My Wife is Horrible. I QUIT my job to rest & she Won't split the bill so I am Preparing for DIVORCE
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- Опубликовано: 9 окт 2024
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He said 'normally she dey buy things for the house'. LOL. If you have never been responsible for 'buying things for the house' like he described it, you will not understand the amount this lady provides for their home. Groceries are not cheap in America. Buying the 'small things' clothes, taking kids out, toiletries etc adds up to a HUGE amount. He earns more. At the end of the day, when he settles the home and school bills he probably has just spent like 50% of his salary. While the wife who just covers the 'small things', will be spending like 80-90% of hers. She obviously takes care of her own needs, her clothes, upkeep and stuff. He didn't say anything about taking care of her financially or doing chores at home. He should not downplay her contributions. His wife has gone through the rigors of medical school and has probably worked for as much years as he has while being mom, doing chores and buying 'things around the house' and she's still going. He can take his rest (within a reasonable timeframe, communicate clearly) without making it seem like she's been sitting around while he slaved away.
This story is very familiar with Nigerian marriages abroad. He sounds like he is jealous of his wife, she probably earns more money than him now and he wants to start using her money to fund businesses in Nigerian. Essentially he wants her to be a provider now and still do majority of the domestic labor we see this very well here.
The story is clear, there’s nothing like probably her, He earns more!.
Anyways if it’s water they all want to drinking until he can get back to work, then fine! Thankfully that’s not the case here! He should take the break he needs and be okay!
Exactly
@@vickieogb1262Agreed he should take the break he needs because he might actually be on the verge of breaking down. However, as an adult with responsibilities, he should have prepared better financially for the break. For starters, I don't understand why their savings should finish in just a month or so considering they seem to have good paying jobs. Most likely, they were living above their means. So the first step should have been to discuss with the wife and come to an agreement to cut their spending to the barest minimum. He should also have assured the wife of his plans on how to fund his time off work. Unfortunately, a lot of Africans work as if there is a gold medal for over working one's self and they pay dearly by breaking down.
You see how his wife doesn’t know what’s going on. That’s how so many wives don’t really know how their husbands feel. So many wives are oblivious
The way you both do the Lord’s work and at the end say “I mean, who are we to tell you this? Do you!!” And then proceed to advice them the other way round 🤣🤣😂
Yeah...i always wait for them to start rounding up the gist....They are they right Aunties for the Nigerian folks.
Love your analysis. Just to say that the reason a lot of Africans abroad seem to only ever have enough money to live from month to month is because most of us live above our means. You can get anything on credit and so some people are not able to control their greed. A lot of us go as far as living on credit card while playing god back in our African countries. It is possible to not work your self to death abroad and live a financially secure life where by you can afford several months off work without panicking about money and it's also possible to retire way before the official retirement age if you play your cards right. People should develop themselves to get reasonable paying jobs and learn to live below their means.
From what he explained,he is spiteful,he doesn’t like peace ,just want to cause problem in his marriage and a very dubious man.
He’s literally an adult acting like he is owed something. I’m sure if he sits his wife down and talk to her but he feels he shouldn’t work. What adult takes a break from being a responsible adults? Now when she becomes the primary breadwinner he will complain about being emasculated!
The way I left ig when I saw the notification ehn... My Online Aunties, what did you put in your stew?? 😅
You both said it very well. It's just the truth. If he had communicated properly to his wife that he's depressed or whatever his problem is, he would have received sympathy and help from her and together they would have worked it out. He is a wicked person. Who wakes up and decides to stop working? A man with a family for that matter. The story is really annoying
What is the point of all these mind games? If he has good intentions won’t he just have a simple conversation with his wife about being burned out. Tell her you want 2 months and that your company has agreed.
Take your two months. Inform her about how you enjoy having more time with your family and that you would like to restructure your finances. Both have to come together to figure out what makes sense for both parties and the family.
Very very simple but not African men!
May God not allow us marry enemy in form of spouse 😮💨
Our FAVORITE ONLINE AUNTIES speaking facts!!!!
God bless both of you. I said the same thing to a friend when I read this. The man does not communicate with his wife at all. It’s frustrating. She has been used to this for ten years. You can’t just change things without communication. They are married. She is his significant other. Communication is key
Merely putting a number and trying to split household responsibilities in such a cold and calculated way tells me that there is no love in the marriage. All they will have left is an unhealthy competition.
Nelo made a good point about people abroad. It's kind of difficult saving money after paying bills, as a lot of times families calls for help which will make one end up sending them the saved money inorder to help. Only we one is strict with the amount to spend.
Very spot on. The comment section was just as annoying as the post itself.
4 months not doing anything in abroad , he is not serious
I don’t agree with this take. It is very one sided and making alot of assumptions that are negatively biased towards the man.
As someone who has done office work for over 10 years, I can relate completely to his plight. I was in a similar situation a little over a year ago And I discussed with my husband and he agreed I could take some time off work and I honestly did not know how much time I would need when I asked. I literally just wanted to wake up and lounge and not worry about adding value. Does that make me a lazy person? I guess so by some people's judgment. lol
In our situation, we were relocating but by the time I got to our new location I sensed that I needed to get a job and I didnt go with the initial plan. My husband owns his Technology business and earns well so it wasnt primarily because of finances that I decided to put the plan on pause.
And yes, you are right that there is a root cause that is not properly communicated but please don’t throw baby and bath water away. If my husband communicates however he can that he will need me to step into a certain capacity because of whatever reason (voiced/unvoiced), the dynamics of our marriage will determine my response. And that response will go a long way to shed light on so many things that may be lacking in the marriage as it has done in this case.
There is nothing about marriage that is absolute and dynamics differ.
Your mindset about a man being "too young' to be going through something that requires him feeling like he needs to take a break after working for 17years simply because in your world view, the men are still working consistently at age 50, 60 or 70 is flawed. It drives the narrative that a man is a provider and there is no excuse why he should at any point
We both dont know the circumstance for which he started working and why he saw taking breaks as a luxury he couldn't afford so the argument about him lacking balance may be true but the context in which it is discussed is biased. He gave the context because it is his reality and it should not be discounted even if it is one side of the story.
Working abroad, I see so many Men (young/old) who struggle to take breaks because of reasons as simple as wanting to encash those holidays or fear of missing out on 'big' opportunities to move up the corporate ladder..... and they are the majority. So many of this stem from unhealthy mentality that has been passed on from generations to generations where a man seeking rest or stepping back is perceived as laziness or weakness and we wonder why many refuse to retire or go into retirement and die soon after.
Many organizations will not give you 30days of leave straight and even if they do, trust me, I would rather be able to wake up and not think of work. No matter the break I am on, I always worry about work... moreso in a managerial or senior position, I worry more. So taking 1 month is not as glamorous as it is painted to be.
There is way too much inference and assumptions in this discussion because he didnt say his savings was gone. It is his wife who gave that as one reason why he needed to go back. Is a man choosing to become a house husband now a bad thing especially if it is beneficial to the kids and family as a whole? The woman also did not communicate her fears to him correctly. And while there is one wrong after the other due to lack of communication and pride, we should not excuse her.
The only thing this whole thing has done for both of them is expose their weaknesses and fears as a couple and they need to find a way to work towards those things and build trust because life is unpredictable. We can criticize now because it is a voluntary action but its not that different if it was as a result of some other unfavourable factors. Adjustments will need to be made regardless.
My personal feverent prayer is that my husband's is at some point able to take time off work before he is 45. He goes on a year long sabbatical and discover other things outside of the life he knows now. He is not too young. We have been married over 10 years and he has been working for over 15. If I have to step in and be the bread winner at that time and we have to make necessary adjustment I know we will be fine. But we are only in this headspace because of the dynamics of our marriage which is not everyone's cup of tea and that is fine too.
I 💯 totally agree with you guys on this.
Truth be told, I love responsible Igbo men/any tribe man; my colleague at work is a responsible Igbo man🙌🏾, the way that man works so hard to look after his wife is admirable 😍, he is not even my man but the respect I have for him is on a 💯 level.
I’m not a lazy person but lazy men irritates the hell out of me; this man that said he wants to stay at home, when it’s not like he had an accident; as for me…..the love will just start dying gradually; every lil thing he does will just be irritating me; the respect will be dead.
I am an independent woman but I still like my man to be the old traditional breadwinner of the home and my orientation can never change. Sorry but not sorry 😊
I don’t think this conversation is balanced. The story is clear from the facts/information the husband provided, there’s no need for anything like probably/maybe/ if etc.
He earns (more) & she also earns, If it’s water they all want to be drinking until he can get back to work, then fine, thankfully that’s not the case here! He should take the break he needs and be okay!
I can’t rap my head around the fact that she’s using those words for her husband being home as “lazy”🙄, for a man who has always been the provider, I would be more worried why he’s reluctant to go back to work, how best can he be in a more better mental space, etc(though her worries might be if she’s not financially equal to the task, but in this case, the man is not leaving 100% to her🙄🤷🏽♀️).
All things being equal, you cannot relate this scenario to the man being unkind 😮, they maybe have to work on their communication, however let’s not act like it’s every partner that is recipient to effective communication when it doesn’t go their way!.
He needs rest, He should take it! And be Better , that’s my take!.
I have been waiting for this. I think their take is very unbalanced and a bit insensitive.
His wife could have approached the situation better and if he wants to rest, is that so bad? They sound like marriage is not a partnership and that married couples are not one unit.
Also, if they don't agree with the comment section, they don't have to be rude.
I totally do not agree with their take.
Anyway, different folks with different strokes.
I think He definitely should’ve communicated his plans to take that amount of time off. Open and honest communication and understanding will solve a lot.
Now he said he makes more than her so I’m not sure she can easily carry the financial weight of their lifestyle for a long time.
We don’t know the extent of his burnout though so we can say it’s not important enough for him to take a while off. Perhaps more understanding and communication will help them out but idk what he’s hoping to achieve by coming online. So many spouses aren’t kind to each other and it’s just sad.
Wise Internet Aunties! Correct! Men are providers by default. The original family structure is exactly how it should be. He is lucky we have 21st century resourceful women. Because that guy must work!
When I read it, I was just pissed. That man is lazy . Simple. He wants the wear the wig and skirts. This is the truth. A lot of women bashing her are the ones on 50/50 or the breadwinners of their own families 😒.
…..and what exactly is wrong with 50/50 or being the breadwinner?. You people with this mentality need to be realistic. Look at the demographic, women to men ratio, high earning jobs statistics (in Nigeria) before determining that something is wrong with these arrangements. If you have a hardworking man that is hindered by the realities of Nigeria, then you can’t help for the sake of your family?. What exactly is even breadwinner? If you earn more then what does that translate to?. Marriages are filled with very blurred lines sometimes and people need to be realistic.
PS: this is a response to your comment and not the video
@@BabygirlM My husband provides simple. I don't do 50/50 and will never do it. It's my opinion and choice. If a woman chooses to be in 50/50 partnership with her husband. That's her choice too. Its wickedness for a woman to do 💯 % of her motherly and wifely duties and then also expected to do any ratio of the man's job. One job. Bring money at least. God said the husband should provide. Simple. If he can't. He is lazy. If there are set backs. He should fight it. And come on top. If it's too much for him. He should not marry. I'm tired of all these excuses for lazy men. God gave them more strength for a reason. I'm not carrying any grown man abeg
@@deardiadem offcourse your husband providing 100% for you is your choice and that’s perfectly fine. However, when you say 50/50 is a choice too but go ahead to call it wickedness…that’s very judgmental. Again, be realistic;
Who defines what motherly responsibilities are except child birth? Fact: what people have defined as motherly responsibilities are infact parenting responsibilities so that we have less children ignoring their fathers at old age and overcompensating with their mothers.
I’m not a Bible scholar and I’ll appreciate where it can be shown in the Bible that God directs a man to be a provider. Before 1st Timothy 5 v 8 that’s flying, read in context please
Finally, Incase you missed my point, neither of these narratives are wrong in my opinion (50/50 or 100% husband). But constantly, women who bring 50% or even a 100% to the table are made to feel like they are doing something wrong and even when they say they’re perfectly fine with it, they are presumed to be deceiving themselves. It’s unfair. This is very similar to the stay at home mum/working mum debate; none of it is wrong, just what fits your reality.
I would never defend a lazy man but an unemployed man is not a lazy man..look at the realities of your society please.
A 50/50 marriage is not a suffer head marriage and it doesn’t mean your husband doesn’t care for you in the ways that matter. A 50/50 marriage is not also Wade/Gabrielle Union style where everything goes down the middle. Sometimes it just looks like pulling more weight than you’ll normally do. Marriage is filled with many blurred lines rather than strictly defined roles
Hahahaha kai! These 2 Women, you will not kee me o. I enjoyed every bit of the Video.
Communication and entitlement issues....
Honestly, he deserves to take his break if he's exhausted. However, just like you pointed out, he ought to have prepared his wife for it, so both of them can plan appropriately for it. But then again, he was under the impression that his wife got his back. They both just need to sit down and iron things out. They just need to talk!!
The wife has been in this deceitful marriage since. I pity her.
He even planned his thing, knowing that his wife would react exactly like she did.
I hate seeing a man in the house, lying down. Unless say na security job him Dey do, even the security job sef, he gats get daytime job too, oh.
I grew up in the house where my dad leaves the house by 4am due to traffic in Lagos and come back by 11pm-12am
The reason I didn’t see anything wrong with what the man said, is because I am a provider in my home and my husband provides 10%
But honestly I wish I was not the provider cause I carry a lot of resentment due to that.
"E fit be lie"😅😅😅😅... Thank God I'm normal after all. I shared the same view with you guys when I read that post but going into the comment section, I couldn't believe my eyes. I had to leave jeje.
Both of you nailed it on the head.
When aunty Nelo said Aunty Ada is wise…, she’s like « of course I know » with body gestures 😌😁
@Adeeze ,you are right . He might be depressed. This man is crying out for help
Nelo and adaeze you guys are so smart ❤❤❤l pity his wife yeye man
I like both of you together. In my head, I am saying why are these two ladies talking like two very experienced people?😂😂❤ Everything you've said made a lot of sense. Very good points
He is the only one qualified to be Tired.. The wife can not be tired...
I always love your analysis… it keeps me going while working from home 🤣. Much love❤
I can't love you guys less!🎉❤
LOL @ the ending of this video. You two online aunties dey craze small haaha!
It's always the outro for me 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Nelo! Nelo!! Nelo!!! How many times did I call your name? You are so funny 🤣🤣🤣
I disagree with you, if the wife was sharing bills ,that would have given him the chance to take a day or holiday off.
The comments shocked me too but I held my peace since my perspective was different. Make them no drag me o
It is the sarcasm at the end for me😂😂
This man is so selfish, kind of a man who thinks just because he married that woman, he owns her. He thinks she is her property where by whatever he suggests she must follow whether she like it or not.
Never live abroad. E go shock una
The comment section on the post on IG shocked me o. The way people were supporting the man I was really shocked
He need to explore different work options. Work From Home ( Part time).
They also need to save AGRESSIVELY.
people come online to make up stories jus to get a reaction, Nelo you're right his story is not adding up
You promised to give bbn update every week o!
Nope I don’t agree with your “facts” and I don’t agree with what the guy is doing or how his going about it. The solution is in the middle but we can’t get to it because we are not in the position of observing the marriage from distance talkless of near
He was obviously looking for a format to split the bill. He should have just communicated that to her.
"I ain't doing shit" my aunties have stated facts not opinions ❤😂
That’s not true about people overseas e only making enough to survive because people have 401k and lots of savings account. Never have I seen people abroad ask people in Nigeria for funds. It’s always Nigerians asking people overseas for money.
I have seen someone abroad ask for money before
@@PONAVICK I bet they didn’t ask you though but since you want to go off what’s the ratio?
Very true. All my male friends that are married including my brother in law in this same abroad cater to everything without asking from their wives and some of their wives are also high earners. They are doing very very well and earn significantly high
@@Dee___.. thanks but they love to want to believe people abroad and just trying to survive. The money that people make here is ridiculous.
It’s giving, he lost his job . The question is , what happened at work?
U are right. My thinking exactly
7:41 😂😂😂😂😂Chinelo
He is an oloshi jatijati man😢. He is a selfish man & after his wife’s money🥵. Why would your savings finish just after one month?🤷🏻♀️
You both said it all 👏🏾👏🏾
If his wife wasn’t working he will not think of taking any break
I’m glad someone said it!
What is the issue here??? He said he's been working for 17 years and married for 10. Meaning he's working hard for 7 years before marriage. What is the issue here??? Women put pressure on men to travel?? How many Africans go on vacation??? If not the middle classes and the wealthy, since 70% of them are poor.
Most Africans take vacation & head straight to the village.
I literally had to pause this video to comment!
A lot of women are living in denial trust me. All those Alpha females deep down they want a strong hardworking man but you know what they prefer to live in denial 😂😂😂
To think I even know Nelo’s opinion before watching this video 😂😂😂
Consistently on point 🔥
My special ladies
She should take a break from work for her mental health please. Since the man wants to be mad let them all be mad.
A she's washing plate let her be rinsing the plate. Let's split the domestic duties and be foolish.
Supported
She must divorce him straight
As long as a Man can leave a pregnant woman.
I don't see a problem with a woman leaving a Man after he his Jobless.🛀
The title😂😂😂😂😂
He is still preparing.. lol. Sir, your threats and manipulation is not going to work.
It's like una know pass everybody. Keep it up
Thank you😂😂
This man is unkind, ruthless and inconsiderate. It’s sad she married such a man!
I really hope he come across this video 😂. He really needs help.
Truly the approach screams EGOISTIC
This man is very selfish. He is inconsiderate and from what he’s said here, he’s been resentful towards her for all that he has been doing for the family as if it’s not his responsibility. He’s a bad communicator and wanted an issue in the relationship. His tone suggests that he’s “resting” as punishment to her and spiting her for allowing him to be the “provider” that he is supposed to be in the first place. Lol. He is losing his masculinity by even envying what the wife has. He’s been waiting to do this so bad and turn around and make it look like it’s his wife’s fault. See the way he narrated it. Thank God you both agree with me and see through his bs just as I do. I don’t know what all these pickmeshia comments are.
Recording conversations? He is wicked and vindictive, selfish and self centred. What is wrong with people like this? Na wa ooo
This man is obviously lying. Nigerian men lie about their wife not contributing financially at all in the home.when she takes care of all the other bills in the home.
unbalanced ooooooooooooooooooo
Facts 😂
Thank you o,very lazy man 😂
Furrsstt
This man is a very terrible man honestly
❤🎉🎉🎉
She needs to divorce him fast.
That man is irritating.