Sadly, we are no longer together as we couldn't make it work. I am single again but I still have hope for the future. Never give up if you fail - learn from it and better yourself! 💪
Oh bummer. Sorry to hear that. It is nice to have a partner who gets you, and grounds you, and accepts you for who you are. I only recently figured out that I have ADHD so I've been absorbing a number of your videos lately. Thank you for these! Man, this is making me wonder if this is why I tend to end relationships before they have much time to grow.
@@Lilith_Fierce Thanks, I have taken time off to focus on making myself happy, feeling much better and have been planning on making a video for the last few weeks. I'm hoping to release another video very soon 🤞
Sorry to hear that chief, it is difficult I can understand that much. There is every YANG to everyone YING etc... just take it steady and it not your fault it's not their fault it. You will find that special someone, I'm undiagnosed ADHD but looking into it thanks to YOUR specific guidance and videos, and you've had to balls (whatever you call it in Wales, Sorry I'm from Yorkshire) to put all your experiences online for the world to share and see, You are a great human being from what I can see and you are open. Yes that fellow partner might be for you but keep up your effort and you will find "The one" and you will get that one who understands you who who you are. All the best and take care.
I feel that trying to convince ourselves that we are "better off single" is a very common but also hidden ADHD sign that a lot of people don't realize or talk about, especially for undiagnosed people with ADHD. Thanks for the amazing video. It gives us hope to know that there are people out there willing to ground and support their partner. So happy you found one
I feel the same mate. I'm 58 now and had to navigate my brain forever I am now on a two year waiting list for assessment.. But pretty much every adhd video hits home. Don't give up. If it what you need
This is great info. My husband and I both have ADHD. And it presents differently for both of us. We both have similar and also different challenges and strengths, too. I can tell when he is going into hyper focus. I get annoyed when he can’t focus when I’m talking or quickly changes the subject. He’s better at managing money than I am. He’s also very understanding and kind and willing to work together on things. I think as long as you don’t make your partner into the bad guy, you remember that you both want the same thing, it can be a wonderful journey together.
Indeed, it is important to be understanding toward the partner, that's also why the diagnosis is so crucial. E.g. my superb over focused ADD husband, is superb at work, which also creates extra worrying even at thinks that do not really matter. He achieved a very high position at work, he is also great with money, bills, etc. BUT, during vacation, he becomes an absolute MESS, E.g., in the airport when our kids were small, I had the kids & all the luggage & packages with me, but 1 package that my partner had. He forgot it in the inspection (we needed to 'abandon' it, because at the point I noticed that we couldn't go back). And this is just 1 example of many. A few weeks ago on vacation abroad, I reminded the family to put everything inside the backpack while we are in taxis , it didn't help: my partner forgot his new phone in a taxi (luckily the taxi driver eventually... did answer). I can give thousands of examples on how he is a mess, out of focus. BTW, as almost all ppl at his age (under DMS 3 when they were children), never tried medicaments. Also, when we had our 2nd child, a highly demanding and challenging boy, it was too hard for my partner to shift from work to family matters: thus, I did not work for a few years and handled all the kids matters since our small son was ~5 yrs old until he and our daughter became more independent, they are still at school, but of course, I needed to go back to work as. e.g. I must save for my retirement, e.g.
I agree on most things you've talked about in this video, but i am a recent diadnosted adhd and my rsd is/was very heavily present all my live. Now i have had cognitive therapy that helped me a lot, especially with work, but i still have difficulties with relationships. Like the paranoia, trust, taking space, asking attention etc. Communicate is def a big part of the solution, but the lack of interest of ppl around me sometimes make me feel small again when i am explaining the why's and they are not really getting into the conversations. Thanks for your video!
I sure do appreciate your honesty and accountability here. Very mature. Insightful too. Your videos are SO helpful. (ADHD partner here) would you consider doing a video on cause and effect? I understand some folks with ADHD have this challenge, understanding cause and effect. My fiance, diagnosed late in life, is one of them. Thanks for the superb content!
Please continue doing what you do. You have found your calling in helping people. If ever you wonder if you make a difference you do for so many people who you don’t know. I am 54 and a musician and your channel helped me discover this condition in myself and my daughter. Thank you
Congrats! I get the better off single though. It is better of being single than with someone who doesn't understand ADHD and pressures you. Glad you found someone understanding. ☺️
Honesty and openness combine with someone you pull in the same direction as…it’s insane. It works, it makes your life better in every way. It gives you direction and purpose. It’s completely fucking beautiful. Your videos have weirdly shadowed my own ADHD experience. I’ve felt similar lows, the cyclical behaviours, the maddening sense of not being quite in control. But let’s celebrate the fact that with genuine honesty and openness we can be our selves and have people whose lives we can make better *because* of who we are. What a gift
I found the same thing with my ex wife. She grounded me and I did better with work and staying routine. Until our 3rd kid. My issues (undiagnosed adhd) started coming out and a few years later we split. Been single 2 years and was diagnosed a few months ago...at the age of 40. Learning how to build routines, again.
Stuart man, it's good to see you posting again and to hear that you're in a relationship is great also! For ya and everyone else that reads this myself I am improving getting better in almost every area of my life, still slow going but I am improving. I work a better job been there 6 months now and I housekeeping at a local college where I live. The atmosphere is much better supervisors are much more accommodating and understanding and work with me. I told my immediate supervisor in an indirect way about ADHD and I have been accommodated because of it. My physical and mental health have improved because it is a less stressful environment to work in. I'm also now able to get projects started that I have been wanting to do for years. And to spend time on things that I enjoy doing. I feel for the present that where I am is where God wants me to be currently.
this channel is amazing, I can tell you genuinely care about this condition we are suffering through. Been binge watching some of your videos and they're great! Thank you for what you do.
You are 101% right on the head. If I could cross your path, I would honestly tackle you down with a boat load of love and 110% attentiveness...as a funny friend, of course.
Thanks for sharing this update! It's so good to hear you feeling positive and happy about your relationship with your partner. Especially after hearing you say you'd given up on relationships! Thanks for inspiring me today to continue to feel hopeful about finding a partner and building a healthy relationship!
I like what you have got here, but I think it goes beyond romantic relationships. I find these things are really useful with family and close friends. I have a couple of very close intimate friends that these tips are very useful for. 👍🏻🙂
Yay! Just an internet stranger here and I am happy for you man! Been watching your channel since around February and it is nice to have a very real perspective, kind of of like an ADHD review lol. I only got diagnosed earlier this year in my mid thirties and I have definitely been thinking that I am better off being single because I get overwhelmed otherwise. Also past relationships have gone as well as a plane crash. This gives me hope. Thank you for sharing :)
Hey Stuart, Great video! I’m so glad to see your doing good nowadays. I remember watching your videos and hearing you talk about some of the difficulties you’d have trying to make friends and even acquaintances. Seeing you found someone for you is amazing and I’m so happy for you! You have made such a difference in how I handle and manage and work through my ADHD and just my life in general and I’m so grateful. This is really useful advice on relationships and I believe it is a challenge but being able to make things work and getting through the challenges and learning to live with them and accepting them as you accept each other holds an invaluable and very special relationship, many wonderful experiences and memories that will last a lifetime. A relationship so strong and so loving. For anyone with ADHD in a relationship, please do your best. Your amazing!
Hey I need to some tips about planning my schedule so I can spend time with my boyfriend. I have problem organising as I work part time and study at university part time as well. I procrastinate too much…. Spend most of my time trying to catch up with homework during the weekend. When I know that’s the only time my boyfriend had free time and can spend time with me …during weekdays I feel not motivated to do any study because I feel burnt out work. I also have adhd and have problems focusing. Btw I’m happy that you met someone special 😊
I'm currently struggling with dating this girl who like me also has inattentive adhd. On one hand we really click because we understand each others struggles and do a lot of ghe same things. The issue is I huperfixed on her and couldn't stop thinking about her every second I was awake, additionally she was super busy all the time and would be hard to meet with or talk too whilst I was very needy and needed a lot of attention. I never wanted to date because I'm so sensitive to rejection but she came to me first so I gave it a go. Currently been on 3 very good dates but it's fizzled out a bit and she said she's overwhelmed and needs to work on herself but said she likes spending time with me. It's so stressful and painful and I'm assuming it's over between us now. At this rate I'll die a virgin I'm currently almost 22 and never had a real relationship.
It's good you're at least aware of it. You've got years ahead of you. Make your life busy and work on yourself to improve your self worth if you feel needy. Keep your options open until someone shows they're worth dating exclusively. Dating is a numbers game, if it fizzles early on that's a sign there's not enough of a mutual connection. Keep going 💪
Important. Dating and restaurants are nice but keep track of your weight. It's better for the relationship and for your selfsteem in case things don't go as planned.
I get overwhelmed with relationships. I tried it! But it they are all perfectionist like me. They all had adhd but very high functional. I think I’m autistic, because I need so much time too recharge. I get stressed in relationships. Unfortunately. I’ve been a people pleaser until my burn out got to much.
Depends what you mean by single. I can't function in 'relationships'. I have my friends and sexual partners as and when I want them and also like my own space. I never get lonely which I've questioned many times but what I have is enough. That said, it took me years to evolve into that and not do what I thought was expected of me. Good luck, Stu. 🙂👍
There's more to life than sex, and similar to meds, we have to learn that dopamine is also dangerous to need. I've been married 26 years and the fact is- life would be atrocious if I did not have a stable and extremely loving partner. I'd have made some shocking mistakes without her. My early mistakes chasing dopamine/ since we don't have any, almost cost me my life. And I could never lower myself to tinder. But good luck mate. Jake in Oz
Congratulations!. This new relationship doesn't mean that you were wrong saying that you better not be in a relationship, as this was probably right to that specific period of time. In general, in a good relationship, 2 people in a team are better than 1. Also, as ADHD brain as a fact, ends the develop (~2 years?) later, is better not reason to rush into relationships
See my only problem was the lying during the entire time I've been with her I've researching nothing but ADHD topics I've never felt an ounce of resentment. It's just this very hard to trust her because she's always coming up with Little White Lies other than that I just constantly try to validate her and give her some reassurance. I will say there is one other big problem within our relationship is it's very hard to communicate with each other considering we're too big introverts there's always nothing but awkward silence
When I was young (already 5 years old) they thought I had heavy ass and mentally disabled. Unfortunately, I also had a very low IQ of 55, besides that I don't care. I then went to secondary education and felt At me 8th different from the rest and best to do as a 'normal school to go'. Unfortunately due to little structure in those 2 years before my father died and big ruze with my father and mother, my learning did not really progress. I could hardly read spelling or math, although school said it was my 'strength side' I do have a lot of trouble doing 2f. After my father died I only really started reading and writing (which was partly due to coercion from my parents and my stepfather. I also learned the tables myself at home and I was well ahead of myself at the age of 13. I wanted to fight with my mother to at least go to the practice, but that didn't work. Me for school: slow and could not learn independently, I decided to do my best
I guess that I don’t have a problem with dating/forming relationships - I have a shelf life of 3-12 months. It’s that ‘long term’ relationship I have an issue in forming.
but the inattentivness is not on purpose...i have to take meds to not get distracted i don't think my partner should not call me out on something i can't control ..its not a personality disorder he can tell me you dint hear what i fully said and say it again but i cant apoligze for something my brain does oncontrably..
When I say 'she calls me out', she doesn't do it in a negative, nasty way - rather just constructively pointing out how it can sometimes cause issues. She knows I'm a human being with feelings that can be hurt and doesn't expect me to apologise! 🙂
How do you feel about Rosea Pills? I have not been diagnosed with adhd, I have Autism, (others think but I doubt that). stimulating the work with me and makes me even less tired of all the stimuli in my environment
i got it bro..im your new subscriber from the philippines ...and i had adhd to and i take ritalin..10mg 2x a day...but almost does not fade for me...i think amphetamines are good for me like adderal or vyanese..but for the Phillippines adhd meds available here..are, ritali..concerta..and non stimulant like stratera..adderal or vyanese nothing in the Phillipines..just only in your country..
True!..Easier said than done.😫 The biggest hurdle is trying to get my spouse to listen to mE long enough so we can "communicate"🤨TheN after feeling like I'm NoT worthy of his "time" I find myself ruminating on him doing something else (as simple as watching TV) til I'm convinced he just doesn't want to HEAR mE talk TheN I get those feelings of dismissal🤦♀️ Im sure you and aNy ADDer can relate how unbearable that is) it then takes my emotions (that were already getting out of control)to a heLL I have NO control over until my energy has completely tapped out.😵 🤯 yeT..on the flip side..🤔at the end of my RSD emotional RAGE filled outburst, I'll find mYself thinking 🤔 how LUCKY &THANKFUL I am to be married to a "Laid back kinda guy" who rarely gets upset/mad🤔 and after more than 3 decades together, he hasnt KILLED mE😬 I hate who I am after my IED/RSD have passed.🤦♀️My emotional issues ARE THE WORST part of my ADD. My psychiatrist tells me its Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) as (Thankfully) the rage will ExiT as fast as it Entered. It's the shame and embarrassment that doesn't seem to make a quick Exit😵🙄Unfort (after being treated for depression and anxiety issues for more than 15 years and no positive changes) I was finally referred to a board certified psych at 48yrs old. It may be the root cause of aLL my STRUGGLES and/or why my emotions will take ToTaL control over me🤯 to the point of (afterwards) I'm NoT, CanT or perhaps I just DON'T WANT to remember HALF of the mean horrible things I've said and/or done.TheN🙄 I'm SO ashamed of mE🤦♀️I WonT even look in the mirror. I AVOID aNy&aLL social interaction with anyone! So.. I just "hide in my box" for days and with my time blindness sometimes I realize🤔 its been weeks since I've interacted with anyone, answered or returned calls and/or checked my cellphone. (Many folks including a some family have given up on me) then of course you know what happens then I get all overwhelmed because I realize how far behind I am on just a normal daily task that normal people do. Ive come to realize my emotional issues are no doubt totally related to my childhood issues🙄not to mention abusive marriage I was stuck in for 7 1/2 yrs to a man with a short fuse and a temper worse than mine. Plus an alcoholic. No doubt he woulda killed me Long ago IF... it hadn't been for (the BEST day of my life😄) when he told me he was in Love with another woman) So after 7plus years of him making threats to "kill me" IF I ever cheated on him or left him..HE finally gave me my ticket to flee!!😁 ... OMDAWG! I'm so sorry I came in the comments to thank you for your advice on your video channel and I've totally ended up in HyperFocus mode...🙄🤦♀️ I tend to add "stuff" I think about when I proof read a comment b4 hitting send.) TheN it seems I end up writing a novel!!🤦♀️😲... (Sorry lotsa stuff is out of order) but I have seriously spent way too much time making this one little comment haha let me add though be sure to thank your partner for the advice she has given me also. In fact I plan to have my spouse watch that video of you two together giving each other advice. And I'm sorry but the subject's about to change to Total different matter because I put this when I was proofreading in the middle of it and I just don't want to go back and change everything I'll be here another hour or more. Oh goodness gracious .....so back to what I was talking about 🤔😂... I wont just "get mad"..I end up going totally Apache on him.🤦♀️🤯 Good thing he prefers to keep his hair shaved. Plus apaches rarely did scalping.😏 .. and I'm not adding anything else. Have a happy day and week. And I'm not sure what time it is on your side of the wherever you're at but maybe this puts you to sleep haha
@@ADHDMastery I remember you saying when you were thinking of a relationship, it's like bringing another round of problems on board, which I thought was a really interesting comment.
Do you have LinkedIn? Dude, be open rather than I like or dislike, quests for perfection in tasks and analytical critical thoughts comes in very handy when pleasing partners dude 😏🤣😆, hope you are as good as can be 😊
@@ADHDMastery sorry, im being filthy dude, I was pushing LinkedIn as your channel is so useful. I was diagnosed at 41 and my experiences are really similar tbh, the NHS are awful for adhd support, your channel provides clarity in the mist, really thankful
These are good tips, I'm in my 30s with adhd and high functioning autism, it's pretty brutal lol, but I'm starting to get my life together and feel better about myself... but I still can't even fathom being in a relationship again, I'd like to, but I see too much negativity and selfishness in others, and generally don't like most people, not to say I'm not also a complete dick sometimes, because I am, but ya, that's where I'm at.
How to learn to manage symptoms…THERAPY! I wished it was that easy. 15 years battling and been rejected for support from the services again! I’ve had more therapy watching adhd content creators in the last year than I’ve ever had by the NHS.
Communication is so difficult. Especially when the other person doesn’t have similar enough interests and you’ll tend to get bored or distracted when they’re talking about their interests. I don’t mean to I really want to connect with him. But I can’t connect with something that’s overwhelmed me or I have no interest in. It’s likely the same with him with video games with me, as he’s not a gamer or even watching shows. I tried so hard to be in a relationship but communication was bad, neither of us had interest in eachothers goals, activities and thoughts. I wasn’t supported in the ways I needed. He had been very supportive and super helpful but he never took time to understand my ADHD. To address the issues. Either way I don’t think we were meant to be together. I can’t will love to work when it won’t work.
I feel like mentioning a story when I was a lot younger, when I was 18. This is when I first started dating and having boyfriends properly. I didn’t know I had ADHD back then but it makes a lot of sense now. I used to hang around a very manipulative guy in college and because I’m quite impulsive I actually did end up cheating on one of my boyfriends! I just wish I knew how compulsive I could be especially around the wrong person. I wasn’t even attracted to this guy that’s the funny thing!
Hi Stuart. You look strong and healthy my friend. It's so great to see you smashing adhd out of the park, because it can take us down deep, even though we battle it in our own ways, it's an affliction that others don't understand at all, yet is so vast for us. I have good days and bad days- I'm so tired of losing my things and having to search for them. I have no systems established because it blows my mind trying to maintain something that requires extra thought. I am flying blind so to speak, and have lived my whole life by feel. Life is awesome on our 7 acres, wish I could still send you pics to give you a smile. My girl and I let the stinging nettles grow because we have tried it as a food source- it is amazing. You harvest the leaves- they can be made in stir-frys and soups, but my first experience was the top big leaves steeped in a glass bowl of water for 10 mins- pour it off and drink the tea. You can put manuka honey but I like it straight. I also stored it in the fridge in a jug and it is way nicer cold- it changes colour to a dark green, but tastes so good. Sounds horrible but it's real nice, and you feel a million bucks. The steemed nettle left in the bowl, I cracked some pepper and a tiny bit of butter, and tried it for the first time. I shovelled it down my mouth it was so good. Even nicer than spinach. The health benefits for my adhd, are just really exciting mate. It's a genuine superfood. You have got to get onto nettle. All the best mate, I don't normally prattle, but were on our way to the inlaws for fathers day, and I have not showered yet. Nothing like rushing last minute in life. My wife just reminded me right then about it ha ha. Whoops, cya. Jake
Sadly, we are no longer together as we couldn't make it work. I am single again but I still have hope for the future. Never give up if you fail - learn from it and better yourself! 💪
Oh bummer. Sorry to hear that. It is nice to have a partner who gets you, and grounds you, and accepts you for who you are. I only recently figured out that I have ADHD so I've been absorbing a number of your videos lately. Thank you for these! Man, this is making me wonder if this is why I tend to end relationships before they have much time to grow.
Better to have loved and lost than never having loved at all...
@@Lilith_Fierce Thanks, I have taken time off to focus on making myself happy, feeling much better and have been planning on making a video for the last few weeks. I'm hoping to release another video very soon 🤞
Sorry to hear that chief, it is difficult I can understand that much. There is every YANG to everyone YING etc... just take it steady and it not your fault it's not their fault it. You will find that special someone, I'm undiagnosed ADHD but looking into it thanks to YOUR specific guidance and videos, and you've had to balls (whatever you call it in Wales, Sorry I'm from Yorkshire) to put all your experiences online for the world to share and see, You are a great human being from what I can see and you are open. Yes that fellow partner might be for you but keep up your effort and you will find "The one" and you will get that one who understands you who who you are.
All the best and take care.
@@ADHDMastery take care. greetings from Berlin
I feel that trying to convince ourselves that we are "better off single" is a very common but also hidden ADHD sign that a lot of people don't realize or talk about, especially for undiagnosed people with ADHD. Thanks for the amazing video. It gives us hope to know that there are people out there willing to ground and support their partner. So happy you found one
I feel the same mate. I'm 58 now and had to navigate my brain forever I am now on a two year waiting list for assessment.. But pretty much every adhd video hits home. Don't give up. If it what you need
First things first, avoid toxic and narcissistic people, they will NEVER understand.
This is great info. My husband and I both have ADHD. And it presents differently for both of us. We both have similar and also different challenges and strengths, too. I can tell when he is going into hyper focus. I get annoyed when he can’t focus when I’m talking or quickly changes the subject. He’s better at managing money than I am. He’s also very understanding and kind and willing to work together on things. I think as long as you don’t make your partner into the bad guy, you remember that you both want the same thing, it can be a wonderful journey together.
Indeed, it is important to be understanding toward the partner, that's also why the diagnosis is so crucial. E.g. my superb over focused ADD husband, is superb at work, which also creates extra worrying even at thinks that do not really matter. He achieved a very high position at work, he is also great with money, bills, etc.
BUT, during vacation, he becomes an absolute MESS, E.g., in the airport when our kids were small, I had the kids & all the luggage & packages with me, but 1 package that my partner had. He forgot it in the inspection (we needed to 'abandon' it, because at the point I noticed that we couldn't go back). And this is just 1 example of many.
A few weeks ago on vacation abroad, I reminded the family to put everything inside the backpack while we are in taxis , it didn't help: my partner forgot his new phone in a taxi (luckily the taxi driver eventually... did answer).
I can give thousands of examples on how he is a mess, out of focus. BTW, as almost all ppl at his age (under DMS 3 when they were children), never tried medicaments.
Also, when we had our 2nd child, a highly demanding and challenging boy, it was too hard for my partner to shift from work to family matters: thus, I did not work for a few years and handled all the kids matters since our small son was ~5 yrs old until he and our daughter became more independent, they are still at school, but of course, I needed to go back to work as. e.g. I must save for my retirement, e.g.
I agree on most things you've talked about in this video, but i am a recent diadnosted adhd and my rsd is/was very heavily present all my live. Now i have had cognitive therapy that helped me a lot, especially with work, but i still have difficulties with relationships. Like the paranoia, trust, taking space, asking attention etc. Communicate is def a big part of the solution, but the lack of interest of ppl around me sometimes make me feel small again when i am explaining the why's and they are not really getting into the conversations. Thanks for your video!
Therapy can help with that
I sure do appreciate your honesty and accountability here. Very mature. Insightful too. Your videos are SO helpful. (ADHD partner here) would you consider doing a video on cause and effect? I understand some folks with ADHD have this challenge, understanding cause and effect. My fiance, diagnosed late in life, is one of them. Thanks for the superb content!
Please continue doing what you do. You have found your calling in helping people. If ever you wonder if you make a difference you do for so many people who you don’t know. I am 54 and a musician and your channel helped me discover this condition in myself and my daughter. Thank you
Awesome, thanks!
Congrats! I get the better off single though. It is better of being single than with someone who doesn't understand ADHD and pressures you. Glad you found someone understanding. ☺️
That's true
Honesty and openness combine with someone you pull in the same direction as…it’s insane. It works, it makes your life better in every way. It gives you direction and purpose. It’s completely fucking beautiful. Your videos have weirdly shadowed my own ADHD experience. I’ve felt similar lows, the cyclical behaviours, the maddening sense of not being quite in control. But let’s celebrate the fact that with genuine honesty and openness we can be our selves and have people whose lives we can make better *because* of who we are. What a gift
I have a great relationship with ADHD - whatever I do, it never leaves me!
I found the same thing with my ex wife. She grounded me and I did better with work and staying routine. Until our 3rd kid. My issues (undiagnosed adhd) started coming out and a few years later we split. Been single 2 years and was diagnosed a few months ago...at the age of 40. Learning how to build routines, again.
Stuart man, it's good to see you posting again and to hear that you're in a relationship is great also!
For ya and everyone else that reads this myself I am improving getting better in almost every area of my life, still slow going but I am improving. I work a better job been there 6 months now and I housekeeping at a local college where I live. The atmosphere is much better supervisors are much more accommodating and understanding and work with me. I told my immediate supervisor in an indirect way about ADHD and I have been accommodated because of it. My physical and mental health have improved because it is a less stressful environment to work in. I'm also now able to get projects started that I have been wanting to do for years. And to spend time on things that I enjoy doing. I feel for the present that where I am is where God wants me to be currently.
this channel is amazing, I can tell you genuinely care about this condition we are suffering through. Been binge watching some of your videos and they're great! Thank you for what you do.
So happy to hear you've met someone and are in a happy relationship! 😊
You are 101% right on the head. If I could cross your path, I would honestly tackle you down with a boat load of love and 110% attentiveness...as a funny friend, of course.
Thanks for sharing this update! It's so good to hear you feeling positive and happy about your relationship with your partner. Especially after hearing you say you'd given up on relationships! Thanks for inspiring me today to continue to feel hopeful about finding a partner and building a healthy relationship!
Bro you gotta keep making these videos for us. Pretty please 🙏
I'll try my best!
I like what you have got here, but I think it goes beyond romantic relationships. I find these things are really useful with family and close friends. I have a couple of very close intimate friends that these tips are very useful for. 👍🏻🙂
Very true!
Yay! Just an internet stranger here and I am happy for you man! Been watching your channel since around February and it is nice to have a very real perspective, kind of of like an ADHD review lol. I only got diagnosed earlier this year in my mid thirties and I have definitely been thinking that I am better off being single because I get overwhelmed otherwise. Also past relationships have gone as well as a plane crash. This gives me hope. Thank you for sharing :)
Thanks! Nice to see a hopeful comment for once :)
Hey Stuart, Great video! I’m so glad to see your doing good nowadays. I remember watching your videos and hearing you talk about some of the difficulties you’d have trying to make friends and even acquaintances. Seeing you found someone for you is amazing and I’m so happy for you!
You have made such a difference in how I handle and manage and work through my ADHD and just my life in general and I’m so grateful. This is really useful advice on relationships and I believe it is a challenge but being able to make things work and getting through the challenges and learning to live with them and accepting them as you accept each other holds an invaluable and very special relationship, many wonderful experiences and memories that will last a lifetime. A relationship so strong and so loving. For anyone with ADHD in a relationship, please do your best. Your amazing!
This is the kind of optimistic outlook I prefer to read!
Hey I need to some tips about planning my schedule so I can spend time with my boyfriend. I have problem organising as I work part time and study at university part time as well. I procrastinate too much…. Spend most of my time trying to catch up with homework during the weekend. When I know that’s the only time my boyfriend had free time and can spend time with me …during weekdays I feel not motivated to do any study because I feel burnt out work. I also have adhd and have problems focusing. Btw I’m happy that you met someone special 😊
Thanks for sharing all this personal experience!!
Welcome back Stuart, great to see you. Best wishes to you both...
I’d imagine when both partners have adhd it’d be chaos real quick
I have ADHD (diagnosed with the combined type at six) and I thought this video was really helpful. Thank you!
So glad to hear your in a new relationship!
I'm currently struggling with dating this girl who like me also has inattentive adhd. On one hand we really click because we understand each others struggles and do a lot of ghe same things. The issue is I huperfixed on her and couldn't stop thinking about her every second I was awake, additionally she was super busy all the time and would be hard to meet with or talk too whilst I was very needy and needed a lot of attention. I never wanted to date because I'm so sensitive to rejection but she came to me first so I gave it a go. Currently been on 3 very good dates but it's fizzled out a bit and she said she's overwhelmed and needs to work on herself but said she likes spending time with me. It's so stressful and painful and I'm assuming it's over between us now. At this rate I'll die a virgin I'm currently almost 22 and never had a real relationship.
It's good you're at least aware of it. You've got years ahead of you. Make your life busy and work on yourself to improve your self worth if you feel needy. Keep your options open until someone shows they're worth dating exclusively. Dating is a numbers game, if it fizzles early on that's a sign there's not enough of a mutual connection. Keep going 💪
Important. Dating and restaurants are nice but keep track of your weight. It's better for the relationship and for your selfsteem in case things don't go as planned.
That's true. We've both gained a little weight as most people do initially.
Interesting perspective
I get overwhelmed with relationships. I tried it! But it they are all perfectionist like me. They all had adhd but very high functional. I think I’m autistic, because I need so much time too recharge. I get stressed in relationships. Unfortunately. I’ve been a people pleaser until my burn out got to much.
Depends what you mean by single. I can't function in 'relationships'. I have my friends and sexual partners as and when I want them and also like my own space. I never get lonely which I've questioned many times but what I have is enough. That said, it took me years to evolve into that and not do what I thought was expected of me. Good luck, Stu. 🙂👍
There's more to life than sex, and similar to meds, we have to learn that dopamine is also dangerous to need. I've been married 26 years and the fact is- life would be atrocious if I did not have a stable and extremely loving partner. I'd have made some shocking mistakes without her. My early mistakes chasing dopamine/ since we don't have any, almost cost me my life. And I could never lower myself to tinder. But good luck mate. Jake in Oz
Congratulations!. This new relationship doesn't mean that you were wrong saying that you better not be in a relationship, as this was probably right to that specific period of time. In general, in a good relationship, 2 people in a team are better than 1. Also, as ADHD brain as a fact, ends the develop (~2 years?) later, is better not reason to rush into relationships
Don’t stop make videos ❤️
All the best fella.
See my only problem was the lying during the entire time I've been with her I've researching nothing but ADHD topics I've never felt an ounce of resentment. It's just this very hard to trust her because she's always coming up with Little White Lies other than that I just constantly try to validate her and give her some reassurance. I will say there is one other big problem within our relationship is it's very hard to communicate with each other considering we're too big introverts there's always nothing but awkward silence
When I was young (already 5 years old) they thought I had heavy ass and mentally disabled. Unfortunately, I also had a very low IQ of 55, besides that I don't care. I then went to secondary education and felt At me 8th different from the rest and best to do as a 'normal school to go'. Unfortunately due to little structure in those 2 years before my father died and big ruze with my father and mother, my learning did not really progress. I could hardly read spelling or math, although school said it was my 'strength side' I do have a lot of trouble doing 2f. After my father died I only really started reading and writing (which was partly due to coercion from my parents and my stepfather. I also learned the tables myself at home and I was well ahead of myself at the age of 13. I wanted to fight with my mother to at least go to the practice, but that didn't work. Me for school: slow and could not learn independently, I decided to do my best
🤦♀️Stay FOCUSED!!👌😊
Good video. Though the audio file only plays in the left channel. You sound bites you tossed in, did play on both channels... But i dunno... ;)
Ffs 🤦♂️😅
Oh yeah, me too. I thought I'd broken my headphones again!!
Oh bugger, should have read all the comments below first. Don't mind me being a pita :-)
Thank u so much for your videos about your experience with adhd, it's really helpful
Make more video 💪
Do not know if anyone has highlighted this but this only plays on left ear
Lots of people have lol
I guess that I don’t have a problem with dating/forming relationships - I have a shelf life of 3-12 months. It’s that ‘long term’ relationship I have an issue in forming.
Yes same here. I go a few years at a time single in between finding a new one. Never had much luck and they mostly end up toxic.
but the inattentivness is not on purpose...i have to take meds to not get distracted i don't think my partner should not call me out on something i can't control ..its not a personality disorder he can tell me you dint hear what i fully said and say it again but i cant apoligze for something my brain does oncontrably..
When I say 'she calls me out', she doesn't do it in a negative, nasty way - rather just constructively pointing out how it can sometimes cause issues. She knows I'm a human being with feelings that can be hurt and doesn't expect me to apologise! 🙂
@@ADHDMastery okay then its different thing. I understood it wrong.
How do you feel about Rosea Pills? I have not been diagnosed with adhd, I have Autism, (others think but I doubt that). stimulating the work with me and makes me even less tired of all the stimuli in my environment
i got it bro..im your new subscriber from the philippines ...and i had adhd to and i take ritalin..10mg 2x a day...but almost does not fade for me...i think amphetamines are good for me like adderal or vyanese..but for the Phillippines adhd meds available here..are, ritali..concerta..and non stimulant like stratera..adderal or vyanese nothing in the Phillipines..just only in your country..
True!..Easier said than done.😫 The biggest hurdle is trying to get my spouse to listen to mE long enough so we can "communicate"🤨TheN after feeling like I'm NoT worthy of his "time" I find myself ruminating on him doing something else (as simple as watching TV) til I'm convinced he just doesn't want to HEAR mE talk TheN I get those feelings of dismissal🤦♀️ Im sure you and aNy ADDer can relate how unbearable that is) it then takes my emotions (that were already getting out of control)to a heLL I have NO control over until my energy has completely tapped out.😵 🤯
yeT..on the flip side..🤔at the end of my RSD emotional RAGE filled outburst, I'll find mYself thinking 🤔 how LUCKY &THANKFUL I am to be married to a "Laid back kinda guy" who rarely gets upset/mad🤔 and after more than 3 decades together, he hasnt KILLED mE😬
I hate who I am after my IED/RSD have passed.🤦♀️My emotional issues ARE THE WORST part of my ADD. My psychiatrist tells me its Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) as (Thankfully) the rage will ExiT as fast as it Entered. It's the shame and embarrassment that doesn't seem to make a quick Exit😵🙄Unfort (after being treated for depression and anxiety issues for more than 15 years and no positive changes) I was finally referred to a board certified psych at 48yrs old. It may be the root cause of aLL my STRUGGLES and/or why my emotions will take ToTaL control over me🤯 to the point of (afterwards) I'm NoT, CanT or perhaps I just DON'T WANT to remember HALF of the mean horrible things I've said and/or done.TheN🙄 I'm SO ashamed of mE🤦♀️I WonT even look in the mirror. I AVOID aNy&aLL social interaction with anyone! So.. I just "hide in my box" for days and with my time blindness sometimes I realize🤔 its been weeks since I've interacted with anyone, answered or returned calls and/or checked my cellphone. (Many folks including a some family have given up on me) then of course you know what happens then I get all overwhelmed because I realize how far behind I am on just a normal daily task that normal people do. Ive come to realize my emotional issues are no doubt totally related to my childhood issues🙄not to mention abusive marriage I was stuck in for 7 1/2 yrs to a man with a short fuse and a temper worse than mine. Plus an alcoholic. No doubt he woulda killed me Long ago IF... it hadn't been for (the BEST day of my life😄) when he told me he was in Love with another woman) So after 7plus years of him making threats to "kill me" IF I ever cheated on him or left him..HE finally gave me my ticket to flee!!😁
...
OMDAWG! I'm so sorry I came in the comments to thank you for your advice on your video channel and I've totally ended up in HyperFocus mode...🙄🤦♀️
I tend to add "stuff" I think about when I proof read a comment b4 hitting send.) TheN it seems I end up writing a novel!!🤦♀️😲...
(Sorry lotsa stuff is out of order) but I have seriously spent way too much time making this one little comment haha let me add though be sure to thank your partner for the advice she has given me also. In fact I plan to have my spouse watch that video of you two together giving each other advice. And I'm sorry but the subject's about to change to Total different matter because I put this when I was proofreading in the middle of it and I just don't want to go back and change everything I'll be here another hour or more. Oh goodness gracious
.....so back to what I was talking about 🤔😂...
I wont just "get mad"..I end up going totally Apache on him.🤦♀️🤯 Good thing he prefers to keep his hair shaved. Plus apaches rarely did scalping.😏
.. and I'm not adding anything else. Have a happy day and week. And I'm not sure what time it is on your side of the wherever you're at but maybe this puts you to sleep haha
My left ear enjoyed this video :/
haha
mate, the audio is only on the left channel!
Take your headphones out
🎯🎯🎯
Stuart do you find yourself more comfortable in a relationship when you are on Adhd medication or off. 👍
Not been on medication for at least a year now.
@@ADHDMastery I remember you saying when you were thinking of a relationship, it's like bringing another round of problems on board, which I thought was a really interesting comment.
Can anybody answer this question?
What is your current medication regimen? 💊
Nothing
What do you use to trim your mustache
Plain old scissors
First!
Meh I rather date a girl who also has adhd instead of a neurotypical
Audio is in one ear.. tripping me out.. cant.. watch....
Don't use headphones
@@ADHDMastery I shall watch it on my cellphone later than!
Your voice is only coming through in one earpiece. The 'yaaaay' children noise is in both though. This is too distracting to listen, sorry man.
I love your videos
Do you have LinkedIn? Dude, be open rather than I like or dislike, quests for perfection in tasks and analytical critical thoughts comes in very handy when pleasing partners dude 😏🤣😆, hope you are as good as can be 😊
I don't quite understand what you meant here
@@ADHDMastery sorry, im being filthy dude, I was pushing LinkedIn as your channel is so useful. I was diagnosed at 41 and my experiences are really similar tbh, the NHS are awful for adhd support, your channel provides clarity in the mist, really thankful
My right ear felt lonely during this video
These are good tips, I'm in my 30s with adhd and high functioning autism, it's pretty brutal lol, but I'm starting to get my life together and feel better about myself... but I still can't even fathom being in a relationship again, I'd like to, but I see too much negativity and selfishness in others, and generally don't like most people, not to say I'm not also a complete dick sometimes, because I am, but ya, that's where I'm at.
How to learn to manage symptoms…THERAPY!
I wished it was that easy. 15 years battling and been rejected for support from the services again!
I’ve had more therapy watching adhd content creators in the last year than I’ve ever had by the NHS.
Communication is so difficult. Especially when the other person doesn’t have similar enough interests and you’ll tend to get bored or distracted when they’re talking about their interests. I don’t mean to I really want to connect with him. But I can’t connect with something that’s overwhelmed me or I have no interest in. It’s likely the same with him with video games with me, as he’s not a gamer or even watching shows.
I tried so hard to be in a relationship but communication was bad, neither of us had interest in eachothers goals, activities and thoughts. I wasn’t supported in the ways I needed. He had been very supportive and super helpful but he never took time to understand my ADHD. To address the issues. Either way I don’t think we were meant to be together. I can’t will love to work when it won’t work.
I feel like mentioning a story when I was a lot younger, when I was 18. This is when I first started dating and having boyfriends properly.
I didn’t know I had ADHD back then but it makes a lot of sense now. I used to hang around a very manipulative guy in college and because I’m quite impulsive I actually did end up cheating on one of my boyfriends! I just wish I knew how compulsive I could be especially around the wrong person. I wasn’t even attracted to this guy that’s the funny thing!
Hi Stuart. You look strong and healthy my friend. It's so great to see you smashing adhd out of the park, because it can take us down deep, even though we battle it in our own ways, it's an affliction that others don't understand at all, yet is so vast for us. I have good days and bad days- I'm so tired of losing my things and having to search for them. I have no systems established because it blows my mind trying to maintain something that requires extra thought. I am flying blind so to speak, and have lived my whole life by feel.
Life is awesome on our 7 acres, wish I could still send you pics to give you a smile.
My girl and I let the stinging nettles grow because we have tried it as a food source- it is amazing. You harvest the leaves- they can be made in stir-frys and soups, but my first experience was the top big leaves steeped in a glass bowl of water for 10 mins- pour it off and drink the tea. You can put manuka honey but I like it straight. I also stored it in the fridge in a jug and it is way nicer cold- it changes colour to a dark green, but tastes so good. Sounds horrible but it's real nice, and you feel a million bucks.
The steemed nettle left in the bowl, I cracked some pepper and a tiny bit of butter, and tried it for the first time. I shovelled it down my mouth it was so good. Even nicer than spinach.
The health benefits for my adhd, are just really exciting mate. It's a genuine superfood. You have got to get onto nettle. All the best mate, I don't normally prattle, but were on our way to the inlaws for fathers day, and I have not showered yet. Nothing like rushing last minute in life. My wife just reminded me right then about it ha ha. Whoops, cya. Jake
fruad
I totally misread the title...I thought the video was about improving your relationship with the ADHD itself (lol, Covid Brain)....
Do you provide adhd talk sessions individually?
.good to know you are doing well ☺️