Making friends in college is harder than I thought
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- Опубликовано: 15 май 2024
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Things didn't exactly click for me when I got to school...
A few years ago when I was living in France, I had experiences that fundamentally shaped my relationship with loneliness. Every day, I was surrounded by kids my age in school, but I had never felt more alone in my life. I was confused, why did being around other people make me feel lonelier than when I was by myself? I've always carried a hint of that feeling with me throughout my life and while growing up, but living in France was the peak of it for me. It forced me to get along with myself and to find enjoyment in being alone. But in the back of my mind, I knew or at least hoped it would be a temporary thing before I went back home to find my "true" friends.
Fast forward to college and similar feelings arose. I was around a lot of nice people, but the deep connection wasn't there. I was craving the moments when you meet someone and immediately know you're going to get along? Or, when you find a group where you all share this unspoken understanding of each other? As the weeks went on, I couldn't find it. This is a glimpse into that struggle of trying to find my place at school.
(Fun fact: This video was originally supposed to be a recap of my first semester, not a video about the struggle of making friends. But it accidentally evolved into that... The ideas in my mind around this topic weren't fully expressed or displayed within this video but It felt very much like an introduction to a larger conversation that I want to have, which is fine for now)
Hope you enjoy,
Much love,
Max
The best people come from shared interests. Just do the things that you like/love to do, and interested people will find you. That's how it always is. Stop worrying and just enjoy yourself. Love from Italia.
I hvent made a single friendin college, ill be your friend man
nice vid btw which college u go to
Posted my own comment but you're not alone. I'm in a similar position. It sucks but it's also freeing in a way.
Your severely underrated
It’s comforting that even someone I look up to and imagine doesn’t struggle at all is going through the same things I’m worried about as I enter college.
I'm glad. I aim to humanize myself as much as possible because I too used to watch other creators and idealized their lives. I struggle often, make mistakes, and am not perfect by means! College is hard, but you aren't alone. Shoot me a message if you ever need anything! (:
@@MaxReisinger I appreciate that greatly :)
yo it’s gonna be great let’s make the most of it and wish for the best
I'm entering college next year but I don't know if I'm prepared for it. If you don't mind me asking, how are you doing now?
@@rT1WdisPtX Really good! I wouldn't stress right now about whether or not you think you are ready right now. We tend to overdramatize what our situation might be like because we like to assume the worst, but once you go to college you realize that truly everyone is in the same boat and you will be alright. I'm sure you will do amazing if you stay strong, don't get discouraged at the little things, and put yourself out there. I will say going out of state made me feel a little more alone than going instate but that's ok! In due time everything will work it self out. Do not be afraid of going out of your comfort zone...because how else would you grow as a person! Good luck :)
As someone who's 25 and on the verge of graduating my final master's degree, I truly, genuinely want to press you on your heart that you ARE doing everything right, Max. When I just went to uni at age 19 I was in the exact same place as you (I only had my boyfriend who lived far away and no close friends at all), but in hindsight, I can guarantee you that such a huge majority of first year's feel the exact same as you do! Going to uni comes with so much pressure to live out your "golden years", but fact really is that the more pressure you put on it, the less likely it is to happen. The trick is to just live your life and keep doing what you're doing. Very few people meet their lifetime friends in their first year of uni. For me, I've "collected" a lot of friends simply through random interactions, situations, hobbies, trips, and so on - most having nothing to do with my being at uni at all. Right now I'm at a place where I'm surrounded by such an amazing group of 7 close friends who I feel comfortable to call or knock on their door without notice any time any day, knowing they'll always be up for whatever (and vice versa). 19 year old me could've never in her life imagined this to happen.
You're a fantastic guy with a lot of creativity and trust me when I say people are naturally drawn to that. Trust the process, and most of all yourself :)
This comment absolutely needs to be read by everyone. To be honest I think that the idea of having a friend group where you all hang out and do stuff together is a high school concept born from a deep desire to fit in with those you have to be around. And absolutely no judgement there we all need relationships to survive. I think if you stop putting pressure on yourself to have this amazing friend group you’ll realize you already have some amazing people in your life and building and strengthening those connections to be more deep and what you are looking for might be a good next step.
This is so weird because I'm 19 right now and will start college in a few months and am in the EXACT same situation as you,, I've spent the majority of my last 3 years studying in my room all alone without any friends or hangouts so the concept of going to college and living among people is really so overwhelming to me. Also the fact that 19 is considered a bit old to be a freshman in my country and that I'll be 25 by the time i graduate also is keeping me on my toes. I've bee very out of the "normal" teenage life so I'm pretty scared of what it will be like in college but I'll still be keeping my spirits up and hope that it all works out in the end:)
hello! could i ask what you’re getting your masters in? i’m deciding if i should do the same in biomed but scared to commit to 4 years let alone 6
Hey to have that group of 7 friends, do you guys all meet at one place at once or do each member gradually joined?
👏🏼 thank you sir. From a 22 year old struggling with relationships and friendships.
7:31 damn yes, exactly how i feel. I’m 19, don’t have friends and i’m in my 1st year of uni. I never really had big friendgroups. When I graduated high school last year I expected a change, I expected to make friends, have fun. But i never did, and when I realized that i went in a downwards spiral. My mental health is only getting better now, when I realized i need to like myself first. But deep down i still crave having friends, being loved, and just not feeling lonely.
I’m in the exact same situation. I’m 18 and I just finished my 1st year of uni. I have no friends but mostly just acquaintances, people who I can have small talk to or see at an event and wave. I eat my meals alone and spend weekends inside.
I'm 19 entering my junior year and I still have no friends. Tbh it feels kinda lonely when everyone is out having fun and I'm in my room by myself. I'm transferring to a new school so hopefully I can get out of my comfort zone and meet new people.
same! I'm 19 and have had zero friends (literally no one) since about 15. I'm used to being alone now, I sometimes crave friendships and wanting to make memories but I know I won't change lol so I've gotten used to it. I'm planning to move away to a bigger town/city in 2024, hoping to gain confidence and start to live life a bit more, even when I'm expecting to do it completely alone.
I’m 18 rn and I agree it’s much harder to find like minded people in college than in high school . All my friends I have rn are just former highschool friends, I haven’t made any new ones in college.
Im 18, a highschool Junior (I was gonna graduate this year but I recently moved to the states about a month back). Ive always struggled to make friends to rely on, in my last 6 months before I moved I finally found the friends ive always wanted but its a new start. One month in high school, Havent gotten friends yet, just acquaintances. All my life ever since I was a kid, I thought college would be the place I would feel like I belong, but these comments are so shattering my dreams😭 Im honestly so scared. Having an awesome college life is all ive ever wanted
You are right about that friend group. I've been looking for that casual friend group my whole life. The one where you are kind of together all the time and meetings don't feel super organized but rather we are going to hang out and do things whenever, whether that is for 5 minutes or 5 hours.
im in my sophomore year of high school and i finally made my way into one of these and i've been happier than ever before in my entire life. i would rather die than never see these people again. i dont want it to end.
@@hippo440 I'm so happy for you! I hope to find smth similar one day.
@@hippo440😊
We’re on the same page, that’s something ive been dreaming of ever since I was 12 (im 18 now). Right now its almost as if it’s everything I want in life currently
I love Before Sunrise but its a sad film to watch when you're desperate for new and deep connections because it emphasizes how hard it is to find like-minded people. Plus the conversations Jesse and Celine have are so beautiful and fulfilling that your own connections might always feel like they are lacking something.
I had never heard of this movie before this but when I was watching this video I thought to myself "This looks and sounds and feels like a Linklater movie" And wow, I was correct.
@@lestry7878 Not everyone is religious.?! Souls,None is called to become religious, cause all are called to back into reality, through repentance and new birth.
That`s good news. And nor am i religious, nor was i ever religious. And nor do i follow or believe in a religion.
All religions are masons made up stories, just to keep mankind confused and busy believing all kinds of nonsenses, the most is known, that into heaven goes many ways, That is masons lie. Masons build up many ways into heaven, which are all known as religions. Search about them, for they are your enemies, they steal - destroy - kill.
Masons = children of devil.
John 8:44
Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
Only through the ONLY BEGOTTEN SON OF GOD, CHRIST - can we go into heaven.
John 14:6
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
But there is few buts:
Matthew 7:21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
That verse sifts out the lukewarm christians, who proudly scream out and letting others know they believe, yet they do not do so in their hearts.
Christians = saved souls, who go and sins no more and until their deaths or the returning of CHRIST, are all doing daily the will of GOD:
KEEP
PREACH
WATCH
EXPOSE
+ being daily in a battle agents his own flesh.
For every Christian must walk after the SPIRIT and not after the flesh:
Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:4 That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
For no Christian are called to just believe but to be also a doer of THE WORD :James 1:23 For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass:
These are the 2 buts.
Again i say, it is good news that you, dear soul, are not religious.
And if we`d be to take a Christianity as a religion, then no soul be saved for real and Christ either died in vain or not at all -- that is a lie, stating that Christianity is a religion and not a reality is a lie.
For it is a fact that no religion saves.
Christianity do saves, for no soul becomes a Christian, until he have gotten saved, called upon the name of the lord, which proofed the needed faith to be there.
interesting- i get what you mean about the expectation being high but i feel like i had the opposite experience. i first watched it in the middle of quarantine at what was maybe the loneliest time of my life and i thought "i may not know people like this now but at least i know that this is the type of person i am and there are other people like that out there even if i haven't found them yet" - such SUCH a great movie tho
I’m graduating college in 2 weeks and I didn’t make any friends until my senior year. I was too shy and even though I was nice to everyone I didn’t make any friends. College is a strange place and everyone is moving at their own pace. In the end it’ll be alright you’ll always find your people
from your lips to god's ears
Does socialising make everything better in college? Or is it that even if you try you may not get friends?
You'll make a lot of friends, Max. You are the sweetest person ever, I can't imagine no one wants to get to know you.
I don't have any friends either. so i force myself to try to enjoy my own company as much as i can. @jomir
@@NRFP I like my own company, but sometimes I need socializing because I drive myself crazy. I would like to have more friends who share many of the same interests
@@JomirBrands Same
I want friends. Alone time sucks
The fact that you guys live in dorms surrounded by potential friends, and still struggle, it’s soothing for my anxiety lol imagine if it’s hard for you, how hard it is for people like me who commute to college every day (everyone does because we live in a big city, there aren’t dorms or student accommodation)
Listen Max, I was in the same position you are in as a college freshman. Now as a senior in college I reflect back on my experience and realize that the social aspect of the experience comes with time. I'm glad to see that you don't want to conform to communities in which you don't connect with. Just realize that we are young people still discovering ourselves, take a deep breath and just learn to stop being so self-critical. I know I make it sound easy, but within the next few years of your life I'm sure you will truly find peace with yourself and connect with people who mean the world to you. Keep creating!
This is god-tier advice! Thanks!
Great advice dude! Im a senior as well and could not agree more
I've never felt more understood than in your videos. It provides a sense of comfort to know that I'm not the only person that struggles a bit to find my group of friends and create that bond. Throughout high school, I've realized that I tend to feel things deeper than most of the people I'm surrounded by; I haven't met many people that want to find that group of people that they want to experience the very coming-of-age movie-like things with without trying. The effortless experience is what I crave in a long-term friendship, along with being able to comfort each other in the biggest challenges of entering adulthood, but also not letting our inner child die or get lost in all that is adulthood. I appreciate how vulnerable you are when documenting your next chapter it means a lot for those like me who felt alone and stuck on the same page.
I really appreciate your comment. Articulated most of my thoughts, and I believe many others. It really is shocking how easily one can fall into an extremely isolated world in the most “connected” age in time.
Its nice to be reminded I’m not alone.
You literally just summed up my ideal friend group experience
you described it the best!!
@@bellabarrera166 exactly!
Fr, every “friendship” feels shallow and superficial, and some transactional
I am a student in my 40's. College is a different experience for everyone. Ask yourself why you are attending. Also you may not understand this now, but being a thinker, being studious, being smart - sometimes is not a social win, but its a life win. This is much more important in the long run - even if it doesn't seem like it now. Stay true to yourself max, and don't lament. Enjoy your experience, but know whether you "click" with other students is not a measure of you as a person. You are not the same as "them" , and neither is your path.
this video is really comforting to me, I'm going to collage this fall and I'm scared of the uncertain future. but I know that not being able to make friends is something okay, and this is just life, we just have to giddy up and go with the flow
Which college
@@senijeremiah why?
@@daielesign persons just wondering you don’t gotta tell them if you don’t want to
@@omotayosatuyi252 yeah, i'm just curious as why so that's why i asked 🤣
stream twice
I'm finishing my first year and I felt this with my whole body. I was crying 2 minutes in, especially when you were watching Before Sunrise, because that movie is pure comfort for lonely people. This video made me feel seen.
Which course are u compeleting....
I felt the same way at the beginning of my second semester of college. I had stopped talking to a friend that didn't align with my values, and so that left me with almost no one in college. Although, I started asking to hangout more with people I only saw once in a while. I also started making my schedule a lot busier so I had not time to think about how I should hangout with friends more often. I am now more focused on working out, learning a new language, making music, and getting my schoolwork done that I am a week ahead in some of my classes. I am now more focused on growing and becoming a better person everyday, and suddenly that feeling of loneliness and sadness went away. Maybe try and make your schedule busier and include things you are very passionate about because it could potentially help you with the way you're feeling. It helped me, so I feel like it could be worth a try. Good luck to you max! Thank you for bringing your audience such real and good content!
Making friends is hard but it's so worth it on the other side - here's to much love and friendship
Yes right
I love the fact that every single video you post literally makes me feel like I’m not crazy about my thoughts on college,makes me realise that there are other people that also go to college and have the same experience
So thank you for that
Just a little preface here, this shit hit so close to home that so few people talk about it that I genuinely felt like writing a small essay.
Hey there brother, I'm a sophomore in college right now and the year just ended so I'll be a junior soon enough, this video struck so close to home that I genuinely felt as though a sizeable portion of this video had been a reflection so far of my time at college.
I used to have friends at the beginning of college but over time lost them through focusing on different things and changes in the group dynamic which has led me to distance myself from them. This sense of loneliness has only been aggravated by now becoming a commuter student at my college since juniors and seniors get kicked out of the dorms since housing is very limited. This loneliness though has kind of always been present if I’m being candid, from middle school through high school to now halfway through college, while I’m friendly with most people I meet I rarely have a deep connection with anyone and for the one friend I do have he is at a different campus of my college. I also have a bit of a difference in the way that I interact with the world since I don't use social media at all meaning that the only way I really communicate with people is through phone numbers and physically. I had hoped that college would change my social life since there would be a lot of people around my age in a close proximity to me but nothing really changed since a lot of the people my age aren't really focused on the same things I am and are focused more on having a good time which puts me off. My self-improvement journey has helped me grow as an individual and focus on my goals and well-being which has also led me to realize that I need more friends but that also since I have been lonely for so long that I have learned to live in peace by myself and while a good thing to have I do fear that I’ll end up a hermit.
Looking back on high school I see more of the same while being in college, I try to be involved In clubs but honestly, there are few that interest me and the one that I was working on founding was taken away from me. While I try to make the best of my situation it feels as though I can’t escape this feeling that I’ll end up friendless, wifeless, kidless, and I’ll have regretted not spending more time making friends and developing social and emotional relationships.
It's crazy to me that at nearly 20 (less than a month away) I have not even kissed a girl yet let alone have a gf, when I was younger I used to cry and become upset at the fact that I had gone for months without a hug but now I just accept it as the norm. My dream is to wake up one day in bed with my wife next to me and my two kids nestled in between us but as more time passes it seems that the further and further i get from achieving it and the more unrealistic it becomes.
Based on my future plans for a career I’ll be in for 2 more years of college, 2 years of master's work, and 10 years of work for the government. Don't get me wrong since the career that I want is something that I’m really passionate about and will provide me with a lot of life experience but I feel as though I’m missing out on emotional & social development.
I hope you know that your loneliness and fear of not having friends is one shared by many young men and I fear it as well but don't sacrifice your goals and dreams to simply add menial relationships to your life. Instead, reflect on how to take steps towards adding more healthy and fulfilling relationships to your life while continuously progressing towards goals.
I hope you found value in this and some peace knowing that you aren't alone out there, for those who are struggling or simply want to talk I’d be more than happy to reach out and offer some advice and guidance if you believe you would find some semblance of value from it.
You’re on my list of favorite RUclipsrs. You don’t make clickbait content. You make your videos about life and the real world. And you overall, are an amazing person. I pray that you will hit 1 million subs real soon.
I never really liked my classmates from elementary and high school, but fortunately I will never see them again.
This is so comforting to me. Seeing this as someone who struggles to make friends definitely lifts a weight off my shoulders. To be able to see people relate to the same things I have difficulties with makes me feel less lonely. You are an amazing person, Max. I’m sure you will make friends. ❤
I have never felt the feelings of this person just through the cinematography in such a vivid manner. I feel like even if this guy didn't say a word, I would still be captivated and understand the raw emotions he feels and feel the struggle that he is going through. My man you got talent!
I think the movie projector is a great idea, I think if you were to post flyers and kept setting it up eventually more people would show up. I mean I'd definitely be up for it at my school. 🙃🎥🍿
Part of me wants to say that you've experienced European culture, which is so so so much different to what you're experiencing now, but I also think you're just not made for higher education. I felt the same. I spent so long thinking university would be life-changeing, but it ended up being a repetition of highschool. Maybe it's us, maybe it others, who knows - the important thing is to enjoy what you can from what you're experiencing and forge the friendships that you're forming either way.
@redlevantinist8947 I'm not saying it's more social, and truthfully I think "social" is a very subjective term that can't really be blamed on something specific. I'm saying European culture overall is very different to American culture, and that might be something to factor in for how he's feeling 🤷♀️ The university systems in the US and in Europe are objectively very different 💃
The plan of inviting everyone to play cricket was awesome. And , seeing so many people agreeing to play (even though some people dont know much about this game) was quiet fascinating too. Great video man.
This was the most comforting thing for me to see today. I've been trying really hard to make friends and it helps to know I'm not alone. Thank you because this meant so much.
And that is why I keep watching his videos. I remember it all, how my life goes. College, Dreams, Moments and Everything... It's funny how I thought before, now I'm in it😌
I always bounced around groups growing up and none of them ever really stuck. It wasn’t until I got to college where I’ve found the friends I stick around and have shared the best memories with. I have great faith you’ll find your group and get out of that lonely space ❤
i absolutely love your content. it was so comforting to see someone who's also gone through this
I just watched Before Sunrise a few days ago… in my college dorm room as a freshman. Feeling poetic and yearning for more but also grateful for what has been. I too am struggling to find ‘’my people” and form those deeper connection. I yearn to make great things and find people that have these visions too… but it’s hard, you know? Thank you for sharing your art with us. It makes us feel less alone.
I happened to stumble upon your video while I was in a dark place, when I tell you I relate to you, I relate to you on a different level. About the friend group thing. Growing up, it only ever felt like I knew my classmates and they were sort of friends, but I never found my group, you know, the life long friendships. I hope I find my group. Thank you for this video.
Max I feel you with the friends apart. Like I didn’t have friends who felt home to me until I started making friends online because of fandoms. I’ve met amazing people who have the same interests as me, and I created a lifetime friendship with them. They deeply mean the world to me and I hope I met them in person one day.
As a senior who's going to college this fall this video has really helped me get more comfortable with my transition to college. So, thanks Max.
Im grateful to have come across your video. Its something I relate to, and the crippling feeling loneliness in college and the thought of not yet finding "my people" is something I struggle with. You see all these people on tv shows and movies (I recently watched guardians of the galaxy vol. 3 and I loved the friendship between the characters) where they're in incredible friend groups, and it just hits you that you don't have one, yet, hopefully. Its a relief to see that I'm not the only one struggling regarding this.
Keep going Max! I know that feeling, but through persistance and just existing you'll find more people like you. You're in my prayers!
Is this my favourite on yt so far? Absolutely. Thank you for showing me how i can make my life in college better. Even tho if you end up not finding a friend group you still making all these memories and experiences randomness and i think it’s really beautiful!
Don't let this change who you are. Don't worry so much about making friends at college, especially first year as that year is a little unhinged. You are more emotionally mature than those you are surrounded by and that is not your fault. You'll feel better about it before you know it
its people like you i want to surround myself with, you somehow seem to be able to view the world through a different lens; its fresh its unique its personal and i love it. keep on creating art like this video, even if you dont make it public, its an expression and its a reflection of yourself stay true to who you are its really wonderful to see in a world full of duplications
This video has me so emotional rn😭😭😭. My first year of college in 2021 after Covid I was homesick from moving two hours away from my home. I would have panic attacks and be glued to my seat for hours until then. I had 0 friends and my roommates were horrible as if I didn’t exist. My sophomore was waaaayyy better with lit roommates we all understood each other and bonded instantly. I met people and attended events with them. I’m praying my junior year is legit. This video has shed light and for you to know your not alone when it comes to be seen as the “outsider” . No one is perfect and just know sometimes being alone and knowing how to keep yourself busy doing things you love, will help. All will come for greater things for you❤️🙏🏽. I would looovveee to be your friend if I had the opportunity. Best of luck! New subscriber!!
Hi there! I'm writing this in my final weeks of university before I graduate and leave that adventure behind me. I really felt the message of this video/documentary. All throughout high school I always had the feeling to be everyone's friend but never to be really included. It was like I had befriended all of those people but none of those were real friends at the same time. That changed for me at uni, where I got to meet wonderful people and a friend group started to form. The COVID-19 crisis sadly disrupted that but for a short time it felt like I belonged. I'm convinced that friendships and friend groups like these are not unique and eventually I'll find my place again. When I watch people having fun together when I'm alone, it always feels like I'm missing something. Then I realize that sometimes it is me surrounded by others that will be the object of another person's observation. I believe they sometimes think the same as I would. In the end, I'd advice to keep putting yourself out there and never to give up hope. It gets hard and lonely sometimes but remember that on some level you're never alone because many share that experience. Personally, my experience at university overall was really great. The 'high school group'-thing will always exist to some extent but people are more open to talk with you as they get older. I've had some of my best moments in the classrooms making small talk with random people and I'll cherish that and the fun nights out I had with friends. Remember to look at the bright side and the good moments you had as well and don't lose yourself only in the negative. On to new adventures!
Mate, thank you for writing this. This was comforting to read as an incoming freshman this fall. Much love brotha
@@devkparmar3925 good luck to you man!
It’s been a while since I’ve watched your videos, but I really enjoyed this one! I connected with what you said as I struggled to find friends my first year of college and was going through some personal struggles at the time. I’m so glad I preserved though and decided to make more time to spend with people and just take initiative more my sophomore year and so I’ve really got to connect with a lot of different people! Hope you push through and find satisfying friendships!
I've been out of college for 16 years and this was good to see. I enjoyed seeing you all go to each other's door and ask to play Cricket. Being able to do that is lost as you get older since everyone puts themselves on high and in a bubble. Good luck with the rest of school and continue working on building those connections you seek.
Hey Max, this really resonated, it's hard to find your own group of friends and everyone is just trying their best to figure things out. How I would define as life long friends are the ones that will be supportive towards you in both the good times and the bad times no matter the circumstance. Max, I've always appreciated your videos for being insightful and honest. Keep it up Max!😀
Each video I find myself connecting with you in ways that surprise me
(Even though I've been watching your videos for years now)
I feel the same things and when you create these videos where you are the most vulnerable makes you more relatable. You are going through it as well and it just shows that each person has a different journey and not everyone fits in or find their group at once, like you said good things takes time
At the same time wishing I could be able to have meaningful deep conversations with you about everything. Because you're not the only one and knowing that someone on the other side of the world feels the same way in a weird way makes me feel hopeful.
All the best in your time at college and don't stop putting yourself out there.
at the "growing up" part and seriously felt this. 23 and am just now going to college in the fall hoping to make some good buds at some point before I get too old. Idk, I have one or two people I'll casually talk to but never get the chance to hang out as often. Movies have painted a picture of this big friend group I hope to have someday. Just to be remembered by others besides family
A really comforting video max. I always thought I’m the only who couldn’t find „the friend group“ and after watching your video I felt more understood and it helped me. Thank you max for your videos. I enjoy watching them and they are never boring. Keep it up!
Recently graduated in college and I remember the amount of anxiety I had about struggling to make friends when entering college five years ago. It was around 2nd year when I finally had a great group of friends. I'm very thankful that I met them and will always be.
I needed this so much thank you.
went to go subscribe and realized I already was, went to like the video after finishing watching but apparently i did earlier on. this is really beautiful and well-crafted. i'm a freshman, moved 8 hours from home to school and i knew no one. thought this would give me the fresh start that i wanted but i feel more alone than ever. i miss my friends back home but we seemed to be all on our different paths now. it makes me feel seen when other people share the same experiences of struggling to create strong relationships with people. thank you for this video.
Max's videos bring a lot of comfort to me and are kind of like a safe haven when I am stressed out. I love your videos a lot because they are unfiltered and real and have emotion in them and aren't clickbait like other videos on the platform. Love you and your videos Max, hope you meet your friend group soon, Much love.
This was extremely inspirational as I believe I am the same age as you and going through a very similar experience here in college. Thank you for putting some of my emotions into words and for inspiring me to get out there more, it can't hurt to try.
i wanna say thanks a lot for making this, im ending my first year of college right now and this came as a comfort to me, i always longed for this idea of "that group" and in my growing up, ive found that the natural cant be forced, i also know that life offers you a lot of comfort moments and before you know it , youll be there, with the people you love on that drive. youre an awesome dude and im getting that only from this. i loved how you watched before sunrise on that projector, it made me feel like im gonna be okay one day. take care and happy 420 !!!
Idk if I’ve related to a video more than this one. When I first went to school in 2019 I felt the most alone than ever before. It pushed me into a depression like no other. When COVID came and we were had to stay off campus for a while I felt so much relief that I never wanted to go back. If I would’ve stayed I would’ve been graduating next month but instead I have another year to go. Although it’s pros and cons I know I can still finish eventually.
When I go back on campus next semester I hope to find my people or at least one person so that I don’t experience what I did before. Your video gives me face and showed me how far kindness can go
I really liked the comfort of this video. I started uni this year and its not until now (the ending of the last semester in spring) that I've started to see people outside of school settings. My friends from high school have asked me quite often if I've befriended anyone from uni yet and I've answered no again and again cuz it is hard and it takes time and I find it important to show that, just like you did in this video✨
Another superb presentation, Max. You're such a good story teller ... your vulnerability - and your openness about your struggles... you're changing lives. There's no way you sharing your deeper thoughts, your concerns, your wonderment about your own life experience ... there's NO WAY sharing all that isn't hitting someone who desperately needs to know they aren't "the only one". No way. Your transitions are great... I loved the style of this one. Can't wait til the next one. Keep on Keepin' on, Max! P.S. join a club, and if they don't have one you like, START a club you like... You got this!
I felt understood while watching your video and it means there are people like us out there looking for the good ones. I'm sure you're going to find amazing friends because you deserve it. ;) keep going ! Your videos are really comforting !
so so so relate to this as a first year at university. i feel isolated in my desire for deep and meaningful connections - but we're so not alone. you will find your people, it just takes time, cliche but true
This hit home. I'm not in college, but I moved high schools recently and I feel exactly how you do. I hold hope that maybe it will get better soon or when I start uni in a little over 2 years, but I can't be sure. Definitely subscribed, great relatable content and I look forward to seeing more of it
Your editing style is phenomenal. I am in love with it! In love with your aesthetic! Subbed alone for that!
I believe you will find your way and find friends in time. You just got to keep trying. Your people are out there, and when you find them, it'll be so worth it.
In my mind, the Cricket bit was beautiful. It's what life is about, simple things, just playing games and making new friends. You never know how much small things mean to someone.
I've only watched the first 5 minutes, but I can say, as a 22-year-old finishing university, I could relate to that initial part SO much. In school, I had a different friend group every year, and even when I finally had "my group" during junior and senior year, I still never felt like I was fully accepted into it (to this day, 6 years later, I only speak with two people from that group), or any of the others tbh. I wasn't exactly "popular", but it's not like a bullied or anything either, quite literally, a wallflower.
Around that same time, in 2017, I met who is my best friend today, online. And we love each other so much. And yes, when I entered uni, I struggled a lot. I changed people a lot, but I found the art club, and that's where I started making friends with amazing people I could spend a lot of time with during my first year, I also got to know people from my major better, and have a nice little group, whom I've had some of my best uni memories with.
This past year, I even got closer to a group of people that I knew, but was not friends with any of them, and I can say, I have never, in 5 years of uni, found a group of people with whom I could relate and be myself with the most. I have always felt very welcome with them, and even though I'm the newest in the whole group, I've never felt left out (not on purpose, maybe old inside jokes that I don't fully understand, but even then they care to explain why it was an inside joke). I struggled a lot in high school (with plenty of toxic friends lol), but I can say, it does get better. Start with a club, or a class that interests you, and go from there. Yes, there's people I don't talk to anymore, or don't even like that much anymore from that first people I met years ago, but that's okay, I'm not nearly the same person I was when I met them 5 years ago.
It has not all been rosy and perfect, of course not. But as a very anxious, introverted person (who has even started wondering if I might be neurodivergent), it is possible, and you never know when new people, who you can truly relate with, will appear in your life. You will change a lot during university, but that's just expected and it's okay. Find joy in your solitude, as well. A good book, learning a language, or listening some songs while staying in the library are always a great option when you don't have much to do or much people to be with around campus. And just in case: no, people don't care if you're eating alone, it's not that big of a deal, I promise lmao.
EDIT, as a finished: there's no rush to find "the group", put yourself as out there as you physically and mentally can, with no guilt and try not to beat yourself up about it. Heck, even go into things you don't really like or don't seem like you. My first term, I got into this leadership club thing, and I didn't like it at all, but it was fun for those two first introductory meeting lol. Last year, after literal YEARS of questioning myself if I could or should, I got in the choir, and it's such a nice group of people, and I'm so happy in it (although, mentally, I still struggle quite frequently, but at least I can find support and people who relate within these groups :D)
I really appreciated your honesty in this video. I’m happy you’re sharing your experience in the collage ‘cause I’m about to end high school in Italy and I share some of your worries regarding the search for friend groups. I think keep researching inside me and out there as well might work. Plus, reading and getting highly involved in what I study is extremely helpful (take authors like Blake, Wordsworth or Mary Shelley as examples). I’m curious to watch your future videos!!
Very relatable! 4 years in and i am still experiencing those feelings. Expectations i think going into college are so high. Which makes reality so hard to meet those expectations.
i stumbled across this video today and i think watching this gave me a new perspective on life. i start university next year and i guess i'm really worried about making new friends, i think it's the fact that i'm having to start again, having to adapt to the new environment around me and having to force myself to talk and socialise with others and make friends, i know that friends aren't always going to stick around but it almost feels very exhausting having to put myself out there in order to find the right group of people, people that i feel happy and comfortable around. i struggle with making friends as it is but watching this kind of comforted me.
Love back at you! Keep putting into the world your enormous passion for meaningful life insights and experiences. That passion will be a magnet to like-minded people. Your friend group will come!
Beautiful beautiful story it’s so amazing how vulnerable and open you are! I was a big fan of the part where you asked strangers to play cricket with you! That’s totally up my alley and FULLY support it 🙌
I will say, i didn’t meet my core college friend group till my junior year of college. Luckily I had some other friend groups through mascoting and class but the core ride or die friends didn’t come till later. The sad thing is we don’t really keep in touch anymore, maybe it’s because of Covid, but even that friend group will fizzle. The experience in creating and finding that friend group is what should be taken away because every now and then you’ll need to branch out and find new people!
You’ll find them soon, I’m sure of it! But for now you have some wonderful online friends and a close friend irl!!❤
I just wanna say thank you for making this! I’m very touched.
omg i remember seeing your video in France like 3 years ago! i want to tell you it's okay to feel lonely sometimes especially when around other people that you see have those connections already or happen to get along fine so just why can't they be your friends too right? I've been feeling this deeply all my life, I hope it gets better for us Max, but just so you know I would be happy to have you as a friend :) cheers to a good semester! sick projector btw!
I’m in my first year of college right now and I also found it hard to find friends initially. I had to push myself to go to random events alone and talk to people and I got a lot better socially. My biggest tip is to just be intentional about your social skills. When you meet someone make it a point to memorize their name and if you see them walking by at least say hi, even if you’ve only met them like one time.
I’ve been watching your videos since you were in France, I was in England at the time and it felt nice to have another American who I could relate to in Europe. Seeing one of your videos get recommended to me again, and it being this brought me back to that time. This video really conveys what I felt like, and how it might be when I go to college soon.
i've always had this struggle too. im in freshman year of college and i haven't felt so painfully lonely in my life. especially after thinking i found my group and that collapsing. you seem like one of those rare very genuine, kind people. hopefully you'll attract those too!! i found it helpful to not take it personally. it doesn't have to do with who you are, it has a lot to do with luck i think. i would love to be friends w you if we met tho :) you're a true artist, i hope you have an overall happy experience at school!!
My very first semester in uni started few weeks ago and I met a lot of people but I haven’t met “my people” I’m introverted and shy but I thought I could make friends like I did in high school. But things are just different and it’s so difficult to make a strong bond with new people. I’m planning to join a club and do volunteering and I hope I can meet “my people” there. I still feel lonely but I believe that trying to meet new people and make friends grows me a lot and makes me stronger. Thank you for making this amazing video it made me realize I’m not alone and there’re some people who feel the same way. It comforted me a lot ❤
I did struggle a lot in my first year since it was during the lockdown, and online school didn't help either. I felt loneliness crippling my brain every moment that passed. It's improved since then, even though I still don't have that person matching my energy. Felt way better knowing I'm not alone.Thank you for sharing your experience. ❤
This is beautiful, thankyou!
The same happened to me when i went to college, i was super alone but i didnt let that take over me. I started making friends just by getting outta my comfort zone. Never feel alone without trying to make friends....And this is literally the most beautiful video that i have ever watched
Wrapping up my first year experiencing the same things, I needed to see this
I’ve been in college for 3 years and the only real friends i have are the people i met in my first year and the people that i have had the privilege of going through similar experiences with. Suffering to say the least. There’s such a unique emotion you get to feel when hanging out with the people you struggle with, you create this bond that is different than most people. Everyone has things to do, things to accomplish, things to achieve, and it’s hard when your plans get interrupted. They feel thrown off and it may be different than what they’re used to. They may not ready to accept those new challenges. People are different, especially at college. But this is where you truly get to develop the person you are. The reason people are accepted into college is because creating a diverse experience for students allows them to become more creative and intuitive in their different endeavors. To overall become more inclusive. Through this experience you’re challenged to express who you are open heartedly while also enjoying the differences. It’s what makes things interesting.
This video really hit different. Your videos mean the world to me and many other people out there Max, thanks so much and keep it up buddy! Everything always work out in the end :)
Thank you for this. A few month ago I started my freshman year in college and was struggling a lot with friendship. I slowly started to realize that it's okay to not find your people. So I stayed true to myself and started to enjoy my own company. Honestly I think chosing yourself over a friendship that just isn't for you is the best choice one can make. If you stay patient you'll realize that people will start liking you for your true self and this.. this is the ultimate goal.
keep on inspiring people,
big thank you from Venice, Italy
It's my first semester in Uni, and I am experiencing the same. I shouldn't try to be someone else to fit in. I don't think that's how you find your group. That's why I am being true to myself and open to finding my people.
it is so emotional to see sb on the other side of the world facing a similar situation, but max you always provide a new point of view for others to look at, that is very precious of you. and i want to thank you again and again for sharing your journeys with us. sending love as always
These are by far the most under viewed short films on RUclips. Your ability to produce series like stories is incredible. Keep up the great work 🇬🇧🇬🇧📈
your videos are amazing. you’ll meet great friends. good luck max
Love how vulnerable you are bro
Hey Max,
I'm about to go into my senior year of University. Totally feel those same emotions and have shared your experience. I love experiencing new places and cultures, listening to new music, and eating food. I found that the best way for me to make meaningful connections is to take some of those things and invite a new acquaintance to go out and experience something new with you! For me that was getting involved in a live music organization on campus and joining the Japanese club. But it's also important to find things to enjoy on your own, and make loneliness less frightening. I think it's great that you have this outlet on RUclips to express your thoughts creatively and communicate with your viewers. Keep on pushing and take everything as an opportunity to participate in something new and potentially meet great people!
bro the effort of editing these video are insane good stuff man
Going in a college freshman next year, it’s refreshing to know others have the same fears about connection in universities. Thank you 🎥
I wish we went to the same college because you seem like a really good person. (And you passed the vibe check)
And the feeling of “my people” you mentioned, is something I constantly feel empty about ngl. Wish we could find the people we vibe with easier
i’m starting college in the fall, and your videos have been very realistic and have really hit home for me. Your videos always end on a hopeful note, which i really appreciate. I’m excited for college, but also nervous since I’m a more introverted and independent person. I’ve been really inspired by all of the #youtubenewwave creators, but specifically you, and I’ve started playing around with vlogging and videos in general. I’m hoping that I can use my exploring in that medium to connect with people in college. I guess, I want to say thank you for being a realistic but hopeful perspective on entering college, and I can’t wait to keep following your journey as I start my own. ❤
I followed Max for a very long time since he was just a small channel. It is so nostalgic and also cool at the same time to see how far Max has come!
A VERY well made video. Good music and direction... keep up the good work man!
I had similar experiences and feelings when I was in high school and college. I tried to reach out for people who I believed that shared the same hobbies with me, but it turned out that even we did have something in common, people were so different being themselves already. It's very brave for you to show this part of 'vulnerability' to us and I'm so related. I used to feel ashamed for having no friends in college, and I kind of still feel that way now. But trust me, maybe you will cross paths with your group of people someday. And when it happens, you don't even have to give it a second thought. Before that, just enjoy being 'away from the crowds' and alone from time to time. You needn't feel the urge to make good friends and find your place right away. You already did so well. Thanks for the film, and have a good time in college! (Apologize if I made myself hard to understand by errors in grammar.)
damn man your editing and videography compels emotion so deeply, such an amazing storyteller!
this was an awesome video i really enjoyed it i like how raw and real it was as always. Playing cricket and watching films on a projector outside are always fun anyone not willing to hang out with you max are missing out because you are really cool and awesome :)
I never thought I'd see such a relatable video on this topic, especially from a popular youtuber. Thanks for sharing this.
A lot of my true friends ended up being people I met after college. There's a time and season for everyone and everything. I wish you all the best. I like your boxers too!
This year I'll start my first year of university. In school I didn't make real friends and former friendships ended due to different personal development. I guess that's just the way things go but it's still hard knowing you'll start all over in uni and at the same time have no old friends you could go back for support.
I hope all of you will find "your group"!
I can relate to this so much, at this point I'm very used to and comfortable with being alone and finding enjoyment in that, and then also relying on internet friends for that social communication. But i haven't been able to really make friends in person in that close way you mention, and ngl social anxiety is part of the problem, but i hope eventually things will change
Love you Max and love this vulnerabilty. Incredible video!
im glad you are not alone,
i had no friends and felt very isolated and the pressure of school was just to much so i dropped out on 3rd year, not a great choice but it is what it is
Glad to know I’m far from the only one feeling this way. And omg I love the storytelling, editing, music, etc on this video! I’m working on video with some similarities to this one and you’re definitely inspiring me. ☺️ Keep up the great work! 😄
You have a gift. I came across your video by chance and i was completely captivated by your cinematography and your story. I can relate to it a lot after finishing my first year in university and feeling completely lost. I live on another continent, but you have a new friend right here.