Here is what Ren has said about this song/video: 1) "This was shot with no budget at the end of a frickin ' freezing October, felt like I was going to get hypothermia lying on cold slate for a few hours, serious case of mind over matter but so happy with how it turned out :) The song came about after a nervous breakdown following lots of visits to emergency room after some scary health problems. It's a song for anybody who has faced any kind of mental challenges, depression, anxiety, or health struggles while in a relationship and all the fears that come along for the ride with that. It is also a song for the courageous and wonderful people who support their other halves, family or friends during times of crisis :) In whatever context I hope my music can help take some of the weight from anyone suffering and help people feel less alone." 2) "This song is probably my favorite from the first ever album I put out It's called crutch. Weeks before I wrote this I had come out of multiple visits to the emergency room, I didn't know I had lyme disease yet and thought I was loosing my mind. To be transparent I was really scared being this sick, frail, crazy person would make me unlovable. My girlfriend Bibi at the time had been witnessing some of the hardest things I went through, and I was really scared it would push her away. I wanted to write something which put my fears to music, and this song was the end result. We filmed this during a cold October, when I was very underweight, but I wanted the video to be exposing, not shying away from the parts of me that repulsed myself. I think thats whats really powerful about art, it doens't always have to be comfortable, and sometimes the things we think are really ugly, can be alchemised into something that contains beauty."
@@smokedog2185 My interpretation, based on what he said above, is that she was there and then disappeared, because the song represents his fear that he would lose her. To me, imagining her doesn't seem consistent with what he said here.
@@sharoncarlisle9453 tbh the only reason a thought she could've never really been their, just in his head, cos how he still holds his hands up to her face after she disappears like she could've just been in his head all along, then at end just to show us she did end up leaving him when things got bad
@@smokedog2185 I think the video is vague enough to leave room for the listener's interpretation, so who knows. As far as real life goes, I don't know anything about why they didn't stay together. Ren has not shared that, which I think is a good thing. I do know that Biibi set up and ran the go fund me to help raise the money for his stem cell procedure, so it seems like she was around for awhile after this song.
Woman in the chat here. For me, personally, vulnerability is strength. Honesty is strength. Accepting help is strength. There's also a fine line between being supportive of someone and being swallowed up for someone. BOTH partners need support when one person is struggling so deeply but it's worth it. We're all human. Loved this reaction and discussion. As a woman it was great hearing your perspective and personal experiences.
Yep. Male/female inter-relationships vary. Men who always present as a rock, attract women who expect and need that. They aren't being selfish, they're living out the script their parents gave them. Speaking for myself, I wouldn't get involved with a man who thought he needed to "take the lead" and "shield" me. The minute I sniffed that out, I was gone, because it implies a man who CAN'T share, and who can't be vulnerable. If you START by sharing, you'll find a woman who values it. That doesn't mean first date, but at the first appropriate serious moment. And those moments are always there, but usually get buried under bravado.
Finally! One of my absolute favourites. Just stunning. It’s such a perfect expression of agony in lyrics, voice, music, and even the video. Breathtaking and heart wrenching.
I know from previous videos that you probably debated whether to post this one, just wanted to say huge props to you on putting this out there and opening up. Both you guys should take great pride in what you’re doing and sharing so much with those of us who have found the channel, great reaction guys and I love the funny ones and they always make me laugh but these ones are powerful!
Thanks for opening up BP. Emotions are one of the things that make us human. We should never feel ashamed of showing others how we feel. If we dont then were hiding who we truly are from the people we love.
It's a shame that society has made our men shut down. When my husband and I thought our beautiful pet, Brio, our Australian shepherd, was going to die of cancer, he cried in front of me and it gave me a deeper respect and love for him. I felt more connected to him than ever before. Thank you BP for showing your underbelly much respect!
Yes , her effort meant Ren could go to Germany and finally get a diagnosis of Lyme disease and start on the journey of a stem cell transplant which turned his life around back to the land of the living .
If you can't show your weakness in front of your partner without judgement, you're with the wrong partner or perhaps you underestimate your partner. A good cry can be very healing male or female! Your Mum sounds amazing ❤❤ Your Dad too.
I’d recommend never, ever exposing yourself to any woman to that extent. It won’t fix anything and it will sooner or later just bring trouble and that trouble will be double.
@@supertuscans9512very sad that you feel that way. You must've had some real shitty women in your life. I can assure you there are plenty who will stand by their man at his weakest point just like in this video, I hope someday you come across the lady who changes your mind 💜
@@supertuscans9512 Jesus! If you're not trolling i genuinely feel bad for you. I don't feel sorry for you because it sounds like you don't deserve sympathy... So i just feel bad for you that you think like that.
It's incredible how much emotion Ren's music evokes, and how differently everyone interprets it. Really love the conversation between you two and how I (we) get to know you. Huge hug to you both❤.
Wow, not sure if it's a cultural thing but women in Europe are very open to showing emotional support, but friends from Africa and Asia have a similar story to you guys and feel a need to be strong for their women. Not sure which is right or wrong tho
I think Don's got it right. There's limits to everything. You can have a crutch, but you can't fall over and expect to be held up by a person who also has their own things to deal with.
Hmm, i don't know about that. I feel like i can fall on my partner and she will (and has) propped me up) but the same goes/went the other way. In a strong relationship where both people have shit to deal with it's not "i can't support you because i have my own shit to deal with". It's "Thank you for supporting me with this, i got you when you need me to prop you up".
So glad you got to the takeaways you did at the end. The whole “red pill” tip you were talking about initially feels like it is just a caricature of real life and real people and real relationships. I really resonate with everything you were talking about toward the end. As a woman in a relationship with my husband starting very young and lasting over 20 years now, and witnessing all kinds of frailty, and tears, and emotions, and fears in my husband, I can say that not all women are scared away by that. Can it be scary? Yes. But it all comes down to trust. I have to trust my husband enough to know that him expressing his fears and sadness to me does not mean he’s crumbling and will abandon me or destroy himself, and he has to trust me that showing me his fear and sadness won’t freak me out so much that I run away. And it goes both ways. I highly recommend therapy. Both of us have had extensive individual therapy and we’ve also done couples therapy. It can really help. Because before you can put that kind of trust in someone else, you have to first learn to trust yourself. And that is the root of it all.
If you can't share those issues with your partner then what is the point of one? It's supposed to be you two against the world and if you can't share the hardest parts with each other then why stay?
This song and video is beautiful but also heartbreaking. The struggle and the literal pain both physical and mental Ren is enduring just destroys me 😢. BP I am sorry for your loss I can see how it still haunts you. I lost my dad when I was 12 and I still miss him. Don I truly believe you will have another chance at love. All we can do is be our true selves. Y’all are awesome! Thanks for being you! ❤❤
You mutha fuq'ers got me crying again. I have listened to this song enough times that it doesn't make me cry every time I hear it, but then you two had to go and say some real stuff that didn't just hit close to home, it hit the bullseye. So thank you and F you at the same time.
My parents were married for 63 years before my Dad passed away, they stuck together through everything and I am proud to say they are my parents, My Dad cried maybe 5 times in front of my Mom and she held him to say its ok things will work out. Never be ashamed to show all emotions we are all human
Nice reaction, guys, I could see that it impacted you both very much. BP, your dad stood by his woman until the day she died. I stood by my husband as he battled brain cancer, and I held his hand as he died. Someone told me something that gave me comfort, that my husband loved me until the day he died. ❤️😓
It's happened to me twice. I cared for my first husband for 1.5 years as he suffered terminal illness. 20 years later I cared for my second husband for the same amount of time as he battled lung cancer. I was there with them both as they died. They said I was their rock. I felt like mush but they thought of me as a rock. It's what we do for each other, it's not a male/female thing. I will say, I'm never doing it again. No more partners for me. It's been too tough.
@@Dstinii I'm so sorry you had to go through this twice. We are their rocks but we sure don't feel like it when it's happening. I'm with you on I don't ever want to go through this again with anybody else.
@BlackPegasus: I feel you and appreciate your lovely and hard memories... My Mom and Dad met and fell in love when they were 14 years old - when my Mom lost her fight against cancer after 4 heavy years, he held her hand and cried with her - after being her crutch and helping her with everything she needed help, as you describes...she died four months before her 80th birthday. This is 11 years ago but the wounds of her torture aren't healed yet and after they spent their life together - my Dad is lost in a way, we can't heal either. Their love, trust and company (allthough they had hard times and a lot of struggle with each other) give a lot of to think about and wish for... Next month is my Dads 91 birthday and now he is weak, suffering some health issues and a lot of pain - he'd like to die, but isn't "sick enough"...feel so sorry for him and can't help him or take away his pain - wish him all the best...wish he could sleep and finally find peace, like my beloved Mom did...😓
@StelFiRu Thank you for sharing 💕 I will hold this close to my heart for when my husband with terminal cancer reaches the end. I will also be there, holding his hand and remembering your words.
@@giuliettamiller2797 oh no, I'm so sorry for you and your husband. 😓 It's a devastating journey, one that we sign on for but are never ready when it happens. 🫂
Bibi Lea-Ding was his girlfriend from 2014. She raised money to send him to the US for his first treatments. She's a tattoo artist. They follow each other on socials. Unsure if still together or not.
Ren never commented on what happened with Bibi I'm sure to keep her privacy, but they were a couple. That said, we do know this was at his lowest and still had been undiagnosed. The average person could not understand that Ren's brain was being destroyed ( painfully.) He has it laced in Genisis and Sick Boi We have to respect Ren's wishes to keep some things private. HEY, who else ordered the new Sick Boi release today? Ordered 2
It is astonishing and beautiful to see the impact of Ren and his music to BP and many other people! If you went down the rabbithole with BP from the beginning you have witnessed BP, the badass rapper and great reactor, becoming BP the human with empathy who still is a badass rapper and great reactor. But in my eyes now a lot closer to the audience/viewers! BP thank you and of course Don for sharing your thoughts and emotions everytime. ❤❤❤ Much love for your families Peace and love from Germany
Absolutely spot on my friend. BP is the first "Reactor" channel I've ever subscribed to.... Found BP/Don as I discovered Ren (Patron Saint of the ill and infirm) Inviting us to be privy to BPs life is, quite simply, Brave. Love to see the growth. ❤❤❤
Top 10 Ren reaction for a Ren song that might not be in my top 10. Normally I just watch a reaction to see someone go “damn that’s dope” to justify my own opinions, but you guys actually elevated his song with this reaction, well done fellas
This is one of my favorite songs. I hate it - but I also love it. I have watched the video so many times and every time my heart breaks. Loneliness can be interpreted into so many different life circumstances - and I think we can all relate in one way or another I haven't seen your reaction yet - as I write here. I'm really looking forward to it - you two can do something very special together, so I think you'll once again deliver a fantastic conversation
A moving reaction, guys. Thank you for being so respectful of Ren’s willingness to show us his vulnerabilities. On a side note: women of substance do not find it off-putting when men display their emotions. Quite the contrary. In fact, that’s what makes Ren so relatable.
BP. I don't always agree with your views (I cringe every time you say plandemic). I stumbled across you on the Hi Ren rabbit hole and despite our differences, I stuck with you because of the way you've reacted and found inspiration through his life and songs and I don't want to add to social media's algorithm effects by blocking out anybody with differing opinions to my own. I want a balance. I've just watched this reaction and want you both to know what an incredibly powerful piece of work you have put out. I don't care if we think differently about some things, you deserve massive respect for what I've just watched. Love to you both and thank you.
So glad you guys covered this one. I absolutely love this song and it makes me cry. I cry because of having a chronic pain that I feel like I can be a burden to my hubby and I cry seeing how thin Ren was just knowing all he has gone through. The end of the video for me means she got him on his feet and even if she is gone (which Bibi and him did eventually breaking up) he is at least on his feet. BP seeing you open up like this is so touching. Lots of love to you both!
I’m going through it with my husband of 24 years. He’s MY crutch and has been for 24 years and more so the last 10. He’s starting to fray at the seams and I’m trying my damndest to step up where I can and ease the little things I can manage. It’s fecking hard to remember your partner’s struggles when you’re curled up mentally and physically in the fetal position. In moments of clarity and shame you realise you have to step up if you are exhausted or not. You have to. There’s no turning your back unless you’re a senseless, narcissistic waste of space. Honesty, vulnerability, strength of character forged in fire makes for a completely different bond between a husband and wife. My father told me when I was little that our family are not quitters. That lessons stayed with me for life. This song absolutely eviscerates me and puts me back together. It epitomises the fears that every broken soul in a relationship goes through but also acknowledges the struggles that their ‘crutch’, their partners and carers go through nd applauds them and acknowledges the damage and the fight they go through to stay or go. Beautiful songwriting and imagery and a metaphor for life. Loved you both opening up . Great reaction as always BP and Don. Cheers from Australia.
I hear that if you share with your partner you might lose your relationship and Don experienced this. But I just want to say you aren't losing, you are moving forward to find a partner that WILL be there for you in the way you need (and vice versa). You were worth more than having your pain rejected. This is a great conversation.
#Donjuanabe ..."shield them from these burdens so they don't have to carry them with me..." Maybe they would want to, because they love you. Maybe it's not an act of kindness. Maybe they would love to take on those burdens with you. After all, you just said that trying to keep their burdens light is the greatest act of love you know to do in those moments. So flip that around to their perspectives. Great reaction, great talk guys.
So anyone think that "she" wasnt the crutch it was his meds...and it just manifested as a girlfriend/lover/whatever Yes we should be able to lean on a significant other in times like this, but sometimes those ppl don't always stick around because it's extremely hard on them as well...
If nothing else, this song/video makes you THINK....makes you FEEL. Ren was at a very Dark place at this point. He was physically and mentally falling apart, with mis-diagnosis after mis-diagnosis. He was very conscious that his body was falling apart, was failing him. He was visibly getting smaller and weaker. This video was shot at the end of one of the coldest Octobers on record. He not only physically exposed himself for ALL to see, but endured the cold as well, just to shoot this video.
Everything that y’all said make me realize how lucky I am to have a wife that consoles me on my down days. I work 60-72 hours a week and there’s times where I just HATE IT and want time with my family but being the only income for my wife and 3 kids makes it hard but being the man I know what I gotta do. This song and conversation hit me, thanks for the great reaction as always. Peace and love to everyone ✌️❤
This raw, and authentic video has me bawling like a baby. BP, I'm extremely sorry for the hell your mom & ur family endured. Your mom is a warrior! My parents were married 30 yrs when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. I knew they loved each other (obviously) but i didn't realize how deep that love was until my dad was bedridden, and my mom left her job and did EVERYTHING for my father. Watching that type of love, shook me to my core, and I'll never forget her being by his side until he passed away in the living room. To know that she lost her soulmate, her best friend, the person she grew up with, breaks my heart. I was there when my dad took his last breath, i was holding his hand. That's real life stuff that sticks with you forever. My perspective on life changed and i choose, like you and Don, to find the beauty in the struggle. Much love as always ❤️
Ren's videos/songs are very thought provoking and result in much needed discussions.... from which, other people learn as they get to understand another perspective. But the real question is....was she ever there in the first place?? Did he truly lose her or is he simply voicing his fears?? Loved the reaction and the chat that it provoked. Much love from the UK xx
If a crutch is used for too long it will break! Some days I can only give 10% so hubby gives 90%, the next day maybe he can do 20% so I give 80%, and some days we both give 110%. 44 years together and still in love can't be bad. Huge respect to you both guys, you are helping so many with Ren's music ❤️ and your honesty/chats are so refreshing, keep up the amazing work xxx
What a beautiful reaction ❤. You should be allowed to be open with your partner, male or female, and be supported. This song always hits hard, being someone whose partner left during my toughest time and I had to survive without that support. Thanks for being you ❤❤
Wow, wow you guys I’m so glad you show your emotions. I’m going to tell you my story. I have 5 siblings, we grew up in forties and fifties. Totally different era , the one you talk about often, the lines were clear husband was the provider the protecter , the wives were the home makers the guardians of the souls the peace makers. I lost my husband of 52 years 7 years ago. Call me old fashioned, but I wanted and needed that strength that he provided. There were times in our marriage when ups and downs, but we were real partners in every sense, if he was down I lifted him up and vice versa . It is possible to have that kind of relationship even today, just really be honest with each other. With the one, nothing I mean nothing was off limits to share, even if we were uncomfortable for a moment. And by the way my siblings are all still married 65-63-60-60, I would of been 59 and my brother 53 . I know it’s unheard of now a days. But it’s possible. I pray for the young couples of today. BP and Don much love and respect from Great Grandma ❤️❤️❤️👵🏼
As a woman who has four brothers, I feel as though i have never believed in my heart that a man showing his emotions is a weakness. Are all of his emotions a weakness or just fear and sorrow ? I really appreciated hearing from men's perspectives . I do feel that feeling the need to protect your spouse from your fears lest she is overwhelmed by them is understandable, but this means that she won't fully know you . And at some point may be blind sided by what you are feeling. Also sometimes we just might surprise you. . I also to not want to negate the reality that many women are confused about what a "REAL" man is . This is definitely a nuanced, and complex conversation. The video is fire . For at least the first 5 times i watched it i cried . Even as a woman I have worried about not being well physically and emotionally in front of loved ones for fear of being a burden ( i have struggled with cronic pain ) .Unfortunately there is often a sense of shame attached. That is a whole nother conversation . Thank you so much for opening up about how many men are feeling on this subject , and BP i am sorry to here about your moms' battle with cancer , and i was very moved to hear about how you Dad stuck with her in the trenches. There is so much to learn from your parents lives and Love . Thank you again , this time for sharing a very personal story with us .
The red pill is BULLSHIT!! Who wants a woman who gets disgusted by a crying emoji from a guy. It's a fricken human emotion & a relationship is built on support & supporting someone you know better than anyone in your life. You can still be a tough manly man to the rest of the world. Don I love your comments & you always make me smile!! CROTCH 😂 Trust my 50 years & 25 happily married self -show your mate your true self. Relationships that last don't survive on anything else!!
GOOD NEWS GUYS! The story behind this video is actually a GOOD one. Bibi did date Ren. If you look at the beginning of the video he’s laying on the ground. In real life, she got him to stand up again. Even though they broke up, she supported him helped raise money so that he could get treatment. She got him on his feet again. In a relationship, you should be able to go back-and-forth, when one partner is down the other can be there for them and vice versa. If a woman can’t handle you at your worst, she cannot have you at your best. She’s not entitled to it!!! In my opinion, there’s nothing stronger than a man that is not a shamed or a bashed at sharing his weaknesses or crying! People don’t realize that a marriage takes work. They give up too soon. Throw it out like a used tissue. If you really take your vows seriously that means you have to put in the work you’re not just gonna have happiness all your life just as you’re not gonna have happiness throughout your marriage. You deserve to find a partner that thinks this way and put it into practice.
Love to you both ❤❤❤ 🥺 Hopefully we are escaping the stereotype that Man is protector and Woman will look down for showing vulnerability. Amazing heart wrenching song and what a breath of fresh air listening to you both open up. Thank you guys xx
Thank you both for being so open and honest with us and strong men share their joy, love and fears. We have emotions for a reason and they need to be expressed and processed to not cause internal trauma. Personaly, I look for a man who can be his true self in any situation and share all aspects of his life with me. Thats what love is to me, acceptance, understanding, respect and openness in good times and bad. You are a team and togheter you stand strong against whatever life might throw at you. I am still looking for that person, thought I had found him but I was mistaken. Mistakes are what we learn from and I know there is someone out there for me, I just have not found that person yet... I must not forget, We must not forget, that we are human beings ❤
Black P and Don’s stories literally melted my heart before walking in to work ugh people are gonna think me and the wife are fighting I’m so teary eyed lol. What an amazing song and conversation oh my God ❤
A powerfully emotional song. Had this broke in the 90's it would have gone straight to the top. Much love BP, you've had a lot of struggle and it's made you a strong man. Don, suck it up! (jk)
Ive been with my fiance for 14yrs and I want him to tell me what he's feeling and not bottle it up. It has never disgusted me when he's cried in front of me... I know he's my rock and everyone needs to let things out.
Wish i could love this so many more times than the 1 time. You both gave this your everything. I appreciate you both for not just the reaction but the honesty you both shared. Thank you i was riveted. ❤
Wow as i woman all i can say is your ex is a b*tch...sorry 🤷♀️🤬 I personally find it a huge turn on when a man is willing to be vulnerable and imo you should never change your true self for ANYONE! some men are mens men and some just arent and both are fine....just find the right woman.... theres definitely enough of us out there! 😏❤️ Also sorry for tour loss ....my mum also go breast cancer age 43 and she fought it for 5 years before it went to her bones (extremely painful) and finally her liver and she died aged 48 when i was just 22 so i know exactly how u feel x ❤️
As a mother of 3 boys and wife of a man who suffers with his mental health, this conversation needs to be had more often. Bringing males up to have the comfortable space to bare their souls without fear of rejection in a world where we are conditioned to be strong and silent is not an easy gig. They have the benefit of a father who is willing to show them that still waters run deep. Much love to you both for doing this reaction. It's a beautifully sad song about vulnerability that shouldn't be a burden for ourselves to carry alone but often it is.
When I was 25 (I'll be 43 in 4 days), I married someone who was 40, and I barely knew. We met, fell in love quickly, and eloped. We got married on September 25th. On October 25th, exactly one month to the day later, he had a grand mal seizure. It sent his heart into an irregular rhythm, which then caused full cardiac arrest. He was technically dead for 13 minutes. I did CPR waiting for the ambulance, and when they finally arrived, they had to shock him 3 times before they got a heartbeat. They put him in a medically induced coma and told me that the brain damage would be too great *if* he woke up. At best, he would be in a vegetative state. A shell of who he was. His mom and dad rushed to our city, and they sat me down on our couch and told me I should leave him. "You're only 25. You don't need to be changing his diapers and being his caretaker at such a young age." They meant well, but I told them there was no chance I'd be going anywhere. His sweet mom smiled and said, "I hoped you'd say that." He woke up and basically became a medical miracle, but sadly, he did end up with brain damage that affected his personality. He became cruel and violent, especially toward my 3 year old. That's when I had to leave. It was around 7 months after his release from the hospital. From what I understand, he's back to his old self. He's happy in a new relationship, as am I. We were brought together so his (then) 14 year old son wouldn't have to live without his dad. My purpose in his life was solely October 25th, and I'm ok with that. Our lives now are happy, fulfilled, and beautiful. I'm honored to have been a part of his (and his beautiful family) life. It wasn't his fault that he became violent. It was literal brain damage. But I had to protect my child. I will always protect my children above all else. I hope he's doing well now. He deserves happiness and peace. I hated that I had to leave, but even his parents agreed that I needed to. Such beautiful, loving people.
Crutch has brought out so many different thoughts and feelings in every person I have spoken to about it. It means something different to everyone. Different perspectives, different life experiences. This is really special!✌❤
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this one, I guess I'm from a different place but I practically beg my partner to open up to me but I can see the fear that I may think he's weak which is far from the truth much love guys x
Guys, I love you. As humans, I just love you. ❤ I've been following your channel for a little while now, and I always look for your reactions because they're fun. This is my favorite reaction of yours to date. Hands down. The humanity of it. It's just... thank you. We lost our 3 year old on the tail end of me nearly losing my own life. I don't have to wonder what caliber man I have. I KNOW. He helped me when I couldn't walk, talk, eat, toilet, bathe, or even breathe by myself. He stuck with me through all of it. And just when we thought we were on the steady road to recovery, the day I came home from the hospital, we lost our son violently. I know he shields me from the full force of his grief. He leans on me... but only to a degree. He allows me to fully open up the bottomless chasm of pain, but releases from himself only enough of his personal torture to make sure I know it's there and that he identifies. There are times I feel like he's sort of closed off from me. I wish I could peek behind that door and see the depths. He allows me to look through the keyhole but not open it. He walks that fine line you both described, of wanting to collapse into my arms but also wanting to be the strong arms that hold me. Again. Thank you. You described something I know he struggles with. And I know he does it for me, for our children. I have a GOOD man. You guys are good men, too. You have a lot of integrity, personal growth, and desire to BE the right kind of guy.
I admire you guys so much for the deep and honest conversations you can have depending on what you’re reacting to. This makes your channel so valuable! Thank you for all you do. ❤
Sharing a few tears with you both. Big hugs to you BP because I know what it is like to have a one and a million mom. Then when Don said, I will be your crutch because I believe in you, was like a much-needed therapy session. I thought I had found my soul mate, but that wasn't the case. Much love to you guys, Ren, & Bibi for giving us a place to chat about our real emotions.
BP, you made me cry. You're a beautiful human. In my experience, in a relationship the need for support fluctuates between partners. There's no "correct" ratio. It may be that one partner, absolutely doing their very best, needs the ongoing massive support of the other. And it can be incredibly hard on the supporting partner, yes. That person may simply not be up to the task (which has been my personal experience -- I've not had that kind of support myself), but I still think it's an individual characterological issue and independent of a person's gender. We're all imperfect humans, as Ren has observed, and some are just too wounded to be there for others beyond a certain depth. Wonderful discussion, guys.
Guys, great reaction to this moving song. It reminds me of a similar 'women trying to console her man' song, who's going through hell is Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush - Don't Give Up. Also a great song worth reacting to.
Baby if I lose my mind, would you stay with me. No. This hits me like a train every time I watch it. No. She didn't in my case and it's painful to be taken back to the flood of despair 20 plus years ago. Yet another musical gem from this gifted artist we're so lucky to have known.
Just to let you know .not all women leave .my hubby has ptsd due to being in the forces and I would no more leave him than cut of my arm. We've been together 45 yrs. Just to let you know. But seems people don't work at relationships anymore.❤🏴👍✌️👊I mean no bad feelings to anyone just what I do. You both deserve all you want. Sorry if I said something out of order.
Don, if your ex is so selfish that she "can't deal" with your emotional self....... Ex is exactly what she should be..... It's the Lover and the Beloved..... Meaning all solid relationships have BOTH partners being Beloved by the other whilst also loving the other.. If one person is doing ALL the loving, they are not Be-Loved ❤
Been dreading to watch this one, think that is why Dom is making jokes at the start. Knowing something is coming... A really brave reaction Boyz 💜. @Dom opening up is scary and being smacked like that is horrible! I am sorry this happened to you. As a woman, when you both are caring when the other partner needs it, you can share this with each other. Man or Woman can be the crutch. Both need to protect right? But true, if women first say you need to open up and then go backtracking onto stereotypical gender roles, it's just plain stupid imo.😑🤦♀️. That last image keeps hunting me.. Even when you ask.. It's gone. For those that been there, it hits so hard. I had to break up with my long term boyfriend eventually. I couldn't put him through, what I now know a decade later, another manic episode of mine. Losing your mind is just horrible and knowing what it will do with the one you love is terrifying. Thank you Robert and Dom. Loving you Boyz 💜💜💜💜 Big Hugs!
A lot of Ren’s music I connect to for too many reasons. I’ve literally come back from the doctors 20 minutes ago. Stress / depression. It’s causing serious health problems, I’ve been struggling to breathe for weeks, and that’s causing it. I live in Japan with my wife. I’m only here for my son. I’m incredibly unhappy and depressed. You can’t speak to Japanese women about anything like this. They ‘do not’ want to hear it. Hell, Japanese society covers this sh¥t up like crazy. It’s unhealthy. Haven’t spoken to my wife, as in actually talking or interacting for almost a year. The art of living without living. Come to Japan for a holiday, the best experience ever, but never live here, never, it’s not worth it. Now I need to make my own crutch or keep dragging myself across the floor like Ren. Being a man, shut up, go to work, earn money etc. I even do cleaning, washing, cooking etc. I do more housework on top of a full time job in Japan than most Japanese men would ever do after a full days work. The wife still hates me because I don’t care about money….
He has a couple of songs that kinda follow on from this; "Penitence" and "Precious". Penitence feels like it is 2 or 3 weeks after a breakup. It is as raw as fresh carpet burn; brilliant lyrics, amazing rapping, beautiful, ethereal vocals from Molly McKinna. "Precious" feels like it is 6 or 9 months after breakup. Beautiful melody, lovely simple lyrics, kinda wistful feel. It could be about breaking up with a partner, or the death of a loved one. The wordplay and lyricism in Penitence is more impressive, but there is something in Precious that really gets me in the feels; have a kleenex ready.
Are you referring to the song Patience and not penitence? Patience is the song he sings when he is about 21 yrs old and was misdiagnosed as having chronic fatigue also known as ME in the uk and Ren featured in a documentary about people with ME called Unrest and he wrote and performed the theme song Patience .
I wish you guys would read Ren's notes under the video. Women who think men shouldn't show emotion are ridiculous. If I hear..."as a man..." one more time..... The roles you attribute to men and women are really old fashioned, sexist, and mysonagistic sometimes. I like you guys, but this "man in charge" thing is tiring.
I don't think you can generalise about all women (or all men, for that matter). Incels seem to do that with women, and most of what they say is rubbish. As a female, I wouldn't be either turned on or off by the sight of a man crying. Sex wouldn't even enter my head at a moment like that. I'd be concerned and wondering if I could help at all, if I saw anyone (male or female) crying. It doesn't turn me off if I see a crying emoji posted by a man. I think it is healthy to openly express emotions. Far too many men end up losing their lives to suicide because of the stigma around expressing emotions and seeking help if depressed. I respect men who are open, who communicate and who are not scared to show feelings, even if those feelings are sad emotions that trigger tears. A bloke who feels that they have to be a rock and hide their emotions behind a mask is a person carrying a huge weight....he's not being fair to himself or to those around him - if he puts up a wall, it's very hard for others to reach over that wall and help him. There's nothing more frustrating than being in a relationship with someone you know is hurting, and they just refuse to open up or have a conversation.....you want to help but their pride won't let them take the help. Interesting that Don says that he feels he needs to shield his wife and kid from financial issues etc. I'd say that by all means shield children from that kind of thing, but a wife/girlfriend is an adult too, and she doesn't need to be shielded, she needs to be involved, so decisions are made jointly.
This was an incredible conversation to hear. There is so much nuance in the male/female dynamic. Typical gender roles were pushed really hard in my house growing up. Women are weaker, emotional and need taken care of while men are strong and not allowed to show feelings other than anger? WTF? It didn't make any sense to little kid me and it makes even less sense now. Honestly, it made me think relationships were intolerable, boring and everyone was just playing the parts they were supposed to as deemed by society. If everyone is just playing their "role", then how can you believe anything they do or say? It makes the world feel scripted and predictable. Being completely authentic and vulnerable with someone is really hard and takes bravery but if that's not what you're doing, what is the point?
And one more... I have a theory about dating and why it's a trope that dating is a horrible experience of constantly finding crazy people. We're all crazy. And when we're dating we're trying to find someone who is the same kind of crazy or at least a compatible crazy.
The key word is "partner". If my husband is struggling and keeps it to himself, I can't help him see the parts he's missing because he's too overwhelmed or in the thick of things to catch. I can help troubleshoot and problem-solve with him. I get so frustrated when I'm locked out and then I find out what the problem was and I had the answer all along. Let your partner be your partner. If that's not who they want to be, find someone better. Be worthy of someone better.
I share everything with my wife. We have such a deep connection that we can share the most sincere or disturbing thoughts of our psyche. To me, if you can’t share your full self with someone, they aren’t worth it. Tears don’t make you less of a man. Awesome song. Thanks for your honesty and deep insights. ❤
For me a man being vulnerable is actually a measure of his strength. And yes seeing your loved ones hurt, hurts but that doesn't mean they cant support you.Its a partnership. I see a lot of superficiality in the world and it saddens me because they are missing out the best oart of a relationship which is love, not justvwhat each other can bring in terms of wealth for example. But i have to find compassion for those people because they too are a victim of their upbringing. The greatest legacy you can give your kids is to allow vulnerability. Let them see Daddy cry because she then learns empathy when men need it later in her life, as well as seeing his warrior spirit. She learns balance then. Too many time we consider wealth, career, status as requirements when we should consider kindess, humility and love, because imo they are the greater assets. Thanks for being vulnerable guys and Don, there are great girls out there, just keep your heart open ❤
As a husband and a dad, it's hard to show that side of you, always the rock. I have very supportive wife, but we had a moment, recently, where we were going through a family issue with my wife's dad and while I know she was having a very hard time dealing, so was I as a lot of it fell on me. At one point when I vented, she broke down and it turned into a shouting match until I told her that I'm allowed to break down too. It was all good after that. Still the rock when it's important.
This is where Ren shows some of his The Artist formaly known as Prince Style and Don was right on point. being inlove is not a firendship in ways. My girl left me 6 months after I got sick but I never truly got that sick. True love is YEAH I will be your crutch if you ever get sick I will be there till the end of end. that is true love and most do no0t know it never had it and never will.
Yo guys. This reaction hitted me different. I'm sitting here in silence 10 minutes after this vid was done. Thank you. For a moment, I felt so recognised as a man. For a moment, able to allow emotion without feeling alone. You must be great friends to have irl. Seriously, thank you. Didn't know I needed this, but I did. So uhm, Pegasus, I feel you completely, i wouldn't be comfortable at all either showing this to a camera. But know that you did help at least one person here. You both did.
Here is what Ren has said about this song/video:
1) "This was shot with no budget at the end of a frickin ' freezing October, felt like I was going to get hypothermia lying on cold slate for a few hours, serious case of mind over matter but so happy with how it turned out :) The song came about after a nervous breakdown following lots of visits to emergency room after some scary health problems. It's a song for anybody who has faced any kind of mental challenges, depression, anxiety, or health struggles while in a relationship and all the fears that come along for the ride with that. It is also a song for the courageous and wonderful people who support their other halves, family or friends during times of crisis :) In whatever context I hope my music can help take some of the weight from anyone suffering and help people feel less alone."
2) "This song is probably my favorite from the first ever album I put out
It's called crutch.
Weeks before I wrote this I had come out of multiple visits to the emergency room, I didn't know I had lyme disease yet and thought I was loosing my mind. To be transparent I was really scared being this sick, frail, crazy person would make me unlovable. My girlfriend Bibi at the time had been witnessing some of the hardest things I went through, and I was really scared it would push her away. I wanted to write something which put my fears to music, and this song was the end result.
We filmed this during a cold October, when I was very underweight, but I wanted the video to be exposing, not shying away from the parts of me that repulsed myself. I think thats whats really powerful about art, it doens't always have to be comfortable, and sometimes the things we think are really ugly, can be alchemised into something that contains beauty."
So at the end when she disappeared, was he scared she'd not be their in the end, or wasn't she ever really there and he was imaging her being there
@@smokedog2185 My interpretation, based on what he said above, is that she was there and then disappeared, because the song represents his fear that he would lose her. To me, imagining her doesn't seem consistent with what he said here.
@@sharoncarlisle9453 so the girl singing in the song was his girl at the time but split up after this
@@sharoncarlisle9453 tbh the only reason a thought she could've never really been their, just in his head, cos how he still holds his hands up to her face after she disappears like she could've just been in his head all along, then at end just to show us she did end up leaving him when things got bad
@@smokedog2185 I think the video is vague enough to leave room for the listener's interpretation, so who knows. As far as real life goes, I don't know anything about why they didn't stay together. Ren has not shared that, which I think is a good thing. I do know that Biibi set up and ran the go fund me to help raise the money for his stem cell procedure, so it seems like she was around for awhile after this song.
This channel is what MTV should have become. In depth music analysis with real life chat. Amazing stuff🔥
Couldn't agree more with you!!!!!
Well said!
On point 😂
We had Beavis and Butthead do this in the 90s...
Amen
Woman in the chat here. For me, personally, vulnerability is strength. Honesty is strength. Accepting help is strength. There's also a fine line between being supportive of someone and being swallowed up for someone. BOTH partners need support when one person is struggling so deeply but it's worth it. We're all human. Loved this reaction and discussion. As a woman it was great hearing your perspective and personal experiences.
second that
Amen 😊
💯 If you can't be completely honest with your partner, you're with the wrong partner.
Yep. Male/female inter-relationships vary. Men who always present as a rock, attract women who expect and need that. They aren't being selfish, they're living out the script their parents gave them. Speaking for myself, I wouldn't get involved with a man who thought he needed to "take the lead" and "shield" me. The minute I sniffed that out, I was gone, because it implies a man who CAN'T share, and who can't be vulnerable.
If you START by sharing, you'll find a woman who values it. That doesn't mean first date, but at the first appropriate serious moment. And those moments are always there, but usually get buried under bravado.
yes 🙌
Finally! One of my absolute favourites. Just stunning. It’s such a perfect expression of agony in lyrics, voice, music, and even the video. Breathtaking and heart wrenching.
Totally agree 💐
Yes! And fear. 😢
Also I see it this way, She was there for him as long as she could without being taken down herself. She didn't leave until he was on his feet.
I think that’s a very optimistic take.
Absolutely. Him standing on his own 2 feet at the end is definitely intentional
Agree, this is very optimistic. She was never there.
I know from previous videos that you probably debated whether to post this one, just wanted to say huge props to you on putting this out there and opening up. Both you guys should take great pride in what you’re doing and sharing so much with those of us who have found the channel, great reaction guys and I love the funny ones and they always make me laugh but these ones are powerful!
Thanks for opening up BP. Emotions are one of the things that make us human. We should never feel ashamed of showing others how we feel. If we dont then were hiding who we truly are from the people we love.
this content is fast turning into the best music magazine on the web, love the variety especially your exploring outside hip hop
It's a shame that society has made our men shut down. When my husband and I thought our beautiful pet, Brio, our Australian shepherd, was going to die of cancer, he cried in front of me and it gave me a deeper respect and love for him. I felt more connected to him than ever before. Thank you BP for showing your underbelly much respect!
Yes Bibi is Ren’s ex. There is an interview (article) online that you can find where it mentions it. Bibi created Ren’s first GoFundMe.
Yes, if you Google "Ren and Bibi, Sussex Tab" you will find it
Yes , her effort meant Ren could go to Germany and finally get a diagnosis of Lyme disease and start on the journey of a stem cell transplant which turned his life around back to the land of the living .
The conversation between you guys was immense and real and raw. Real friendship. Thank you for letting us share it.
This is for your mum, BP🌹🙏 xxx
I love you black p. You're the fucking man dude.
You helping me let out my emotions while you do it.
Thank you
you found the tear jerker at last, I just wanted to wrap Ren up in a blanket when I first saw this one
If you can't show your weakness in front of your partner without judgement, you're with the wrong partner or perhaps you underestimate your partner. A good cry can be very healing male or female!
Your Mum sounds amazing ❤❤ Your Dad too.
I’d recommend never, ever exposing yourself to any woman to that extent.
It won’t fix anything and it will sooner or later just bring trouble and that trouble will be double.
@@supertuscans9512very sad that you feel that way. You must've had some real shitty women in your life. I can assure you there are plenty who will stand by their man at his weakest point just like in this video, I hope someday you come across the lady who changes your mind 💜
I’m content with fun but disposable.
@@supertuscans9512 wow 🙄 sooooo you're the problem, gotcha 👍
@@supertuscans9512 Jesus! If you're not trolling i genuinely feel bad for you. I don't feel sorry for you because it sounds like you don't deserve sympathy... So i just feel bad for you that you think like that.
It's incredible how much emotion Ren's music evokes, and how differently everyone interprets it. Really love the conversation between you two and how I (we) get to know you. Huge hug to you both❤.
Wow, not sure if it's a cultural thing but women in Europe are very open to showing emotional support, but friends from Africa and Asia have a similar story to you guys and feel a need to be strong for their women. Not sure which is right or wrong tho
I think Don's got it right. There's limits to everything. You can have a crutch, but you can't fall over and expect to be held up by a person who also has their own things to deal with.
Hmm, i don't know about that. I feel like i can fall on my partner and she will (and has) propped me up) but the same goes/went the other way.
In a strong relationship where both people have shit to deal with it's not "i can't support you because i have my own shit to deal with". It's "Thank you for supporting me with this, i got you when you need me to prop you up".
So glad you got to the takeaways you did at the end. The whole “red pill” tip you were talking about initially feels like it is just a caricature of real life and real people and real relationships. I really resonate with everything you were talking about toward the end. As a woman in a relationship with my husband starting very young and lasting over 20 years now, and witnessing all kinds of frailty, and tears, and emotions, and fears in my husband, I can say that not all women are scared away by that. Can it be scary? Yes. But it all comes down to trust. I have to trust my husband enough to know that him expressing his fears and sadness to me does not mean he’s crumbling and will abandon me or destroy himself, and he has to trust me that showing me his fear and sadness won’t freak me out so much that I run away. And it goes both ways. I highly recommend therapy. Both of us have had extensive individual therapy and we’ve also done couples therapy. It can really help. Because before you can put that kind of trust in someone else, you have to first learn to trust yourself. And that is the root of it all.
Yes, it is so important to love, and trust yourself first, because we are the only ones that can make us happy
If you can't share those issues with your partner then what is the point of one? It's supposed to be you two against the world and if you can't share the hardest parts with each other then why stay?
I am sorry, a man who can cry sometime is a true strong man!
This song and video is beautiful but also heartbreaking. The struggle and the literal pain both physical and mental Ren is enduring just destroys me 😢. BP I am sorry for your loss I can see how it still haunts you. I lost my dad when I was 12 and I still miss him. Don I truly believe you will have another chance at love. All we can do is be our true selves. Y’all are awesome! Thanks for being you! ❤❤
You mutha fuq'ers got me crying again. I have listened to this song enough times that it doesn't make me cry every time I hear it, but then you two had to go and say some real stuff that didn't just hit close to home, it hit the bullseye. So thank you and F you at the same time.
Yeah fuq you BP and Don…how dare you open up and share just to make me cry!!! Top reaction..top comment
@rbbea Lol. I know, right?
My parents were married for 63 years before my Dad passed away, they stuck together through everything and I am proud to say they are my parents, My Dad cried maybe 5 times in front of my Mom and she held him to say its ok things will work out. Never be ashamed to show all emotions we are all human
This... time is what builds a relationship!
Nice reaction, guys, I could see that it impacted you both very much. BP, your dad stood by his woman until the day she died. I stood by my husband as he battled brain cancer, and I held his hand as he died. Someone told me something that gave me comfort, that my husband loved me until the day he died. ❤️😓
It's happened to me twice. I cared for my first husband for 1.5 years as he suffered terminal illness. 20 years later I cared for my second husband for the same amount of time as he battled lung cancer. I was there with them both as they died. They said I was their rock. I felt like mush but they thought of me as a rock. It's what we do for each other, it's not a male/female thing. I will say, I'm never doing it again. No more partners for me. It's been too tough.
@@Dstinii I'm so sorry you had to go through this twice. We are their rocks but we sure don't feel like it when it's happening. I'm with you on I don't ever want to go through this again with anybody else.
@BlackPegasus: I feel you and appreciate your lovely and hard memories...
My Mom and Dad met and fell in love when they were 14 years old - when my Mom lost her fight against cancer after 4 heavy years, he held her hand and cried with her - after being her crutch and helping her with everything she needed help, as you describes...she died four months before her 80th birthday. This is 11 years ago but the wounds of her torture aren't healed yet and after they spent their life together - my Dad is lost in a way, we can't heal either.
Their love, trust and company (allthough they had hard times and a lot of struggle with each other) give a lot of to think about and wish for... Next month is my Dads 91 birthday and now he is weak, suffering some health issues and a lot of pain - he'd like to die, but isn't "sick enough"...feel so sorry for him and can't help him or take away his pain - wish him all the best...wish he could sleep and finally find peace, like my beloved Mom did...😓
@StelFiRu Thank you for sharing 💕 I will hold this close to my heart for when my husband with terminal cancer reaches the end. I will also be there, holding his hand and remembering your words.
@@giuliettamiller2797 oh no, I'm so sorry for you and your husband. 😓 It's a devastating journey, one that we sign on for but are never ready when it happens. 🫂
Bibi Lea-Ding was his girlfriend from 2014. She raised money to send him to the US for his first treatments. She's a tattoo artist. They follow each other on socials. Unsure if still together or not.
Ren never commented on what happened with Bibi I'm sure to keep her privacy, but they were a couple. That said, we do know this was at his lowest and still had been undiagnosed. The average person could not understand that Ren's brain was being destroyed ( painfully.) He has it laced in Genisis and Sick Boi We have to respect Ren's wishes to keep some things private. HEY, who else ordered the new Sick Boi release today? Ordered 2
We did, looking forward to it arriving
Ordered mine! Got the "Classified" limited edition. First album I've bought in probably 20 years!
It is astonishing and beautiful to see the impact of Ren and his music to BP and many other people! If you went down the rabbithole with BP from the beginning you have witnessed BP, the badass rapper and great reactor, becoming BP the human with empathy who still is a badass rapper and great reactor. But in my eyes now a lot closer to the audience/viewers!
BP thank you and of course Don for sharing your thoughts and emotions everytime. ❤❤❤
Much love for your families
Peace and love from Germany
Absolutely spot on my friend. BP is the first "Reactor" channel I've ever subscribed to....
Found BP/Don as I discovered Ren (Patron Saint of the ill and infirm) Inviting us to be privy to BPs life is, quite simply, Brave.
Love to see the growth. ❤❤❤
Top 10 Ren reaction for a Ren song that might not be in my top 10. Normally I just watch a reaction to see someone go “damn that’s dope” to justify my own opinions, but you guys actually elevated his song with this reaction, well done fellas
This is one of my favorite songs. I hate it - but I also love it. I have watched the video so many times and every time my heart breaks. Loneliness can be interpreted into so many different life circumstances - and I think we can all relate in one way or another
I haven't seen your reaction yet - as I write here. I'm really looking forward to it - you two can do something very special together, so I think you'll once again deliver a fantastic conversation
There’s nothing sexier than a man that shows vulnerability and can shed a tear❤️
A moving reaction, guys. Thank you for being so respectful of Ren’s willingness to show us his vulnerabilities. On a side note: women of substance do not find it off-putting when men display their emotions. Quite the contrary. In fact, that’s what makes Ren so relatable.
BP. I don't always agree with your views (I cringe every time you say plandemic). I stumbled across you on the Hi Ren rabbit hole and despite our differences, I stuck with you because of the way you've reacted and found inspiration through his life and songs and I don't want to add to social media's algorithm effects by blocking out anybody with differing opinions to my own. I want a balance.
I've just watched this reaction and want you both to know what an incredibly powerful piece of work you have put out. I don't care if we think differently about some things, you deserve massive respect for what I've just watched. Love to you both and thank you.
So glad you guys covered this one. I absolutely love this song and it makes me cry. I cry because of having a chronic pain that I feel like I can be a burden to my hubby and I cry seeing how thin Ren was just knowing all he has gone through. The end of the video for me means she got him on his feet and even if she is gone (which Bibi and him did eventually breaking up) he is at least on his feet. BP seeing you open up like this is so touching. Lots of love to you both!
Correct on both counts BP, Bibi and Ren dated and he plays keys on here, the video is what I love it's so amazing.
This is one of hardest videos for me to watch...It's always a punch to the gut .. ALWAYS
This song and video by Ren and Bibi is a work of ART!
This song is great! And I feckin hate it, I normally avoid this track at all costs but here to support you and the channel.
Great episode! REALLY loved how Don opened up. You guys are so awesome. Thank you soooo much for all the great content! ❤️❤️❤️
I’m going through it with my husband of 24 years. He’s MY crutch and has been for 24 years and more so the last 10. He’s starting to fray at the seams and I’m trying my damndest to step up where I can and ease the little things I can manage. It’s fecking hard to remember your partner’s struggles when you’re curled up mentally and physically in the fetal position. In moments of clarity and shame you realise you have to step up if you are exhausted or not. You have to. There’s no turning your back unless you’re a senseless, narcissistic waste of space. Honesty, vulnerability, strength of character forged in fire makes for a completely different bond between a husband and wife. My father told me when I was little that our family are not quitters. That lessons stayed with me for life. This song absolutely eviscerates me and puts me back together. It epitomises the fears that every broken soul in a relationship goes through but also acknowledges the struggles that their ‘crutch’, their partners and carers go through nd applauds them and acknowledges the damage and the fight they go through to stay or go. Beautiful songwriting and imagery and a metaphor for life. Loved you both opening up . Great reaction as always BP and Don. Cheers from Australia.
I hear that if you share with your partner you might lose your relationship and Don experienced this. But I just want to say you aren't losing, you are moving forward to find a partner that WILL be there for you in the way you need (and vice versa). You were worth more than having your pain rejected. This is a great conversation.
#Donjuanabe
..."shield them from these burdens so they don't have to carry them with me..."
Maybe they would want to, because they love you. Maybe it's not an act of kindness. Maybe they would love to take on those burdens with you. After all, you just said that trying to keep their burdens light is the greatest act of love you know to do in those moments. So flip that around to their perspectives.
Great reaction, great talk guys.
my mum won twice but lost in the rematch age 43, I have memories that I run from like a coward yet others I cherish, I feel you brother ❤🩹
So anyone think that "she" wasnt the crutch it was his meds...and it just manifested as a girlfriend/lover/whatever
Yes we should be able to lean on a significant other in times like this, but sometimes those ppl don't always stick around because it's extremely hard on them as well...
I thought the same thing, That it could be both or either - I agree with the rest too.
If nothing else, this song/video makes you THINK....makes you FEEL. Ren was at a very Dark place at this point. He was physically and mentally falling apart, with mis-diagnosis after mis-diagnosis. He was very conscious that his body was falling apart, was failing him. He was visibly getting smaller and weaker. This video was shot at the end of one of the coldest Octobers on record. He not only physically exposed himself for ALL to see, but endured the cold as well, just to shoot this video.
Everything that y’all said make me realize how lucky I am to have a wife that consoles me on my down days. I work 60-72 hours a week and there’s times where I just HATE IT and want time with my family but being the only income for my wife and 3 kids makes it hard but being the man I know what I gotta do. This song and conversation hit me, thanks for the great reaction as always. Peace and love to everyone ✌️❤
This raw, and authentic video has me bawling like a baby. BP, I'm extremely sorry for the hell your mom & ur family endured. Your mom is a warrior! My parents were married 30 yrs when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. I knew they loved each other (obviously) but i didn't realize how deep that love was until my dad was bedridden, and my mom left her job and did EVERYTHING for my father. Watching that type of love, shook me to my core, and I'll never forget her being by his side until he passed away in the living room. To know that she lost her soulmate, her best friend, the person she grew up with, breaks my heart. I was there when my dad took his last breath, i was holding his hand. That's real life stuff that sticks with you forever. My perspective on life changed and i choose, like you and Don, to find the beauty in the struggle. Much love as always ❤️
Ren's videos/songs are very thought provoking and result in much needed discussions.... from which, other people learn as they get to understand another perspective. But the real question is....was she ever there in the first place?? Did he truly lose her or is he simply voicing his fears??
Loved the reaction and the chat that it provoked. Much love from the UK xx
I'm so sorry guys I hear pain in you both! I hope you both have or find relationships that give you that crutch. Thanks for opening up you guys xxx
Yay!!!!! So excited Been waiting for this one. It's one of my faves. Beautiful video and beautiful song.
Thanks for getting to Crutch, one of his best.
If a crutch is used for too long it will break! Some days I can only give 10% so hubby gives 90%, the next day maybe he can do 20% so I give 80%, and some days we both give 110%. 44 years together and still in love can't be bad. Huge respect to you both guys, you are helping so many with Ren's music ❤️ and your honesty/chats are so refreshing, keep up the amazing work xxx
What a beautiful reaction ❤. You should be allowed to be open with your partner, male or female, and be supported. This song always hits hard, being someone whose partner left during my toughest time and I had to survive without that support. Thanks for being you ❤❤
Wow, wow you guys I’m so glad you show your emotions. I’m going to tell you my story. I have 5 siblings, we grew up in forties and fifties. Totally different era , the one you talk about often, the lines were clear husband was the provider the protecter , the wives were the home makers the guardians of the souls the peace makers. I lost my husband of 52 years 7 years ago. Call me old fashioned, but I wanted and needed that strength that he provided. There were times in our marriage when ups and downs, but we were real partners in every sense, if he was down I lifted him up and vice versa . It is possible to have that kind of relationship even today, just really be honest with each other. With the one, nothing I mean nothing was off limits to share, even if we were uncomfortable for a moment. And by the way my siblings are all still married 65-63-60-60, I would of been 59 and my brother 53 . I know it’s unheard of now a days. But it’s possible. I pray for the young couples of today. BP and Don much love and respect from Great Grandma ❤️❤️❤️👵🏼
This is the best reaction I have seen for this song yet. Thank you guys for what you do.
One of my favourites,Beautiful and Hearbreaking❤❤❤ We love you Ren ❤️❤️❤️Thanks B.P and Don x
If you read the description on the actual video, it does give you context ❤
As a woman who has four brothers, I feel as though i have never believed in my heart that a man showing his emotions is a weakness. Are all of his emotions a weakness or just fear and sorrow ?
I really appreciated hearing from men's perspectives . I do feel that feeling the need to protect your spouse from your fears lest she is overwhelmed by them is understandable, but this means that she won't fully know you . And at some point may be blind sided by what you are feeling. Also sometimes we just might surprise you. . I also to not want to negate the reality that many women are confused about what a "REAL" man is . This is definitely a nuanced, and complex conversation. The video is fire . For at least the first 5 times i watched it i cried . Even as a woman I have worried about not being well physically and emotionally in front of loved ones for fear of being a burden ( i have struggled with cronic pain ) .Unfortunately there is often a sense of shame attached. That is a whole nother conversation . Thank you so much for opening up about how many men are feeling on this subject , and BP i am sorry to here about your moms' battle with cancer , and i was very moved to hear about how you Dad stuck with her in the trenches. There is so much to learn from your parents lives and Love . Thank you again , this time for sharing a very personal story with us .
Ren was afraid of losing Bibi if he lost his mind and became too dependent. He was very thin and sick here . The song speaks to his fear.
The red pill is BULLSHIT!! Who wants a woman who gets disgusted by a crying emoji from a guy. It's a fricken human emotion & a relationship is built on support & supporting someone you know better than anyone in your life. You can still be a tough manly man to the rest of the world.
Don I love your comments & you always make me smile!! CROTCH 😂
Trust my 50 years & 25 happily married self -show your mate your true self. Relationships that last don't survive on anything else!!
GOOD NEWS GUYS! The story behind this video is actually a GOOD one. Bibi did date Ren. If you look at the beginning of the video he’s laying on the ground. In real life, she got him to stand up again. Even though they broke up, she supported him helped raise money so that he could get treatment. She got him on his feet again.
In a relationship, you should be able to go back-and-forth, when one partner is down the other can be there for them and vice versa. If a woman can’t handle you at your worst, she cannot have you at your best. She’s not entitled to it!!!
In my opinion, there’s nothing stronger than a man that is not a shamed or a bashed at sharing his weaknesses or crying!
People don’t realize that a marriage takes work. They give up too soon. Throw it out like a used tissue. If you really take your vows seriously that means you have to put in the work you’re not just gonna have happiness all your life just as you’re not gonna have happiness throughout your marriage. You deserve to find a partner that thinks this way and put it into practice.
Really glad yall found this one. Beautiful song!
Love to you both ❤❤❤ 🥺 Hopefully we are escaping the stereotype that Man is protector and Woman will look down for showing vulnerability. Amazing heart wrenching song and what a breath of fresh air listening to you both open up. Thank you guys xx
Thank you both for being so open and honest with us and strong men share their joy, love and fears. We have emotions for a reason and they need to be expressed and processed to not cause internal trauma. Personaly, I look for a man who can be his true self in any situation and share all aspects of his life with me. Thats what love is to me, acceptance, understanding, respect and openness in good times and bad. You are a team and togheter you stand strong against whatever life might throw at you.
I am still looking for that person, thought I had found him but I was mistaken. Mistakes are what we learn from and I know there is someone out there for me, I just have not found that person yet...
I must not forget, We must not forget, that we are human beings ❤
BP your story is a example for young generation
Black P and Don’s stories literally melted my heart before walking in to work ugh people are gonna think me and the wife are fighting I’m so teary eyed lol. What an amazing song and conversation oh my God ❤
This might be my favorite song from Ren. About time 👍
A powerfully emotional song. Had this broke in the 90's it would have gone straight to the top. Much love BP, you've had a lot of struggle and it's made you a strong man. Don, suck it up! (jk)
Ive been with my fiance for 14yrs and I want him to tell me what he's feeling and not bottle it up. It has never disgusted me when he's cried in front of me... I know he's my rock and everyone needs to let things out.
Wish i could love this so many more times than the 1 time. You both gave this your everything. I appreciate you both for not just the reaction but the honesty you both shared. Thank you i was riveted. ❤
BP; your recollection about your parents with your mother's cancer was really moving. I was very moved. Thanks for sharing ❤🙏
Wow as i woman all i can say is your ex is a b*tch...sorry 🤷♀️🤬
I personally find it a huge turn on when a man is willing to be vulnerable and imo you should never change your true self for ANYONE! some men are mens men and some just arent and both are fine....just find the right woman.... theres definitely enough of us out there! 😏❤️
Also sorry for tour loss ....my mum also go breast cancer age 43 and she fought it for 5 years before it went to her bones (extremely painful) and finally her liver and she died aged 48 when i was just 22 so i know exactly how u feel x ❤️
As a mother of 3 boys and wife of a man who suffers with his mental health, this conversation needs to be had more often. Bringing males up to have the comfortable space to bare their souls without fear of rejection in a world where we are conditioned to be strong and silent is not an easy gig. They have the benefit of a father who is willing to show them that still waters run deep. Much love to you both for doing this reaction. It's a beautifully sad song about vulnerability that shouldn't be a burden for ourselves to carry alone but often it is.
When I was 25 (I'll be 43 in 4 days), I married someone who was 40, and I barely knew. We met, fell in love quickly, and eloped. We got married on September 25th. On October 25th, exactly one month to the day later, he had a grand mal seizure. It sent his heart into an irregular rhythm, which then caused full cardiac arrest. He was technically dead for 13 minutes. I did CPR waiting for the ambulance, and when they finally arrived, they had to shock him 3 times before they got a heartbeat.
They put him in a medically induced coma and told me that the brain damage would be too great *if* he woke up. At best, he would be in a vegetative state. A shell of who he was. His mom and dad rushed to our city, and they sat me down on our couch and told me I should leave him. "You're only 25. You don't need to be changing his diapers and being his caretaker at such a young age." They meant well, but I told them there was no chance I'd be going anywhere. His sweet mom smiled and said, "I hoped you'd say that."
He woke up and basically became a medical miracle, but sadly, he did end up with brain damage that affected his personality. He became cruel and violent, especially toward my 3 year old. That's when I had to leave. It was around 7 months after his release from the hospital.
From what I understand, he's back to his old self. He's happy in a new relationship, as am I. We were brought together so his (then) 14 year old son wouldn't have to live without his dad. My purpose in his life was solely October 25th, and I'm ok with that. Our lives now are happy, fulfilled, and beautiful. I'm honored to have been a part of his (and his beautiful family) life. It wasn't his fault that he became violent. It was literal brain damage. But I had to protect my child. I will always protect my children above all else.
I hope he's doing well now. He deserves happiness and peace. I hated that I had to leave, but even his parents agreed that I needed to. Such beautiful, loving people.
Crutch has brought out so many different thoughts and feelings in every person I have spoken to about it. It means something different to everyone. Different perspectives, different life experiences. This is really special!✌❤
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this one, I guess I'm from a different place but I practically beg my partner to open up to me but I can see the fear that I may think he's weak which is far from the truth much love guys x
Guys, I love you. As humans, I just love you. ❤
I've been following your channel for a little while now, and I always look for your reactions because they're fun.
This is my favorite reaction of yours to date. Hands down. The humanity of it. It's just... thank you.
We lost our 3 year old on the tail end of me nearly losing my own life. I don't have to wonder what caliber man I have. I KNOW.
He helped me when I couldn't walk, talk, eat, toilet, bathe, or even breathe by myself. He stuck with me through all of it.
And just when we thought we were on the steady road to recovery, the day I came home from the hospital, we lost our son violently.
I know he shields me from the full force of his grief. He leans on me... but only to a degree. He allows me to fully open up the bottomless chasm of pain, but releases from himself only enough of his personal torture to make sure I know it's there and that he identifies.
There are times I feel like he's sort of closed off from me. I wish I could peek behind that door and see the depths. He allows me to look through the keyhole but not open it. He walks that fine line you both described, of wanting to collapse into my arms but also wanting to be the strong arms that hold me.
Again. Thank you. You described something I know he struggles with. And I know he does it for me, for our children. I have a GOOD man. You guys are good men, too. You have a lot of integrity, personal growth, and desire to BE the right kind of guy.
I admire you guys so much for the deep and honest conversations you can have depending on what you’re reacting to. This makes your channel so valuable! Thank you for all you do. ❤
Sharing a few tears with you both. Big hugs to you BP because I know what it is like to have a one and a million mom. Then when Don said, I will be your crutch because I believe in you, was like a much-needed therapy session. I thought I had found my soul mate, but that wasn't the case. Much love to you guys, Ren, & Bibi for giving us a place to chat about our real emotions.
BP, you made me cry. You're a beautiful human. In my experience, in a relationship the need for support fluctuates between partners. There's no "correct" ratio. It may be that one partner, absolutely doing their very best, needs the ongoing massive support of the other. And it can be incredibly hard on the supporting partner, yes. That person may simply not be up to the task (which has been my personal experience -- I've not had that kind of support myself), but I still think it's an individual characterological issue and independent of a person's gender. We're all imperfect humans, as Ren has observed, and some are just too wounded to be there for others beyond a certain depth. Wonderful discussion, guys.
Guys, great reaction to this moving song. It reminds me of a similar 'women trying to console her man' song, who's going through hell is Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush - Don't Give Up. Also a great song worth reacting to.
BP, you just blew me away man, sooooo much respect for you man.
Thank you and Don for this reaction.
I hope you are both ok.
Take care guys
Daz
I always see the standing alone at the end as a sign that he no longer needs that kind of crutch
I agree . She helped him stand up and then he didnt need a crutch any more .
Baby if I lose my mind, would you stay with me. No. This hits me like a train every time I watch it. No. She didn't in my case and it's painful to be taken back to the flood of despair 20 plus years ago. Yet another musical gem from this gifted artist we're so lucky to have known.
He said the night he did the video, it was VERY cold out. Very hard for him to make, but the cold help add the effects that make this one sooo real. ❤
Just to let you know .not all women leave .my hubby has ptsd due to being in the forces and I would no more leave him than cut of my arm. We've been together 45 yrs. Just to let you know. But seems people don't work at relationships anymore.❤🏴👍✌️👊I mean no bad feelings to anyone just what I do. You both deserve all you want. Sorry if I said something out of order.
Real men cry
Don, if your ex is so selfish that she "can't deal" with your emotional self....... Ex is exactly what she should be..... It's the Lover and the Beloved..... Meaning all solid relationships have BOTH partners being Beloved by the other whilst also loving the other.. If one person is doing ALL the loving, they are not Be-Loved ❤
Been dreading to watch this one, think that is why Dom is making jokes at the start. Knowing something is coming...
A really brave reaction Boyz 💜.
@Dom opening up is scary and being smacked like that is horrible! I am sorry this happened to you.
As a woman, when you both are caring when the other partner needs it, you can share this with each other. Man or Woman can be the crutch. Both need to protect right? But true, if women first say you need to open up and then go backtracking onto stereotypical gender roles, it's just plain stupid imo.😑🤦♀️.
That last image keeps hunting me.. Even when you ask.. It's gone. For those that been there, it hits so hard. I had to break up with my long term boyfriend eventually. I couldn't put him through, what I now know a decade later, another manic episode of mine. Losing your mind is just horrible and knowing what it will do with the one you love is terrifying.
Thank you Robert and Dom. Loving you Boyz 💜💜💜💜 Big Hugs!
A lot of Ren’s music I connect to for too many reasons. I’ve literally come back from the doctors 20 minutes ago. Stress / depression. It’s causing serious health problems, I’ve been struggling to breathe for weeks, and that’s causing it. I live in Japan with my wife. I’m only here for my son. I’m incredibly unhappy and depressed. You can’t speak to Japanese women about anything like this. They ‘do not’ want to hear it. Hell, Japanese society covers this sh¥t up like crazy. It’s unhealthy. Haven’t spoken to my wife, as in actually talking or interacting for almost a year. The art of living without living. Come to Japan for a holiday, the best experience ever, but never live here, never, it’s not worth it.
Now I need to make my own crutch or keep dragging myself across the floor like Ren. Being a man, shut up, go to work, earn money etc. I even do cleaning, washing, cooking etc. I do more housework on top of a full time job in Japan than most Japanese men would ever do after a full days work. The wife still hates me because I don’t care about money….
He has a couple of songs that kinda follow on from this; "Penitence" and "Precious". Penitence feels like it is 2 or 3 weeks after a breakup. It is as raw as fresh carpet burn; brilliant lyrics, amazing rapping, beautiful, ethereal vocals from Molly McKinna.
"Precious" feels like it is 6 or 9 months after breakup. Beautiful melody, lovely simple lyrics, kinda wistful feel. It could be about breaking up with a partner, or the death of a loved one.
The wordplay and lyricism in Penitence is more impressive, but there is something in Precious that really gets me in the feels; have a kleenex ready.
Are you referring to the song Patience and not penitence? Patience is the song he sings when he is about 21 yrs old and was misdiagnosed as having chronic fatigue also known as ME in the uk and Ren featured in a documentary about people with ME called Unrest and he wrote and performed the theme song Patience .
@@Silkytoaster Penitence, featuring Molly McKinna. Amazing song. m.ruclips.net/video/R-7UHDoKlMw/видео.html
I wish you guys would read Ren's notes under the video. Women who think men shouldn't show emotion are ridiculous. If I hear..."as a man..." one more time.....
The roles you attribute to men and women are really old fashioned, sexist, and mysonagistic sometimes. I like you guys, but this "man in charge" thing is tiring.
I don't think you can generalise about all women (or all men, for that matter). Incels seem to do that with women, and most of what they say is rubbish.
As a female, I wouldn't be either turned on or off by the sight of a man crying. Sex wouldn't even enter my head at a moment like that. I'd be concerned and wondering if I could help at all, if I saw anyone (male or female) crying.
It doesn't turn me off if I see a crying emoji posted by a man. I think it is healthy to openly express emotions. Far too many men end up losing their lives to suicide because of the stigma around expressing emotions and seeking help if depressed. I respect men who are open, who communicate and who are not scared to show feelings, even if those feelings are sad emotions that trigger tears.
A bloke who feels that they have to be a rock and hide their emotions behind a mask is a person carrying a huge weight....he's not being fair to himself or to those around him - if he puts up a wall, it's very hard for others to reach over that wall and help him. There's nothing more frustrating than being in a relationship with someone you know is hurting, and they just refuse to open up or have a conversation.....you want to help but their pride won't let them take the help.
Interesting that Don says that he feels he needs to shield his wife and kid from financial issues etc. I'd say that by all means shield children from that kind of thing, but a wife/girlfriend is an adult too, and she doesn't need to be shielded, she needs to be involved, so decisions are made jointly.
Well said. Just like to add that a man who lets you in makes you feel very special.
This was an incredible conversation to hear. There is so much nuance in the male/female dynamic. Typical gender roles were pushed really hard in my house growing up. Women are weaker, emotional and need taken care of while men are strong and not allowed to show feelings other than anger? WTF? It didn't make any sense to little kid me and it makes even less sense now.
Honestly, it made me think relationships were intolerable, boring and everyone was just playing the parts they were supposed to as deemed by society. If everyone is just playing their "role", then how can you believe anything they do or say? It makes the world feel scripted and predictable. Being completely authentic and vulnerable with someone is really hard and takes bravery but if that's not what you're doing, what is the point?
And one more... I have a theory about dating and why it's a trope that dating is a horrible experience of constantly finding crazy people. We're all crazy. And when we're dating we're trying to find someone who is the same kind of crazy or at least a compatible crazy.
The key word is "partner". If my husband is struggling and keeps it to himself, I can't help him see the parts he's missing because he's too overwhelmed or in the thick of things to catch. I can help troubleshoot and problem-solve with him. I get so frustrated when I'm locked out and then I find out what the problem was and I had the answer all along. Let your partner be your partner. If that's not who they want to be, find someone better. Be worthy of someone better.
I share everything with my wife. We have such a deep connection that we can share the most sincere or disturbing thoughts of our psyche. To me, if you can’t share your full self with someone, they aren’t worth it. Tears don’t make you less of a man. Awesome song. Thanks for your honesty and deep insights. ❤
For me a man being vulnerable is actually a measure of his strength. And yes seeing your loved ones hurt, hurts but that doesn't mean they cant support you.Its a partnership. I see a lot of superficiality in the world and it saddens me because they are missing out the best oart of a relationship which is love, not justvwhat each other can bring in terms of wealth for example. But i have to find compassion for those people because they too are a victim of their upbringing. The greatest legacy you can give your kids is to allow vulnerability. Let them see Daddy cry because she then learns empathy when men need it later in her life, as well as seeing his warrior spirit. She learns balance then. Too many time we consider wealth, career, status as requirements when we should consider kindess, humility and love, because imo they are the greater assets. Thanks for being vulnerable guys and Don, there are great girls out there, just keep your heart open ❤
As a husband and a dad, it's hard to show that side of you, always the rock. I have very supportive wife, but we had a moment, recently, where we were going through a family issue with my wife's dad and while I know she was having a very hard time dealing, so was I as a lot of it fell on me. At one point when I vented, she broke down and it turned into a shouting match until I told her that I'm allowed to break down too. It was all good after that. Still the rock when it's important.
This is where Ren shows some of his The Artist formaly known as Prince Style and Don was right on point. being inlove is not a firendship in ways. My girl left me 6 months after I got sick but I never truly got that sick. True love is YEAH I will be your crutch if you ever get sick I will be there till the end of end. that is true love and most do no0t know it never had it and never will.
Yo guys. This reaction hitted me different. I'm sitting here in silence 10 minutes after this vid was done. Thank you. For a moment, I felt so recognised as a man. For a moment, able to allow emotion without feeling alone. You must be great friends to have irl. Seriously, thank you. Didn't know I needed this, but I did. So uhm, Pegasus, I feel you completely, i wouldn't be comfortable at all either showing this to a camera. But know that you did help at least one person here. You both did.