I'm waiting for the after effects of my first meal to hurry up and fade off so that I can become fully awake and alert again for the next several hours, after a seizure like situation that seems to just be unavoidable anytime I'm having whatever it is for essentially breakfast whenever that may occur. I know the event will not happen after lunch or supper. It only happens sometime in the middle of my getting dressed and preparing to set out getting lots of other things done, sometime after I've already slept and gotten up with the best energy of the day, and ingested something no matter how inconsequential that should be. I've tried to question myself whether this might be an insulin reaction just not quite behaving like those occasionally would in the past, but it's not the same. These are different electric like tingling sensations in weirder more peripheral locations and my face. I then become uncontrollably sleepy, in a way that doesn't happen to me any other time I'm exhausted unless maybe I'm in the hard part of a flu. (but that flu like uncontrollable sleep doesn't include the electrical sensations). However I know by now, I better sit down and brace myself not to fall, and really should go ahead and make sure I'm horizontal asap where I cannot fall off face first or head first onto the hard floor or some furniture crevice and maybe it's better to be on my side to not choke on my own drooling,,with feet up or even with my body not impeding circulation. There seems to be another phase after I wake up where I have to wait a little bit before I stop feeling a few random transient electrical twinge like shooting currents. If I didn't fight hard against the loss of consciousness then I will feel like I must've been out for hours, but when I'm hyper alert again, I find it was usually only thirty minutes. If I fought it hard it will have been three or four hours I was out again, just shortly after I had already slept and was usually half fully dressed, and had been checking my backpack and other mobility gear for going out the door with last minute stuff before leaving. This interference can mess up my bus connections and timing for appointments, guts, everything. I usually have to sponge bathe part of my hair and face again, and might forget one serious thing needed for the main task discovering half a mile to the bus stop. This is why if I have a scheduled appointment during daytime business hours particularly if it is jury duty, I have to be up at midnight starting to get showered and dressed and trying to have something to eat and packing lunch and dinner into my giant box mounted to my mobility gear with my other giant box of files, and everything that would be in my car if I still drove, to contend with the chronic rest of my impairments/illness/disordered movement. I have to be prepared to be stranded, perhaps outside, maybe all evening into the next morning before another bus happens if I miss the last connector bus home. I have to be self contained for dealing with that. That could still happen with ten phone numbers I could try, and it wouldn't be any failing on the part of those people. Simply not, in the cards for me at that time. I did acquire a lot of this other dealing with things as I go skill, before the parkinsonian symptoms became so overwhelming, from dealing with other situations I couldn't control but I have to say I feel like this is quite a bit harder sometimes to explain, to people who just can't really understand it much besides the tremor parts, which only sometimes happens with me and I find the rest of the inexplicable stuff hardest. Still working on vacating the psychological peanut gallery of the people riding along in my head furious and disappointed that there's one more thing I cannot physiologically control at will, that makes me unreliable to them. As though all the ways I am reliable don't count. I know I shouldn't be bothered by this, and it's our world to and we are still in it, still doing things that we like too. I don't like missing things fun, but don't think I should be punished for it on top of not being able to do it just because I cannot always make it. This is a day in my life lately not to mention what corporate management of private equity housing has taken for the hours left of it since 2010, making everything simple about living a hundred times more difficult than it needs to be so often. That's a whole Logan's run story. 😊
I'm waiting for the after effects of my first meal to hurry up and fade off so that I can become fully awake and alert again for the next several hours, after a seizure like situation that seems to just be unavoidable anytime I'm having whatever it is for essentially breakfast whenever that may occur.
I know the event will not happen after lunch or supper. It only happens sometime in the middle of my getting dressed and preparing to set out getting lots of other things done, sometime after I've already slept and gotten up with the best energy of the day, and ingested something no matter how inconsequential that should be. I've tried to question myself whether this might be an insulin reaction just not quite behaving like those occasionally would in the past, but it's not the same.
These are different electric like tingling sensations in weirder more peripheral locations and my face. I then become uncontrollably sleepy, in a way that doesn't happen to me any other time I'm exhausted unless maybe I'm in the hard part of a flu. (but that flu like uncontrollable sleep doesn't include the electrical sensations). However I know by now, I better sit down and brace myself not to fall, and really should go ahead and make sure I'm horizontal asap where I cannot fall off face first or head first onto the hard floor or some furniture crevice and maybe it's better to be on my side to not choke on my own drooling,,with feet up or even with my body not impeding circulation.
There seems to be another phase after I wake up where I have to wait a little bit before I stop feeling a few random transient electrical twinge like shooting currents. If I didn't fight hard against the loss of consciousness then I will feel like I must've been out for hours, but when I'm hyper alert again, I find it was usually only thirty minutes. If I fought it hard it will have been three or four hours I was out again, just shortly after I had already slept and was usually half fully dressed, and had been checking my backpack and other mobility gear for going out the door with last minute stuff before leaving.
This interference can mess up my bus connections and timing for appointments, guts, everything. I usually have to sponge bathe part of my hair and face again, and might forget one serious thing needed for the main task discovering half a mile to the bus stop. This is why if I have a scheduled appointment during daytime business hours particularly if it is jury duty, I have to be up at midnight starting to get showered and dressed and trying to have something to eat and packing lunch and dinner into my giant box mounted to my mobility gear with my other giant box of files, and everything that would be in my car if I still drove, to contend with the chronic rest of my impairments/illness/disordered movement. I have to be prepared to be stranded, perhaps outside, maybe all evening into the next morning before another bus happens if I miss the last connector bus home. I have to be self contained for dealing with that. That could still happen with ten phone numbers I could try, and it wouldn't be any failing on the part of those people. Simply not, in the cards for me at that time.
I did acquire a lot of this other dealing with things as I go skill, before the parkinsonian symptoms became so overwhelming, from dealing with other situations I couldn't control but I have to say I feel like this is quite a bit harder sometimes to explain, to people who just can't really understand it much besides the tremor parts, which only sometimes happens with me and I find the rest of the inexplicable stuff hardest.
Still working on vacating the psychological peanut gallery of the people riding along in my head furious and disappointed that there's one more thing I cannot physiologically control at will, that makes me unreliable to them. As though all the ways I am reliable don't count.
I know I shouldn't be bothered by this, and it's our world to and we are still in it, still doing things that we like too. I don't like missing things fun, but don't think I should be punished for it on top of not being able to do it just because I cannot always make it.
This is a day in my life lately not to mention what corporate management of private equity housing has taken for the hours left of it since 2010, making everything simple about living a hundred times more difficult than it needs to be so often. That's a whole Logan's run story. 😊
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