I have a friend who is a secret multi millionaire. He was bragging that he got a jacket at a thrift store for $4. Different people, different priorities.
"Some prideful people are not so concerned as to whether their wages meet their needs as they are that their wages are more than someone else’s." -Ezra Taft Benson
When my father found out i was making a higher income than him after 35 years of work, he said "that makes 2 of you" (my brother is an egineer) and "i'm proud of you, I want to see my children do well, I've always wanted my children to do better than me." that's how people should respond.
Applause to your Dad. My Mom was jealous that my apartment had a dishwasher. She said, you are ahead of me with a pouty face. I said Mom, you have a car and a house, want to trade?
We paid off our mortgage early and I wanted to have a party to burn the mortgage papers. However, after thinking it over, we decided that the response from friends and family would we mostly negative. We had the party but didn't invite anyone. Best party ever!
That’s so sad you can’t share you good news with family and friends. I certainly understand where you are coming from. Congratulations on paying off your house. It’s sad when people are jealous of your accomplishments.
Exactly. We're DR fans and paid off our house. When we told our parents, they were speechless. They were dumbfounded, no response...EVER. And it's a small, very affordable house. You find out who you're REALLY related to. Just don't share ANY financial information with family.
You should neither brag about nor work to hide your victories. If people are making snide remarks, ignore them. Everyone wants the results, but few want to do the work. Don't make their problems yours, just do your thing!
My closest friend and I fell out over my business success. He just couldn't handle it and his bottled-up resentment and jealousy, over two decades, finally spewed out one day and he screamed abuse at me and stormed out of my house.We have never spoken since. We met when I was just 16 and it ended when I was 42. Unfortunately some people just can't cope with seeing their friends and family do better than themselves. Please don't let these types hold you back. At the end of the day you will shine! And the detractors will be irrelevant.
I'm so glad you shared. I had a similar experience that has been haunting me. I had a long time friend who was doing well when we met and I was struggling. 10 yrs later, her marriage and business fell apart and she lost her home - while I got my degree, met the love of my life, got married and pregnant and we bought a house. She saw her opportunity to kick me while I was down after I had a miscarriage (blaming me and telling me the miscarriage was a curse). Glory to God, I got pregnant again very soon after and we haven't spoken since, she even blocked me on FB for no reason. It's been bothering me all year because I can't think of anything wrong I did to her except succeed and she was jealous. Just like your friend, she just couldn't handle it. Guess she was never a true friend to begin with.
@@reesecup3ify this is sooo true, ppl should pay attention to how others react, especially those you’re close to & know your business when your life improves, this is both wealth & other great opportunities in life that comes ur way. I can speak from experience
I actually just opened a business. The only people that know are God, my customers, my wife and I. My family will find out when they see us on the news or something. Otherwise, I'm not telling them squat.
Enjoy their envy and jealousy? That’s a little twisted. It’s better to have an attitude of compassion. If you’re able buy a home worth millions while they’ve been working hard for years to save for a small starter home which seems out of reach, expect that while they’re happy for you it’s natural to feel a little jealousy. I remember in high school observing this situation. Teen girls were preparing to go help feed the homeless at a center. The girl who invited the other girl wore jeans and a sweatshirt, the other came all dolled up like she’s going to a party and the other girl asked you’re going dressed like that? She was clueless that her fancy attire was inappropriate. Just because you have the wealth to show the world and everyone around you, there’s a time and place for it. The fact that one would actually enjoy the envy and jealousy of others says a lot about that person.
@@calidreams5379 its’s not “natural” at all to feel jealous of people. I am genuinely happy for the people around me, but not everyone reciprocates when I have a win. This is why when I started evolving financially, I had to cut people off. And in your own story, you say the wealthy girl was “clueless,” so why paint her as some villian that just “wants to show off?” Maybe it’s possible she really didn’t know because this was her first time volunteering and did not understand the conventions of that kind of atmosphere. You encourage “compassion” but seem to be selective about who you yourself give it to.
I stopped sharing mine and my hubby’s accomplishments. Family got so jealous and would make snippy comments at family gatherings. We stopped sharing and pulled back on the family get togethers. It is what it is.
Don’t you love people who decide you have too much and should give it to them. They don’t care how much blood, sweat, and tears it took to for you to reach a certain level of success, they just want what you have.
Sounds like they are bragging to their family. My family has no idea what brand of mattress we sleep on. Why bring up what health club you belong to? Just be humble and keep your blessings to yourself.
Idk - my mom and sister definitely know what gym I work out at and I don’t think it’s that weird to tell someone something like that? Definitely depends on the family dynamic.
That was my thought too.. why would someone know what type of mattress you got.. and unless you brought it up yourself.. did someone think to ask if they joined a new gym?
If you meet someone wealthy and they bring it up just say “that’s really impressive, must have been a lot of hard work” and they will appreciate that statement. Some of them will proceed to share how they did it giving you some knowledge that has a TON of value. I have learned so much with this but it only works if you mean it when you say it
This has been happening to us as well with my family. The only thing is we haven't had any change in income; but have gotten out of debt. So they are jealous of us being smarter with our money. They are free to do the same.
It's easy to shut it down by stop the passive aggressive attitude so many of you middle class folk are taught. Just be straight up and either they respect it or go away. And if they can't respect it, then sparsely speak with them.
@ Envious is worse. Jealousy is where people want what you have. If someone is envious, not only would they want to have it, they don't want you to have it. Take it away from you
5 лет назад
@@mattt555 no! jealously is not envy they are similar for example i envy dudes who have good grandparents who are loving caring and loving jealousy is when i want to kill your grandparents because i don't have no grandparents living. Another example envy is when a person who dying wished that he has time as the person that is living jealousy is when you want that person to die just as you are dying
I remember I had a cousin that I tried to help out I even got him a job and one day my wife bought me a truck like straight-up bought it for me with cash she surprised me I was really surprised so I took it down there to show him because in my mind I thought we were we were really close but turns out he didn't look happy he was just shaking his head and crossed his arms and later on just guys actually tried to break up my marriage it's funny how people's true colors come out sometimes nowadays I have learned suggest do the best I can with me and my family and I don't really talk too much about my personal finances or whatever was anyone else
Good for you! That means you made it!! I know it's hard to hear that negative feedback from "friends and family" but sometimes that just reveals the truth. That is their own insecurities talking. Keep doing great things and keep the ones that truly support you (usually few) close. Good for you and your husband.
When I was addicted and living on the streets in total hopelessness, I was popular with my family. Now, with God in my life, a new career, sobriety, a business on the side, a BRAND NEW HOME coming, getting married, taking care of debts, I tell my fiance to not ever tell our families
It's always at least one person who isn't jealous of your success but is merely inspired. Years go by and they become successful in finances, relationships, etc. I appreciate those people. Yet, they are rare.
I have experienced this too! When you first start earning a large amount of money, you are so grateful and appreciative of the blessings that you want to share with everyone. Unfortunately, most people look past your gratefulness and only see their own envy.
*Dave Ramsey’s next phone call:* “Um yes, we have this family member who is always talking about how much money their business is making. They tell us what gym they go to... they even tell us what brand of mattress they have. How do we get them to stop bragging?
@@sidwhiting665 It's hard to say. I won't be too judgmental based on a 6 minute conversation, but it did seem a bit odd to me that she opened with how much money they're earning, in the first 15 seconds. She could've simply said, "Our business is successful..." but she was pretty quick to name a number. That may not mean anything at all, but if I had to make a snap judgment, I would say that she is kind of overwhelmed and excited about the money they are now making, and she's having trouble controlling herself from bringing it up in conversation (because she's still kind of wrapping her own head around it, and is basically like a kid on Christmas showing off her new toy.). This doesn't make her a bad person! In fact, I've been recently guilty of the same thing after I got a (very modest) inheritance. I wasn't meaning to brag, but I was just excited and found it kind of slipping out a bit more than I'd intended. I was basically just excited to finally be debt-free, and my mouth would get ahead of my brain. See? I just did it again.
@@Imhere12345 I told my business partner I was going rreally good in other businesses, he never looked at me the same way. Today he ran away with our money. I learned the hard way too lol
Sometimes it's better to keep your accomplishments to yourself. Because people become jealous and envious. The funny thing is they could do the same as you especially if you came from humble beginnings like them. It's just the mindset started to shift. When I started listening to Dave about finances and did my research it just made sense. Their is a saying everyone can't come with you unfortunately. As you move up in life some people can't handle your success and you don't need that negativity.
My parents worked very hard and were very disciplined when they got married during the depression. One of the rules was that people could be helped, but no money was lent to relatives. As their children we all worked on the ranch/farm, and in return we were all given a college education. I didn’t realize what a priceless gift that was until later. Keep your own counsel as to your business success for the most part. The jealous will be there.
Never understood about hating on others. Idc who you are. A stranger, friend, family, significant other etc. I always give positive remarks & comments from little to big things that people tell me they’re successful in. Being humble is free99
No, the comparison was not "perfect;" it was wrong. Envy is a reaction to lacking something, like a car, job, house, etc. Jealousy is a reaction to the threat of losing something which is already possessed, like a relationship
I married into a family that can't stop talking about money and learned quickly to keep my mouth shut. I decided that it's better to help those that truly need the help rather than those that don't want to have a genuine relationship and are looking for their own benefit, even if it is family.
I have 3 brothers. We grew up poor in a rich town. None of us have wealth envy. Our oldest brother and his wife are SUPER well off. No kids, probably make well over 300k. My husband and I are doing pretty well, way better than our upbringing would expect. My younger brothers are doing okay, struggle, but get by. NONE of us would ever think of asking one another for any money and none would dog the other for what they have.
When I got married my grandmother gave me her diamond ring. 29 years later my husband wanted to buy another ring for me. Relatives told me I should not have 2 diamonds and must give one away. What nerve.
Im going through the same exact thing. I have a brother who said to me that he'd surpass me in wealth and education right after i dropped out of college. I didnt say anything to him back then... its been a good 7 years. He worked hard at it and graduated college. To him, having a degree was everything. He s still hasn't found a job in his field and work in a food market. All the while i was working for myself, flipping cars, selling on ebay etc... I never kept a 9 to 5. My goal was always to get enough money to start my real estate business. Now, I own rental properties and currently renovating an 8 unit apartment building. I will soon retire at just 32 and will never have to work for someone in my life. He is very jealous of that. He used every trick to attack me. Im planning to cut him off of my life forever.
Been debt free 5 years including house. Thank you Jesus, and thank you Dave for giving me a show I could stay inspired. My friends and my family just say must be nice. But you where able to do this because? My wife’s family said congratulations and her dad actually cried. That’s a great father in law,thanks Steve D.
When someone makes fun of or downplays my personal success in life, I ask them if my success makes them question their own abilities or past decisions in life... (even if its a relative or family... I don't care)
Dreddy G. That's a quick way to harm relationships. Realize you don't care, but I would be aware of how damaging that could be despite what their comment was.
@@daninbox If people can dish it out, they should be able to take it as well. If someone gets offended by me asking if they question their abilities or past decisions in life, they may as well admit that they do. (Being angry at someone asking this is a very convenient way of avoiding self reflection. But that's just me.) Cheers!
The problem is that the haters become very sensitive to everything you say. We are in the situation as the caller and our approach is that we don’t brag about what we have or accomplished, but we don’t critique our conversations either. If we have to watch every little thing we say to someone to keep from looking like we’re bragging, then we will keep our distance! Envious people do t take much to get set off! Honestly, they’re going to talk sh*t regardless!
I’m the daughter of a pastor, and my family’s finances reflect that. I also have a historical fashion sense, so I tend to dress in a way that looks high end. On the street one time a woman muttered “rich girl” in my direction, and I really had a hard time not turning around and asking “Do you want a list of the thrift stores I shop at so you can look rich too?” because I’ve never paid more than $30 for an outfit 😂
Most wealth is luck because you where trying. You can work just as hard or harder than rich people and never get anywhere. Outside force's can have a big impact where your born and how to. Money makes money not work. No one with money works they invest.
@@karlpokorny7130 Don’t undermine hard work because of other hard working people being poor. The hardest part of investing is receiving little compensation in the short term
I can relate heavily to this. Nobody other than my best friend (who’s networth is 40x larger than mine) and my mom know my networth/income. It’s ridiculous how jealous and mean people can get when they find out your successful. Especially when it’s your close family.
This is my husband’s whole family - we were together for years before we decided to get married and that was OUR decision. That was the one thing they would rag on us for. Also, I was able to accomplish educational and career goals and worked in silence. One of my husband’s cousin (the oldest cousin) is the golden child and for the past few years, that family has pitted us together bc we were the same age. She got pregnant before she got married and since then, they have been wishing that I slip and fall into that same destiny. Within the past year, I finally announced my grad degree, new career, and we got married (without child). The family members have not congratulated me at all and have been distant and resentful towards us.
Had this exact problem with my wife’s extended family. We largely stopped interacting with them and that’s honestly a shame. But they wouldn’t stop and we felt it was necessary.
It’s starting to get awkward with my family as well. I am not extremely financially successful at the moment, I just graduated college - however, i am the only one in my entire family that has a college degree (Civil Engineering). It is very awkward when I talk about my job, trips I’ve gone on with my girlfriend, the car I drive, and things like that. There is definitely a sense of resentment I feel from my cousins and Aunts / Uncles whose kids are around my age and have made the personal choice to not go to college. It’s just very awkward when I am the youngest in the room making the most money and they ask me about things in my life only to find that I live a bit more comfortably than them.
I refuse to use that phrase. To me it's hateful. When mynkids tell me of their successes, I always respond withvactruthful, and since " That's Great!". Or, " I'm really happy for you!". Why try to discourage people you truly care about, or people who are truly just excited to share their hard work , and sacrifice really paid off? That's says more about you as a person then anything else .
You don`t owe anybody in this life - and if they have a snide remark to make - It means they`re focused on the wrong things and you need to distance yourself from those snakes.
Jealous instead of cheering you on. Very dangerous. You might need to cut off toxic relationships. Be careful. It is none of their business so do not say anything about your possessions and I agree with Dave about hurt feelings. Cut off jerks.
This means you did something they wish they had the foresight to do! Jealousy and envy have no place in a healthy relationship, I agree with Dave just try and keep yourself to yourself and let them get on with being bitter while you enjoy the good life!
Never thought that in my life, as a Christian, that I would see jealousy in my immediate family. I always wanted the best for my siblings and still do but when I got older that it was not true the other way it cut to the heart. Nevertheless God is on His throne and I will continue to love!
You don't need that kind of people who are jealous of you . trust me these are the people who will be the first ne looking for handouts of some money when they fall behind and know that you have money.
Yeah. I can remember realizing to myself, "Why do I keep sticking my head in the lion's mouth!?" I stopped sharing details about my life with people who started to demonstrate that they couldn't handle it. As soon as I smell "snarky" or "nay-saying", I back out. Those subjects with those people, no more! ["...but who is able to stand before envy?" The Book of Proverbs]
I see some friends and family doing really well at it makes me feel bad sometimes like I'm not doing enough, but then I realize I'm living my own life and doing the things that make me successful. I would never THINK to try and bring them down!
This advice touches home. Dave has a true character wether helping people get out of debt or talking to millionaires. He seems like a humble human and I take his advice like he is a wise uncle or father
This reminds me of my ex girlfriend. An old high school friend bought a house and invited me to his house warming party. My ex saiid to me “Aren’t you embarrassed that your friend has a house and you have nothing?”. That’s when I told her it’s time for you to find a sugar daddy because you’re too expensive. Met my beautiful wife a few years later, we started with nothing. Now we live in an affluent neighborhood with a net worth of 2.6
Most of the people who don’t want you to be successful are the people who’ve known you for a long time. You becoming successful will make people around you take a REAL GOOD CLOSE look at themselves.
Such good advice Dave. I made the mistake of expounding my pride in paying off my mortgage to a good close friend. Bad mistake. So now I keep things to myself.
People care too much what others think of them. Quit being a jones and live your life. Just have gratitude of everything that comes your way and be happy, because nobody else will.
I try not to be like that. I haven't been so far but it's not easy to not be jealous. I'm learning to be grateful for what I have and keep doing the baby steps. If we're consistent, my husband and I will be debt free in March of 2024. Very hopeful!!
I've had people do this to me before. I just stop and look at them and stare at them for about five solid seconds... then go back to what I'm doing. I just don't accept their insecurities. I used to let that bother me like I had to navigate a certain way in my life in order to make other people feel better. All people are doing is showing you that they aren't on your level. Find new friends that are.
I have always been happy for anyone that I have known that achieved their success through hard work and responsible planning. I know a couple of people who are very well off and I love seeing their beautiful photos and hearing about their trips! The thing is there's a thin line between sharing good news and BRAGGING. I dispise bragging! I know some people who have lots of money yet they are easy to relate to, yet others who just seem to push their wealth in your face. My daughter and her husband make much more money today than her father and I ever did and I love it!! I'm proud of them! They are having the time of their lives. It's a relief that I don't have to worry about them coming to me for money!😀
I loved my family and was proud of my siblings accomplishments. It blew my mind when they did whatever it took to torpedo anything I might have succeeded in. Now I understand family dynamics better and how I was the scapegoat child. Sometimes the only thing you can do is cut your losses and get away from poisonous people and make your own healthy path and it's okay. If you are a favorite child then take it for all it's worth. If you aren't a favorite child and have been told to wait your turn then you must realize the reality that your turn will never come and if you want to have a life of your own then you must go no contact and keep everything you do secret and stay on guard for flying monkeys.
Lol my family didn't wanna teach me how to drive get a car ,help me get furniture for an apartment or anything they wanted to stay home and help pay there bills
@@jaredfleming5085 It's interesting how those patters are so common and predictable. When the golden child turned 16 they made sure that he had been well trained to drive and was ready for the driving test and they were very proud of him. I had to do it all on my own and it was several months and several failed attempts getting my license and nobody was happy when I passed. The golden child was given a car had college paid for and got spending money all the way through. Not only did I not get any of that they wanted to charge me rent. Did you get out okay? Did they let you go or do they still try to drag you down?
@@DrogoBaggins987 I took driving lessons got a car started working at Amazon saved saved saved moved out of my home state got my first apartment .rn I'm getting my cyber security certification it took work but it was worth it.I came to the realization no one was gonna save me but me
I suspect that our success has ruined our relationship with my in-laws. We are always humble, private and generous about it, yet there is always an undercurrent of resentment. Funny, I think they’d like to be in our shoes financially, but none of them would want to do our jobs!
It’s also coworkers too. A coworker found out that my house was on the larger size by happenstance and is envious. Can’t be ashamed that spouse makes bank.
I don't know why family and friends get snarky in some cases when people start to become financially successful. I'm thrilled when my loved ones start reaching their financial goals. They've all worked really hard for it. My 24 year old younger brother just got a promotion and now makes more money than I do. I'm thrilled for him because I don't want him to struggle like I did when I was in my 20s. And he also worked really hard for it!
I hear these stories and realize how blessed I am to have great family. We are all in different economic levels and we just enjoy being together. No jealousy or envy. We made our own choices in life and we live accordingly.
That's wonderful! I married into a family like this and I'm so grateful. I often remind my husband what a blessing they are. I came from a horribly dysfunctional, hateful, jealous, competitive family that I no longer have contact with.
Thank god somebody else has a loving family.. I have sisters love them all for who they are. Some have more some have less i supose but i genuinely want the best for my sisters. My parents are the greatest never treated one better than the other. If there is a favorite none of us know. I never knew how lucky i was until i went to college and saw how other families treat each other.
Benihana Kitty You’re extremely fortunate. That’s the wonderful aspect of marriage, we gain an entire family my in-laws are great!! And no I’m not bragging 😂
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I have a friend who is a secret multi millionaire. He was bragging that he got a jacket at a thrift store for $4. Different people, different priorities.
Maybe buying $4 jackets is how they became a millionaire lol
maybe not spending ur money irresponsibly is way to be financially independent
Thats actually a bit of a feat. Thats hard to do getting a good jacket for 4 bucks.
I retired at 55, saved my whole life and still shop at thrift stores. ( love them) and I drive a 13 yr. old Yaris and love that too, {;o)
your friend sounds like me !
People root for you to be successful, but they just don't want you to be more successful than themselves.
Yeah, i cant stand to see younger people more successful than me.
💯 percent
@@fanmaxis3004 Can't stand to see older people more successful than me. lol!
"Some prideful people are not so concerned as to whether their wages meet their needs as they are that their wages are more than someone else’s." -Ezra Taft Benson
I would love it if my brothers could be more successful than me. So it can happen but we have to get over the greedy part of ourselves.
When my father found out i was making a higher income than him after 35 years of work, he said "that makes 2 of you" (my brother is an egineer) and "i'm proud of you, I want to see my children do well, I've always wanted my children to do better than me." that's how people should respond.
matthew hoover I only hope my son is more successful that we are. I would hope that most parents want that for their children.
My dad feels the same way! He made more money than his father. And he expects us to be the same way.
That’s called generational growth. How families evolve and get better. The American dream.
Applause to your Dad. My Mom was jealous that my apartment had a dishwasher. She said, you are ahead of me with a pouty face. I said Mom, you have a car and a house, want to trade?
My father more or less said the same thing.
I've heard that "must be nice" a bit. I look people dead in the eye and say yes.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lol, welp, they walked into that one now, didn't they?😂
What? All of the sacrifices and work? lol
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
We paid off our mortgage early and I wanted to have a party to burn the mortgage papers. However, after thinking it over, we decided that the response from friends and family would we mostly negative. We had the party but didn't invite anyone. Best party ever!
Wow that’s sad they weren’t happy for you :( congrats on paying it off early!!
It’s better that way. Then no one thinks you have “extra” money to throw around.
Same here. My husband and I went to dinner and toasted each other. We still don’t tell anyone. It’s glorious.
good call :)
That’s so sad you can’t share you good news with family and friends. I certainly understand where you are coming from. Congratulations on paying off your house. It’s sad when people are jealous of your accomplishments.
Stop telling them what's going on lol Everyone will not be happy for you... EVEN family!
You got that right.....
In most cases, especially family. Well said.
Exactly. We're DR fans and paid off our house. When we told our parents, they were speechless. They were dumbfounded, no response...EVER. And it's a small, very affordable house. You find out who you're REALLY related to. Just don't share ANY financial information with family.
👏👏👏
Isn't that the truth.
For some ppl I live by "if they don't need to know, don't tell them." Only share your successes with like-minded, supportive people.
Absolutely
I think everyone wants to have success so bad that they despise when someone else close to them gets it.
Yo iPod I never thought I would see u on a vid like this (u still going the y in haverford?)
Yup!
Ipod!! Good to see you !
YUP
And that's a defective personality.
You should neither brag about nor work to hide your victories. If people are making snide remarks, ignore them. Everyone wants the results, but few want to do the work. Don't make their problems yours, just do your thing!
AMEN!
K H-C amen!!
Exactly, just live your life.
Well said
My favorite response is.........We all make decisions in our life. Some of of us different than others.
My closest friend and I fell out over my business success. He just couldn't handle it and his bottled-up resentment and jealousy, over two decades, finally spewed out one day and he screamed abuse at me and stormed out of my house.We have never spoken since.
We met when I was just 16 and it ended when I was 42. Unfortunately some people just can't cope with seeing their friends and family do better than themselves. Please don't let these types hold you back. At the end of the day you will shine! And the detractors will be irrelevant.
I'm so glad you shared. I had a similar experience that has been haunting me. I had a long time friend who was doing well when we met and I was struggling. 10 yrs later, her marriage and business fell apart and she lost her home - while I got my degree, met the love of my life, got married and pregnant and we bought a house. She saw her opportunity to kick me while I was down after I had a miscarriage (blaming me and telling me the miscarriage was a curse). Glory to God, I got pregnant again very soon after and we haven't spoken since, she even blocked me on FB for no reason. It's been bothering me all year because I can't think of anything wrong I did to her except succeed and she was jealous. Just like your friend, she just couldn't handle it. Guess she was never a true friend to begin with.
@@reesecup3ify Sorry to hear that. I've also experienced a lot of jealousy. The best thing to do is wish them well and move on. Continue to be blessed
@@reesecup3ify sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Must have been hard.
@@reesecup3ify this is sooo true, ppl should pay attention to how others react, especially those you’re close to & know your business when your life improves, this is both wealth & other great opportunities in life that comes ur way. I can speak from experience
Sounds like a typical Democrat.
I actually just opened a business. The only people that know are God, my customers, my wife and I. My family will find out when they see us on the news or something. Otherwise, I'm not telling them squat.
No point. Family that's bad with money can't handle talking about wealth without getting jealous & resentful. It's sad.
Good luck, you can do it!
Good for you haha. Don’t need to prove anything to anyone 🤔
Wow
Lol
💯💯💯💯
It's the same thing with weight loss. Everybodies happy until your thinner than them
I was thinking the same thing!😂😂😭
Exactly, once I lost the weight and kept it off people say it must be nice. I roll my eyes inside because you need to maintain it
@@mrs.maestra173 how many times have you heard, "Eat something! You're too skinny!/ Are you ill?/here, have this cake"
It’s called jealousy ☺️
So true. This happened to me.
Never apologize for your own success. You worked for it, you DESERVE it. Enjoy their envy and jealousy.
Enjoy their envy and jealousy? That’s a little twisted. It’s better to have an attitude of compassion. If you’re able buy a home worth millions while they’ve been working hard for years to save for a small starter home which seems out of reach, expect that while they’re happy for you it’s natural to feel a little jealousy. I remember in high school observing this situation. Teen girls were preparing to go help feed the homeless at a center. The girl who invited the other girl wore jeans and a sweatshirt, the other came all dolled up like she’s going to a party and the other girl asked you’re going dressed like that? She was clueless that her fancy attire was inappropriate. Just because you have the wealth to show the world and everyone around you, there’s a time and place for it. The fact that one would actually enjoy the envy and jealousy of others says a lot about that person.
@@calidreams5379 its’s not “natural” at all to feel jealous of people. I am genuinely happy for the people around me, but not everyone reciprocates when I have a win. This is why when I started evolving financially, I had to cut people off. And in your own story, you say the wealthy girl was “clueless,” so why paint her as some villian that just “wants to show off?” Maybe it’s possible she really didn’t know because this was her first time volunteering and did not understand the conventions of that kind of atmosphere. You encourage “compassion” but seem to be selective about who you yourself give it to.
I stopped sharing mine and my hubby’s accomplishments. Family got so jealous and would make snippy comments at family gatherings. We stopped sharing and pulled back on the family get togethers. It is what it is.
Don’t you love people who decide you have too much and should give it to them. They don’t care how much blood, sweat, and tears it took to for you to reach a certain level of success, they just want what you have.
People must realize having hate and envy blocks your blessings. Hurting self!!
I agree. I was envious of a friend for years and guess what...she’s doing way better than me!
Amen self sabotage
I disagree. Sometimes it drives you to do better than the Joneses.
Exactly.
Don’t tell people what you’re doing, and don’t post things on Facebook.
I still haven’t told my brother I purchased a new house.
Be honest. The only reason you wouldn't tell your own brother that is because you guys just don't have a good relationship
ClaxtonBay123 agree. Not telling seems kinda strange
ClaxtonBay123 He would be really jealous. He’s competitive with me for some reason.
ClaxtonBay123 You don’t know my brother. It will only be worse.
Ironman and Natasha don’t make it in Avengers.
That’s crazy that our own family members hate on us! It’s worse because you want to celebrate with them but you can’t. Protect your peace folks.
always remember that the people trying to bring you down are below you.
Gonna remember this!
Share nothing about your finances or purchases to anyone! People are self centered and get jealous.
Sounds like they are bragging to their family. My family has no idea what brand of mattress we sleep on. Why bring up what health club you belong to? Just be humble and keep your blessings to yourself.
Thought the same thing. How do they know what gym they have a membership at lpl
Idk - my mom and sister definitely know what gym I work out at and I don’t think it’s that weird to tell someone something like that? Definitely depends on the family dynamic.
Im saying, thats a bit too much.
That was my thought too.. why would someone know what type of mattress you got.. and unless you brought it up yourself.. did someone think to ask if they joined a new gym?
She even felt the need to tell Dave the mattress brand and about the gym in the first 2 minutes of the call.
Next caller, “we have this relative who brags about expensive mattresses”
Hahaha 🤣 underrated comment
😂😂😂
Yep!
good mattresses cost thousands.
You win!
As you become successful, there will always be others that are envious 🤷♂️
Chris Invests that’s why we need socialism. Even distribution of money.
signor pops NO, people who work harder deserve to make more
you know the feeling you have when a rich person flexes. yea that's how fake people will feel towards you when you become successful.
signor pops nothing in life is fair or even. Face it
signor pops go live in a socialist country and tell us how good life is
My mother used to put me down because she was a loser and jealous. My time with her became very limited and guarded. She didn’t like it but I DID.
It’s so simple. Just don’t share your success with those people. Just don’t tell them about all your purchase and expensive lifestyle choices 🤷♂️
If you meet someone wealthy and they bring it up just say “that’s really impressive, must have been a lot of hard work” and they will appreciate that statement. Some of them will proceed to share how they did it giving you some knowledge that has a TON of value. I have learned so much with this but it only works if you mean it when you say it
This has been happening to us as well with my family. The only thing is we haven't had any change in income; but have gotten out of debt. So they are jealous of us being smarter with our money. They are free to do the same.
9
It's easy to shut it down by stop the passive aggressive attitude so many of you middle class folk are taught. Just be straight up and either they respect it or go away. And if they can't respect it, then sparsely speak with them.
The Uber Successful having manners is being “passive aggressive”. So lame.
it be the people closest to you that want to see your downfall. This is just pure envy.
That's not envy that's jealousy theres a difference between the two jealous people will destroy you envious people will help you
@ Envious is worse. Jealousy is where people want what you have. If someone is envious, not only would they want to have it, they don't want you to have it. Take it away from you
@@mattt555 no! jealously is not envy they are similar for example i envy dudes who have good grandparents who are loving caring and loving jealousy is when i want to kill your grandparents because i don't have no grandparents living. Another example envy is when a person who dying wished that he has time as the person that is living jealousy is when you want that person to die just as you are dying
I remember I had a cousin that I tried to help out I even got him a job and one day my wife bought me a truck like straight-up bought it for me with cash she surprised me I was really surprised so I took it down there to show him because in my mind I thought we were we were really close but turns out he didn't look happy he was just shaking his head and crossed his arms and later on just guys actually tried to break up my marriage it's funny how people's true colors come out sometimes nowadays I have learned suggest do the best I can with me and my family and I don't really talk too much about my personal finances or whatever was anyone else
A quote I once came up with: Sometimes the worst kind is your own kind.
Good for you! That means you made it!! I know it's hard to hear that negative feedback from "friends and family" but sometimes that just reveals the truth. That is their own insecurities talking. Keep doing great things and keep the ones that truly support you (usually few) close. Good for you and your husband.
👏👏👏
it is natural to want to talk about things happening in your life with friends and family, and it is sad when you cannot because of envy
When I was addicted and living on the streets in total hopelessness, I was popular with my family. Now, with God in my life, a new career, sobriety, a business on the side, a BRAND NEW HOME coming, getting married, taking care of debts, I tell my fiance to not ever tell our families
It's always at least one person who isn't jealous of your success but is merely inspired. Years go by and they become successful in finances, relationships, etc. I appreciate those people. Yet, they are rare.
I have experienced this too! When you first start earning a large amount of money, you are so grateful and appreciative of the blessings that you want to share with everyone. Unfortunately, most people look past your gratefulness and only see their own envy.
*Dave Ramsey’s next phone call:* “Um yes, we have this family member who is always talking about how much money their business is making. They tell us what gym they go to... they even tell us what brand of mattress they have. How do we get them to stop bragging?
Were they bragging, or did it just come up in the course of conversation? This lady doesn't sound like she's a one-upper or status hound.
Sid Whiting
Yes, But how many people know what brand of mattress you use?
@@topcomment3816 Random, but my aunt called me up a couple of months ago and asked what brand mattress I used. Random, but it did happen. haha.
Lol sounds about right...
@@sidwhiting665 It's hard to say. I won't be too judgmental based on a 6 minute conversation, but it did seem a bit odd to me that she opened with how much money they're earning, in the first 15 seconds. She could've simply said, "Our business is successful..." but she was pretty quick to name a number. That may not mean anything at all, but if I had to make a snap judgment, I would say that she is kind of overwhelmed and excited about the money they are now making, and she's having trouble controlling herself from bringing it up in conversation (because she's still kind of wrapping her own head around it, and is basically like a kid on Christmas showing off her new toy.). This doesn't make her a bad person! In fact, I've been recently guilty of the same thing after I got a (very modest) inheritance. I wasn't meaning to brag, but I was just excited and found it kind of slipping out a bit more than I'd intended. I was basically just excited to finally be debt-free, and my mouth would get ahead of my brain.
See? I just did it again.
Never discuss your income and your wealth. Never.
This all this
Common sense right
Learned that the hard way
@@Imhere12345 I told my business partner I was going rreally good in other businesses, he never looked at me the same way. Today he ran away with our money. I learned the hard way too lol
They discuss people's networth on the internet
Sometimes it's better to keep your accomplishments to yourself. Because people become jealous and envious. The funny thing is they could do the same as you especially if you came from humble beginnings like them. It's just the mindset started to shift. When I started listening to Dave about finances and did my research it just made sense. Their is a saying everyone can't come with you unfortunately. As you move up in life some people can't handle your success and you don't need that negativity.
My parents worked very hard and were very disciplined when they got married during the depression. One of the rules was that people could be helped, but no money was lent to relatives. As their children we all worked on the ranch/farm, and in return we were all given a college education. I didn’t realize what a priceless gift that was until later. Keep your own counsel as to your business success for the most part. The jealous will be there.
People are terrible! Family is the worst. The less you tell them the better. I learned that the hard way.
Never understood about hating on others. Idc who you are. A stranger, friend, family, significant other etc. I always give positive remarks & comments from little to big things that people tell me they’re successful in. Being humble is free99
It's sad when our families start telling us we dont deserve what we are receiving. I had to cut a lot of people out of my life.
You have to watch out with family and friends. They are the ones who are the true Class A Haters.
MJ Bankhead true
Jealousy vs. envy comparison was perfect to show how human emotions/behaviors can be natural, but when taken to the extreme they can become sinful.
No, the comparison was not "perfect;" it was wrong.
Envy is a reaction to lacking something, like a car, job, house, etc.
Jealousy is a reaction to the threat of losing something which is already possessed, like a relationship
I've decided not to tell anyone about my personal financial success unless they specifically ask. I don't need to be validated by anyone else.
Don't tell them everything even if they ask
I married into a family that can't stop talking about money and learned quickly to keep my mouth shut. I decided that it's better to help those that truly need the help rather than those that don't want to have a genuine relationship and are looking for their own benefit, even if it is family.
Life's losers always try to bring down the successful and those who are winning. It comes with the territory.
I have 3 brothers. We grew up poor in a rich town. None of us have wealth envy. Our oldest brother and his wife are SUPER well off. No kids, probably make well over 300k. My husband and I are doing pretty well, way better than our upbringing would expect. My younger brothers are doing okay, struggle, but get by. NONE of us would ever think of asking one another for any money and none would dog the other for what they have.
When I got married my grandmother gave me her diamond ring. 29 years later my husband wanted to buy another ring for me. Relatives told me I should not have 2 diamonds and must give one away. What nerve.
pshh that's laughable, definitely don't listen to them.
Im going through the same exact thing. I have a brother who said to me that he'd surpass me in wealth and education right after i dropped out of college. I didnt say anything to him back then... its been a good 7 years. He worked hard at it and graduated college. To him, having a degree was everything. He s still hasn't found a job in his field and work in a food market.
All the while i was working for myself, flipping cars, selling on ebay etc... I never kept a 9 to 5. My goal was always to get enough money to start my real estate business.
Now, I own rental properties and currently renovating an 8 unit apartment building. I will soon retire at just 32 and will never have to work for someone in my life. He is very jealous of that. He used every trick to attack me. Im planning to cut him off of my life forever.
Don't cut him off its not worth it.
I would just ask him why he feels this way and try to be very real to each other, or if he is just ruining your life then just cut him out
Congratulations on your success and I wish you more! Good for you! 🎉
@@GoogleAccount00 Thank you!
You could offer to hire him as your property manager, really rub it in to him.
Dave never typically addresses these types of issues. Glad he answered this call!!!
Been debt free 5 years including house. Thank you Jesus, and thank you Dave for giving me a show I could stay inspired. My friends and my family just say must be nice. But you where able to do this because? My wife’s family said congratulations and her dad actually cried. That’s a great father in law,thanks Steve D.
When someone makes fun of or downplays my personal success in life, I ask them if my success makes them question their own abilities or past decisions in life... (even if its a relative or family... I don't care)
Dreddy G. That's a quick way to harm relationships. Realize you don't care, but I would be aware of how damaging that could be despite what their comment was.
@@daninbox If people can dish it out, they should be able to take it as well. If someone gets offended by me asking if they question their abilities or past decisions in life, they may as well admit that they do. (Being angry at someone asking this is a very convenient way of avoiding self reflection. But that's just me.) Cheers!
Dreddy G. you probably don’t have many close relationships your attitude blows
@@monkas7270 You are entitled to your opinion. Take care.
Bruh... that's REAL TALK!!!
The problem is that the haters become very sensitive to everything you say. We are in the situation as the caller and our approach is that we don’t brag about what we have or accomplished, but we don’t critique our conversations either. If we have to watch every little thing we say to someone to keep from looking like we’re bragging, then we will keep our distance! Envious people do t take much to get set off! Honestly, they’re going to talk sh*t regardless!
Anyone who's successful had likely made sacrifices to get there 🙄👎
In most cases LOTS of sacrifices.
@@canman5060 yes a lot of sacrifices
True
I’m the daughter of a pastor, and my family’s finances reflect that. I also have a historical fashion sense, so I tend to dress in a way that looks high end. On the street one time a woman muttered “rich girl” in my direction, and I really had a hard time not turning around and asking “Do you want a list of the thrift stores I shop at so you can look rich too?” because I’ve never paid more than $30 for an outfit 😂
🤣🤣
I see that this is a common problem because they see that you are more successful from them... 🙌
I hate those people who think rich people have become rich out of sheer coincidence and we should alienate them from the rest of the society.
Most wealth is luck because you where trying. You can work just as hard or harder than rich people and never get anywhere. Outside force's can have a big impact where your born and how to. Money makes money not work. No one with money works they invest.
@@karlpokorny7130 Don’t undermine hard work because of other hard working people being poor. The hardest part of investing is receiving little compensation in the short term
Family and friends are the last people you should tell! Don’t tell anyone!
I can relate heavily to this. Nobody other than my best friend (who’s networth is 40x larger than mine) and my mom know my networth/income. It’s ridiculous how jealous and mean people can get when they find out your successful. Especially when it’s your close family.
This is my husband’s whole family - we were together for years before we decided to get married and that was OUR decision. That was the one thing they would rag on us for. Also, I was able to accomplish educational and career goals and worked in silence. One of my husband’s cousin (the oldest cousin) is the golden child and for the past few years, that family has pitted us together bc we were the same age. She got pregnant before she got married and since then, they have been wishing that I slip and fall into that same destiny. Within the past year, I finally announced my grad degree, new career, and we got married (without child). The family members have not congratulated me at all and have been distant and resentful towards us.
She should prepare herself. She’ll end up realizing to avoid toxic family members with jealous hearts.
People who love and respect you they be VERY HAPPY for you, because you successful .... Haters will be jealous and broke all the time !!!
Had this exact problem with my wife’s extended family. We largely stopped interacting with them and that’s honestly a shame. But they wouldn’t stop and we felt it was necessary.
Jealousy is the more dangerous. Dave got it mixed up
It’s starting to get awkward with my family as well. I am not extremely financially successful at the moment, I just graduated college - however, i am the only one in my entire family that has a college degree (Civil Engineering). It is very awkward when I talk about my job, trips I’ve gone on with my girlfriend, the car I drive, and things like that. There is definitely a sense of resentment I feel from my cousins and Aunts / Uncles whose kids are around my age and have made the personal choice to not go to college. It’s just very awkward when I am the youngest in the room making the most money and they ask me about things in my life only to find that I live a bit more comfortably than them.
Same here!
Thats probably all you talk about
Ey, I'm a civil engineer too! Which sector are you in? I'm in infrastructure; storm and foul drainage, including flood risk management.
That’s my moms favorite statement “must be nice!”
I refuse to use that phrase. To me it's hateful. When mynkids tell me of their successes, I always respond withvactruthful, and since " That's Great!". Or, " I'm really happy for you!". Why try to discourage people you truly care about, or people who are truly just excited to share their hard work , and sacrifice really paid off? That's says more about you as a person then anything else .
You don`t owe anybody in this life - and if they have a snide remark to make - It means they`re focused on the wrong things and you need to distance yourself from those snakes.
Crazy four years ago I was broke.. in debt … now 4 years later I am over 3 years in my online business .. discipline is 🔑.. I’m dealing with this now
You’re goals
@@n.m8287 🙏🏾
Jealous instead of cheering you on. Very dangerous. You might need to cut off toxic relationships. Be careful. It is none of their business so do not say anything about your possessions and I agree with Dave about hurt feelings. Cut off jerks.
“Money magnifies what’s already there”. Wow!!! That is really perceptive and I needed to hear that.
This means you did something they wish they had the foresight to do! Jealousy and envy have no place in a healthy relationship, I agree with Dave just try and keep yourself to yourself and let them get on with being bitter while you enjoy the good life!
Never tell people how much money you have and what you're buying. Jealousy can be a very ugly emotion.
Never thought that in my life, as a Christian, that I would see jealousy in my immediate family. I always wanted the best for my siblings and still do but when I got older that it was not true the other way it cut to the heart. Nevertheless God is on His throne and I will continue to love!
personal finance- it's just that- personal. I don't discuss our financial situation with anyone.
You don't need that kind of people who are jealous of you . trust me these are the people who will be the first ne looking for handouts of some money when they fall behind and know that you have money.
Why do people think that they should get YOUR MONEY
Jealousy is a mortal SIN !!!
Jealousy is a reaction to the threat of losing something which is already possessed, like a relationship.
So, is egotism.
Yeah. I can remember realizing to myself, "Why do I keep sticking my head in the lion's mouth!?" I stopped sharing details about my life with people who started to demonstrate that they couldn't handle it. As soon as I smell "snarky" or "nay-saying", I back out. Those subjects with those people, no more!
["...but who is able to stand before envy?" The Book of Proverbs]
Envy is the expression of the mediocre people. Drop those jealous people like a bad habit.
ramsey is an absolute legend
I see some friends and family doing really well at it makes me feel bad sometimes like I'm not doing enough, but then I realize I'm living my own life and doing the things that make me successful. I would never THINK to try and bring them down!
This advice touches home. Dave has a true character wether helping people get out of debt or talking to millionaires. He seems like a humble human and I take his advice like he is a wise uncle or father
My thoughts exactly, just don’t tell them. Keep your eyes open and mouth shut.
My family certainly wasn't perfect, but we were great at being happy for one another when good things happened.
This reminds me of my ex girlfriend. An old high school friend bought a house and invited me to his house warming party. My ex saiid to me “Aren’t you embarrassed that your friend has a house and you have nothing?”. That’s when I told her it’s time for you to find a sugar daddy because you’re too expensive. Met my beautiful wife a few years later, we started with nothing. Now we live in an affluent neighborhood with a net worth of 2.6
Most of the people who don’t want you to be successful are the people who’ve known you for a long time. You becoming successful will make people around you take a REAL GOOD CLOSE look at themselves.
This has occurred in my family for decades. DR said it best, it magnifies the relationships as wealth is generated.
Such good advice Dave. I made the mistake of expounding my pride in paying off my mortgage to a good close friend. Bad mistake. So now I keep things to myself.
L.L S. Good job dawg!
Tell us what happpened
Yea... Tell is what happened ☺
What did they say, I am curious.
LOL. Rather not regurgitate old misery’s
People care too much what others think of them. Quit being a jones and live your life. Just have gratitude of everything that comes your way and be happy, because nobody else will.
Wow! 🎯🎯🎯
💯👏💯👏💯👏💯☕
Seriously...life is too short
What's the Jones reference I keep hearing?
WellMiddleFingerMe keeping up with the joneses
I try not to be like that. I haven't been so far but it's not easy to not be jealous. I'm learning to be grateful for what I have and keep doing the baby steps. If we're consistent, my husband and I will be debt free in March of 2024. Very hopeful!!
😅 yay and happy for you..
Solid advice for boundary setting with family/friends ❗️
This is why you don’t talk about your successes to your friends and family. If they feel like you’re doing better than them, they’ll put you down.
Sad but true
I've had people do this to me before. I just stop and look at them and stare at them for about five solid seconds... then go back to what I'm doing. I just don't accept their insecurities. I used to let that bother me like I had to navigate a certain way in my life in order to make other people feel better. All people are doing is showing you that they aren't on your level. Find new friends that are.
I have always been happy for anyone that I have known that achieved their success through hard work and responsible planning. I know a couple of people who are very well off and I love seeing their beautiful photos and hearing about their trips! The thing is there's a thin line between sharing good news and BRAGGING. I dispise bragging! I know some people who have lots of money yet they are easy to relate to, yet others who just seem to push their wealth in your face. My daughter and her husband make much more money today than her father and I ever did and I love it!! I'm proud of them! They are having the time of their lives. It's a relief that I don't have to worry about them coming to me for money!😀
I loved my family and was proud of my siblings accomplishments. It blew my mind when they did whatever it took to torpedo anything I might have succeeded in. Now I understand family dynamics better and how I was the scapegoat child. Sometimes the only thing you can do is cut your losses and get away from poisonous people and make your own healthy path and it's okay. If you are a favorite child then take it for all it's worth. If you aren't a favorite child and have been told to wait your turn then you must realize the reality that your turn will never come and if you want to have a life of your own then you must go no contact and keep everything you do secret and stay on guard for flying monkeys.
Lol my family didn't wanna teach me how to drive get a car ,help me get furniture for an apartment or anything they wanted to stay home and help pay there bills
@@jaredfleming5085 It's interesting how those patters are so common and predictable. When the golden child turned 16 they made sure that he had been well trained to drive and was ready for the driving test and they were very proud of him. I had to do it all on my own and it was several months and several failed attempts getting my license and nobody was happy when I passed. The golden child was given a car had college paid for and got spending money all the way through. Not only did I not get any of that they wanted to charge me rent. Did you get out okay? Did they let you go or do they still try to drag you down?
@@DrogoBaggins987 I took driving lessons got a car started working at Amazon saved saved saved moved out of my home state got my first apartment .rn I'm getting my cyber security certification it took work but it was worth it.I came to the realization no one was gonna save me but me
@@jaredfleming5085 You are unstoppable!
we had been good day
I suspect that our success has ruined our relationship with my in-laws. We are always humble, private and generous about it, yet there is always an undercurrent of resentment. Funny, I think they’d like to be in our shoes financially, but none of them would want to do our jobs!
Definitely be comfortable saying NO to family members begging for money.
Love that Dave recommended the book Boundaries. Such an awesome book about healthy family relations.
It’s also coworkers too. A coworker found out that my house was on the larger size by happenstance and is envious. Can’t be ashamed that spouse makes bank.
Golddigger
I don't know why family and friends get snarky in some cases when people start to become financially successful. I'm thrilled when my loved ones start reaching their financial goals. They've all worked really hard for it. My 24 year old younger brother just got a promotion and now makes more money than I do. I'm thrilled for him because I don't want him to struggle like I did when I was in my 20s. And he also worked really hard for it!
One word. EGO
I hear these stories and realize how blessed I am to have great family. We are all in different economic levels and we just enjoy being together. No jealousy or envy. We made our own choices in life and we live accordingly.
That's wonderful! I married into a family like this and I'm so grateful. I often remind my husband what a blessing they are. I came from a horribly dysfunctional, hateful, jealous, competitive family that I no longer have contact with.
Thank god somebody else has a loving family.. I have sisters love them all for who they are. Some have more some have less i supose but i genuinely want the best for my sisters. My parents are the greatest never treated one better than the other. If there is a favorite none of us know. I never knew how lucky i was until i went to college and saw how other families treat each other.
Benihana Kitty You’re extremely fortunate. That’s the wonderful aspect of marriage, we gain an entire family my in-laws are great!! And no I’m not bragging 😂
Rule #1 don't tell people about your money. Don't even bring it up.