So you have a bomb in your bag,or had,because had and have are completely different things,and why do you have a bag ? why dont you have a suitcase,surely this is more bomb worthy ? These are the type of things he would be asking
+Treblaine A while ago, I started a story about David, Jason Statham, David Mitchell and a bunch of others. Richard (Ayoade)'s made an uncomfortable documentary on Germans and was then being blackmailed by Germans (my favorite people, but I gave them the vilainrole anyway) and David was helping. Sadly, in my story, he wasn't very helpful and rather inconveniently friendly and shy. I'll copy-paste a part of it. It's not a great story and about 2 pages long. I started it after an episode of TBFQE once. While slightly panting, David took the last steps on the stairs and rang the doorbell. Whý did Richard have to live on the 5th floor? You’d think that after all the episodes of Gadget Man, he would’ve figured that convenience is key if you want people to visit often. The door opened and a rather greyfaced Richard looked him in the eye. David hesitated for a moment, deciding whether a faint smile would make matters worse, but judging from the tormented look on Richard’s face, it probably couldn’t have. ‘I heared..it’s..how much is it now?”, David tried continuing the conversation they’d had on the phone before. “Did they manage to get the money from your other account?” Without speaking, Richard nodded and sat down on his couch, collapsing on it like an old bag of potatoes. It was weird seeing him this exhausted and tense, compared to his usual classy disposition. ‘And…now they’re...”, David started again, hoping Richard would finish the sentence. He wasn’t sure what else they could take from him, apart from the house around them and the couch he was currently sitting on. Yet, without the money on the bank, Richard wouldn’t be able to pay the rent either. ‘..they’ve told me that, if I don’t get the money before eight tomorrow..they will hack into the other bankaccount and drain the last bit of money. So far, the van with items has probably already crossed the border, so that’s gone…” He folded his hands in front of him and looked down at the ground. It looked like he was going to be sick. He sighed and lifted his head back up. “And they’ve mentioned that if I dare to transfer the money into another bank account, they’ll go after Jimmy Carr, because they heard he didn’t pay taxes and had lots of money.” Right as David wanted to answer, the doorbell rang again. It looked like Richard tried to get up from the couch, realized he didn’t have the energy and sank back on the pillows, while David got the door. “Hello there…” A tall guy with a bald head and low eyebrows appeared from the hallway and sat down with a compassionate grin on his face. “Oh Richard..what did you get yourself into? You know ‘ze’ Germans are sensitive about those sortof things..” Richard just sighed again and Jason Statham nodded. “Sure, alright, too early for the jokes…have you informed the cops yet?” “No, we believe that’ll only make things worse..”, David said as he sat down and put two steaming cups of tea in front of Jason and Richard. “No, thanks, I just had a cola..”, Jason said. ‘Ah..well there were only two cups left on the shelve..but if you don’t mind..”, David said, as he grabbed Jason’s cup from the coaster and started drinking from it. This unusual display of lack of social etiquette showed how shaken he was by the situation. Jason turned around and looked at the laptop on the table. ‘Mind if I take a look at your finances then, Richard?” “Better take a quick look, it’ll be gone soon..”, Richard mumbled dull and took a sip of the tea. “Now, come on, Russell and Noel are on the lookout too…Adele’s promised she’ll bring her car, so chances are big that they’ll find your items back before they’ve even reached the tunnel!’ “And you don’t think that they’ll shoot them if they try getting the items back?” Richard looked up. “Listen..the threats have already gone from me, to Jimmy…once they know you guys are involved, you will be the new targets…I just have to get that ransom and everything will be-” “They will never leave you alone, Richard, don’t kid yourself..”, Jason added. “Listen..they found a reason to hate you..there’s nothing you can change about that. The only thing we can do is delay any payments, protect the rest of your belongings and get those guys out of the way as quickly as possible…” He looked through the window, at the outside streets and looked at the laptop again. “You said the email was German, right?” “Well, the sender was German..the letter was in English..”, Richard sighed. “Oh, I’m sorry guys..I need to lie down for a bit..I feel so nauseous..” “I’ll wake you when the rest is here..”, David promised while Richard shakily got up and made an attempt to shuffle to his bedroom. “Ey..it’s gonna be alright…no worries..” Jason hit him generously hard on the back and smiled. “I’ve seen worse cases mate, I’ll just get that money stored on another account and warn that Jimmy..” He leaned backwards in a chair and clicked his tongue, while looking across the room until his eyes caught a halfempty bag of chips. ‘You don’t mind if I eat some of your crisps now, do you?’, he yelled through the room, while already taking a handful. He opened a new screen and started creating a new bank account.
David Mitchell should do a comic re-imaging of Columbo. I'd love to see the walk-away with hand on head--"one more thing..." then go off on a rant about the sticky bits of gum leaving a trail across the marble floor of the murdered heiress smelling of wintergreen juicy fruit.
+Simplicius Simplicissimus I wish we could all see that. While the Columbo style rant can only be in our imaginations, I'm pretty sure there's an episode of Peep Show where he does the turn and 'one more thing....' remark when trying to weedle information out of someone.
+Christie Ryan Yup! That's the episode when he first meets April as the shoe shop assistant. In his internal monologue he says "Do a Columbo, do a Columbo!" before doing the spin.
***** Well obviously, but if you have a knack for it people will likely enjoy it anyway. With Mitchell you just somehow know that there's a point behind it and the rant itself is just exaggeration for comic effect.
One of my favorite shows i watch on iplayer and one of things i really like about this show is the interchanges between Lee and David and the north/south divide they jokingly work against each other, the rants from David playing the disgruntled voice of reason (the straight man) while Lee is the comedy protagonist just making shit up for his particular 'lie' which plays off David beautifully with great effect, great show all round really, very enjoyable.
What's with the "oh dear"? The David Mitchel Rant spiral is a very nice spiral to be in. Much better than the "wanking off to mildly arousing images on daytime television" spiral, or the "watched every single episode of Mock the Week and now I need a new comedy show" spiral ^^
Whoa!! Hey, Mr. so called Rob Brydon, I'm from the North and I object most strongly to the notion that we would never wantonly discard any pastry based food stuff! We do have a ten second rule, you know!
There is no way you can get a hot sausage roll through the lobby, up the lift, through all the meandering through the special exhibit and history of the tower and then finally to the top, and then higher into the outside top area to even throw the sausage roll, for it to still be hot by the time it got there, unless you put it in a thermos flask.
Apparently, us Northerners have a strong desire to eat pastry based snacks, such as sausage rolls, pies and pasties. Greggs is such a massive industry that they set up a manufacturing facility in East Manchester, just so we could get them as fresh as humanly possible. It's basically the same thing as Scots eating deep fried everything, or Londoners not understanding the concept of gravy, or everyone from Surrey being deeply into Quinoa.
mudslider Well, I can't claim the bit about Surrey and Quinoa is accurate, and I'm fairly sure the deep fried Mars bar thing is pretty much just a Glasgow thing. But we folk from the North West in particular are very fond of our Greggs pasties.
For those wondering, the sausage would have been moving at about 55 meters per second (almost 200 kilometres per hour) discounting air resistance, assuming Lee was on Blackpool Tower's roof, and that the target was about as tall as Lee. I discount air resistance because I don't know what the drag coefficient of a warm-ish sausage roll is.
We used to call them pseuds, people who demonstrated their superiority over the general mass by, for example, claiming to appreciate far more sophisticated comedy than you can find here. Nice to know they are still alive and well and living on RUclips.
"As if anyone from the North would waste something wrapped in pastry."
The accuracy of that quote is fucking unbelievable!
So true, we do love our pastries 😁😂
we do love our pastries
I knew it was a lie because he's not from North America. I'm absolutely disgusted by the waste here, its even being sent abroad. Please help.
I'm a northerner and I did post a bag of chips into a letterbox once. I'm still not sure how I feel about it.
@@TheAmazingAdventuresOfMiles free meal, who's complaining
I just love how the story gets progressively and more alarmingly detailed.
Like every Bob Mortimer story.
What a fabulous hand swish when he said "warmish"
Every single time, I cry laughing... Every one.
@@kmmara41 i didnt even realise how many likes this got i was 15 when i said this XDXD
@@ibbyltn5537 congratulations what will you spend your likes on?
Especially when hes impromptu responding to Lee yelling it wasnt hot.
@@boxybox100 I'm saving up mine for a hot or quite hot sausage roll.
david: "as a child, I once was hit in the face by a falling, warmish sausage roll."
BAHAHAHA
David Mitchell should to used to interrogate terrorists
Exactly my thought, he would be brilliant at it.
So you have a bomb in your bag,or had,because had and have are completely different things,and why do you have a bag ? why dont you have a suitcase,surely this is more bomb worthy ?
These are the type of things he would be asking
@@ryanwilliams4223 "are you inferring i have a bomb?"
"no, I'm *implying* "
idk the man is a bad liar, he kept touching his nose and the over the top miming of the thing happening gave it away
@@eeFiroK Lee is an incredible lier when he actually tries. But lots of times, like here, he just goes waaaaay over the top for fun.
Plot Twist: David was the kid
Haha
+Kieran White The rant did sound like it came from experience
Brilliant! Nicely done, Kieran.
his rant sounded like it came from a place of personal pain
@@johntobin7368 Not really, it was already implicit in the joke
I love the sound of resignation in Lee's voice when he said "Ah because I'm Northern..."
I love thatlittle jab at the writers for giving him something so stereotypical lol
I love it when David goes on a rant and won't like Lee speak, you can see Lee getting really annoyed haha
All these Would I lie To You rants make me think David Mitchell would make a great TV detective.
+Treblaine Or a great Question Time panelist
+Treblaine
A while ago, I started a story about David, Jason Statham, David Mitchell and a bunch of others.
Richard (Ayoade)'s made an uncomfortable documentary on Germans and was then being blackmailed by Germans (my favorite people, but I gave them the vilainrole anyway) and David was helping. Sadly, in my story, he wasn't very helpful and rather inconveniently friendly and shy.
I'll copy-paste a part of it. It's not a great story and about 2 pages long. I started it after an episode of TBFQE once.
While slightly panting, David took the last steps on the stairs and rang the doorbell.
Whý did Richard have to live on the 5th floor? You’d think that after all the episodes of Gadget Man, he would’ve figured that convenience is key if you want people to visit often.
The door opened and a rather greyfaced Richard looked him in the eye.
David hesitated for a moment, deciding whether a faint smile would make matters worse, but judging from the tormented look on Richard’s face, it probably couldn’t have.
‘I heared..it’s..how much is it now?”, David tried continuing the conversation they’d had on the phone before. “Did they manage to get the money from your other account?”
Without speaking, Richard nodded and sat down on his couch, collapsing on it like an old bag of potatoes.
It was weird seeing him this exhausted and tense, compared to his usual classy disposition.
‘And…now they’re...”, David started again, hoping Richard would finish the sentence. He wasn’t sure what else they could take from him, apart from the house around them and the couch he was currently sitting on. Yet, without the money on the bank, Richard wouldn’t be able to pay the rent either.
‘..they’ve told me that, if I don’t get the money before eight tomorrow..they will hack into the other bankaccount and drain the last bit of money.
So far, the van with items has probably already crossed the border, so that’s gone…”
He folded his hands in front of him and looked down at the ground. It looked like he was going to be sick. He sighed and lifted his head back up.
“And they’ve mentioned that if I dare to transfer the money into another bank account, they’ll go after Jimmy Carr, because they heard he didn’t pay taxes and had lots of money.”
Right as David wanted to answer, the doorbell rang again. It looked like Richard tried to get up from the couch, realized he didn’t have the energy and sank back on the pillows, while David got the door.
“Hello there…” A tall guy with a bald head and low eyebrows appeared from the hallway and sat down with a compassionate grin on his face.
“Oh Richard..what did you get yourself into? You know ‘ze’ Germans are sensitive about those sortof things..”
Richard just sighed again and Jason Statham nodded. “Sure, alright, too early for the jokes…have you informed the cops yet?”
“No, we believe that’ll only make things worse..”, David said as he sat down and put two steaming cups of tea in front of Jason and Richard.
“No, thanks, I just had a cola..”, Jason said.
‘Ah..well there were only two cups left on the shelve..but if you don’t mind..”, David said, as he grabbed Jason’s cup from the coaster and started drinking from it. This unusual display of lack of social etiquette showed how shaken he was by the situation.
Jason turned around and looked at the laptop on the table. ‘Mind if I take a look at your finances then, Richard?”
“Better take a quick look, it’ll be gone soon..”, Richard mumbled dull and took a sip of the tea.
“Now, come on, Russell and Noel are on the lookout too…Adele’s promised she’ll bring her car, so chances are big that they’ll find your items back before they’ve even reached the tunnel!’
“And you don’t think that they’ll shoot them if they try getting the items back?” Richard looked up.
“Listen..the threats have already gone from me, to Jimmy…once they know you guys are involved, you will be the new targets…I just have to get that ransom and everything will be-”
“They will never leave you alone, Richard, don’t kid yourself..”, Jason added.
“Listen..they found a reason to hate you..there’s nothing you can change about that. The only thing we can do is delay any payments, protect the rest of your belongings and get those guys out of the way as quickly as possible…”
He looked through the window, at the outside streets and looked at the laptop again.
“You said the email was German, right?”
“Well, the sender was German..the letter was in English..”, Richard sighed. “Oh, I’m sorry guys..I need to lie down for a bit..I feel so nauseous..”
“I’ll wake you when the rest is here..”, David promised while Richard shakily got up and made an attempt to shuffle to his bedroom.
“Ey..it’s gonna be alright…no worries..” Jason hit him generously hard on the back and smiled. “I’ve seen worse cases mate, I’ll just get that money stored on another account and warn that Jimmy..”
He leaned backwards in a chair and clicked his tongue, while looking across the room until his eyes caught a halfempty bag of chips.
‘You don’t mind if I eat some of your crisps now, do you?’, he yelled through the room, while already taking a handful. He opened a new screen and started creating a new bank account.
Widdekuu91 cool story bro, whats TBFQE?
Funny you should say that...
ruclips.net/video/i9iQ1yU5Ops/видео.html
Poor Lee looked so defeated
I just love how David beat Lee into submission with his maniacle rant.
The chemistry between David and Lee is always brilliant
Lee's instant look of confusion immediately followed by bemusement when David asks if they were hot sausage rolls. Kills me every time.
To quote David Mitchell, "I SMELL SAUSAGE ROLLS, SIR!"
"I SMELL SAUSAGE- *a quit-hot sausage roll hits him in the face.*
@@theAngryscotman No... a WARMISH sausage roll =P
You know it's going to be a good clip when it's called 'David Mitchell - Sausage Roll Rant'.
I can't stop playing 1:25 over and over again. I laugh every single time. The hand movement is just amazing.
I love David
"As if someone Northern would waste anything wrapped in pastry" This show slays me!
I am sooo in love with David Mitchell.
"How fast would a sausage roll be moving when it hit someone at the bottom?"
Roughly 23 meters per second.
amazing. thank you for providing the facts
David Mitchell is my favorite British actor. Scratch that.. favorite actor all around
Mainly comedian
I have rants just like David Mitchell's, except that his are funny.
"...A warm-ISH *hand wobble* sausage roll...!!!"
LOL David XD
"And then next thing he knows, a WARMish sausage roll hits him slap in the face!" haha love david mitchell
David Mitchell should do a comic re-imaging of Columbo. I'd love to see the walk-away with hand on head--"one more thing..." then go off on a rant about the sticky bits of gum leaving a trail across the marble floor of the murdered heiress smelling of wintergreen juicy fruit.
Simplicius Simplicissimus That would be amazing.
Simplicius Simplicissimus I'd watch that show.
+Simplicius Simplicissimus I wish we could all see that. While the Columbo style rant can only be in our imaginations, I'm pretty sure there's an episode of Peep Show where he does the turn and 'one more thing....' remark when trying to weedle information out of someone.
+Christie Ryan Yup! That's the episode when he first meets April as the shoe shop assistant. In his internal monologue he says "Do a Columbo, do a Columbo!" before doing the spin.
+Simplicius Simplicissimus I remember a skit like that in mitchell + webb look, not sure what episode though.
David Mitchell is so so funny love his great work.
Thumbs up from Rep Ireland
I love this man's courageous and bold perspective on modern society.
I can never decide whether I find David Mitchell attractive or want to adopt him.
That was brilliant! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ David totally took that personally.
he just goes off and i love his conviction
I love David Mitchells rants....
+kuryamtl best comedy ever
***** Well obviously, but if you have a knack for it people will likely enjoy it anyway. With Mitchell you just somehow know that there's a point behind it and the rant itself is just exaggeration for comic effect.
I've been looking for this for ages! I just watched Would I Lie To You before and I remembered this rant that made me laugh my guts out! X'D
His wittyness is freaking awesome, i love that man
Aw poor Lee trying to break the Rant Barrier
His rants never get old :')
I love David Mitchell's rants.
They left the best bit out - about using numbers as an accurate way of describing temperature! Mitchell's rants are so funny.
david has hilarious outbursts, lee has pure wit. love this show
I like how they decided he was a liar purely based on how well they know him and that he wouldn't just chuck a sausage roll.
I like how there's pretty much a David Mitchell rant for everything on youtube.
I was having a miserable morning. David's rant made everything better.
What is it that so terrifies about WARMISH sausage rolls? What has David seen?
A fall of 150m speeds up a sausage roll quite a bit
David Mitchell and Rob Brydon are hilarious
+Matthew Hawkins Yep. And Lee Mack as well !
Anfubvinch and my axe!
I'm crushing hard on David Mitchell at the moment. was not disappointed by this clip.
One of my favorite shows i watch on iplayer and one of things i really like about this show is the interchanges between Lee and David and the north/south divide they jokingly work against each other, the rants from David playing the disgruntled voice of reason (the straight man) while Lee is the comedy protagonist just making shit up for his particular 'lie' which plays off David beautifully with great effect, great show all round really, very enjoyable.
yes , north / south class divide also .
OMG David's voice when he "WARM-ISH" ahaa awww bless!
Absolutely brilliant
"...a warmISHH sausage roll...!" XD
And may I say that David Mitchell at 2:15 is probably the cutest thing I have ever seen.
The end remark was the most pertinent. Gives it away that it had to be a lie.
love the hands David Mitchell does when he says "warm-ish"!
Some days are bad days...but they can't touch me when David Mitchell's rants are playing...
David Mitchell's Rants Are Amazing!! hahahaha
I miss AmandaPrefect. She was your perfect, witty, and erudite one-stop-shop for all your David Mitchell (et. al) needs.
David Mitchell AND Lee Mack are both BRILLAINT Comidians and I love them BOTH!! :)
I'm amazed that he managed to get that all out without pausing for breath!
0:57 "Mah Nigga..."
I nearly spat everywhere watching that
I love how David Mitchell says "..a warmish sausage roll" hahah xD 1:28
Would I Lie To You:
The only show in which I have ever heard David rant quite this much
ahaha David's voice crack at 'warm-ish'
time to spend the morning watching david mitchell rants
David's hilarious when he goes off on one!! :)
I do so love David's rants, I feel he's proof that society isn't all bad.
What's with the "oh dear"? The David Mitchel Rant spiral is a very nice spiral to be in. Much better than the "wanking off to mildly arousing images on daytime television" spiral, or the "watched every single episode of Mock the Week and now I need a new comedy show" spiral ^^
I watch this specifically for David Mitchell.
This makes me think of David's character Ginger, companion of Sir Digby Ceasar Chicken, in That Mitchell and Webb Look.
"I smell sausage rolls!"
😂
oh god i never laughed so much in my life david mitchell is fantastic
Whoa!! Hey, Mr. so called Rob Brydon, I'm from the North and I object most strongly to the notion that we would never wantonly discard any pastry based food stuff! We do have a ten second rule, you know!
Ranting like that is a rare talent.
The defeat on Lee Mack's face....
Love his rants!!! XD
I love David sooo much, HAHA!
There is no way you can get a hot sausage roll through the lobby, up the lift, through all the meandering through the special exhibit and history of the tower and then finally to the top, and then higher into the outside top area to even throw the sausage roll, for it to still be hot by the time it got there, unless you put it in a thermos flask.
Oh I freakin' love David.
His rants are so good.
12 years ago, jesus
i love the way he says "warmish"
that dig at the north in the end :D
i dont get it
Apparently, us Northerners have a strong desire to eat pastry based snacks, such as sausage rolls, pies and pasties. Greggs is such a massive industry that they set up a manufacturing facility in East Manchester, just so we could get them as fresh as humanly possible. It's basically the same thing as Scots eating deep fried everything, or Londoners not understanding the concept of gravy, or everyone from Surrey being deeply into Quinoa.
leopold well all of that was new to me. so thanks lol makes sense now
mudslider Well, I can't claim the bit about Surrey and Quinoa is accurate, and I'm fairly sure the deep fried Mars bar thing is pretty much just a Glasgow thing. But we folk from the North West in particular are very fond of our Greggs pasties.
Hahahaha,gotta love when David goes off on one,lol.
David Mitchell: there's a rant for that
Well that settles it... David is by far, the last man I tell if I were to do that...
Judging by the way he reacted to this story, I like to think that this happened to david
Hilarious rant!
It's about time this show had a new team of researchers who can think of some vaguely believable stories.
Dear god I love that man.
This is a perfect example of 90% of internet conversations.
Lee Mack tries to shut David up but it doesn't work. He tried harder after to talk over David after this episode 😂
Just the name of the video had me in tears.
"..a WARMISH sausage roll.." it's almost not fair how funny he is!
Lee maybe more quick witted but when David starts a rant he is unstoppable.
I love David Mitchell. 😂
@cheekysquiggle the title isn't 'best of rob brydon and lee mack' is it
i watched purely for the david mitchell element
OWNED !
1:18 "on holiday in Blackpool of all places"
"oh" - several people in the crowd
and i love watching it!
gold, pure comedy gold
For those wondering, the sausage would have been moving at about 55 meters per second (almost 200 kilometres per hour) discounting air resistance, assuming Lee was on Blackpool Tower's roof, and that the target was about as tall as Lee.
I discount air resistance because I don't know what the drag coefficient of a warm-ish sausage roll is.
LOVE DAVID
And there's nothing but happiness to follow
*sees title in Related Videos* *clicks with delight*
We used to call them pseuds, people who demonstrated their superiority over the general mass by, for example, claiming to appreciate far more sophisticated comedy than you can find here. Nice to know they are still alive and well and living on RUclips.
I had to bite my hand to stop myself from giggling like a madwoman and driving my dad insane.
this just made me crave for a sausage rolls ! now I have to leave the house, in the rain and buy some ...