What is the worst thing a therapist has ever said to you?
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
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Unfortunately, locking kids in closets and making them sit out in the sun at recess is standard punishment of special needs kids in many states. I know someone else from Arizona who went through that, and I personally went through that in Kansas.
Education Major here: yep. I was mortified when I found this out.
Humans are fucking monsters
Jesus crist, i didnt think this was so wide spread, i thought it was like 5-10 schools. im sorry you had to go through that mate
Thats abuse! They all should be jailed!!! Those poor kids are scarred for life!
Also in many states Black students are directed to special education programs, so there's often a racial element to designing the torture of special education students
Not a therapist but a school counsellor said I was not resilient and I was weak. Funny considering I have suffered multiple disabilities, physical and mental health issues my whole life and I am still smiling. I was 17 and had just broken my neck when the school counsellor told me this. After she said this, I went onto get a community award in a project that she was overseeing. I think she was just jealous of what I was achieving. I am now 32 years old and battling cancer and my psychologist said to me a few weeks ago “If someone asked me what the definition of resilience was, I would say your name.. you are the most resilient person I know”. This meant everything to me.
Keep going m8. If you’re resilient enough to battle cancer, nothing will stop you.
@@octopikmin3590 Thanks mate!
You've come out smiling through multiple disabilities, health issues, mental illness, and breaking your neck?
I think you've got this. This is simply the final boss.
@@falconstudios146 Thank you! I have cancer and a deadly autoimmune disease now too, still smiling! 😁 I have my moments which is human and normal, but I pick myself back up again! ❤️
Holy shit asking a SA victim if they thought it felt good? Particularly a child? I'd go after that shrink's license
Also mental health care in this country is horrifically carceral, I've experienced it as an involuntary psych patient in a poor state-run hospital and a voluntary one in a rich private hospital. Both were terrible experiences
I knew a guy who couldn't wear long sleeves because of an asylum. There was snow and ice in the ground, he was manning an out door gate for hours, and still refused to even put on more than a vest. I was raised in the Dakotas, and even I was cold WITH a good jacket and body armor.
Guy got PTSD for his suicidal treatment.
I'm pretty sure story 5 is mine, at least its the same as the one I posted on reddit a while back. I know in my case it happened nearly 40 years ago and it was very difficult to go after Dr's and therapists without some pretty concrete evidence and a hella lot of money to spend on lawyers.
@@mamabear444 it doesn't surprise me in the least. Some doctors are evil. Had a dentist cap all my teeth in the early 90's. I was under 6, and they started falling out the next week. Also had a doctor ignore my aunt's repeated complaints for a decade. It was very obvious cancer.
Some people want the coat and the paycheck, but don't care beyond that.
@@mamabear444I'm very sorry to hear that happened and how you were treated. Nobody should have to turn such a horrific moment into a happy one.
I got the feeling that was a p*do trying to justify their own actions…
My youth psychiatrist on the crisisward was convinced all my behaviour (panic attacks, hyperventilation, catatonic state) was attention seeking. At an afternoon I was completely out of it, crying, she told me: "If you continue like this your parents will hurt themselves"
This was over 18 years ago and I'm still mad, upset and feel like I can easily rip her a new one if I ever meet her again.
holy shit, thats insane.
A lot of narcissists go into the mental health field not because they actually want to help, but because it gives them power and influence over vulnerable people. Some of them believe they're trying to help, but the worst of them are deliberately, actively harmful because they get off on it.
I am convinced at this point that the person who scammed me got her psych degree specifically to be able to identify and manipulate emotionally vulnerable people more effectively.
"Then why haven't you done it yet?!" after I said I was feeling su*cidal.
(I understand sometimes Therapists say this as a means of trying to jump the thinking process, to understand there are still things worth living for, with no intentions of harming their patient.
But understand this, this wasn't my regular therapist.
This wasn't even someone I was even seeing once in a blue moon.
This was happening during an OFFICIAL EVALUATION for dissability retirement, and that was just the last thing after a whole slew of accusations of me being too lazy to work, making up my depression to get attention, and last but not least, informing me, that if it was for HER, I'd never get my disability, and instead would die homeless in a ditch with my kids growing up in foster care.
And yes, I reported her.)
My mother is a very highly regarded psychotherapist in Sweden with a doctorate in Addictive diseases, among other things _(she works with many different people, but _*_mainly_*_ people who are addicts or have eating disorders - but also very much with people who have been abused in different ways, since the overlap between these diseases and abuse are very, very large)_ and I sent her this video and the answer I got from her was that she has never heard of such unprofessional behavior in her life, and almost all of these people _(except maybe the person who got the prompt wrong and the one who had great result with a not so "ordinary" therapist, whatever ordinary is - I know humor can be a big part of good counseling, depending on what you need, and calling out lies when they see them, at least when there's a report built, is great),_ shouldn't be working in a field that they OBVIOUSLY do not care about - or only cares about because of the sick power they CAN get over a persons life. She thought a lot of the people sounded like they abused their power, that's the main gist I got from her response - beyond that she was pissed off as all hell.
She is by the way horrified that, generally in the US, it seems like the church a person is going to offer counseling, or that there are special "christian" counselors for people to seek out. That's a breach of everything that therapy is based on. Do NOT mix in your emotions about something that's so important to you as your faith in the search for healing. You may find some healing in the faith itself, but find your therapist/psychologist *outside* of the church system and make DAMN SURE they are not mixing in any sort of "faith based" advice into your therapy. They are supposed to listen, help and not judge. That's hard for *almost* every religious person to do *if* they mix their faith in with their job in listening to people who are blasting their souls on display in front of them. This is not something she said in context to the video, but she has hammered this home during my life. We are not religious, have never been, Sweden is not a religious country basically *at all* so I have never had these problems, but it can be a good thing for people in religious regions of the world to hear. Sorry if I sound like a "know-it-all", not my mission at all. Just wanted to share what she thought, as it could help someone.
This is such comforting input, thank you. Please send your mother my dearest regards for the professional views.
I had a therapist who told me all my problems was because my mum was an alcoholic... my mum was sitting next to me and she had, at most, one drink a week. I threw the prescription he gave me in the trash and it took years of struggling before I could bring myself to see another. it also greatly affected my mums own mental health.
a few years later when in a meeting with a new, nicer and better therapist. I told her what the last one had told me and my mother, she immediately knew who it was and asked to see my mum.
she told us how the last therapist had his licence revoked for how he treated patients and he apparently gave the same 'diagnosis' to everyone he saw, according to him the area I live in is plagued with alcohol abusing mothers, his diagnosis and treatments led to several suicides.
I'm now doing a lot better. and my mum no longer blames herself when one of her children has an issue.
I had a counselor in rehab who asked me "would you consider the idea that your hallucinations are real and you're actually seeing and hearing spirits?" They're not real, they're hallucinations, and asking me that in the way that she did wasn't something that should have been said.
Your therapist might have wanted to gauge your answer to know the problem better. If she thought that for real then there is something seriously wrong with her.
@@Laszer271 The way that she asked it implied that she was actually wanting me to consider it and not just wanting to see my reaction.
My therapist was slapped into my life because I was dealing with depression for specific reasons. The problem is my life is boring. I'd talk about what I was dealing with over the week (dull, dull and more dull). The actual reasons for my depression went away (my friend's problems that I was worried about eventually went away.) There was no reason for my depression anymore so I called off the visits. On the last day my therapist was called out of the room during our last session. Chuck, my therapist, came back into the room happier than I'd ever seen. He explained to me that I should be happy I wasn't the person he had just seen. The other half of the business was a general medical practice. My therapist explained to me that this patient was just determined to be HIV+. He said that I should be happy I didn't have his problems because he'd have to go home and tell his partner he was HIV+. My therapist was absolutely giddy.
My advice is don't talk to Chuck. He betrayed a secret. I could have met and possibly known that patient in the waiting room. Chuck was more worried about making his life's work seem important than he cared about his patients. He broke the most professional and sacred trust in the world.
Thank god Chuck didn't get into my childhood or he'd have very painful stuff about my life that would have given him bragging rights. Now that I'm not suppressing those memories, I'm glad I don't have someone like Chuck to betray my trust. I have a lot of problems to work out now that the repressed memories have come back, but I'm glad I didn't disclose them to Chuck. He disclosed a patient's deepest darkest secrets to me. God knows what he would have done with my nightmare memories.
I could use help now dealing with the childhood memories I suppressed, but I simply can't trust a therapist. There's the way they market therapy to the world and then there's the way it actually works. No trust. Ho healing. And a whole myth built around the therapy world that they'll protect your secrets. What a load of crap.
"Well, maybe he was mad about something else and you just happened to be there when he decided to let it out?"
Context: in middle school, one of my *many* bullies (the one who tended towards physical bullying) was the son of a teacher and the ex-principal. After he broke my arm, I was blamed for it because I punched him (after he attacked me, to get him to let go of me before my arm cracked) and got sent to a therapist to deal with my "issues" socializing with other kids in addition to being punished both at school and at home. That was the response when I told them what actually happened (that he blocked my locker that morning and became increasingly aggressive to the point of grabbing my arm and pulling it over his shoulder until it broke).
And then they wonder why school shootings are happening
They will never send the bullies to a therapist. Right? Because abusing your peers on the regular doesn't need fixing apparently. 🙄
my sisters therapist told her that she's just lazy. When she was finally able to get a new therapist, she got diagnosed with depression and generalised anxiety disorder.
So, yeah, not just lazy.
One of the caretakers in the clinic once told me that "sport helps with pain", every time i did sport my pain got worse and i had asked for pain meds multiple times that day and was told "to first try without", same guy later got fired for touching the girls.
someone in the clinic told me how his therapist told him that "the voice wants the best for you", the voice told him to kill himself
I told her I needed someone to unpack my trauma surrounding autism with. When I was 18 my mom told me that I had been diagnosed when I was 5 and nobody ever told me. It made everything in my life suddenly click into place, but left behind a lot of confusing feelings that I'm still dealing with to this day.
She told me to take social classes and didn't touch on anything that I actually wanted to discuss.
I don't think OP misunderstood the prompt in story 7? If anything discovering that what happened to you was in fact a crime and not at all normal is honestly horrifying, discovering that how you were treated is the exception because you got unlucky and were put into the hands of deranged monsters. Its fucked, so even if the therapist was in the right it must have been painful.
My last therapist was an older man. I specifically requested a female therapist, but he was the only one that had any availability for the next few months. So I begrudgingly scheduled with him. Basically all he did was recommend the Calm app, despite the fact that meditation makes my anxiety much worse. I often stopped being able to speak entirely during our sessions. The final straw for me was when I tried to open up about the abuse I faced growing up, and explained that I think I have PTSD because of it. He said there was no way I could have PTSD, because my abusers never physically harmed me or threatened to unalive me. And a lot of dancers faces abuse at the hands of their teachers, and I’m an adult now and I can’t keep holding onto that. I ghosted him and I’ve been hesitant to go back to therapy since. I’m on meds and overall doing better now, thankfully. But man he was such a dickhead
Over the years iv had a few bad therapist and sadly have a number of "worst thing a therapist has said to you" stories.
One of my stories:
TW - SA
After I got out of a 4 year long a*usive situation (that included constant physical and s*xual a*use), which left me in a wheelchair (I was completely wheelchair bound for 3 years) and with really bad PTSD that I still suffer with today, I went to a neurological rehab to help me recover (mentally and physically) and relearn to walk, amongst helping with other daily living things.
My first therapist there was supposed to help me develop coping mechanisms for my PTSD, work through my feelings about the a*usive situation I just left, and my feelings about how my life has changed so much after going from being able bodied my whole life to being completely wheelchair bound and house bound in a short 6 month period. I couldn't even stand up by myself, or walk a single step, when I started at the neuro rehab.
Unfortunately this therapist did NOT help me.
During our first session I gave her a run down of everything I had gone through, including details of the worst of the a*buse, the whole time I was talking I was uncontrollably crying and shaking, and when I finished talking she looked me in the eyes and said "wow, just get over it already and walk, it's not that hard".
I left right then. I wheeled myself out of that room, a complete mess, and refused to attend any more therapy sessions until they gave me a new therapist.
The neuro rehab was incredible and I'm so grateful to have been able to attend. Thanks to them I can walk again. Yes I use a walking frame all the time and still (5 + years later) occasionally use my wheelchair on my worse days, but atleast I am no longer trapped and having to rely on other people for absolutely everything.
If your having issues with a therapist, or feel you aren't getting what you need out of ur sessions, it's worth switching to a new therapist. Sometimes therapy can be abit of a "hit or miss" situation, but please don't let one bad therapist stop you from getting the support you need.
This story is my twin's:
TW - Transphobia
When my twin (29M) first came out as Trans (FTM), around the age of 18, my mum took him to see a therapist. This was to help my brother understand his identity better, to help him develop better coping strategies, and in the long term get him a Gender Identity Disorder diagnosis and get him on hormone treatments to help with his transition.
Me, mum and younger sister were very supportive of my brother's transition and tried to support him as best we could, but we knew a specialist therapist would help him alot more than we could.
The therapist my mum took him to see was supposed to be a specialist in Gender Identity Disorder and Gender Dysphoria. So on paper everything looked promising.
However, near the end of their first session the therapist said something that made my brother refuse to go back, and in the long term really messed with him and set him back years in his transition.
After my brother explained his situation and answered every question, my brother asked "what are my next steps? I don't know what to do."
And the therapist, while smiling, responded with "Your a girl. Not a boy. Oh sweetie, your just confused. So you need to grow your hair out. Start wearing makeup, the more the better. Get a boyfriend. Start acting more feminine. And buy some nice girly clothes, a few dresses should help. That will make you look and feel like the girl you are. Don't worry, this is just a phase, your not a boy, your a girl, and if you do what I say then you won't be so confused anymore. After all you were born a girl, and you can't change that, no matter what you do".
Honestly what the therapist said is one of the most vile and unprofessional things iv ever heard a therapist say to a trans person, and its one of the things that comes to mind whenever I hear stories of bad therapists.
After that appointment my brother came out to the car crying his eyes out, shouting about how awful this therapist is and how he's never stepping foot in that building again. Which honestly his was completely understandable.
Mum filed a complaint about the therapist, and then went on the hunt for a new therapist for my brother.
After a few months of trying mum discovered a Gender Clinic an hour away, which was highly recommended in the area, so she got my brother on the waiting list, and a few months later my brother got his first appointment with this new clinic.
When he came out of his first appointment there he was so happy and was really excited for his next appointment. He absolutely loved his new therapist and has been going there ever since.
The gender clinic has helped him with every step of his transition and have been a massive support for him during the good times and the bad.
My twin has known he was a boy since we were 3 years old, I was the first person he came out to, and iv supported him every step of the way. And today he is very happily living as the man he is and the man he was meant to be, massive beard and all :)
Despite the rough start he had with a bad therapist, his transition is going very well and I've never seen him so happy.
The right therapist for you really can make all the difference.
"you don't deserve to get better" and sometimes I still believe her.
The Story 13 guy is right. Those in abusive situations need to be prescribed a normal life away from their abusers. id say at least 2 years so they can live a normal life and use it to get on their feet. Alot of stuff goes away for a person if theyre allowed to do that in alot of cases. youll suddenly find that some of the people condemned as "useless" or "stupid" or "failures" end up being pretty damn great without all the toxicity and actually thrive. This is why high housing pricess are dangerous to people. They keep people in bad marriages and abuse situations if they cant afford to a place on their own
I had to go to therapiats to get my gender dysphoria diagnosis. I was asked many questions. Most of them invasive. Most of them useless to determine if i actualy have dysphoria.
Due to needing to see multiple therapists and a doctor i have been on multiple waiting lists. I never got any estimations , just well contact you when we have an appointment. This seemingly endless waiting was what made me attempt suicide.
When i finaly got to the last one i need, he tells me that i got it but only barely. I lost my trust in medical proffesionals for a while after that. It made me repress the issues of CSA and other abuse i had suffered which where then just coming up. I had to lie to all of these people.
I am now on hormones. I can look at myself in the mirror and dont hate my face. I dont hate my body anymore (with one exception but i have the date when that will be solved). I lied and would have not gotten my diagnosis i needed if i was honest. If that had happened i would have ended it.
I also have a new therapist who only once droped her proffesional calm and that was when i told her all this. She was mad at them. Seeing her helped a lot and she also helped with the issues from the CSA and the mistrust of medical professionals.
I had a therapist who didn’t believe I wasn’t molested and told me flat out that they thought I was molested and “blocked it out”. Who does that? I mean it may happen to some people, but you let them find that memory themselves… you don’t try to plant one.
When I went to middle school, I had some really bad panic attacks almost every day. My mom sent me to the school counselor who my brother had previously gone to and said she was super nice. So, I went and for some reason they didn't give me the school counselor to help me, but instead a random hall monitor who was known for being super strict and mean. Anyway, instead of helping me feel safer at school or whatever she was supposed to do, she told me to list what made me anxious, even though sometimes I didn't have a reason. When I listed something, she would just scoff and say something like "oh that's not a reason to get upset" and things like "Well just stop being scared of that" and "just stop having anxiety." It was terrible and my mom didn't make me go back.
Two things stand out to me. The first was a therapist who tried to diagnose me as delusional because i had hallucinations ((c)ptsd sympoms), completely ignored the obvious depression and autism, and tried to put me on an antipaychotic that I'd heard basically makes you a zombie if you don't actually have any kind of psychotic issues. I walked out and had my mom take me home.
The other was when my last therapist told me she was effectively being fired for not having enough clients. She didn't say it outright but in hindsight it was obvious. She helped me more in one month, without medication, than anyone or anything else had in the entire rest of my life. She actually was the first person to really understand me, and help me understand myself and what my emotions were, and how i could communicate those and communicate my needs with those around me. She helped with my (c)ptsd and helped me deal with the breakup with my abusive ex girlfriend. She was one of the few people i trusted enough to come out to when i realized i was trans. She's the reason i considered switching my dream from game development to being a therapist, because i wanted to be like her and help people like she helped me.
That one last conversation however, saying that this person who'd basically saved my life and seemed to understand me better than i understood myself "wasn't good enough" (according to how my brain processes firing as punishment) basically told me that I'll *never* be good enough, that the world isn't fair, and that good people often get the worst of the problems. That has done far more damage to me mentally, i think, than any other single event i can remember.
Getting told that I need to put on a mask and learn how to 'act normal' to 'hide what's wrong with me' as a teenager. I'm autistic and that really messed me up because it basically convinced me that I, as a person, was so unappealing to know and talk to that I'd be better off pretending to be something I wasn't. I never went back to that psychologist.
my previous psychiatrist would throw a rubber ball at me every time i said “i don’t know”. to this day i’m still afraid of saying i don’t know to someone of authority. i have a new one now and she’s great luckily! i’m sorry to everyone who had to go through things like that
Therapy is a very... iffy thing. Some therapists are really good and genuinely try, while others just follow a sham routine that doesn't even work.
When I was around 13-15, I was going to therapy for my immense anxiety and depression, they decided to put me in group therapy sessions with other kids.
Sadly, the only other kids they had for these groups were the 'bad' kind of kids. The ones constantly in trouble and constantly causing trouble. The only things they did were try to teach them to be good kids, while I practically got taught nothing; I was already a good kid, I just struggled to handle my emotions that drastically affected my motivation in school.
My dad immediately pulled me from these group sessions when they tried to force me to play board games meant for smaller kids, like Candyland. I really didn't want to play those board games, and the cherry on top was when they only gave icecream to the kids who participated, even though I highly doubt that they learned anything.
It was back to solo sessions from on that point forward, although eventually I just learned to conquer my issues myself with the help of some friends.
I told my first psychiatrist that i had voices in my head telling me to unalive myself and to cause harm to my body. He didn't even increase my medication. he just sent me off while I was sobbing. (I was 12 at the time, i believe.) No longer works in the field last I heard.
mine said when i was going into 6th grade, do you think it’s appropriate for a middle schooler to be sitting on the ground? never went back
One therapist actually told me I should try drinking some wine before bed when I was an emotional wreck and couldn't sleep at night after the end of my first relationship (of 5 years). She KNEW I was diagnosed with ADHD (which makes you way more succeptible to alcohol addiction and others) and still sugested alcohol to me while in crisis. I'm so glad that I didn't take that advice. I've always been extremely careful about drinking alcohol and would never drink outside of the occasional social setting (and even if others are drinking I'll decline more often than not) and especially not while feeling down.
my psychiatrist said she couldn't diagnose me with any personality disorders or just general disorders despite me having so many symptoms that affected me in my life. She said it was because i had "too many friends to be crazy" One year later, things got worse and i went to another psychiatrist and turns out i was diagnosed with not only autism but schizotypal personality disorder with a very bad thought disorder
The worst thing I ever hear wasn't said to me, it was said to a friend - a mental health nurse told my friend she would never get better unless she got some friends, to which my friend replied 'V is my friend', to which the mental health nurse said 'Her? She can't be your friend, she's autistic, THEY don't know how to have friends'.
And being borderline doesn't automatically make you manipulative or a liar either. The stigma with both BPD and autism is crazy.
You mean having right? People aren't their diagnosis.
@killuanatsume Yeah I know. Just weird phrasing.
There are definitely a few therapists in these stories who should easily be held accountable for ruining another person's life (or at least helping to do so.)
My therapist told me that I needed to see someone more regularly for my “issues” (major anxiety and depression) as I was only seeing her once a month. She gave me the paperwork for a few other places and then wouldn’t follow up with me to see if I was able to get onto the books of another therapist. Trying to see another therapist has been a pain as they either do group sessions or couldn’t work with my work schedule. My meds management lady also vanished around the same time and I got put with a different psych nurse. Which I no longer see due to the company messing up my most recent appointment with him then told me I need to find a time to call them to get back onto his schedule and that they wouldn’t reschedule me at the front desk
That's rough. Remember that your health and well-being is the most important investment. Invest more time in yourself and find a better therapist, maybe someone who has good opinions online. Good luck and stay safe.
When I was in high school I was (and still am) struggling with anxiety and depression and finally went to the school counselor and got referred to a therapist out of school. The first therapist I ever saw out of a school setting heard about my fear of death and anxiety, as well as being atheist, and proceeded to try to talk me into considering believing in god and the afterlife while I cried and had a breakdown because of my fear. No wonder I don't trust many therapists to actually help now. That and the focus only on my apparently 'not bad' anxiety and complete dismissal of my depression and almost every single counselor or therapist (with the exception of one lovely trauma therapist who was adhd with autistic kids) hearing about me being diagnosed autistic and proceeding to immediately point out how 'you can make eye contact and talk to me so clearly you aren't THAT bad'
Also to add on, I was in the hospital one time on account of an od, and when they asked if I was planning on doing it again, I didn't even say no just 'I don't know' and they were like 'eh it's fine you can go home lol'
All of my 5 mental health "professionals" that I had including the one I have right now straight up tried to gaslight me into getting mentally healthy. First one (a psychologist) didn't even said anything like 99% of the time and when she did like one time I said I tried to kill myself last night and plan to do it again this week in a more dangerous way, she said "This will pass too, you just can't see it because you're too young!". Second one (psychiatrist) didn't have time, like never and he told me to only come if there was something wrong with my meds. When I told me concerns about being neuradivergent (probably both ADHD and autism) he brushed it off, saying "he'd understand it from my eye". If I tried to get an appointment it'd be 4-5 months later so he told me to just slide in after a client went out before next one can come in, and we'd talk for max 5 mins about what's wrong so he'd lower or higher the dosage. Third one was at the psych ward because I harmed myself and it needed serious medical attention and if I didn't go to ward, they'd put my mom and dad to jail if I did something similiar for not letting me get the care I needed. Lots of things happened that summer but that's another story. The doctor there gave me a medication which made my left arm go numb and it even felt like paralyzed but it also hurt so much I'd just cry and try not to move to not make it hurt but it was really bad. The doctor said "It'll pass." when I told her my situation. It didn't for 2 days. She also said I can't have ADHD because I'm not like the other kid there who has ADHD and anger issues who is very violent and took my book that I paid for away about handling ADHD without medication because "it could make me believe in it more." Fourth one was like an older sister which I went to have a chat, but didn't really help me (again, said I can't have autism because I'm not like her 6 years old autistic client). The one I have has ADHD himself and he said how the hell nobody realized I have ADHD, but he is very uninformed about autism. He just doesn't seem to care when I try to talk about my trauma and stuff and says "there's a huge hole in the wall (depression) we gotta fix it first, those are really unimportant when compared to that!" I just gave up about telling him I need to heal from my trauma first to heal my depression. Also when I told him that I finished writing my suicide letter and I was ready to go, he said "you see, when you don't do the homework I gave you this happens! You must do it!" I can't change it because of my family (I'm 17) but next year I'll choose my mental health professional myself and we'll see how it goes. (wow sorry for long rant lol)
Mine was seeing my parent at the same time... And I was dramatic and the depression and wanting to not exist anymore was all in my head. I was barely a teen.
I'm studying Psychology at the moment and it makes me sad that there are incompetent people in the field that won't help you they just wanna make money and give unhelpful judgemental advice. Therapy is supposed to be a safe non-judgemental place where you feel heard, not traumatised. If a mental health professional makes you feel unsafe, invalidated or showing red flags, change immediately!❤
I actually got too depressed to do it. I knew if I went and didnit, things would get worse, and all the suffering was for naught.
The best piece of advice I've ever heard didnnot come from a therapist, but from Dennis Leary on his No Cure for Cancer album. "Life sucks, get a fucking helmet"
the worst thing my therapist said was what they didn't say.
Which was warn me that my parents had bad news of my Uncle's death.
A WEEK AFTER MY STEP-GRANDFATHER DIED!!!
I am so sorry for all of you. .those worthless therapists should be fired and lose their license! Wishing you all healing and the best ❤
I have two.
I first started therapy when I was 16 for depression. My therapist saw me once a week for two months. She then told me I had depression because my sister had diabetes. Um, no? Wtf, why would you blame my sister's disease?
Later, I was seeing a different therapist. He diagnosed me with bipolar and sent me to their psych doc for meds. She prescribed me something, then told me I needed to also get on birth control because I "obviously can't keep it in my pants". I was 21, married, and had just had my first child. Even if I had seven children, it's not her place to say bullshit like that. I told my therapist what she'd said and never saw her again.
My therapist said that I'm so self-aware that I almost doesn't need a therapy, we only see each other once a month, depending on the next session my therapist said it can even be once every 2 months.
My Psychiatrist was mad that I wouldn’t talk to him. I was scared. He then told me and my mom that he doesn’t treat suicide there, and would call an ambulance if we wanted to. Never went back.
Old Therapist was mad that I wouldn’t talk to her for anything serious, because I didn’t have anything serious to talk about that session. It was my second session with her, and she said that I’m wasting her time and mine. Never went back.
Not many people give a crap about us
A therapist, my first, told me i was ‘too hopeless’ for them and i had to seek help from another. So i went to another institution and was told the same. For my current, there was a 40-week waiting list and during that time she just put me on meds to regulate my panic attack but instead i got depressed because of the meds. Now i have a new therapist which is helping a lot! It’s been almost 4 years since the first but it still hurts, knowing i was once ‘hopeless’ to them.
Not long after my step father had passed from avery traumaticl terminal lung cancer (he and my mother were together for 25 years and I always had a great relationship with him), my dog who was my soul mate passing a few months before that and I had just lost my job, my then psychiatrist said I was spoiled and should think about the good things in my life, like I was complaining too much or feeling sadder than I should. I was also living in a house that was not mine and the owners made sure to tell me it was temporary, so I was telling how hard it feels to be in that situation being unemployed. She answered saying something like "when your father dies you'll inherit his house, so that's fine". My second father figure had just past away... I got so angry and stopped the appointment, never went back. Still haven't had any new appointments with other psychiatrists.
Some “therapists” should never be allowed to practice. They can do more harm than good. My mom stopped going after one laughed at her poetry when she and her kids could have really benefited from it. I stopped for awhile after one told me to read the Chicken Soup books. And one told my daughter who at the time wanted to go to Portland, OR to punch herself in the eye and find a battered woman’s shelter there and they would set her up. Thankfully she didn’t take the advice. But wtf?
I ended up seeing my first ever therapist at 15 because I eventually confessed to wanting to die after 3 years of suffering alone during an argument with my parents.
Obviously, I kept a lot of shit buried and ended up self harming as a coping mechanism, which just led to more pain and anxiety due to having to hide the scars and cuts on my legs from the people in my life.
It took a lot of courage to open up to my therapist about it, and I was practically sobbing and shaking uncontrollably when I was done because she was the first person I'd really ever felt comfortable telling. Once I'd calmed down enough, this lady just looked at me like a deer in the headlights and told me to not shave my legs if I got the urge to hurt myself, as if I was worried about leg hair while I was heading towards carving words into my skin.
I left that day feeling absolutely drained and with zero coping mechanisms to help me stop. Even offering the generic advice you can find online would have been better than what she said to me, but that was all she gave me and we never spoke of it again.
She also made absolutely zero attempts to comfort me or even acknowledge how difficult it was for me to admit it, and he way she looked at me and the tone in her voice just made me feel like she was judging me. I never really had the courage to open up about it after that, and it took me until I was 20 to finally start opening up about my past, and I still almost have a panic attack when I tell someone.
I eventually had to make the effort myself to quit, and it took me until I was 19 to finally stop. Even now, at 24, I can see the scars, but they're thankfully faded enough that you wouldn't see them if you didn't know what you were looking for. I just wonder how different my leg would look if I'd actually gotten the help I was desperate for back then instead of having to struggle with my addiction alone. Maybe I wouldn't have been relying on it so heavily that I can still feel a slight urge to grab a razor again if I'm reminded of it.
I've thankfully managed to stay clean for over 5 years now, but it'll always be a part of me, and have more permanent reminders of it than I should.
“You don’t wanna become like one of those lazy depressed people”
I was about to tell her I was struggling with sh and suicidal thoughts.
i had a psychiatrist (much older man) that told me i dont have ocd because i dont wash my hands until they bleed. yeah, but when im around "unclean" people, places, or objects i hold my breath until i almost pass out? that same psychiatrist during the same session announced my weight out loud after my mom and i told him i cannot know my weight due to my anorexia and i went on the scale backwards. that session was the last straw for my mom and she got me a new psychiatrist. who, unfortunately, we had to drop after she told me i wasnt anxious, i was experiencing side effects from a medication ive been on for a year? got a different one and increased my zoloft and guess what? anxiety went away.
also had a therapist while in a residential that didnt meet with me for over two weeks (we are supposed to meet 2 or 3 times a week). it took me sobbing and yelling at this lady to take me and she was just like "i was coming to get you, be patient". no stephanie, i will not be patient when ive met with my friends therapist before i even knew what you looked like.
and finally, i had a lady who worked with "adolescent medicine" who told me that since im scared of growing up that im going to die and compared me to an animal multiple times. this lady also scolded me for "not breathing properly" everytime we saw her and forced me to have an impromptu obgyn visit at the end of our (thankfully last) session, after i told her that i dont want to (i hated that lady and have a history of sa). OH and she told me i dont have an eating disorder because i liked the structure of being in treatment (i have two eating disorders, one related to my autism, which most likely contributed to my love of structure. who wouldve thought?)
I was sent to a behavioral institution after a break down at school where suicidal tendencies came out. A nurse or orderly or whatever, told me 2 days into my inpatient stay that I am to calm and obedient to need help. Yeah lady, my overwhelming fear of disappointing authority figures at the age of 12 leading to suicide tendencies doesn't make me calm and obedient nor needs help sorting out.
I remember going to a counselor as a kid who told my parents there wasn't anything wrong with me because I wasn't actively self-harming.
Went for anxiety and depression. Had the shrink tell me she didn't know what to do with me. I was a mild case and I told her basically if she couldn't figure out 2 very common issues she should find a new profession and hung up.
All these stories remind me of the time I was an out patient at the mental hospital and I was having a pretty serious mental breakdown. One of the nurses sits with me and asks “would writing a suicide note help?” I remember very vividly taking my hands off my eyes and just looking at her like she had two heads
I was struggling with addiction when I asked my therapist what I could do to stop when she said “Just pray about it”. To be fair, she worked for a faith based organization, but the response was so callous and inappropriate that it turned me away from her for good. I have also since deconstructed and I’m no longer a Christian, so that kind of advice really doesn’t get me anywhere
I was still in the process of applying for disability. The process was causing my mental health to tank so I sought out a therapist. Everything went fine for a few months before he decided I needed an ultimatum. Get a job, or quit therapy. At the time, I could either stand or sit for about 2 hours while being productive. I struggled to focus for longer than seconds at a time. It made every job within walking distance, as I didn't have a car and public transportation was kind of expensive, impossible. After 2 sessions of that ultimatum, I stopped seeing him at all. He quit pretty shortly after. I imagine he got fired after I talked about it to other people in the mental help group he was a part of. Never going to know for sure and don't particularly care to. I guess he missed the guilt complex that we were working on the first few months and didn't click with him that I applied for disability as a last resort.
"Hey, I've got patients who have real problems."
I was in the ER that night for intentions. Half the patients in the psych hold were patients of that one therapist.
One of the most infuriating things I've been told whenever I've been looking for help with anger issues is to simply let go of some stuff from my past, and to just move forward with my life. That's cool advice and all, and if I knew how to do that, I would. But I can't and I've been blowing up at the smallest annoyances for several years now, so even if it's just a matter of "moving on", I clearly need help to move the fuck on.
I had it in my head that when you go to therapy the therapist was supposed to listen to you. And they had the first time I went when I was in first grade. But a year ago when I went again the person didn’t listen, and would always turn to my parents (I was too scared to be alone with a stranger and I have no gripes with my parents, so one of my mum’s would always be in there with me) and ask *them* the questions instead of me. She would also never accept the answers I gave her when she did ask me directly, and would always say ‘are you sure?’ Over and over until I broke down. It got so bad that I started *dreading* going to therapy. I would get such bad anxiety over it whenever the next week rolled around. Eventually my mum took me out of it and I honestly don’t know if I’d be able to do therapy again. I was supposed to be seen (and maybe figure out if I had autism among other things) but instead I was ignored and made to feel like shit.
Honestly don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust a therapist again, but sadly I’ll probably have to go back one day. I dread whenever that will be
When I got diagnosed with OCD, my former therapist said it was irresponsible.
When I got diagnosed, I was also in the process of trying to be tested for Autism (again). They said I was masking due to other issues and they needed to find out what it was. I had a zoom call with a psychiatrist. We will call her “Overalls”. Overalls and I talked and towards the end, she said “(My name), I think you have OCD.” and Overalls was so sure of it. I told my therapist what overalls said and she [my therapist] said it was irresponsible. A few months later, I was diagnosed with OCD. I showed clear symptoms and my therapist thought it was absolute bullshit. I found it pretty weird. I no longer see that therapist. Not because of what she said, she had to leave. But, it was just so weird…
My parents insisted I see SOME kind of a doctor when I was a young-ish teen, because they thought not being happy go lucky, not being energetic or outgoing, and avoiding excessive socializing meant something was wrong with me either physically, chemically, or emotionally. They tried everything from birth control to manipulation to counseling. Each one leaving me with lifelong side effects that I probably never would have had if they had just left me as I was.
By trying to "correct" me, all they did was make things worse. The birth control triggered abnormalities which likely destroyed my fertility and will probably cause me all kinds of pain for the rest of my life. The manipulation they tried to do has probably permanently caused all kinds of mental issues like depression, anxiety, ptsd and trust issues, so by trying to force me to be more socialiable and whatnot they actually turned me into someone who loves being a hermit over trying to connect with any living thing ever again. And now, to the psychologists i saw, note the plural. The first one didn't exactly go for client confidentiality and was more of a talker than a listener, and the last one made me swear to never confide in another living creature ever again. She had literally set up a situation for me to be at my most vulnerable in front of the very people who were causing me anguish and she just sat there and watched as my own parents roasted me, thus creating yet another traumatic moment in my life which eventually added to my desire for suicide.
Before they tried to "fix" me, I was a shy, quiet, gentle, happy, lonely kid who was just being myself while lacking a positive influence and someone I could look up to. But it was because of my parents thinking there had to be something wrong with me that I started feeling depressed and like I was "broken goods". My mother wanted the perfect Barbie doll daughter who did everything she wanted, in fact, I later found out that the only reason my mom didn't try to put me in beauty pagents is because they make kids act like sexualized older women. She was so determined to have this perfect daughter that even though she already had 3 boys that were super tough to handle each in their own right, she was going to keep on having kids until she finally got a girl. Well, joke's on her, I'm the biggest tomboy a girl could possibly be. My dad wasn't like that though, he didn't expect me to be a certain way, but... he was the kind of dad that when he was angry he was the 6 ft tall 200+ pound of muscle dude that would scare even a police officer when he got even a little too serious, who throws tools with no notice and keeps a gun out in the shed for no apparent reason, who demanded his kids to assist with hard labor as soon as they knew not to slice off their own fingers..... for a very petite sized little girl who's ultra shy and quiet... it did a little more than build character, it built skills you never thought would be necessary, and muscle... lots of muscle, and a tolerance for pain and blood. (my friends and classmates were a little thrown by my attitude and strength in those rare moments - I beat the boys in fitness tests, and bullies or teasers quickly learned to steer clear of me 🤣)
So, I now I have a medical disability, a few mental disabilities, and an intense aversion to what it would take to fix either. But, you want to know what stopped me from committing suicide? It's a real kicker. The moment I told my parents I was suicidal they didn't believe me, so I told them I had just tried to commit suicide not 5 minutes ago and they acted like they either still couldn't believe it or didn't care. I was this close to killing myself with a knife in my room when I got scared, then told them what I just mentioned, and from their reaction I realized "why should I die when they aren't even going to care". I could probably word it differently so it made more sense, but that was the basic idea. Like, "why should I have to kill myself, and be in a ton of pain, just because my family is full of jerks? I'm a good person, I did used to be able to make and have friends, I never did anything but be honest with myself about who I am and try to make the people I thought I loved happy. I don't deserve this."
Conclusion, nearly a decade later and I'm still fighting for myself. My depression and anxiety doesn't get the better of me anymore, although my ptsd is still kicking my but here and there and my trust issues are at their worst, but I haven't been suicidal in years and even today I was super happy just by going on an errand to the store and hearing Christmas carols (even though my family has made me start to hate holidays), and it wasn't because I got ANY outside help, but because I helped myself and disowned my family. I am who I am now, not because of what they made me, but because I am one hell of a tough cookie. Just because I enjoy my alone time, get nervous around people, and don't express myself very well - it doesn't mean I'm weak willed or incapable, it just means that you probably won't see me coming because you thought it was okay to ignore me. People may freak me out, but I've performed on stage many times in dance, acting, and music and I enjoyed it every time - i just don't do verbal very well.😅 I'll take on the world if I have to, just don't make me take a phone call...... please.😂
(P.S. in my worst times I happened to get to talking with some other kids who were suicidal, and I always helped to talk them through it. Some people just need to feel heard by an un-judging ear, who can see them and understand, and remind them that they are not alone. That they deserve better. And take it one little baby step at a time. Tomorrow is really far away, but that stuffed animal is pretty close or that remote or paper or whatever. Like Dory says, "just keep swimming". Eventually, tomorrow will come, and you'll surprise yourself at how far you have come with all those seemingly insignificant baby steps.)
My therapist laughed at me while I was explaining myself and balling my eyes out
I had a therapist that told me I need better coping skills when my MIL triggered my trauma.
1) the therapist I had for most of elementary school only specialized in elementary school kids, so when I went to the middle school for 6th grade, I was given a new therapist. I thought she was nice at first. I saw her once a week and she listened to me. Then, about 6 weeks after school started, she said to me “you know, you’re doing pretty good now. I don’t see a reason why you should need to continue to need me. I’m going to talk tot he psychiatrist about dropping you from therapy.” Well, of course, that was when school started picking up and as she knew from the beginning, I was being bullied really badly. So, I had no support after she left because the school couldn’t care less about my struggles as long as I didn’t bring down the test scores or whatever. There was also the fact I was being abused at home that I never got to a point where I could tell her. So I was going from a school full of bullies to a house full of bullies every day. It really messed me up. And the psychiatrist was ZERO help. Less than zero help actually and I’ll get to HIM in a minute.
2) because of the bullying in 6th and 7th grade and how I reacted to it, I was sent to a specialized therapy program in 8th grade and that’s when my mom FINALLY realized that I needed more support to do decently in school (and life, but she didn’t care about that so long as I didn’t make her look as bad as she really was). So, we started looking for a new therapist. There was only one non-private mental health group at the time in my small area and thankfully they took our insurance. The first person only took patients that didn’t have insurance, so she referred us to someone else. I think that person saw me a couple times over the summer then she left- mental health workers in my area at that time were over worked, under paid, and had very few benefits, meanwhile the number of patients just kept growing, so the often moved on to a better area or left the mental health care industry entirely. And this woman was one of them. The third person… oh the third person was one I HATED! If I told her about an argument I had with someone, she would start yapping about “the seesaw effect” while flopping her hand around the emphasize her point (which was that arguments are pointless and don’t solve problems, like… did she expect to get a cookie for that?). And if I kept telling the story after she did that, she would point at a sigh on her wall that said something like “getting what you want won’t make you happy, it will just make you realize you never really wanted it in the first place” and read it off like it was Holy scripture, but never really explained it. I told my mom countless time how much I didn’t like her and wanted to at least ask my brain dead psychiatrist for a new therapist. She refused. Then one day, I was telling the therapist about how I felt after my mom wouldn’t let me see my great grandfather before he died. She got excited about “a breakthrough” and marched me OUT INTO THE WAITING ROOM where at least one other person and the receptionist was and had my mom and I talk in there. Mom got upset not because I brought up something hard for us to talk about, but because “you think you’re the only one his death hurt? He was your great grandfather but he was MY grandfather” and stormed out. The thing was, logically, I understood why she didn’t let me see him, but emotionally I was hurt by it because everyone else got to say goodbye and I didn’t. Well, the topic and my mom’s reaction made me start to cry and the therapist- this freaking IDIOT who obviously got her degree out of a cereal box at clown school-says to me “see? You got what you wanted and now you realized it wasn’t what you actually wanted. Well, that’s it for our session today, you’re old enough to sign yourself out. Bye.” And left. When I did and asked the receptionist about scheduling my next appointment she seemed very uncomfortable and told me to just have my mom call. That was when my mom finally dropped the wicked witch of the psychology office.
3) after the idiot psychologist, my psychiatrist had me start seeing a therapist in school and then that shifted to at home. Well, she and my mom became the best of friends. So much so that she would always tell me how the way I acted “affected” my mom who was “just worried” about me. I remember one time, she had my mom and I sit at the table to discuss something and it turned into an argument. Mom ended up going out on the porch and instead of helping me process everything like she should have, the therapist went out and COMFORTED MY MOTHER for the last 15 minutes of our session. Like, she came in, said good bye, and just dipped, leaving me with my abusive mom after an argument. Thankfully she just gave me the silent treatment. But she always made the things I did about my mother somehow. Like, I would talk about how my mom was treating me and she would tell me it was because of how I acted. Or I would tell her about something that happened in school and she would tell me how that would make my mother feel. Therapy was never about me figuring out how to deal with the world, it was about making my mom happy. And we didn’t pay her, the insurance did so there was no “maybe she was just worried she’d lose her pay if she didn’t side with your mom.” Most of the time, mom mom was in her bedroom during our sessions unless the therapist asked her to come out. And of course my narcissist mom wasn’t going to have the psychiatrist change her because she always sided with her.
4) now for the pathetic @$$hole who employed all these people! Dr. Rinehart or something like that, I know how to say it but now how to spell it. He had some assistant or something who was such pathetic and minor character, I don’t think he ever really talked outside of introducing himself so I have no clue what his name was. And he wasn’t studying under this @$$hole. As far back as I can remember with Rinehart, this dude was in every single meeting. I don’t even remember what he did, he was so small and insignificant. He was basically Rinehart’s “Yes Man.” Well, first it started when I told him my toy (m6 favorite Bakugan) “talked” to me like the ones in the show. He never got me tested for anything and I never told him I was actually giving him the voice (just that he didn’t say mean things to me) because I was so fed up with h8m I decided to troll him. I always was not in a very good mind set through that because, as was PAINFULLY obvious, my meds stopped working around the time middle school started and he refused to looking into changing them or uping the dosage! The first quarter of 6th grade, I barely got into trouble, but as my emotion and mental stability spiraled, the amount of times I was havin*the vice principal called on me increased until I was being sent to the office several times a month. And I was only in that school for 2 years (6th through 7th grade), so this a was rapid change. And he never looked into it. Never tried to help me. 8thgrade was a reprieve because the mental health program I was in at a different school had me seeing a different psychiatrist (who actually gave a f*ck) and I had 2 therapists watching me to report to him. 6th and 7th grade I had Sir Couldn’t Care Less and no therapist to monitor me in school. When I went back to my original school for high school, I was given a therapist again and kept on the meds the psychiatrist from the program had me on. I was also in the emotional support group program at my school (the Emo Support Group as I called it in my head lol). So I was great in school! It was home where I was having issues, so my therapist (mom’s new BFFL) started seeing name at home. After YEARS of my disaster area bedroom being a point of contention between me and my mom, one of these therapists FINALLY asked me why I liked my room like that. After thinking about it, I told her it just made me feel safe and I was so stressed when it was cleaned. The psychiatrist diagnosed me with a hoarding disorder. BUT! In the same meeting where I got that diagnosis, he told me I had to clean my room and keep it clean for the therapist to help me or he would have to let me go as a patient for not complying with my treatment… of course I told him I couldn’t do that and he said he couldn’t continue to treat me anymore and I was fired as a patient. If he had said “have [Therapist] help you clean your room and learn organizational skills that keep your room cleaned without causing you stress” and I refused, I could understand that. But that wasn’t it. He had JUST diagnosed me with a hoarding disorder and then wanted me to just suck it up and clean my room. And back then, he was the only psychiatrist my insurance paid for in the only mental health program in the county. Thankfully a new program opened up a few months later and they took our insurance. I loved the guy I saw after that! He had a plant he was neglecting to death and I always say next to it and pealed off the dead sport while he explained my medications and treatments to my mom. He was also the first one to suggest my issues with waking up in the morning could be due to sleep apnea and got me tested (it wasn’t, I was just REALLY not a morning person) and got me in with a therapist I liked.
I'm seeking a therapist as soon as a spot opens up, and i really hope they're ready for one hell of an interview, cuz I know what's wrong with me and they'd better be willing to help with it in a way that mt brain won't turn around into crap like this.
I was in hospital after a failed suicide, suffering from drug psychosis. A mental health nurse told me to get pregnant as having a baby to look after would fix me
I had something like this happen, but it wasn't what they said and more what they didn't say. My first therapist was this nice older lady and I really believe she was helping me( I was 13 at this time) but for some reason they changed my therapist, and it was this older man.(it was a mental health center and it was being paid for by my school so they probably changed it because he was cheaper) I was slow to trust him because I didn't know him and it was at one of these slow sessions were I started to open up only to look up...and this man is ASLEEP. I've never felt so dismissed and unimportant in my whole life.
She told me I wasn’t really sick, didn’t need therapy, and just all around abused me.
My situation is more what the person who took my info when I WANTED to get get mental health help did. At the time I was sort of in foster care (it was complicated bc the family was who my bio dad had been staying with, idk if it was actually official or not) and I had serious issues with the foster mother after a year or so, primarily the fact I was an undiagnosed autistic girl who would have shutdowns and would cry when being yelled at. She was an 'expert' about ADHD, yet missed that I definitely had rejection sensitive dysphoria. Well I was staying with my bio mom, because it was just easier and was kind of a trial thing, and I mentioned to her that I would sometimes be overwhelmed by an inner void that pulled all emotions from me, I would feel empty and numb for weeks at a time. In retrospect, these were shutdowns. My bio mom agreed to get me someone to talk to. We were in the waiting room, I had already given my name and why I was there, apparently the person who dealt with that thought something was wrong I guess. They called the foster mom, who showed up screaming and kicking about 'how dare I do this to her, it makes her look so bad' ignoring the fact that two dozen people saw her act like this. I didn't ask for help again until I was an adult, nearly killed myself because I had to go live with her again, legit wanted to be dead, and was never given someone to talk to.
There is a therapist that works with my father who clearly isnt cut out to be a therapist. When addicts come in and lie to her about needing medication she writes notes for them. Surprisingly she isnt nearly as kind to victims of domestic violence.
The adhd specialist reminds me of the ASD "specialist" I saw. He said I don't have autism because I "make eye contact and talk too much to be autistic"
It was a video call. I made no eye contact and barely talked the whole time.
A long time before HIPPAA, I was looking for a new therapist when mine had to stop for medical reasons. I saw one therapist who was attached to a teaching hospital and told her I wanted to be sure everything was confidential. She said if I was coming to that kind of hospital, I shouldn't expect any privacy at all.
"Honestly I just don't see a reason for you to be here".
Seven years later I'm a depressed mess with undiagnosed ASD, ADHD, agoraphobia and just. The BIG big sad. Thanks therapist, I'm cured.
(Jokes aside, I am making slow and steady progress every day. Every setback is just a turn in the path of life, and I'm determined to find every joy in every day. It does get better. Even when it feels like the steepest mountain climb in the world, just remember that at the top of that mountain is a path right back down to the next big thing to climb. One day you'll stand at the peak, look back, and realise how far you've come. That's your biggest mountain yet, you'll think, and still you made it. After a mountain like that, the hills won't feel like such a challenge any more. You'll come out of that experience stronger and more resilient than ever before, and you WILL make it through. I believe in you!)
Psychiatrist told me how I could make blunt blades sharp when I was telling him I was upset because I didn’t have any sharp ones left. I was 14 and was SHing which he knew… and rather than work though how to avoid the SH he was happy to tell me how I could go do it and make it worse. What he told me would of increased germs and risk of infection too
I never had therapy experiences NEARLY as bad as these, but here's my story either way:
I was in middle school, I don't remember exactly which grade. I felt extremely scared to go to school, I'd do anything to get out of it. I dreaded each and every single day I went. My parents noticed this, and recommended I talk to my school's counselor. So, I did. She said to me, "Oh you're just a little stressed" and sent me on my way. Thanks, man, really helped.
So, this one therapist I talked to for an intake essentially tried to convince me that I was:
- "not man enough" because I am not a dominant person. (I struggle with setting boundaries and standing up for myself due to past traumas, I barely dared to speak when I was younger, let alone tell someone 'no'. I told him about this before he judged my "manhood")
- Using/abusing drugs and alcohol (I've never taken drugs in my life and rarely drink any alcoholic drinks. On the handfull of occasions that I do, I usually keep it at one drink, maybe a couple if I'm at a longer party, but I tend to get panic attacks if I drink, so I don't like to.)
- Too shy to be taken seriously. (I wouldn't call myself shy nowadays. I used to be, and I do struggle with social anxiety and am an introvert, but I am quite social and am usually the one in my friend groups who dares to speak up if someone needs something.)
Throughout the conversation, he was pretty unprofessional. He would keep telling me how I was supposed to feel instead of asking me / giving me a chance to tell him first. And if I corrected him, he seemed to get upset.
I had filled in a pretty extensive list of tests for him, had my own therapist send him a report on my current mental state, issues, and important moments in my life to help him prepare our session. He read them for the first time the last 10 minutes of our conversation (the emails with the files that were sent through to him were unread when he opened them on his computer).
I know follow-up questions are an important tool in interviewing, but this man took it to another level. While we were discussing my drinking habits and usage of drugs, he asked me about every hobby I had and if people were dealing there, every place I visited and if I ever had been overed pills/weed there, then if I said no, he would ask if I was sure and then ask me again a few minutes later. I understand he wanted to make sure, but I walked out of that conversation, feeling like he just thought of me like a burden and a lair.
After our conversation, he was supposed to call me back to check up on me. This conversation came a month after it was supposed to and lasted about 3 minutes. He just did not seem to care.
Holy shit, what a nightmare. This guy's an asshole, I'm sorry you had to go though all that :(
I took my daughter to one of those all day school therapy type places. It looked amazing, they would pick her up and drop her off every day, meals included, the whole shebang. Then they said the insurance wasn't covered. it was too expensive to pay out of pocket. They laughed at us and said. " Maybe you can come back if you win the Lottery". I thought that was pretty down right rude...we just packed up and left...
My therapist loves to imply I'm "dumb" because I didn't do the "easy" (generally difficult more confrontational) option in a situation that deeply upset me. it happens Every Time we speak and I bring up an issue
Yeah, someone needs their license challenged. Maybe try new professional 😢
At 5 I was having trouble paying attention in class, a public school therapist & administrator diagnosed me with autism and explained this to my mom, ending their meeting with “I can’t wait to meet your son!” The entire diagnosis was built on teacher’s comments.
Needless to say, this absolutely infuriated my mom. A year later at a private school, someone sat down to review the diagnosis, actually supervised me in class for awhile, and dismissed it. They had a much simpler explanation: “your son is just an absent-minded little professor sometimes.”
As a CMHC grad student.. my jaw is on the floor.
Okay about story 6(?) with the counselor who was also the pastor’s wife. Not only did the “counselor” break confidentiality but that’s also very clearly a dual relationship?? Like literally everything about that situation is unethical. How much do we wanna bet she also didn’t have any sort of licensure or certification?
i have 2 of these:
1) i was being transferred to another therapist because she was moving on from the office and this was our last session. i have a snake phobia we had been discussing, and was telling her about my panic response to actually seeing a snake in my yard (which lingered all day to some degree) and, knowing full well that i also have issues with being dismissed because i have subtle or atypical reactions... proceeded to dismiss my phobia as trivial. i was so stunned i couldn't say anything about it until it was too late.
tl:dr my therapist, on the very last session I'd be seeing her, dismissed my phobia as trivial because i didn't react exactly like she thought i was supposed to, knowing full well that i often don't act like people think i should
2) i had just been transferred to a new therapist (not the 1 after previous story) and she was... extremely green. as in, i was her 1st patient, she was so new. in the 1st session, when she goes over my history, i mention that I'm autistic and give her the usual spiel of my medical conditions.
roll around to appointment #2: she got a new office and this 1 has both a bean bag chair and the usual uncomfortable chair. being an avid supporter of fun and a massive hater of those chairs, i obviously picked the bean bag chair the instant i saw it. for some reason, this greatly upset her and she insisted i sit in the other chair. when i questioned her on why i should care about moving, she replied with "this is therapy. in therapy, we learn how to be adults and the 1st step is to sit in the adult chair."
now, keep in mind that the reason i was there had jack all to do with that and I'm not at all interested in pretending to be allistic (not autistic) or conforming to nonsensical rules just because someone says so. you can be an adult and act like an adult without cutting joy out of your life, especially if you have a reason like a medical condition (which i had also mentioned in that 1st appointment) that makes 1 option significantly worse
so i was seething that entire appointment and dropped her like a hot potato. i honestly should have walked out right then, but i didn't. the rest of the appointment consisted of her asking me questions, me answering them as well as i could even though i was clearly angry and insulted, then her hounding me to answer the question after I'd already done so several times. refused to go back after that, even for the discharge appointment.
tl:dr she infantalized me and tried to force me to do something that was medically worse for me, when it had nothing to do with why i was there.
I was hospitalized due to suicidal thoughts. So the first time I was there I ended up having to report the social worker I had originally. She was arguing with another patient and ended up saying "Well maybe you shouldn't have tried to kill yourself." I was kind of shocked because I'm not a social worker but I know that is not something you are supposed to say especially to someone who is in crisis.
My second time I was there I was hospitalized for the same reason, except it was more with it. I was severely manic, and very impulsive. Over time before the manic episode went down, it mixed in with rage. I became super duper angry, and when I have those rage episodes I can get pretty aggressive and I can barely control my anger. That same social worker I had reported during my first admission ended up being my primary social worker. I was really annoyed. At first I was a little optimistic, but towards the end she was horrible. I had decided to ask her to stay another weekend because I felt like I was going to hurt myself when I came home. The plan was to discharge that Friday but I had my reservations about it. She asked me why. I explained to her that I really only thought about leaving in and out, and never thought about what got me in there in the first place, and I wanted to process that in an environment where I know I'm gonna be safe. She asked me "Process what? You are being vague about it." So I explained it to her. Not one time, but *FIVE TIMES*. I was like are you kidding me? So then after the 5th time of explaining it, she said "But you had 9 days to think about it!" and she looked at me in the most genuine way, like she said the dumbest thing with the most sincere face. I walked out and cursed obscenities. She also asked me why I wanted to kill myself and I explained to her but she said "That's still not a reason to kill yourself." For context, I said I wanted to kill myself because I thought of suicide everyday and you get tired of thinking about it. It makes you miserable. I'm glad i don't have to see her again :/
I was in therapy for bad workplace bullying. Therapist said to me: there's sheep and there's wolves (victims and bullies in my case). If you don't wanna be a sheep, you have to become a wolf.
I've had a couple therapist and shared my thoughts about how I was severely depressed and one of them even diagnosed me with severe depression. The depression made me unable to do a lot because I'd feel too down to be motivated. Every therapist I had would say "let's try and focus on getting your grades up" like yeah I'm questioning living so let's get some A's on some papers
Oh, the first one is common, the first time I told a psychologist that I was suicidal she dismissed me from the service and told me to take a new appointment if I felt suicidal again in the next two weeks. It took months to even get that first appointment
I wanted to unalive myself. (Was eventually diagnosed with severe depression) my first psychiatrist looked me in the eye and said “if you really wanted to unalive yourself so badly you would of already done it so your fine”
I had a therapist that I trusted try to convince me that a traumatic experience was in my head, because he didn't believe me.
These stories are WHY im afraid to talk about my DID and TRY to get an actual DX. Also the last counselor i went to was a trumpie, found out by the socks he wore and immediately felt disgusted that i actually shared my personal trauma with him, never went back to the same counselor. I got a new better one, but im still afraid.
my therapist has said a lot of questionable things, but the one that’s stuck with me the most is when i told him that i, as the child, was done feeling responsible for fixing my dad’s shitty behavior, especially since my multiple attempts to communicate with him haven’t just failed, they’ve only made my relationship with him worse. and this mf responded “are you sure about that?” he said some other stuff in different sessions that just made him feel like an apologist for my dad instead of my therapist. i’m meeting with someone else soon, but ngl, this dude has kind of made me scared to try therapy again.
Had a psychiatrist tell me that my depression and anxiety problem from my abuse at the hands of nuns and the deaths of my dad and grandparents from cancer was because I was a heathen witch which was going to hell and will feel better taking God into my life and go back to church. Hello I was ABUSED by NUNS, beaten by them for questioning the inaccurate passages in the Bible. Got me a new one. On some good meds now and I’m happy.
Now I'm unsure about seeing a therapist.
When I was around 10, my parents took me to see a psychiatrist over my "panic attacks". She promised everything is strictly confidential so I opened up about my family and home life Turns out, it wasn't at all confidential and she repeated everything to my parents word for word and I was completely chewed up all the way back home and for the next couple weeks after that ☠️
Not to me but to my mom with me in the room "I think you should put your child in a home if she won't stop screaming" I was diagnosed autistic and my mom cussed her out and walked out with me and never went back.
A walk-in clinic worker, when I was trying to explain how overwhelmed I felt, struggling to manage, and not doing a good job of expressing myself: “have you ever thought of being blonde?” Seriously????😡
In the UK most crisis workers will just read from a script with the top response to someone in crisis being “why don’t you have a cup of tea?”…. “Have you tried a nice relaxing bath?” Or finally “ if you feel an immediate danger go to a&e” ( the final one being where one of them keeps you waiting in the waiting room for hours and then waiting hours for one of them to come over from the office to repeat that same script to you again. So helpful)
Oh and being told that I had BPD because they didn’t have time to do a full diagnostic testing and because I SH that’s a symptom of BPD…. I have depression, psychosis and CPTSD (took me nearly 13 years to get that sorted out after BPD people are considered manipulative and they dismissed me as being manipulative to want to be properly diagnosed.
man... that therapist really didn't care about suicide?
7 is real, same EXACT thing would happen at my Special Ed school when I was younger.
My now EX-husband and I went to couples therapy, and he was asking about how many kids we had. When we told him neither one of us wanted to start a family, it was the one thing we both agreed on. He said that was our problem. If you have kids they tend to fix a marriage. .... ... .... Wha? We moved on to another therapist.