed she didn't react like a person who's excited to get married for the first time... She looked like she expected it... Lol they try to lie to us but forget they aren't seasoned actors.
For me, the problem is less the inauthenticity of the influencers, and more how their influence is creating unrealistic, shallow expectations for the rest of us. I constantly see content on social media that says my worth as a man rests entirely on how much money I make, and then how much I spend on dating or relationships. That content is justified by these influencers. “Look at how much he spent on proposing to her, he really loves her. Real men spend lavishly to show their love.” And then it turns out that it was all fake (or at least inauthentic). But the expectations are real, and it’s discouraging.
Good women not only see through the fakeness of lavish (and most likely sponsored) posts of these sort. They also much rather a special, intimate moment. There are women that align with those expectations. You should probably avoid anyways.
💯
The crying woman in the second one looks like she’s having a bad acid trip.
to me its getting really hard to believe a straight man planned these amazing proposals lol. if they are great and good for them finding that partner but come on.
This is making me laugh so bad😂😂😂😂
Shannon Fords husband is gay so this checks out 😂
The women are 100% the planners of every detail of the type and venue proposal, the ring selection and all for the most view. Saw one couple where her 'dream' was to get engaged in Italy so she planned a whole trip for it and posted for days acting as if she was hoping hoping...and of course it happened and she was sooooo surprised !🙄 Right down to the beach venue and covering her face with both hands in utter shock and elation! Its so gross how forced it is and every single proposal must have the shock hands covering face absurdity.
@@abigailh7715 lol dang, i would hate having to fake excitement and surprise lol. sadly mine was not good at all. we were laying on the couch and he said, lets go to the courthouse tomorrow and we did and that was that.
@@abigailh7715omg my friends daughter did the same without the Italy part. I still haven’t got a straight answer of how she found out he asked her parents for permission but after that she planned the entire “surprise” down to a photographer hiding to get photos. And she did the whole covering her face shock and I felt so bad/weird about it. I wonder If she would have done that before SM. Her engagement was artificial and I wonder if he would have liked to have really surprise her. But her mother has put such a focus on men she has never been single for more than a couple weeks since she was 12. She’s 25 now and was with him only 2 months when he asked her parents. Since then it’s just been wedding planning their entire relationship. And they’re going to try to start for a baby on their honeymoon. They’ve been living with his parents the whole time. I just hope they have at least a year to be alone living together. I just fear the worst. But it’s not my life.
That level of PDA is so nauseating for most ppl to consume. I don’t follow any particular person closely on the internet bc I look from a lens of skepticism and hype. No one should over share to strangers on the internet but that seems to be a concept that escapes attention seekers but there are natural consequences for that, its called internet karma🤨The sleuths will always expose the truth! 🧐
No such thing as karma 😊
I used to watch Mimi all the time until,she got pregnant, everything shifted to the worst so I just followed her on insta. Then she had the baby and the entitlement comments of her being in tears because the government was not fast enough in providing a passport for their newly born daughter. And she was in tears because they will miss their trip to Positano!! 😂😂😂 omg so out of touch. I unfollowed her. And honestly he always looked gay to me, I hope he gets out of the closet and get a good man.
😂😂😂
Wow. This is wild! And sad. I agree... the proposal in front of the mansion and the fake ugly cry face was too much.
Yeah I was crazy in love with my fiancé and some happy tears came. But her reaction was one that I’d expect that someone would have if they finally found a donar organ for their terminally I’ll child. She made it look like she had no self worth not being married, like that would fix everything in her life. And that’s sad.
There’s no video or pictures of my engagement but it’s so clear in my mind and I was happy I found a man I loved completely who felt the same about me. Why would I want to let strangers in on that? Or who travels with a videographer with them everywhere😂 These couples won’t remember anything except setting everything up and all the work and stress of making these “authentic” moments happen. Not the actual moments.
Another thing that really annoys me is when utubers say this is not a sponsored video, these items were gifted to me and I chose everything off their website, really are you kidding me and then expect us to believe what they say about whatever. I’ve got a sneaky suspicion that they sell it all afterwards on whatever site is going to give them more money. Call me suspicious but I’ve seen too much of this nonsense. My opinion.
I never yelled so loud in shock when I heard Mimi ikohn got a divorce
Same
Me too!!!!
Me too!!!!😮💨
Whattttt ! I clicked on this video bcoz of their photo. I was an avid follower of the sisters since luxy hair. Then was a casual viewer but around 2020-21 her positivity seemed too much to me and the vow renewal is what pushed me to literally unsubscribe. But this i didn’t see coming.
Wow! I did not know Mimi Ikonn got a divorce! Her and her ex were so bloody smug.
These performative proposals make others feel like they have to do the same.
My now husband had a plan to propose to me in a concert crowd for the “performance” of it because he thought it was what was expected
He ended up not being able to wait and did it in the Airbnb room while our friends and I were getting ready 😂 and it was perfectly not perfect.
Haha my hubby did it when we got to a hotel room for a few days away from the kids. I was trying to get him moving to go out and he kept telling me to just sit still so he could talk to me lmao. Poor guy but he got it out in the end haha 😂
I think influencer or not, it's so weird to film and post your proposal, is nothing private??
this reminds me of Rachel & David Hollis, then David and Heidi Powell once he and Rachel divorced. Unfortunately David has since passed away, but both relationships were blasted all over social media. Dave & Rachel did marriage conferences and were actively advertising an upcoming one when they suddenly announced their divorce. Dave got with Heidi shortly after breaking up with Rachel and they tried so so hard to portray their relationship as healing, healthy, and perfect. But they broke up several times I believe prior to his passing. He and his partners went above and beyond to make their relationships aspirational and genuine when they just weren’t. It made me sad to watch.
I stopped following the Ikonn’s years ago. There was something so off about those two, he is weird and she seems to be immensely full of herself. The breakup was absolutely no surprise to anyone. That divorce announcement was absolute nonsense as well. I know people who have done the same and the question is always “what are you hiding and why can’t you admit something clearly happened in your marriage?”
Exactly the same! I used to watch her all the time. Until she got pregnant was a massive shift, for the worst, then her entitlement comments in Instagram complaining in tears! about the government not giving her daughter a passport fast enough for their holiday in Positano got me like …. There are people dying Mimi 😂 btw their baby was almost newborn.
@@SwanTheQueen I must’ve missed that and unfollowed before as she was just insufferable and came across like a massive, massive narcissist. Entitled is a good description of her. She’s very in love with herself. Dreadful woman.
I can second this 🙋🏼♀️ I followed Mimi and Layla also when they had channel here on RUclips but exactly when she got pregnant, moved and stopped making videos with Layla something changed in her..she seems off. Alex is way out of her league and I think he cheated on her…that makes sense honestly she let herself get too much.
In any case i am happy for him he deserves better!
I also think mimi maybe a lesbian
@@Perfectgirl-un8moAlex is absolutely not out of her league. He’s unattractive and gives off major gay vibes.
I am so happy I found your content. For the longest time I've been struggling with trying to log off and be happy with where I am in life right now. I deleted most of my accounts and I am happy about it. I would get depressed watching these influencer relationships and it was hard to not compare myself. I felt like I wasn't pretty enough for that type of "love" and I am proud of myself for getting out of that mindset. Sometimes I still feel lonely and overwhelming sad that I am not even close to getting married but I am learning to trust the process and be ok with the thought that I might not ever get that type of life. I do understand some of these people aren't doing as well as they like us to believe. ❤
Thank you so, so, so much for covering this!
LOL. When my fiancé proposed to me, I did not cry.. I was genuinely so happy but seeing people like the second girl having a complete breakdown is so extra🤣 I know we all react differently but the dramatics are hilarious
I proposed to my boyfriend in bed while we were cuddling. 🤣 It wasn't particularly romantic and neither of us cried, but we're getting married July 6th!
@@marnie9063I think that sounds pretty romantic. Laying in bed cuddling over the lights and balloons and candles not to mention the strangers hanging around waiting to take it all down lol. You had a very loving intimate proposal. All the best for your marriage!😊
okay I know I'm late to the party lol forgive me!
12:34
I feel like this is even beyond the stupid excuse of "lying by omission," which is STILL lying btw lol
if she casually mentioned, "I can't wait for the wedding," that could even be considered a TECHNICAL truth if someone got married at a courthouse but then had a separate wedding celebration. I guess I could make sense of that. but THIS is just next level!
I saw a DV survivor acting out the HORRIFIC experiences of her life as if they were in real-time & she had so many people hysterically worrying about her.
come to find out, she "reenacts" crazy experiences she's had as if it's REALLY happening in order to "bring attention to her page & the plight of DV survivors."
as a DV survivor, I call bullshit. I find it despicable, any way you try to dress it up. but maybe some people love it - to each their own! just wanted to share my POV. xx 💙
I followed Mimi on RUclips untill she stopped making videos and turned to podcasting. I have a relationship where me and my partner are very lovey dovey in public, but even more in private. It is very similar to what I saw in her and Alex. But in my relationship there are also problems and arguments. Just like me and my BF don't argue in public in front of other people, influencers do the same in not sharing the bad parts of the relationship. I am sad and confused why Mimi and Alex split up, but having a 16 year relationship is a huge achievement. I never had one this long, and I am the same age as Mimi, but never been married and never had kids...
Another point I want to make is the opposite: when a person keeps complaining about the bad parts of their relationship to friends and family, they will also get a distorted view, because they don't hear about the good parts.
Love the channel and know you’re going to BLOW UP!
Glad I found your channel recently and of course subscribed!
On another note-
I am baffled at why people are interested in people showboating their lives and relationships.
The engagement video looked like an advert. A forgettable, cliche, staged advert.
It didn’t even look genuine as you can notice when he “gets down on one knee”- devoid of emotion.
It’s so bizarre to me how seemingly the most important part of the relationship is the aesthetics and public facing image.
I think there’s been studies into this phenomenon and the people most concerned with how their relationship looks and most likely to have relationship breakdowns. Let’s be serious. Nothing that polished is real. That’s not real life away from staging.
It’s choreographed, pre-planned and meticulously presented.
Did anyone actually ever believe she was "shocked" when she had the white dress and the perfect makeup on, while bringing a photographer (!) when going swimming with her boyfriend?...
Yep, I thought the same thing.
I used to watch Mini Ikonn years ago, I can’t remember why I stopped.
19:50 - 100% agree on this!!
People prefer to think that they looking for authenticity. But they still looking for the clear and ideal picture.
I think you should never compare yourself or your life to an influencer's. It's just a brief, well curated perfect moment you're seeing. We've been seeing these relationships unfold in the last few years: Alexis Sharkey getting murdered, Brittany Vasseur's divorce turning nasty among others. Influencers - the women - getting sponsorships for their "surprise" proposal "they knew nothing about beforehand" etc.
An influencer's life is like when you bite a piece off an apple and then turn the apple around. It looks perfect from that angle, but the other side is missing a big chunk. And what they are showing you is that perfect side of things. Don't fall for it!
PS. Also, what I've seen to be true is that the bigger the romantic gestures and the wedding, the more spectacular the downfall.
The higher you fly, the lower you fall!
I think the issue with (some) influencers is that they are selling fantasy as reality. When you see a movie, assuming it's not a documentary, you are well aware that it is fake. And that's half the fun, being able to suspend reality for a couple of hours. But influencers want you to think that this fantasy IS reality, and while it can be for some, it isn't for the vast majority of people. Influencers are considered to be "relatable" (relative to Hollywood celebrities and such) so if you see an influencer do it, you assume it should be achievable for you. But the fact of the matter is, it's not. If more influencers were honest about this (like some fitness influencers are coming out about how they pose for IG or some influencers coming out about their plastic surgery), then I think it would help some.
It's easier to tell yourself not to compare because you know the content is most likely fake. But when you're in the middle of a spiral, that means virtually nothing, especially if the content is sold so hard as being genuine.
love your work! You literally verbalise everything I’m thinking, and obviously do the same for your audience so just wanted to say thanks for these awesome vids that showcase everything we’re thinking!
Shannon, the first case study, was actually on a reality show called Very Cavalleri. She was the social media marketer for Kristin Cavalleri's company Uncommon James.
And she was fired for essentially dropping the ball constantly doing things like missing prime post items, not posting about sales, and coming to work super late.
And it was brought up ALOT that the different facets of her life don't line up. I just thought it was a point worth mentioning 😅
You know what perfect is? Being married to my wife for 28 years with 2 kids and I’m still amazed by her.
Thank you for the job you do. It’s really unique and helpful for a consumer to make more educated decisions.
Such a mature and refreshing statement from that last couple! At the end of the day we don’t own people. We only experience each other and unfortunately all things come to an end eventually. Their statement seemed very authentic and well thought out. 16 years is a hell of long time to spend with someone growing apart is 100% possible. Where they went wrong was posting as if things perfect up til the divorce announcement. As someone who is divorced I may take a page out their book and not pledge forever in my next marriage lol cuz baby life ain’t no fairytale
In regards to Mimi & Alex, I remember them from their Luxy Hair days and their ex-friend Ujay ( not sure of the spelling) was actually the creator of the journal and went to them looking for partners, I believe.
I was involved with someone who was close to Mimi's sister's husband, Dimitri, here in Toronto.
A couple months back I was on a Mimi & Alex snark page (kinda weird I know😊) and they were pointing out how Alex is 'living his best single life now', going from retreat to retreat , not being physically present with his daughter. That made me incredibly sad for the child.
I don't follow either of their lives or brands but they seem to have been very, very lucky & successful in business.
To me there’s a spectrum of what it means to be an influencer. Someone like Shannon Ford (who I’d never of heard so I’m just basing this on your video) seems more like reality tv. Reality tv is very much staged and scripted but because the stars aren’t actors we call it real. This staged engagement feels like that kind of programming to me.
Exactly!! Marketing is marketing, whether it’s on TV, online or the next wave of marketing once we’re done with influencers. I think we should have more of that conversation instead of making it seem like it’s only an influencer thing. This has been going on for ages and will continue to go on!
Oh hun! The last part was epic! Sweating talking about people! 😂😂…Lived ur video it wasn’t judgement but you stated facts! Social media has become so toxic!
I have a family member who is an influencer….nothing of influencer engagements are a “surprised” NOTHING
Im super into public love. Without a phone. Like when I saw my husband for the first time since he went to basic, I didn't care where we were, or who saw. We were in our own little world, there was no worries about what we looked like, or who saw. When people are trying to stage it, it's weird, but I love genuine little moments
That clip from Shannon ford was comical! It was so not normal.
“The stew is boiling hot, 🫖 HOP in the POT”😂😂😭🤣 omg I love this
People have courthouse weddings for all sorts of reasons. If she didn’t get to have a romantic proposal and wedding in front of friends and family, there’s literally nothing wrong with this and the planning for a ceremony is legitimate. Marriage certificates are sometimes signed before the “real” wedding.
Really enjoyed this case study style video! That was excellent! Thank you!
I totally agree that the audience doesn't really want authenticity. 99.999% of influencer videos are staged and at this point is getting obvious. The wedding proposal in front of the chateau in impeccable clothes and styling was so obviously staged that it should be used as an IQ test.
😂😂
Hahahahahhah
This is such an interesting video. I’m loving the content you’re putting out.
I was completely shocked when the ikonns separated. I did feel like I was duped because if your promoting a channel of authenticity, and your monetizing your relationship, then you do owe your audience transparency. Influencers can’t expect to sell a vision/product and then demand the audience not to pry into their life, when they are monetizing their life story.
I disagree when you said influencers are not responsible for how the viewer feels /respond. Influencers are unique in that they must rely on their personality. They must create a connection with the viewer to be successful. They are not a celebrity, from the start the viewer knows this person is playing a character in a movie, song etc etc. this doesn’t apply to influencers. I believe that as we get older we are able to discern social media isn’t real. But younger generations know only virtual reality? So where is the accountability?
I completely agree. Only today i was discussing this with my sister regarding the mid 20s crowd of Influencers of India who are earning millions or at least their lives seem so. What irks me most is they wl share every last detail even their kiss with the world and then when they break up its suddenly personal and they can’t go into detail. Like you have literally made your lives the content which you are selling to your followers, it’s also beyond insane the amount of breakups/divorces we are seeing here.
Also yes i hold celebrity like actors and singers to a different standard coz they literally are known for their performance. We know its staged and ryan gosling is not Noah 😂
My teenage daughter thinks everyone's rich enough to throw money in the air. That everyone lives in huge expensive houses. Everyone has an iPhone and the latest "it" sneakers or clothes. Van Cleefs and Cartier. She wants all of that too. 😂
But you know what, in a way, it might end up being a good lesson for teens to learn that everyone lies
❤❤❤thank you for sharing and the reminder that relats don’t have to be picture perfect
I wholeheartedly agree that viewers really are not looking for authenticity. They want to be told what they want to hear, sold a fantasy and distracted by drama.
We see that to be true because those type of channels get the most traction. Whereas authentic people often go overlooked.
I can’t blame people for playing the social media game. If a fantasy is what’s going to make you money I can see why it’s alluring to take that route if it means having your bills paid at the end of the day.
This is why I don't follow any influencers on SM. They are all salespeople, selling a life that no one ,even themselves, are living. It's entertainment, not to be copied. Don't be fooled, y'all.
True life love is LOVING ❤️ YOURSELF, building a good sisterhood etc.
Being in a relationship for 20 years and married for 11 years. People ask me where the pictures are from my engagement and I don’t have any. I have it in my memorie. That is the most important thing. Because it is our relationship. And some things we keep private. And I post some things online when we do some things. But also post things when we have not so good of a day. Just keep it real. ❤❤❤
It is good to have pictures for the children.
But I agree with you.
I live for your facial expressions in these types of videos
The girls face with the silver dress though 😂
I’m cracking up so hard 24:31 when you were mimicking her cry 🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭
Big Fan of yours here in Sydney! You're a natural in front of the camera too!
It is called private life for a reason. There is something sacred about keeping certain things to yourself and not sharing, being selfish in that respect. Because at the end of the day there is not authenticity when you have a camera over your head whether planned or not planned. It is simply for the clicks, and hence not real.
it all began with the Kardashians 🤣🤣
What I always think about is how weird it must be to be a boyfriend or husband of one of these influencers and have to go along with this stuff all the time. Even the stuff that is real, I'd think it would get super annoying to have to have everything filmed.
i love how they go for all the Hollywood romance tropes. and notice how they're all perfectly lit: they're filmed at the golden hour & we're to believe none of this is staged.
meanwhile in Hollywood, the “Tabloid Era” slebs call the paps on themselves because they wouldn't be caught dedd sharing PDA on socials like the influencer-peasants, so they have to pretend the paparazzi still care who they're dating 🤡💀💀 (to be fair, like you said on 20:46 sometimes it's the apparently-very-thirsty partner who organised it all - only they & God know the truth).
i'm older & wiser enough to know it's fake & to not compare myself, but back when i didn't know what's meant to be “normal” in relationships, i used to mimic what i thought was “normal” dating behaviour & now i'm SUPER EMBARRASSED that i did (i've never been in a long-term relationships, i show symptoms of being on the Spectrum such as not knowing when a man wants me to invite him to my dorm room, etc.)
anyway, i don't believe influencers should be responsible for how they make us feel, but i'm also not responsible for how i feel about them (which usually consists of me side-eyeing anything they peddle & speaking up when they steal my content as a smaller creator).
i'm predicting the next big flex isn't any real “luxury” but just the ability to just say, “i bought this with my own money & here are my honest thoughts as a paying customer with consumer rights, and therefore my content is trustworthy.” (even if i have to keep a day-job to “fund” my channel lol)
“influencer fatigue” is real & i'm already skipping sponsorship shoutouts on RUclips (i also have RUclips Premium just so i don't see ads, it's a great investment considering how consumptive i would otherwise have been had i were exposed to BS commercials).
a while back, i used to watch an ASMR channel run by this r*cist AF guy from an American Southern state (the guy was both v*olently Isl*mophobic & Sinophobic - both affect me, i've got Southern Vietnamese ancestry) and his sponsors just DID NOT CARE that he was making these horrific real-f*rm-arm videos about harming Muslims. he would start posting lazy videos just for the sponsors. whenever i see another youtuber with the same brands, i not only skip the sponsorship segments, i am literally too traumatised to watch them, and i would NEVER touch that brand now.
I feel like right now companies turn a blind-eye on bad behaviour (some even seem to encourage it, or at least enable drama, fakery, and even plagiarism), but soon & once they realise how these influencers have people skipping their products altogether, maybe they'll just go back to the traditional way of marketing. i'd rather follow a BRAND account directly than follow influencers, brands may lie but it doesn't feel as disingenuous as when influencers lie (it's as if there's an added layer of lies when influencers are involved)
it's such a dumb cycle: they give free thing to influencer/RUclipsr, who then lies in hopes of getting more free sh*t in the future, i know they lie so i don't trust them (and in some cases i become allergic to the brand due to their association with bad-behaving influencers). what's the point of this anymore?
anyway thanks for making this video 🙏🙏
Are you Cham?
I could never jump in the water right after I just got a huge rock engagement ring. Anxxiiettyyy lol
It’s giving Kim kardasian losing her diamond earring in bora bora 😂
Great video and thanks for brining attention to this :-) Your comment about marriage being a lifetime commitment really surprised me though. I understand that is traditionally what marriage is supposed to be, although I think it makes more logical sense to recognize, from the beginning of a marriage, that things happen, and people change, and that separation is a possibility in every relationship. I think it shows maturity that they acknowledged this from the beginning of their marriage
Of course everyone is aware of the possibility of divorce. But going into a marriage, and not promising the forever at the wedding? It's like your saying, I love you but I'm carefull so I will have a backup plan. Why get married if you already think (or know) it's not forever?
Glad to see you back Caitlin and How r u doing I hope you are doing good and how's your health and I wish you have a blessed weekend🥹🥹♥️♥️
These videos are fun to watch.Because I don't know about any influencers, happily..
A random side story, I thought I was engaged when my husband asked me to marry him. Cuz we had been talking about getting married, and he casually asked me if I would want to marry him before then. I thought we were already like casually engaged. So when he planned this big day where I flew out to Texas to visit him while he was in tech school, and we stayed in a hotel room, he brought me all over and we just had a big adventure. Adventure spent the day laughing, and then he proposed with a hand carved ring at sunset, every three words I was saying yes, while he went on a long speech about loving me. And I was going to do the thing where you get married on paper and have a wedding in like 3 years, and then my mom blew up at me because my husband is military and it makes the most sense for us to be married, she was mad that she wasn't invited. Anyway she threw a temper tantrum and tried to get my child taken away because how dare I move on with my life? So we're no contact with my parents, and it was an upsetting fight and we're never doing a ceremony, because eff you mom I'm happy without a wedding. I hate parties, so I'm happy. We had a baby recently,
I don't know much about social media but I always viewed influencers' lives as reality tv.
It's really hard to believe that your boyfriend would pull off a 3-day engagement in different cities and that by the 3rd day you would still be jumping up and down with excitement. I would think the excitement might wear off after the first day as you already know what's coming. You would still be excited, but not hysterical about it for 3 days.....
I have watched a lot of these videos and now have stopped watching them when they show up because I think it sets the bar extremely high for a guy that might be very much in love with you and might not have the means to pull these things off. My husband and I are very happily married and we didn't have any engagement like this, we just kind of talked about getting married and then watching these videos has made me yearn for a beautiful proposal that I know in our situation might not have been feasible as we were both university students then.
Mimi Ikonn never looked happy after she gave birth. She shouldn’t have had a child.. sorry.
I always had the impression that she didn't want kids. She got pregnant soon after her sister got pregnant, and it didn't sit right with me, for some reason..
I needed this ❤ thank you
The Ikonns broke up? wow
I unfollowes Mimi a long time ago. Something seemed a bit fake
This video is so interesting, and I’m sorry to be off topic, but I love your sweater! Where did you get it?
I don't understand why it is so shocking as influencer is a job and has to make money. It's not abou9t being authentic. So many authentic channels have zero sponsorships and very little followers because they are not as artificially engaging. It's just business.
I wonder why you can’t find it any more. They are effectively lying.
Mimi and Alix something I never saw coming - but the perfection performance always made me give my partners more grace - because who really knows how good it was
It's so strange, I used to watch Mimi BACKKK in the day when they owned a hair extension company(???) and like, as it is, I naturally stopped watching around the time their daughter came into the picture. But I was thinking about them recently as we do for the creators we used to follow and stopped as we grew up... it's so interesting, but nice to see that they still seem to be wholesome open people they used to portray back in the day too
18:56 I’d hope it was a surprise otherwise she chose to cry like that lol
I didn't know about Mimi and Alex....I'm shook!
You are so lovable Caitlin. Charisma for centuries ❤
Personally, when I see a person begin to use their relationship as content, it’s always a red flag for me. It also means that that person will continue to use their partner as a prop for likes, clicks, views and attention even as it falls apart. They are just that much more incentivized to keep the charade going because it is business. And quite frankly, perhaps it always was. I often wonder if their social media presence even affected or influenced who they chose to marry. It’s such a bizarre thing to use for attention and smacks of disingenuousness and manipulation.
I can’t believe this is what Shannon has let become of her life. She had the right guy and couldn’t see it and has tried so hard to force James to look like her perfect love story when that’s clearly not the case. She had something special to her personality & online presence and now just repeatedly looks like a fool. It is a true shame.
Usually when i am watching couples in youtube it is because they are travelers or whatever else first. I do think in the back of my head “ it would be sad if they broke up.” But so far the ones i have watched have actually progressed and got married and some have had kids and some have built their own home. So so far i haven’t seen a break up yet. But it is like the bachelor and bachelorette that you never know when or if these couples will last and that show is so romantic like these videos you showed here today. Like i think there are only 3 bachelorettes now still married to their one and also the same with the bachelors. The rest have moved on and a couple have gotten divorced. That is what this couples influencer stuff reminds me of is that show and how low the success rate is there and that could be here.
I honestly don’t get the whole proposal thing and why it’s such a big deal. In my own perspective, getting married is a decision the couple should make together, and getting there is propelled through conversations you’ll have together. I don’t get the “woman waiting for boyfriend to propose.” “When is it gonna be?” “It’s been 12 years.. he hasn’t proposed..” On my end, we talked marriage often, and we often asked ourselves if we were ready.. in some conversations, we knew we were not, and in more recent ones, we agreed we were. We did not wait for him to plan a surprise proposal or anything like that. We just started planning the wedding and got things done. Looking back, I did tell him that I wouldn’t want a suprise proposal because why? Why would I want such a serious question to be asked in surpise? I wouldn’t want to be pressured in saying Yes just because.. and why would I have to make that decision in a split second? Why is it up to the man to determine the “right time” to propose?
I really love your channel❤
Hey Caitlin, please don't feel pressured to be nicer. I love mean Caitlin! 😂
No, but seriously, this world is so full of toxic positivity, dishonesty and people pleasing, that we need more people who are kind to the right people but call out unkind/dishonest/etc. people! ❤(especially if they are public figures/influencers)
Great listening i think influencers have to make these weddings proposals look perfect because otherwise most people wouldnt watch the videos its a show and people are their audience
i love you sweater & bracelets!!! and your video !! :)
You should talk about the aspyn ovard and Parker Ferris
No, actually i always tried to be different... if people liked red I was going for green... Never wanted to be like others yet compare myself to. I want to be different!
That Engagement Video is so kitschy - and I don't believe she didn't know...